Episode
Episode: 185 – LIVE in Chicago 2016 at Park West!
Description
A game changing sold out show in Chicago’s beautiful Park West theatre! Music by Babes. Watch the video at harmontown.com/live, become a member!
Transcript
hey I’m a be and I’m Isaac and we’re from the new podcast Immaculate Conception do you know someone that’s undergoing infertility treatment or maybe you did did you ever talk about it with them did you ever want to talk about it with some friends and not loved what they had to say we’ve been going through this for a long time and we want to talk about how to talk about it come with us on our journey as we struggle to become we hope that it makes it easier for friends and family to talk about infertility together and full episodes October 15th
even the world
303 Jeff Davis
what time does Geno
can I bring out the asshole do whatever you feel natural doing a little bit okay how’s your how’s your day I know it’s band soundtrack
hello
thank you
now it’s going to stay can you hear me can you hear me
this is going to be the best Joe that harmontown has ever had
I feel that mandated in the attendance and I called the Windy City it’s because of the love and the blowing in the political corruption
I saw a big metal umbrella like in Chicago
Pride if your pride is my hometown
Chicago is but I like New York more
figuring it out I don’t get it I I see you coming to the airport you know it’s very cool you know that your civic pride is like there’s a lot of mustard being put on it from Chicago in Chicago when you come back to O’Hare do you see the effect you’re having them people with the the elevator buttons are baseball teams
are you really calling it’s like they do you have 90 should we have those things there’s a deal from that’s that’s great that’s always a great sign that you’re doing the whole point of a hotdog and shoved into a pig intestine I know you know what I should be famous for it
it’s a bummer man I hate hot dogs that have anything like makes them hard to like old and stuff
I can’t be holding all this mountain of garbage on a hot dog I wrote this down your order is your name I know it’s not the guy shot it out everything
is a fucking place that’s what I meant
all right now next I really am your panhandlers
I have the worst most I just that’s the only thing that you would get to taste of a city by running across it is it’s panhandling and unplug ears your guys like they’re terrible terrible people
they don’t even know if they’re bad at panhandling no one’s there not making any money I here until we’re going dark about this but I’m a milwaukeean and I and that city is colder than Chicago and I said panhandlers so bad at panhandling and I said the turnover is higher the Winters still alive
and it’s not like I’m not trying to it’s fucking horrible it’s like we need to wake up to our class system there’s a night in Milwaukee that’s like it’s got some crazy German name was not there something
where are the car break-ins like go through the roof because our homeless population is just freezing off like mosquitoes
fucking horrible completing homeless with panhandling I mean some of these people probably have one bedroom apartments
there was a woman sitting and I wrote it down and she was saying it on a loop 25 year old woman sitting on the sidewalk and she was saying this is my impression of her voice she said
she was doing right yeah but you didn’t look close enough you was just actually giving birth at the time
nothing nothing makes right here out nothing hahaha everything and then there was another guy cuz I came out of the hotel and he bumped into me and he said can I have $15
which my girlfriend panhandling
can I have 15 for sure he’s read the right books but anything will do better homeless will you the next time I come back here your impoverished
tired of being asked for money in the homeless people like they own the streets like they said I can’t they have barbecues like streets and are just like wandering around in the winter doesn’t kill you yeah that’s why they say that’s why there’s so many low
they don’t die off
I mean it’s more like three homeless guys
even in my Jeff Davis suit I look homeless
yeah I I mean the truth is it’s going to be a terrible show tonight
chat and talk. Don’t approve and not moving on because I don’t approve of shit my dad lives in Colombia and I was going to ask you about that last time when when is this year’s eve he was he was doing he’s trying to I think it was trying to shoot a documentary about it it’s dumb
is he all right in front of the person you’re insulting but and my dad was like what and took a step toward them and then the guy I like like a lion till he got stabbed
ding but it’s like why would you do that unless you wanted to get stabbed and then we’ll lo-and-behold but I didn’t get stabbed in the face even though I tried really hard to story before he had a I got stabbed in the face right
damn you’re saying you thought your dad was a pathological liar but now you’re learning that he’s a pathological stabbed speaker but he was the most honest person who really wants to get stabbed in the face
you found out I wish we could get your dad. He looks horrible I mean ever since he moved to Columbia just start looking like an old man so he was getting mugged and he was he was probably just being a douche to the guy that was bugging him right. What’s that victim-blaming
