Episode
Description
Note: the audience was not mic’d this episode. More horrible rapping, a new character named Big Red, a phone call to Chevy Chase and a conversation with Adam Goldberg. In D&D: our heroes fall into a pit!
Transcript
call ya ladies and gentlemen Harmon child is now in session
put it together for the mayor of harmontown
Chris Smoove it’s the money Style
I thought they were going to keep it going
oh no not you guys sorry it’s always wait for it makes it better pussy put her head on the ground I thought your mama cuz she harasses lost-and-found got my I got my dick in the shoe like I can’t I can’t hear the beat what am I going to do
Survivor yo yo yo yo yo I fuck your mama on the North Pole and the South Center Mount I thought your mama at a time so hard she cried about your mama and told her that I didn’t try I fuck your mama on the foot and a half about your mama while I read Cat in the Hat dr. Seuss childhood your mama and your mama
I fuck your mama she gave birth to you now I fucked her that means
are are are subservient to me
the progenitor of your life. Buck with my flesh night
no
sorry sorry sorry so sorry
Kevin Spacey
cost of a little congested I can hear it hasn’t aired yet but we we fucking we drop some mad science it was 90 straight minutes of just wrapping seconds of Daddy’s got your flesh knife knife not that. That put me off of myself
who was the first among you to assume that the threat crossing the threshold be the N word it like that I would eventually just go
no flush knife is where I went to Far East Coast niggars is forgivable that’s part of the style Shakespeare made up a lot of words obviously there’s no black people the audience that are going to go like all get used to talking about your gross Brody the bad person flush knife
no necessary order people say in the conversation how you doing it’s very confusing my head is incredibly congested so if I’m speaking too loudly or not get it is there anyone in the room that didn’t get a cold alright well we’ll take him up into space and injects do to Kohl’s in a time I are on the congratulations assholes but the rest of us had a horrible cold irritating when not horrible at my head is it I’m over the cold I’m not contagious and not sneezing all night coughing and not do anything but I can’t I eat my head is filled with snot it’s just like like this is filled
it’s almost comforting because I didn’t have to do a shove it and communicate with anyone I would be going to be kind of you know what time do you say it but you say it’s kind of impenetrable layer of snot up there is just come on if I can find some sort of tool to add to penetrate doubt that that’s not my BFF
Trucking news
The Academy of Scottish
this is what I can or when you go underwater and they’re so if you think at any point tonight that I’m doing a bad job take a step back and actually just admire me trucker by just me trying to throw like a like a like it’s just a test where you’re at mentally vocally you’re hearing right now those beats I gave you to start off for a little not really in the Wheelhouse which is much as supposed to put some in a cheetah golf ball up pretty high just a test where you’re at right now just going to get get an idea what you mean
give me my Beats are I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t know what I got I got a head full of mucus
Play Born it was already hard to hear people I’m 39 years old was was impressive when it should have been all right thank you Kyle Kyle brings is this
oh yo
Yelp
yep yep yep
I hear them saints come marching in I had them 6 months when the saints come marching in, is the track 3 marching band
all right let’s not God works in wonderful mysterious ways he didn’t want last week I came up started freestyling
90 minutes a fucking just mad fires spittin comedy gold hear it if if you disagree then I won’t be around but of course you think we’ll do it again like like stay on target man this is like every every episode should be different and we’ve been trying for a I think a. For weeks now cuz I tried to like in the Dungeons & Dragons game we’re going to have we’re going to meet my dad so we tried to get Eric idle
we try to get our friend from the drawing room and then we called everybody and then we got down to just like okay like to perform these things in the green room tonight just now left moments ago we had Elijah from Vampire Diaries Daniel Gillies
he’s my age and shorter than me but he was going to play my dad
horrible food poisoning ran out of the comic book starts spraying shit out of his ass
least sexy thing you’ve ever seen in your life whatever Network Vampire Diaries is on you should look like a look like a Hovercraft
put put on a network that listen to that shit
he’s also an NPC Saving Hope of Saving Hope which is the prequel to Raising Hope when when when baby books made it possible to name your daughter hope they didn’t know the indirect result would be a bunch of shows and movies with hope as a word with an ing before it pretty clever I get it her name is Hope
fuc yourself
go fuck yourself if you the title of your anyting begins with a gerund raising cooking a kidnapping a cookie boxing enough sorry dumb like like don’t reject it if you’re if you’re involved in the entertainment industry and someone proposes it go stop it responsibility in my head and now I’m angry and I’m yelling at people I’m talking about New Zealand actors are coming out of their ass and I’ll be very delicate about why you left
scary ghost just fell down as he as a vampires are friends with ghosts we learned that from cereal boxes
I don’t know you’re just asking for it now that I do and I didn’t say nothing
I got another beat it’s real weird that’s what could go wrong with a little rap
desert Chevy Chase get fired from
I don’t know how to lead you to look at that girl how am I supposed to feel like I feel the exact same way or what the fuc
whose side am I on we should get him on the show
all right now right now
he won’t answer probably home alone
all right what what what what’s the forecast but if you ask him if he’ll come on the show I got to go to the dragons with us tonight at the cross that bridge after the phone call away if it’s fine.
