Episode: 289 – Huh Huh Huh Huh Huh Huh

Episode

Episode: 289 – Huh Huh Huh Huh Huh Huh

Description

Our first show at the beautiful Dynasty Typewriter theater kicks off with an audience for the first time in months. Brandon Johnson haunts the theater, Rob Schrab makes himself mini comptroller with a mini podium, M.C. Gun Control returns, and Spencer …

Transcript

hello how’s it going everybody
June 4th 2018 harmontown is it a new venue at the beautiful Dynasty typewriter at the Hayward theater
right here at MacArthur Park and the prestigious prostitution District
I’m very very proud of you back in the more proud to say out loud to all of y’all harmontown is now in session
yeah this place is groovy Spencer Crittenden
oh yeah
I just to keep playing consistent how about a mayor up in this piece
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I need your feet do the HD
Michaels crafts
cuz that’s what you do to me
it’s pretty easy just like George
rhyming words
arrive when you’re rapping live to get some energy from the crowd then you wrap don’t be loud
thank you for setting me up for that there’s a lower bar for what
thank God
lonely sad too much chili
talk about bad news
Amira Dynasty typewriter rap and bugs.
hello Los Angeles
I can’t make eye contact with you yet I have you noticed I haven’t made eye contact with you this just feels right this smells like popcorn that’s me that’s me and I took you so long picking the shirt and then it was like there’s spots all over my wife yeah well let’s see I guess I mean
a new segment it’s called our new promised here at the at the new theater segments
segments, you’re going to be tired of segments before the show is over.
They’re going to Somers extra miles for this segment is called who are you kidding
with Dan Harmon
wait not to take away from how good that intro song was
you couldn’t see it but Brent Brandon Brandon Johnson just ran from backstage
the house with a piece of pizza in his hands like one of the boogens in in a quiet place
where did he say why she couldn’t go around there is there’s no around to go
he’s like we we call him in when you’re out of town but Brandon is with us he’s he haunts us like a little pizza ghosts, where were we
appreciate my can I run the risk of offending close friends really
when I say this but like you know when you know that you like is anybody who is actively working in the television or movie industry as a writer we know that you don’t really actually want to pick our brain
you want us to read your shity script say I just want to pick your brain that’s not true you know that’s not what you want to do cuz that sounds that sounds fun like you want to like actually like I want to hear all about like what you have to say but that’s not really did never works out that way when you say pick your brain you mean I need something from you I want something from you I want a favor from you that’s a lunch that no one’s going to show up for who you kidding can I pick your brain for a second
I have some dry cleaning I need picked up by 8 I just want to pick your brain and it’s all I want to give it to Rosanne but I also want to attack like this no wait what do you mean
now is the perfect time
I don’t know why Steven why is she in my iCloud what other reason is there is no she’s in everyone’s eyes
Rick’s assistant she’s working at competitive rates right now I really got to walk back from Roseanne and here’s why because I don’t I mean there was a time when all she was when she was just Brandon crazy lady with power and like I’m super woke and was back then
and and I had a guy had a girlfriend at the time that was like a media studies like he going okay and a list the thingamabob and she was having trouble with it community and then be seeing you guys and all the stuff and she’s like you know Rosie and went through what you’re going through with power are called they’re called crazy ladies by the like old boys network and so I only let you know that’s that was like 15 years ago but like that whole time I’ve always been late and then I heard they were rebooting the show and I’m like I saw like the people being like Oh that’s we shouldn’t do the stuff and I I got to say I was like
you know to the extent that we have to like be accountable to our tweets like our tweets mean anything but I did weigh in on the side of like hey come on let’s not overreact what if it’s like all of the family like isn’t that going to be a therapeutic and wonderful and had friends anyways
rabbit rabbit
you don’t have the app
I got my diaper I put my observation that came into the station and like
crab trap for Atlas news has a vacuum
Yeah Yeahs Showtime at the Apollo has the Sandman he comes out with a broom this is like the white privilege version of that
I was hoping that was going to be a lot more
tickets modern vacuum cleaners a little quieter a little subtler
all right there’s one more
put it on Loud Comedy entrance mode
okay
then you want to take it back to who you kidding
alright we’re back to who you kidding me that you got with my rent
these are things to make me
what what is the what is the vacuum
this guy is a watchdog group for -1 all right look I got to get this out I am segment OCD let me just Brett hello Dan haven’t seen you in a while busy thinking of segments of the Busy Signal ride itch I hope you got some oysters before as that fellow but guess what I’m at I’m about to go into
I’m going to I’m going to try tell your blue dream by the way if you drove her tonight your car is gone
Spencer Spencer are you sinking into the ground since the last show no Rob I’m just sure it is your table unfeasibly high or your chairs strangely let me know you know I’ve been losing weight it turns out
you can lose weight and more than one Direction’s
you take out free vertebrates like 7 lb now it’s amazing there’s a lot of life hacks that I’ve learned
do you know how much a kidney weighs
yeah I know I lost 40 lb
Spencer almost got beat up on on Hilary Dalton is going to be overloaded and then fall flat this is good this is good people like this
who you kidding when you say anything with Dan Harmon anybody in the history of the entire species across the whole planet has anybody ever
ever achieved
when being told to calm down call Ness
is anybody ever heard of been told to calm down and had as a result calmness come over then it’s never ever happened right and I’m going to I’m going to wait and I’m not going to get hyperbolic I’m going to cut it back to 90% I’m going to say 90% of the people who say calm down in a bit of an agitated State like crazy circumstances were there’s like a paramedic who’s genuinely trying to be helpful as I calm down like what do I do Mom like I got I got bit by a shark and I think it’s like you’re training to be a fighter pilot near like one of those big simulators and you start