resume your dad deserve to be stabbed in the morning
you know average Blackness walked up to me with a with a knife and they and I was on dancing at the time by the way I forgot and I was like very nice to them and gave them my money in her pocket I took a bag of pot and they took it and take a spot
swear to God I’m going to do do what I say or I’ll kill you but then also we’re probably never going to kill you
rap artists
that’s what I’m saying man you have to try hard to be nice. Got to be nice in this world
her dad over an anonymous stabby man
feels like all your money or all night and he was like fuck off or something and the guy was like damn right in the face and then my dad like he thought he got punched so he starts chasing after what am I high and then he had to stop and go to the hospital
I mean it’s no because it’s the same stuff that my whole life I care about it I was like this is psychopath Behavior you’re going to get her one of these days and there it is finally
I know I wasn’t just being a stick-in-the-mud all along it had a real purpose behind it
seriously did you think he was he was lying the first time you told you these pulled a lot of stories he told me yeah I was like that time when he ripped off the gun because they were driving too fast in the parking lot that probably actually happened but actually nevermind I was waiting I was waiting around to pick you up or something I don’t know cuz I was crossing the street in the car Blows By and and he like Blows By neighborhood fucked up for walking
the driver side mirror
and then right you are the Green Goblin
James Franco’s character
this is what my dad doesn’t he’s insane
Bruce cockburn
yeah these are the Green Goblin or Jesus Christ it like going into this weird meta-narrative where I was following them because I wanted them to freak out after a really long time yeah which is psychotic behavior but the thing I was using against them was the idea that I might be psychotic but I was that’s what I can do to freak them out I was a psycho and I followed them because I did it wrong I was in the wrong but you don’t have to do when someone says is wrong
eat that that guy hated that you admitted you were wrong
because I’m talking about the show has a fucking structure to it
and now I know is I’m going to be at my bras going to shoot Sparks 5 Seconds too early
I’m going to I’m going to be in the middle of my anti-vaccination monologue when the Sparks go off and it’s going to seem like you shouldn’t vaccinate your children more by talking about
what were we doing like 90 miles an hour to tons of steel like I was a I was what I was doing a bit about being I don’t know why someone’s following me I was driving around my friend from high school and he drives like a maniac and cut someone off and they are Tories so he started pulling tricks cuz he knew how to lose people like one of those crazy lady
we drive really fast and then you slam on the brakes like do a U-turn really quick and he did that and then blew past them the other way and then they like turned around and tried to cut us off and then they were coming like my exit and then the two dudes jump out of the car and the car still going
CarMax is like this is the last thing you want to do if you’re trying to chase it down I don’t know
because I don’t I don’t I have no context for what he was at is thinking about something else
yeah cuz I did all the information that I needed was in the first 10 seconds of that wonderful showing up thank you so much
what are you drinking all day drinking all day all the time that we spent driving here in the every penny that you spent
I want to check in with Levi Levi where are you
where is Minneapolis
are you going to come out
I am in at Levi on the show for years
he was the those socks
is he allowed to do that we’re not Jews
remind me to serve you
beard shaving
oh damn how’s it going leave I using for another time and place I both have okay I haven’t caught up on my harmontown to get I’m on episode 3
do I show up and all right with you
I will get there
now you’re fine we’ll figure it out how he’s worried about camera angles
this year’s deaf so I I want to be closer but I just came in like you guys Morris
so what’s the bus going to have to ask the the pronoun question because I think you’re are you you what what what what’s the situation I can’t I can’t navigate without sounding even more insulting I’m just asking if you want to call me she girl whatever you know I’m fine with it if you call me guy and
I’m transgender. I got pretty sick I just came in your pants
now that was a dumb joke
I’m reaching for the vodka
second grade
come on man don’t rain me
you think I would offer deals than what table is like a regular chocolate chip cookie
I was trying to give him out before this is that a Lucy cookie definitely be good for
it tastes like fabric softener
what what’s been going on with you Levi the last time we talked to you you were living on a ranch and you were walking over Frozen piles of cowshit or something I can’t remember that’s a hobby I guess more than anyting there wasn’t an accurate description of your life’s work and sometimes you know when dire consequences like lava and walking over dead animals and you live in Chicago