My parents are coming home
just a flashing last girl after that unless I tell him that I am graveyard
say hi honey I got a new phone and I know how it work it I bet he has the same phone I don’t okay okay you guys are best friends aren’t you are the same person
but got fired by ABC
and we have more in common now than ever
I don’t know where the speaker is on
it’s 8:27 I mean at this this is rape time for him
raping raping people
Sega
not hear the phone right now please leave a message I’ll get right back to you
at the tone please record your message when you finished recording you may hang up or press 1 for more options
Russell roofer owners have caller ID and I wanted to know if you wanted to come play Dungeons & Dragons at my harmontown podcast now that we’re both looking for work come come come come down I’m at stage right now people listening but you’re used to reach out to you I’m sorry I’m sorry it happened to you too and I and I and I love you and I like Ike I love your vagina call me back
it’s 323 I love you I’m sorry I’m sorry for everything call me back
right
that’s an appropriate response
let’s call let’s go for a rock Obama
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, no limit is that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and blackston amount each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so it’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker it myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
Yo-Yo Yo-Yo Yo-Yo Yo-Yo Yo-Yo Yo-Yo Yo-Yo cat in the front lawn to punch your mama cuz you turned into Cleo fuck your mama house
what’s a pussy till it turns into a mouse to put it in my shoe shoe threw it into the Blue Sky by your momma’s the sky that’s the truth
do they’re all seven hundred kinds of mamas
science calls them elected
no no no no no new taxes
I did not have relations with that I did not have I did not have relations with that woman
Animal Crossing
your mama
I thought your heart
butter in the prison yard Walking Dead season 3 Frontier everywhere
Walking Dead season 3 poster everywhere
Walking Dead season 3 everywhere
well that was it was all right
that’s pretty good knew that was an added as an accurate description to Kyle use said when I get a new beat it’s it’s pretty weird
now. Keep your phone handy it have it on ring make any calls back we want this ready to go
I mean honestly I never
you know people don’t understand that
we never really hated that thing and I hated him for it but it is very difficult to work with but I was that wasn’t that wasn’t why I got fired and I didn’t I mean he and I were
peas in a pod Pisa no psychotic on it wasn’t the under the entire time all of that like hullabaloo was happening he when he and I were texting each other and stupid like vagina jokes. He’s a he’s a child like me is fine and it’s whatever I wouldn’t trust him with my children or or a sandwich. I love you but but but I have no I’m at a site you think he would settle in and embrace what it is to play Dungeons & Dragons like you think he would get that he can’t Embrace his own shoe
a society Into the Blue he’s very confused by everything
that’s what is going to happen to all of us I’m getting increasingly confused by a bite by everything I still don’t know how to use Reddit I’ve been I’ve been lurking for six months I finally worked up the nerve to make a little Post in like a community thing in before I thought you’d go there even hard to navigate but I’m saying like that Community like you know you leaving a comment I don’t know if you know it’s a it’s a new environment for an old man
so I replied to somebody saying something about Community last night but I was procrastinating writing an end and it was like Dan Harmon house ad showing up for a simultaneous Lego party and like Ray Parker jr. was there just like I don’t get the car
what the fuck I pictured this guy having a wife and children at this point he ain’t afraid of no ghosts afraid of himself
the new thing happening all right your name
I love you I love your beverage
Marcus Marcus exhilarating when someone does your perception big red do you want to come up and talk into the microphone or does that terrify you ready to say
