Episode
Description
The squad delves deep into the pros & cons of wolf piss. Schrab schrabs Dan into a crater, while Brandon holds the ship together upon re-entry. Featuring Dan Harmon, Brandon Johnson and Spencer Crittenden.
Transcript
unexpected
if you want high and this happened to you you would be like what
birthday party
fighting everybody
how old is Mia good how are you
think back in your robotic
what song is playing
yeah so much
oh shit
March 31st every day
oh yeah
thanks for coming downtown tonight
I’m in shrubs activating the book Voltron
ship this is a me onesie this is that I’m wearing me undies
come on man I mean what’s the five train again I mean like I don’t know the saying
yeah we we don’t know what that means I just wanted to see if I’ve been gone a while did you notice yeah I do is amazing
you’ll see a four-leaf clover in front of you
oh that’s that’s not nice it’s 2019 you can’t be doing that
awful you’re an awful person I didn’t get paid for Uber maybe that’s why that happened you know he got to earn it even though I did I did tell him to do it as well just go in backstage gags and wearing a onesie and
shot put as Mike and I mug
and I’m drinking out of a what is it called where we are you with an umlaut mateu drinkware for me guys why is that a different type of drink because brumate keeps drinks at the perfect temperature whatever that is that’s the one that does which I suppose it’s like context-aware so the first AI powered drinkware
yeah it I guess it I mean I guess I put some ice in it backstage and it’s not melted yet yeah I do like that they disguise it as a piece of wood little baby coconut it does look very nice all right well there’s not a lot to talk about I did have an epiphany I thought if you wanted to run somebody against Trump just to to beat Trump which I don’t think is the right philosophy I think we should vote our conscience and just let him win I just focus on the stand it I mean I just don’t know how you’re going to eat you know it was this work we and by we I mean every non not see where a divided people and we should be you know who’s United uniform it’s fine if you don’t have to get anything can be like will what are you a gay not so you can be like yeah and they’re like come on in pretend you’re not getting you lately that’s fine like an easy
that’s what we’re fighting when we fight autocracy we fight the blue with whatever he perceives the bad guys so of course is going to be the toughest times you going to be divided 2 years because it’s going to get real ugly with those primary stuff we’re going to be leaving to friends are going to be yelling at each other to get a break my heart I don’t want it it’s the worst it’s the worst thing I kept out of it when we were you leading up to the thing with the Bernese in the Hillary’s and stuff like that sucks but one of those guys was wrong the first time right you know you were like I mean I’ll talk all day Wednesday for the last two years I was like I was like oh God this is awful like to me it’s not even politics just happened to be
obsessed with parking brake God wouldn’t what’s happening is of what it what do you want me to do pretend I’m interested in a frozen pizza for two years and be like the only people that that want that are there bad people but it’s like I don’t even say the wrong cuz I don’t want to listen to a year-and-a-half of podcast where I’m like so fucking bummed out and freaked out. What are we going to do and I don’t want to listen to that but you know I have a lot of anxieties as I did during the last time was like oh primaries are gearing up I was like there’s no way not touching it has stuff that you’re talking about people shouldn’t beef with each other it’s like a socialist in Lakewood water down like liberals shouldn’t like
not like each other about where to go for breakfast they shouldn’t be like Herod each other’s throats out while the guys I perceived the bad guys are like a laughing all the way to the victory line but there’s nothing we could do about it you can’t like demanded that we unite because if you could demand that was your night what are you to do that you know they could be like oh everybody no matter what you think lay your shit aside and like this is the one thing I’ll say just an epiphany here’s are you running against Donald Trump if you’re playing that game where you just want to like knock him out like who is Liam Neeson they’re confused and then he’s racist so they’re like I love it and but he’s like we know it we only know he’s racist cuz he was like honest about it it was like
I used to be racist I don’t want to be and then Susannah some people are going to be like oh that’s kind of cooler than being secretly racist like and then like did you just like you would shuffle all the groups you know but I think you’d come out of the other side is European so you have to do a reverse birther movement like but that’s cool like do that reverse birther hashtag when you have to report proven where you weren’t born yeah yeah yeah there’s no it doesn’t matter if you got an abortion
you used to do that you used to there’s an old episode where you’re doing like Liam Neeson you’re like
Dan Harmon’s podcast you have opinions about things but do you think Spencer has enough cable for the show
every week we got like a couple of spools you got 3000 Series this is 30 m of XLR cable what’s the run of this place like 50 to 60 feet
you could do that I want to sit Spencer and I accidentally both ordered wolf urine from Amazon ordering hope you’re all yeah mine came we should open it up and see if it has documentation to get the ticket in my jeans I don’t know who’s supposed to take care of that certainly not me
going to fuck up the show I kind of I kind of get something like you can look forward to when you if you ever
I only get like a little privilege perk like each had a kind of like I get a little stoked when I get a parking ticket cuz I’m like was that what you trying to do to me scare me like take your fucking valet money it pays for a kids textbooks machine I try to pay him within like 20 minutes of getting them I’ll drive right to the motherfuker you like how’s it going here is where like we’re like so stoked about paying our parking tickets on time and we think we’re like in your face like that man I was for once you guys and it was freaking incredible how hard it was like it was like holy shit man like a partly designed the whole system don’t get so mad that you like
storm my house but like I remember getting parking tickets and being like okay well I have a lot to do today and I have no assistant let alone too and I don’t have it if I did I don’t have they can’t write a check I’ll it’ll bounce and like like you just you just stuck at this thing I guess I’ll pay this sooner or later you put it in your apartment somewhere you know that schitt’s like fucking gone like I need expect it to be 21 days you guys know about theirs is Terry Pratchett quotes about this I have it in the rich were so rich was because they spent less money take boots for example vimes earn $38 a month plus allowances a really good pair of leather boots cost $50 a pair of boots if we’re sort of okay for a season or two at least like hell with the cardboard cave out the cost about $10
pork on a foggy night but the thing is that good boots lasted for years and years a man who could afford $50 had a pair of boots that be keeping his feet dry in ten years time will the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent $100 on boots in the same time it would still have wet feet I mean literally everyone over a certain income get free shoes like if your if you work in the industry like at some point you go over to like the Nike place and what they give you a duffel bag and you walk around and like you still fill your bag with nykesha I’ve never had an appointment because I fucking care about you invited me and then never invited me
but I remember that we were when we first moved here from Milwaukee they called the free free shoes for rich people program as they that’s what they call it glibly what was it called
free shoes for rich people program why am I repeating my show for you like I can’t expect you to pay attention what are you doing back there you playing Minesweeper know you know five years from now we’re going to know that that’s not cool like it’s funny now cuz we’re both dudes or whatever and put five years from now it’s going to be like fucking we we were going to have fixed everything but that shit and you’re going to be rounded up taking it to the street in front of a wine stain
I do and I’m going to laugh I’m going to I’m going to write somebody Brave blogs about what it was a life to fucking stand here and silently shutter
that sounded like I was maybe parroting victims that wasn’t my intention was that that just bullshit people do I’m I’m with you I’m with you how is it that would be abuse I want to know tell me tell me tell me if I’m sexual Brandon or you’re fired
beautiful man listen
and if I tell you why I two years from now I’m going to be fired
what is it is it keeping you warm it is if it’s not what I think it’s oh yeah it’s it’s breathing it’s not it’s not I have a I have a shirt under it I’m in my unders my regular meundies I took my pants off but it’s I’m not getting overheated no water bottle sir he got it he’s cool don’t don’t harass him done nothing wrong
Liam Neeson think it’s a good idea