and the guy that has the most irritating context of it all is it cuz I listen to a lot of True Crime shows it’s just like a fucking 911 operators like you calm down
demon knife item am calm down talking about if you listen to any amount of True Crime we all know what happens if you are calm when you call 911 you get thrown in prison
for twenty years because they can’t get past your fucking weird tone and the 911 call
it doesn’t sound like his wife got stabbed to me like yeah fucking calm terrified of somebody I love getting killed and I’m going to call 911 when I leave the store like if I don’t buy anything like I act like a shoplifter cuz I’m like well you should have bought something but I didn’t so I guess I look like I’m stealing something so I leaned up against the door and stretch and then I’m at someone if you get stabbed I’m not getting involved
and the person on the other end of the line first question isn’t about demon Knights
then fuck them man calm down calm down
what’s critical on a 17 to 20
there should be a bit there’s got to be a better way is what I said what he’s saying is people who say calm down who you kidding
do you have to have another one then my phone but it’s like garbage I added I but but you know I am so glad these comfortable chairs
made it all the way from starburns Castle
the downtown Los Angeles
these fucking awful pieces of shit chairs
they fit right over your head down very comfortably at the piano we’ve got some weird and wording in Furniture over here in from back when the behavior theater was built in the 1790s
Rob’s Rob for Pure de pollo
are you now are you narrating for the describing I’m trying yet
well the president’s wife is missing
who you kidding
I knew directory
Savages is a white wife isn’t that Scientology
Straub Drive map
shrubs wearing a golden hat
I guess we missed having an audience I guess
every week we spent four years in a comic book back room then went like two weird warehouse and now we found out the showman at Robert Lee is
I’ve been hiding it pretty good
Spencer is being diminished by his table
hey Robert for the cabinet of Horus
man read it is not going to like this
why did the guy leave a comment on my Instagram today as I looked at it and there’s one guy and hey are you going to address last week’s show I think you better go to the subreddit oh damn he went there holyshit first of all and Happy to prove him wrong I did not have to go to the store bread head feels fine but what it what did he mean what did you you got to go to supper at it if you weren’t around this
is it right there can’t be things that are only just got to pull out of what you’re doing right now is what they call refusal of the call of the sub-reddit triptych you are
hey Bitcoin rewards on the subreddit I’m not falling for it
anyways I don’t know this isn’t worth that worth it
it’s just the way that time cover your ears cannot get a Dreamin
I just want to I just thought it said I’m subscribed for some reason to this CNN news letter and Brian Brian Statler Statler still. He kind of does this little newsletter at the end of the day and he is talking about the are missing first lady and but he can interrupted himself do they had his little headline it’s like in this newsletter think this story is a talker
let me fend off some of the criticism I’ve already seen on social media or did I do I don’t know what that means quotes
hey I’m seeing then you should be paying attention to me because I am the news anyways first ladies missing I continue with this
this is a talker Parker is it let me fend off some of the criticism I’ve already seen and social media to know this is probably not the most important story involving the trumps right now thank you in a way that policy debates and ethics candles and abuse-of-power allegations are typically not turned about her
what were you seeing and what are you doing that is more news that paragraph seeing in this actually means he’s trying to shut the fuck up and let me fly
things weren’t stalkers and those are things that people are already talking about more than his yeah that was a stupid thing to have said and he said it
but then
at the same time as I said on Sundays reliable sources I think there’s a risk of some liberals falling into a conspiracy theory trap here by assuming the worst about what’s going on we need less speculating more report headlines saying that the first ladies missing maybe yeah
abusive relationship is Ben gleib
about how dumb I am and I’ll read the dumb like I’m sorry CNN’s like
and I’ll watch you or not it’s a story about how we’re paying attention to Melania missing wrong yeah it’s not we’re not doing it the perfect way
he’s doing it the perfect way
listen it’s a talker you need to take this shit to your water cooler but when you do don’t flip the fuck out you live times
don’t start don’t start going all crazy and wear engine foil hats and Battery which is going to talk about it it’s time to talk
that’s a talker
conversation comes up to me more as a think piece
this isn’t a thinker thinker not a think I didn’t think about it
just got to talk and talk and talk and talk more information per second being more overwhelming is bandwidth being spent on us talking to each other about how we should be perceiving things right it isn’t like what the objective information would be the cure to all this so I can look we could eat with its right but we don’t want to do that so we’re just like doubling down of the subjectivity and we keep going like all right and I don’t start receiving this the wrong way and don’t normalize this right
your normal the TV telling me not to normalize this is crazy yeah it’s I don’t know if tone policing is the right word but it’s definitely like the media being all like here’s how you should think and it shouldn’t be critically of me and it’s like well that’s what everyone bad does a Venn diagram so I don’t know it might be wrong to label it but it sounds like it right here to talk about that
I thought I thought you would talk to Brandon about doing a project now
10 racist
busted finally
-30 years we fought
you got me
you caught me seeing
he laughs he just went back into the night like the Phantom I think he needs a longer running start are you going to hunt this theater like like the Phantom of the Opera
Brandon I think he really meant it he wants you to come up here
thank you
Brandon also did stagework Showmanship been amazing so far Make some noise
god dammit
it might not be
maybe we knock it out check if there’s a button or switch on the mic yeah
he might have turned it off
jber Butner switch on the mic
you look like anyone that are fans
Jack Jack Jack