I’m I’m I’m I’ve been sucking off your energy for the first 10 minutes of the show that you’re a great laugh for an egg is very happy to be here I’m really excited it’s hard to fake sincerity I mean this guy is happy to be here and I just been filling me up you guys are a bunch of assholes
you don’t know you don’t know a decent rap from a hole in the ground I’m getting big red what’s your what can we ask your real name from LA from San Jose but I’m going to school at Azusa Pacific University around here somewhere where you have to please forgive me cuz now you said three things that I have to keep track of who you okay San Francisco team here to this area because the place is near where we are somewhere
we drink all the time where can I get down in the Eastern Panhandle leaving town my favorite thing when I’m on the road for a hangover is a strawberry shake and there was a gas station and it was a Shoney’s Shoney’s
I want you to I want you to every time he speaks to the microphone and twist into it with a big smile on his face like the most enthusiastic grocery store manager in the world like
for the groceries and cleaned up crap that’s what they make you do yeah I had to wash the bloody toilets of the fucking Trader Joe’s everywhere a monster piano everywhere is there a grocery store for like like like you know how to find it when your bladder is guy but
there was a sign on the on the men’s room door and it was written in like a half hour out of order and I was like fuck you out of order and I open the door
stand
you are walking in human fecal matter of fact the pens out of order they consider writing don’t go in the bathroom if you know what’s good for you and I why I went in I took a picture of it it’s insane it’s gross I got to looking at it that’s why I took a picture of it I haven’t shown it
information about everything we’re talking about I just had the best strawberry shake in my life cuz it was someone I went back there and I look like a vampire plaque in the 9:30 a.m. I walked in there and he’s working behind the counter or in the back ice cream restaurant berries and milk at you mix it up herself and she brought it to me I said what does fresh strawberries you put energy cuz it’s a strawberry shake in it
and it’s like I don’t ever want to leave here I want to stay here forever grandson in the game is really cool a station of is also one of those sheets KFC KFC Taco Bell Subway mashup by fast food in one shity, combination get to be a bummer it’s like the ExxonMobil but if I got it says it’s literally like a KFC signs split in half like I like I like I like I like bottom half of golden arches what’s the restroom and I go in there this woman behind the counter at the subway little tiny fake half of a Subway counter at the gas station and she smiled and I’m saying this woman had a couple
she was the lady that we’re going to go West Virginia I like Jesus Christ
she was excited and using all your 21 here and you just gave me moonshine all night so good he’s one after another I don’t remember I don’t know what anything means it means they making her backyard because of the legal say make it out I can make it out of Moonlight they’re not they’re not reasons corn alcohol is used in Sugar Sugar corn in the use some guys use what alcohol that makes you go blind wood alcohol
big red Big Red Bull that’s what it was. I still don’t understand are you visiting this area or are you moved here so you’re a new character in our universe and it’s because you’re going to school in Azusa Pacific never will
what do they do there what is your what’s your ambition I want to be I want to do history want to write history books as I can cuz then you can sleep late
how did you say third grade history I used to think that I used to hate the idea of Ren faires things like that was it. That was so stupid and I went to one is like I’m dressing up next time I guess it’s good to go out and do it around here are they are they sticklers about in accuracy though not really California
West Virginia budget for real
what are you at I thought you were saying you were fat fat fat or they can let me right next to the Renaissance Faire
fat people the Civil War I’m sure well I don’t like civil that I don’t have time to eat
you know what inside where is this label bring me more sandwiches and other side wins they’ll be more sandwiches are you do I’m just a shity private
