Episode
Episode: 134 – Dogs, Cats and Danny DeVito
Description
Dan solicits black audience members to join the show and organically, not by force or anything, they engage in a rap battle. Guest Greg Proops returns and adds a nice layer of insanity to our Shadow Run campaign.
Transcript
Hollywood California Hermantown is now in session
we brought them in the states in the mayor of harmontown Dan Harmon
Nigeria
all right
thank you very much very enthusiastic very good people thank you for not going to the Grammys thank you so much I know a lot of you are nominated and you just decided to check the results later and back here and made me a quickie cuz that foreshadow run tonight cuz I don’t want to live it figured out how to use make these devices in our pockets usable on the level of a notepad yet it’s still hasn’t happened I’m 42 fucking years old that’s all I’m going to say about it it’s still easier to have a piece of paper around your neck and it shouldn’t be at the peak of the Palm Treo I remember I was typing fast with my thumbs and then they this iPhone thing happened and it’s wonderful it’s a great-looking thing and you can’t touch the screen and move it over
but if you added up all of the time that we spend like going back and correcting all the words boy Jeff Second Life
okay alright so extra black people come tonight
what’s your name
Brian anybody else
you better not be white
genuinely black that’s only funny if you’re black
no it’s funny but no it’s not it’s not funny that’s hilarious I buy compression Junior
there’s no middle ground between us or Max or no
God-fearing Christians see now
it started starting to get it starting to get okay if he’s wife because it’s a dimensional as character and it’s not it’s not it’s not it’s not just an impression of a race it’s becoming a character so it’s it’s becoming fine he’s becoming Tracy almond if he’s white
Mad Max what do you do for a living
inform you provide what what my what’s on a performance is do you do Max
why are you willing to come up on stage and feel it out with us okay welcome back to the face
a show really got off right out of the gate like a rocket
all right cross your fingers
this guy better be black as hell
maxilla
awesome hello
Dad did you eat you can grab one of those and have a seat microphone and just as promised you your your people in the 1940s
did you come because last week I plead for four more black people know do you have the black ass voice ever miss me and James Earl Jones week every year we just kind of see who can go more bass and I’m getting there when I was 13 it was close but now he’s starting to lose it I wish I could I love like bass singers with me this is okay okay hold on
post-racial and premenstrual how would you like me to pray for I forgot to bring them up how low is your voice talking about her son was a great but basso profundo voice but I’m just pointing out like what a Razor’s Edge we walk in the modern world and how and how far you go to to to just find yourself back at fascination with each other guy is good, there was a huge what was the voice from the bad guy
it was just good I mean Brian can come up to but I don’t want to like I don’t want to do like a I don’t have a like worth hitting me with each other
Brian I can feel you presents.
Brett Brian do you want to come up or do you would not want to be dehumanized like that I am
I’m out front all right
man I’m so excited but I like like like like a Fed just for that random like I wish that there was still television so someone could be flipping through channels and see me hanging out
call my white guilt was just like the king socks off the range through super vacuum up into the stratosphere 11 year old fat white the presser I just feel like now I just feel like I’m fucking none on this ground what should we talk about Randy Quaid
is he in the news about me what do you do for a living I work at a Jamba Juice sounds like you’re making it up a little bit terrible but nobody at that Java Juice whatever watch like the podcast or listen to it or anything like that
did the co-workers of the customers customers for sure
what’s news isn’t that important it’s not
not the important thing here by the time you’ve already decided that you don’t even you’re not even you don’t even need solid food like you should be an easy going person when you come up with a great life fantastic so you’re saying there a little impatient bossy generally assholes how old are you to be able to ask 2311
you haven’t even been through 911 yet
isn’t it
oh oh we all experienced high with the right sorry I thought I thought I thought I thought all of us had to turn 32 for 9:11 to heaven
Max that you said you’re a performer what the what are you do I just relocated to Los Angeles three days ago from where from New York for New York how you know I was one of your black friends
who who doesn’t know any other black people I bet you know what ton of black people don’t you you probably went to school with a bunch of impacting blacks black acting school
I push it too but I thought it was like there was a show when I was a kid called Fain it was about the New York City’s yeah yeah it was at that’s not where you went but I think there was a woman who sang the song title sequence there was an actor who was one of the teachers who first there was a movie and then with the song I don’t know if the movie was an adaptation of us on the TV show end of the credits for the TV show the opening title sequence woman saying you want Fain you want success will right here is where you start in sweat and it was just a show about and talented High School in the movie that’s what Coco takes their shirt off and cries oh yeah
do you know what I’m talking about when I was a kid and I was like soundstages golf cart goes by on the back of a golf cart on the back of a golf cart on the back of it is I forgot the actor’s name who played dance remember him
why is widely why waving at you I think I think believe I think he knows me. I feel so cool
Max you want to drink you were looking I was I was I anybody you can help yourself. I want to dig into ice with my hands for you I know I’m from New Orleans originally but I live in Oakland I just came down to help here to help a friend move into harmontown really you came for different town to do it yes you’re a good person and a good friend I really like convenience also did you want to drink has become bartender I really do need like Dan Harmon is making a drink. It’s like it’s like a gun
that’s exactly what I was thinking it’s like Patrick Swayze packing your parachute sitting on your lap
a grouper on the bullseye and then the professional improviser by the way we have a great group here tonight I’ll be coming up on
