Episode: 291 – Grimlock Love Slimewave Pornography

Episode

Episode: 291 – Grimlock Love Slimewave Pornography

Description

Dan’s back in the Rick & Morty writer’s room, James Adomian and Rob Schrab face off with cartoon voices doing unspeakable things, Spencer says Binkis a lot. Featuring Dan Harmon, Jeff Bryan Davis, Spencer Crittenden, James Adomian, Rob Schrab and Stev…

Transcript

call Ganga
untappd
welcome once again to the Doubletree in Sweetwater in
extended stay hotel near the Hayward senior first dynasty typewriter once again very happy to announce to all y’all is now in session
sorry for the late start on this make up for it without Gamemaster pressure Crittenden
oh yeah
oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah
everybody say
Springer the mayor harmontown Dan Harmon
thank you yo yo yo yo rapper rapping on just the thing you see when you come out of the top of the show
it comes out of your dick
and it goes on the floor and then you wrap a lot more and then you want to wrap last
you’re a victim of your own drafting
just look at your phone and try again
I’m not in charge of this is Zach in the booth is running if I I don’t have the button on this
listening to Inner monologue
Noah
I forgot my water I’ll be right back what are you afraid of
you afraid to start the show by just looking at people and being in the mall
engaging me
my name is MC fear cuz I don’t want to be here the world’s falling apart thank you welcome welcome to
I should either commit to arrive at the top of the show or I should I should just say thank you very much and then proceed right now yeah I don’t know what I’m doing we’re just a moon with the live audience so I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to start it I don’t think I’ve mentioned it before I have a bad thing in my throat so that’s why I am and I have a little surgery and take a little polish off of my vocal fold and I can’t talk for two weeks is not going to be exciting for my girlfriend
but don’t worry I’m already I already got a nap I’m already working on replacing you listed as a good friend Dan is already I was thinking I’ll get a little chalkboard like Beethoven and write things down and they get the doctor give me a little button that I can wear that says I am going through with Dan because he is a check no genius instantly got to work to help me is good friend.
hang everybody how you doing tonight you can put other phrases that were talking about
maybe like it like some fan out there somewhere they could just make me like a big smile If MP3 is of some of my favorite phrases and I could just come out here and just DJ my
my own inimical sense of wit and wisdom to put this one in here
do I have to be British
and then of course my favorite
then. Sounds like you should do it ran really understand then that sounds like you should do a rap that’s good I’m just read is raining and just trying to get done with this thing and I just want to kill myself but but it’s probably good probably for the best Twitter for the most part and that’s the medicine I’m having a good time at Rick and Morty we’re back in the writers room for this are like stuff
add see I wanted to chat while he’s at he was for my notes so there is this there’s this button
I talked about this last time I don’t believe so you know there’s a button
I mean it could be I mean that we talked about buttons all the time how do you know if you’re working at Rick and Morty in the old and that there was this it was this beeping sound that would happen all the time that I always thought was a frenetic version of weirdly a rhythmic version of what I would like some kind of like you know what hearing impaired or visually impaired I guess crosswalk audio I think sometimes they make a cuckoo sounds the crosswalks for the for the folks that can’t tell see the the the the walking through people pictograms and you better tell them that
I’m sure there’s something I just did someone must coordinate with them but I always thought that maybe there’s some version of that cuz you just hear that
just coming out from the window
and energy and crazy in the one day I go I go down there and I’m going to go across the street to the liquor store and I got and I hit the button for the crosswalk and it goes you got to be fucking kidding me
that’s what people are doing like like
the end of the trying to go out look out the window and is it everybody is at
I have so many questions for this person so you live in a society where you are fine with the fact that this button really just doesn’t work but you are not quite to the point where you’re going to be Han Solo and just bound across the street because fuck that button doesn’t work and that’s fucked up but I’m going to press it a million times like it didn’t work again it didn’t work again it didn’t work again like you said you think the button supposed to work instantly or is it that you think it’s like a like the like a like a slot machine card game where there’s a window where is snooze you lose like I said check back in with the button and you’re you’re you’re touching your purse fuck you lady that’s why you’re just like like I don’t know when you when you decide I know someone who engineered this thing to give you the feedback of yes the buttons been pushed because obviously some engineer for the city like came back and got guys
I know this is hard to believe what people are pushing this thing eight thousand times a minute sure it’s not like years and every human being that goes to that crosswalk just like the old young like whatever like they’re just like a Jeopardy like the person across the street Hit it first and you logged out and got to hit the button a bunch of times Jeopardy buzzer before the little light goes on that says you can now answer the question that’s like a thousand times because they don’t push it I would go I would push it once and I would go well if it’s going to be like that fuck it and I’d walk across the street and if the cop was like your jaywalking I’d be like you better prove to me that that button works
show me how it works and then they’d be like where I get to go across the street any time I want
what kind of crazy kind of layer some sweet tracks that we can have a full song with all right well I guess that kind of shit to bed I thought we were like in Kansas City or St Louis or somewhere and walk
walking and I let you know.