do you do it
what’s your what’s your what’s the you do like actual battles or not we just react with battle it look like we don’t have enough people putting 2,000 reenactors and how is that how close is that to the end of the words like that that was The Wizard of World War I lost so many people killed in the Civil War was married to Vietnam and it doesn’t equal the Civil War
StoryBots
history is going to teach history is going to ask, just came out here
go to Andrew Jackson that you can coax you into a little freestyle rap action
oh here we go yeah drop a beat I’m going to fuck your mom to take her downtown put her in my pants and rubber all around if I don’t know if I’m going to make babies you better dust underneath the table it’s going to go everywhere your better watch out cuz I’m coming to town hide your women hide your wives hide your husbands everybody on this house tonight thank you
radio station
thank you big red
all right and cooler freestyle and then fucking not have to say it three times amazing
like a professional coming tonight but I I picture him like crushing a beer bottle oh shit I waited till you said it three times
Adam Goldberg
what do you think I don’t go by what do you think of big red has gold Fallen to Green so quickly
thank you have the first time I was up here I know that that might have been not what you intended but it certainly was cracking a beer bottle in the background and you know what happens is if you have 400 you’re one of the best players to ever hit baseball that’s only for I think I’m 4.5 + 10 that’s better than they always be better than sorry I didn’t mean to say your name nobody knows what you’re talking about
jealous
people on the podcast with realize that the mic stand is like 1 and 1/2 this point
not jealous always exciting people in the audience in the deaths of two and a half minutes but every week I give you a consistently and 1/2 minutes by quantity every single time describe your apartment and this is more of a thesis when I see when we walk in the front door for you in a few things but not much and I don’t think certain lines it’s going to be overtaken by that guy
yeah I don’t worry about your description of your apartment I think I’m pretty sure I got on sale to your beautiful view of a kind of victory in Hollywood to get in the gate that doesn’t send family keeps breaking so their kids can get in and out I’m done calling the landlord about it it’s just easier
it security through obscurity no one’s going to come up to that specific apartments in Black 3
bragging about it I know you can come over we invited you and I are forever friends at work first one
sunken living room and be honest and I will I will I will I will lower the bar over there was when I lived in Hollywood my one-bedroom apartment when I would walk into you might be a neat freak but right after this is 1999 heat vision and Jack has been not picked up by Fox for who I am currently working God bless them for their decisions II
getting somewhere this is more than he talks to me ever Jeff just don’t fight when you walked into my apartment you would see Pete’s at like like you would be me high and pizza boxes there was mannequin legs with pantyhose on them
there I was I was wiping my ass was T-shirts because I wouldn’t go buy toilet paper because I didn’t want people at Albertson’s to know that he would know Jack hadn’t been picked out for series
surprised by anything if I walked into your apartment what do I see quarters or do I see like like a guy this is a nice space but I think they’re 15 months it’s going to be in there has been there and it’s slowly turning yellow like Miss havisham’s dress like a wedding cake for a party reference it’s not a place to be it’s just that there hasn’t been any
attempts to be able to put more things in there it’s already is it clean if it has everything in there the cleanest information but my apartment is clean it in a little bit pregnant with the hopes that I might be able to buy furniture that was not left on the road somewhere
swans mostly
how many bedrooms for me who’s the beautiful staff named on a statue of David cuz you come here I know she works her name is Anastasia Davis yes.
