Episode: 186 – Auld Lang Schrab

Episode

Episode: 186 – Auld Lang Schrab

Description

Harmon loses an Oscar, Phil and Mike of HBO’s Animals, Abed Geith returns and Schrab is extra disruptive on HARMONTOWN! Watch the video at harmontown.com/live

Transcript

let’s go to rock at this time by calikusu can we find Jackie called Hey look
Hollywood California just down the road from where the Oscars are happening in
We’re Goin Down
people are being emitted from the record
Hermantown is now in session
my name is Jeff gay but you can’t tell that happen to get back in there
Meijer Pharmacy hours
hello
it’s weird coming out so early
the Bible tells us that don’t keep your light under a bushel
bring me to drop out as soon as possible the kids like the graph look like from from yours either be some valleys and some pizza same as in friendship
are you are you pretend I said this before he just said that are you feeling Peak or a shrub Valley right now
The Big Short
Pixar movies
for three years. It’s a millimeter at a time
what’s in a hotel room
show me a pronography addiction with the other Human Condition
Story 3 they were scared it was going to be a city of Toy Story true so I was great
I’ve never seen it I thought they thought it was
I’ve obviously misread I’m so sorry you weren’t really really hard in that movie you were you and your family genes of water you need any kind of snacks and we don’t feel the refrigerator here at Starbucks but I’m here will take me to take care of it you guys miss your wives and children what it what can I what can I do what can I do
what can I do then what can I do what can I do for you animators what can I do for you, not something that my name goes before your name Carmen what can I help you how can I help you work for me
what can I do what can I do as your eyes hurt
does does your open
turn it down
I don’t know that everything start
yes very mean to me well that was justified it sucks
I hear it’s a good time to come cut your eyes hurt
and do they hurt in the First Act of you cross a threshold to go world where they hurt in a different way this is what you were doing anyway let’s see what happened
anyways what you wrote it okay so right
Joyce treasure Pixar racist I said I knew I called Chris Rock and I said he’s sitting back there with the envelopes and I said take it out of there just get us out of there like I don’t I don’t I don’t feel comfortable white people are are are are are they don’t give a shit about black people and I said yeah and so that’s the other thing about this is that first of all they don’t deserve a second of all they’re racist
also I think I didn’t realize the corruption that you could you could call Chris Rock up and change the the way the Oscars that they had that they do the little teletype think I don’t know what kind of thing but some of the stuff when you look at it reminded me of like when remember my space when there was like your top five
whatever whatever number it is the top blank whatever so it’s like an argument is what I’m saying like tomorrow morning come you didn’t thank me on the Mike why was I wardrobe this thing and it’s like she’s been working for 30 years she gets to have a fucking huge ticker tape that goes like yes stinky Sia me Poopy yeah you’re so important but honestly they play you off in 10 seconds it so I’d let me tell my little story and make my little sandwich. 5
all of you
welcome to a special axe grinder is Edition 110
I thought I thought I thought they had some cool innovative ways to keep the Oscars shorter this year for next year you could you could shorten you could take a half hour after the ceremony by having a separate Mad Max award ceremony
has older guy wrote in here
I didn’t drive I wrote it
United you can really spend it at my cutting at white people if it’s not going to be that right up
did you hear something I will agree that they did different this year that I thought was just like don’t do that like the when the people are standing there talking about the nominated movies that’s the way they catching a question yeah I’ll do my bit later
they were they have the presenters and then they are the presenters talk and then the camera instead of him cutting to a clip the camera would move you liked it I. I hate it and see what it looks like typing the words or it Eric sip this coffee and I do apologize I will I like watching nobody else does so I never get to do it somewhere by myself I put the closed caption on
sing a writers like the backbone of all films is are the writers and and like I’ve never said you an Oscars this year as I said I shouldn’t have to question every single play row toward I agree
I like to dress up as Ursula from from Little Mermaid
are you interested okay alright original Star Wars
red to red trench
getting ready to go to the people for being bad pirates Little Mermaid Little Mermaid and then and then and then for like a solid eight seconds we all got to see what Benicio del Toro looks like when he’s amused
kind of stepped on the not a real sneeze just sabotage
knock knock who’s there a Duane toilets
Grand Hotel
how do you spell tomorrow
all right moving on I don’t really watch the Oscars it’s all white people are racist towards it’s like what does that mean you like what you like isn’t that the thing that matters like who cares what other people like doing it cuz I just never understood it it’s like it’s if if if it’s great then it lines up with your opinion and if it’s a bunch of dumb idiots then why do you care what they have to say I don’t know if someone says Hey Spencer
come take the statue we decided you’re the most awesome person this year are you going to tell him to go fuck themselves in that like I don’t care I’m not in that world I don’t make things that are going to get award smart of had words