inarguably a white man but when you get Greg drunk it when Greg gets just drunk and high and that he becomes a black jazz musician from 1933 yeah he becomes incredibly like a jazz musician all right so we can I ask you out here from New York is it sounds like he’s doing a bit sometimes just came in from New York so now it like what is it what is the plight of a young actor in LA in 2015 how does it work it’s still look the same you still going to pile a head shots in your backseat and you just kind of his All Digital now I don’t know about ya LinkedIn
yeah yeah now it’s just what I mean so is there do you have an agent
is there a is there like did your manager say stuff like you know you got to do that YouTube now
he does kind of talk like that he has like an old old New York Jewish Accent take a freestyle you going to drop the beat and weird
are you you don’t have to say a word if you would like to do some freestyle rapping that is fine by me you want a battle oh
is that I mean that’s what they call it it
yeah
Maxi’s pretty diamonds that for that I’m literally up here because of the color of my skin is the he said he wanted a wrap and they’re going to need you to just collect money from people willing to accept that somebody give me a hat please we need to collect we need $5 ahead and I think there should be some steaks for the winner of the battle I think it should be like a like
all right well I mean I have I can make a cash he’s the guy I don’t know
all right I got I got 20 here today cuz I could are you have a 22 okay
Frank Meehan the kitty the kitty is $40 we’re going to do it democratically by Applause by the end of the good old-fashioned I think you I think you’re going to rap battle I think I think by a plazas that that’s for that’s a white people Halloween party thing in a real rap battle you know who won
play games like that it hurts them trying to impugn your rapping ability but I do think you have that in you right now to elicit that sort of reaction to the truck for me it’s like it’s not up to me it’s up to God
cuz I don’t want to pull rank but I feel like that’s what comes through me when I work in any capacity you’re into it now very for
that $40 you going to quit that Jamba Juice
I’m out
a quake I don’t know is that person know if any one of us make donations for this for a while now rappers right here passing around a had a couple minutes I’ll just throw a Beatdown you guys if you guys want to just take it yeah I guess I mean I mean I have a problem. Sometimes like I don’t I don’t I don’t I don’t I don’t hand it off soon enough cuz sometimes the shit just flowing I don’t even know if I would have gotten myself into right now man this is it
the stakes are low so if you guys just do your thing that I found from some of our donation is to give him some credit opening songs by cat named Lee Project called Loveless Street I really like that song so this is a battle Cooperative effort know each other they were a gang they were no animosity and this is just creative collaboration I think rap battling is a along with liquor stores and in pawn shops and end and Les nail gun gun range gun legislation and end horoscopes and scratch off tickets are all part of the white man’s
from your man I’m back peddling on the white man conspiracy I feel bad that we ever initiated it. I wish that we can take it back don’t even put it in quotes is a powerful word post-racial Cooperative rap Co-op
but there will be one winner somebody will win America that has to be a winner
okay on the winner is anyone US Dollars well I don’t know me well yes yes that’s true but I don’t think we have to call that person a better rapper than Mike I think we absolutely do when the person who has at least three rappers I am the the best are you in on this rap battle I just not a bad I feel like Bryan is like like he’s he’s going to sneak in there until I can review it should have come in there and just in case
so there’s no hocus-pocus or bologna in case you guys had some prepared with your suggestion Randy Quaid
all right I’m going to play a couple beach in the station were going to be like to use here how about yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yoke’s treats to the queen
cheats to the week
all right here right here are you sir
it bothers you is coming Monday and maybe
to the week 3 to the Wii
Gentleman on the streets okay okay all right okay I’m seeing Harmon coming to it
yo why you got to walk down the sidewalk doing that high-toned like a bird talk why you’d whistling me how much your mama so hot she took a piece I pulled your mama’s pants down said I thought your mama so hard.
Shut down the street
crazy Mama’s titty meat
because in the end she’s a good person
alright keep it going keep going to beat us no same beat new topic
feelings feelings feelings
go Max feelings yeah I got these feelings man I’m not the black is kids but I’m turning in the middle kind of Chinese business represent it’s a riddle is the mystery but it’s nothing new to me it’s not a diss track but I feel like giving kisses to Dan Harmon yo
Jeff Bauman
yo Billy kind of homophobic though cuz it’s distracting me with my flow but still I got to go your beard yo it’s kind of weird if you wasn’t chick and you had a dick say yes kind of sick but I got to get up in it anyway
that took an unexpected turn Max.
I love that one is truly feeling
Charlie Kaufman of freestyle used the medium of the rap became a Feeling
the bar has been may be raised
you want the same beat which I do beat you like your choice little more smooth
do you like this
Sam results no matter the beat
is that ocean
I’m like a kid in a candy store what about a white devil white devil no not white devil
do you want to do
how much is how much is juice will give you juice
all right yeah
yo look at my kitchen ain’t got no juice look at my kitchen what the fuck you bitch
that’s all I got you got the lemons black guy up here on the spot
what is a dove a bit inside you like a motherfuking glove
that’s all I got
if it’s not going to be easy
it’s not going to be easy to play another beat you guys is I want this battle off and you got to spin it around like a group
and the song is about what sir
anything I got anything at all Netflix Netflix
if you want to see a movie you going to see it that’s how Netflix
play bitchin Camaro
I said yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah syncopated rhythms usually called the pussy
but I digress
have to cancel. I’m going to pass the mic
another person
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Mike do you Mad Max watch the interview on the track and got my shit and I watched it over and over I binge watch I watch House of Cards The Game of Thrones and sometimes I just don’t be my home Chinese food in route so I hang it up and and
that’s not asking me what I wanted a bitch
yeah yeah yeah, so you get it rhyme
you’ll notice that the end
call me when you call someone a color of the color
call me
okay last name Harmon I don’t know what that means but it’s white I won’t say a word rhymes with white but still you know what it’s like to be on stage and get call put on blast sometimes I watch Netflix for hours just trying to pick up so I don’t know what to do I read all the titles and they all sound interesting songs.