If you if you hit the button and it and it’s not time for you to go. Well yeah they’re telling you don’t want to start walking hey the buttons been pushed
you’re good until an entire cycle of getting what you want either happens or doesn’t happen you definitely only have
like an elevator
an elevator I’m like a six-year-old kid think about it like spaghetti biscetti elevator people waiting to cross the road and it was just standing there is someone trying to cross the street they going to get hit by a bus I just really alarming
new buses that are silent completely electric to kill everybody the whole point of a bus that you can hear it coming
the fact that somebody was smart enough to see through this and make some money
you know people ask me being your your kind of a social media Master like
I’m looking to spread my influence boost my signal do I get more followers how do I get my I want to be able to make a difference in the world and I don’t have the reach that you or Joel McHale have I didn’t I didn’t I didn’t accidentally get born right right right around the time that would make me 30 when Twitter was invented so now I got a fucked-up username and 20 numbers long and I got two followers and I don’t know what to do and I say here’s what you do
you just you just like go on to Twitter and you look for the things that are going to retweeted by the thousands who likes reading that and then they could preach we have to sign it and then you click reply to those and then you just argue with another person who has two followers if you do that for eight years I promise you you will gain 5 followers
because you’re performing for an audience of two and your fucking idiot anyways and why are they taking babies that seems bad and there is a 10,000 retweets you know what the job is kind of done like they’re not really a dragon for you to sleigh and then you just because I just looked at the responses was like people that like what do you think about the ramifications if they would just fucking tweeted to like like on your own thing because of an eight people when you see it you who you think is reading this
where do where do you argue when you look at what are you cut you driving this person’s wall and going like me
kind of weird just because you always look at the look at the number of retweets and likes to sit
eventually I would bring you out
remaining of the night blowing it up
I tried everyone
leaving now
it’s such a good show last week
yeah nobody was nobody was playing Cookie Monster share games
yeah I know
oh wait that’s avascular feedback right if I bring the microphone over here isn’t that
thank you for not get some Kinks to work out
that was a great thing to happen after death
oh boy you know
Seven-Ups really got to start bringing their A-game I think I mean I think Sprite is winning this white soda or
remember remember remember the uncle it hit me that used to own the fucking Airwaves man now I go into a restaurant you know I said like seven up they say right okay I mean like when’s the last time you had seven up honey be serious when the last time anybody had seven up at a place of business
you know
they really I mean I know they just a backed-up is Tortoise and the Hare do you know they were just like what are you going to do okay slice all right yeah you going to try to take us down here to try to take down the gun, we got the. We got the rent. With the sunglasses man you’re going to try to take us to okay fine whatever and they’re hanging out and Sprite juice is like slow and steady wins the race man and a fucking dick and they took it over they took it over it’s God don’t go over with man what are they doing what are you fucking doing 7Up get in the game fucking Stark ideas give me ideas of it up when a particular campaign
what I mean Jesus fucking Christ
don’t you K I mean like really I mean dammit
I’m not alone here with this trying to be a big bubble up bubble up pretty soon man
is that the name of a also it’s right alternator like the love from
rainbows
what you’re saying is 7UP used to be used to own the market because they were the pecan call alternative right but no caffeine
they have the steel vagina guy in the fucking commercial deal the vagina
yep and he’s done
yeah there must have been some Steve Jobs of Coca-Cola
I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know I mean I just you know I mean like you kids know about seven upright anyone could be something something people don’t know about what our first guest Spencer
Spencer what is your opinion why do you have drawers in front of your desk
I have to go.
I said I probably got a piece of paper for ours
what’s on the other side
like I like the subscribers more but even they sometimes listen to audio only but I’m saying like it’s you know last week that fucking Apatow killed it like great and then listen to it
I want to track the actual desk
do you want to be sexy man
play for this shity like reply wouldn’t event designed to go up against the wall
it’s not like a command desk are you okay by the way like your Instagrams are starting to look photoshopped does Myspace angles it turns out you know you can take pictures from flattering angles holyshit
you look like a God damn pirate I know it’s amazing I was upset I mean Happy Spring on an old friend
I just didn’t want to have to wait 15 minutes before you can freak me out like I fucking what the heck am I pedaling or something like that I can’t come out I’m a second-class citizen. I guess what I have no idea if you’re ever going to bring me out there I have to come in when you have you have no idea how do I hear you have no idea
that’s very okay
oh yeah
I was the first guess right yeah I was hoping you didn’t just accidentally steal someone’s butt
guess I’m a fucking part of the show that comes out later
tell you can even hear me trying to I was trying to get you out here years old
I love the shows have friends
I love the show like takes a friend out to the lake in like talk serious stuff
it was a friend of the show everybody that I know it was you Camille
he’ll be back he’ll be back we did not kill him how are you I’m great I’m fantastic all my projects have been cancelled so I have nothing to plug
I’m free I’m liberated thank you he knows Gorka I was actually watching sometimes. Sometimes harmontown highlights suggested in the YouTube margins and you get yourself Market in to you yeah I do and I swear I don’t know I mean I don’t know what the algorithm is because I hate myself that’s probably it like I’m sure I click on it that says like I’m going to ask anyone in Star Wars like jolting himself to tend to just go everything’s always been shit and then there’s like people out there that all they’ll pull like little clips of the amazing moment and I’ll give it a nice the first time he was coming out of the show and it was here
and scrape the Meltdown Bernie Sanders debuted on harmontown
and the pool
the mess that at this stage that became coated in blood was so clean back then that you can see me not knowing I had asked the words Brown who is Bernie Sanders and that is a big Ben Carson I was like oh it’s Ben Carson. I’m introducing why you think is Ben Carson I don’t know either of their name and then you come out in these wigs and yes there were two wigs on the side of my head at the time to really awful wigs like bobby pin together and both on backwards it was very good yeah yeah that’s how you that’s that’s that’s DIY fun version of like I do always like like those be that feature in variety or something about like I owe this guy got cast on SNL and who little did he know that Gary Hart would become such a thing because of that was one of his Impressions and but you you just did it like yeah there’s no.
