Episode 360: Cliffhanger!

Episode

Episode 360: Cliffhanger!

Description

Harmontown’s final curtain call. Featuring Dan Harmon, Jeff Bryan Davis, Spencer Crittenden, Brandon Johnson, Rob Schrab, Open Mike Eagle, Steve Levy and Nick Rutherford. Drive fast and take chances!

Transcript

just for fun I don’t really have a Pringles dick I just keep my dick
akima dick inside of Pringles can a cut the keys my penis safe and dry
some people call me Pringles dick but I never really found
I never really found out why harmontown is now in session
Brandon Johnson
poop poop poop
Robert Rob
does the Creighton game
I guess we’re good friend O’Keefe open mike eagle
awesome cuz I got that guy
thank you yeah yeah
god dammit
all my sweets around me
where’s the music there was no music playing a song that so you can have some music I have I haven’t done Mama wraps in it ever since Mike taught me to stay off of that crutch and that true what is the truth. There’s a t mom is out there right now pick it in waiting to be the Box
all right. Laying down Beach Press attachment McKeever everybody
I can’t
I didn’t really oh yeah oh yeah they’re applying coming off
can’t hear the beat we had turn it up
not me that’s not
Elmer’s Glue it’s white and Tiny
your mom is 90 has glue on it too
talking about my come
cuz when I’m done fucking her
ejaculate
I’m here to Jim and that’s great when I nocturnal you late Yelp I’m going to put it on a plate okay gross or a cracker I don’t lie exposed come they got you on flash on flash terrific, as soon as I hit the floor or couch or a plate or a sorceress part 2 is coming once they start adding props to
it didn’t happen oh no for that time after seven years it took him to recognize when did not indulge you
we don’t we don’t we don’t I don’t want any more of that right now so it’s the 360 episode of harmontown
call Sarah Cole we’ve got out of that we would end on a 360 full of full circle circle circle what are the odds what are the odds
we got we got overflow with like luminaries up here on on stage Friends of the show and things and
that still wasn’t enough Jeffrey still oversold or I don’t know if y hopefully there are more people coming then we could everything so apparently they’re simulcasting to the Mexican place next door shout out to the Mexican place on De I guess if you will they’re going. So hello to the people over there
one you really committed to the Chewbacca thing here with the
totally be honest beep beep be brutally honest happy sad how do you feel right now I still got sand in every crevice and I but I think it’s a very I’m a very I think before I would be able to feel anything there would be defense mechanisms that would go up that would keep me from feeling I’m a very broken person to kill this and and also I can’t believe this lasted more than seven weeks seven years but you pulled the trigger on this
yeah it is a joke with Mike Mike Eagle I thought had a great way of describing in the green room and she said it’s a very it’s an emotionally pregnant night but I like that cuz it’s not it’s like what happened and I don’t know who started this thing in the garden she was sad that she couldn’t be here tonight but she look she she told everybody to wish you were here cuz she gave birth to this she was the reason why we started this and she said she wanted to be here when it died but you can take it she’s at Stonehedge right now so she’s like in a place of sacrifice
but to realize that there was no reason to show should have lasted more than a year that goes crazy we started monthly right back in time
I’m only happy that it won’t be two hours of my life every week but I love to travel from all over the planet the people from Spain here in Italy the people from Sherman Oaks
I wish I didn’t hear that just comes out and then I take my seat so I’m just going to sit down now to the show yeah and when Spencer episode 5 or something the cops can let you know that the American America so they can shoot you with the European countries
but they can they can lie to you about what what they have on you or I can tell you we found a bloody fingerprint and it’s your fingerprint and they don’t have to be telling the truth about that but here’s the thing I I just heard I just heard this thing in this true crime podcast I thought this was amazing that this girl goes to a party she disappears they find her body but later she’s been horribly it’s a bit you know I’m going to dwell on the details of the of the crime cuz they want to skip to the funny part but victims
but I did get the guy that they knew I’d get it but his DNA’s on a costume that are ripped and all the stuff like like the guy is like he’s dead to rights when he’s just doing that thing or the Tells one line it gets caught in that line is like why do you have sex at that party you might have been her zaku consensual sex I was couple of cop cop goes like a man look we know you did it but it’s okay I don’t I don’t think you’re a killer I think you did it on accident which is some of the cops always do and then I got to do. I don’t even know what you’re talkin about then the cop blurts out if you don’t know about this girl I’m going to tell you something I don’t know anything about her she had brittle bone disease
amazing the guy is like yeah
that was her Bowser like me to class
trying to get this guy out like like
we’re doing a little like choke play and then she took me and there’s no marks because of my bones aren’t brittle and then I thought I’d made that clear to the guy who are you taking Lada should catch way more people than they do here or is it or is it 40% maybe I just told one we fingerprinted you it doesn’t look like you were at the crime scene but we know that you have AIDS now
because the person that you think
it also it’s 1981 and there’s no it’s like it’s there still a lot of misunderstandings about the illness and Technology he’s got a little alligator that he made out of fabric really fast
dad is going to fake Rubik’s Cube