Netflix I don’t know what the whites Netflix why am I such a bike ride
batflix what the fuck is going on I can’t even see her phone is this sisters fuck you all right
3469 Windsor Avenue
I feel like she almost got to real there in danger of crossing the dangerous reality and I think made a good case for more black people coming to my show just fix racism surprising how little time it took we’ve been working on it forever it’s like let me out there let me take care of this is there any since you guys were so gracious and you know put yourselves out out there is there anything I mean usually we ask the professional people what they’re plugging but you guys are plugging your your young lives if anybody is hiring people who don’t have any experience riding television shows please call me
you can go to the framer, juice or if I need to go to your nearest Jamba Juice and ask for me ever
a Maxwell how does if there’s a if there’s a guy sitting in Seattle that goes to Chipotle
you’re correct sir and he can find you on LinkedIn or whatever the two guys that has money in it
play my smash it was tight we don’t need to decide between the two of them right we can just split the 60 but I’m on my way to the gym
all right if I do a lot of a Jamba Juice in a lemon
I don’t know acting tutorials Chipotle burritos
alright well thanks Max thanks Brian babe
and bring
it’s working graphic working they should have brought to you by
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes related my own life so is always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker it myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerves like you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blackstone up with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
I bet you thought it was absurd when I asked for it I said I just requested black people to come to the show I thought it was silly you thought I was racist
just like a fox
I’m bringing back a pre racial that’s that’s my movement tri-racial before racism really kicked off races that artificial construct but that’s why it’s so fascinating
like remember Jamal Jamal is not here is he Somalian here he would have spoke up at the end of the show like post-racial kid like you you to look like he was about twelve years old. Horrible very very bored with my racial obsession with making fun of me like, just like didn’t need it had no use for the consciousness of race like it’ll be fun to have him come up every week and just check in with him do a post-racial update and I do it just say I ate a sandwich today
all right well that was that was a strange detour but that’s what Harman sounds about about magic
I think we’ve proven that if our next guest had anything to say about it he’d probably say the show is about waiting a long time for weird wraps to happen I’m going to bring out grapefruit
yeah yeah yeah yeah
Beamer smoking wax
watching Netflix with the orange to the black community
I have time to take it off
you could hide all I fucking came up with you could have made yourself 40 cool dollars man I know man and then I could have quit my job and shit
how many preppy are you at some ice thank you I like you people backstage by my do so and I actually asked to both of them one after the next the first guy when you go out there when you bring a bottle walk on Cappy seconds later another guy when will you bring a ball of my how many people want me to bring vodka and answered yes to all of you I really did ask the question and I’m so enthusiastic about answering yes to the smartest man in the world podcast does not work correctly as a vodcast cuz you are a skilled buy vodka whatever that’s our fuel by my choice to buy vodka or fuel fuel fuel course that’s what you used to go from one place to another
like rocket fuel for rockets in Lubbock
so all right
I’m well thanks for asking
you you have a podcast by the smartest man in the world you’re more erudite than I have your your alerted man you’re a smart man you’re right you’re right you’re ready. You coming out with a book the smartest book in the world you’re a smart person joke by the way everyone so serious right now in panic and shit right now really hard right now with your book about thank you for asking
Jeff Davis says it.
I know it’s about to pass all the way I don’t even look behind me
post 30 like like like well into the era of of everyone’s got a phone in their camera like like don’t don’t think about what you were 17 or anything either of you since the Advent of the phone camera taking a shit so big that even though you knew you were never going to show it to anybody
so big that you took a picture of your own shed just because you were about to flush it
and you knew
dressing up like I suppose you’ve guessed by now that happened to me recently
to anybody because it’s gross
but I don’t know what I would never want to look at a picture of anyone else’s shit you know what websites were people posted pictures of shit stuff but looking at the Rainbow Brite website so I’m a little prissy I’ve never been moved to the phone but it needed you recorded I’m saying like this I was like this is I’m not going to show this picture to anybody I’m taking this picture because that’s how big the shit is all the time all the time I’m not going to share the picture with anybody the pictures for me but I just want to tell people I took the biggest hit of my life 42
in Paris recently right
I know I have never been tempted but I can understand the impulse for me it’s not like I’m in airports all the time and having long conversations with their loved ones while they’re doing their thing and it to me that’s gross there’s a time and place for everything and call me I know it doesn’t take place while you’re eliminating. I’ve never wanted to take a picture of my wand and I never want to take a picture of it any extra meant to but that’s me I missed your bowl Viking who fucking for just forward and breakthrough post racial barriers and get people to Jamba Juice on stage and gives them money so I can understand what you’re you’re eliminatory sister might be not have some pride I didn’t I didn’t feel Brave I called cowardly as I was taking a picture like I felt like the the pansies in the beginning of 2001
if those things had cameras they would have does octopus eat that was it in the shape if it has been in the shape of a monolith then I might consider it didn’t come out as a perfect rectangle I might think. So this is just know what this is an issue anymore this is science, Khan and Neil deGrasse Tyson territory here in that the odds of taking a rectangular shit or 1 and 1 billion and yet Jen apartment achieve it four times last week after visiting with Fatburger on Santa Monica.