I was still going to voice mermaid
walking like she would like she was like wandering around like with empty seats and she’s just like why the hell is it for the amount yet I cannot wake up every time we saw something we all week and maybe this is appropriate we had to watch tonight’s Oscars through every single second of it so it didn’t really matter whether they were actively doing a bit or actively being proactive about and some ham-handed way of like the bumper of that isn’t for instance if the guy that played Apollo Creed kid is like out there or did you already like he’s like he’s like I had to look at that
medicated apology to the lack of black I couldn’t tell if it was oppressive that I was supposed to have an opinion I didn’t know I kind of feel like white people still haven’t figured out how to respond to being called racist but I think it was still don’t handle it quite understand why we still don’t handle it well as for not making a movie where he has no black people in it because I don’t care about rice I use race to kill people
deposing means you’re racist see you hope they will pick up the tab they don’t pick up the tab tell it told your friends later that there a little racist there’s always a there’s always a. You can come in and it’s not it’s not something you can do that a bell you can unranked does a strong strong I feel better I picked on I don’t care what people will react what could we do for them I feel better I couldn’t one of your puppets and Lisa have been a black
I don’t I do you know I just executive-produced that I can really work on a moving
so interesting
very interesting so yeah I definitely lost an Oscar tonight but if you have a racial problem with the movie I talked to Charlie Kaufman
The Real Race this is Charlie Kaufman
Rob’s going to be any black Lego characters
the whole moving yeah yeah yeah that’s a lot of money make all the money you paid in full
like the first season of Community
how do you make can you make no money money or fun
what how much is even like is it’s like Canada and the US about six years ago and it’s pretty close to even weight equals a dollar of money
John examine this time is 2 + 1
handkerchief
hey Taki audience tonight I don’t know they’re a little there a little chatty but yeah that’s okay with you go to different cities and people in cities that are in Los Angeles that aren’t like Jaden come down in like cool we’re all cool and I like we’re used to like you go to a different city and it’s a harmontown coming number one that means you can fill an 800 like what are you talking about
you’re heading asked you that question what would you say
what
you have to guess and you tell me what Chicago show for your family’s going to die what do you think it’s like a jigsaw blade song Moving which would Chicago show what am I talking about
play it’s about the process
what you do if you do show Saturday I don’t know what that is doesn’t matter you don’t know you don’t need to know when everything happened
how do you say
I think things are going to the mean person
show me know okay I love of all time. Rod parade
that was fucking fantastic and when it was over you you haven’t paid attention to it at all you’re like 800 people if I feel like the shows not going well I get to spun out you know like I’m in my head and then we saw this in the movie the harmontown movie like that’s what happened to the Arizona show in Rhode I was like I was like if I start to think like I’m failing in my job somehow it’ll be thinking about that ironically how do I make the show Good how do I get to work harder
I need one for my people need people are under me how can I help
I’m on your side. I don’t like what’s going on
give myself I didn’t get an Oscar tonight but my problem is toxic shame like I’m not going to feel shame by default you’re trying to provoke my sense of Shame and then I was like
Heaven lyrics
I mean hello
it was a rhetorical suggestion I mean I don’t even know what it was like saying let’s bring the Native American out here and ask about
if I don’t tell Rob what year your ear of your opinion of my work ethic he’s the he works harder than anybody I’ve ever met in my entire life it’s true he’s a fucking bargain Hollywood is crazy
he’s way better than anybody’s most creative person I’ve ever met I love you and he said freestyle freestyle rap Chicago that was just it was probably Dusty I don’t have that beat it’s a good thing I didn’t think your famous buttermilk biscuit oh yeah
are you giving that does that register I think you worked very hard because I our friendship as is falling by the way because it when I call you up you’re always working
that make you happy or is that like a burden to you I’m working through it I got to try to do more work to deal with my attitude toward work and this guy is the only guy in therapy very hard even go to therapy
my therapist thought you would do the same therapist yes we do
together
I can be helpful
I am okay paying for your couples therapy and I want to shoot it like on video
Harry Met Sally couch. If I pay for it would you guys go to couples therapy until network has the same therapist she says if you want to bring someone else in like I’m going to I’m going to go in with my new girlfriend just because she doesn’t just as a pre-emptive is like what what’s the weather for this thing
bring anybody wanted if you want to
Kickstarter associate only thing that would be perfect that won’t happen is that we see separately that would be great to have her around the podcast but I know that she would never
she would never do
I don’t know if she’s too professional for you two to be filmed going to therapy together all right take a shower.
