Episode 361: Nanjianimax

Episode

Episode 361: Nanjianimax

Description

The gang gets back together one more time to catch up on everything since the show’s finale. Special guests: Rob Schrab, Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V. Gordon!

Transcript

Various computer California
Tell everybody it’s me your account total just be Davis I’m sitting in a virtual Double Down Saloon in Las Vegas Nevada because if I could go somewhere not Catch Co but I would certainly go there to catch all manner of a social disease I’m very happy to be here with you all thank you so much everyone who bought tickets the the the outpouring of support for this has been very magical and I am I getting a little tear it up a little bit you know what and nostalgic just romantic Daydreams and and sunshine and rainbows and lollipops I think there’s only one thing to do and let’s bring out your game master you know him you adore him you want to nestled inside him like like a like a like one of those Russian dolls at your game master nestling me bitch
what’s up baby how’s it going yes you got it you have the required amount of paper towels but in back there in case if she get really fucking Gus while tonight that you are ready on on cleanup Patrol Duty
you going to clean up to anything to cleaning up their dispenser in the picture behind me the men’s room here at the drawing of the devil down in in Las Vegas Nevada the happiest place on the bar and not the not the city the toilet paper is on a very heavy chain and it’s the toilet paper so gross you’d rather just not use it on the paper at space at the launch of our new podcast
I’m getting a price we should get Danny to come on what are you doing the show and he is the mostest of the shows this spring at the mayor of harmontown
I’m sorry Mister Batman we’re looking for sorry
I am the Knight Bus with an n and a k it works both ways I am the night and both ways
I just found this in my closet
it’s me it was me the whole time why did you have that where’d you get that I my new assistant Clara when she did this closet and she was asking me what your dream closet is like I would want to I want to be like Bruce Wayne when I you know when I go into my closet in the morning I don’t want to feel like like I’m getting ready you know what to do important things and stuff so she did a bunch of cool stuff out of the closet but then it kind of Eva Flores she put a bath towel up on one of the shelves and that’s the first time it’s been used and they’re probably closed blocks the stuff I can I heat myself up a little bit if you want
lighting wise I just noticed lately that there’s waits in his closet that they shoot straight down so when they’re on everything becomes very shadowy so I hope this is appropriate you look great sitting in a closet full of clothes and that you if you’ve gone with the Svengoolie t-shirt you’ve kept it simple well it’s not yeah it’s tragically it’s one of the few shirts if it’s me comfortably now
yeah yeah yeah that’s that’s that’s the same with my dress shirts and my suits I bought suits and Son shirts over the years at varying varying stages of a beer belly so I’ve gone back to like or like like early to like 2,000 some breaking up some old some old some old classics on my pants fit basically I just have like a rotation of athletic shorts now and like nothing else that I have his bottom where it fits it’s a it’s a real issue it’s no good you know what’s been sad about the pandemic is how little I’ve been affected by a it’s like well this was what my life was like and actually that is profoundly sad that’s kind of like sadder than like it feel like I can’t go to the gym like I used to it’s like no this is this about normal have the same basic amount of contact with people you know and it’s like me and my life is just disgusting an empty and if it ever comes back
why should you know turn away from that pathetic lifestyle and try and live lead a fulfilling life going forward and then so that kind of ironic I stopped doing a lot of the stuff that I was doing pre-pandemic that would be totally pandemic compatible like working out on Instagram and stuff like that like that everything just fell away cuz I got a I think I think I just kind of went into a low-energy motor something but I’ve been feeling I’ve been feeling a comeback he could just go in Cycles & Stuff
yeah yeah well this is the show folks I mean but it’s what it always was just people hanging out not really there’s nothing nothing good about it do you have any France built up from years off or are you getting those out in like the writers room or
over the last two bones to pick or I don’t really I don’t really have anything I’m really sorry to tell you that but that’s good news for our guests because then we went up that they don’t have to wait through some kind of like supposed monologue that I had one thought about it like you know I don’t even think this is going to track but I I I I I I I keep joking with Cody like
wait what where you going to do leave me you know like during the pandemic like it’s it’s kind of like and then I think it’s a very real thing that I keep thinking like you know you got to get out in front of the pandemic ending because there’s going to be it’s going to be like this picture of the street will be filled with pandemic suitors like it’ll be kind of almost a reverse Ulysses saying when it’s just going to be all of these horny guys like flooding the streets and in kind of like they’re going to know that they’re making call out so I got a City full of mistreated women like you know languishing indoors and not being able to go to bars and hit on people and stuff and do all of those people are going to like run into the streets like like milk and honey and then said I think I think now is the time if you’ve been kind of taking
your lover for granted you should probably start pretending the pandemic over in terms of how many times a week a shower and stuff like that
yeah I let myself go I put a suit on when I do one of these shows but I’m generally I’ve been wearing the same pair of jeans I think since March and I put a suit on very very seldomly usually it’s just for things like this and it’s the first time since I was like a little boy that I actually blew one of the knees out in my jeans I have ripped jeans now apparently I’ve gone to Scott Baio status during the pandemic end it’s not good
is to a liquor stores in chapter that I don’t even think they’re happy to see many more I think they feel bad for me I walk in and keep getting more fernet-branca and then like yeah it’s okay if I can go to the gym and maybe you know somebody I don’t I don’t go anywhere and I don’t. There’s that there’s lots of people out there that are just kind of splitting the difference I guess there cuz they’re going places and doing stuff
I think I think I was exposed to it very early on could Laura my ex-girlfriends and a very good friend still alive we were in Italy together and we thought that she got really sick and we thought that she had West Nile fever not West Nile virus from West Nile fever and now looking back on it cuz it was December or January and January in Italy which became an instant hot spot for a for covid-19 symptoms were absolutely covid symptoms and then I was with her the whole time so I think I was exposed to it and with a symptomatic and didn’t never you know I didn’t really ever have it so I’m kind of bullet proof of course I’ve been helping elderly people in old folks home since I thought about April I’m still confused about the rules though like my understanding of it even pre vaccine
is Wolf don’t get it. Don’t risk getting it like like when people are like well if I get it all just I don’t care I should have a right to know it’s not about you it’s about you being an antenna for this thing is going to kill an old woman you don’t know and but my big question is what what wait wait what’s with the with the vaccine like if you get the vaccine I still I still don’t understand if I get vaccinated tomorrow can I still give can I still carry the virus and then give it to other people or still get sick because that’s pretty much identical and not getting a vaccine as far as the vaccine is supposedly just kind of pretend prevents a worse version of the illness so you could still get still sick you could still be taken out for like months but you probably won’t end up at the hospital and and have death I don’t even know how clear it is on like whether yourself for a long-term effects like one damaged or whatever I owe you might still even get that
it’s definitely not ideal but it it’s supposed to help prevent death which is the best you know the biggest thing but you can see wrong about the vaccine but I’ll come in later and talk about it because I’ve read a lot about this okay I love to be I think we should bring a couple of things to say about that when you guys are ready when you guys are ready we’re just going to finish this segment we’re just going to grab you guys are doing great we love you guys. I just wanted you to know I’ve done what I wanted to say on the show so I’m out later Guys Like a Bird on a Wire that fucking guy and why don’t we bring out some of our guests and good old-fashioned fashion looks bring out
how do you introduce Rob schrab I just I think he just say Robert Is Here everybody buckle up your holyshit belt
oh damn
bro you’re going to weigh in on the science of trans transmission after having the vaccination yes it’s it’s don’t do it
I’m leaving again I can’t wait for people to try to tell me hey we really need you to come into work so do you date of the suggest pretty sure I don’t you don’t need me to come into work snow days are thing of the past for school
are like so like the Dead the days of kids waking up in the morning and going and we’ll see you at the at the same time that’s just a little guess we get to do 40 more minutes of math snowboy
I grew up in La we had smog days we never had snow days obviously I never days with a smog was so bad that you weren’t weren’t allowed to leave the classroom because you might I don’t know like get mesothelioma I don’t know the fact it was a lot of dragons
why do dragons make the audience with me everything you can get out of me in that short amount of time is that just bring on the star to turn on your mic all your video and be doing bits in the background that I was I was sitting on my hands I had a couple openings and I was like nope I got to do it did you see my note in the chat room here like I said like I think you should start doing some some bits in the background like a cobra he’s good that’s a lie
I only had one bit prepped and I just did it and everybody just fucking
gas little bit what was the bit I didn’t say this is the storage Emmys here like them trees is like they’re like a like a like a lot of like second grade trophies from like like like in a little league and stuff like that come on it was good everybody dance
maybe I need to get back out in the streets for my comedy to work I think that it’s amazing that your beard has grown almost perfectly to reach the edge of your your eyes are best for you if you can take it off and I don’t know what it might let your bed till after like the like take the thing that’s when it when I put my shirt on in the morning it’s kind of funny cuz I get Spencer looks like right now I’m used to having that long of a beard and it looks like he’s tucked it in is a blue screen jumpsuit how long was it the whole thing that is longer than my back hair beard beard
right I guess I told you it’s Rob would take over fuck off you know everybody I want you to take it with that Batman mask I don’t I want to say I don’t care but I do
you really creeped it with the Batman mask it’s like we did you queef the Pod Ukrainian baby you really creeped in church on that one man wear as you should have been shredding the Gnar you queef to the bed
you know guys our next guest would you be podcast gets even if they weren’t the George and Martha Washington of our podcast they’ve they’ve got reunions value and regular guests value because their prolific their hot stuff there
a dammit fucking people are paying for this well I guess I decided that we would you guys want to do this for Union cuz I think people would enjoy it there was no question about who the first people I would ask to have guest on the show and here they are I love them and that’s certain that you do to Emily V. Gordon and Kumail nanjiani everybody hello
look at all these beautiful faces are you guys going to Emily you look like you just emerged from a very successful eighties like rock video you look fantastic and I was on the motorcycle I was shaking around I did some stuff on a hood rat your hair is tremendous you got this gazi lighting and very is working with your hair
I wasn’t sure.