how do we know what I did and I didn’t experience anything toward on the toilet I was it was like it was like a normal experience that I was just sitting there thinking about Xanadu or whatever and I I I I just I just got off and I look damn it I was like this is a remarkable amazing
there’s nowhere I only wanted to talk about the relationship did you ever see the South Park episode was it where the dad takes the giant something about it’s it’s it’s a it’s an exploration of a thing that’s always going on it of course you don’t want to talk to other people about your shit some people still tell each other about their dreams I’m I’m I’m you know who you are talking about your shit like in the new show like I don’t like that when people go like those like a pebble a picture of your shit but but at the same time I think there’s something interesting about the fact that you know we we we we we you know a few things every day and there’s so few of those things that we do everyday that we that we never really really talk about it we really have a relationship with
we taking this big a ship once I haven’t had a baby when I know I tried took a picture and I just I just went upstairs and Greg
for the Asian to the ax
all right that’s the growth segment of the show I had I had another thing about it I always wondered about the recycle bin if you blow your nose and then right is it still recycling or Garbage do you supposed to put it in there a shoe box made out of recycled materials what is like the last part of the coleslaw in the cardboard thing still recycling or is it garbage
is really unlimited possibilities of what is the cycle that this place started paper is that was this is a question I mean I’ve never over the two things cuz I’m like we’ll answer it I’ll go garbage recycling excretions that goes through everything
talk to black people up here are your understanding of what the underclass have to do is rather limited I would think in this regard and yes people have to go through every manner of the recycling bin gets dumped out will take me through from the blue blue bin go into the truck and then they change that to Austrian then the other I don’t know his name take it to an area outside in Pomona California where it’s dumb to do a giant refuse pile much like the volcano in Mordor and from several years ago with the one with all the Indian children that won the Oscar for being the one that’s how it made people feel awful in there for good cuz it was in color and there was dancing in my contacts out all the excreta effluvium the wrong Jeff seems that the world perpetrate someone has to go through each
if there’s any value to it and then either put it in a bag and take it to a community where they sell it or it goes into a big giant furnace that’s marked big devil and that’s that’s how I’m typing or talking about I mean we have a de facto leader in there where the course bullshiting at all times but I would appreciate it if you’d maintain a respectful silence that go through and they go through the bins and then they got like Street people but yeah
play grab this up listen first that everyone gets a home which is ours I think our friend who works at Jamba Juice will a test when your awake so I have no home is getting to you the idea of a home-and-home last is there is a fairly I didn’t try to Carlin work that point over pretty vagina clean this paper’s got into chocolate on it
what does that but then it might but then you have put your pizza of your cardboard pizza box in there right it’s got cheese all that I think about it
recyclable and then I clean them for you put those moves like a golden recycle bin well you know I’m sure I’m not the person to be letting you in on this but we have gone recycle crazy to the point where there is often no actual refuse container in like in my in the writers Bungalow at work there is no non recycling there’s like four giant cardboard boxes that all have the recycling symbol on it I compost or just for big giant fucking boxes that I’ll have that zip line is that I do want to be a Libertarian here but it’s a dirty little secrets and push it just goes into a fucking pile with everything else is late late because of the stuff that we’re putting in these boxes it’s like oh yeah this is where the plastic and the paper and the cardboard in it
the important ways to say happy in the really goes home and drive down the street to the Lansing people digging in the garbage cans and pulling out Burger King Roberts in July. I guarantee you no matter what’s happening I don’t want to bring it down to a bummer level work and all your nice lower-middle-class fans are bummed out we’re talking about two different things out here talking about people are just leaving to healthcare
you’re talking about. They talk every once in turn on Logan’s room we could look through this you talking about I don’t know why everything but those people that goes through the garbage cans that then take stuff to the recycling center that the stuff that they buy instead of people that go through my garbage shut that are like scavengers from sector 7 I get that I admire those people are amazing that they’re like bothering to find the honest labor the quote unquote honest labor that’s afforded to the their situation like it’s a bit blows my mind over and randomly runs up to those people and give them money because they’re like he has some notion that this world is a meritocracy level
does a Modern Marvels and things like that which is a guy or gal at a conveyor belt and the plastic island in the South Pacific that box up and down the slide and we need to do harmontown from the garbage island
I don’t know how we get there I think you fly and there’s no birds or fish anymore but at a certain point in the South Pacific when you get out there there’s a giant bunch of birds and fish because the garbage is there in your life is an ecosystem if we can’t walk on it and star foam and what not in your control tissues and Jamba Juice cups that people throw away in La they got caught in a tsunami tide and shot across the fucken Pacific and stuff and I think it’s going to be another six months or so that we can do a fucking benefit for it what it like that is why you was doing years ago or whatever Iceland now garbage island is the new paradigm and they all went to Clark with your sale on and I’m going to write my next novel there and then by that time they’ll be animals and monkeys and and whatnot. Living on the garbage island as well and fauna and Flora and they’ll be palm trees growing out of nowhere
nature finds a way
if we’ve learned nothing we’ve learned that Jeff goldblum’s are absolutely right in the movie Jurassic Park partner if you can get an Apple Mac interface with an alien Craft Lucky guess.
Independence Day. It’s junkie the was he right with powdered drink and powder with your
reply what would I hear I hear a grown man but inside the front and girl
can apply heat fucking hate you when he married Jane and Anna’s wine it down today so he was right about. So Macbeth was right about killing the cake making him can write about something tragic movie like that a sci-fi horror movie that ends with him getting a sorry kids getting his brains blown out even goes now it’s time to go to blow my brains out but he has a conscience in that one and all that jazz
all right so I think she’s married now
he was roaming around out lately like I see him play at the argyle hotel which is now called me the sunset is Jeff Goldblum and the men’s room attendant Sciences thank you my name is Jeff so I’m washing my hands message Jeff Goldblum and there’s a guy named Jeff Jeff to a meteor hits the bathroom at 3 walk outside I’m at some Gala
and he talks to the Scout and never ever ever takes his eyes off of a tattoo if you could have walked through me the Quantum Leap or something
can you dial 5 minutes from now and I just walked through you
every woman in this room I think on Earth are my flattering myself but let’s assume that half of them are not women cuz of your observations at the number of women that I have talked to that have a jump Goldblum story that specifically about his sort of I don’t want you to hot button language like predatory or anyting
I am going to come and get you tonight I used to have them on my chacho couple times then he was absolutely charming and and really lovable and fucking just like was speechless but you know you’re a teenager guy said to you if you hit on every girl like eventually want a couple
next to Bill Clinton who’s actually observed on philosophy you know what I mean like most guys do most guys junk it on every single girl by Jeff Goldblum and Oakland I think alike. How’s it going and then every one of those to know I push them away and then like fine I’m on to the next one else animal-like lazarbeam lock like Target lock on the I like the predator