Show the ladies
we got we got we got to guess we do we got so I just paid and thank you for coming out and bouncing off of this guy
yeah because delegation is part of the fucking daily should I have to put up with this podcast you know great minds on the History Channel Rick and Morty is it is community still happening somewhere was it on C-Span now I’m probably working on that sings 906
give us some time Dan just smell the roses swinging in a hammock in the breeze kick up your feet and just relax see what he’s doing
Minecraft you guys are fucking nuts then I’m on your side so far I’m sorry I wrote it I’m not sure I’m not proud of the fact that I work hard so I’m not defending myself from these ridiculous allegations to pick up your feet cuz I asked you today you said you were going to go have brunch today and I said you what you want to go and have a drink so I’m going to go home and play a little Xbox that’s you kick me up your feet that’s that’s you relaxing in the afternoon
turn off the brain for a bit just like I’m not sure about the KKK rally in Anaheim or the or the very important Apple FBI privacy issues you have to listen to some other podcast with it with it with it has a little more control over its getting inside of these issues you’ll have to Google it and educate yourself I don’t know I don’t know I wrote coughing and farting all that’s important to me today so I caught a bit of a cough and I farted I was and I was with my girlfriend and I are exactly the same time great great to be loved and have respect for each other and not have our opinions about
tell me a fact about Lincoln
cough is loudest to you your fart you know you’re you know you farted what you don’t know is if the person is a foot away from you if you if they heard the cough louder than the fire so here’s the Dilemma so this is why I always go first I’m going to say what I always do and then I’m going to explain why I always started when I call the reason I do that is because you and I ignored it you want to you want to get in front of that new cycle what if they thought I was coughing to cover a fart instead of leaving the room it was an accident if I didn’t come back I would never do something like that like
are you saying the cough made you fart like it was the cops The Cop made me fun things to do with each other what are the odds of that happening

when you fired do I do how do you fight separately sometime early all the time and death of a question then you guys but right now I think I think of a cough as more of a upper body is thoracic kind of thing in the price being more of a lumbar envelope by the doctor he says turn left and cough
but I’m saying your balls are closer to your ass than your chest right at least minor heart
humblebrag
pics or it didn’t happen Rob I can’t believe this is a little more core strength in you maybe that’s probably why I won’t deny that all my my chiropractor’s all over me with my court that’s why that probably is a thing I’m down to once a week at amount of vitamin D a prescription that to my doctor and everything’s going great I’ve lost I’ve lost weight I know it doesn’t look like that but I had my and everything’s doing great my doctor is very happy about going and I’m doing great I know I look like a big sweaty and gross Slug and I’m saying that I when I cough I fart every time I think it’s insane not all the Glitters Is Gold
all right let’s just do it we can do it in front of your new girlfriend and what was the upshot of that I wanted to know because this happened today and I didn’t make me maybe remember that but doesn’t regardless of how long I’ve been dating somebody regard it doesn’t matter if we got some who the other person is I’ve always win that happens when I cough and I fart full disclosure I always
there’s a good chance that that now I’m just going to be telling a person that didn’t want to know is that I farted however it to me it’s a sort of like the legal systems philosophy that’s like it’s better to to to to to let 10 in the innocent man go go a guilty man go free than the idea of one innocent man going to prison it better to have 9 people go like why is he always telling us when he farts after a cop then to have one person go she didn’t fucking guy did the other day he had to fart so he faked the cop didn’t get up and go away he just fuck it he did he thinks I’m so stupid that he can just cover his farts and he just did you know how you feel like ten guilty men
they’re supposed to say we don’t really approach it that but that’s why it’s better to just learn in high school that I can change that if you were busted on the front or not did you know that she said that again just like why do you keep telling me when that happens if I didn’t know you fired him I said why I didn’t know you didn’t know so I had to tell you what I told her
and also my cute guy with no core strength to work on it around for the new show that’s that’s being drawn at a really really cool hardworking Animation Studio in Burbank called starburns Industries ads
I don’t even know I don’t know what you doing
the greatest protests
totally unrelated question how old are you
unrelated totally unrelated
when did I want to be a great time on the road to State their age
and you’d be like wow that really walked the Earth that long you said you’ve made and witness that many mistakes are you going to push Charter Charter
I have to have a
did the microphone real quick you have to have the soul of a six-year-old
it’s like Thor’s hammer something like no one else couldn’t fuck up like being he’s like scraping
this is an obviously I’ve had a few.
All right are you going to raise going to be going what the fuck man what the fuck
is this really funny show on HBO on 11:30 at 11:30 on Fridays. It’s called animals and it’s all your favorite comedy people doing these little sketches they’re trying to see cycle animal people and their animals starburns they think it’s amazing how hard I work I don’t really talk to them and I can’t tell the difference between a let’s bring out the creators of HBO’s animals Mike Luciano and Phil Matarese
hi everybody I’m proud that I was going to say I was going to say they’re going to come out and sit at Phil’s going to sit here and Mike’s going to sit here and I felt so I was just want to be make that clear off the bat it’s easier to say Mike and Phil but I just want everyone to know when you see the credits created by it’s not alphabetical talking to my friends and everything glasses glasses thing there’s no problems like I’m always going to know from now on easy and we’re also different people too so I can.