all right is so my house has been spider gas while I was out I bought this house and it’s filled with spiders spider guess sounds terrifying apparently there’s different gas cuz it was like if the if I have cockroaches and spiders and I call the spider gas guy to the Cockroaches like to smell this gas and go like it fukk those guys like good for dried milk puddles for us I don’t think it was a real actual infestation but I must have I have a really good assistant and like I think I just I just I was like this place is filled with spiders and spider last night while I was in the desert for Thanksgiving but then the guy said something after he would not spider gas your place if if if they were up front about this part
the guy said by the way it doesn’t just magically make the spiders all instantly die like you will see a few spiders over the next couple days maybe even more than usual because they’ll be fleeing for their lockets
chill
Josey Wales spiders spiders spiders they’re like pulling at your leg desperately in Brandon Lee in the crow like a lightning flashes and they’re still had their like nice try
I like like like you want to join a try that again like you just wake up covered in webs in there and they’re in there like they’re they’re they’re at coughing up blood a little spider hankies but it’s like they still do shit that spiders normally don’t do because they fear repercussions
their long-term thinkers spiders the inventors of the web
owls are wise Elephants Never Forget spiders incredibly patient
long-term thinkers you don’t want to piss them off
that’s kind of cool that’s like as a human if you were hungry you could just make a plate and wait
yeah that’s what they do but then they also you know every spider with you walk through that’s like a 10 like there’s only one in ten chance that you’re actually walking through a uninhabited spider web because they they spend one and they wait and then they have to decide when it’s like when do blame the web when the blame the location they just glaze go and do another one and so that’s why I have webs and stuff cuz the spiders are always working there now do you understand why
we are only on episode 360 were down to talking about the patience of spiders
at The Leverage cops can we do by life brittle bone disease
is that even real and if it is in your offended don’t jump up and storm the stage and blame us
yeah
if you put down just became a p s a
we were
so high right now yeah
we should name a strain after the end of this show yeah
I thought it was I thought it was like you really are that high
we’re talking to Brandon Johnson is the only man that so high is the only man I’ve ever seen walking around with a snake in his hand trying to beat up a stick stick had it coming so we can start to share some favorite favorite memories of of the show or I can get your advice on whether I should get an 8K TV
because I feel like I feel like 4K is enough. I just 1080p the more images of sweater the blue
an on I-5 is happening
jerking off on microphone
okay so do you think I should get an IT cake
because I feel like I don’t know what do you want it the most expensive peanut butter
yeah but not not a not a phony peanut butter that’s like like like this peanut butter makes you fly by then and I because I think when you get up to 8K resolution your kind of buying a liar as a certain point does the human eye incapable of seeing Beyond a certain resolution and I feel like watching watching old movies on really high resolution makes it look like it’s like a reality show don’t do that stop it I want Dan to go to the second question is my second question
yeah thank you sir
emotionally emotionally yes because you’ve used harmontown as your vehicle to kind of go through
catharsis into therapy when the stop sign are you going to miss what you get out of this or are you going to be happy to throw them in the garbage but but you know there’s a difference between missing something in regretting maybe you should get a little what
they just took a shet I think you did what was the reason that you said they gave us.
I see you brought that country western singer up here and went on stage to sing a song in The Green Room yeah we are going to keep doing the show until then we start doing this why do you bring up the Robbie fulks coming on stage I just answered your question that was that was the night that you killed the show he said it’s your fault Jeff Jeff Jeff Jeff Jeff
he says it’s your fault
fuck white why is that why is that why you why you need to know why why why why why can’t it be
answer answer the question 28 answer my question answer my question what was your question why can’t it be his fault
because he was just a guest right
why didn’t book them
oh shit you didn’t look over my Google he’s here tonight you didn’t book him we ran into each other and he came out there is open mike Eagle ban in effect on the show you defied it
oh shit this is I’ll find out we have a closed open mike Eagle Palisade
yeah it’s a close my Google the Robbie fulks episode was it long after the decision was made at the shop but why do you bring that was the reason I just having the show be fun and not going to have to do it like a deposition about why I chose the kill it I mean I think there’s a lot of answers to that question I don’t but I don’t think either one coming up
I think that right after I think I am
from what would you call it a stylistic perspective but I don’t think that’s quite the word either but I know that one answer but it’s probably maybe like 10% of the evolved the reasons is just the whole kind of like
moving from a world as we have during the eight-year run of the show from where the internet was a place you hidden from The Real World to the internet for better for worse now the real world and and and a whole generation went from being 12 years old to whatever 12 + 8 is
I didn’t come to LA to do math
but honey
thank you
they were born online and the world is online and as an end and as such because of all of the social changes and things like it’s sort of like this idea of me playing myself for the character like I think I’m at a Crossroads at 46 having done this for almost a decade and really have been doing that for 25 years don’t let you know what happened me today I’m going to tell you the whole thing so if you have a complaint is type my name in the internet tweet me and and if you if I do something wrong with me fucking destroyed my life because my life is that thing was like for 20 years was like yeah that’s cool and easy to cuz I’m lazy doing that as a real choice to make now like like moving for