stage of starfucking with a wall he was helping I mean if someone doubt dope on the stage and started working with the wires I mean that’s definitely a lot better scenario than we could ask for Jenny can we get a mic check on you now you want me to turn that off for you exact how are we going to be specific or going when we put a little bit on
anime
oship gun control take a stand now pick a point left or right away
my name is
element of gas ever uses the phrase schedule
all right
he’s against gun control MC gun control the gun awareness it would have been I would have been but in my defense it was an organically constructed coming up with bit if I do these tickets are 50 bucks
like if you’re buying them you don’t even I don’t even care if you’re showing up there worth something signed
where is your bed I thought there would be a bed here no man that was all part of the old Howard Hughes like Darkness like we made it with her happy we’re doing segments you’re cleaned up and go free
hundred percent shingle free you got your you got you got your attitude all fixed? Am I up staging you guys are making no good hat and I’ve got a box in front of the definition of upstaging that you you stand up stage and you make your fellow performers turn their back in a little bit
come down a little bit hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, no one misses that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through the New Black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the theme to like to my own life so it’s always a little t and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker it myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
I have one more segment I could do a hell yeah you weren’t kidding when you said segments
my mind blowers from my therapist
I mean if you’re going to steal Nick Cave songs just tell him the crown
I’m Billy I know what do you mean by angle Billy Idol Nick Cave and David Byrne you’re right in the middle of a triangle
there was a better David Byrne in there too
Google
blowing you off.
How about Paul Harvey Paul Harvey Paul Harvey
Paul Reubens Paul Reubens
who you should do that
is that what you want buddy system
you at work
everybody wants to catch the racist what are you going to do when you take this time and into tiny preacher
Brent Brandon at Lucha Vavoom there’s a preacher character what’s it called it’s pretty girl
I brought it over I wouldn’t take that Podium from you
I would leave it to you
because as you see I’ve got the table brother
hahaha
White Wedding
Billy Idol
I know lots of them isn’t that is okay name that’s like his shot spot
I thought it was bad
Rowley there’s 17 of them in one of his song Black Nerd podcast
so come back to the gym at 8 Temple channels place called the fucking Dynasty Temple challenge at the Rita Hayworth
you know what’s going on when is launching a new spin-off podcast called Black Nerd first episode is all about Black Adam Ant fans damn Blackjack fans fans
deer energy
add appointment City right now I got so big I don’t know we saw you right now cuz I’m so high
in another Direction good good good with it
how to make a black jokes either
I don’t know what the fuck is going on Jeff is viciously anti-pot
hide he’ll come back
animal come out and chicken ocean
Pizza
Jeff Pratt Brandon of Deeds
you going to eat all your pizza now
that’s good so I mean I’m the straight man of my own show so
do you want me to do the therapist
I am a terrible therapist therapist what does I know it’s really frustrating to feel out of control and like everyone’s going to disrespecting the two very small things you’re trying to do over the course of two hours but I just want you to know that the longer it takes to do these two little bits actually the less we have to do

I know it is it is it’s awesome so I mean it in and don’t get me wrong it’s very comedic for you to be begrudging about this and don’t lose that but
but what I’m saying is this is great this is all great yeah Spencer next week please wear a black shirt
like I’m beginning of zardoz just kind of hell yeah I could be something if you come inside the crystal ball what if what if we got a green screen I just wear an all green suit and so like I’m just literally a floating head
don’t even have to show up yeah what if at the end of 12 episode run near Spencer was like I think this is my last thing I want to do and then he got up and under the table where 12 dead babies
for 90 minutes each
any cheap TV 100
zodiac signs
do you want to Sarah P
all better now or did you get your mind blown by the therapist mind blown
oh okay okay we want to hear these countdown
and now the top one
mine blower from dance therapist starting at number one
the concept of want vs. willing
yeah
so her example is what I want world peace I’m willing to be nice to dick heads today you know like you get you can have an internal dialogue what are you willing to do it like time it’s kind of blown my mind like I have applied it to writing and I was sampled stuff for a Palm Springs trip and I got out of the shower I looked at my toenails I was like well as could use a trim but were you willing to do and then I’ll pack later a pack last minute then I’m going to be like rushing to clip my toenails and then I just a voice in my head said are you willing to clip your toenails right now
the answer was yes of course because it kind of force is a dialyzer you like you if you can’t like High Road yourself or like are you willing to clip your toenails what kind of villain says no no I am not willing to cut my toenails
what was in where we’re at an impasse as the French would say where is the British would call it a regular standoff
upset that I didn’t think of it first
I have a question what what is this internal voice is it your voice or that’s great how do you get that I’ve been trying to pay 400k, what if your internal voice sounded a little bit
why are you willing to clear your to Ohio
Idaho
I will always forget he’s Hawaiian
I think that’s cool I mean I know you’ve like I always feel like my internal monologue is like I want to do this in this in this and then I come up with a bunch of excuses but it’s like you can say you want all sorts of things that you’re never going to put forth any effort for but then you convinced yourself that you are kind of but there’s good reasons but being able to differentiate that is like it’s an important distinction one-time play Across the Nation
moves at the speed of light like you in one Fell Swoop will get an entire day’s work worth non-working done at the very top of the day by simply going what do I want to write a perfect script right so nothing’s going to write like my thing is I’m willing to write for 4 hours if it’s easy not stop typing and I think she was in nam and then but it’s like you’re you’re trying to adapt Vonnegut it’s a go it’s got to be good or something and it’s like then nothing’s going to get done but what am I willing to do I’m willing to do a bad job of adapting Vonnegut for 4 hours and then I would like