that’s all to the other part of the other thing I do
take off your glasses for a second either filter Mike okay come on are you fucking kidding me your heart
don’t fuck you guys come on
animal Subway my animals still alive
is the name of my face you guys are put up with a lot but there was one time when you guys were coming over we’re going to go to Comic-Con and I and I said to my zen wife Erin mcgathy I said that they’re going to be here in a half hour you need to help me with something I these two guys fucking look the same and she’s like I want to throw up and Google I’m going to figure it out and I said okay and I feel had cuz there was like a it was like a single and it’s got your name and then the other end an errand with boy
I said but she was like for Pride said she was like well fill ears are
farther
okay fuck it was something with the ears and whatever it was I swear to God like I’m not doing it as a bit like you guys showed up and I looked at ears and 300 this is Mike and Phil
so that’s the end of my story till you look a little bit more like Andy Garcia the mic
why did you guys both look like you would say yeah he’s got it
I just got my technique is when I walk in the room they’re always both are so I was going to well if it isn’t my can feel about that to be a writer to have a beer am I the only guy in Hollywood that doesn’t have a beard if I don’t want to get up in the morning right is because I I can’t grow a good beard patchy Johnny Depp guy in the red carpet had the worst patchy beard of Alta I go that kind of beard so I can if I if I don’t know yes yes
hey do miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, never misses that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes out the themes related my own life but was always a little t and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
so like what was it a year-and-a-half ago you guys do pictures of animals dry comedy like like eight frames per hours can you show us just like drawing of animal doing set up there like like like doing kind of like like pop here and it’s hot soda okay a comeback really quietly I know I got it yeah good old Hometown standbys up here then I’m sorry
show me pic
what is Rob schrab going out to get a selfie
to be at to be an artist in to invoke the shop passive aggression is like that that strong man Bell Rick like you guys said is there an HP he was like you guys are so you’re like the weekend the right the guy not the today. That’s why I’m the one guy and dudes like you you started doing this thing as it is on the internet following your passion making yourself then went to channel will the New York
then went to where take what was the New York Festival now oh no he did a voice into episodes he’s he’s my dad an episode but he has so those guys are executive producers and how we’re able to make a bunch of episodes independently for like a year before we parted with Starbucks to finish it out and sell it to HBO and we just give you a little home keep you up the street and I think it’s fair to it’s just like a gang you see me and you go there’s Dan
like he doesn’t he’s not going to come in here and tell us how to draw an animal that would be very early from like the night before it seems like you don’t know but yeah you will you care too much do you work too hard for the first time he came out to as he rolled up his sleeves and he was like what can I do to help
I don’t know I never had sleeves because we talked for a half hour is like these guys seem like a cool guy that’s like a different relationship with your benefactors and you guys tried as hard as you couldn’t do it literally by yourself and then it was like holy shit we’re going to go insane so it’s just really there more tenants they’re not like it’s not like they’re not a brainchild of Starburst Starburst a building where they get to work but I never the last because I love creativity and because I’m sort of just a wonderful person so good because you never know you guys could give me a job one day I don’t have no idea if you can’t that’s what Holly was about to get a kid you don’t say no to anything I can bring you in my office I said forever
thing I can do and you guys are really great but you’ve never needed anything no not really I mean part that part of why we around such are like find the animation studio that was going to help us cuz initially we made the first two episodes of our show that just aired on TV 2 weeks ago literally in an apartment that fell and I lived with 4 weeks ago I listen to harmontown when I was making it so it’s very bizarre to be up here it was really sweet I know you I listen to harmontown okay
so hard for lunch was the first person to realize or up here that Adam Goldberg’s in the audience was Phil Garcia Andy Garcia my device keep being the guy that doesn’t look like a fill is v a i was like you do look like a Mike thank you every dumb dad or every fucking. It’s like a main character named Phil
am I looking at your shoes cuz I was like Mike’s wearing Nikes what are the odds he’ll continue to wear Nikes and then they fucking like me crazy if that’s what you’re like how many shoes at exactly I’m going for a number one agency in New York that we both work. We just kind of started doing this thing weekends nights and it sort of snowballs the dry guy and when the over-the-shoulder Gaia, friendship
necessarily yeah I do the editing of the dialogue cuz it’s improvised our show so that’s actually a huge or if it’s like a big step I would say everything together we read all the episodes we’re writing season 2 now and that’s the most difficult part is like it’s so much of writing is sitting there quietly resenting the other person for not agreeing with everything you’re saying you’re going to bed early like
I heard you and Justin at that library that was amazing to Centralia sketch show I know you guys do little you are a large attic but I bet it’s like Link Link Link Link when I say Asperger friendly I don’t mean that I don’t mean that it’s like the causes Joy like but it’s like you have to have an attention Surplus two-story brick and I’m not saying that anyone clinically does
play I just farted
but Justin is like like you guys have hung out with just alike that is genius is from his fucking like he cannot quickly so far up your ass back in Sprite drink from the concession of area over there they they offered not to let me pay for it but I gave him a tip anyway that was fun and then we shook hands
what happened to the bathroom into a lateral thing always works every once in awhile while you’re copping fart doesn’t isn’t that something that happened but my question was when that happens and you’re one foot from someone what is your like like do you say if you cough and fart you should just close that I farted so you’re not even trying to bury the lead on that one and I think you’re being a good a good present for that sometimes than the contacts can come in like you could be on a first date like to try not to cough I guess that our first date that’s what we what am I talking about
