Episode: 61 – USS Hubris


Episode: 61 – USS Hubris


Titanic Sinclair and Mars Argo help examine the internet’s war on the self. Comptroller McGathy refs a game of “Spencer or Goldberg” between Mayor Harmon and Kumail.


play alternative favs the mayor of harmontown also my man
making you sorry sorry sorry sorry about everything
well you were here I mean we were we were all go we we all thought everything was fine I am out of practice and being quite so clickable delicious I I I I I I’m fine with it I don’t know if anyone was bothering to feel sorry for me but I’m getting really used to this I have a I have a publicist now whose job is to keep make me less famous
either he’s a really cool guy I don’t know I don’t imagine you’d ever come on the show and answer questions about what it means to be Dan Harmon’s publicist I think I’ve ever really interesting interview reporter photo shoot I can’t because because because it’s technically a joke about a that involves a concept that I can’t read 11
well it’s just I mean I think I think I think I can I think I can beat around that that that word and not be a nappy quotable and there was like obviously as my publicist guy is a little is a little handful sometimes and it came to do a photoshoot of me for this article that you know it’s like dance happy and he’s humble he’s back and he’s happy to be back at work and and and he was like yeah just just just smile a lot don’t get any pictures of you you know frowning or you know doing anything other than just smiling a lot and that’s a big. But there is one facade that’s like if you’re huge fan of community you might know what I’m talking about my skateboard shirt Hall that it’s it’s it’s a cross on the Paramount lot from where the libraries
usually are but the library steps aren’t there and so this is the only thing is that it’s got a little bit got the Greendale Insignia on the door and it’s it says abort your call the top and they told me it just go to the door and then you’re no you’re coming in so so you just cannot just going to open the door a little bit and stick your head through a long story short break creepy photo
Daddy’s home and he’s been drinking and
Publix his face just purple on for a while and season I don’t know it was at 2 or 3 or something like that because I actually felt like like well if the people want to do interviews with me and stuff that can help get ratings for the show I got the form of promotion if I bring him on out of pocket and stuff so originally his job was to was to help me be famous I think that’s generally what a publicist job as they probably save more nuanced than that but and also just get me, con badges or something like I got just a handy guy to have around and then I let him go after a while cuz there’s like no lo que no one’s ever going to watch the show no matter what end and also I got fired and then take take take take some time off and brought him back on his help me God Save Me From Myself anyways
it is a funny thing this new phenomenon called context it’s so weird weird thing like I ate you know you you say x this is my therapy like I have enough voices bouncing around in my head to deal with I don’t want my own in there too so I and when I say the stuff that’s in my head into a microphone and people laugh or even just sit there and don’t stab me it’s done it’s finished it’s dealt with and
and so every once in awhile this from The Crucible 260 episode run of this online diary that I’m keeping called harmontown has like a little little magma drop of harmonist like flies out and lands in the shower just bursts everything in the plaza and you you realize oh God I mean what everybody that that that would hurt or anything like that I guarantee you that when I when I want to speak to you in the form of a headline and variety like I’ll say much much nicer things like II then I do to my bathroom mirror or hear or stuff like that and I’m not there’s no I’m not accusing anything I just I just wanted to make that clear like why why do these things happen you know like like like language is important to me too I’m a writer definitely but I improvised when I’m up here and I said some really horrible thing to anybody anybody wants to really really like hate me go through I don’t know
a little happened to you I’ve never listen to all of it either but it’s gets there I am I am here for you I am on Twitter I have I block my apologies when I do things wrong and I am I do the red at amas I I like being in touch with people I think the big takeaway from this latest debacle for me emotionally was I got to somehow figure out at the age of 40 how to stop caring so much like like like what about people’s opinion of me because it’s I think that the I think that’s the reason I do what I do and I know that the reason I do what I do is to make people like me and I’m very comfortable with the idea that what you’re supposed to like is the thing that I make like like there’s no there’s nothing inappropriate or or or wrong way rub in about an episode of my NBC sitcom like like it is and there’s nothing dishonest about it either it is an actual genuine Valentine to humanity that I have time to prepare and Paula I should put on my little bow tie and show up to you