he’s foreign I don’t end it but just suspend your disbelief like what do we just found out the Trump’s dad’s from Germany that’s got to be unconstitutional and illegal yeah that’s what will you spend your time on instead of how do you get away from the politics cuz it is fascinating like Pete buttegig I’ve heard I heard him mention by Dave Klein said like have you heard about Pete buttig I don’t know if I’m saying it right it’s probably not a veteran rate of Judge town in Indiana Centrist yeah what’s that mean it means equivocating to conservatives
I love this guy and the part of your brain is going to be like do I love them because it feels like he’s got a shot or do I love them because here’s what I’m going to do because I’m just going to look quietly and be like I’m going to vote for for somebody as far as the presidential race I’m just going to pick somebody even if like even if I think they’re going to get like 5,000 votes it like I’m just going to be like in voting my conscience I guess I have to qualify that though cuz even that’s an inflammatory statement right now cuz you guys are like how do you know two years from now you’re not okay well I’ll lick my finger put it in the air if it feels like it’s a fucking intense if there’s somebody that’s been picked I’ll do what I always do I’ll I’ll go up to that one big boulder you know you know full disclosure I was I was doing the Bernie thing until the very moment that the system that were supposed to work and I said now he’s done now and then I pulled the lever for Hillary and it was like
honestly this is me voting for like I don’t think this guy’s a good idea I could see that going bad I do when I feel like syrup Hemlock key to ice agents and stuff but job
AA Roundup what are you saying you’re an intellectual is that what you’re saying like they could hear it’s like the emperor can’t read then like I qualify as like an academic I’m going to be shot before they pick a group to scapegoat they did grab the guys like me first to grab the hippies and teachers in the science lab the hippies first then you
so I’m already done so I’m not trying to do nothing but just like preserve my life why the question is what else are you doing like do you have a bought a gun I mean I mean other than the info I don’t know, I can’t rule anything out there do you teach lessons
cuz I’ve got some spare time coming up do you want to learn to play an instrument I just want I just want lessons would say that my eyes would be melted by now if I wasn’t drinking out of a blue house what’s it called Brew made roommate brumate we are you would you would you like your buddy it’s a it sounds like the name of a product that has to do with brooms
so it was your broom hungry not my bromate
for all you do I don’t want you spoilers but like I am working on this thing on the side I don’t I’m not going to have it on my phone it would be on my iPad but the community movie but there’s this kid did I play this last time maybe I didn’t I can’t remember
well there you go I forgot his nose like a musician dude he remember that song I play I think I talked about this that the song that I played with and then at the end of it I was like all my baby duck just like there’s this guy that he made Cheated lyrics to the whole thing and he played a little acoustic guitar and I didn’t want to spoil it I was going to surprise him by sending him a thing or like where it where like cuz I took his lyrics track into the software that I’m using to and I just like seeing how can I put can I just put his stuff on top of my stuff and like stuff is actually more challenging cuz you know what tempos are always different stuff it’s it’s it’s kind of a big deal and it’s it’s it’s like I try to drag the Mike crivello theme song into into
into an editor I was like I’ll just figure out what temperature it is now I can lay it on top of it I could do like a cool Mike crivello wrap or something but it’s really hard cuz you can’t really get rid of his guitar the baby ducks guy that is a challenge his guitars in there and he’s like he’s going to changing Tempo and stuff like that but I died whatever but yeah anyways I’m planning on doing music what what is it what what’s wrong what can we do for you but how can they show be made better for the show ruiner
if you’re at home right now shots mouth is wide open
talking about the thing and then you’re like I’m not going to play it now you talk about it trying to get us all titillated and then you’re not going to hold on Buddy hold on I’m almost there coming is the username is long socks silver apparently he was going for a reference to a couple people got I don’t know what it is
oh no no no I’m not going to do this to you buddy I’m going to start it on like
sorry but he deserves better
I am the mama duck out on her I need my baby
one day we’ll get to them to stand in line with my baby.
I love baby ducks
I will not leave you. He has long cock silver silver
Long John Silver is a different different guy entirely but I recommend following him on Instagram as well
looks like he’s in where is he
Tracy like a geotag here somewhere who who cares you can type them in an apparent reason New York must be somewhere around traveling wonder what his real name is Larry is in Brooklyn how do you think a New York guy thinks I’m cool enough to do my song but he looks like he’s kind of in the Brooklyn area here alright he’s in all five boroughs music is like, if I can legit but I do. Right now there’s like 13 old black dudes and Memphis doing my baby duck crazy from me is like a harmonica version
yeah and then Cielo gets on one it’s really weird I don’t feel you get him go way back you love The Dungeon Family Family cast yeah he loves it and yeah we danced that entire summer that song wherever you got cuz we play hate of about 14 people at its largest and that summer we we would dance to that song until like 8 in the morning almost we go back to either our fridge a Miner’s house or your house and we can talk in up you’ve never seen
some of the old people in their own private bar like it was like parrotheads but for that goddamn song
parrothead Good Times Man Jimmy Buffett I had a pitch at Netflix today and I was so grateful that they moved there are a place Amazon still hanging out in a Santa Monica Amazon
the people that invented everyone staying in their house forever are the remaining production office that you have to drive 8 hours to get to they are Los Angeles has practice pitch
he is an exaggeration but six is absolutely not depending on what time you’re leaving I mean and usually you’re pitching Amazon out of either at 9:30 a m at 4 to look for selling spatulas we’re making TV we do whatever we want like like come to us baby and like all right so I had this idea I was wrong maybe meet you at fire hydrant and they’re just like their God love them but they’re just like it’s the practice pitchman does like there’s nothing I don’t want his people that sell shows the Amazon I guess I don’t know what they do maybe they just meet me at the noon spot so you leave at 10 a.m. you get there at noon and then they’re like they big they popping adderal like like like halfway through the drive
are there like
LOL that sounds like it sucks wow that sounds really bad that sounds like a really bad situation that you’re going through that’s awful that’s so that’s so that’s too bad that’s terrible if your office is Amazon like or send one of your drones over to hear my pitch Amazon brand
they haven’t completely different onesie thanks those very kind of you audience do you think you’ll ever sit down tonight I honestly I’m not usually this kind of guy but whatever upsets you
oh shit like honestly I can kind of tell I got some sort of thinking in my head I’m laying my cards on the table cuz I’m an honest person like I was like fucking keys behind me cuz he thought that would be annoying and I like what I’m just going to stand here all night so that he’s fucking upstaged but it’s going to drive them nuts because he has he’s admitting he wants to be looked at which app is the biggest parking weakness that has Kryptonite is is is is admitting he wants people to like him
wow yeah yeah that is a weakness yeah a little just say it I want people to like me like people that like me do you want me to like you sure yeah B fucking around all the time for you playing on your phone the whole dried over your complaining of Horrors of the Blue Birds 2 miles away I’m waiting outside catching a death basically what we have is you or the Amazon offices
and you are Dan Harmon at 3 on a Friday yeah all right I’ll move from Santa Monica to Burbank for you I just want to point out that I think that Travis that here because that was the special chair oh yeah this Baby’s got some amount of ounces that is see if it’s dated wolf urine temperature feel like typing hot or like a drug test do you think it needs to be hot to work do you think Grandma do you think they make a picture of a wolf Witcher cross-country Coke in sales over here clearly the best substance on State
send that to that is off
in exchange for p later right over the floor they slowly over 20 years they figured it out like
the world the world gradually like starts filling back up and responds to increasingly sexual behavior pee in the cup always wearing those short shorts
hahaha hahaha but I can’t laugh at it I don’t know but why do you have whoopie I have a coyote problem so it seems like a like a weird joke is going to happen here cuz it’s like it’s just going to attract wolves and like do you eventually I mean I know they sell bear pee it was weird like there’s every kind of animal out there has P for sale obviously humans are selling the piano mean I won’t start getting exploitative but how do we know which wolf P don’t know but here’s what I want to know coyotes going to go like you smell that a wolf took a pee here
what that you’re in my backyard I invented bulldozers what the fuck