fucking first date if that’s what’s going to happen
that was known as the chair that was the chap who is this is what I’m really curious about how the writer cuz I know thank you that’s not enough for the only are hearing this podcast on audio when I am serious about cuz it’s got that very organic style is clearly a lot of improv happening and I’m very curious cuz you guys have all these a list like, two people coming in to the star Burns recording glasses in beautiful downtown Burbank Aziz Ansari Chelsea Peretti
Jon Lovitz is a good friend of mine now he’s unbelievable question. When you hear voices from there the that Dynamic adds 10 lb of contempt yeah because you always are thinking like why am I talking to a microphone if you hear anybody could be going like I’m diabetic and I’m going into shock right now is like you lady
could you just hear the word shocking you like
I should know. I really want to know
aluminum can I not find that guy list segue to do a new live Schreiber when we lost and Rob traber cubic zirconia I was watching the basket weave Schreiber said like a production design is very important in Hollywood at his face look like he really the reason he was saying it as like I don’t get why he but he was but it was a pet peeve of his like like like like like like like like
apple pie like a like he was like making a but he was being upset maybe he’s nearest he’s having trouble to prompt a damn that’s not good but easy out tonight cuz they didn’t fit with a bear and a comeback Tammy was like he thought it was like a Wolfman references I thought like what is a cat
he thought there’s food like
are there any actors of the audience I’m sorry
make an appointment before that I wouldn’t have wanted to interview fucking desk that I was Liev Schreiber he looks like he smells like Cherry 7Up
he looks like he smells like cherries have I haven’t been next to it so I can I look at them on TV and I smell like Cheerios exercise they do an art school I got the professor or something
then Draw Something it smells like something
drawing class
A Perfect drawing live forever
Schreiber to a T it’s so weird being inside of a harmontown and just having it happen around you my question was when you guys because there’s it’s a ton of organic improvised kind of material you guys have both parties in a booth if you drink a two-person seen right they go back and forth and where and what do the script look like when they’re ready to be recorded 12 215 pages and it has just general seeing breakdowns and then like a few sentences for each beat that we need to get to and then also a joke that needs a minimum at the front and then a mechanical frog rumors about maybe this probably similar to what a Curb Your Enthusiasm yeah that’s what we heard Mark duplass was on the league and that she was very similar in kind of case
but yeah we’re in the booth that’s one of the main selling points of how big how big is Lake Dallas
I want the boots are everything we need a podcast friendly Booth what actress played what actor is playing in what country
he’s like I did the exact same thing
really but who was it I’m pregnant to tell me the handsome Latino vibe to you that is a he did the what what else did he do
okay how do you how do you how does Mad Max best production designer best sound at Saturday sweeps everything and the guy that told all those people to do that the director doesn’t get Best Director how the fuck does that happen so watch it a point to right now what a producer is when a director is
very true very true but what’s the other movie I think I think there needs to be a new stereotype about Mexican directors is he a Spanish new stereotype let’s start it Mexican great directors have an extra muscle in their eyeball a lot of a Mexican selling a lot of the rapist directors up here in a hole in a wall around America
but I’m a very good job I’ve made lenses for things I’ve got no
Leo DiCaprio in Trump I’m going to be a Patel
I think he’s has the shop one second let it go with our DJ Evan if it works as anybody you wanted all the budget
what do you do for people who have an improvised shall we should have had a joke when I do your shut the funny sketch just to make me but a sea otter I’ve always seen myself to see how to dance but they’re almost there I was beavers but they don’t work that hard and we just like that
grab onto the
can I hate when that happens okay.
Furniture donation women trying to swim on the beach
get on the beach in the water on the beach and fuck you didn’t have more I don’t know what I think Rob’s got the part that was pretty
I’ll be I’ll be back cuz the thing is I got another guy that I got to get up here so just you know forever if you could it’s on HBO GO it’s on HBO now comes out a day before Friday’s every Thursday if you’re at work or whenever there’s a new episode out and I think our shows going to have to be a word-of-mouth sort of thing so the more we just need to cool people to tell other people about it. It’s not for old people for young Peter Falk
if I get three that’s helpful for you, cuz I actually like just think it is a really funny show and it’s like everybody having fun and it’s awesome and it’s like
call people who all have their fingerprints on the show and we all get to work music people to got curvy. Rocky ASAP Ferg
animation is it like how you doing we’re doing it in Harmony and it’s it’s kind of weird eclectic mix like some of our backgrounds are photorealistic looking it’s a mixture of high art and low art high, no blackout. Thank you
HBO Fridays at 11:30
play leave earlier on HBO Go and and then that drives traffic to the HBO GO plus turnstile which makes a wheel spin which Universal then makes a chicken pop an egg and then you get a free pop quiz who was the one sitting closer to you
okay I got to flip it cuz Okay was this was Phil bright he didn’t but I had to flip it three times to remember it not about the song about me being a bad person I should just stop cuz you back yourself into a corner because that’s where you have won your greatest victories because you were in it in your use for an environment where you were backed into a corner for real and nobody else around you understand because they look at you with a girl that’s a six-foot-tall fucking bear guy like that has no that no one wants to do anything bad to and from their perception you’re just a dick because what I told them in a corner and then I’m in a corner thanks for joining me
wow it all over my face and Dick are you fucking kidding me I was a serial killer. Is that I’m crying every week
are you crying happy or crying sad like that’s why you saying it’s like is it a epiphanic tears or stalls above it’s like a psycho shit she’s right tears I cry like three times a week