you’re with flowers and candy like that’s me at my best for you in that context so that you will go I feel happy right now who made me happy so it says created by so and so he must be a good person and a good person and Steve Levitan doesn’t have like a show where he just like but babbles into a microphone with a cup of vodka and then and that’s why he is a better person than me and we’ll die richer and and then have higher ratings and be more successful if not he’s so handsome
have you ever seen a photo of the Google Steve Levitan he’s so good-looking happens if I clear circumstance and I thought you know just to Spencer showing up and saying I want to be a dungeon master like harmontown kind of runs on coincidences of mysticism and shamanic Greg Lake Greg Lake Greg Lake events at I was I was at the at a bar that is not an unusual event that’s just the statistics I was at a at a bar and ran into friends of Dove our producer Dusty samples Dustin Marshall and adorable little kids there a band called Mars Argo and and they they just recently I mean they’re going to they’re great and they I assume I have horrible taste in music but
just recently did this thing where they they they decide they was called dope does a cut don’t call me is that the name of the song okay it’s it’s it’s based on a sample of the iPhone ringtone marimba like we all know like when you hear the sign for the first 8 seconds you’re checking your pockets and leg lives it was like a baby crying on an airplane for for that for that eight seconds because and it’s a song about I can get guy that won’t stop calling and then did it and it fits and after a while he stopped hearing that and just here like everything I saw and it doesn’t matter if it’s a good soccer bad so I’m the interesting thing is that because it uses that iPhone sample all of a sudden much as sometimes a harmontown droplet good lands and they had lines of variety and all of a sudden I’m being compared to Charlie Sheen by Society
the guys because of because of the iPhone hook you know it it’s now it’s you do it all the time it’s just a thing it’s got to I guess I’ll be an old fogey and say it went by your old is a it was like in the diseases of the technology section of this thing in the Apple lovers section of this thing in the what’s what’s going on section of this and that and it kind of losses by reality happened and as a result they they suddenly found themselves as very emotional wonderful passionate musicians in something has become increasingly familiar to us being under this the microscope has this giant blob called people who don’t normally give a fuk about you and let’s continue the conversation with them on stage please please welcome Titanic Sinclair and Mars Argo of Mars Argo
that’s good that’s good these days
so you get so so so describe the reason I called you to ask you guys if you would come here is because I ran into Titanic it’s a stage name of the death threats to an end and Mars was not there and you were looking kind of you were you were chill I won’t say telling you right now you you were you were your your emo had a had a had an extra genuine emo to it or something there and and under immediately going to start conversation turned out that Mars was at home unable to really go out because of the
this is the response in the comment section under these under these videos that are being posted right that’s the kind of threw me over a little bit like a link to your your emotional dancing that you’re going to die of
did you want to do want to do what do you have in your head an example of like the comment that really got you like like that that made you unable to leave your home
ugly singer died in a fire more than anyone else in our view we have a YouTube channel called grocery bag that TV if anyone’s interested and it’s like we like poke fun at social commentary and stuff and so people like consistently you know what else to die in a fire so I’m used to that but this kind of spiraled out of control like I knew like we’re like getting ourselves into trouble by using the iPhone song to begin with but I had no idea I was going to be like so intense like you were used to a certain context like I am here like you knew that something you did as most artists are required to do was was going to be hit or miss or at and have some polarizing effect but you were I think they like