your Bernie Sanders became like a cottage industry that you you controlled and yes look as old Industries believe that the industry should be strictly regulated there should be no monopolies and the workers should take control of the unfortunate soul
were there any little tidbits are you tired of the ride of like holyshit you started you got in the ground floor of this impression of this guy that has become like the Tony Stark in Marvel movie that’s lasting for years but I thought I was doing an impression of someone who was doomed like guy I try my angle was like within a week 30,000 people crowd then I was like it’s not the angle anymore
when I first started doing it was like this is the biggest crowd I’ve seen hahaha big laugh but after a while it was like I can’t believe I’m playing room too small which which I assume if he were up here. I think he definitely started in a Volvo somewhere whenever I see a good Volvo or an old Studebaker on the road I’m like that’s Bernie Sanders car was there ever any moment that that really like where the absurdity reached a height for you wear because the political fervor of all of us and the fact that you’re out there doing it was there anybody like I don’t know what I’m expecting to hear like someone yelling hey James and then like throwing paint on you and don’t like making fun of him you’re part of the problem or the opposite like likely there was a couple of good but broken brains that thought that making fun of Bernie Sanders is like not allowed cuz he’s perfect and I’m like no I like him
imeco I am a second Bernie Sanders
I’m trying to say the same thing as and get the message Amplified and also work in some more radical things like I got to call for the legalization of psilocybin mushrooms which he wouldn’t do but I was like I’m going to do it already piece in the New York are they said that your impression of him might have cost him two and a half points in the primary in New York
where there is like a nail shaping therapists talking to a desk with drawers and it was actually it was my winning caption that wasn’t even one that has
but sometimes people thought of former advertising that it was really going to be a Trump versus Bernie debate when we were on the road and me and Anthony atamanuik and in Boston there was a big sign on the front door that was like Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders will not be at the show tonight he’s a comedian Anthony Trump impression fantastic and was like a lake but everybody’s like I mean that’s a guy that’s like you know on the ride down the road I do is do a trump impression cuz I feel like I have to cuz I went to you I was in Europe and I’m like the American who does Impressions and if like if you don’t do a trump impression there’s like you failed made it seem like there’s a surface that’s just like bass like George Bush
I’m Donald Trump I don’t know I tried it is my favorite he has that he does the breath a thing and it works just 1/4 of the time but there’s there’s something I love that Donald Trump speaks like he hates people from other cultures and places and races but he speaks English in a way that would be useful if you were learning English for the first time or if you’re teaching it to someone because he uses very simple sentences and easy words he’s like we used to be bad we were so bad in the past we used to be bad
now here in the present we’re getting better with so much getting better and in the future we’re going to be great we are going to be great that’s all three possibilities
he’s conjugating Carlin set dude like
am I on the play-by-play
you got more if you want more stuff you’re going to have stuff to put your stuff in. You did that man I ain’t tried to come in and join the party and I killed it I don’t
you have owners you think you’re free you have owners I mean come on I’m dying
all right that was a George Carlin thank you
I like to think of them as hard cradles their hard cradle
think of them as big boy pants
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss go in a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, no one but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes out the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little t and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema what Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
I want to check in with you guys excited sorry oh okay okay so weird things at once going like like where it was like hey this is Miss information and then she’s like watch like four minutes of it when she’s like this is the reality of it and all the stuff
Waiting in Vain like being alarmed and going like boy does this feel a lot like like something from history books and things and all the stuff and then there’s like there’s one chorus of counter argument which is this it happened under Obama to and scattering of like signals and I just don’t know if you post any of it well A good rule of thumb is everything Republicans say is a lie so if you start from there no but but specifically I understand that my understanding is that policy that everyone’s pointing to in bad faith to lie to people is that unaccompanied minors found at the border without parents were detained so that’s not good but I mean you either leave a kid in the desert or you don’t leave because it’s it so that mean it’s not it’s not a comparison also you know Obama was in grade Hughes the before Trump a real the porter guy but he he got him out of the country he did
keep them in concentration camps so it’s it’s hard to really compare the two the thing is politicians are bad even when they’re not as bad as Obama’s bad even when he’s the best president I know you know but he was he a so does that answer your question or mine but yeah I know I think you owe us. But I’m not sure it’s perfect where is a lot of stuff going on in the news and I can’t tell my ass from a hole in the ground and I’m too selfish and rich to really care that much that’s when I turned to my friend Spencer for Spencer’s play knees
last time on Spencer’s planes
I know I know
do you have the code senator
what is ketchup
you bred Raptors
wow it seems like we missed an episode