with my pee like a baby cuz I’m done alcoholic there’s a lot of things in my backyard can we certainly let’s not lose any of it okay don’t want to watch a Niger go crazy
2 years you got left to say that work
it said it wasn’t like immediate nausea like I wasn’t like it was like it was just an incredibly strong and so is it you can smell it over there well don’t play that your people will start going good we get to complain about something I like it does it say it repels Millennials we don’t need to do that like empty seats we need we need like Pokemon p o n sense jobs we need to move the show to Sunday nights
job yeah property availability of taking it the data seems to suggest agree or disagree maybe with your applies if you feel moved to do you know where would you prefer if we moved to Sunday night like the the tapings okay so we found the people that love it that it’s on Monday the Monday crew okay well you seem nice talking about wolf Bay
but we were at we were at we were looking at the data that we took we took a survey maybe it was among those fans in general or something because there was sit there seem to be kind of a a suggestion from the data that that people would be thrilled if we moved to Sunday nights but I don’t know who you guys pulled
was it the listeners or was it attendees I don’t know the label is very DIY. See it says impact box under the logo that says 100% will be ran in Impact font beneath that territorial marking sent in like Arial bold in red and then there’s a photo of a wolf but that is a pretty impressive logo of a silhouette of a wolf in mid howl and it says like a really proud confident letters at a fucking striking rakish angle original
since 1986 under that in like a very Comic Sans serif font creates the illusion that a wolf is nearby
oh yeah Predator p.com a tradition of quality
Walmart urine bad bad bad bad title that’s not a good predator p
honey you got your package from predator p
label was very discreet I was I was I was happy to see this human hair
that’s impressive Brewhouse program 850 people almost like they’re not even a tradition of quality urine since 1986 I just wanted to read that okay 25 directions for predator p liquid to create a pyramid ER
no no really you mother fucker
I’m proud of them so you know we’re not going to like call ourselves like an industrial part of your world like before lasers and parking things and guess what coyotes don’t care about your lasers they probably would if you shot him with one speaker was okay so I bought this and I also bought a slingshot
but I’m not going to aim for the coyotes I just got but I got like a laser guided slingshot
it’s crazy the illustration of the Amazon thing I sent to Camille at he probably was offended but cuz it got kind of look like Kumail leg leg doesn’t think I just like some do the Italian guy but he had his head at the right angle I just literally looked as I come out of this is I think this endorsement you text him a lot just when I want them time what are you going to hit with that slingshot I’m just going to I just got I’m just going to I just want to kiss here’s the thing okay the coyotes you already know no, I’m not going to do anything violent to another animal but like I can’t like I can’t buy in action allow violence to happen tonight so like
Brown probably refugees from the fire nobody’s fault I got video of one of them cuz they came out in the day beautiful creature I expected it would look more like crazy like mangy like on Resident Evil Zombie Dogz the way they sound but they look kind of like they’re they’re just they like deer Pelt kind of things are like rabbit like they’re kind of like beautiful camouflage like with these big pointy ears and yeah and they’re all they’re all genetically compatible with wolves and dogs and stuff in the genus is like just a big free for all all the other we had coyotes and wolves to our sapiens at one point we just fucking scrub them out
we were like you guys want to go to a rave and then you and your thoughts were like what’s that or like fuck you you idiot fucking no tweeting fucking caveman ass so what are you doing back to other cultures oh yeah what are you doing making a dreamcatcher to bury with my lifelong mate because I love her and believe in an afterlife can’t hear you over the sound of me killing you that’s what happened we were the killing ones you woke now you’re going back five thousand Millennia don’t look it up to create a pyramid or saturate sent tags oh great so hidden costs I didn’t order any boy I fill a fill-in 33-day dispensers fucking P Barons he Baron
I think I know what the puppy dispenser is a hard dick
I was right the whole bottle tops to wear there is that okay Jesus is designed to make it easy to say. Predator p for applications on lawns flower beds Gardens in other areas where creating a pyramid would be impractical for a 10 square foot diameter area to help you direct pets to the areas of your yard that you designate as pet restrooms so make those smell like won’t be make the pet restroom stall a entry to 10 square foot diameter area
oh so that’s the pyramid are the stars on what they want of your yard so I will be free right now we just need to get that that that that wall area kind of beat up these things come around
the dogs freaked out they like want to go out there and talk to them and I was so used to be like okay going back like 6 weeks three months maybe like it’s been getting more intense like very aggressive coyote Behavior happening and I go downstairs turn the kitchen light the Lego quiet so you know little after that days a week later turn the kitchen light on work anymore. Go out the back door okay now they shut up and so on and so forth from their like leading to me with the fucking like stick going like
and and then the most humiliating this is why I bought a weapon now from Amazon is because I’m not I was like dude like this is really humiliating good like me standing on a ladder like like shaking a stick at them and going
like I felt like I already have a small penis it shrank leg into my abdomen like my penis is in one of my nipples now. Like like I got cussed out by some fucking monster dogs and you think that this slingshot you will restrain yourself with you like a rats everywhere midrocks are inimical bowl is that a word what is that mean she had their society is that progress or is that a bad thing you’re facing them out because you could get hit someone with him and stuff they don’t want people just like to be able to break into someone’s car with just a piece of the environment I believe she is proposing to you you should use that when I went to my ice maker I got a bucket eyesight through I said after after about 5 minutes after I said they stopped I’m pretty sure because they were like thank you that’s been
I was dehydrated you’re hitting them with ice hear you hitting I’m you think I’m like I don’t know where you are or where they are the situation backyard and I was like D&D I’m in my backyard I’m facing the back walls and north wall in my backyard I’m standing on a bar stool and so I am I level with the with the ground being and I can hear them in the pitch black but in that yard right oh yeah okay yeah that’s the figure you know it and I just said they just kept kept me up in and then after a while they stopped I truly believe they’re like this is delicious but they’re turning you basically into a person who is reaching out to a company that makes devices that are rudimentary to attack them
that’s funny yet you have really gone to their level at this point at an order through a really profound ordering from sucking Amazon it’s the Acme that’s incredible I’m crazy like three strap like create like laser-guided things I’ve been saying it’s 100% like parallel I cannot wait to see the rocket that you build
I didn’t think I don’t know what I was thinking is I throw that sounds like they’re eating the ice and now they like me and then I thought well if they can shut the fuck up and never eat my dog’s I will say you know maybe they’re eating like raccoons skunks fruit people who keep outdoor for I want their odors to suffer for making them outdoor cats so that in a long-term people love their cat enough to keep them indoors but so you know it’s it’s complicated I’m like that guy in The Watchman who was like let’s start a nuclear war will have World Peace Ozymandias
what’s what’s what’s happening what are you talkin about I’m just listening to you talk man just listening I don’t like this at all this makes me uncomfortable that’s addressed out of it a long time but I don’t think I don’t think don’t think the flick shot is your boy if the coyote I think I’m going to the yard like nipping my phone whenever I know but so is the one where it’s like it’s a zero-sum game inappropriate Fraser the day that one of those fuckers does tumble into the yard right it’s like
iaea it’s going to be an extreme situation and I don’t think a slingshot in the tool for that either like at that point I don’t know what to do but I’m looking at that as a reason why I want them to like Scoot a little bit because I feel like there is a pop of theirs it’s going to be like hunger days or something like fall into the backyard it could it could be a mess you know that I promise that that neighbor’s yard is just coyote HQ why is it already updated on that we we have their phone number we’re going to actually just go out but we don’t think they live there necessarily so bugger Bulldog that would fall into that thing’s alive it’s Rambo brain because it just walks around back there where there’s nothing but coyotes I would be amazing to see it like like to walk back there and find it like hiding like