It’s not a dream anymore dream lightly are you guys in the same time zone as us and each other she’s right over there on the trail that we you know we were like boxes and the background is in its written sarcastically I can do is Grecian construct a guy with no shirt on with a man bun and cheese and some that are my new friend say sorry to butt in on the vaccine thing I feel like there has been
it’s been communicated so badly so poorly so the vaccines are really really really really good people should take them they haven’t like finish the studies yet but the sign says that when you have the vaccine do likely will not spread and then came out today and it’s really studied at that 90% reduces translated by 90% And they’re going to peer review I feel pretty confident that once you get this fax in Yukon spread the virus either they neutralized if it’s not just that you don’t have the effects of a U-joint it’s not just that you don’t get the symptoms of it you it kills the virus and what is a 95% effective that means the other 5% that got it had very mild cases and nobody ended up in the hospital out of like tens of thousands of people when they say serious case that was somebody who has fever for a week
he’s saying is true but also now you see why we had to get divorced and then go find me millions of doses I’ve got five 3 and we didn’t deserve it it’s kind of a fortunate thing that the disease dropped during the administration of the fake news guy and that the
problematic portion of our little Melting Pot like the kinds of people that even before like way back in the way back we used to laugh at them because they were anti-vax lake is kind of nice that they were put in a position where they had to be like what disease and then do because now the vaccine rolling out which is going to end up with if we be not going to work right for everybody it’s cuz there’s going to be like big-time like
like like to eat near it’s a life-saving vaccines that now has to be rolled out in the time of crisis in like it could have been a real political like like catastrophe if it weren’t for the fact that I kind of got the free laughed and I don’t know sometimes I think it’s nice having all that stuff works something like 50% of people eligible to get the vaccine or refusing it so it’s not like this miracle roll out of everyone’s buying into it right now because of the time they’re going to take their back to you I just ate I don’t make sure quite what I’m saying I was hoping maybe you guys would take it and turn it into a smarter thought I’d do some sort of like an information campaign about it which they didn’t even feel like there’s been not enough I do I feel optimistic that as more people get it and we don’t have side effects
go down and people speeds effective That vaccine hesitancy will end but Emily’s right there should have been more work like a these vaccines a really really good instead of when you get the vaccine you still going to wear a mask when he speaks really quit the back when it comes to do like the ER on this roll out the bed
American workplace yeah where do you want to play in the Renaissance they had those special like bird Beach shaped sings for the ladies that were like they were they were filled with lilac and other herbs that were supposedly filtering that there’s no victim you just helping the hot tub do what it does best bump to the Jets I got you I have another thought I was thinking today you know like 20 years from now even the 20 years around they probably won’t be movies & TV as we understand it vill be Holograms and Pokemons and whatever play whatever the movies and TV of Tomorrow over popular culture has and they’ll be people telling stories and they’ll be archetypes in the story like
archetype 20 years from now in certain stories will be the canceled actor from the from the early 21st century light like there will be like they’re being like these characters in like movies where I like like maybe like an older character and then they’ll be like a kind of like falling from Grace mentor and the first will be like what who are you what happened to you and then like the Call to Adventure at threshold be somebody going like that’s that’s Olivia Johnson she got canceled so it’ll be like being the point won’t be that she shouldn’t have been or should have been but the point will be that she she didn’t get to be who she was or whatever and that’s why she’s such a great acting teacher Rodger rabbit reboot will be it’s like instead of the dip it’ll be like the cancel Barrel
which means yeah you did with the squeaky shoes in the cancelled barrel and then holds back but I can live with that what the fuck you have that baby are you drinking a baby that’s like close to the camera was a huge no no it’s my water bottle O Gentle encouragement encouragement I don’t know if you can see it it’s reverse on mine but it says because I’m fucking around with you guys at the very bottom level of urinary tract infection
I haven’t know that’s not true
it is my grandmother was hospitalized for drinking too much water I didn’t even know that when you drink a lot of water you we write hello. I’m a giant tub of water is a catheter that pumps of urine right back into an assist as cyclical flow
no that’s not true you when I finish this when I finish this water when I get down to these mountains you guys are going to be so jealous I want to finish it before the end of this podcast play some best oh my God I would love for that trap your I’ll take that bet but you are not allowed to get up and leave your chair at anytime you have to pay in the seat 51 man this is going to be awkward
so do you guys open open question for the day will who identifies is an introvert vs extrovert like and in have you noticed like I surely you’ve reconciled that with the pandemic if you ever if he gone like I I am languishing here because I get my batteries charged by other people and it sucks versus you know and I was like Spencer and I were talking about I speaking for us to introverts I think like it’s not like a lot like a couple hours each day just to touch base.