little left of the Mississippi how long is that drive I’m where you are at a Chicago 2 and 1/2 to 3 hours a day that’s flattering thank you though it’s not for this summer in Omaha Indianapolis
there’s another special person in the audience tonight that I wanted to bring up that’s all of you I am so high
me too man we’re in this together I didn’t eat anything except
well it’s it’s it’s George Georgia in here if you want to come out by talk to you before the show are you sit here I wanted you to meet people is really helping actually believe I Georgia
thank you thank you how to do this shit
he has a skill and how I should react flattering
I didn’t your mum people-pleaser did you did you really get into dude’s mouth know I don’t eat good that’s crazy I just
that’s it
that does sound more sane than you think if I didn’t like it thanks for I never aged I mean I probably did in a restaurant without knowing it
we’re going to drink it yeah I mean you know I you know I mean the rest of them I have family here that’s all right
anything but that yeah I’m interested and every now and then I’ll say hey if you ever need me for a session bring me along and I’ll help I’ll help the Dominatrix and she said well this guy likes to be humiliated he likes to have people watch him eat shit before I got there before you get there so yeah we get that I’ll get the common things in someone’s mouth which is a little better than her pulling out a bag in it
I’m putting
I didn’t ask for it
tell George I hear you’ve seen people eat shit
when I was in the Navy and we’re kind of people all the time and scrape their mouth so that’s not really eating should
you’re up here George I’ll tell you why cuz you came up to me before the show and you said that since the last time you saw the show which was a year ago or you said since I started listening to the show you had 13 deaths in your life not in his life in 2015 15 people they knew passed away I got it wrong I got it wrong
listening to the show which was when I started film school which actually Ridley Dunkel
yeah I had about I can’t tell people think because I think everybody throughout the entire time anymore cookie
sorry I don’t know as a listener when I hear that I think my I want to hear a list
from the best to the worst
and that means words to best where’s the best if this is going to tear your soul apart whenever we want
I’m joking I’m a sociopath so little to freshen close to my heart but so I
for number of years I was a pastor and I worked at a couple different churches and some of them into the thousands of people in some of the people that I work with really closely just you know car accidents heart attacks I worked with the population for a long time.
he was fine with it I was like that you got me Pastor absolutely was a pastor no longer you get fired twice you assume that it’s not your job and yeah for real
route to 18 deaths in my life I’m a murderer
find my family I had fifty that’s in my family I’m a community leader the world my family
why I left my last place three years ago and so you know it’s with people everyday or you seen him a couple times a week they start to become in some senses and a lot of people when they found out that I was done working for the church I kind of left me alone which was good because you know I don’t answer that’s important
and I seem drunk and not listening well that are tearing you down we had this idea about you but in reality because we’re projecting the things that we assume about people aren’t you think that we want in our life on to you the moment you don’t fulfill that
there’s this rug Beckett pulled out from underneath you you are no longer that person’s them you are just a regular person that also has issues are you are you where you bounce from a church or having qualities or her
is the first church that I was let go from there was a book that came out a couple years ago that asked the question about whether or not he’ll existed and I said along the lines let’s wait until it comes out and read it before I say anything and not everybody was fine with that
and I read the book and I agreed with the book and it wasn’t in it wasn’t within with the church said so they told me that we don’t trust your theology and this was like a month before our wedding my wedding and
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, never misses a lot but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the theme to like to my own life so it’s always a little t and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
does Hell exist something
you know I’m at home now can you imagine a more horrible things happen like you you live a life and you don’t know what you’re talkin about kids with cancer man, trying to make people laugh here situation all the time why is hell a place that you go to after you die to spend more terrible time there and not happening currently what my room that were there right now and make it better
no seriously that’s that’s that’s the day we’re being punished that
yeah I don’t know I’m I’m I’m from Michigan yeah the most or the least boring and some moving on my my half-brother is biological father passed away suddenly