is this like actually
if I were to bring her here if you’d like I don’t think he gets to use that word I think he thinks he can use that word but he can’t use that word f and African-American the second half is for female because I’m that is one on true into irrelevant at 3 on the first point that we only have a couple more episodes to record before we we leave and like I said I got some really good for 15 minutes
all right well any any parting thoughts on the election
I’m chilling and I’m going to self Deport off this stage
did you know Pinocchio action collected a lot of birds
are you still on stage
he still actually on the audience and I continue to walk the line with Adam Goldberg I don’t know what I hear beleaguered sigh from that direction like I mean like why are we currently doesn’t go to Haiti to certainly also doesn’t go to
four episodes Big Red’s up here in on Jesus we love you too big brace is it it’s it seems like what you see is what you get with the big laugh or big big big big big people hold their breath
yeah he’s like a tightrope Walker start to divide from each other right you guys start going to stop bringing Adam Goldberg up stop saying his name and then I’m like fuck you guys Adam Goldberg you are too this is Hermantown Goldberg there should be a statue of him outside our city in some ways
Spencer Spencer
but also I was going to bring the guy that’s going to shoot I think it’s important we’re taping tonight either being very inconspicuous and then everything’s fine and it’s no big deal is a real thing we’re definitely starting January 10th for proceeding Across the Nation and around the perimeter and we’re doing like a tour of of of the nation obviously we’re not going to go everywhere in the nation in three weeks because as I’ve said harmontown is a it’s a it’s a catastrophic chaotic like weird saying and every time I try to make something happen it turns to mud in my hands and every time it’s kind of like go with the flow we tend to have a lot of fun
treehouse in so people want to come and listen to me talk and it was boiled down to fifty of you who seem to come every week and maybe maybe that’s why he proceeded to Tempe and we’re going to have a cold bucket of reality splashed over us there at our first show there at at at Felts Mound comics and then in Tempe Tempe accent sounds like I don’t know what they would have thought I thought you’re going to have a stand-up act and you don’t do terrible rapper in you’re dumb and you’re fat and you stink your butt stinks at the people that are going to come see us as we go on tour are people that have heard the slightly edited version of our podcast
I thought it was about an hour 18 what are the two hours and filled with you saying edit this out
I don’t like it cuz it’s gravel in Austin Texas
amon-re are you related to
two weeks later Boston Massachusetts
the Dan Harmon
I am from New Boston prison I will steal the death
Albany New York
I just have a cold and he said that I was drinking and I inflated a snot bubble out of my nose which hasn’t happened to the sixth grade have I’m not that cool
I didn’t understand what he was doing tonight community in Minnesota
give a missed call check on the road to Alabama
we are at the whole thing out is all I can say is our heroes have lost Lord but a lot hearing rumors of his flight in the night what a fright Sharpie openly lamented the lack of his parties tracking ability just then they realized an expert tracker had been following them conveniently the Kenai mulrain was standing nearby and United the party struck out in search of sharpies father lost the trail and in a dark moment of desperation Sharpie managed to tap into forbidden blood magic casting a spell in the hopes of divining the location of his father
compulsively following the evil spells pull our heroes Came Upon what appeared to be ignoring kampmann they hid in the bushes deciding how to proceed
unpause the camp and now I have to
but there’s no actors playing my father of my desperate efforts to plan things that we’re here at a at a camp horno Camp thanks for Spencer
do we know you do not know because we have to kill some bad news correct you did kill some Knowles Knowles of though the White Bones knows you’re outside in the tribe
good distance off you can see several dwellings made of interlocking bones of massive proportions perhaps from the skeletons of dragons or perhaps a Titanic frog from the center of the circular Park of high-rises smoke and you can smell the scent of burning meat from even hear me I’m hungry and meet her Danger let’s drive heading towards the smell of burning frog you know I’m so drunk insignias different I don’t know how close are we without being seen what what do I say you see several bone Hut stretch together by animal hides you don’t manage to see any people but you do see smoke rising from the encampment
correct time in a squirrel
I found out we were at the pikey earlier in Spencer told me that many squirrels are small rodents about that I can make I can convene with casting speak with animals on yourself small squirrel
hey squirrel
what’s it matter if you don’t know me from Adam do me a solid go and sneak in that camp in that tell me what the name of their Knoll tribe is like what name what name leg of the tribe was that I do I have the Insignia like that there’s a white school and took me and then there’s a black par someone brought this Here’s To Nuts on the front end of you tomorrow when you come back to your tits in that stuff into the village