the only reason we were seeing each other now is because the one extrovert here decided we needed to do a reunions show cuz he’s like it was the fucking guy
literally your best friend okay cuz that might be cuz I don’t know if Emily Emily and Kumail like I wouldn’t know between the two of you like if what if either of you or like me if you wait until he’s on the right
Emily what do you say hi and that I like you and social stuff but it makes me very tired and so similarly to Spencer my life and I do most of my work at home to my life did not change a lot when they started the only thing that changed was me being like I guess I should like schedule a lunch with some friends cuz I think of everything like the stems but I’m like regular contact you did so silly so you trying to force yourself to do that like like like to have the playdate stuff we haven’t seen anybody yeah we don’t see anybody but myself and I would still enjoy it like but like it would be like I wasn’t a thing that my heart was like I’m yearning for a lunch with a friend but I would always like it when I did it I never realized how much of the part of me that would go out was doing it
for fear of authorization some kind of indirect was just thinking like I don’t want to be the person that everyone stopped inviting two things I don’t want to do it it is good or bad or healthy or unhealthy but it’s just amazing to take all of that out of a spreadsheet and how much it was like it didn’t make me instantly happy I don’t wake up everyday happier than I will probably by 10% and be your rules but he’s fine but but but just like the American like it just like weight off the shoulders like it’s kind of amazing to me and I think that’s a healthy things I don’t think my extroverted friends
what if I had ever told them that that was going on in my head the first thing they would have said his don’t do that to us or yourself don’t be thinking that stuff like like we don’t want you making calculations about whether you should come join us at a a bar and like you’re thinking about whether if if you do your life over this Earth alley goddamn we do it because we’re extroverts and we have fun and now like if the pandemic has an end to it like I can now think clearly I think about like a little more clearly about who I am and what I want and not burden other people with my bullshit about like what what I’m trying to accomplish with them
can I eat can I disagree with you on one thing there at all I said with my feelings no no no you see her saying that your that your friends probably are like no don’t do it for us I’m not like that I’m like whatever math you have to do to like come out and hang out with me I’m happy with that same what’s rob you know like I would cease Robert parties that he would want to leave early and I will guilt him into trying to stay cuz I I wanted to hang out with you guys so then I had to guess if I had to like wager on this I would say that you would have tilted slightly toward introversion because that’s most of my comedy friends tent that like like a pretty stand-up friend of mine has a little bit of an introverted part of both sides of a coin where do you follow that
I would say you know if you divide introvert by where you get energy from I get energy from being alone or with family like watching movies and stuff and and hanging out at home but I do turn into Captain party so there are some times when I’m when I used to be out where I would be like really like parties out and then I know people into staying longer in that kind of stuff so they would really it was sort of extreme right and you don’t see any you got you terrified of this thing and I I have not seen anybody really scared too but I think like Dan I make those calculations too but I think that they’re like I do it because I know it’s beneficial to me like I’m not thinking like oh I should be friends cuz I don’t want them to like think I’m not around I do have some
I know I’m going to feel better if I like hang out with someone I like I know I’m going to end this is in the before time then now I know I’m going to feel better if I like have a social interaction with someone but I’ll be damned if I’m like really tired and don’t really feel like doing it but I don’t do the calculation that like it doesn’t feel sciency to me or like medical it if it just feels like oh I know I’m going to like this but I’m not going to like it up until I get there yeah I mean we have the luxury of following are blessed in Autumn and it actually intersects with like doing the right thing during a pandemic I want to take this time to put some metals on some chest of some people that are not in that category my fiance could you know she she is whatever Andy Graham Pastor whatever you get your all your letters and stuff she’s a campaigner I don’t know if she’s a fiery charges with me we hang out in bed we do all these things but she definitely she she she gets
she gets her energy charged by other people and she and her and her friend Anna Kendrick who like both of them same boat where they’re like they’re not. They probably don’t even know who they are when they’re not like hanging out with with with with people and they regularly get tested because they have a regular hang out and then they sometimes like one of them like their test doesn’t come back because there’s a wind storm or something and whatever and they like their so committed to it that the actual sacrifice their like following their Bliss and going like what we got and we should hang out and it but as soon as I put up there as soon as there’s any test of my will I’ll probably falter I like had my friends over for election night and I stop giving a fuck with I was like I was wearing a mask when they came to the door and I had put bowls of chips 16 car and then it’s like by the end of the night
in like because I’m following my Bliss really and it’s easy to follow during a pandemic and there are people out there who are like this fucking sucks but I’m really going to do the right thing for other people and I really am really impressed by them
yeah it’s following your bliss being introverted to be okay with it was following your blessing like fuk fuk the pandemic put those chips together
what floor for an hour I just following my place is like
like I I’m I’m like lazy I’m like I’m following my Bliss will be like I was excited to set up for election night I was like do you know and we’re going to come over and I’m going to I’m going to it’s like a designing a spaceship I’m going to put the ships over here and I’m going to everybody will be able to not touch each other and the cups of the Disposable and all these things but that’s because they’re only like like there was only like you only had like two other chairs like when you invited Dino and house is too small I don’t know how cozy cozy cozy I’ve been there it’s a question of my friends were in for introverts that feel guilt it into being social because they feel like that’s the thing that you have to do to to not be ostracized or or eliminated
forgotten forgotten that they have forgotten their their introversion and their mother loved the love of staying at home as soon as they really really are like safety freaks doing the right thing now you’re loving that you don’t ever have to do shit yeah that’s what I try to call and that’s how I like when I really on when I would see people on Twitter
like questioning the quarantine and all that stuff like like my initial reaction be like you fucking dick like how dare you that’s the problem with this blah blah but I have to remind myself like Jesus Christ like a mansion this stocking for people like when have you ever done anything from Fireman that hasn’t been a fucking Blast for you if I get animation producer now it’s a pandemic and so now you can abused labor while you while you do Woodwork in your garage with a fucking Tony Stark camera system like it’s fun like if not I’m not a it is it that doesn’t mean that I’m not doing what I do for other people but I always like have to check myself and go like if there’s if there’s a person out there that’s like I mean it’s like my mind is blown by like how how many people must be just absolutely fucked in the ass
and end it in if they’re getting on Twitter and going like
you do in the in the in the interview Foolery of like people like shaming someone for not wearing a mask when they’re jogging or whatever the whatever is happening on Twitter cuz people are engaging in they’re staying in like you see some of these dinners voices come up in the others this agenda to at where they’re like just them wanting one thing or another to be true that you can get really mad at them but then I think about like oh what if what if they’re just not socialized to say this sucks for me like which the ironic thing is like if they would just say that and you see that all the time and social media when people get broken down into using their statements on accident they finally at the end of a big fight they start being personal and they say what their deal is and I was in Vietnam
why didn’t you just say that in the answer is well because I was told that was weak this is what’s really impressive about Emily and also I have like fully turtle that I am terrified like every night still I have dreams where I’m like I can’t find my math on the now every now and then there’s this nightmares of I when am I going to get the vaccine so I am very guilty like judging people and I’m not think that’s a good thing who don’t wear masks so I’m that guy but Emily will always like you like no you don’t know what their day is you don’t know what’s going on with them for Emily’s like this

Chic her empathy it feels and she is like weaponized empathy so empathetic was then she said I just want to be angry and let me have this have you get the Postmates and Cody was like you never wear your mask and you’re going to get the Postmates then I’m like oh yeah shit and I grabbed a mass to go out pick up the Postmates and I put the the guy got out of the car with the food and as he was approaching me I waved my mast at him like it was a backstage pass
I took it like a rocket blasting it like pie I was more like I’m I’m cool like I get it I just moved but it would definitely wasn’t an unconscious like attempt to block the virus particles it was an unconscious like don’t worry about it I’m like, what
don’t worry I am the man has manager let me take this with anybody but I have those and you can because you have a mask but my mask actually has the lower half of my face printed on it so I can mail this is interesting to me that year are you so are you are you are you immunocompromised and Emily is a song like