just breathing through you listen to I told Spencer like I’m really interested in your take on the guy I call Asperger detective or a and I call him that and they handle I felt today inclined to iterate that like it right that means say
I felt inclined to just say you know I said I call him Asperger detective cuz I wouldn’t do it if I thought that that would offend him so I got somebody if somebody is doing a podcast in the sound like they had a harelip and they never mentioned their harelip I wouldn’t be like the guy I mean maybe with Cody or somebody really want to listen to her but like it you know I think the guy is good like based on his comments and stuff I feel like whether he has Asperger’s or not he’d be like that that’s kind of cool I keep you like punk rock about it but it’s at the so so I just wanted to say that I do you know it’s hard these days I don’t want to I don’t want to be hurtful to any real people
I just want to I just want people to leave me alone give me money I don’t even I don’t need you to come here I don’t need to keep doing this show I just this kind of momentum momentum at this point it’s kind of drifting you know I’m very happy just want to steal it take take my money I didn’t mean to say steel it’s only earned every penny my job is very hard and take it by a big house disappear into the west wing and and you’ll hear like just the sound of a man eating a chocolate sundae
and that that’ll be my equivalent of a single gunshot just like a week of chocolate sundae eating the same thing and Spider-Man comic what he died
what do you what did he say before that what did you say I got to do this for like 10 more years do you die
play The Curse of the Golden Girls like onions I had died of The Golden Girls asked the question if I didn’t know what I could put it together there was an onion headline I was like someone dies and it is continuing a curse of the cast of Golden Girls because that the joke is date they were at an age where it would be fully appropriate statistically for them to be dying at the rate that they haha all right it’s pretty funny I like that
oh okay so you were asking you were asking Spencer why he thought you said you listen to 13 episodes of this cuz I’ve been listening to him I don’t know if he’s maybe he sold the show is the guy like writing an essay essentially and then he just read the essay on on the podcast because it’s like it’s not like there’s not room for his just personal musings it’s all just straight like a script easier through it which is it a I I don’t know sometimes it sounds like the most stupid pretentious shit like sometimes he focuses on stuff like there is the one where he was focusing on like I don’t know there’s the guy whose wife fell down the stairs or he killed her or whatever and then like the 911 calls like she fell down the stairs and the ladies like how many stairs and he was like what and then then then he was like why did he say what
that’s a stupid question of the matter how many fucking stairs someone fell down I’ll be like what the fuck are you talking about so I don’t know let me count yeah it’s like that’s not that’s not helpful it is though because you want to know should you send some cops or an ambulance or a ladder why don’t you sort it out afterwards I have my wife’s dead or dying you cannot legally does unsolved stuff and then he proposes a theory because it reminds me of agent Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks because deal Cooper rolls into your town in your like we find out who killed Laura Palmer right so and so you call the FBI when it’s like the resources are exhausted and David Lynch’s Universe the FBI is equivalent to like weird like shamanic fear of civilization but like Dale Cooper is like he’s he’s he’s learned how to like it’s like if only for the sake of being lateral because nothing else is working it’s like oh
throw rocks at a tin can like and if it is sort of like a total like flipping a coin or John Swanson a widget to the woods and never came back. People have been talking about this for quite a while but the one thing that they can’t figure out is whether or not his friend didn’t or whether or not it was murder but here’s the thing I’d like to look at the case through the lens of parabolic turns law like nerdy hope it will be like good like the interesting thing is that him going off the path reminds me of The Breakfast Club It Was a Movie by John Hughes Hughes made movies in 1980 and all of his movies pretended to involve two different groups of people forced to get along together and learning things like he doesn’t like tears of like these themes
violation or something and then every once in a while he’ll just throw a fucking spark plug and and heat because his episodes of three and a half hours like he never listens to him again or edits I’m so so every once in awhile your episodes are short and I listen at 2x speed
the lack of Technology will even be symbolize in their deaths if I use the phone cord to create their bindings
so all of this crazy reached for a leftover rice to the microphone apps is there a and I really hot ganas for the situations where like you know I don’t I don’t want I’m not I’m not punching down punches I was punching up I don’t want to be punching Lake which is why I didn’t add I said I just hate this like feeling of like like him getting like receiving in the wrong way they want to know that like I mean obviously he’s a part of our life we love him like he’s like we keep listening and listening in this thing I totally like I see his haters and reviews and I can understand what they’re saying but I’m like I hate them like they’re haters and like I like the guy he’s like so brazenly fucking like lateral I also like really worried about him sometimes like he
one where he like started talking about like he went straight into like fucking numerology or something where he was like I can’t wait to drop it in Ramsey was found in the train room there have been three main functions of locomotion since the beginning of the Industrial Revolution write that’s why I want to hear back around to be like we should look at this murder scene from the perspective of how much energy it takes to get from A to B and consistently the human race has a tendency to comparative if you expend more resources that you acquire by going where you’re going and then he’ll work his way around he’s just what he’s really saying is like no one that’s looked at the crime scene has has necessarily found the fingerprint that says exactly what happened so why not just like spin around like a pinata game and kind of like stop and look at it from now the crazy perspective and if you look at the JonBenet Ramsey home crime scene maybe from this purse
active with a transportation then he’ll come up with this theory of like over Gordon Ramsay is the only member of the ramp and it wasn’t present in the house when at aspects of it are not up to Snuff he’s a man who won’t tolerate order house would have killed JonBenet Ramsey mobile different take on the job in the residence within there was this one or was like to take this family got murdered in a cabin and it was like I was like maybe I’m not hearing them right but I think he’s like
he’s he’s detached and he’s like floating off like a balloon like cuz he was like the cabin the cabin number was 4 8 6 in 1986 Steven Spielberg came out with the something I always liked it wasn’t about the movies and then you guys are really cool that’s wrong I’m saying like I did when he really does is like there’s a guy he’s accusing of making up a fake murderer and he’s like and who was that murders name Romano Romero he sits are our which indicates he was trying to complete the cycle and give the person what they wanted right it’s like wool it said that this one was like he went from like the date of the murders or the address to like from the date of the murders still like the date of a movie release are like like like back then I like taking airplane somewhere as like a new think of the murdered happened okay the murders happened in like a cabin in the like eight
he’s when domestic like Resorts that people would take vacations to so he reference the movie Vacation he references the movie Dirty Dancing which does not take place of the eighties but it was made in the 80s but he references these movies that symbolize the fact that there was a trance a trance trance what’s the word a tendency transition in you lost that word I’m old and drunk and I’m the first and you going to miss me you won’t know why cuz you won’t remember who I am but it’s good it’s called getting haunted
she finished my business I don’t know what I’m saying I have no idea what is about examining like the human human mind human Tendencies and he’s like so I’m not like he did cereal and he did Adnan and he like analyzed while I called eat the murder really closely replicates his his oppressed lifestyle or something and so is angle is like this all lines up from a human behavioral sperspective and in a lot of these cases fall apart because you get hung up on the evidence and really it’s about matching whether or not like all the emotional mental state the people wind up with a crime because usually again people know each other when they commit crimes of passion and so that usually indicate some sort of pattern of behavior playing out of cream I think it’s like that’s for fast animals lived a very fine line cuz like I remember when the internet first like kind of was blossoming and one of my most I was particularly fascinated with with people who