find you before you can react you hear a low grating snarl just kidding but keep your voices and weapons down a lot to react to passive aggressive burglar
I put one hand up on the other hand down
you do that iced I slowly turn you slowly turn before you you see a yellow Noah with matted fur coated in Grime bits of grass and dried blood he was with brown leather armor in carries a blade dagger he smells awful and wears a necklace made of Bones ears and fingers
where is it gets complicated
meet us a little less harm because I just want to make sure I get the Crips and the Bloods like as a black paw print to a certain death
don’t worry about him what are you guys doing outside this encampment because I’ve been following you I thought you might be able to track my name is H as of the butts alignment Paul Knowles I was sent over to keep an eye on board what’s a lot but I crashed in the night
pin up right so you better you better protector but you lost track of us I’ve been watching you you know take this several day trip and I’ve been hoping you’d find your father doing Helping Hands a couple times and then you seemed fine
all right you’re in danger, I don’t know your guess is as good as mine I thought you knew where you were going. They left us out of some of these negotiations with those Warriors in the night and put it towards the back of our new friend or possibly Pho and I say well let’s walk you in first and let’s find out if this is a friendly camp or not
are we sending out the dangerously close to your face saying he was your friend I have a nice dangerously close to a spinal cord say and say hi to you do
he he he mulls over your offer and he says that seems like a good plan
I could tell you right now this is a white skull Camp you can see by all those bone where’s my what’s a squirrel
squirrel squirrel returns
I saw a bunch of white skulls useless fucking dick there’s more that was just the first step to continue it appears that the village is on fire and several slain Knowles lion the streets
there’s a there’s a battle of foot any enemy of our enemy is our friend correct squirrel of our dinner the squirrel say that while you’re watching the squirrel that has previously under your blade away and rushes toward the village he says don’t waste any time in mind those traps
I need ashes away towards the village
traps minded
what do I need to collect Kassidy light to make sure I don’t 7 of travertine if you don’t know I guess you probably could you guys aren’t too well-versed in traps to be so I can send a bunch of squirrels in this
i7 and i7 the squirrels
2 1/2 squirrels show up
metric
I keep forgetting that I always kill a squirrel when they run into a small wire that you had previously seen a large bag flies and hits the squirrel in the face is covered in a white powder he stumbles blindly into a bush
so we’re good to go make sure he’s okay he’s dead should probably check in with him powdery substance of Unknown Origin the powder
it was just flower a squirrel or follow your ex you follow your ears
as you’re running towards the village you feel the ground under you give way
you fall about 30 ft into a deep dank dark pit
you both take
for falling damage
I have the power to heal light was then I I don’t think so they’re right
pretty sure I do
I have a I have a spell it says negate normal pits
circle of protection pits uncanny Dodge whatever the fact that is unfortunately uncanny Dodge does not affect pets more of a gravity ternative rock band from the 90s
I can barely make out your friend’s mother fucker as your eyes adjust you can see a lightly colored ring on the floor on the opposite sides of the pit it looks like rope
next to you is a skeleton it appears to have a small patch pouch wedged in its rib cage
Michelle is a pouch wedged in his rib cage someone has wedged the pouch into the skeleton rib cage doesn’t work there Copper Pot
0.2
not me
Goonies Goonies
okay so there’s a ring that looks like rope in the span of damn it he’s got a pouch couch grab the pouch I look at the Pabst in the pouch
it’s dark it appears to be brown is it a turd smell it it doesn’t smell like a turd old trapping on the patch and pick it up
I plucked a pouch from the skeletons that appears to be full of some sort of dust or powder
you don’t know what the powder
can’t take you anywhere you take one damage you feel your insides being wrung out a little bit
no one no one in the surrounding snorts things by default you feel very thirsty
it’s a you got any water you do
not give him some water he appreciates the beverage Macaulay Culkin and monster now so I can barely see and see if there’s a light colored ring on the floor probably have a torch inventory with my magic you have burning hands it’s pretty flashing no
he does have dancing line you make several Dancing Lights hovering floating you see it is very clearly a rope but there seems to be a shimmering Border in cubicle fashion around it
get it big big rat and it’s obviously the skeleton down here to the pouches ribcage do we need do we need
rat poison
garlic powder around it to see if I can get this to see if I could
this guy thinks the cube has a force field around the Rope
I take the pouch and I sprinkle the powder on the cubicle of the cube around the thing it gives a violent shuttering terrible shriek it appears to be a gelatinous cube and choose formed into a cube with the sole purpose of engulfing anyone that falls near it