Moana
really, my brother if we had any friends that passed away in March and April I can’t do that that’s fine and I I go to go down there and I start writing it I found out that a friend of mine from when we lived in Chicago pastor the morning of funeral
and so for the next
12 weeks whatever math it is to get us to January friends my great-grandmother passed away which is the type of person that I had somebody in your life that you just never imagine life without and then suddenly they’re gone
and there’s this 14 more people this was the Catalyst to where this Depression started in and you know it felt like every week there was o29 develop stage 4 colon cancer
like at what point does life actually start giving back because everything feels like you know
it doesn’t get any better you know my my wife I feel for you but I think I would go to church and listen to controlla everything what are you looking for cuz like you know I started listening to harmontown and
I what I generally just wanted to thank him because there is somebody I’ve been fired multiple times from jobs that I really want so I connected with your story on that like but that’s yours that’s a real thing that happens and in the industry that you don’t talk about that because it ruined your opportunity
but being able to connect with somebody on just that level long like it was insane and then you’re so loud every fucking week to a group of people like myself and you guys don’t understand that so I went up to the end before the show and I just wanted to thank him for like you know every Tuesday when the podcast drops I know that I have a reliable source for laughing my ass off I think you’re right
whether he knows it or not
George Carlin on everything
now how does a rap Pepsi has put one of your seats
I’m you get a free it wasn’t mine was it
all right let’s pick things up a bit with some kind of fun on stage
rap battle
is there a is there a is there a is there a is there a rap beat
that’s in your pants. But I’ll take one right now
can we go it’s going deep
yo
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah
miles per hour is a measure of speed Tower of Power has everything and then I measure I need to talk to your mom over hours of flower that’s hot
Chicago-style Chicago, it’s not real good at rapping but it sounds good
I put my bread where that I put the most bread
it’s what I said I put the bread where the bread was dead I put it down in the toast to the ground comes up make a sound
mine now
put the butter on it
oh shit fucking jokes Chicago
Coast to Coast with Chicago that’s why it matters the most to do.
Super famous things about your city
Pizza Pizza Pizza
soda machine
mayor mayor burn hot dogs and I hear the typewriter was invented
believe the typewriter was invented in the city
play look it up
oo with me, Chicago
when do werewolves
camodo gaming
Mick Jagger
thank you Levi that was great accompaniment Levi is there any parting thoughts but I don’t understand you or I just love you
is there anything you want to just leave
yeah you’re eating too much maybe a little too hard on yourself
narcissistic man alive
I don’t think you got one
I don’t know what to do whenever one of my other mother in that song
what the fuck how much time do I have 78 more than an hour what is yeah what does that mean I was thinking about this cuz of the fuck your mother thing in Greece
he might have left something geez sorry
but I was okay right now
butt in Greek where is interesting because like to love their mothers for whatever they’re insane so like there’s like three stages of the first one is which means fuck your village
and that’s that’s deep because that’s where you live
so I might have gotten screwed up because maybe that’s the second worst one and either the first or second one is out of the country but just give it a little edge of the village their religious and they love their mothers so of course the Virgin Mary Mary
crazy but your one year.
Do you think it was hard for Mary to have that kid with no she was still intact probably right
dick in her
and a baby came out and you know Jesus probably got a big head
broad shoulders
I don’t have anything else on my notepad nail clippers for you guys are from Chicago and you’re all probably but I think so
fuck you anyway it took 3 seconds from the right every song and it’s ridiculous Another One Rides the Bus. I actually brought this up on the bus and I said how about another one
fantastic
there’s a person yeah I didn’t even think about it
fucking
well where is anyone beating it
what am I looking over there if you want to hear something about an hour
jump
someone said Hillary Clinton On Pointe
is really well elocuted
come up and give support to Hillary Clinton or were you someone that wanted to I think she was playing off a joke though we do that weird shit ever
very well show you shall have
the city invented the Cabaret did it
the old professional song and dance man
Adele performance Town something for you
hit it
flights
perfect thank you
do you want to music queue music of any kind
of any kind
yeah
the second one give me one second
I need more in my Monitor any more secure than perfect perfect
power off tonight it’s amazing the Night Trap
stabbing pain
Windy City Chicago
play music.