yeah I think I think most programs that are evil originated in some version two people didn’t realize we’re going to be so evil it first but you did Obama did not have a clean immigration policy it was bad time saying hey eventually someone’s going to get a hold of his power and abused it yeah and conversely Obama got blamed completely for the Drone killings which were very bad but guy do I guess we’re just paying the price for a hundred years or just just go and politicians and the price
like I like we did but we do we really have to admit we never should have got those guys off those soap boxes
things were all in a lot better after throwing tomato Adam if the politicians can’t be picking their pockets when they got their thumbs up
whatever happened to

whatever happened to get old with a little timer
but the fact Eddie Roosevelt was the most attractive fat man
I can imagine he was like robust
but that that that memo that people are tweeting it where it’s like signed by sessions and it’s like it’s like zero tolerance like here we go that’s the real thing that’s not like the lives going lower connecting those dots it’s like that that’s that’s the key right is that is that they were like oh let’s Jack it up like what does it matter whether they intended it or not there’s that motor boat that’s like a bunch of babies being ripped from mothers arms and they’re like either when I can’t tell as if because it is as if they were like yeah there’s going to be babies ripped from mothers arms but they’re going to be a certain shade of brown baby and brown arm and it’s going to be a certain number and we’re going to keep ratcheting it up or like it’s just they motorboat in the no wake zone just going to go
and pretty soon it’s all about that wall negotiation right is that a real I think that they intend to cause misery for non-white families mostly at the border and at other places where they detained immigrants and I think there’s people that want there to be family misery
they say that out loud they’ve said that let me before it became controversial because we didn’t have pictures they’re like yeah it’s going to be great we’ll be separating families and they’ll be like I don’t want to separate my family I’m not going to come to America like that was what they were saying this is the plan but now that it’s actually happening there like this isn’t happening but you know before it was like a political issue you know they’re like no it would be great we’re going to separate families like in that was just you know what they were openly saying you know how you’re compromised wall babies
they’re already there
two birds with one stone.
It’s called compromise.
I think you were wildly misread my points
Big Brown
kids are making a Thunderdome people I thought maybe like he’ll be white well-fed fat white babies that are like facing Mexico and us in a sign says we already have so many babies
don’t come in here with
I mean I hear people say oh it’s usually it’s it’s it’s not helpful to say that they’re not season I hear that I’m not sure where I stand on it but but definitely think of argument
early Nazis there at least like the bad guys from Children of Men
World bad thing I’m going to stop at yeah I know I don’t like Nazis maybe there’s a couple like this brother will churn coming through like they like you can be a Libertarian a list of the show you could be Republica physical log cabin republican like. You probably know that you’re going to go always a big fat blowhard welcome here and every Market
Samsung was the most a political like kind of like good guy like so much
fucking hate him
you know I have one guy just like what do you want to talk about farts for an hour cuz it’s just you it’s not just you trying to connect with you yeah you’re not giving strong enough credit for trying to connect with you earlier
I don’t want to suffer the illusion I never see you anymore yeah you’re not stopping me you look like a fucking like dead scarecrow over there around here
loyalists like like what building in my crowd
I don’t have to go most dangerous section of all my people are coming here to see you I see your T-shirt shop I saw your t-shirts
why you so mean you’re still angry anyways Nazis all I’m saying
look Nazis all you got to do it like this faction of people that are like me and like not see why do that that’s terrible the problem is totally intellectual logical guy who hates over reaction I’d like to exterminate over-reaction what’s the magical Discord why are you saying that to me all the time that seems logical person to definitely not an option I just happen to be arguing for calmness and discourse and both sides like like like like to see those people why are you talking to me about whether or not we’re not see them
I did already on my way I have a spoiled baby can I start punching you yet so I got too much time left it would be like some bunker where he was like where is like we have 40,000 trolls we can send it harm and you’re like honest about this fact you’re going like you know what we’re never going to turn not see this isn’t anything just just will you please help you so much would a 1933 Germany because you think you’re going to see a description that’s going to be like like just just just do an hour of fucking research and if I’m wrong you will be so much more armed and their next argument you’ll be able to go there’s a lot of differences here but I’m afraid you’re going to see that everything has a ramp
everything starts a certain way and the ended marginalization and Institute of of of it is like it all takes the same form in the beginning and it’s all very like argued about and people are always like amorphous and blurry about it like wild regimes change hands and cabinets switch around and everybody has these arguments and it’s like the things that don’t change just these brick on brick on brick buildings and policies and things where people are separated and people are alienated and people are fucked there’s a there’s like a long track record of other bad fascist dictator’s in other countries that this is not always like explicitly there’s other guys there’s no shame I would love to die like to
this is my style I love to jump the gun on my Hitler comparisons that’s just me I’m a gun jumper on the Hitler comparison I like to not wait until it’s actually Hitler the early bird gets the Hitler I’d like to be wrong a couple times but that guy wasn’t Hitler he just hate
and wanted to be senator
when you go anti-semitic Senator that would have done great things for healthcare reminded me of Hitler