realizing I don’t know really feels like harmontown realizing you know obviously for a year now Emily and I have really spend all our time together and I feel very very lucky that I’m with someone like Emily and honestly a relationship has gotten stronger for the first time I’ve gotten some sort of inside people do a 12 years ago I expect you to come all this stuff but she still has that condition right here 14 years and I’m realizing that both of us have some sort of PTSD from it like I don’t want to lie to either people have been in War I don’t want to but there certainly is trauma associated with it and we’re realizing in this that this virus is triggering certain things for me that make me it’s kind of a bad thing it sounds like I’m like ultra-protective a Gravely to the point where it’s not healthy for either
and I’m so disappointed that Mike has really like I woke and I woke and a lot of stuff and I realize we’ve realized that the work that needs to be done yeah that’s Cody is the Kumail in the in this relationship cuz I’m I’m immunocompromised I don’t have the I knew early on I knew that that word was going to be like the new Autistic or whatever where it’s like your nana is like people people self applying it we’re going to be I don’t know I was like I bet I better not tell anybody but like I I’m in a category of person that if I get this thing like I could be one of those people that that it you know that that eats it and I did not die early as four numbers that
if that was a quote from him like I just realized like why he said that cuz it was like he
the narcissism West to get around to things that are bigger than it like you have feel like you have to be anything but absorbed by something so he’s like I could be one of the day when I was like I could be one of the people in this category the shall we say terminates but it’s it’s it’s the truth in my for my doctor it’s like I can’t get this thing and I don’t have the same 99% whatever chance and I told that to Cody early on and she’s been I mean that’s just you know she’s just living in this world she just put that in her head and is just living like that in the funny thing is like it’s the same way I think with similar to you and Emily because I now look at my behavior and I’m like you don’t give a shit if you get this thing you’re just hanging out but now I’m remembering like I was like researching
witches and things I was like dude I was genuinely terrified
Cody’s bike trying to keep me alive and then I sidled into this leg you know what like what is just made people exactly like I do go to a vaccine do you do Emily and Dan do you get the vaccine be earlier because of your condition I don’t want to hear ya I assumed you were telling me you like, you can do this or not and I keep going to go and why don’t you want I will because I keep thinking like I’m I’m not going anywhere anyway the bars not open down the street I can Kemal last he’s so disgusted with my baby better I truly it’s so selfish I just realized like I should be getting the vaccine for fucking Cody so she can relax
what’s the dividend and you’re not getting the vaccine because if you got that I’ve seen people that they have to say then you have to come into work just leave a little part of me is like I don’t want to go stand in line with a bunch of people that probably have covid-19 part of it is like I didn’t I mean I’m glad Kumail was a guest tonight and could fill us in on the fucking like actually just across the board vaccine is like I was looking at the vaccine is being is confusing thing that was like I thought it was for Baby Boomers to like keep them from literally dying in that was basically it was like a like a plug at the end of the herd immunity now it’s for everybody I don’t like for teenagers and kids I don’t know I don’t know for like four people who are pregnant to her or anything like that but but this is these vaccines are above and beyond what we had hoped
we had hoped for 70% efficacy he’s a 95% like a 95% doesn’t mean that I’m going to have This Cowboy’s me again what happens is if people are just like they’re part of the studies to have to go get the vaccine have people don’t the people don’t get the vaccine 20% per cent of them get covid test the Baseline so 95% means it’s not 95% of 100 is 95% of 20% of the number of people who get it is it by 4 that it’s much smaller than a 1%
I think Emily and Anna and Camille I’m at I don’t want to be like like a dick but I’m just saying if one of you doesn’t get it we got a sequel to Big sick we got big sick too and that’s going to be if I can you guys are really inappropriate
well we will win that Oscar if I get another, all I got to do another called me out for me if Emily does go to another, Camille you could play best fiends that’s friends without an our best fiends it’s a new game sorry I just I hear they have thousands of levels predicted every always finding more I’m telling you Trisha and marketing has been playing at you she loves taking care of her little worm baby having it more than I am is it arrival. You may not leave the seat until they feel it coming
so I finally started I used Warby Parker because there’s a pandemic and I I needed new glasses so I got my I need a far prescription in the clothes prescription sew a pair of glasses came and they put them on and everything in the distance was blurry and then I and everything up close was clear so I labeled them well it says great a label to close and then I realized what are you doing cuz I don’t know the words on her but I label mine because because you can’t see him like they don’t they don’t come all the same time if you need multiples in the next ones came and I put them on and everything was blurry and then I put my hand in front of my face and it was
clear and I already lost these somewhere it was like wait a minute the other ones are the far ones that’s crazy that I labeled them clothes and oh my God I got to find those and blah blah blah and then I finally found them and I put them in there the same prescription Warby Parker sent the same prescription for both things or they Parker so I said to my sister I said clear they sent the same they sent to closes and she she texted me back and said they they admitted their mistake they looked the records They said that yeah sorry we sent you the same ones but their records show them is sending you two of the far ones
is it was really funny sorry this is what you get pandemic harmontown the far ones Warby Parker you bastards buy Warby Parker I think that was a bit I was like people like that and then that reminded me of Warby Parker and you guys you guys know I love cereal but I’m getting up in years and I can’t handle that sweet stuff that’s why I love magic spoon you know they only have 2 net carbs and no grams of sugar but it tastes just like the serial I knew and loved growing up in childhood they now have six flavors they have fruity blueberry Cuoco frosted and now they have these new flavors cinnamon and peanut butter I like the peanut butter you know they actually
ran out of peanut butter and it but now it’s back in print they printed cereal now that use my throat is so the nutrient nutrient paste peanut butter is this a real they have fruity and blueberry and blueberry brother will do a backdoor sponsorship here by being so good at doing a unsolicited ad that he’s going to get free we we love by the way and we’re very aware that they ran out of peanut butter it was a most exciting to me
magic spoon early Sunday with all built on Nazi gold so you got to take you can take the good with the bad on that one I do not see gold I don’t know if you can say that Instagram ads for the place cuz we all know the blue aprons in the wet not like they deliver the meals in the meals are kind of like they’re ready to go and but their ingredients and then you put them together but now it like evolved into this new thing that’s like I’m so tired of a program where it’s always on my Instagram is being advertised is just like these young people are like
I can’t believe no one ever thought of this before in like it’s literally just frozen dinners like coming to their house like and they because they’re like a who has time to cook with blue apron already prepared and it was frozen and you can put it in your freezer and make their advertising all of the merits of like imagine if they were already and you could just put them in your freezer and then you pull them out when you leave them Frozen and it tastes exactly like Chipotle TV dinner because I don’t like that they’re going to I mean you can’t you got to clean up in their face more than ever before
and in the pandemic I’m just like coming up with witty retorts in and fun little jokes in the Facebook comments of ads it’s great with a with a Anonymous Twitter account that has a hundred followers like the thing that first of all like the joy that I never even remember to have like two likes three followers like I’m like oh my God no wonder this world is fucked like if you have a hundred followers on Twitter and you’re nobody like your fucking upset but you get sucked in the the biggest hugest burst of Hearts than I got on Twitter with me saying some dumb-ass snarky thing in response to a fucking ad
it’s a great how many years has like 50 or something and I with my mind exploded Elijah and I are taking off I could be somebody one day or like yeah you could be cancelled like you and I because you’re a pedophile like waves like it’s funny to like I’m prestiging with Twitter like I’m playing like level zero. I don’t want the rocket launcher I want like I want to experience like actual Twitter where I’m I can just like call a hillbilly hillbilly and I have no fucking worry about I’m just thinking of you dumb fuck struggling I think Rob needs to hit the head
well if you’re going to hours then yeah we don’t have to keep going I mean I don’t know how long it’s supposed to be a virtual background you can just take us into the bathroom I guess and the prophet has the story about how you helped peeing in your pants liberated you you usually a Liberation now it’s just everyday
how far is a sightseeing is so fucked man like it’s the worst I really like the worst I hate it but I can’t I don’t know where you’re going I might as well I tried those and that’s like it seems crazy to have to read like this and then look at things like this I tried it and I don’t ya
we did go that’s the one such that I left the house for that that’s since the election night that was my own like saying coming up and it’s it’s been a controversial like I’m just like oh constant headache probably need to get those eyes checked we made an appointment and I’ve been a tyrant and made her reschedule it and then now it’s happening next weekend I just remembered that and big 6-2 is going to be a big head
OK Google play Jason Derulo