My name is Jeff Johnson
I just came up from the audience and I was hoping that you had change for a dollar
that’s crazy you can’t professional sorry my name is Jeff. Sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry but you know I’ll say you could have been a little more honest mistake I came here with the wife and kids tonight
I’m seeing your show it’s about Chicago it’s about the fire bolts I need to change for a dollar
if you don’t want that to happen you know I drive down here from from from from from Racine and II
receive receive jokes
anyways my name is Jeff Johnson and I
deprived her 9/11 joke that you like Little League
I can’t control The Inferno the fire’s coming down Chicago
Chicago
.
all right you got it
that’s enough I know sarcasm when I hear it
feeling like a big deal guess what I made it up it took me no time
so you’re sitting there judging and he likes as much as the other thing I don’t even know what it is
the robot
goodnight can I put something you I ate a pizza the other night
but it was a dream it was a whole fucking like movie and I wrote it down when I woke up and I pitched the movie The I swear to God this is all green
and isn’t supposed to be a comedy called Hot Rod parade
hot rod parade Hot Rod Lincoln hot rod parade
so Lucas in love with Becky
but she’s into Brad because he’s got the hottest hot rod that she knows and she knows it’s going to come in first place at the local hot rod.
Can you drink this and then wrote it down yeah I woke up I’m like this is an amazing movie
Luke wishes he had $500,000 to buy the turbo 5000
I don’t know anything about cars by the way I think you could you become a genius and dreams for summer
yeah turbo 5000 a hot rod that would be hot rod out of the water
but Luke is bored and his dad is only a Chinese philosophy teacher
it’s like the lowest job of all and he’s Chinese what do you mean Chinese disease cheap Chinese philosophy and he’s also
from the document how do I know what how do you know that from the
so easily the most underfunded program of the college like you said
all I did was I Do lyrics but make sure Brad can add the coolest accessories on to his hot rod
I just woke up and wrote The Ice Bucket yes I swear to God
it looks that the little Chinaman tells him he doesn’t need material things he can get her with his inner light
Luke’s just embarrassed of his dad and decide to take the auto arts class in order to build a hot rod from scratch
but Brad whose dad is the plan and get his death around every corner
who gets very frustrated and it is a final desperation learns to overcome his frustrations through meditation and find his inner light
I’m only halfway through
when you finish Plumbing the sentence you have to go back to sleep because there’s a whole day has gone by
makes the coolest Hot Rod ever regardless of Dad’s red sorting it’s a day before the hot rod parade and Brad just breaks into the shop
but you still got to come in first
so yeah meditate so much Inner Light
daddy is observed by a MacArthur grants Committee Member
my friend actually in New York is that I got the MacArthur
plus she wins Becky and his dad says D it’s it’s it’s it’s not your daughter and Luke half-heartedly at the end says thanks Dad as the old Chinaman leaves and then Luke Wings to the camera and we cut to him driving with Becky with his brand new turbo 5000 that we bought with the MacArthur grant button
I’m not sure if that was the dream
it’s like you see Luke’s dad from behind like by a pond like just sitting peacefully and just like it’s from behind and in front of a jacket off
I went to a therapist once I mean
and he said he was really expensive and I could keep going to him said give yourself permission to have a significant dream tonight when you get home and I went home and I tripped and I have this really significant train but I never went it was I didn’t go back to the guy cuz he might have made me saying no one crazy Harmon
Christian Harmon
I’m sorry I remember my pitch with the Chinese guy
no you wouldn’t buy it in your dream you and buy my dream I’d like your dream would you buy it and I want it for a million dollars
I guarantee that she’ll give you over $1000000, battery I want I want the person that’s having the best night of their life
I just talked to some of the somebody left of their fee I think that’s what is that a young lady that let you
I’ll come up with you
I don’t know what I’m doing I don’t know let’s see what she has to pitch what you need
Community College
you know I went to Columbia I take graduated there I pretended I graduate I was told
Christ
as right as Pastor George
that is why I kind of like your kind of like your your feeling your privilege you’re like walking on the fucking Cloud Loki you saved my life a bunch of times
is a tesseract involved
the Hyatt
Health in my life recently
do I make you laugh 2
you said the n-word
I don’t know then why why you worried about it
okay I won’t say Niger right now
and it would just make me really happy and I love this whole crowd with you guys are the best people in the world all right
the best day of my life right it’s because I didn’t know that there was a show today but then I found out and it was already sold out and I was like I just feel like waiting in line and like to see what kind of Miracle could happen I was
they’re hiding from me and I mean
thank you so much thank you thank you sister Nicole thank you so much I had the worst night tonight I want to just watch the electricity Arc in your heart of hearts you were really like cranky tonight and they had a bad night okay young lady
do you want to do and do what you want to come up I just got to stay up here and then each other it’s just a fight punch is there
there’s a theater yeah but might find the candy baby
thank you very much for me one
Camila Camila
oh my God what the fuc
so I am Insomniac like a lot of people like a lot of creative people and
you’re the exception that proves the rule
so I go to my doctor gave me some Ambien and it was amazing we sleep like the
and and dream you know what I mean and just like and feel complete the rest of the next day
itself is addictive also highly chemically addicted
so I
so my doctor
I was like are you having no side effects like all people I didn’t I didn’t need to keep increasing my I’m taking it every night she was like if it’s working for you
go ahead
so like 8 years later ever taking it every night for years and he studies start coming out
that Lincoln long-term and he’s used to like major instances of like early onset dementia and cancer and and I sorry actually investigating it and I learn this drug would never designed or intended to be taken long term like at all
you deserve every second microphone.