is gay quiz never cried and she said that
you guys don’t react you I’m not going to I’m not going to make you Corner me I’m just going to say you’re dumb for not laughing at that
that’s my judgment of you put yourself
all right all right so so
he almost certainly ruin me
I’ve been here I’m here
okay
Robin
but I haven’t seen you in a while you’re okay with it looks good on you and I are always at you and I have why I don’t want to insult you by saying this I think meet me slightly more but you and I are always fluctuating like I never know when I seen you you could look like a you said last time that I lost weight which was very flattering every time I see you I just need to look good for you I feel like the the character I made for Community is more dimensional
South Bend like 6 years from are you doing after not being the dictator of Cuba
I was going to say like I’m like I lost weight and then I was like I need like a cool look that makes me attractive and I was like you know I do like my head I look like him and I was like I was like I need something so I decided I decided I did something like I have this hat from like the thing I made called the pop Bluto
you do look good with the hat but what do I have what how do you what are your feelings about cuz I’ve been friends with strap for fucking Thirty million years I might like shrimp really long really long time but he was like I actually didn’t even realize what it’s paying in like how it feels and all the different perspectives of all the stuff I did so I’m just curious like you’re wearing a hat cuz you’re saying like oh I look better with the hat on and it’s because the fact that your ball discovered or it because the hat is like a better looking thing than the pair has everyone wore hats and so bald people kind of look like everyone else and I want to look at
no one else like I want to be attractive and cool people with hair work at
but I feel like Ruth therapy right now but the crazy reunions cuz I’m going to pay for all three of us
you’re inadequate and I just know everything you’ve ever wanted
but man I got like like like like it happens and like 10 minutes like heavy metal guy wants to make us think he’s wearing like a Clark Kent like talking like like like from an era when everyone he tried to examine
he’s like don’t be that guy that comes with that hat is having physical things but I mean I’m super excited maybe it is Castro say maybe you look like you look like

I would say I would read I would love that but now that you wrote so I brought a birthday by the way I have a birthday party in the story and then you text Dad and tell him about it and I said that I would give him I’m ordering a beer classic classic Jeff
so I didn’t go to your birthday party apologies if you had a lot of karaoke place I mean you’re you’re like down the street I was like thinking like his Ridley came but it’s like there’s a lot of construction
karaoke but it’s a new environment is a lot of weirdos there is a comfortable well I mean you have like some will have soon as you can get up there and say I’m a big fan of that version by the way
are you going to ask Jeff to be on the show and Sundays in the show and you said cuz he was at my birthday party and some shit went down and I think I said why don’t you come to the show and talk about it and I don’t want to hear anything about it I texted Jeff went down like I said I’ve been trying to explain something is Ovid at his most societally like like like better than a special
I totally forgot Rob was going to be here in a minute. Well it was crazy I mean I was super drunk first of all and then like I mean the first moment when we started that party at the Holiday Inn Burbank shout-out and Jeff comes in to Burbank right about Burbank so Jeff comes in I was like super excited that it came I’ve been trying to get Jeff to come to the show for a while I mean to that that karaoke for a while cuz there’s like some of the same characters there there’s a guy he dresses like Bono and he only does bottled sauce
coal miner guy sings cowboy songs you just got to see these people
people who dress like people that sing like those people
put these people in these people exist like I seen the videos of the people I think it’s like Friday nights at 9 play hardcore about it like they’re like are they like good singers dealers in there cuz I never know what I’m going to see what tickets further in setting it up so big I all right so anyway I mean we started off the Thomas Storyteller which is a cool bar everything glass elevator and we go it’s like this like Willy Wonka situation and then we go into the actual weather right now
the Motions are there and it’s like there’s nobody there I’m all excited and all my friends are going to sing we’re going to have a blast good buy me drinks cuz it’s my birthday which is that a happy birthday.
I know I said it to the new 27 I mean you probably didn’t see that you were bald she would have thought you were at nine hundred thousand years old
I feel like you shouldn’t be cutting in more he’s like is it all right if any way anyway the night is going great I mean I put in I came over with song I put I had like I always have three songs in my pocket cuz I’m like one of these am I do I can literally
sing I’m to wait wait wait but not put your pad in your pocket to eat like
he’s taking me to write down three that he has ready to go already weird cuz I do think that’s weird yeah it is weird
I’m asking him that one from last time cuz I had one from last time I didn’t do so I kept in my pocket right now. Whatever is there a is there a chance of the song right now I just want to focus in on that thing isn’t important details about what you’re saying that was a jerk and you literally front-load had unsung song written on but they’re loaded up in case I type in tonight doctors poopy did the best thing to be the worst way I can
I’ve been doing that karaoke place for 5 weeks and everyone’s good so I’m trying to like it I’m trying to compete with these people will do better on happy together maybe supercalifragilisticexpialidocious who decided always a fucking fucking hardcore Farragut play that song is it into my brain like right now
what does a cat say
stop don’t ever do that again
okay I think I put in a Cherry Buffalo Stance was not always easy I mean
Mirror Mirror
nice nice try rooms in any New York Karaoke come get gets more and more Lost in Translation to you cuz it’s like it’s compressed and it’s like you go to like places and it’s more OTG Asian style or like a little beard in a tiny room and there was there was there was a friend of a friend and you trapped this like you’ve practiced doing karaoke before this is like you’re hits and you’re really really bad now that I have fun at the whole I don’t know
it doesn’t matter I interrupted continuous.