not to put words in your mouth but would likely effect of of all of a sudden this whole new audience called just people who don’t they’re just they’re just reacting to something random they just see a headline has nothing to do with that was that was the big trouble that I got into cuz I came out here and I I reacted to the the boo hoo for me such a sensation of watching a season of the show that I haven’t watched the entire time it was without me and I just kind of came out here was like this without thinking about it any kind of context or who was listening except for these a hundred and fifty people would anyone that listens to a podcast about me and therefore like why why would someone that you hated me and didn’t care what I had to say is blah blah blah and just spoke but then immediately and it’s like why wouldn’t I eat like this headline just goes like this is Dan Harmon says this in the in the has a headline it’s like no I thought that was not a headline that wasn’t it
West Conference and now all the horrible thing as you have people who who even if they are horrible people they’re not even like really to blame for the fact that I’d like like like if you surfing through the internet and it had nothing says under Sports and whether it says band makes song out of a ringtone
Play click on it and then it and then they watch a thing and it’s like like I don’t know what makes them go as far I’ve never done that before I have never left a comment that I thought would make someone want to kill themself I have to assume given my study as a student of human character I I have to assume that the reason people do that is because they don’t believe it’s possible they don’t know it’s like shooting a slingshot at the Moon you know they’re just going like hey why don’t you kill yourself you stupid ugly person with a horrible voice has a terrible song your band sucks so I’ll be there just thinking like well he’ll never listen to Old Toby Simmons
baby what’s up But the irony is that you guys are Toby Simmons you just like I ever ever we are now all in contact with each other and they were rolling out of the plane on fire and Blink-182 by Blink-182 like yeah well it’s okay for them to burn to death
I forgot I forgot you’re not going to publish transcripts in Ohio
please put some brackets in there that I was being ironic and put brackets behind everything it says I’m a human fucking being it don’t don’t don’t publish transcripts of podcasts is all three it’s all online I like like anyways he said winking Lee
it’s okay for Blink-182 to be on fire right because they don’t deserve anything that they have a blah blah blah blah blah die in fires a lot like it happens like that
more more fans than lion Tamers
lion Tamers get to sometimes bit bit by lions I go to that would be rude to like sleeve under Siegfried and Roy is like YouTube channel I got bit by a lion
talk about like being at home like like like that night while I was at the drawing-room like like like what what it what it what do you what do you what do you physically do like cuz I know well actually I don’t know did you did you sit there and scroll through all the comments you give Scrolls let’s get it started and usually like a lot of our stuff gets posted on right at the end I use read it like crazy so it’s usually pretty friendly but I could tell right off the bat from like the first couple of comments like it wasn’t going to be good and then I don’t know like we had a couple and I was like you know the general consensus was this is annoying her voice is annoying and like you get to a point where it’s like every single comment and then if you start going up and then he was like I was going to stop reading music
have you gotten to the point where you wish that the song didn’t exist do you wish that you had not created something and like so I knew it like one just like when we were actually shooting the thing like you know we’re doing this on a shoestring and like two Engineers that agreed to do it didn’t show up on the day of the shoe and then we had issues with the camera setup and everything so like I knew like before I really said that it wasn’t like my favorite thing or like it wasn’t the best vocal take or maybe it wasn’t the best mix or whatever but at the same time I’m like whatever you know like she has to be out there you know it like an Acura a print of you who you are and get it out there so I did I was like uncomfortable
is like right there you go and then it was just like you know a bunch of like old men like talking shit to me basically I don’t think of people who have ever got an email that no subject and the body of the email just kill yourself
several of these as a couple like to do or anyway but like whatever I don’t know this is my horrible clumsy Footprints to get snowed over and I can safely go maybe take a peek into tumbler without seeing a photo of me looking like I just sexually assaulted a woman