it works his forward
well it’s been a long time since I’ve said it but I thought that was cool
it was exactly as cool as they responded but you step aside and cast a quick Ray of frost into its left cubicle side quit working. We’re being attacked by a yellow right now the frost side it does to damage to the cube doesn’t seem very powerful at higher levels
flaming sword
pulling your flaming sword from its sheath you strike at the cube
you straight to the cube a flaming gash appears that I’d quickly sealed itself over with it’s oozing book it takes us some damage it takes 5 damage
I have a potion
of enlarge person and it’s not what you think or is it this is this was given to me but through email
toss it to Cork drink it drink this potion of enlarge person snorting
I snort the potion potion in immediately groped at Giant Heights you almost squeezed everyone else you are so large in the pit you quite you know you feel like you could climb out but you are still inside
can I step on the big jello you can attempt to step on squash to make jello
you critically squash the big jello
it’s like it’s like Price is Right
it flies into pieces the Rope is all yours we climb the Rope we use the rope to climb out I guess right at the pit
yeah by the sound of that audience Applause I detect a time to stop playing go to the dragons I feel like they have decided that it’s time to stop by this that was a close call but I have the feeling inside that camp encampment with a knows we’re going to meet your father either next week or week after that I don’t know whether or not we got it we got till 2013 Tim Curry backing
yes I’m going to say we promise you Tim Curry next Monday now I really liked Tim Curry for Julian Sands is there two people that you hang out with that I don’t hang out more than I do
I want my fantasy is to have one of them come on and read Yelp reviews
I want Tim Curry to read Yelp reviews
text Steakhouse we thought it was a great picture of themselves as Tim Curry kind of Indian
when it comes to your health brushing your teeth is one of the most important parts of your day quip knows that they’ve combined dentistry and designed to make a better electric toothbrush
quip is the new electric toothbrush that pack just the right amount of vibrations into a Slimmer design at a fraction of the cost of bulkier traditional electric brushes when they sing about quip toothbrushes is that they vibrate you with cues to switch two sides like which side you’re brushing yes it also comes with a mount that suctions to your mirror using my quit for a little bit so I can testify to the fact that even though it doesn’t sound like a suction sticky holder on your mirror would actually stay on your mirror it does Millennials have descended on your least likeable activity the kids are calling it quits Millennials are calling it brush to things and Time Magazine so just take anything but in Time Magazine is calling it one of the best inventions of the year just think about that
Dental students that you’re getting with quipped that I noticed when I got my bike it looks like you got a little easier to read booklet there it’s kind of getting you into a tooth brushing regimen that the except it’s like if you’re into self-care this year and you should be because of the world’s dying to the point where okay they’re going to send you a new toothbrush head the minute it’s yours is going to be worn out a new battery the minute this thing stopped vibrating like you, it’s it’s a subscription to dental security dollars and if you go to get clip.com harmontown right now you’ll get your first refill pack for free with a quip electric toothbrush harmontown
yp.com harmontown
all right well yeah then I’m 47 I mean Jesus up
how did how do we lose all the microphones for a private Aeronautics company in space buying tickets and going up in the space is there any way to like achieve some kind of cool or I mean I don’t have to tell me the main guy super-genius rich guy who runs the whole thing he he just did this whole story was like we’re going to colonize Mars which is farther than as a as a stepping stone
all your money Casino about
the planet and the Moon is the moon what do you think I’m pretty sure you know I don’t think so and I like organic matter of some sort of like worm thing probably or something probably something as some evidence that something exists and black go I don’t know, maybe a couple tremors
so Mars has an atmosphere I just terraform it
I am just a few that I have no idea what I’m 20 20 minutes 20 minutes of stuff
well I guess 9:48 or if I just called cuz I think it’s fast I think
probably Mars wrap it up tonight or are you feeling is it seems like maybe we should be colonizing the moon then it sounds like the the powers-that-be like they know something we don’t it’s easier to move to Mars at this point you know what I saw and today they deserve their let me this won’t come to fruition for a while but then they figured out faster-than-light travel didn’t figure it out they closed there’s a possible future where there they they they kind of have figured it out where you can create an engine that kind of works space behind you and then work space in front of the and light is only capable of traveling at the speed of light which you know if something is 5 light years away it takes five years to get there at the speed of light but you can warp space instantly it doesn’t you can