you are one ugly bastard Predator Arnold Schwarzenegger My Scene have a lot of them I think you could call it a cross-check I have checked the correct hockey term is Bruce Willis went through me but then I saw me he saw a girl that doesn’t like my first girlfriend like I was never in love with and I was like early twenties and she looked enough like Demi Moore for me to get it’s like I keep an eye on Charlie was in his own and he came out of the men’s room at Sam’s Club in Hollywood and saw her across the way and there was various sofas and human beings and Michael
thanks for handling like like
what is Perry Farrell’s rolling out of
and he saw her from across the room in about 40 feet and looked like she was four meters high
the sofa weather at one point for me to do if it’ll take so long to get from one point to another in the bar he just started jumping over and climbing over be like stepping on people’s coats wow I’m coming I’m coming I saw this happening trying to my girlfriend and Mexican diced Hudson Hawk are over Salt Lake City is after Hudson Hawk when he was like racing it was like my hair’s falling out
he didn’t know how sexy he was going to get when I finished falling out he would he was still airbrushing at his head
Hudson Hawk guy is like vaulting like they bringing her to Seagram’s
they don’t even know I don’t even know how you guys do it it’s pretty desperate yeah I’ve had one or two I can’t see their names I got run over by Nicolas Cage one time but you guys didn’t invent the New Orleans but he became absolutely careening out of an elevator in New Orleans and it wasn’t because he was trying to get me where he just came out
I wish I was a guy waiting in elevator
I don’t begrudge him for that if we all wanted when he was having that night because I love that I’ve never made love to be my friend Tom Kenny told me that he was at Johnny Ramon funeral and I’m over at Hollywood Forever and Nicolas Cage and he goes He Wore a long black coat and shave and he goes everybody got them smoke and then Nicolas Cage won
Johnny if you’re up there I know you’re going to hear us
I want to come to my funeral I don’t even care if I can’t see it I want him to be there in a rocking good news
that would be great at Windows request that I think it is blow people’s minds and I don’t even know him I want to kiss you do the eulogy
you can probably charge for that same way that they sell like the cryogenic freezing companies like those are all scams it’s like okay who’s going to sue you do your headlight bucket but I can make you dig at you over $1000000 old
yeah I’ve known you for a long time I didn’t know you did a great Nicolas Cage
now it’s all messed up is like face off and ship it you you do the Gary Busey overbite active
I think
but then this is Bill Clinton
I got a I got a guy who’s it who’s the who’s the who’s the who’s the third Jimmy Stewart
Boise does the weird doctor thing like I was watching them what’s the Christmas picture where is one of my phone not as good as I remembered it frankly I’m a little more torpid but no bars that are open all night in MMI places to dance in the regular Bedford
they’re halfway okay Ginger Rogers is on the Dance Floor Jimmy Stewart comes out of the elevator and I don’t know what the fuck is Jimmy Stewart’s on
face of a soul brother
I was hoping I was never dating and he played at the Hard Rock Cafe what was then the old joint and then high stakes blackjack cuz he’s rich and he can’t move and I think Aunt Gary Busey is there and he is with a very lovely girl and I don’t know that is prostitute I just have much feelings about
how many sponsor by the way this is a dead Acura drink carry just as the best route to I can’t deal with Waze
because of John Fogerty it’s not people standing up its chair. It’s still repeating tell exactly what I was thinking of course it’s because it’s true it is the dead center seat Muhammad Ali’s in the corner of Lincoln we empty do I look like the weirdest guy in the world
who comes in our friends will show up and you’re a homicide detective who never solve the case of the guy who kept murdering women and playing a John Fogerty song I took over the phone every time you did it so it’s Play Born on the Bayou I’m going to snow pretty hard today that they did was like 40 years ago and he’s laying it down and then Drew comes in at all to all of our friends were there and I thank you for coming it was very strange but I kind of like what kind of like High Roller didn’t buy the tickets Drew Carey in the back of the throat three like Nine Inch Nails is not on stage
what are you in the back of the head like you’re at the junior high school and going to
standing up
the whole show and I see you sit down
how much and how many shows has been to a John Target he’s like really huge success at that level where Gary Busey is your Adam Goldberg
crazy guy Gary Busey Holly he played and sang all the fucking songs in the movie with the that ban he actually has a rock and roll background which makes it even more Friday
magic red dress
who is Ben Roethlisberger Pittsburgh Steelers
hey baby
what are the kings of rock will take you higher I want to wait a little bit yeah I know that I actually like went to this video with oh boy
I I was at my friend’s house the other day and I was like cuz they was seen that Randy Quaid video and they didn’t understand like and so I was like no you have to see this and then no one put it on immediately so I was like no you have to see this and every 15 minutes I was like seriously you fucking guys you have to watch this video.
In the world right now I am aware of that cuz I saw it on the web today but I didn’t want you to Dennis Quaid video where he was quite calm
that’s what I keep thinking about his dad is great just it was waking up in the morning like like like the morning when I get up cuz there’s a call time it’s like 6:30 a.m. shroud text me Randy Quaid me a link to the YouTube video Ed Ed said he doesn’t he quotes Independence Day at the end of the video watch the whole thing what happened with Randy Quaid because everyone just keep brushing it into this pile and very very phobic about just missing crazy behavior I don’t guess it’s obvious reason like I don’t want to be like you know a couple moves on that chessboard from where we draw the line I don’t know how you play chess
route to Harmon for May into
Milltown of the pratts are they go that crazy person that crazy privately whether it’s the Kony 2012 guy are Charlie Sheen and Randy Quaid or me sometimes whatever the real story here what’s going on cuz the last thing I want to do is be a part of the of a of a of a gang of any kind if it’s easy to say what a nut bar and I always tell till I go is he doing this video will you don’t even hang out the background and then it’s worse kind of glaring at the camera while he explains as he has before the Rupert Murdoch has it in for him and then he has never been over by this like kind of a larger system which we can talk about the second exactly what his what what his theory is and why he has it but he has this you know he feels he’s been
persecuted is it that I I went down the rabbit hole going to the timeline of everything that happened to him started in 2007 cut two I don’t have time to explain all of it but cut too he’s got no u.s. passport he’s basically sitting in one room and waiting to get either I guess put in jail in Canada or sent I don’t know where Landon have a u.s. passport they took it Hillary Clinton passport away I don’t think personally but we’re not friends because you know John Kerry called me the other week if you wanted to take my passport away but I did the trick I don’t want to end up in Ontario on a fucking room with my wife has never won a bikini top and a video that I can remember I made the 20th Century Fox a billion dollars when I save the world in Independence Day
he gets mad that Rupert Murdoch didn’t thank him for saving the world in Independence Day at some point
and you’re worried about calling him a nut bar
I understand. Don’t worry about it I’m worried about calling him a drug addict because I think that everyone keeps going on crystal meth crystal meth crystal meth
let he who is without drugs cast the first you know only users only users lose drugs that’s all they may have happened Wednesday don’t know but it’s part and parcel of my breakdown will be an increased use of whatever substances make you feel like that now so I can have these brush up with the price of Lulu in contemporary society and if I go other trades on the web and travel agent because he’s not he’s been married to his wife Evie for it since the 90s they’ve always had a very passionate you can’t you can’t Yoko is a tattoo to 200 Jack Partnerships
didn’t come in and and start causing problems in his life and in 2007 it just switched to like a light like a weird statistically you’re in your your your early twenties some some people could but but if you’re in a marriage and it’s a it’s a biochemical thing you don’t go crazy together that’s in there and he is not messed out he’s not here he’s not he does not he’s chubby and and ruddy-faced and healthy-looking he just seems to be really put out by what he claims is a is a global conspiracy episode or something for like 6 years 5 million records or whatever it is
I would hate to think that we’re missing Randy Quaid best years then because I know they were missing.