the hand-picked from god-knows-where someone who’s going to come ironically my biggest fan in order to find that picture I the weird thing is because I don’t know what’s healthy and unhealthy you love being on Reddit you go through it and you’re not you’re not just read it at you looking for your own name and looking at your own subreddit and things but now you’re on Reddit and like now you think it’s a big part of your life is like I would assume or are you ghoulishly self-loathing Lee like scouring that stuff I mean there’s like a certain amount of like ego that like when tens of thousands of people are like looking at something that you made those it feels good even if it’s like he was shity but I know it just makes it kind of question Humanity like who takes the time to like even though it’s like it’s so easy to click on the YouTube, and leave something shity
I like who I actually put that energy into it although I guess thinking about an hour like I was telling you like I was like translating Russian I know it’s going to be bad but I’m still there Google
it was like something along the lines of you fucking suck bad band kills
well that’s another weird thing when you are scrolling through things I know it’s the weirdest thing like like people I will skim through people being supportive and kind people saying a nice thing and circumstances handle is I can’t I can’t really go near and I maybe that’s the healthiest thing that they have it then it picked up coz but but in olden times when I was just a regular nobody that that like kind of like him could wood glue is excited about maybe someone talking about me once in awhile like anything that I was involved with the scroll through and was like you know this is great I’m part of the problem to a guy I have to be honest about that right like I even though that’s a that’s a thing that’s only happening in in my secret part of my brain I’m not taking any action about that but
when when people tweet me and try to be obnoxious and say something mean to me to get my attention and then I say like your poop face or wrong and you’re an idiot and then I made of rubber in your mom’s at. Yeah you did you still eat poop I mean I would say take take you to rise out of me and the poop that you eat and see what it adds up to I don’t know and I don’t like look man I knew that if I kiss your ass it wouldn’t be like some people say that or there’s other people that go like look you should have another sycophantic I really want those people to die in a fire
I don’t really for the transcript I’m pissed
trying to put the laughs in the transcript
that’s why I sent it to the live show with an audience but the last in that’s important
reading Eminem lyrics on CNN
exercise is going to sound bad man I am I am I am not an appealing Man by train of thought that you guys don’t want me to regain my train of thought cuz I was on some stupid tangent was taking forever yes yes if I over it when I was doing stand-up before I quit I got right there was one person staying in the back of the room going like this like I can’t keep my eyes off of them when you guys do live gigs do you do pay attention to how people are reacting to you in the back of the room and I like it was just like walk out on us but we’re like everyone has beers and wearing flannel shirts and we’re like living in leopard print and sparkles and they make sense but
that was kind of weird thing is this video is kind of like showcasing my new band and like the cool thing is that people had such a bad reaction to it it didn’t it just never previously in like Humanity has like a person or a poor little girl like had to deal with Duncan Trussell calls them moments of novelty like he’s kind and like when they’re just like constantly coming at you and it’s like you can I don’t care who you are you cannot stop yourself when your phone is buzzing like crazy you cannot stop yourself from reading it you just can’t answer have been able to know I just don’t I just don’t go to
that’s because I have done this five times now at least like I I’ve always made 40 years and counting out just like like like
God telling me to say stuff everyone telling me to shut up me saying but God said it and absolutely regretting
saying that I just I’m just trying to trying to trying to say how I feel because if I don’t say anything like I’m no good to anybody and whether it whether whether whether it’s typing things or saying things I like but like I’ve been but yeah anyways because I mean strangers to me and I just thought the story was so interesting because it kind of like a similar thing was happening to me that’s like around the theme of this phenomenon which is I don’t there’s no of heroes or villains in the story it’s just it’s it’s like the weather changing it’s like global warming this is a thing that’s happening now we are all connected to each other and thank God there’s no FCC like channeling the whole thing through one little tiny thing because then we all just be watching seventy-five-year-old David Hasselhoff read Bedtime Stories on the internet