alright let’s move into the fun things Rob take it away entertain us
Ricky from the arms of your mother and stick you in a fucking cage what what did I ever do your part of the show
ask me some questions but what about Transformers what about soda
I like soda I’m okay with Transformers hey have you do you have you seen this with the toys that made us on Netflix they did a whole truck transport right couple of them did a whole Transformers when you’re all great about Trent you love Transformers right it’s pretty cool it’s pretty cool you should check it out can you name all five Dinobots
what is the first is Grandma coming right to scabies James was
together he would like layer over the skin of the big guy
oh man how amazing is slag
snarl
thank you used to hang out at craft Services is that the song that the Brian today was he in the Brazil Broadway show inspiration it was rent
Grimlock and for Essence was the breakout star of the Dinobots he was a Joan Jett
interesting Transformer because his head his robot head was the size of a caper and it was nestled deep within the chest of a of a of a t-rex with a much larger where Majestic would have a brain the size of a pea Daniel all right if so facto
Rob which yes q e d which
which three Transformers do you think you could do a passable impression of any Transformers Starscream and Megatron at a barbecue do you have any gluten-free options
scream you are embarrassing me
find ticket praying for
I am the leader of the Decepticons
that will take three inner child Q
hey have you have you checked out this line wave pornography
does that involve the false dicks Starscream
that squid
yeah
Grimlock Alliance slime wave
Grimlock have an eyeliner fetish
Lime Wave Grimlock not know is at Norman clature but for a long time Grimlocks been consuming lesbian strap-on porn
in which women wear pantyhose
Floyd worms that shoot match the size I am as a robot I will hold you
lazarbeam
transform distribution
OK Google
Gloucester
call Pat versus tape deck
it’ll be the battle of the cassette guys
Oceanside
colors
are you a robot named The Jazz
well I’m iron sides and I don’t see a problem with it as long as we can get a lot of money van arguably the least fear some of the Autobots picture of the coastal Elite
Grimlock already empowered women fucking each other with giant big dicks Grimlock like look at their legs while they do it
scream pull me out of Grimlock size
I think the word fool is only ever said by a villain to another villain
pictures of your queue Burris all right all the shit
now you guys did you guys decide Cobra Commander and you do just drove isn’t it that’s the same to voice yeah but their status is flipped
we’re here in this empty void space with no other suggestion or character you and me got a suitcase full of props
cam is a salamander Western continuous and Western
that’s not it’s all right if you reach for it I laugh to you
I’m reaching for it
hi guys it’s Peter Pan tour
why do floating so high up there come down here
I just want to let you guys know I really appreciate you making me out of the DNA of six of the world’s leader Idi Amin
I feel like it was like I was like all of the world conquerors with a convenient sidestepping of the West shopping list in the Attic room waiting at a young age
I don’t think I did I just say why would we have another big bad you know we have we are at the position in his tank and because you aren’t good enough I didn’t have to be float float
scary lamp glass ojek Megan’s Law
cars games
robot
power bottom
sorry bro
what about
I want to be all right but she would have to have like an internet Force now you know they probably get most of their work done with like box worms and troll Farms Southern cuz your barbecue and I don’t never never heard my voice I was more than Transformers
what did BBQ sound like
all right now do The Banana Splits
I’m getting into the strip
Spencer Hey guys
hey Joe’s base was always a real like I like I just a nice commute away from where Cobra was like I don’t want to go all the way so ironic with his neck Robot Chicken but I want to do like a madman level workplace comedy that’s it that goes back and forth between GI Joe and Cobra like like like just yes it will be comedic but on a grounded level you know like like like accepting the what-if of what if these organizations existed under like what are the women who is the New Black you don’t like the issue to deal with it is different from the women in GI Joe and then like everybody was cracking all the time does everybody like
briefing and then like go get them Yo Joe and then like just stick the camera just stays behind and just have people just like rub their eyes and just have somebody come in and I’m so busy right now
episode I saw as an adult GI Joe and they didn’t obviously didn’t none of it’s written as a comedy so someone had to do this without making a joke out of it but the Jose like crashed a big like crash-landed into the Cobra bass and it broke through the wall I swear to God into the Cobra cafeteria and they’re always poker guys with their lunch trays they were like when it was not played for Laughs animated get it back from Korea other guy’s brother like like a. Cobra or GI Joe you’re you’re in a fraternal organization you know Lego Lego snow steam in my long-lost twin from we were separated as children by a ninja like yeah like because he’s me but my action figures painted differently maybe the baroness has like a valid grievance against GI Joes
yeah yeah like they’re always like oh so much for the compassionate
we never said we were left where you were right one
or are they do they consider themselves left that’s what we need right now we need Cobra engaged in adult dialogue so that the children that we are against the world is like his Cobra Commander wouldn’t be like
Siri is valid
another another idea lost to the ages you know that’s the that’s the most promising development process right of fake thing put it on Twitter and then see if that works
let me see if I got I got one more thing
can you hold us James going to stick around and listen to add James you want to stick around and play a little DND with us to close the show I’m out of my depth here is there can we can we dovetail some domes in here
can we bring James and into the game