by the way. None of this is a good thing I’m totally changing it eating shiting the bed and get about to get fired
when is it due by like a week ago or what are you going to do with that answer Jeff
what are you going to type what is that going to do for you how do you how do you spell TMZ are you texting Danza church just text you 2 hours ago thank God oh my God
finally
this is all I wanted
is this is all I wanted for us to be on the same page
can we get somebody from the stage tech department to spike with the tape were all of these tables are so it just never changes I want to party a little piece of table I really do like this it’s fun I like this stage arrangement
hey do you think do you think Spider-Man gets bummed out when people call him Webhead
I mean like it’s been around for a while and let you know. Cacas at Webhead do you think it’s not funny stop it cuz you’re not letting me go I mean we can’t tell if he’s got the mask on but I bet he’s a little like I don’t understand cuz he’s webs all over my body and he’s hilarious that’s like one of his big traits of Spider-Man he’s like this fucking hilarious wisecracking guy like he would be all like yeah I know that’s happened but would he be like oh yeah that’s like it’s like someone using a shity insult it has no power or what it be like come on why is everyone running with this
like pppp Spider-Man is
Spider-man is kind of like for better for worse he’s just Iron Man Junior homecoming spider Iron Man now that’s cool you haven’t seen it no the Iron Spider
I saw Spider-Man you got to like them sounded as if you seen that now I have it
Brenden Theaters right now
God damn you’re so fucking high look at the sky
who are you talkin to me are you talking to me
you are a suit like that and people think he shouldn’t be sad and realizing that
I got into a fight with a guy who is drunk driving who ran me off the road and I got in a fight and I got in the car and I’ll pick you up but he was too drunk at a fair fight you can’t really go back tonight thanks out of here cuz the cops are going to come and you’re drunk and I have on a sip and I was stoned out of my ass and it was so loud that one the cops rolled so loud so high right now it was so loud that the cops came and I fucking walked over the cops high as a kite was like officer
this man is inebriated
that’s crazy.
Two people who is a little curious
22 out of the car you want to get out of the car you want to see what’s going on for a second
that’s crazy all ride really bad out of me
I made you can’t fuck anybody up know you’re right
I would never fuck anyone up in harmontown yay yay applies
do we know if we love that after that lackluster Applause I’ll be out front that’s so crazy that happened today about giving my paper
wake of a bitch
isn’t that just you know a perfect metaphor
we should talk about this the album cover for the Fat Boys album where it’s them and they’re opening a pizza box and inside the pizza box is the three fat boys dressed as old timey convicts sealing the fat giant Fat Boys Pizza all-you-can-eat bottom and they’re like what are they eating eating we’re eating our own pizza we’re eating at Pizza Hut boy still with us are they all dead
I don’t know I don’t think so remember when the Fat Boys
the theme song
yeah that’s what it was
scary like the music video where they’re like they’re all walking up to the Elm Street house going to start wrapping and doing you better start wrapping for your lives bitch around the time when Gwen like horror movies were really getting it like people wear that like oh we had to protect the children probably they go They’re going to they’re going to really start being mentally freaked out by the end of this is ridiculous it’s not melted child molester with finger knives that boy walking around with the fat boys rapping about murdering children calm down yeah what’s your problem with that amazingly that franchise survived the Fat Boys
DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince did a nightmare on my street Freddy Krueger’s has more authenticity that if I can unload then
the executive branch
give it a look go home tonight check out the Fat Boys Nightmare on Elm Street 4 this isn’t when they this this was considered one of the best ones to out of the Dream Warriors No Dream Warriors
kind of scary
did that song
means out we saw docking live what how long ago was this like 10 years ago it was at the House of Blues guitar player come on keep the keep this fucking sweet train what about Bobby Brown’s Bobby Brown Ghostbusters 2 rap
thank God for someone saying it it’s 2018
yeah I know and it’s it will continue I expect to you know it’ll be above my neck level soon
rap and it’s soundtrack Wild West
Schindler’s List Joe Jumanji Sophie’s Choice
Titanic I heard silkwood Meryl Streep for the story about the nuclear contamination and Red October
the new Meryl Streep
I said name of everyone knows that are all about the Holocaust and then what the Will Smith rap about a quiet place
exactly keep her up at the feed house
DJ Jazzy Jeff said take Fresh Prince you better put that down I’m going to be quiet
we going to work that’s why you can’t even provide that’s crazy to pick Union provide size hey didn’t I hahaha
play I think I’m allowed to do that but I didn’t know it was real loud to smack and then the Bigfoot
haha and thank you for your incredibly condescending
I just want to play a Plies it just goes to show you boogens just don’t understand
Alien X applies and that that’s the applies that was like just finish
thank you for wrapping it up yeah I hear it’s pretty good Shadowrun
I’m in Shadowrun Shadow run hear about this this Shadowrun been in the news lately but it does though because it is like
we love that the secret word today role playing game but like he gets wired reflexes I don’t know it’s it’s in the I don’t know it just seemed very generous guys like arm turns into a gun like a bunch of like tropes from Shadowrun or hitting the trailer I was like huh you want to go see it with me okay
do they have some of that cyberware yeah I am in wetware that’s all I got sorry what were you guys going to talk about upgrade I didn’t mean to hijack it
seen it but I heard it’s really people are really enjoying it they’re really having a good time
awesome that sounds great you should take him all right all right
maybe not maybe you shouldn’t invite people to a movie
hahaha people got killed
we had a good run here yeah
have you checked out the backstage yeah there’s an upstairs like little kids like Ronald Colman used to fuck I Anton LaVey upstairs back in the 1930s
hey I went I went to. The ship before I came here.