I think I went up pretty early and is he all right has to go see if he’s got to go to a
he’s been disruptive and he should not
Crab Trap
shot everybody
now I want him to leave every week. Old lang syne with Rob schrab in it
excited when he left it when he came I hate to say it but I love to watch you walk away poor Robbie the Great
I want to try to have it back anyway I will take it out of you men don’t get fresh with me today I did my song singing like a girl no I think I can’t member who came after the other night I heard you talking on the video and you were at you were like going all the way
the night is going great and then I think I saw Jeff like they called your name right now they never called your name now
Catholic catechism
New Jersey state prison about Callie saying the Kelly’s new album is out in her song was the one that was playing in the beginning There song All Night Long what’s the new record called me to take out the music video online which has Willie Robertson it in Des Moines Brown and I was cut out in the video but I was cut out it’s fine for my interest. It’s good that was cut out cuz it be another thing to explain to my parents cuz I was just like a woman
we do there’s only a few people in this room you do live karaoke not you it’s a big big room you know a bar room in a hotel first thing Jeff does is he goes and puts money in the tip jar he was $5 and some people said he put more than $5 which was only about maybe 10-15 people their total then ride later there was maybe 30 people I signed up fairly early on and when I signed up I wrote down the song gave it to the guy in the guy I gave them a $5 bill I put a $5 bill and their little jug and it was the only money in that in that jug
David goes on and I go on and we put in our slips of paper at the same time as Jeff and then like terms if you were going on and just like he has a little discussion mean on a door say what’s going on he goes on to the stage and says worst karaoke place ever
we walked around like I walked over until I feel like it’s a place where there’s regulars there that they’re going to get preferential treatment I understand that I’m all for that cuz I go to the karaoke places where I I am the beneficiary of that preferential treatment but now I think some people in front of me too much attention to who’s singing with what I was saying I’m really drunk and I’m just
call my name when I walked over and I have to say I was in all good faith and all good good climate walking over there and said I just want to check how far away am I and she showed me the list and I wasn’t anywhere on that you did when there was nobody here and and I like yeah we are on the list
do you see the $5 that you do remember that conversation that happened where I walked up with when there was nobody in here and I signed up and handed it we all spoke to each other and I gave you a $5 bill and it went into the temperature do I cook it and I didn’t see that I took it
Alicia told me about it I was everybody a shity as karaoke place in the universe
no
you thought I was making fun of the guy before him know I was making fun of his two assholes running the karaoke convince him to go out and eat
whiskey judgement in a in a Safeway wise men say worst karaoke place ever his face cuz I would have forgot to tell the people that was there I’m pretty sure I’m not allowed to be here anymore
if I didn’t find out is that you were in the hallway would like a security guard and that’s all that I got out in the hallway like I’m leaving the bar like leaving the hotel and a guy with the air Monitor and the antenna suit California woman like you know like some sort of manager at the hotel I like sir you have to believe me I’m leaving I’m calling my car right now like I’m not want to hear you have to go and I wouldn’t stay here on a bet like I’m going
I said night and believe me I’m sorry if any of this ever involves you I’m I’m not going to cause any trouble with my I am simply leaving like I’m just calling a car we can walk outside to where the car is coming and that was the end of the story however I have never ripped up currents and thrown into my respect that you were just like
classic Costco pretzel jar that you took the label off a label on there but just pretend that we never spoke it was within the hour or fucking there every time I’ve gone on a guy in a Suit Riot I’m a good guy but I did do is fuck off into Koreatown went to a karaoke place where it was stuck in that groovy Tuesday Matt it was really good
5 Falcon minutes after you left Jeff D is Jessie there and they gave me the fucking short trip it was an accident as what I was thinking
that’s called a meltdown
do that. You always got to take $1,005 bills and turn it up a bit up here to exploit him I thought he was going to be the guy in the jar like you are definitely the like you are I’m not saying you are wrong like this is a descent worth talking about this was worth talking about I feel like you are you from the Delaware where was there a story about a job real quick.
I would wear a little in the weeds I was at the bar buying a drink and and and you were there with your two friends I didn’t know them but they were talking about you and I was eavesdropping because they didn’t know that I knew you okay and they were saying like who wears a suit to a bar like this crap and I thought that was funny, Iowa I met her she traveling I met her at the drawing and that day I took my friend Jeff who is building me up yet
karaoke I swear I’m going to do karaoke with my friend Abed who is famously the inspiration for a bedroom community we went when you texted me today and said you have been kicked out of sweet places and tonight at the Holiday Inn in Burbank California for sure because I destroyed I just I just tried Lincoln’s Effigy I didn’t like the sound set up before it before it all the Jeff crazyshit has speakers my friend Ben page one of you have been paid music karaoke
genius and he went up and he did like Pink Floyd The Wall and go to the songs and then like they had some sort of like the version of it was shity and in the middle of the song you just walked off the stage yeah and he sounds like a cool dude
you’re off the hook as it do you have that you could try to explain
what ideas why you’re famous for having pitched a restaurant idea where the hills or is it you want to lay on it so I can eat and I hope it’s just a hope it’s not he’s hoping for something I have to tell you I’m saving that for GDP though should I first of all first of all
I was saving that for their episodes
is there a medication I have a prescription in
I do I don’t want to cause chaos for ourselves what you want the cop story that lady cops would like to hear about getting kicked out of three places in Holiday Inn Burbank graphic package where would you like to know more okay we’re going with Gwen getting kicked out of three places let’s go there so it’s all go there together Eyes Wide Open star ship I put a pin in it to look that up later places and how many how many days
he was like to OK Google
shots fired
say what we’re all thinking okay you drink too many of Moses of like bottom is a subjective term came out and said this has to eventually end wow that’s amazing glass give me a terrible example the first one second okay
tearing up money at the Holiday Inn
what we don’t know that Jeff had a few friends I brought a woman from Iowa with her friends up to ask ER that you were going to be there I met Gwen that day at the drying
they didn’t know who you were there making fun of yours truly know who I am I knew who he was he get better treatment is that what you’re saying you drinking out of champagne and orange juice