don’t go don’t go to the optometrist
you guys know Randall Park right yeah you know he has it and I’m not I don’t I don’t want to I’m going to I’m going to leave out details so that he doesn’t end up get his personal life doesn’t end up getting affected by this but I think he has a twin brother that works at a Optometry place are you sure they’re twins are you sure are you sure they were Twins and job is that what you mean because the joke was there like a he he was like he was working at this place and then he was like
and I was like a God damn this dude looks and sounds like Randall Park and yeah and then he was like wait a minute what’s going on and it is like I think you know my my brother and and it was like wait a minute he’s like he’s my twin brother and I ain’t blurt it out as I can I go to the same optometrist and he tells me that story every time I go in about how Dan Harmon was so relieved he wasn’t racist that you couldn’t even write that wasn’t cuz we were like I remembered as us like leaping up and down like stuff like as if one of those won the lottery and him at the end me and Miguel
like you’re not a racist and it was like funny
strange now that he’s on one Division and like everybody in the world is watching it at the district are you researching for a roll what’s going on Tyrod know I was going to say something stupid but it has to do with eyesight I was when I went there last time Dan did you do this not the last time but like a couple times ago they put these drops in your eyes and I was like what’s that for cuz I don’t make your you not blank for like an hour and I like yeah yeah okay all right and I go home like that do you want tacos look at it getting kind of thing in there like pushing it up against your eye right cuz it makes you not want to blank or not be able to Blink not be able to Blink so your eyes are like this and they’re like
yeah I’m kind of tired I think I’ll go to bed asleep babe and they’re melting from birth until death and like because they’re melting they’re they’re becoming less than perfectly spherical and we go to these people and all right what does that look better than that but we better than that and now I noticed like now the human element is all just follow up it’s like we’re entering the concierge face that that Anthropologie guy with that wrote those books would say like pretty soon I don’t know if they’re going to need a human being there because they they’re kind of like the computer is zeroing in on what my prescription should be I don’t even know how the fuck that possible that that that’s what’s happening in because the guy that was there like running through the lenses was like
just make sure now it was like he’s working like Turner and his partners with a computer and solving cases but it is it yeah I put the weirdest thing about it is that then he said to me like well good news yet your prescription could use a little tweaking yes your vision is deteriorating it’s deteriorating the amount that it’s supposed to in this amount of time and given your age and all these other statistics like it’ll Plateau at a certain point like they just them knowing if your eyes are like ice cubes late like like ice sculptures at a party and they’re just sort of like yeah the tips of the Wings on a swan or like they should be pretty much flippers by now but the wedding receptions already started as like no one cares
your eyes are just melting in your head and appreciates as soon as you drive it off the lot for the prophet no I went to one of those laser eye places where you go in there and they’re like they fix your they just to see cuz my eyes are getting is fucked up you know like what it used to be that I can’t see what’s in front of me but I can see really good so far away but now I can’t see far away or would stand without my glasses so I went to this doctor and it’s like oh what they do is they sliced the top of your eyelid your eye not your eyelid your eye open and then they can clean that was a Q-tip and then they melted back on or whatever but people have said oh it’s great you should do it I go in there and the guys like yeah your eyes are are like it’s the
is there if you can we can do like one far away and then the other would be for a close-up so you would be like doing this all the time and I was like that doesn’t seem like a real a good use of my time and I got this
I think this is hey hey it’s working it makes me feel about you now Pastor the iconic pirate eye patch thing was not because they lost an eye in battle but because if you keep one eye in darkness and use that I when you’re above deck but if you goes below deck for any reason where it’s dark you use that I and you have perfect vision with that that’s the same thing with like a big big big big give one leg a Peg and then then the other one is also when they have to run
Rodriguez a predetermined I like it with your making people walk the plank and you have a peg leg it’s a lot easier to get them to walk the plank cuz they’re like you also if that’s the reason why they only have one parent because they only wear one parent on one shoulder and then see the other shoulder never needs crackers with pirate there was always a reason their skeletons when we dig them up it appears as though they only had one because they help people people died on their side
the upper parrot is exposed to a county has been debunked
Rihanna
he’s taking it to cheapies everybody really pictures being overtaken by a fucking death stranding hashtag hashtag to gpp tonight
that’s amazing I do love his I do love his CNN travel show because I don’t live all travel shows by anybody that gets to go travel and eat good food S deli turkey is very Charming I kind of enjoy him walking around and eating a pizza and you go out I would like to have that pizza was Stanley Tucci
Chinese man
oh boy I’m sorry I wasn’t did you know that your eyes don’t grow the size when you’re a bore and your eyes are the size that they are for the rest of your life Buck yep that’s my baby’s eyes to be. Big big big beautiful eyes on the East Coast it’s 9:11. I’m just I’m just I’m not bailing on the bed it’s disrespectful to the audience I got distracted cuz I was like oh man if I if I put a image of Randy Quaid like up in the night and put up a Randy Quaid
show ourselves out here I didn’t get a single bit of love for us after Kemal and Emily had talked about him being a captain party I just doing this for a long time I got nothing I gave you a thing of all Captain party maybe it’s were all like the teaching each other for fucking bitch what’s in there really find kinlaw’s together went the trolley ding ding ding went to bed just throwing them in there well what it what is with everybody watching
what’s the altitude we got really into do you know musical Jeff I feel like you would know them we’ve got really into Gene Kelly when everything’s been here right and it’s like life is changing and I washed it two nights ago cuz TCM had it on again so good just reference Judy Garland from Meet Me in st. Louis and I don’t think anybody your man baby Emily knew what it was, but it makes them straight but I make no case for it seemed so far what are the best one to be seen
okay what else on the town I was going to be like what’s the one where they’re out on the town Anchors Away between that one and it has dairy in it right the little cartoon mouse
yeah cuz Gene Kelly dances with Jerry the mouse and that’s that’s Jean and Frank and I’m cranking on the other characters that one’s a good at everything Cabaret
no we really want to see Cabaret Cabaret it is absolutely freak out about a year-and-a-half ago I took acid by my side the way a lot of musicals Have Not Season them for some reason
bring Jay-Z came for Hitler and I’ve only ever done acid in small quantities I’ve never gone like going to shoot trip I I won’t say I recommend it because I don’t want to push you no drug use on the children and I know a lot of our viewers are young’uns however if you have the opportunity do a little acid and watch Cabaret it’s a fucking free couch I had to hit pause after the opening number like this movie lives inside my brain for the rest of my life is very very good the last called All That Jazz and it’s a movie where I can buy Bob Fosse about the life of papaya seed in the whole movies about women trying to fuck him and his biggest problem is all women want to do
fuck him when he’s an adult doesn’t matter when and where I was going to recommend that as an anti Musical and that’s a real good and rice writer is tremendous has more drug use in that and then we have to have and also if you want to go also on a musical trip Pennies from Heaven with Steve Martin Bernadette Peters and Christopher Walken to the tap routine striptease that is worth watching pressing where everybody is you know like basically we’re all decaying all dying having to take place I understand that for post-bac seen the miniseries with Sam Rockwell is really good I mean I got 50 if you were into like all that jazz are or like Cabernet or anything like that he chose like the making of it and they’re real
really it’s really great it’s really cool there is a scene that I’ve watched a million times Gene Kelly dances with a a peasant Mexican girl in the Olvera Street and he thinks he’s lost his girl to Frank Sinatra he doesn’t know that it’s not the case he thinks he’s losing the girl to his friend and he’s like you know what good for him and he’s heartbroken and he sees a little peasant girl play not by a Mexican girl it’s actually the white girl and dark makeup but they do a dance with you know what I can’t have her so I’ll dance with this child that song makes me cry that number make me cry every time it’s just good okay that’s nice then that’s what I do
Fred and ginger musicals are always good like yeah we watch the Viva Las Vegas that was a ton of fun I don’t know that
call Margaret weird with a car crash we’re at least four people are murdered and then there’s the race is absolute there is in the car and going to correct you there she’s not wearing short shorts she’s just wearing pantyhose as fucking pants hanging out in a sweater and pantyhose like on fire at yeah probably good movies are like I mean what bat movie anyways my name is not true about all the men I haven’t seen Clambake but
do the garbage but like how many other elements other than the things that make a movie Garbage if they’re all slid up to 1010 the movie be good like I’ve always wanted to cuz I’m like like everything about Xanadu like it seems determined to make this movie Bad like it doesn’t have all these fundamental things that a movie supposed to have but then it has all of these like it is just like all these other Giles have been turned up to 10 in it yeah I like a good movie but I’m having a blast out if there was like a lot of influence there because there’s the there’s the Montage that represent Ann-Margret and Elvis falling in love and it’s like a montage of like