heard from this if I could if I kept advertising myself as like this is my show this is my name this is the name of the person I was born here is all of the things about me and other things like I become a brand like moving forward from here until we hit the Tipping Point of everyone’s online and everything that is online as part of a constant conversation about where everyone stands and what you’re going to do about it and it’s almost like I don’t like being who I am but at the same time I personally wouldn’t continue to listen to a guy in a podcast go like yeah but what about me because it’s just not that I wouldn’t be my choice anymore I wouldn’t I wouldn’t continue to find it therapeutic because like it’s just like I would have to either like wilfully compartmentalize my pride from the
narcissism and all this stuff like put all these parts about me against themselves only for the end goal of having a podcast or I can like let the podcast kind of drift away while I continue this process of letting like who I am kind of like disentangle and like sort itself out because I don’t mean this with the utmost respect like I don’t want to be the best-case scenario is is is is Joe Rogan right like you’ve you’ve got a billion people listening to you you’re everything that you say is like a like I don’t I don’t want to be a brand I don’t want to stand for things by being having been born I don’t I don’t want I don’t want to be like I just said Dan Harmon saying that principal like I want to like I want to make own a gun and be liberal and you calculate I want to like do all kinds of like parrot
popsicle things and it’s like and I don’t want to have to think about when I’m doing them like how I’m going to like figure out how to sell them
again that is one big bucket that’s like 10% of the reason there’s a bunch of a I just I don’t know I just think who wants to who wants to start sucking like nothing shows has never been good I just spent a bit but I don’t know who the show ever lasted more than seven weeks I like about the fact that it wasn’t for more than seven years is crazy like I’ve met so many people that have flown from my the people here tonight that came from all of her like the planet and there’s a weird
relationship of people have that the people have gone through depression or illness or injury and they have a connection to the show that that is why I don’t understand because we just got up here and just kind of fuck about like the grass is just silly and it and no maybe for you or me or like for Spencer or you know what kinds of people that we brought up on stage Trump
Brandon talked about 2 but there’s people that were have a for me like I don’t really understand the connection that people have that people are really sad that is ending because they went through like psychological stuff and the show had a an impact on it and if I don’t get it I was listening
did the show the podcast last week and I don’t know if you listen to the show last week Jeff but the end of the show last week just evolved into all of us screaming over each other
nnnn like who
who doesn’t know us
I want to turn it off over the years.
a giant man is wide on stage in his texting on his phone in the background of the stage I got to warn me about shit like this
what do you think humans are giants.
Nick is on stilts back here that is really terrifying I think he’s just a giant man don’t trip on the cable I don’t like it I do not like it but I don’t want to be buying I don’t really want to be liked by
hi Big Bang teaser Big Joe
that is this what is going on what’s Happening
is Chase open my Vegas
I think you should stage dive
see how far we can get hey hey guys sorry I was trying to get to the the popcorn
it’s still up in the front is already there
I don’t do well with stairs so that’s going to happen
team like a classic, I’m here with the tallest man in the world
yeah I love you and hope we are looking like normal sized extremely call name
now I’m hearing about the tallest Fierce that’s to look up all yes he’s tall daddy white shoes and khaki pants that say I’ll stand over you
he’s working real magic with a picture
if you can’t work and still doubt definitely throw money at you, I was talking about hard gold coin can I get more Brandon in the monitors please
can we raise the monitors up for fish place
Danny or anything
mommy I’m here with the world’s tallest man which is a one-for-one an alarm for 4 world’s oldest band so we’re as well as the world’s oldest band we would talk about the things you’ve seen throughout history and do like historically contextual kind of one-liners I guess we’re just going to stick to just like height I hate I hate trees you must have gotten quite a few arguments with with with specific species of tree branches
I love light poles
no one telling machine
this is good for a audio podcast right now
for $5 you can watch the last episode of 5 and 7
I say is it hard for a fellow like you to enjoy the company of women
I am way into the crowns of heads
he’s your daddy
the worst episode of laughing I’ve ever seen there must be quite a few places you’re not allowed
being that tall yeah that’s am together
what’s it like down there
look who’s back
it’s pretty average I’ve definitely more than six
you know I don’t normally a bad interviewer and also it’s bad improper to ask questions so I don’t know call her.
alright alright honey I’m very happy to be here then Jeff all the crew thank you guys so much
Nick Rutherford College man
I hate the shoes the most
they freaked you out a little bit his feet or that they got regular size hand size 47
no thanks
he looks like a like a like I’m looking at him with a fisheye lens music answer but it’s always true like works all the time I have to pay for things all the time and it’s the only way I make money or things to get money no I have to make music to make money to pay for things okay

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