all right place we walk down the street like two
bars down and then Logan fell asleep on the bar and we had to go to the girl I’m outside the first to Logan Logan’s Run places that you probably should have stated it was go both times and it was someone who really both times it was time I felt bad for them to head out to you you and Iowa she’s famous and it’s very small part of Iowa for being like in the movie Footloose
she’s she’s like all the Kevin Bacon’s in the world
old classic I don’t know where to start I met her she grew up with an Evangelical but head covering dancing was prescribed like a legal right and a head covering for principal of the college and the Very fundamentals Christian School in a car alone with a boy that’s grounds for expulsion is okay alright it’s alright
there’s like no girl you and just a girl you know that I was just protecting the community
Lexus sweet
how many of what was the first transgression
the first time you got Rumble to school
10 in his defense at that age if you get blown I mean if you don’t tell anybody did it even happen
he probably didn’t even mean to get you in trouble he was just like oh my God that felt so good now god dammit expiate his own sins but also that sent you up the river
a hit from a joint and then she got kicked out of the school like Bill Clinton
do the students write separated consequences because that’s
I found a friend of this town
is it for the blow job or the weed you’re right you’re right fair enough step aside here before I get top brass
not really just me it just didn’t affect her like standing in the community or
but you still live in the community and people find you that if you do run into I didn’t know that you asked your like Paul Bunyan like you’re an actual folklore home
I work at a bar and people come in and it will be one of two not to drink because it’s it doesn’t matter and I forget
there’s another and they think I’m a sister or no she didn’t know it was real like that’s yeah so it kind of has a folklore and like that you got punished that you are that’s going to do or is it in a car sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry that your crimes existed or is that it was that it was wrong to do the things that you did clarify the community is the community still steeped in such medieval democracy
five years ago I didn’t know we are the person over here I feel like I’ve heard versions of that just like that little Bazooka Joe comic like that little it’s not even a story it’s just like a little sliver of like like it’s adolescent like encounters with misogyny that phrase I blew a dude and he told on me like that when one form or another that happens constantly that that’s the first encounter at its like the thing I always fascinates me is like I don’t know women don’t have like like like like it’s like it’s like if you’re if you’re like you selfless enough till
would you like with a guy and you’re like like I really want this person to feel like
do you want his dick or you don’t stop it stop it with that we women have a ton of young girls from their Adolescence in small towns where they do get Hester prynne’s like like there’s not there’s not a ton of stories where girls I was so horny that I jumped at a dude and made myself come on his deck and then they told on me it’s like they go I blew it dude like women do get pleasure out of giving us houses like everybody’s having fun when everyone’s having fun but it isn’t that communicated from Tustin from eating too much pussy.
that’s if that doesn’t happen it’s like I ate a girl’s pussy and she
call she never tells me it’s kind of like a blow job cuz it’s a job you have to like really try to suck that dick make
a lot of girls twirling around my point but I am surrounded by children second I just found through this Minefield I’m not going to try to be politically cracker win any point when I hear that stuff I just go but I would suck your dick is the biggest favor she could ever do if you’re like the idea that that also makes you a slut instead of a saint is in her impulses
oh that’s such a highly evolved person that at that age she wanted to give something to someone in a community that repressed that the guy can do I feel really guilty about this I’m going to turn us both in and she’s the one that gets in trouble not me I think I’d fuck honestly as a dude and having been that age like I said as a joke but it’s like stoves like I think that the original the foundation of it is if you’re a dude and you find out that it’s possible for a girl to like you enough to give of herself to you you can’t you start to get upset if you go like what if No One Ever Knows this happened then I got hit by a bus
and when that saw it hits you unfortunately you’re in a locker room in the middle of picture pick up Ciara do you think there was any way that was religious
like a fundamentalist like it’s pretty hard for religious is like you know he actually felt like a Muslim we never got.
you don’t usually tell like the president of your college level 2 and release how can I help you is I’ve been happily married for fifty years never cheat on my wife wants until last night and I had just tilting crazy sex with a 18 year old cheerleader every position all night long is Wild Kratts and the price is only a hundred Hail Marys and two hundred our father and like I said I’m not Catholic I’m Jewish in the freezer why you telling me is it telling you I’m telling everybody
and that is that is actually that’s what I believe is the root of that’s that’s the root of the earliest encounter with misogyny that have it like like like like that with women have is like it’s like a little boys going like I can’t believe it’s possible that I have to tell somebody or I feel so terrible it happened and then it’s like shooting at Leeward and stylish blowjobs feel good
well where can I find my Kik
bad. We’re about to make contact history
Caroline Ford
Play Jesus what is Windows so I don’t get it it actually hurt hanging out with the wrong people man I want to make sure I could pull it out like do it you don’t like me anymore
use your words to throw that out there but I’ve never had a good one for me to move to Iowa meat hold around your your your I don’t know what you call it your your trauma your your point of you make sure you get the last word about that stuff cuz I was playing here’s the thing about sucking dick is there anything I said that you’re like wait a minute you just said some shit that like actually perpetuate the thing is I don’t like tomorrow and when you return home if you are semi known for that and send me not known for that
I guess everything passes in my small town about it I really really like you don’t give a shit and I was like you’re bigger than that and it’s not that’s like this because I think that you might sell a lot of people free back in small town like Midwest
Well yeah if I know it’s hard to tell you should tell you that you can do that I’ll meet you on the other end get your dick sucked in fucking mum’s the word
Play Click Click take it easy because your friends or they’re not going to make it make you come harder and tell her how good it felt
Mike and Phillip from animal
show me for getting robbed robbed
I’m leaving Frederick written in the week we almost never spoke to the entire show
Chris Carter
oh shit
I’m Jeff Davis and everything
I thought that Pixar movie was fine it’s great
sir please please please don’t be extra video extra for the princess who cried wolf

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