Cody sent me this link of this article it says the headline says Ohio man sentenced after attempting to seduce undercover officer with chicken alfredo
an interesting article about a guy who got basically I’d like is an undercover officer in a chat room and this guy thought he was talking to a 15 year old boy I should I lost it and he an independent and he was like I’ll be there with the perfect name for Transformer he’s a trailer just listen this is what we’re going to button this up this is great you’re going to arrange to meet the officer in Austintown he planned to bring lubricant Sprite and chicken alfredo to the date
telling I’m telling Devin up just lost another fucking
7-Up if you’re listening to this podcast get in the game you are losing you are losing you been losing for a while 7-Up 7-Up you’ve been losing I know you got him when you did the Pac-Man commercial back in the 90s with the real name feeling like lemon soda there and they’re failing
we need to put first first
I can’t you don’t want High calories
what I love about these local news articles are like they’re usually like this is California news or Los Angeles news or like like the desert region outside somebody is like it’ll say like 18 hours ago so you know like
this is footprints in the snow like this person is not like this is not a hotspot for this person but there’s a guy underneath this article it was like 7 days no problem I don’t even know what he’s talking about I would be a good if it if you mean seven days in prison I think that would be pretty good for somebody who Who’s Crying was likely meeting at meeting a cop in a chat room that like got them to say fuck you with some chicken alfredo that’s all the FBI done for you and you like heavy cream
hi realizes that cycles of abuse are the key and spends a bunch of money that will only pay off in 25 years when this generation of abused children stops abusing the next to Long headline for everything I’m wearing a big bus
pile of pedophilia on a table
we were covered Compaq computers
I’m I’m 15 I’m sure would like some chicken alfredo I don’t know what I do for IT 44 kilos of chicken alfredo sauce and powdered form
cold here is it is freaking freezing are you cool
yep
look in more if you’ll like the oldest before too long the top 1% of 7Up has gotten larger percentage of the bubbles
oval oval pill with 60% of the bubbles available that a carbon dioxide the can of 7Up on 207 of the people that care
in my view we should flirt in the snow to remove all the bubbles and we all get sweet Light Lime flavored syrup
lemon and lime should not be that these are these are public resources and carbon dioxide individual communities
I didn’t have any dinner me neither
did you have chicken alfredo I had two chicken alfredo was that you know
I had an impossible burger with Joel
nice
go on
I don’t feel like I was supposed to feel bad about not feeding you a minute ago now you just tried to like brag that you ate food with our friend
want to go for a back at
no okay
Trump’s dropping a maybe it’s the power trying to come back on at school it took me a while before I got bumped up
you going to put in the hours
I don’t know if we’re going to cradle, I’m going to be doing a panel and I’m hoping Spencer moderated yeah he was hoping
I would have got you a first class ticket to Boston
I know
what the hell why we try to upgrade him I got to go to DC in July and help me out
okay here we go oh God damn I’ve been drinking nothing but the bottom cuz I already books are out first class to Boston and back in a second well that would make sure of a fucking liar
wait so I did it backstage when I found out who is Tanner Glass

wave is yeah
Jack Hughes I had a baby I don’t know just
thank you sir
get out of here
I’m sorry you find coach in the first place and him who is who who who would it be on the popcorn bag
he’s saying awesome popcorn they invited me out
beside the separate of you
then we went over my head and no and it turned out they only get you coach know
okay what airline is it no longer
alright James
you going to lay down the rules and watch the four of us make no sense out of what’s going on I did it once years ago and it was widely panned on this. Did you make the mistake of following up looking at some Reddit thread or something to my house
okay let me know when you’re ready to go and we’ll do a little recap
how can I fucked up and think about it they’re probably butter on it and is probably butter on it it’s good for you it’s got a whole grains they say which seems like a cheat holds the Grand Canyon Junction in one of your popcorn haze’s Sophie’s Choice
are we all ready to put pay attention to Spencer that sounded accusatory
it’s all good to them right now I know I didn’t think you were accusing me of not being ready to be listened to
last time on Harmon time our heroes were still in that fight bad guy in in that fight to find patch into it got in way over his head and they did get in way over their heads but they fought it was a good fight and they basically one because what would happen if a door came out with a wiffle ball bat and teleported Jeff who is currently a tree into a shed and then a bear showed up his name was Bernie Mac the fight finished when one of the guys dropped his gun and then someone I think it was Steve like kind of real bad with a sore knee started screaming and crying and then like a dude came back to life and was a vampire and you ran away
Nanny Wade find out whether or not they’ll solve the mystery
now thank you Spencer
so let’s let’s look around the room and see what the see what the score in the storage room you’re there on and James you’re playing Bernie Mac who’s a bear that literally just showed up and can talk so you could do what a bear can do imagine imagine being a bear that can talk pretty much they’re so like Country Bear Jamboree except more dangerous or the same amount of dangerous, go to Country Bear Jamboree Disneyland why are you looking at me because it’s not the D&D we want you to swing and then just mold them
we got Bernie Mac the bear yep you got this guy is screaming bleeding kind of like a hostage everyone else is dead
but I can talk Carlos interrogate this guy before he bleeds out
I interrogate this guy okay how do you want to do it I put my foot out of him classic criminology