the horror story kids come on it’s alright
a ball joke in there but I don’t know what to say
the fuk up when you’re around here unless you know and then until I was finally off of it and I didn’t sleep at all your symptoms started all the sudden this withdrawal symptoms wear
so are you off there’s a name for the state which I can’t remember when you drift off to sleep there’s that’s state in between conscious and unconscious
like a hamburger or something in that state
so I see how when usually when you fall asleep every once in awhile that thing we were in that state and you get that feeling that you’re falling right shirts
what’s the name of my punk band
so I started getting this thing you know I was fall asleep but as soon as I would hit that to date I would get a surge of adrenaline and I wake up so as I lay there for the whole night every single time which is roughly every like 10 minutes every time I get tired enough to drift off to sleep I get a surge of adrenaline which feels like getting an EpiPen injection which I know from allergies
and it hurts after a while
again again again again keep getting well
Silver Lining his tranquilizer
alright well sorry thanks for listening we’re going to thank you for sharing your old dance like you did dancing baby
all right okay, that social cues is not Universal
how does the karma battery work
Camilla and when I want to do another thing inside Camille okay so who’s Knight toys was called Carmelo
all right you know what we are saying
trying to sell tickets here
this guy’s he’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders
oh okay here sorry
you don’t have to look for
current what’s your name sir my name is Sean Sean
hey Spencer, mine is going all right I loved hearing how how everything was really really inspiring for for you everything that’s happened with the show was really inspiring for you and it was kind of like it was kind of like that for me like what year show for started when the wind is podcast first started you like the thing that amazes me the most about it was that you and Jeff never quit like you never said if if you’re free style or whatever didn’t work you just kept going and you never gave up and it was you and Aaron sorry and you guys never stopped and I was just too soon to
I was just leaving the woman that I would marry and I was like I was like oh my God like like this guy never stops like sometimes it gets difficult and embarrassing and Dad but he never stopped
no matter how bad it gets or how I’m funny he is or how come everyone thinks he is, everyone
it’s not your fault but I was really sad about that man made me really sad I didn’t know how to turn it off because Darren had going I just thought it was amazing and and then and then and then some change and I just I just I don’t know how to do in your life at all are you thinking podcast got worse if you say you say you fear your care about
there was a different there’s been times when I die I believe that what I was doing could work because you always made it worse you always made it working never stop
what I said because he never stops stopping isn’t a good like I have bipolar disorder and sometimes I bring the for the other pole isn’t good for you if your bipolar just do the one whole it’s cheating it seems like she did but just fucking
be like a middle ground
well I I mean I obviously in some in some ways I failed a lot with this experiment exactly the line was too long if I could Souls like that never going to make it now because of what you just did tonight you think you’re beautiful
but but like what I feel like I’ve invested too much baby emotionally nor show in America was built on paper and pushed it was nothing
motherfuker
you guys had your registry so I sent I sent I bought a gift off the registry I never give a name to it, you put out what you were before you buy a wedding gift
please
I mean cuz I am going to think about that too I got I got married for 11 months so that I got divorced in like what the fuc something how could you be buried for 11 months if it means something the fact that we never talked shit about each other the fact that we were on the same team if I got married didn’t find out that marriage was our best form together and just when we’re not like stabbing each other in the face I think it’s a it’s a sorry Spencer
I was checking my phone I mean they’re going to get divorced and yet the divorce rate is like 85% and I’d like I do think Sunday definitely I’ve been I’ve been in relationships with people when they’ve gone like what we’ve had like weird totem couples and those people break up what does that mean
I like fucking people like the fucking best thing that ever happened to Mac Haik