what about teleportation time travel like they’re just like they’re just like cowboys and spend the day together be like Well Visit near Lake shooting each other in an Old West Town and there’s no explanation for it is very much like in Xanadu when it’s like they have a spin justification for it was like oh I’m getting to know you and like what’s rollerskate through this place where records are made which of course involves like all of it you can hit a button and these things will come down and blow fog at you and then you’ll turn into a cartoon bird it just goes to show you it doesn’t fucking matter the kind of in and out of like like we don’t hold up wait a minute why are they falling in love like like like movies that movies that can hold themselves to an internal logic only insult Us by trying to make it about their playlist on Spotify and they’re like the 90s version of that where they’re like
like the Pixies I like the Pixies and then it’s like oh so that’s supposed to make me believe that you take a bullet for her that’s your version and before that it was just like a weird dancing you know and that’s like I don’t know we’re not going to bother trying to show you logically why it is that you love this person we’re going to actually just Express the feelings that you have when you when you love that person really important garbage happened was that a Meltdown Comics because there’s that moment when
but you would have already had a couple camel ones before the show but then there’s that threshold where you get into complete like downhill skiing mode where it’s my favorite part of the show, Chris is the laptop when I wrote down it doesn’t mean that this is nothing but my my beautiful niece I think she’s for my needs to be whatever the nice if my fiance she’s she’s in this phase she’s been doing it for a while she loves dancing she live singing she just performed sometimes she steals her mom’s camera and she makes like little videos of herself sometimes mom is participating and moms like filming the videos will get the videos and she’ll be like dancing around and then
she’ll stay at the end of it like if things don’t go in her mind perfectly because you know she’s for so she’s she’s got some kind of job to do in her head and then I guess that’s the thing is fascinating to me is it at like like she’ll do like a little bee this video of her like jumping around the living room singing and dancing gibberish doing like this stuff is just it’s just joyful and then at the end of a show like go towards the camera
if her mom’s holding it and be like delete it in her that’s like we were just puzzling over that wears a white weight why delete it like what did she think she did wrong where she’s for like like and I just kind of like I was thinking about it today and it was like
is it not being cynical about it I think it’s an uplifting sting because I don’t think that that’s congenital I don’t think that human beings are born with shame I think that human beings are born with a like I desire to get everything right and and then were like constantly monitoring the grown-ups around us for cues about Cody pointed out in Cody’s 12 years younger than me but she and I both agreed like delete it is not in your vocabulary like when we were kids there’s nothing to delete like a god you know
God willing something that you could do would be forever whether it’s a little handprints in cement or when VHS camcorder came out and it was just like we would watch 3 hours of ourselves like rolling around in the grass there was no imp there was never back down it was on like erase that erase that and now there is for four-year-olds which I think is so interesting and not in the cynical way again I think they’re picking up on this idea that like will they know that information is now there’s a surplus of it and they’re like no no no no no delete that like there’s no reading at yeah she’s like she’s like don’t get my team is likely I think she might have gotten a reaction from her mom that maybe because she did like a little thing you know it’s like four year old to do she like she like put her
sleeve off her shoulder at the end of her dance and her mom had this reaction that was understandably losing gas because it was and I think that she interpreted that reaction from her mom at in the very moment was like you touch a hot stove you stood at the top of stairs you didn’t delete it may be because then there’s another video that is at like like where her older brother is like doing a performance and then the little sister comes in and interrupts it like she steals the spotlight and he goes delete it
I understand that that’s a tantrum that’s Orson Welles he’s going like I’m trying to make something perfect here and now you may as well throw it away that that look like deleted he was saying delete it like yeah I hate my sister like I can’t believe she came in and ruined my masterpiece that I and I was like oh I would get that if I was like that you would you would wield delete it the same way you would say like okay I don’t want to fire truck then or let you know like throwing it across the room but I like it just like I don’t think that we need to get over our shame I think that we need to accept it and realize that we have it like I were putting it into our children in like like like she doesn’t know what’s right or wrong yet she but she already knows that there’s such a thing as
what is the developmental stage of a kid at that age kind of thinks everyone knows his routine I came up with so they all realize that I fucked it up like everyone knows I fucked up this routine where is to you it looks like a random things that she’s like free like other kids I guess I don’t know her I don’t know yeah I don’t know I don’t have enough information about who she thinks is going to see the video and everyone knows everyone knows I messed up that one step so now we have to like do this again I have to delete it but really like nobody knows you’re just flailing your a child
heard me say that like I truly think that like the big I think she’s so young that I think that this is total speculation but I think that the the the primary way of her enjoying those videos is that she watches them back with her mom and I see and I think she has an Impulse embedded in her that’s like get rid of the bad one I don’t want to watch that one with you again I don’t want to witness it with you kind of thing but that’s just me simplifying something because from my view her life is simple like you said she can have a whole fucking I didn’t thought about that honestly I don’t know if four year olds like do they they know they don’t have phones but do they do they do their videos get like circulated among their
probably glad that such a scary thought that’s that’s a horrifying thought I don’t know, I’m friends with your mom and your mom texted this video of me videos of like your friends like daughter singing him stuff for yours for many years that’s right that goes just a great moment we’re so can I can I talk about this
she was a lot younger she’s five years old and she’s got like she’s got how would you sorry it’s my son’s been making a video and the first girl sings at the boat 5 like we know these kids and she’s thinking you should make up a song she’s like a leave a tree is beautiful song to kill myself
home right before she stays where that hasn’t happened to be adults at the room yet I didn’t tell her to say that it’s insane to me to our perception of children is that we’re waiting for them to let us know like what’s going on in their heads and sort of like we do perceive them as like receiving instruction from us but not on the level that we really are instructing them and not understanding that the entire time they’re all they’re doing is going they’re monitoring us at going on I don’t know what do you want for dinner at like it it is like in and then they all like we’re just going like where did you come up with that why did you just like come into the room and say that like weird Fraser everything there where you’re at it indicates that you’re upset with us and you’re being passive aggressive like you sending all these social cues but all they’re doing is like studying
your eyebrows in our total boys and they’re just they just released a giant little spongy brains that are like they’re just throbbing and going like a Spartan and I agree can I am I an Eskimo like like you tell me what culture I’m living in and what set of behaviors is going to impress you guys and I’ll fucking do it and and they’re just like mashing it buttons and then we react to them we go like and it’s sometimes us reacting like that triggers shame for them sometimes it makes them go I shouldn’t have done that and sometimes it like it’s their dopamine Spike and they go like I’m going to be a DJ like I just did this thing right like I want to be a superstar I want to blow Minds I am feeling I can read back in my memory and along those behavioral patterns and go like I learned very quickly like my parents opinion of what I was doing meant jacks

jet compared to company like if people are coming over if I can get them to react in any way my parents are going to be dragged along like like whether they like it or not they’re going to be like Sony and the company is the nielsens like I just like well I don’t get it and we told him we don’t get it in development but God damn it now it’s a hit and like I feel like I have emotional memories of that experience and I think it’s crazy that along with that comes like people are saying delete it a four-year-old going delete it delete that one that one of me stumbling around like a goofball something that when I’m 30 I would I would just drink like nectar because I only have so much time in like I’ll see baby videos of myself and I’ll be like oh my God you deleted any of them that at 4 she’s like I’m going now
turn it put it that send it to the incinerator print the that one no delete it so I won’t have anyone see that one that’s not what happened. They have the same relationship with stuffing permanent like to me like I didn’t I never even saw a camcorder till I was a teenager so I didn’t even like think about that being a possibility but to grow up with the knowledge that like it could all just like exist forever or maybe not maybe it doesn’t even mean the same thing to them do you want to mean like does she mean before it ends up on Facebook and gets me cancelled or does she mean I don’t want that to be part of goodnight mood I don’t want that to be Cannon I think it’s the latter I bet that’s what I think too.