so once in awhile but he be trained to handle it or whatever but but but like to thank God the gates are open in and then we’re all were all rushing together this big strong but just is it like when you go to a you go to a crowded Like Music Hall in see a band that’s that have a high-tempo there’s always some dick in the audience that starts elbowing and you know like the anonymity and the frustration of not having control over your own life makes tiny parts of tiny individuals do these things that would add it all up create this dandruff that can choke you make you feel ugly about everything but but first of all there’s not a single individual I truly don’t believe that is a single hole individual out there that actually is that ugly I think that that I think we just use the internet is a weird eyes wide shut toilet late because because we can’t because you are
play high school kid it gets better I got to tell it to Rebecca Black like like like that better you’re going to have 45 year old men telling you you’re a shity singer it gets better hopefully it does get better but but but but but I wanted to say to you guys as I clicked on your thing I watched the video on a cool song sounds like my phone’s ringing for a second awesome idea like like and then reading the comments as like they were all so pointless to me because I’m absolutely outside the situation there’s nothing personal about it for me like I I scoured cuz I wanted to talk to you guys in a little bit what’s the worst one of them I can see I can see that if someone the saying like like like a stupid idea bad music
voice and face your hat around yourself in your face and it’ll look better because your face is worse than a cut face like you it’s like they can laugh because they know it’s a joke and I know it’s a joke to the hood like like like like like the concept that you’re seeing it from some Anonymous stranger and the only difference is you’re projecting onto it like like oh shit like like what if they really mean that and it’s like they don’t they just they’re just they’re just another sad part of their life like I just did some weird moment of weakness and and and they don’t not none of it’s true none of it means anything if they’re literally trying to make you feel exactly how you feel almost an uplifting think about that each other
just that we’re just we’re just doing it we’re using gloryhole to put a spear through them
is it risky to misuse of the technology like it’s clear what you should be doing
and how we could all benefit
has multiple levels of how effective it is because like I mean once you like red like literally thousands and thousands of people like telling you to kill yourself like you you now every time you read when it’s like okay whatever but then sometimes you like click the user and see you actually see the person and I like YouTube shows like a photo a lot of times and that’s the part that kind of upsets me cuz then I see the person I’m like
well like that is a human being and they in their free time are shiting on something that I’m doing for fun with my friends are leaving and you had the mental state that there are a couple of them out there do it at least it’s not just me but I don’t know any type of creative profession like as you know like the last thing you need is someone saying stop cuz everyone along the way and I’ll I said fucking stop and everything in your head. Cuz you act like another reason to be more critical of yourself and use the emotional experience of being told to stop but people that don’t really mean stop to create more songs about how it feels to be told to stop or something
because of enough of a start doing that if enough of us make Humanity boring enough to other people act like what week maybe with the parts of us that hate ourselves I think that I think that a lot of us have to have to get up in the morning and go to bed at night and never having told the truth and I think that that it’s a lot of times it’s not their fault either and I think that you guys and me like we are in the unique position to be able to you know we can tell the truth about how we feel and just a weird shit and let the chips fall where they may we kind of have to keep doing it otherwise like if we stopped then then then 9/11 happened again
and you can quote me on that
cam you can check out our YouTube channel I think it’s pretty cool called grocery bag that TV all right awesome Mars Argo thank you for coming by.