were forgive me but clearly schizophrenic like who at that you know it was sort of like the people just have like websites you know there was no Tumblr there was no like you know I was just sort of like some of the first people into the World Wide Web the book because it was like a place for like a burnt stuff and like there was a lot of websites you would find it was just people going like this is this is my story like it was in 1997 when I realize that Harrison Ford was like feel like trying to read my mind and like their whole like the story and they’re very like hyper what do you call a typographic I don’t know if that’s the correct term but like like they just at a time when the internet was all just like text and it was like like like like like people with tragic mental illnesses like like watching them your guys are like I know but I’m saying like the the crazy the the the the interest fascinating thing to me is always been like one of these lines you know like what the drop of chemical
spark that could jump from one little part of your circuit board to another makes a big difference between someone who is valued at Nasa for figuring out like how to rock it should do this and then some poor kid that like when you’re 20 years old they just realize their shoes are hot dogs and they just get expunged from society and they’re homeless under a bridge because we don’t respect like mental illnesses as regular illness and like in lake lake so when I’m listening to ask for detective and he like he he every once in awhile I kind of went from like a date in his cabin so he had looked like the Zeitgeist of air travel it with you in like the cult American culture like how Resorts were closing down because people were now a Air airlines were affordable two people were going to Europe more so there were places in America where cabins became like cheaper and like the clientele became more impoverished and so they got more run down and so price has kept going down and basically like he was making the case that like he’s like there’s a
these places that used to be fancy that became like like the hotel in The Shining but for regular customers or just like these freaking Suggs or whatever I have no idea if he’s like the base than any accurate data but he was like that was his kind of zeitgeist for this and that’s one of these places where the murder took place he’s already got like his airplane thing going on his head and then it’s like it was like the murders happening on this date and then he’s like interesting Lee enough that was the date of like I don’t know back to the Futures release or something and it was like Back to the Future is about Marty McFly part of the younger generation who takes a car that’s capable of flying Lotus and then he goes like the sequel to this movie or not movie happened at this time and and the the the what the heck out of the box office with 498 million dollars
so you have to ask was there a cabin with the address 498 and if there is would there be another person there was a suspect in the murder and what do you know and I was like what no that’s not that’s not what you usually do Dale Cooper you just you just got a lead about who to arrest from a fucking Jaws movie like that’s that maybe I heard it wrong but I was like always here every once in a while just like the Hot Wheels track a little bit but I can’t remember but he he accuses the guy of realizing he wanted to commit the murder after he saw a movie and he was like oh and I was like why did he do it because the movie was the Ghost of his past it was played out when they store the storm the Nazi Castle did not see castle castle was storing his poor memories or so that I don’t even know maybe the facts of the case
this movie but the guy was just a sturdy like this guy did it and it was because he watched this movie and this movie is the perfect the analog for his life and that’s why he murdered it is like this is all interactions you know it in human perception I think we all are playing the sort of detective throughout the Damned a right because because he is able to say I don’t get the answer I don’t get to choose the right answer to the way he works backwards it’s super interesting and I keep his ass personalizing on air base because I saw what kind of car I drive right now they made a judgment about me cuz it’s today and get you cuz he’s like such a yeah he’s like you can tell like he’s he’s driven by like I’m like truly like a fetish for explanation like I feel like the he he actually liked more even more than
me which is a lot like he just loves the feeling of explaining it’s like howling like that he’d become like when a dog puts his head out the window and probably just doesn’t even know he’s just like I can’t I’m going to explain this and Kayden goes like this is the thing and like that’s the sound you make when you’re when you’re in lightning people and he’s just like it’s like it’s a Go baby go I don’t even look back what is that pork doing what is that Port doing with that adapter is always talks about all this weird stuff like he’s like he’s like this is a port and it needs an adapter so who was the adapter Adnan to religion perfectly into the port of Oppression or something like that it was real it like he goes really hard but he said some stuff that like to me was like really really profound or whatever like he he talked about like what a healthy person goes on vacation they just realized it’s a change and don’t return to the normal but when an unhealthy person goes on vacation dear looking for
Steve from the reality and when they realize the Escape isn’t from the from the problems they actually brought to it they get upset and then when they return and things haven’t changed they lose their minds or whatever smells like holy shit like this guy is just saying truth and I like never thought about it was like blow my my he was saying like people say they drink to forget but what they’re actually doing is a communing with the past and I was like oh damn I feel sad now
are cuz I die I smoke a lot of pot and I was like oh fuck that’s me baby but it was just like that’s the thing but a lot of times you’re like you’re you’re just being an asshole crazy do you think we should let me know what I mean but I don’t know I don’t know like you know Dan Harmon with Willy Wonka reaches out with his golden ticket to the world that like spoils relationships that that should really stay maybe consumer relationships I don’t know like I’m like Kim Jeong the fucking Seth Rogen movie that was that almost caused a nuclear does he have a criminology is a background is he a writer all these things that you want to know cuz if if he’s like I got to fill 3 hours to of course I’m
pontificate because I’m a writer but it seems like just a lay person who is talking about these things that’s super fast in a heartbeat just because I think there are you guys listen to Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History basically yeah, I don’t give a shit you don’t give a shit with my ass wipe ass wipe there is really interesting I listen to Dan Carlin and I was like this guy sounds a lot like both Zach Galifianakis and Heath Ledger and and then I went and that made me realize like why they Caskey’s Zach as the Joker in the Lego Batman movie
translate like somebody must have been like I sound a little bit like do you think all right whatever it sounds like George Carlin Hardcore History has like a couple episodes were like Cody and I were both like I don’t get it like I’m not in a good way and I was like like he can feel. Don’t feel like pressure to like listen to that one skip around and I guarantee you’ll find one that for whatever reason just gets its hooks in you from the first sentence and there’s no reason for you to not hold out for that and it late like like it’ll it was like a very healthy things I was like wait history it’s true crime but you’re kind of learning stuff like that’s why I asked you what are you going to be involved in if you’re not going to be you know like we all were sort of glue to the politics this is a great answer
withdrawals and stuff like that and I recently had like a fucking like I said I had to delete the Reddit app again cuz I was like in there for a little bit and then I just found myself for 3 hours just like I deleted it for the good of mankind but I I got my Instagram which is a thing where the okay if you if you make up thing that’s a minute-long you can put it up here if somebody underneath it says anything other than I’m really happy that you’re happy you can be like go fuck yourself and if they say that’s how you treat your fans if you feel like yeah that is go fuck yourself again and if they say like that’s fucked up in 5 people come in and say you’re fucked up I can go to get all fucked up shut up I don’t care like it doesn’t feel like it’s going to end up in TMZ is rush I don’t mean to flatter myself when I seen it with like a fucking fingers crossed like I just want to be like like recoiled a little bit like on the cyclical it’s a weird thing of the old social media you you have to take a break
driven you do you like Instagram Blake if you find that Instagram is like I find if content-driven what’s going on with you just tell us with what just in general like what the fuck is wrong with you let’s come on what’s wrong with what did your parents do wrong tell me what’s wrong with me here we go finally I finally get to find out background sorry Steve you’re not still at like maybe it was never politically correct but what it was like within bounds like if there was no leak but like we talked the other day like you’re like 20 in Milwaukee and like like we were just at the improv troupe that we were in was all dudes and we were constantly humping each other like as a bit to make no fucking sense