I will tonight can I use a form of the spot as you know I have like cure light wounds and I can use those to inflict wounds would that be to say that I could like could I use my wound affecting energy to kind of like basically magically open and shut his wounds
you can do that but would take like basically the last of your magic cuz you’ve been cast in a lot of spells today so you’re pretty low
I have a spell stabilize which can cause a dying creature to stabilizer condition of Both Worlds wow you exist guide just Worthy
you can make a choice provide us with information that will guide the light to cleanse the world and who slipped back into mortality or lose your grip forever and plummet in the margins of the Forgotten
not bad he goes yeah no okay what do you want that’s that’s crazy you know I just got into this because I was acting but acting like they don’t have the information that we want I’m not there is
don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m all the guys that why he’s been hurt not that guy you killed the other guy like he’s dead the guy you killed his I was worried you were on doing my work sorry I look through the body of the dead man okay he’s already been looted by Jeff okay I looked through his body
what does that mean
I don’t look through his clothes I look through his body because I’m like Swamp Thing all right so I’m going to look inside right what do I see what do you mean by look inside like using extrasensory perception look
inside his body up yeah
call Jay alright so I’d like a like a person
you learn interesting things and about humans and that’s all I didn’t read Swamp Thing sound
it was the sound of a fireman gets mad at people and sends Allenmore to write something and then
throat and look around you know yeah okay so the dead guy yeah I know he’s he’s normal but Dad said Miss nothing Lifeline there and go okay I’m drunk when we’re playing the yeah I don’t remember over the span is down it’s like they like we’re looking for the like Dragonborn kind of dragon marked guys write a little bit so you found that Trove might know where the gym is you took shrove hostage and he wasn’t talking you found a tiny bit of information about a drop point they didn’t know where the drop point I could help you out but he didn’t
so then you went looking essentially for more clues and that’s where you are now still trying to find that drop point
yeah I don’t know man
why are you know there’s a fire happening right now you piece of shit I didn’t do it by the power of the silver flame you know what I’m complying where’s shrove I don’t I don’t know I think you might be fighting fires with a one more thing though just write thank you I could connect those dots that would be fine what are you guys talking about
wait till it’s where shrove and where’s the drop point probably where the fire is let me know I don’t think it is but it seems like the fire might get close if you don’t hurry
I’ll tell you where it is where it is it’s in Boykins pig farm what’s your name
my name is birth bro bro Pincus
do your friends call you something
Pincus you can smell fire Dinges Dinges
pictures of Angus
Dingus is that has been disclosed it’s very close you like the fuck out by the power of the wounds are healed oh thanks man that’s the name of the pig farm again Blake in Hodges pig farm & stable read let’s go
so help me Christ bingus
once Christ is invented
I’m scared of this fire it’s all right behind you can call me Orson Welles
the bear so help me Christ being guess if we go to that fire and it doesn’t pan out for us and yes you have to allow for the fact that we’re a nap so I might work Matt workout first Shin no fault of your own we will be back give me the fuck you up will fuck up your family we will rip the children from your mother’s arms and we will put them in things that we convince people aren’t cages and if they still convinced of their cages will say it was Obama’s idea like we can go round and round bengis
I’m trying to help me get to the pig farm which direction is it North
I can just turn north it’s alright mother fucker I’m not sure if I’m loyal to your party but it seems fun for now a lot of people that have no Direction you are rules
okay see you head outside and there is indeed a fire it’s it’s it’s started by The Tavern and it’s grown wildly out of control on account of the the town is protected by a big flammable wall so it’s starting to engulf the town as you head north to Boykin Hodges pig farm would you do it we start this fire starts a fire
it was always burning arguably yeah it seems too big to have started it but you do remember starting a fire
I was it wasn’t my brand of cigarettes
you go to the pig farm it’s it’s like a farmhouse with like a little with a little love no sorry it’s a farmhouse with a barn so then the barn is next to the stable re which is like a customer facing stable re where you put your own horses and stuff and then out the back behind the barn that’s where all the pigs is
are they safety pigs
pigs are in back don’t know what we have to wear the drop ones who
you can ask him specifically we’re at the big fart sounds very specific oh yeah I’ll tell you it’s in this corner of the third Pig stable
thank you
so help me Christ fingers if you’re lying do we have to throw bird that it though all the pigs to make them fall down I don’t know nothing about no Pig fighting
because if you’re lying I’m going to wear your ass like a face mask
I’m going to go for trick-or-treat as your ass
it’s going to be one of those costumes or it’s just most of the attention is put into the plastic your ass face and then the rest is just a plastic apron it with a picture of you from head to toe on it a lot of people will point out is not a costume
with a singular hole before your mouth or your one eye
bro and I probably I don’t think Bing is wants to find out okay
yeah man I don’t know you should talk to a boykin Hodge will talk to him he doesn’t really talk you can use
I don’t know I mean like what are we doing here
a question I mean you guys are cool for letting me come along and we had some fun but what do we do go to the name of Gary shambling He’s a shambling mound
pain from the left in the corner drop point
come on Gary back me up on this one thing right now and I’ll be deliciously
sharpening my knife let’s go
wait a minute what kind of plants are these
bigs are having a real blast
these but this is a different kind of pig farm
I start wandering off just like my muttering.