play the typewriter
and look at the Highlight kit and I like everyone here like that I like the name and if if you need Jeff to like it Jeff will like it
you would like I know I loved it see I’m learning like that’s a great lesson it’s called D&D
a motherfuker
oh damn
Travis tan brand that you’re staying you can just chill if you want you don’t have to stay but we would love to have you up here it’s been a long time since we played our DND campaign
so we’re going to need a good beefy like recap on this one beefy recap
yeah yeah you know how I like my recaps
nice beefy
I want to get my beefy recap I want to take my BB read tab to be Siri cop.
I won’t not that kind of show
the shit he drags in from Whose Line
not going to be any clapping and when we file it under a tree called entertain our fair enough
you do you
go ahead entertain people see where it gets you
what was it that represent a certain other song we can recap
yes it was
Arno Funkytown what was I thinking of was I was under this Administration I can only say yes it’s a microphone. You scared me for a second
yeah
out in the street
out in the street
how do most threes Ono down to Electric Avenue
on the dark side
something something something I’m trying to figure out a ruin their clapping
I want to make them party to something awful like
clap review eat babies
I mean I take the safe form of causticity what if I went there you would have been fucked up
what have you been up to what am I been up to what have you been up to lately I haven’t we I haven’t you know I’m just trying to keep the friendship alive
staying in a
and I’m supposed to finish it and it supposed to be done what you should finish yeah you know what right idea
no I just want you to be happy and well
that’s how I go to Boston
Speed movie up everybody
hey before we go to D&D Spencer do we want to talk about the altercation that we saw today so I was leaving Little Dom’s today you’re leaving Little Dom’s and there was three three dudes and they were following the three white dudes and they were following a black guy without a shirt who long dreadlocks who is walking his bicycle and they’re following him and having a moving argument and so I didn’t know what the situation was but it’s always I’d listen to a podcast where someone like watched his five people just beat the shit on mercilessly out of this guy and it was just horrible and so I was like I don’t want to see like three guys kick the shit out of some guy so I walked over there while like and they’re like yelling and escalating and I didn’t get there until they actually started punching and stuff but like everyone was kind of gathering
watch throwing coffee at the Coffee Bean and then like someone knocked to drink out of someone’s hand and then it moved outside and the cops are called I don’t know anyway I get there and then like you know they’re engaged in so I just get as close as I can I might have to wait so this is Frank was it clearly like harassing and threatening the guy to make him feel uncomfortable and he was he was like I took you guys I took both of your asses on earlier and I won and then so then the guy was like you know come at me and then they were trying to like to kind to at 1 go out not like tag team but kind of like be ready to catch him off guard and stuff and so that was about when I got there may be about three or there’s a lot of dodging and stuff maybe about three or four punches and been thrown
then I just get up like one of the guys like right behind the guy and then I’m like hey can we stop fighting let’s please stop fighting can we not stop fighting just to stop fighting stop fighting and then they’re like you got witnesses your knock it off man we’re the victims he sees and I’m like you guys are idiots just stop come on knock it up and then he’s like no this guy is running them like you’re all wrong and then and then I heard sirens and so I walked away because they were actively like looking to get in a punch at that point because I was kind of the thing is you get worked up into this spell of violence and rage and like it’s very easy to break it but like you don’t see anything outside of that bubble when you’re in it so like I feel like I just like distracted them enough and then yeah I heard the sirens and I started walking away into the police guy like pulled a big you turn in like stop them and then the guy the black guy he like ran to the places like this if you help me out and so and then I was like I’m out I don’t want to answer any question
and when the police started to beat him. That was definitely my worry to go to the police and so I was like well at least comfortable with the police there was a lot of witnesses who is breaking up the fight Bowser didn’t know is that I was in the optometrist where this was all happening and I’m in the fight was happening in the front window where everybody in the atomic tree building was looking out the window gun like but they’re blind
hey stop stop stop playing stop and me and Randall Parks brother or sitting there going dude what’s going on we should do something yeah I would rather do something immense Spencer across the street
so I watched and Spencer had no idea that I was living in his world yeah I thought you were going to say you guys out for coffee this isn’t this isn’t how I pictured this
you should have gone with my bed
capsule DnD from Years Gone by
you got some of that at all
no no I heard one voice of descendants
where’s the music
come on here oh come on hear the music I’m glad to
let’s get on this roller coaster go to another dimension
all right so the game was on a mission to find patents Jim they were searching around and they were finding some Clues they kidnap the guy to get more clues but they didn’t really find any clues from that guy and then what’s his name diarrhea Junior he’s started snooping around on his loan somebody got in over his head and before he knew it he was kidnapped and locked somewhere so our heroes went to save him and they found in
it did something happen okay they found him and it was fun but they had to fight there was a fight they fought they were fighting there’s still fighting they got to save a DJ from the evil actors
Guild
now
on harmontown all right
I’d like to pretend I heard more of that than I did cuz I was handing out the character sheets but I think I’ll be all right how are you forced to do that