there’s a problem and Millennials there like an impromptu it’s like like like like a hump each other like
excitebike calling problematization yeah I don’t remember that but I was like it was like combing his hair in the bathroom and I think like you started if you started the Chinese mining like you were humping and then of course I had to get back and then and then he would like act like he was like reading the paper walking checking the schedule out there just like another person would be like it would be you know kind of like the line of thought everybody was upon each other we would be chanting get aboard the butt fuck train and I want to say we did that for maybe hours does Pat Knight Death never stop being funny and hilarious because like Sean would be in the front and just like acting like
if you busy and I haven’t really is something whatever I don’t have a problem at times it looks like there’s as much as they can do that but we were thirteen we were like that and then there was another wave of it’s like when I was 18 with a pack of dudes that I ran with and they called at fixing stuff is that we were like he’s like well it’s a joke and then it was like we were like yeah I was like the more likely committed in the Border like abusive like it it’s like oh that is like I look back at that and I got like well that’s not your kind of like actually weeding out maybe a bunch of funny people who would like like be like well I’m not going to hang out with those people
flashlights and they might be really smart and funny and legs but anyways wait I was I only brought it up because I just at my house and my dad like sitting at the counter and like a I know it’s just a but it’s just amazing that you grabbed me from behind and we’re like pantomiming like thrusting into me and you and you and you and you did you help me by the shoulders and in and through clenched teeth said look at your father while I do this to you
and my dad was like this is pretty cool I mean like it was committing I was young and bright red and I had this big grin on his face which you know it was like it was like it was like if I did was wrong with me what is wrong with money and it was 1950 I mean I don’t I don’t I don’t mean to like I look I feel like I like my personal feeling it’s easier cuz we’re old or like of course we want to feel this way it looks it’s not an excuse but I do think that there should be a little bit of awareness of like wall
actually said you know how many times have I like kind of lambasted my parents for their kind of like we do behavior that became unfashionable as of the eighties and then I was you know even on this stage in my late 30s like kind of like who really like you. Like I kind of like fucking play that card like oh they did this they did that and like my mom’s excuse was I was like it was the seventies everybody did it like you know like oh like get it like now that’s what Comics are saying like about like we found this thing from 1989 when you were at the club doing this thing and we find the sitcom or whatever it was like what is on NBC I don’t know what to tell you that it’s like kind of like neither it’s that doesn’t make it good but at the same time it isn’t it sort of like I guess we’re sure of having that debate now but anything to go then shift on the past when you could be fixing things in the present time
I’d like we were so okay so we weren’t like you know that we were twenty and it was like that was the thing that made my dad red and it wasn’t because he was like Angry didn’t feel she’s thresholds being pushed it wasn’t like it was look like like it wasn’t like we were eating my dad it was about him making somebody feel uncomfortable that way but my tire my dad is very much like I don’t know how to react to you guys like I don’t understand your humor you know which I think is a good thing it culturally for between Generations you guys are like I think the people 20 years younger than me you should like dude, D that makes me go like what the fuc which I do see all the time
Let’s Play a clip of called the Picasso’s thumb
when you think about that
can I talk to you for a second about washing your ass crack I don’t want to hear your butt crumbs in mind
I love you girls with some of y’all need to wash off a robber you doing like a is that a lot of your older material from the felt like you did good that night I felt like I did get that I listen to the cheering I did do a little bit of a
crazy white guy comes out you kind of did the you know they were being supportive like I don’t know that means that you did not respond positively to your special isn’t getting good Netflix’s yeah okay well I don’t want to be a negative Gus
okay good we got another clip how was
how come Irish people always got to be running around rainbow
they always rainbow Edition
it sounds like some people came to the Netflix cuz they remembered you yeah I get that
Joseph 45 minutes or was it for $46 digital sketching the beginning to come out of the Cavs on stage at school pretty cool he’s like the Cavs in the video and then you open the cap during your age I think that’s cool were you were you at Memphis was I a Memphis Memphis were you in Memphis I was in Memphis what did you feed was their food how wasn’t Mentos Metro to Memphis I love how long were you there
are you being serious yeah I’ll text you in a bit or so so I probably am getting a little of this Wednesday is Wednesday plus the lights I am getting just really boring is a consumer dating like not designed for sitting under hot lights but I thought I didn’t get out of here very comfortable pajamas how was Atlanta I didn’t see much of it I was working a lot but I don’t even like the traffic lights aren’t they different than us now isn’t Europe you know they are I’ve been there I didn’t notice anything well then you’re weird how was Atlanta oh man I had a great time they had traffic lights on strings I tell you how is that what you meant I’ve seen it before but yeah it’s
cuz you live somewhere else before here huh are we I don’t enjoy The Blues Brothers movie
friends and career is here
Fairmount what do you think what you guys think
brat okay
I think you’re trying to trick me
I think they all didn’t watch it in our line
did we talk about the Stan and Ollie movie up here cuz I don’t think so. So don’t ruin that too it’s pretty ruined all right okay so alright so glad that is a piece of shit wow what I want to do I don’t know about the performances like Coogan’s doing what’s his face like is like I don’t know what’s more impressive because maybe it’s because I’m a big guy that would probably be between the two of them cast as the other guy so I feel like I feel like I’d go what are you doing love cereal and that’s probably easier to do than the other guy I thought Coogan Coogan
like in my seat like cringing cuz I would know that the composer was sitting somewhere in the theater and as an actor that wasn’t in the edit mad do like I didn’t know they were going to play this music from front to back of the tire fucking movie I feel that you watch over you imagine the music stripped out as well as music that’s like these guys are doing something funny now and which is just fucking death I’m going to be brutally brutally honest just big rock block is 30 Rock I always thought like 30 Rock would be good could be like the new Mary Tyler Moore it was whatever it was a great show emmy-winning very best comedy writers of the since it, really like the richest areas that is the funniest show and I just always felt like is like that too but just like it just just pull it out
like the kind that thank you wonderful job like that’s very clearly that that song makes it very clear that she’s walking down the hallway and that she has a secret wish but like I can also see it on her face and it just think that if we just got out of there that the Speeder bike scene in this Redwood forest can do the job for itself
there’s nothing worse to me than like yeah I like somebody doing something quirky and a movie and quirky music playing it’s too late like what is the what is the music think we’re you think we don’t understand lately that’s crazy I think that music should be like a different Channel you know it should be like it should be ironic ironic because because the music is there
I just heard you I got to work and I did I tell you like when when the Sarah Silverman program sorry got like canceled Justin’s dad like I will we were hanging out with Justin and Justin’s Dan goes to show got cancelled it you should you should you should pitch it to channel 4 they do a lot of really crazy stuff on channel for you should you should really
they would put it on
Channel 4 that’s us now by Channel 4
I was curious like I went to a website cuz we are curious I was like we’re talking about parking enforcement and you know like you’ve seen them like perched in like waiting and of course you then you realize I go there they must work on a quota like there’s no way that they just did you make the same amount of money and get the same amount of respect as a parking enforcement officer if you come back to the office and be like everybody Park great today like they’re going to be like I don’t believe you fuck you. Like I could see the fucker waiting for me. It’s like it’s just sad like a quota it’s like like they work on commission which to me cross is a line where it’s like will of course that’s going to that means that to me when I hear that that means that they’re getting paid less than men