We can gang up on bullies I think that’s fucking great for that part of the weird thing is that we are like real lady and wonderful performers got this powerful voice he’s really because I don’t know like like he’s an actor house saying is he supposed to be at an end as if I don’t know them arrested six times what happened to and that’s enough to make anyone you know a little upset
opinion anytime you like Donald Trump or Kim comes on TV and tells us he’s going to run for president Sarah Palin gives speeches and she’ll like that and no one includes their sanity at any point. They’re all evil fucking insane unbelievable unbalanced at City Hall Hall at Brusters in the flim-flam nothing looks crazier than me and having an opinion Donald Trump if you was a fucking likely shuffled in here right now and have like a rat tail and set the shit that he said on Twitter about you like from America or god dammit born rich just give you like this is sanity pass like me to go ahead and just curious about is why they lost their money that’s the trouble started like Hillary Clinton
mother sitting up there in Canada and they’re making videos you could you can follow Evie Evie videos and other videos that they’re making from the same room if I don’t answer it’s one of those weird that’s why I’m fascinated with their story because it’s kind of doesn’t doesn’t doesn’t fall into every little Apple box on my understanding of the world Factory
what do you work in a bungalow where there’s a proprietary exponential fucking you know what did you call it a recycle recycling bin and yet you know for a fact that those are hypocritical result well there I know because there is no actual there’s not a box that says it just push it and turds and boogers in her dead raccoon has got to be one underneath it I know that was my last script
small mammal joke to really rock on
the foxes must have got here that’s why I asked
I think it’s Eric got you that there’s a giant boxes and there’s a guy that comes at midnight and I sleep at my office enough to know that all he does is show up and I feel like sometimes he doesn’t know I’m there so I get to listen to what he does from Midnight to 4:30 a.m. and it’s a real like risky business situation out there like he’s
Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo emptying the same garbage over and over again but I keep thinking he’s going to come in my office and have a key if you want to we can do so I just sit there with my blanket good like they think that it’s like be good those of the babadook her whatever end
and I just hear him out there just empty and stuff and then if I clear my throat he’ll like be gone in 10 minutes because he just comes to my Bungalow to fuck around but he also maybe thinks that someone watching him so he pretended to take out the garbage for four hours is is my better half.
I only got here
what time is it
Johnny Ramone funeral will commence in 5 minutes
I may have ruined your keyboard
Aaron’s in a in a very good customer
that’s like less like One Max asked if he could rap yeah I can’t ask you to dress up but please go ahead I’m on my I’m a 20 year old female Shaman make I mean I’ll do it his hands are tied folks
I forgot it at home but I made you an earring a little clip on your single you’re in for a film Cake Boss the movie
hamburger for this time it’s a bakery oh you don’t like your cake you think you kicked bad
the testicular from YouTube hyperlink.
Cinemark
Silas I know you
loving story was well when I kiss my wife which is a totally normal thing for every human makes me feel very inhuman
my wife a lot of my show and people go I can’t believe how proud you are of your wife and what are you with your wife in a room like fucking Jane Eyre or something
I took an Uber over here at the Uber driver and I washed the feet on the way over there was so strained coming into bed
it was great I was missing and you had our talk or did you have one of those 37r months
he’s an assistant to a cook and I just stopped at are you a writer for a cook what do you write like pie I take a spatula flip the pancake when I said this is how we find out
wasn’t watching TV tonight I was watching I don’t know if you saw but Jonathan eat from the Houston team is playing a worldwide rollerball match tonight so I was watching that on the way over and over how to make the logo for scar Burns is a cook is a chef that’s what he’s talking about it’s kind of amazing
Danny DeVito
Josh’s
my dog thinks the Danny DeVito we will we don’t know we don’t we we can never know why are dog parks of Danny DeVito if you if you could have did it when the item if you put on a ladder season of Always Sunny the dog goes nuts like there’s a cat on the screen or something if you that’s for you to my mind
also in the iTunes screen if if if the if the The Rainmaker with Danny DeVito and Matt on the poster is in the upper left corner of the screen because it’s in your most recently viewed section Harvey will look up at the upper left corner of the screen ago
because it’s a smaller Danny DeVito and what more well-groomed but then you put in season 6 of always sunny and egos are
he only does that for dogs cats and Danny DeVito
because they’re all the same weight Means War of the Roses is outer
where are you I don’t know we haven’t put it where I have you tried like I like One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest when he’s quite young I haven’t gone through the whole Martinez Vines of cats and I said I said I said to Aaron like to try drawing a picture of a dog on a paint piece of paper with a sharpie let’s see if this fucking dog is like a goddamn Caesar in Planet of the dogs
and it’s also a good idea and she drives a stake artist I guess she doesn’t like she’s drawing like a pictogram of a dog like that I had proof
amazing drawing of a dog pictures for my book
good luck sweetie you did a regular picture of a silhouette of a dog of a dog okay and she drives for a while and then she turns it around and it’s a picture of me with a dick in my mouth
Max you can buy that drawing if you want later on after the show born from the pages of reality Greg see what’s going on or anything down for the intro part so I don’t know alright well put up the music and Dannell do it then
last time on Shadowrun
I don’t got no hamburger
hold on a plane
Jim Nightblade and his Shadowrun crew
where is signs to find a BT El chip designer named Baldwin Brown
can a compound surrounded by BT laka better than life chips that they are also supposed to get ahold of the compound with his fingertip nanoweb by Vince the other characters did fine
sliding down silently like a deadly spider Jim Nightblade came down in the middle of sexually tense compatriot
Eve libertine
helping her down onto the floor
Nightblade then ask her to send us tumble mordegard the German guy is keeping watch from Beyond using his psychic powers Eve libertine he is out front. I’m sorry mercy God damn it that’s my wife character is out at the Southgate occupying three armed guards with various Dirk Benedict Acres Circle 18 shanigan