the first time ever I have my own sheet yeah you want to read off some some fast facts
you know I feel like you never asked me for a like I would have definitely complied with that I like to say I’m like an easy-going person I think
I want everyone to feel included
TNT beef
you guys you’re in a fight you’re in the underground area of the theater House of the of the Screen Actors Guild know what was it
it was a guild of like of acting people and you’re down there it’s like a wooden it’s like a wooden what do you call like a break room there’s tables and chairs and you see a dart board on the wall and there’s a map on the wall you were fighting and you you seem to have killed two of these guys the only one who’s left this is a dude holding a gun
it’s like a lightning gun that shoots lightning and he shot you would lightning before like entangled in a tree thing right thank you for bringing that up
Jeff turned into a tree and Lenny entangled everybody
yeah yeah
you are now used to having a table it’s nice good old-fashioned
where and which what yeah so there’s two corpses on the ground and then there’s one guy who’s kind of entangled in your tree that’s you and he’s not like super entangled he’s just you know he’s like wrestling with vines and such
then there’s everyone else
yeah there’s a door there’s actually three doors and like I said some tables chairs a dartboard
I’m at the still happening right now oh yeah alright so do you want who has the initiative he does he shoots you with a gun
that’s but you would Tangled him well alright it’s hard to digest a tree oh no but you’re immune to lightning Okay so
we establish then
yep
cuz I have my firearm I like fire abilities movies that way
no you’re a tree
but I absorb it as it cuz yes yes thank you that’s all I’ve ever wanted
does anyone else want to play
Tangled
my branches around him they’re mostly around his ankles like his arms are unencumbered and that’s why he could shoot you with a gun all right you do that I fucking to am I am I in Tangled in his tree branches
he did okay
did you have a question
okay alright cuz I’m going to do I want to do something do you want to prepare something
yeah what do you want to prepare a great you do that perfect
can I ship me out of the branches do you want to try escape artist or anything it’s a skill give me a text
15 all right you don’t escape
You Really Got Me Tangled here you can move your arms but you can’t move very.
Sorry diary I should have used my first turn to let you get free now it’s cool I’ll just chill here in your branches
let me go
yeah I’m like let me go I’m stuck in your branch is what the fuck
and then a bear walks through the frame
you don’t see that bear
God did not change the game at all happens I mean it seems to react very much but your guys you guys are going to freak out when I do what I’m about to do
Pete you want to go I guess Gary shambling Gary shambling invoke is that a thing that’s just that’s not passive I think you do have to invoke it Channel energy if I feel like if they got their asses kicked I mean it’s been like six months since they’ve been taking damage and they got some healing they could probably use some more healing and you could do both of those though because the aura is like a minor action
heal
and this is going to be great
okay everyone heals 13 damn that’s okay
all right so the guy with the gun he’s upside down he’s trying to shoot
whose turn is it my turn
oh no
Brandon stuck

oh no
Brandon High
sorry Brandon so fuck you up
you were going to fuck the guy up
where’s a good every was willing to say so right you’re just bluffing right you’re not going to fuck anybody up
I think he’s got it in him
I think that’s racist
when do I get to say what’s racist
he shoots a gun
all right you do that yes
I jump in front of the lightning because
you got this bro I got it’s a shambling mound is subjected to whenever this shambling mound is subjected to lightning damage it takes no damage and regain the number of hit points equal to the lightning damage do
those aren’t our mics for damage
alright so
wait what right what do you mean write what I just said yeah you’re reading right
yeah I just revealed if you make something up and sound like it’s reading I’ll buy it
but now I know that’s how I convinced you so okay you jump you jump in front of his lightning gun right as he pulls the trigger and lightning blast into your body and threw your vegetative Mass energizing the wriggling writhing viney forms that make you up you regain 12 Health Steven Dan get hit by the lightning as it cuts through the song you need to take 12 damage
you guys good thing you healed on Harry
yeah I am okay at the same time one of the far door doors on the far wall fly is open and you can see a little dwarf yelling and he’s just yelling like he’s holding what looks like a big baseball bat and he comes right towards one of you
he comes he comes right towards Jeff who’s a tree Chad Jeff know you’re right
I know this one
he comes at me as if you mean me harm he does yeah he’s wielding what it looks like a wiffle ball bat he does he brings a bat to a tree fight and a bat is smeared with boo a boy that got attacked me yeah yeah I know he hits you with the bat and you hear a pop and both of you disappear and reappear you guys you see both of them like dematerialize out of existence
what is the Pharaohs at work just hit me with a magic with a ball bat and now I’m gone he’s gone to ya you briefly you reappear in in a in a dark building filling with smoke
no you don’t know that happens
have we fucking met your tree you can’t talk I’m just smells like shit
am I in a different dimension and then the rest of the fight right now I know you feel like it the same dimension
I need some of the bear bear can you I’m a druid
thanks friend I just saw that bear walk by that’s different you can use your speak with animals to talk to the bear do you want to play the beard Brandon okay
that’s what I’m talking about
what can I do for you
you know those times you use trees to scratch your ass and climb up and get that honey and do all that shit I do right after I steal a picnic basket
now you’re being racist
how would you feel if you saw a door for a cup with a magic wiffle ball bat and beat up a tree is this bed covered in poop
is that what makes it magical I don’t know what I would I would like to tear him apart
let it be known I didn’t have to summon you I just have to talk to you