I think the kids these days hate getting canceled and their shifts super away
we have four year old hey cancel culture is it okay if I change the subject I know I mean I think we’ve
and so I’m like very grateful to the things that I’ve liked help us get through it and one of them Rob knows this is bound crap that you may laugh I so much joy and I want to hear we’ve been watching this all quarantine in it I felt so much like genuine like gratitude watching the full of joy and fun stuff that I want to tell people if you can are they available anywhere around know I’ve been doing them just live you know it’s kind of like a went out the repeats every once in awhile but I’ll just be like 10 and I’m at 5:35 home video.com and I’ll show something Callie’s been opening the show with just playing music and Spencer and death of God of Innovator and then we roll into Clips like like what Harmon and I used to do it Center family at the theater there and then and then we do and unpack the crap
where we talked about the clips cuz people want to go where that come from and then we talked about so much
Emily and Kumail cuz I don’t watch a lot of stuff I watched I watch TCM I watch old movies mostly and I watch them the same movie a hundred times over give me something that I should be watching something new that you think that I might I might dick so much stuff it’s a little overwhelming what are we watching
sorry about my love of musical so if you guys have a documentary about love with his documentary I haven’t seen late on me
like all that documentaries are now is like murder is probably the husband but maybe not but it is not true crime I think it was Michael Jordan when he was good and I don’t like it
a bunch of crazy circumstances and characters the girl in the Dale what’s that the lady in the Veil The Lady and the Dale and it’s and it’s past they have you made it all the way through that one I just watched the first one it’s very interesting
I got is kind of like a catch me if you can kind of a person that just got to goes down a row Road of just counting Counting counting Counting counting and and gets like a moment in the sun in the 70s during like the gas crisis
and is like delivering like a this is a new car that’s going to save the world and then and then you find out a lot
I’ll wait until it’s like I’m someone trying to sell an electric vehicle and it seems like it’s some sort of Elizabeth Holmes thing where they don’t really have it I don’t know if it’s electrical it’s definitely like that but I don’t think it’s an electric car I think it’s just it has it’s a car with 3 wheels so they thought it would use less gas
at least it’s a box that tells you if you have anything just make the box and there was like other people are like the inside of the box is tricky because there’s we got it takes your blood and then it takes it inside the box of us starting these animations it’s not a drop of blood hear a live round of a bloody box and pictures that Netflix has created a new genre called this should have been a 90-minute movie documentary or not and in any case is now
a 10-episode series I am offended I am made to feel old I don’t like frankly I’m going to get canceled for saying it
here’s the thing about wandavision I know it’s not Netflix I’m saying I’m talking about streaming now what Netflix is created
you wouldn’t be able to have a pilot like that in the days when I only eat like a night I get it
I understand it’s because like oh appointment viewing and I’ll accept that there was a craft to it as it makes me feel so old than like you can’t you can’t just say that on episode 3 things are going to start making sense I’m like the Marvel name is like trusting I don’t like watching a TV show whose parent company is also like like they’re they’re like oh be confused something about Herman fired in 2006 which is just like using a genre to tell us a story but like you know fuck you if you want details go eat a dick he will see you in episode 2 5 minutes of credits episode 2 start at an angle oh here you go with it episode 3
did I don’t know how to explain it all now meeting with the goddess like this is a pilot it’s a pilot called One Division It’s a Good Pilot but here’s the problem you have a lot of money in a half an hour and your second episode fucking 1 Division Avenue Fullerton corrupt Lumberjacks it have to be fucking good you see that they see The Night Stalker and BC okay we’re going to buy guns
I got all of them now right all cuz you’re scared for me to the two cops that they follow do anyting they never catch the Night Stalker they got the mail and then I think there was another guy who got like another child who got the bracelet beat up a guy that I was like yeah I did that just like collected the shoe prints over 40 people in the same shoe
what horrible crime station on television is like gravity it exists it will exist no matter what you do your job as a TV craftsperson
I feel the same way about everyone and Killers if you want your television story to stay aloft it is by the fuel station modularity episodic nice
equator movie isn’t it also true that now when you’re making a show for like NBC it’s got a it’s it’s everybody’s got that but if you’ve bought the streaming service you’re already in the pocket for whatever they’re putting on so you sure don’t look at these kids now or going like here’s my picture show in episode 1 there’s a zombie and then you and then it’s like whoa what’s with the zombie but also has a wedding ring and then he takes a shit in the toilets like we will give me the wedding ring and you’re like what’s going on I’ll skip over episode to tell you by the show but here’s what happens in episode 3 here’s my point
the toilet makes rings that fight zombies that’s my point is that you can’t like that’s now how shows are being pitched like like the market has been inflated people are like now pitching streaming services they’re going I have a pitch for a show for you and they pitch a 10-episode story where they include I’m not just out of my butt hole here that’s what streaming services want though I think I’ve I’ve been developing this show some some serialized like they want it like they wanted to see more more and then
slow down someone is more kin than episode 400 egg in the yard and it’s like what’s with that egg like that’s the problem is that I ain’t isn’t like lately it’s crazy there used to be this like for bad reasons there was good things happening which was like we got to keep this audience we have to assume the customer is always right the customer in TV is an ass-whole who has no gets to give shooting in at any moment in your half hour of derivative garbage and they could leave at any second are you going to hook them you can hook up with fucking craft mamajama and I think it’s something I can’t shake like the goodness of that when I watch these shows where I’m like when I watch won Division I go like
what is production design is amazing there is genius happening here I’ve seen a lot of people omage the 50s era of Television this makeup in these sets and the cinematography this is like
great and but I’m like god dammit shrub you disagree you’re like
oh no I thought you was cringing cuz you’re like I can’t believe he’s going after wandavision why now I haven’t seen I’m just saying man aboard a little late I’m sorry and I need plus like anybody go and doing the Deep dive on the cat from outer space or the Shaggy DA or any any of that shit like it didn’t know any of that stuff the cat from outer space and I put it on in like 2 seconds and she’s like gun this movie all those things yeah they have that they have like a Escape to Witch Mountain that is a weird time of of of Disney where they were just like trying to figure it
it was a lot of practices yeah it’s really strange is he like a magic necklace that makes him moved it around in his lips don’t move when he talks like that all those people in like 15 of them who else that there’s another guy that was in like all those Disney movies in like he and Kurt Russell were buddies because
another famous guy and if it was like this because they were just Disney property and it would just be in these movies I can’t remember who the other guy
yeah that’s what that guy got really smart.