when we left them Nightblade and eve were closing the distance between themselves and the backs of the heads of the three security guards that we were about to shoot him okay
is that you did that
26 seconds which is almost exactly what the old length of expensive intro within itself that I thought you were going to say that you’re going to look at that leg of 46 minutes
Philadelphia Fire usually the master of brevity but you really wrap that pucker up
yeah I saw that it was because he was missing some shorts and information about holding on and what you did but the whole intro but put example I am not jamming I know Hayden
wow
Warrior burn
what is chopped all right
so I just some housekeeping up top it’s actually a mono whip not a nanoweb actually quite a bit thicker than a note
what time at 6 right
okay so I actually quite a bit
it was either did I leave the oven on or you are you got to be better than a line of fire on one of those guards from the front side that’s outside the Gate of the warehouse compound and Jim and I played it and I were sneaking up from behind right now correct will you were on the roof of the building occupied to send down to get with the gym like all right
drive to the gym night blade and I was it was he who guards will he still on the roof you’re about a hundred twenty feet off here I’m go down there
I’m I’m I’m I’m I’m down there what’s your guilty plus sneaking Dance plus something in parentheses
I think with 9 total last timer that was me shooting dudes remember that agility plus sneaking I had a tougher time with 5-plus looking at my sneaking 4 + 413 you all right you sneak down quietly and what where how far away from the guards hundred and 20 ft looking at you was were sneaking up behind them where can I get a shot on these guys can you see through my head no
that was me and character is Mercy but I don’t think they would say it like that thank you I look at them and I need to distract them
hey sometimes I feel like I’m no one can see me at all and it feels like you guys can really see me can you see me or see through me no do I no longer have any charisma
do I have career asking them question their answering I don’t I don’t get what’s happening flirtatious
why are you flirting with Spencer
alright well they’re still looking at me even though they said no right they can’t see through your head
I’m very I’m going to regroup and approached differently from now on I’m going to improve visibility of my stuff ready visible to human beings and two sensors and cameras and things like that walk up and just I have shot gloves with my gloves are electric I’m going to go up and knock these guys out but you got two guys. I got the third one cover okay yeah I’m going to go from my left so the third one will be all the way up my right or I can just cash it I can just have to spend all the other all these guys knock them all out when I get it within shooting range in The More Alive they’ll be tomorrow for their families
this is this is
this is Erin asking what what do we eat when we when we ended last time I had said to that group that they should stay and I was going to walk away and we ended on a cliffhanger and I still feel like we’re about to pull the triggers and shoot these guys they didn’t develop I totally appreciate it if that’s what we’re doing all right I’ve got my my second shot gun bullets in my gun in my gun and I put it on like like 3 shot pulse mode so how far away are you I tried closing it we start closing the Gap maybe you want to sneak up there until I can shoot him in the head
on your pistol probably about 20 20 you do that quietly
all is well okay guys went to dinner with the rifle I have attained at 200 armor piercing rounds I’m using for those waiting for this morning I pick a guy what was what’s with your guy look like Still Standing that’s what I’m going to shoot you in the guise of the point I can sell gun Jim which one do you want I’m starting from the left I’ll get the rice
okay ready and proofs as with Horrigan
suddenly I chucked three tear gas grenades
who is this guy they call me Epocrates
three tear gas grenade cuz I took a note I heal people for the for the highest bidder ounces into the Gatehouse of the guarding the gate and they all trigger going off Lee unleashing acrid smoke into the air the guards start coughing and wheezing and then freaking out and then you hear you hear a siren like a fire alarm going she going on I shit
do we know this guy who’s using your team he was there all along all right
Play Somebody That I Can See yeah you guys are together I’m a troll but I swore to heal people I have a gas mask I put it on all right good call these guys are these guys immobilizer when were they doing their coffin it’s it’s very you guys have opportunity to go right when you’re seeing these things happen as many people as I can
I took out my guy what are your pistols did I Jeff I know Dan’s pistol six altogether 4 + 260 + 10 10 Mi total of nine are remember you hit them directly in the chest it goes The Pierces straight through their armor for for Dan and knocks the guy on his floor is bleeding out the other guy gets hit with three of your stick and shock rounds and you see some electrical activity as he goes down to the floor convulsing there’s one left or did I take the shot I took the truck with my rifle
alright what’s your agility plus automatics
all right
all right you also hit him his head explodes
tight jar
the alarm still going off to your stomach
I can I can try I’m still wearing my my business where I run inside
I try to locate the alarm box alright you head inside the Gatehouse and it’s a pretty simple construction you think they’re you see a switch that activated that looks to be the alarm hello my darling I will I walk up to the alarm and I using my my attribute attribute of composure I’m calm and I try to make sense of the alarm at her the flip off the alarm using your composure you flip off the alarm the silence Reigns The Usos tear gas
sorry about the mess but it’s quiet
we still have that one guard inside that I only stun you can do is Nightblade you blew a dude’s head off in there we up with that one guy still down Spencer do we know how long I can last an hour or two. So he’s probably going to run back in there that’s probably where the target is and we got to we got to check out these crates for those chips you hear the sound of sliding metal is the loading bay door closes shut behind you probably depending on your orientation
loading the loading dock door is the only door into the warehouse will you guys came in through the ceiling right oh no not one that I’m aware of so I’m sure that the only cure grapple up to their warehouse roof alright you do that
I asked Ali for see if I go into a shamanic trance and I asked Ali project myself and if I project myself inside the warehouse to go into the room of those machines were in Ciara just just to check check out the whole face all right you see about six bodies inside surrounded by machines in our security devices six bodies in the main room in the in the room that you have an injured yet okay guys and I do I detect any any magic any Spirits in there it just regular Human Being Human alright guys got sick bodies inside that room