I’ve always been looking for someone who would listen
Russian mad because this fight is a talker you got to be kidding me I’m just fucking with you
what’s up who wants to do anyone could go do you stop being a tree okay
sultry once you stop
okay yeah I think you get plus 3 armor class the bear do you want to go where we going with a wiffle ball bat and you saw a tree who just talk to you and ask you to fight it just grew more bark yeah just go full bear on this motherfucker like I don’t hold anything back
fucking and I wanted to last as long as that scene in Revenant it will be an attack I don’t want to I don’t want to give I don’t want to give a bear bear notes this time the bear wins
okay where you are walking where you goddamn right
let us go forth and catch this little ball
I can’t do my other not yet
alright you hit him with your Bearpaw
you deal 9 damage you take a big chunk out of his side
yeah it moved it got moved to two places you guys should go in the back or can I talk to her friends right now or we know you’re in a different you don’t know you can’t have an audible here I want to ask you who’s in the room right now the guy with the gun
one guy in a gun and then the rest of us
Danny haven’t said anything for a while
I’m going to get this mother fucker
and the way I’m going to do it is magically
with a spell I like to call
inflict light roof
it sounds
its bite is worse than its bark
all right and you’re going for the gun guy
is he going to go for us
yes
all right you do it your hands crackle with Phil energies as you touch into his body to harm you can feel the shock of the spell release it feels like a very powerful electric spark and and it’s it’s crazy you could just be instantly his flesh just starts necrotizing and sizzling like the whole side of his body goes black and it is all messed up like he’s really bad
well that’s happening on a Captain America throw my shield in just whip it out I’m really fucking hard
you do that you hit him in the teeth
you going to bring six damage it can I go yeah yeah okay I do a slam attack
how much damn it what’s your what’s the how much damage does it do
plus 8 now that dice is like to do something
yeah Trudy 6 + 5 + grab awesome alright you hit him for 8 damage with your with your meeting paw vet vegetable
yeah okay Reggie file now it happens yeah now I didn’t know it happens my turn he he pulls out his gun and he shoots it he shoots is that Steve and it’s like click click click click click click like an empty and then he throws it at Steve is a critical hit can I catch it I want to catch that gun
it hits you in the face for 5 damage
owl and then you catch it you cut it
I whip it right back at his face
okay well tonight return but you could do that then at the same time you see the corpse of the one of the guys you killed it kind of like magically kind of lifts up onto his feet it’s very disturbing and almost like a puppet being raised by its strings and you can see he’s Ben’s like sliced in half by when he exploded but it kind of like you could see his sinews kind of coming back together and then he crawls up onto the ceiling and he starts hissing
we can do a cat so you might not remember him because this is way back when but one of the three guys had a big black robot Juggernaut arm kind of thing and he went as to punch you in immediately just exploded because his arm exploded but now he’s he’s seemingly come back from the dead and is hissing on the ceiling like a cockroach
when your hissing on the ceiling
man I’m going to engulf him all right let’s go back to the shack then
yeah you’re a tree with morbark it’s a tree morbark 1/2 yeah I think maybe you have a 1 left of my subject sure he gets a plus-one attack so I can make his claws or is Keith Frank the bear gets magic things you feel a magical sharpness in body or parts
old is sharpness
I do
I’m Chad what’s your name bird me mac
John incredible
10 years old
when you attack I think you’ll
all that crazy noise that you made when you were talking earlier it gets me going
Bernie Mac stand-up
what was the first show a bunch of stuff to do.
okay hold up this is a critical method when it’s better than that
alright you smash him in the face with a bear paw and then you hit him on the other side of his heads are holding him in the head and then you mall is face it’s great you deal 24 damage
Bernie Mac
all right he’s he’s like flailing around and as his face is being in hit Eaton he like lashes down he hits you with the band both of you poop and go outside and now you’re somewhere else but as that happens you finished eating his face so he’s dead now. You you’re inside and you’re a tree if the cops come I’m in trouble though after location
oh it’s fun in the in the in the underground place also the guys still has them on the ceiling and the other guy doesn’t have a gun because Steve caught it
am I grabbing him still which
I know you tried to grab him and failed I didn’t call that out but okay well thanks for telling me well I did not say that you grab them
well
I suppose I have no choice I’ve got to summon the level of monster that I’m allowed to probably loved one
summon monster 1
I’d like to summon a monster of the kind that can climb walls okay I hope there’s an ant in there maybe
you hope what there’s a white and Aunt I think there is a giant ant must have time to be you you love those big ants
ceiling
Omnibus Jumanji
I forget which what’s your race and class again then
I don’t see the world through that lens
I am a human size medium
gender medium
class
Human music lyrics
Aunt Jemima
some of them all right you do that then feverishly comes out of another dimension and climbs up a wall and then onto the ceiling and you can see is powerful mandibles snap the the guy right on the foot with his with his jaws and like scissors they just snap his foot clean off and it falls to the floor he hisses more screamingly
someone else
in golf what’s left of them
he’s on the ceiling yeah
you can’t reach what you can’t reach what if I jumped you can try that but you might fail well there’s only
yeah what are we where we playing at here why not eat lightning with my body I think I can do this
okay I do work I do like a I do them
throw myself at him to engulf them
and all right there’s a new jump up there after rolling up and do a bald like gather potential energy and you hit him but you just barely grazed him so