Yeah I’ll Make A Deal come out make a new one what’s a new one right now go my God that’s it’s not Cujo because it’s like the dog is the dog has an Mo the dog has a signature like the dog is doing it for a reason that’s it would be interesting if we found urine all over this body is the third time was all over this guy I think it’s called the best friend Sam that’s what I mean did like one in that style with that music and like the same like voice casting and stuff like that and the dog is walking around like what about her
what’s the weather like tonight you guys will understand the length of the walk because I feel like something Kodi and fire like I got too much going on yeah me too and like will take them on are what we call the short walk as if we take them damn really don’t think that their behavior to me seems like they if they don’t get the walk they start going out of their goddamn minds but then it doesn’t matter I think it’s a human thing that it be like that walk was hardly anything like of harnessing them up and taking them out at like like oh take him down to a cul-de-sac and would bring them back up cold a sack what am I going to Let It Go video
television that’s their TV yeah but they don’t they don’t if they get if they get two minutes of Knight Rider as opposed to 22 minutes to they act as if they’ve seen a whole episode of Knight Rider that’s what is the weather like this walk didn’t have the full story I don’t want to go it feels like you just wait until they’re done I always do Cody’s like she’s not above like come on and I’m like hot wool and it but like they’ll sniff shit and then they will you take him around there just sniffing shit there barking at other dogs then they get back home and then like thank you like before that they’re like you would need to think that you were killing them by not taking them for a walk there like
videos of reward ever come in for a walk it and then like you but you can take them for like a 2 second walk and then they’re like they’re like to bind it it’s about exhausted like it it’s like they have like a circadian rhythm or whenever you call they understand days but they don’t understand hours similar to like ladies like me for as is going out sometimes we’re like getting ready to go out is like the most fun part of the night and then you get there and you’re like this sucks why am I here and then you’re like I can just leave now so the putting on of the harness that has a patient that’s the money shot the rest of it is like kind of useless
play that makes sense that I’m in that event that that makes me able to relate to it too I think I felt that way to about going out or I’m like I don’t need to be out for 6 hours just because I haven’t been out for six months I do need to have gone out it’s like a punctuation that’s that’s what it is like the party the typewriter going for like at the end of a otherwise you’re just like typing forever and the dog the dog is perceiving that the typewriter cylinder is going out the door there I made it understandable with my metaphors
with my keen understanding of old-timey typewriters and dogs I have I have Angela of the situation and everyone gets it now
can have you still been playing death stranding have you stopped if you given up it’s not death stranding drove me back into would work. It was just the fact that the game is walking and trying to balance and it’s like that’s the game I’m not sure there’s a here’s an alternate Theory I was I had peaked with satisfactory and like whatever game I played next was going to be like just whatever Minecraft you just make machines and factories is really good
it’s the best it’s really good satisfactory you make like a mining machine that pulls iron out of the ground and pry with the name you know it it’s it’s so great yeah it’s just like that’s
yeah we’re like Madras the new Hitman it’s really fun Batman
yeah I’ve been streaming stream on Twitch you guys and I’m plugging that twitch.tv I’ve been playing Minecraft again I don’t know if you play vanilla Minecraft in Forever Dan but like they made the nether update where like the nether has got all this crazy shit in it now and they just made a cliffs in caves update so there’s these massive underground cave complexes that are submerged it’s like it’s crazy how different it is from like vanilla Minecraft just like a little bit of Hopper functionality where you could lay a swordfish they still don’t have that they have a lot more but yeah it’s probably get it
well that’s no you should plug a way people should be watching you and I’m twitch a DD module as everyone knows I would dungeon master but I wrote another D&D modules called the jungle of wayward wild it’s at Twin it’s at the $6. It’s. IO and it’s like it’s kind of based on the Lost Woods from Zelda if anyone like Zelda it’s like is it I think it’s really cool I’ve rented a bunch of times it’s a lot of fun but you could get that so I ate at the plug-in wasn’t my idea for coming on the show but you know come on come on you guys should get something out of this forgot you’re up to besides the people in the show I mean like I got trapped
I got travel on video
Amazon video.com like every Sunday I try to do something follow me on Instagram Twitter and Facebook to find out when and where I like promoting weird stuff
check it out I’ll still got a lot of that t-shirts on sale we buy three of them pretty good get that ride blend that’s a good quality shirt the actual material or really it’s not it’s not that hard yeah it’s not weird
yeah we got Camille and Emily you got anything to plug plug washing your hands while wearing a mask
wow.com you ruining your hands like Mike my skin falling off like I’m washing it so much you got an invoice terrorize Jack I do but I’m just washing my hands again
really wow how to get that team for it but it’s made for a woman
nanjiani Max
gives you heart attacks too much if you take too much which you shouldn’t
the tempo and it’s not conducive to freestyling I don’t know what that was just random chords playing so I is 70% of fact of it we’re working on it and it says we’re excited about it definitely don’t take too much
yeah it’s a right now we’re only doing 55 plus for this for the rest of the year yeah we’re going alphabetically
are numerically at the same time but they’re crisscrossing so old as wonderful and Amber’s first and then it’s going to end up with youngest newborn people with last name begins with x are going to be dead so anyhow you’re not a leader ronda’s in a day or two it’s called that happens we got to that happens happening and you go to that happens pod right printer oh yeah that happens pot on all the things Instagram Twitter even a.com and coming soon writer than Discord maybe I don’t know
the prelude
that happens and by that I mean fun that happens entertainment’s on the Run since pandemic eggs everyone has nothing to do so what happened
come join me and you my name is Spencer I’m here to say I like to roll some dice today I might as well do it with Jeff
the problem I have the problem I have with that jingle is be stretching of the idea of laughing into something that rhymes with Jeff that was cheap yeah no problem with Jeff is at you get there’s death there is a chef in the treble clef while you do a podcast with Spencer okay what do podcast about yeah I guess you’re going to have to go find out Camille nanjiani you’re going to have to come check it out it’s not about episodes we haven’t dropped him at we’re about to and we have generated a new D&D character for me where is it a spoiler announce what my character is oh go ahead Jeff
now I’m going to say it’s going to be good when we go with a cat and knew how to work on the boat so yeah there you are under a mega Center real quick I like when you go into an Armenian like alterations place and they’re like wild relations act like you don’t yeah it does a restaurant by us that were like the food is not good enough for you have a brother
cash only $57 for a salad you really you’re staying here huh okay what time we went it takes 2 hours you would like to watch the lights I mean we’re really busy so it’s going to be a long time before you can order it now it’s the front but we will call that bluff we’re going to sit here we’re waiting for our food right knee replaced by Hangouts and I never saw anybody ever go in or out of the TV repair shop but I ain’t my TV was on the fritz years ago and I called them up and hey I got this TV and it’s I think the light bulb is gonna that’s how old am I having light bulb everybody and the guys like
$100 the best of friends there so you can come in here we’ve we will find you a light bulb for your TV is going to cost you a lot of money to take time out of my busy money laundering and heroin dealing you know because they kept expanding and they can’t make it look more like a home but if you want in there but you can’t because the doors never opened but you look at the yes they do have three or four TVs and it looks like maybe somebody in there is slightly interested in the TV repair trade however called him on the phone and ask them for a quote and I think they really want you to go fuck off and then ask where there they want to go look for their hair up heroin shipment your side the whole strip mall across from the drawing room including the old rustic like we have venom
strip mall is just like like Ben Affleck’s character in the accountant like is just like keeping the whole thing going as I got is like a Apple repair store that never had any cables and then there’s like a real tea place that it doesn’t make any sense now those are all gone All That Remains is the the strange like real estate like Sotheby’s or what whatever the hell I guess you’ve never seen anybody go in or out of that building that is certainly a brothel I guarantee you it is a it is a is it feel and I feel like I’m looking for a flat to level ranch with maybe maybe the backyards a little
Applebee’s is broccoli that everything Bravo Beezy
Rob Zombie
also being well my name is okay thank you for having us to see your faces and hopefully we’ll all hang hang out in person very soon and pick those take the vaccines people yeah just get get that and what’s it called is not Johnny Mac’s
has not been approved by the FDA it is not covered by Insurance okay the FDA approval is for assholes because that you get it says let’s roll the dice garlic flavored
don’t take tomorrow off and and Emily thank you so much also Rob schrab would love you and enjoy it and go check out trap home video because it’s always a Groove and the gas and you will dig it Spencer Crittenden. Check out our new podcast that happens you can find us a bit happens., that happens five whatever the hell I have a patreon about storytelling you can find me at patreon Danna what do you plug and what are you working on right now nothing don’t don’t patronize me don’t subscribe to me don’t cancel me don’t Don’t monitor me leave me alone get out of my life get out of my face get off my radar
put me off your grid
good night everybody we did it then see you later see you soon.
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