Are the history of sex pics
yes you can do whatever you want these pickets Ridge pretty is pretty gross it’s it’s a little gross it’s a little hot that you like what’s the cutest one
like what what would like Charlotte okay why is she the cutest all right you go you go back to the pig area and you see appear almost as if super naturally like this crazy old bald guy he looks like a really angry farmer like a like an old hard Warren farmer
sir
Migos
are you joking I think we got to do the heimlich on this guy he points to his voice at the vocal surgery for what
I think I think he doesn’t I think he can speak I think he’s lost the ability to
oh he’s pointing like Bingo like he can’t speak speaker you dying person he nods
1st Peter would not he looks at you quizzically like it doesn’t
can anyone accidentally / people have bad depth perception we’re here for the drop he just looks at you like he doesn’t he doesn’t know you’re saying before he goes no waiting for a delivery
he he he thinks like he’s remembering and then it goes out outside outside around back of his house when you said this guy appears you don’t mean like a theory I know but like normal guy like in those scenes where it’s like a creepy guy and it’s like oh he wasn’t there you know right exactly I was trying to hit you taking us to follow or he just he just walked out he was being creepy about it so you couldn’t tell
what’s my like thing where I comes right back out like a light so we can see him in the end the doctors of the fencing lights
sure. I can make you may say that again so you are following him then
okay you pick it up and leave the pic then or you didn’t get quite to the pigpen okay that we were arriving at the pigpen and meeting him right now he was sorry sorry if I was wrong he goes he goes around back to the pigpen and he goes and stands in front of the third one and he’s just kind of looking at it looking in the corner and he goes
all right
you do that you find out you find an old muddy sack in the corner of the pain hidden under mud
you love those muddy sacks on that sack and I hope and I open it up what do it there’s a gym
we did everything wrong and it led to rageous we got it we got Patches Jam where is patches truly outrageous what about this farmer can I’m all in for fun well as you say that it seems like everyone’s excited over the gym and he’s picked up a brick and it started creeping towards you with a big break in his hand
can I do the bear rape like Leonardo DiCaprio
I’m going to come back
you don’t come in for the gym drop off do you guys do we need like another like monster like in our group I mean I mean do we need one it’s ready to go all right so yeah the burp by Orson Welles attacks attacks hot tub Lincoln Hodge and you just get them you smack him in the face and then you just bite him right in the chest and you just start breaking them apart and he starts hissing and scream and he’s like
and he’s screaming and his teeth are sharp and it seems like he’s a vampire
you’re eating a vampire shit I McLaren McLaren God damn it I’m a cleric I think you’re on a magic now cuz you used it on the guy
yeah but you have to have faith
Liberty fright night that’s fair turn vampires each other into blank ends here within ten feet of each other you know like a planned creature right right is there any wooden me yeah there’s some Whittier kind of branches
I go up to him and I do one of these
oh that’s not I thought I got like a stake in the heart I got a stake in the heart and I know you were going to take him through the heart to wait for Christ to be boring
I’m sorry okay I did it wrong so we’ll do it your way just stinks stakes in the heart that’s got to be no need one it’s your fists are one of my is elbow if that’s all right okay yeah well yeah I think they’re here first
I’m not disputing that but everybody else is being cool
alright okay whatever you guys don’t like some of your allies and okay can I stick my finger in his heart
all right as he’s being mauled by the bear he’s pretty easy to hit with your with your steak fingers and you stake him right in the chest
and he he explodes into dust around a skeleton
you didn’t get a shambling
can I collect some of the dust and put it in my glass jar
vampire dust
Steve shaking your head baby you’re made out of swamp leaves
you’re made out of meat
okay we just wanted to collect some vampire
okay well guys we did it we got Patches Jim where the passion do we know this is the boy is 17 gold as well as a compass we need this Jim put somewhere where it will not be waylaid
wander out alone I just need to be alone for a bit alright summon bear don’t think I think it was fair share of the gold ASAP cuz I keep thinking like I walk away from all of this you know they can argue about that and I’m just going to kind of just I’m going to walk out of the woods I follow him okay I don’t know if you’d like them
I’m sitting on the road Jerry I’m just like kind of like looking at the dirt and playing with with a rock that I found that I’m looks just like yeah
kill couldn’t kill that vampire that you thank you yeah I know he’ll just get patch in the gym anymore
you say any more but this is your first Adventure I’ve been doing this a long time and it gets worse than this
I know I just I’m just like I didn’t let my dog out before I left the place and
Gary I’m just starting to worry that it’s this is as good as it’s going to get I mean like I mean I thought it would be more than this and it’s just like work for hurting people and I don’t know what are what are we the good guys or the bad guy sometimes you’re the bad guys in United and confused about what we did last week and that’s why it seems like we’re always talking over each other and yeah
but that but that was cured of this problem is commitment to a weekly schedule and people
people showing up and and and listening and end in given taking off stuff and I know that it would be better with you you know and I want to invite you or is it right I’m in a we’re going to get another he’s doing like we don’t even know I’m in the Sunday company at the groundling ain’t my last six months so if you could want to pop by I’ve got Flyers but they’re little claw shirt in it
of course, is my teacher
of course we’re going to come to your show and I can only get three people who okay well I thought I saw a close over there by the bushes
anyways Gary we’d love for you to get you to be a part of our Our Gang okay but
I’m up inside The Farmhouse trying to loot The Farmhouse
alright well I guess I can probably I can probably hang out for another day or two days isn’t a deal-breaker started you know like carbon out like an itch in and then all sudden he’s like all over I’m just really tired I need to I should have missed that it’s fine don’t worry about the Dawn at the Groundlings
I probably will have to go do that anyway so I need for me to continue being here and bothering you I would have known that bothering bothering me stupid wandering around the front room with my with my flashlight so is like checking things out of Charlotte the most adorable Pig and I and I walk over to Gary and I’m like this little piggy says she loves you that’s a sex Pig
cliffhanger
thank you one and all for coming down here to MacArthur Park in Los Angeles California
James Adomian
everybody here in fact Spencer Chris Christie leaving
brand new song and Noland everybody here at the Fantastic whatever the facts
Spencer Crittenden
I’m a cop, Jeff Davis giving up your man with your dad hunting

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