it’s not even a slam no it missed us a swing success we didn’t think you were going to make it didn’t even think you’re going to talk to him
thank you thank you it’s it’s you know I mean you’re not going to get anywhere in life if you don’t try you yes every you miss 100% of the chances you don’t take right that’s what they say actually Wayne Gretzky
God
know the room
Wayne Gretzky 9 episode was he in what’s what’s what’s what’s that new Red Skull in the world are goblin it’s a rare from dominaria
yeah that’s what we were saying it’s got first strike
she can deal when damaged every other character in the other guy’s dick oh man ran him up red is going to infect this met I tell you what standards not going to be the same after chainwhirler Goblin comes through still playing yeah more or less what’s happening
like a rooster Billy the Mercer San Diego
I don’t know the real spencer the gun that I’m holding is just totally out of ammo to be empty
that’s it just Alabama I can tell I get for sure tell that you can pull the trigger fix a magic thing look at it
how hard can this be okay if I give Gary the gun and then I charge the guy on the ground with my Elvis blade I want to I want to slice his head clean out he doesn’t really try and Dodge
you get them
oh yeah what’s your strength bonus it’s 18 + 407 damage you hit him in the neck
it doesn’t go through but it’s real deep and grow it to me
it’s not like it goes fine steps you need to you’re scaring people in arms I’m sorry the blood shooting everywhere yeah it like it went down instead of like sideways through his neck so it’s just kind of like he’s a cleft open kind of in his collarbone area and he’s just spewing examining the lightning gun and just take a step back and go
I mean I just met you guys but I mean you were beating up the tied up person to my living room like earlier today and now you’re you’re cutting people’s necks
I don’t know I’m just this is all being said with my face cuz we’re this is all happening so fast but my expression is like
I mean I mean I give you if you give me a glance you would probably go he’s questioning the what is going on
you were you would be in a room you know and then somebody says something and everybody laughed but you didn’t like it you were right yeah you know like one of those
yeah
you’re going through all the stuff that when you retell the story later you’ll be like and I’m like yeah I was like and I was like what the fuck is going on here I am not I do not want any part of this and somebody’s would say you said that I was like I was like
yep so is my blade still in his neck no I mean no part of the attack with draw the blade and stuff
plant the blood is is is weird to me right it’s weird know your carnivorous plant if we water him with blood will
but you eat blood
thank you Steve
what’s happening Little Shop of Horrors
like going
is that what I’m doing
bull I mean it’s your choice but you’re not unused to blood because you’re like a part you’re like a shark you know it’s late for your poop
is a poop fertilizer like
I’m with Carlos on this one I think you like poop night nitrogen and the DM so what’s this guy the guy on the ceiling he’s been here saying it was more of a screaming Hess he jumps down onto the ground and got grabbed the guy who who was holding a flaming sword before he dies and he plunges his mouth into his body and start sucking out his blood and he’d like some hot like he sucks them dry like a husk and then he just blast newly empowered he like he does a shoryuken uppercut and blast through the ceiling
while hissing and any like ninja flips like a crazy vampire out of the building
all white
yeah
the plot thickens we’ve not got a single answer on what the fuck is going on anymore it’s filling with smoke and your bark is thicker than ever
can I
my regular form 100%
want to pick up that fucking teleportation wiffle ball bat I want if I want that’s not there it’s outside I walk outside and go get that back okay you see a bear he’s eating a corpse
I walk around just kind of testing things at like this like I see like a like a like the edges of the doorway I dropped the bat I got to the bear estate love babe Bernie Mac when you’re done I got to say I really appreciate what you did you need the fuck out of that dude
stand with me let’s hold hands
hope for your palm of my hand and I’m going to take this back and I’m going to help us both at the same time with his Bat and see if I can hit me with that bat
I will do it like this I will do it like that I will do it with a wiffle ball bat
all right if he consents to that sure right that’s cool Works maybe you could try to dodge any way you do it you teleport 20 feet up in the air and fall 20 ft
are let your legs hurt but like you don’t take any damage all right
I decided to make amends like I don’t know what’s going on I just tapped myself lightly on the head with a bat you tell if you disappear
hahaha where where do I go all right you reappear back in the room with everyone but without the bear
one of the bear alright you reappear outside 30 feet in the air and you fall
no damage not yet
yeah when you were in the air when you were Airborne you could sue the bear for me I’ll break your fall your 30 feet in the air that happens
I already landed the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
you let me finish eating this dude in the band still smeared with poop out the whole time
all I want my cinema
Mind’s Eye is for me to
to the rest of the party with a bear and a bat covered in poop and not give any explanation about what happened as it relates to the bat we can have any rabbits to wipe my ass with
I’m put that all these jokes in a book for your grandpa
unicameral
yeah well you didn’t do anything you want her back in and yeah there’s a guy screaming and bleeding
it’s great
Chad back
and look at the fur on the sky so smooth it’s supposed to
beautiful
Frank is going on
crazy where did you go I run around on arms and we should probably take him prisoner
we can get it that why do we have him dig his own grave and just
thank you all
thank you all for coming down during the 1st Timothy used a telegraph where were the second place is called
can we connect broadcast
Brandon Johnson
Steve Levy
Church you song Zack right here on text Chris Sarah Vanessa earlier
drive fast and take chances we love you all

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