6 bodies are they dead branch do you detect enemies
you detect enemies where is the others 5 plus
in the building so that means that everyone in the room neither one of them is the person receiving
I mean it’s not really been established whether the person you see you’re seeking is now I are an enemy in the outside of the correct I’m going to go in there let’s all go in together let’s let’s let’s have each others back here I’m going to go in there
quantity to take my rifle to the stunt one too maybe shooting yeah I’ll do that while you have to get in the building for so how do you want to do that I have a grappling gun what what why do why do judges monofilaments that that that door open then we’ll be long gone by the time I get wakes up that’s like an RFID tag it’s like a tracking bug basically so you could stick it on stuff cigarette while all this bullshit going on
Nightblade monofilament that door up and let’s go in there with all do is all I can summon a spirit that goes in there and just knocks it like knocks him out with noxious gas or something like that
not not a permanent I’m Workshop in catchphrases
where am I
space with one of those guards you’re in the Gatehouse there’s there’s a dead Garden it use my skill of Disguise to emulate his body language
what’s your intuition plus disguise in is for a my disguise is 3 7 and I start walking towards the alright meanwhile Jim Nightblade attempts to monofilament with the door open but your robot finger Corinne’s off the surface of the door directing or monofilament whip directly right at you it splashes you what’s your armor
top right corner Farmers my old eyes it’s Farmers I’m looking for the word armors and it’s just the number to the Tapas tritest okay so you cut yourself open right in the Torso you’re bleeding pretty heavily thank goodness I’m here like through your armor like butter
let me fix that right up the door stands on opened now you’re all cut open a on you that’s what happens when you feel like that’s what happened with critical failure with your Mono Way okay hold on let me Stitch you up and try it again in a building with me here alone bleeding to death I’m trying to love two I’d love to get healed Epocrates for Major League
God damn it I’m about as proud of you boys out everybody
Tire bucket heater Ricky
are you giving him first aid he’s bleeding and I’m I’m in the warehouse you guys are I’m trying to give all your guys are doing come down through the the great that I came through earlier okay and then what door were you cutting I thought that I had done that so I thought I was cutting the loading dock door so that they could come in okay well then you’re inside and you failed to cut the loading door so yeah okay that’s true
try to get a little bit
Hickory Dickory Dock
all right this time despite your heavy wounds you managed to cut off a man’s size hole in the loading dock door
I jump through all right that he healed might but he’s bleeding bad you bet I will
let me take out my first aid kit here
I can heal its best used after the first aid is applied
call Panther Everett all until you receive something from the Franklin Mint
the tiny gold coin just to let you know that I’ve been here I’ve picked up a thousand fucking Punks on the street I can set you up to so much afraid I’m going to have to take one of your kidneys
I’m a troll I eat them after hours
I get one bro
this bomb know you can’t you’re too weak here have some analgesic you apply your first-aid kit and it seems to be taking quite a fact the bleeding stops completely and you’re all
I go I go up to the door or inside the right yeah I go up to the door and I and I summon a spirits of air I summon a I fart
I summon the storm cloud Mist Cloud Breeze noxious breath on them to level for Spirits all right what’s your sorcery plus are no Conjuring plus magic that where are you summoning what did you have for breakfast for the spirit of a are so it’s 13 okay awesome you take Serious drain you take about three boxes of drain as you summon forth this powerful Misty creature
it’s they’re going to the door and knock out and then knock them down
all right for the one who cast it blasted
who’s won the gold so that the spirit goes under the door right yeah under the door and starts missing all over the place sure
yeah you got a mind link to it
oh yeah sorry I did how did it come out
that’s the way it always comes out I just wish that for once that thing I was best that didn’t hurt people
are there all knocked out
the wife is making soup later and she always makes too much
Miss.
Steeler that’s hard and goes to us I don’t want to I don’t want to
whoever built that thing really knew what I was doing
kick the door down and go get these guys and then we have to end the show
I mean we started at 8:15 and I’m just saying
parks in alarms am I in the wrong phase
since I depressing unicorn with the wandering Minstrel show by Golden who’s have heard that there is trouble in this land some five hundred years hence to buy Tylenol with codeine
night mode you are surrounded by a noxious gas
don’t say anything on your face
cutting kick that door down so we can get in and we’ll be done by the Flaming balls of Kelly Ripa
trash and I must away for another adventure I will go on I am not gay and yet I make no taste for it, I’ll pull up here at 4.
Odell talk like that what kind of fruit baskets you conferring with on I played a specific I got about his sexual preference at the end
we didn’t even bring it up lazy wasn’t a black guy you brought up the rap
guy was good one of them was
is it is a door open so yeah it’s been kicked in by unicorn it is business now he’s done
all right man this is it safe for us to walk in there it might be a bit and then examine what’s going on teenage druggies they’re kind of just sprawled out on the floor they got microchip stuffed into their heads schools
get those chips gather ammo
good call gather up the chips the people come to and they’re like hey man give that back at the door he’s the only one inside the room but yeah okay with my power of convincing I look at the guys
hi alright we’re going to we’re going to take away the bad ones there’s some bad stuff that came down the Chute the air and I’m trying to help you out done but on low in case in case they are
I look around the earliest before a drug is the guy look for the other two people I saw I saw six bodies in there who who the other two what’s your perception + intuition
it is eight 8
alright using your Keen eyesight you see an empty table and behind the empty table a thin almost imperceptible seam in the wall a secret door o a threshold where is he probably in my right yep
attorney Craig Christopher coming down again good morning my better half Erin mcgathy Cornelius Anastasia Harmon
Max and Brian are coming up and rapping with us
turn that money wisely and everybody
take a note to anybody out there that wants to donate some music for us to plan the job have to listen to it and then maybe you’ll be on there we got to harmontown tumblr.com harmontown music.