orbit faster than the speed of light so like you kind of like this is conceptual space ships are you can like create an engine that makes behind the spaceship like warp one way and in front of the spaceship weapon other way effectively like just making these things shoot like across space faster than the speed of light and you could get two Alphas insurance and two weeks anyways just a heads up on that one cuz then you could get to the moon in today till like the testator was but I was like maybe an earlier attempt on Asher Angel study going okay for real we have to actually start thinking about whether or not robots are going to murder all of us
we’re also going to have to have this kind of guy said something at the end of the article that kind of stuck with me that I kind of it’s like okay that’s the real threat it’s guys like it’s not a question of whether or not the Sciences are forced to talk about this now it’s not a question of whether or not robots will ever have any malicious intent because that’s a human thing the whole point of making robots is like we hate ourselves and we don’t want religious but the big question is whether or not at some point a higher intelligence will will will find us useless you know what will will not see will have a plan that doesn’t involve us don’t like what I think is just wind-up uploading our Consciousness onto the internet or something and then we’ll just go along with the cology like really putting your eggs in a small basket him and maybe we’ll be running around like shooting at them with paintball guns I don’t know that’s that’s a thing we shouldn’t
datamars with us we may need to rethink the moon colonization maybe maybe go to Mars but we’re already in the gas station on the way there like you know like to buy harmontown 66 truck stop on the way to be a Shoney’s big red I’ll be there just going to use tile at a big like bubble you can it’s actually been making this other guys like making a machine that can just print buildings and they’re saying it’ll be a lot easier when you’re in space to just use the material of the actual land and like melted and I are not supposed to bring a bunch of like steel winch it took the planets
meaning what that we could just make like a big Logan like a base and top of it and then just like you know basically poop out like houses that speaks to like if you were going to do that you would have streaks that are just lined up know if I’m going to put my house as we should bring Daniel Gillies
he’s there he’s the pooper 25-3 so I know exactly where I’m going to go to meet you it would be like x e v z something and then maybe probably like three dimensional so you actually play Minecraft like how high are you but can I ask you a question what was built in Minecraft in Minecraft but every time I come up with an update we keep making new good thing I don’t have carrots but you not you have to restart the server so every time I just days I keep making skyscrapers I just make and I have to make him out of cooked Stone I can’t make him go to Cobblestone which means that I could go on about this
he’s like big grey Towers like a like an evil person
all right choices you can take you to a rap
well that’s about all the time we got but I think I think you know what time it is
it’s about time for the time to be up
Yelp Yelp
yeah yeah yeah yeah like a rat into mites affect your mama and I have her in my home I got a shoe and a hat made a foam affect your mama
I use this
play the duet it’s not like I can hear people sighing so tired
I just feel that for pain
I can tell I can tell a good closer when I hear it
yo
65000 bodies I’m making up a tragedy that you don’t know about
when is that crime going to be accounted to
Utah you know what you did
65000 never forget
1922 Utah you know what happened
coal mines 65000
don’t forget bitch
yo there might never be a b
there’s no there’s no beating Utah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
65000 people died in Utah in the coal mines underneath
people died like little kernels of humanity from Utah you should be ashamed of yourself I can’t the combination of the concept that have guns and the changing beats in the time reach at my reach exceeded my grass I can rap about people that I can rap about how much I fuck your mom went to a standard beat just barely it’s 958 just bear with me I will edit all this out thank you for coming
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
start your mama like she was a soda pop in the snow
you had it
so close you are there with me nothing rhymes with with me
chimney chimney what can we do a retake if with me comes up again
edit that out
and again thank you for coming
yo mama in the street here in the city but your mama and fuck your mama and your mama
Zach McKeever Kyle whatever your last name is Emily Gordon
show my time travel back in time
lizard
spot spot in the city
open changes cuz she came from your mom up and down by the way
I thought your mama clear enough. Your mama your mama I fuck her in the prison yard Walking Dead season 3 Walking Dead
you got 40 seconds left, it was brutal wasn’t rhyming it was uncomfortable she was crying it was real it wasn’t consensual she was calling out your name
but she was like devastated
it ruined her life and it ruin the life of everyone in your family and I got away with it
Utah
thank you very much.
Drive home