play together episode series called scenes from a marriage and he said the best thing that happened was after that aired the divorce rate skyrocketed their kids and divorce get the fuck off my high horse about divorce
I’m glad I’m glad that you guys are friends and it’s not a sad event
say what is the focus on science
Focus on science probably a Rick and Morty reference to something
mutually exclusive really is that gas love or science
video of science look what I discovered
have you guys been watching porn with each other by the way it’s kind of this remind you of court
her name was not losing I know your name was not news and Sean right I believe you
believe you
he’s been calling Sean Camille
I’m trying to I keep ringing people up and I’m like
play come or do you want to do when your bored with your friend or are you
did you ask her up or do you have a car
Trisha okay so do you think you have like the anti and Camille had an emotional bad
a little while and they already have like another as we have three girls together but I was having another he had a baby already spotted me to as I’m standing in line to this wonderful show where I’m like super excited never got to see you trying to see you for a year-and-a-half to didn’t get to text me that she’s pregnant and having another baby and they’re buying this big gorgeous home somewhere in town and so I was like okay well my children get to the with you you’re going to have this big house and my more my marriage is really bad so now he’s like
She & Him
family is so where’s my big house and where’s my extra babies and I don’t know what the the good part of being pulled out too soon
that you guys have that kind of relationship
anything that you think my psychologically
what you going to do to ruin to know if we get along for the most part for the for the
I don’t think she realizes the rude things that cuz it goes random times which is just like oh well she has a weird that stabbed at me you will like what the week to make this decision is compatible like you’re like the sunshine blue blueberry but maybe half a time and fell asleep honestly I think and Annalisa we’re not going to get that
play honestly if you’re going to do if you’re voting if you’re out there and you’re voting for the Oscars I’m just want to I just want to ask you if it takes a hundred people to make how good I could only use like a hundred and thirteen people it’s such a fucking true it’s true
I want that Oscar man alright in the world your name was obviously what we’ve learned tonight is that this place is awesome for anything that’s a terrible way to end
any of yours I want to suck some of your energy into and give it to her that’s it that’s all I’m going to do that and how are you going to do that
what’s your social security number
the last four numbers of 5 5 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 3 4 3 4 3 2 1 4 3 2 1 2 2 3 4 3 2
Charizard EX loved one right now Hallelujah again with you you’re going to forget about all of that
Ron
just leaving your head then you’re a little less happy or a little less happy but you’re a little more happy that you’re allowed capitalism
Camille and Tricia give him a big hand
I mean I mean
yeah yeah I know I know I know it’s not your fault
it’s that time where you always seem to sad version of Beethoven’s poop in your butt
no it’s a sad sad time when we re count the things that we’ve learned but I know you’re running and running running over time I don’t know how many we have a realtor what kind of what’s the time it’s a second to the cutoff
Franklin Library you might not want to come
my name is friedel
I’m coming from Dallas there’s a lighthouse light
Carmen best friend from Milwaukee
cuz he been on the truck or what’s your name
what’s it what’s your name Sir Colin what are you do for a living
it actually works actually work he says instead of actually work what do you do for a living I’m a writer and I will you know I work in a website for the government you probably know you probably know when you’re finished
it’s for kids with autism
congratulations you fucking getting fucked
I just add no deliver look it up
what are you going to do for a living
how do you spell
you don’t want to join Mom know I’m in control of this room
what are you do I was just trying to tell you my honest
it’s a theater Tower Theater Tower going to be
wait what what’s your name what’s your name specifically
for real just told you his name like that that’s not how do you
will take me through your normal work day so you know there’s a first thing in the morning and then all right
sorry about that
what what what it what is everybody from here to hear Doom
alright Chicago
do people why is there so many of you
all right so all right let’s do this let’s finish the show in the best way possible
and it’s not on me if it’s bad armed combat