wedge. It’s like oh okay probably in may be a necessary evil I be able to argue cuz like what what do you supposed to do but like the commission thing it’s like it’s like like it’s a door and then but anyways I was like we aren’t those people all cops somebody was telling me the story about there watching a guy they’re having coffee they watched a guy classic story some of you have been in it or at least seeing it the the meter The Meters 5 seconds from running out the parking enforcement persons standing there waiting the the they take their pan out they start writing the thing they probably use emojis now I don’t know but the person who runs out I’ve been this guy runs out like come on I’m out here with the change in my hand and by the way Miss Nomar changed
at last made me want to kill myself I would have preferred that pity your life by the way that’s that was a physician statement if you’re having thoughts of self-harm to talk to somebody the argument cuz it’s like the paper and my friend said that he was there for the he was watching his having copies watching this thing transfixed and the guy is so frustrated so outraged and he shoves the parking lot for parking enforcement person and the freaking freshman person does not react but lately it’s almost like it happens all the time like didn’t react like
you like cool as a cucumber like walked over to their thing and got on a CB and versus just sitting here having coffee so they’re there 10 minutes later we’ll just like swarms of parking enforcement people not cops all of the all of the parking enforcement people act like they all got the call the code read like how to figure out if someone’s fucking with the someone crossed The Thin Blue Line
so they all just start writing ticket I don’t know how they are there was like what weight Woods aren’t they cops get isn’t that assaulted like now they’re not quite caught their officers so we started like do we got a line we’re like what how does this work if you’re a parking enforcement people were at the park enforcement please it’s like I talk to this like I don’t know if I talk right off of to hear your stories and how that works. I’m not kidding I don’t do you think I would be like if you met a parking enforcement officer at a party wouldn’t you be when you have like several questions why are you going to college in here
what you want to do I’m not I’m not saying they’re all heroes but I’m just saying like they’re not come on I mean that’s where I grew up thinking that the only way to become one was to have the the chief tell you that your hijinks are gone on long enough and that the mayor is calling from downtown I always thought that old man these guys are like the worst of the worst cops like they’re ready to snap lately yesterday like he’s waiting for me to give him an excuse to put his like hold out 22 on my body and sprinkle cocaine on my face just leave me in an alley
the mother was parked in front of your house in the website like how do you become a parking enforcement officer and it was like you couldn’t figure it out and I was like see I told you cuz the list is like hidden from the public and then he started ripping the letters like well if the mare is sick of your shit like a recipe and I like just the kind of like that the prerequisites of becoming a thing in web for it would have been funny like the bullet point first you need a writ from the chief that he’s been touring to do asphalt
yeah and it goes on and on from there and I’m what am I Jay Leno it’s not going to be going to fly I didn’t really write any of them I don’t care what you think getting over an approval addiction it’s important for me to tell you to go fuck yourself it’s not it. I want you to not have to pay for therapy to know that that shouldn’t matter to you I didn’t mean it I’m thinking about myself
finally
is it say about Stan and Ollie movie can I warn you about something that is going to like really bum you out ruin it for me because I wanted to try to watch it and maybe a movie makes the incredibly curious decision to fade in on the two of them at the peak of their career just before it’s over is a cold open and you see one scene from that so it’s sort of like this is where things ended and then it goes to black and it says 16 years later
and the entire movie is them
old and failed and failing and dying and that’s the whole movie
that’s kind of wood
the synopsis of it is
when you when you say when you read about it I knew that okay
so you’re going to love it I don’t know yet cuz you got like that about it I thought it was a strange choice just because and then you’re going to say oh what do you want why don’t know what I said yeah
I want to put a my fucking like Philistine for thinking like okay can I make 90 minutes hundred minutes give me 20 of the two of them as individuals 10 pages each cycle I can you play show me meeting is on meeting Across the Threshold of them working together show them rising to prominence meet with the goddess of page six and fucking like and then have difficulty start to have Interra mass under but then they choose each other over the system I mean I’m not saying like tell me which story happened but I’m just saying like that racism but I think the problem probably was that they were sort of like the monkeys I mean they were assembled right I got that implication from the from the movie maybe that they were placed together that was more like you’re funny and you’re funny you guys should do like a fat guy skinny guy act still even if I say that I let him I’d love to be a fly on the wall of that scene
because God this guy he doesn’t like
I was I purposely didn’t watch it because you and Cody said we should watch it I come back from Atlanta you watch it and the last three times we’ve hung out you telling me how shity it is I don’t even get a chance to watch it on tinted you tainted it you always painted my stuff why you got a team so much or more one more please I’m sorry about that I didn’t really like I’ll tell you the truth I didn’t I had a chance to watch it and I said no we all said we were going to watch it together and I would have been a nice moment and now we don’t have that moment
come outside
you so busy fucking with these coyotes you can’t be a real friend the more you know
I know you and Dino I was rubbing it really inspired by I watched it with you and you explain the whole time this is Greg Louganis this is great and like seems like a long time to get out of prison I love it I mean what’s not to love I’m going to watch it
you know you got one Ally thousand people to like watch that without having seen The Blues Brothers watch their faces be like like I don’t know what they would be like though it was it’s not it’s like how did this get made did I think so fucking odd so but to me it kind of director it to me part of The Blues Brothers 2000 does is it is it shines a spotlight here’s the thing the spotlight on Blues Brothers is indicative of a time in our country’s history when people were in love with the blues what are the blue blue is the color so I intend to look at the JonBenet Ramsey case of the chromatics back from there are three kinds of colors that complement each other pink is opposite of blue
through orange if you add the three together you get orange blue the I think Burke Ramsey and Gordon Ramsay had an orange Orchard because it’s like it’s shot in HD and it’s sort of like it’s definitely very much in the most incentivised to recapture the magic of the first one and it’s kind of interesting to me that like when you try to recapture the magic of the first one that you do you end up with something incredibly confusing is it one of those movies were just sort of like you’re having a good time like Easy Rider you want me to be running around here like look I’ll take a flyer on this being historical but to me it looks like guys dickin around like a butt bigger but then you find out it was important that they were digging around they needed to dick around so important I was like okay so good movie becomes like a little bit you got one foot out like always a good movie because it said
you the Paramount or something
do acid in a cemetery okay cuz they were a little darker and more alternate at the outfits weren’t like you had Robin Williams so there is that where there’s like three or four kids and then there wasn’t a lot of Chicago film archives so that was like a home-based win for all the all the comedians in the scene that was in the midwest it be like if Dana Gould got famous doing a show in San Francisco everybody like that fucking shit was amazing in San Francisco so you got die-hard Chicago and spread out in ale and a New York that rep that movie because it’s there like first like a fucking those are our guys that’s our home team that’s our movie so they quote it like Star Wars fans do this is all stuff that’s not in the movie It’s rest of it out smeared outside the movie
that it’s like so if you understood how important this movie was to Chicago and to improv in the comedy into a generation and to think I read the Saturday Night Live Like book whichever one was like I don’t know why for New York like a oral history one that kind of walk you through it was sort of semi authorized and that it was like interviews with everybody and and and that was the part that had me because that was before my time it was a little kid and remember the Blues Brothers being a thing but I was like always sort of like what’s going on with this grown-up shit like why are these why are they a bit like Mommy why do they care that that fat man is like doing a somersault in super you like my mom didn’t have my mom didn’t go like you got to understand Chicago’s finally getting its props in the comedy scene and only alternative is Robin Williams in my mom is just like I think my mom is enjoying the Blues Brothers and she was probably like it’s just fun for him to dance or something and I was like yeah
like when do we when did when are you allowed to be like this movie I mean that’s why it doesn’t say any time I don’t like this movie and it’s okay it’s okay it’s alright go ahead
oh shit I like the nun scene I like how hard she hit some yeah it’s hilarious
yeah
I guess we could eat we could get him for sure he’s a big Community fan he gave me an easy he was that he was one of the most flattering Community compliment you what Cannonball Run
yeah I like cannibals I was a kid I don’t know if I’ve never ever ever win the last time we went Cannonball Run we watched it that’s what it reminds me of here’s the thing so
summer that Cannonball Run comes out is also the same Summers Raiders of the Lost Ark comes out and I’m about to go to the movies and my aunt and my next door neighbor Shelly lipke says don’t go see Raiders of the Lost Ark it’s so gross stay there and pick up melting at the end go see Cannonball Run best movie at the best movie of the year all right then and I sit down and I watch it and I go well that I don’t know if it was the best movie of the year but I thought it was okay I thought it was all right so I never saw the Raiders in the theater what until I never saw it in the theater I had to wait till late and I didn’t see it in Cape because we didn’t have cable I had to wait till it came out on VHS
that was the first time that the only time I saw it and use the other one and this one I can’t blame on anybody
same here same summer Back to the Future came out was also the same summer that Transylvania 6-5000 came out and I went Jeff goldblum’s funny I’m going to go see it and enjoy myself and loved smile from you there every joke landed perfectly I thought it was hilarious I walked out I was quoting it for weeks and people kept saying you didn’t see Back to the Future I like what I can watch Michael j.fox on television I’m seeing Jeff Goldblum and Ed Begley Jr
goofing off Transylvania this is gold I’m telling you my friends to see Spaceballs I was like you don’t get it they got this guy’s the master of Comedy he made Young Frankenstein black and he’s been like he’s doing a Star Wars movie is going to be amazing my friends backed out there like what the fuck is wrong with you guys at I can’t I look at I remember going with my friends I was I was we were still not 17 I don’t know what we were but we wanted to see Beverly Hills Cop 2 and we went to the theater we bought the tickets to Project X with Matthew Broderick it’s about monkeys getting irradiated and and Matthew Broderick dealing with it and we went into the Beverly Hills Cop II theater there was it was like it was sold out so we were like three 12 year olds sitting in the aisle in a rated R movie so it wasn’t long
for we got ushered and we got ushered into the theater that we bought tickets for it we started watching Project X which I had no missed the first 10 minutes of but I was immediately fucking enthralled by cuz it’s Matthew Broderick dealing with the slow realization that he’s in charge of these monkeys and their get their experiments that they’re doing on their supposed to take care of them in the cage has a charge of these monkey cages music monkeys are super smart and he’s like falling in love with them as like a monkey train to there and then he likes what he’s like the threshold of him finding out he like hangs out long enough to realize I watch what they’re doing they’re putting chimpanzees in the little black model planes and then like they’re basically like 10 using them to test how far you can be away from an atomic bomb after I dropped before it without getting cancer so they’re just a r e d eating a monkey like zapping him with radioactivity and like like Matthew Broderick has to deal with finding out that that’s his job that his friends that he’s making these monkeys are like I know they’re Apes I don’t to get letters
the tales are watching these monkeys and I’m just like goddamn the soundtrack of these monkeys to die
holding back tears and like and they’re like coast is clear let’s go back and watch Eddie Murphy like fucking like run around and and and it was like you guys go on without me and they were like are you serious and I was like yeah whatever I don’t want to get bounced again but I was like I don’t want to watch Beverly Hills Cop 2 I want to watch monkeys get irradiated and cry and I’m glad you’re leaving cuz now I can now I can fucking not hold back because I’m the only one in the theater cuz I really want to watch Eddie Murphy I’m going to fucking like fucking shoot tears out of my eyes like a laser see what that feels like and I did and you know it felt like getting humped by Rob
yeah those little stories are you kind of like I’m different from my friend I think I’m going to yeah I think I’m going to skip the next sleepover maybe maybe I’ll chat maybe I’ll do like one or two this the next month when’s the last time you seen Transylvania 6-5000 I’ve only seen in adulthood like so drunk and high and I have no I know we watched it but I watched it I watched it but a year ago
which was the second time ever watched it first time I watched it was in the theater like many moons ago and then I watch the reason I just I got to get you guys contact the comedy team of Goldblum and Begley Jr
that was a thing like Goldblum Begley Jr run don’t walk to
but if I remember I watched it and I was like I remembered every single joke and I found it to be very funny I found it to be a quality evening of entertainment
and I would like to watch it again I think I’m going to watch it again where the opening is funny cuz it’s like a it opens like cold open it it’s like a found-footage way before that was a thing like no this is what does decades before Blair Witch has sort of like your opening just in like VHS footage which was weird and then like his people going like cool like what are you doing Damien like I’m having a drink some beers or something like that
run in the face but it’s kind of like Hoagie like like it feels fake and then it comes out there in a newspaper office or something and allergic to board and we should wrap up the show do nothing and slowly stop coming it’s it’s it helpful to have some boring boring
I’m sorry what were you saying
what happened to spend so he’s just he’s bored to death they died I’m dead you still alive DD mean like we can talk about what do we do Jeff just now out of town for right like
I mean I’m fine either way okay I just wanted to make sure don’t know it’s cool
if not then let’s go show your dick to me wow wow
so you got like 6 years from now that you’re going down in flames for this Sunday to Ono how’s it going on you’re allowed to talk about you working with the I can’t I can’t say I can’t say who everyone that’s working out of 10 Instagram it yeah yeah they’re not supposed to be and Anna Kendrick is playing her in her autobiography is a dummy and it looks like they may have finally found a Dan Harmon but I’m not allowed to say until until he’s cast
do you know who Nick Offerman path I mean in the in the in the in the biopic of like trying to cast Dan Harmon it’s like Nick Offerman passing that should be like that was our closest shot like I mean that’s the guy that should play in the biopic right I’m flattering myself to be funny I think I think we I think we see you there
Eric warheim I like Luca Luca talked about this is like so it is they want to see a list like Anna Kendrick is the lead so they like the it’s like the intersection between like what why why was it is like my part it’s not a it’s like a it’s like a gender inversion so like my part is about as interesting and it’s in the script as like it’s like I’m the I’m the floor lamp you know in terms of like in out of the documentary come on you got it
I’m just tired.
He turned you on
Sonic courage and it’s alright well tomorrow’s Tuesday you all have shit to do you were saying
what’s wrong with you I don’t I can’t remember it was I was drunk last night we switched what right did we have somebody up here knows I goes to that can right now but anybody who sings like they’re going to respond that’s a Rodger
Valley Community Counseling Clinic
we can you can you can you shout out just to kind of a logline of the of the thing that you don’t have to I don’t know
phone number okay that’s all
does your does your community community center have a phone number
yep I wait like 3 minutes to get really quickly you come up here real quick unplug it
can we also can we also have a Beat
oh we don’t I guess we don’t have a face I guess we do
Valley Community Counseling Clinic okay if there’s any anybody my sister can make that happen if you’re listening in your like I hate mental health in the valley it’s not your money your sister said money isn’t going to that your get used to it somebody’s going to oligarchs one of our oligarchs good bread there is is he
tell us your name my name is Dana Point clinic. Org or call 818-763-8604 for health
Valley
Community Counseling Center yeah yo Valley
Community Counseling Center
Yucca Valley
meet Community Counseling Center do you have mental problems you don’t got to have mental problems with sentience is a mental disorder I brought your mama at the Mexican border fucker thank you
I meant for Jeff Davis typewriter Johnson I love you so much
who else think I said
thanks Rick, brume brumate brand drinkware and give yourself an Applause. Other people tell you what to do it’s late it’s Monday and you can just you not to join
don’t do it don’t do it
applied yourself
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you give yourself an A+
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