there are there are two weapons under two of those stools
we’re going to we’re going to play at we’re going to place a start a new experimental game we’re going to play
yeah okay so here’s the deal have you ever played Apple’s dapples that represent Fighters and they’re going to fight but you guys are going to have two apples two apples cell argue while your fighter is going to win this fight does that make sense okay so normally we got to get like a consensus but maybe we can like use the audience as like a the judge of who wins
do you know she has checked out
I was texting where we doing something
to fight between the two of you
okay I’m going to go take a shit
all right so you pick a white card in a black car. Okay and then freely you do the same
we only have a bit of time
so so these are these are characters and then they’re going to have attributes
you’re going to see who’s who’s winning the fight and you guys got to really become made it there was not a work oh okay so did you go for at a crocodile hunter who is a hoarder okay
armed with a sniper rifle
a queen armed with a sniper rifle so okay who would win in a fight between a crocodile hunter and a queen with a sniper rifle
well they got to argue first they’re going to argue when I hear them yelling at each other
crocodiles so when I heard what I’m hoarding are crocodiles
I saw him like always even when I’m at my least functional I’m surrounded by one of the most terrifying beasts
what you can shoot across the wall of crocodiles from the fire I will have hoarded them that’s what you’ll see I will have hoarded crocodiles and horde but they are slow-moving are they can be as it doesn’t skin is thick I’m a hoarding them I’m not relying on them to do my bidding I’m hoarding them a sniper rifle but I could shoot him before he unleashes the crocodiles hiding out watching that crocodile shit but I assume that this this conflict is happening at a moment subsequent to me being identifiable as a hoarder of crocodiles which means
that I am already fortified with crocodile flat
I got nothing
whatever I got a sniper rifle that’s not a damn thing I hunt crocodiles I do one thing at Night by aggregate crocodile I live in a fucking like
Cocoon of crocodile hide so okay so let’s do the crocodile hunter wins
and who and who thinks the queen with a sniper rifle weigh
actually sounds kind of a sniper rifle
I feel like there’s a special place in hell for you if you that’s that’s I think a lot of people would agree with you even if there’s no evidence whatsoever but what do you guys want to do another round we could do one more round
did you know her
all right
so what happens now is is
we got Dino
now you pick another fighter who you can try and beat a queen armed with a sniper rifle doing
he’s not he doesn’t like games
it’s okay alright I had to pick another I got another yeah go for it
okay what is it while I’m in I’m in evil doll covered in eyes so if it’s not covered in eyes so so now argue about you have this still keep this as the winner the winner you would
what’s this song
you just still be in the same thing yeah yeah it’s like a it’s like a winner you know it’s like a it’s like real fighting entertaining game
are we still at the park west yeah yeah yeah
well I am I feel like I feeling like because you work on the sniper sniper field that you are somehow accountable to evil than that
I as an agent who evil could probably pull strings
from above you he’s not an evil doll card no cheating I mean
I have an entire nation
and each eye is dedicated to evil
which traditionally is it has Intelligence and articulation at its disposal morning 3 minute warning
I got to try try try try him in your queen but you’re
what do you mean
make you hate yourself everything that you should hate and I make you hate it doesn’t matter what you are I see I see everything I see your weird thoughts about all kinds of underage people
I’ve seen everything
I’m a evil doll with I I like that underage sex anywhere
no I’m saying I see I see I’ve seen it I’ve seen it I’ve seen your evil all right who wins
alright Anna and a queen with a sniper rifle
I don’t know
I think that was the tie I got to say the least one minute warning
who’s the best rapper who’s the best rapper in Chicago is the best rapper in Chicago where we can trade off if you want to turn it off
oh oh oh shet, oh shit my name is Dan Harmon psych my name is Daniel last name harmonious I thought your mama was felonious that means I stole their pussy I fuck your mama so hard your daddy came in
but a fuck your mama and your daddy was
poke poke poke poke poke
so high
What’s Your Name song
Kentucky John on stage tonight in Chicago
where we going to Drake
thank you so much for meeting that you cannot believe it
I don’t know what to say I don’t know what to do
go to OSHA