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually come elements is that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the theme to like to my own life so it’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker it myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
this episode of harmontown is brought to you by Fulton and Roark Jeff you’re sick of us feeling all your colognes all over the place you hate liquid clones that correct it’s my Nemesis if it’s the thing that gives me Nightmare dreams all night long I can’t remember how many times I’ve walked in on you just just covered in sticky wet cologne I have traveled and broken a bottle of the cologne that I wear and then my luggage smells like a French whorehouse for the rest of time yeah but Fulton and Roark is a men’s fragrance and grooming company that specializes in solid cologne shave and shower products all designed to make getting ready easier and more enjoyable when you say solid cologne do you mean like solid in the Jazz sense like wow that would bet Jazz solo was solid you know I do mean that but I also mean physically solid as well alone the travels in a little small package that I can’t spill all over my luggage and smell like a Mexican house so I can go anywhere
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fucking bums. You are smelling good
Fulton and Roark time to get your stink on off get your bad stink up and get your good thing on Fulton and Roark not by men different Corporation by Fulton and Roark
a good song I like I like I like the refrain I like her voice I know you were not born yet but in the nineties I was a
had you have discovered I was a big fan of the female kind of very emotional passionate Tanya donelly ins and
I am minding passion coming out I’m not minding boobs
that was a big fan of throwing Muses and Tori Amos and I just pumping my breast
I like I like I like pain I like yes
schedule nice to have my number vocally in a in a sign that I find something and come down and see you in a bubble bath
you are you are very you are very sensitive
but having a it’s like having a sister
Ginger like I’m kind of a handyman well I took off at one time while you do that at the bar and told me I couldn’t because it was as you said a two-man job so I guess I’m sometimes pretty manly manly as two men by your definition I did a two-man job there are ways I was really impressed by that also really impressed by the top of the stairs I followed them to release about how the company that made the doggie gate was a bunch of blood sucking Rich assholes
but then one of them emailed me and said his feelings were hurt so I installed the doggie gate
to do what I’m supposed to do and end Humanity benefits
assistant to set up Nick
but all they do is make this perfect for me
when I run
rabbit is the GrubHub of indentured servitude
some guys come over and help me put together furniture and stuff in each and every one of them has has made a show out of directions no good but those guys are above them I’m below them I’m like these directions be good and he was working on it for like a half hour he’s like I don’t know how he did it but I cannot get it off so it will he’s the one
I just said something about it like I said I just left I just like the way it feels it has more heart
I got Dan do you know what time it is it’s
hello from beautiful Pakistan where to mail call I’ve heard you’ve got Kumail but it’s pretty good. You had me at to mail that doesn’t make any sense
no no go ahead make my Kemal I haven’t heard that we’re going to need that I have her in a weird situation
have a chameleons and Kumail
I want to take me to the game for us, can I say something bad and you’re talkin about Steve Levitan be handsome and he’s a very handsome man you look fucking great these days he’s a top 25 team finally learned after 40 years that I need to never just wear a t-shirt cuz my posture is so bad like the like I have this weird I like I’m like a circus bear like I like like like especially beaudin profile and I really need to go on
you look great you’re Peter Jackson in right now
I mean
he wasn’t wearing shoes on and the and the Workaholics guys very funny guys there lyrics I was talking to them for a while and then people are gathered around us and they walked away after a while you know it’s like conversations kind of Evan flow and they left the conversation Circle and I was stuck with like like some other people and and and this one guy just like really enamored with me and kept asking specific questions about about when I shoot like stuff like like what I’m thinking and I was like really flattered by it and like a while yet I just tried it at the end of the day it’s just stuff you know
I hate look at me pointing at the at the giggling work workaholic guys on the other side of the party
show me you were Peter Jackson
I mean I’m not usually a fan of practical joke you are a good man I will forever remember that
the furniture think I have I’m like not handy at all also but I have this thing like it if I get started on something and do it hurt anyone who didn’t know I was going to whatever that what side something rabbits what are they called the people that come and fix it so I got this we got this awesome desk and put it together and I was like I’m going to fucking finish this today and I got so like worked up trying to finish this this is completely true Emily walked in two hours late and I was completely naked
sweating from everywhere just like punching a board

cuz I got so I’m like I’m physically bigger than it should be able to have power over it
I thought I did that I I was there I did that to you I was trying to move a chair through a door and that’s why I got this big do we know practically naked
yeah you’re like to YouTube
Megan future two-man job can I tell you this is eating away at me okay and he’s eager to get off it was a two-man job the door that you said
I figured out a different door I can take off that was not a not so much a two-man job
but the principle of the thing is
you know what I guess storms are coming tween is a one-man job
I was literally about to say he moved a very heavy door and put it back on its hinges perfectly which is amazing and it that important guy with the eye-patch of creepy and is like fish tank for a heads and stuff you want to stick with the old man that lost his leg I have something to say about the handyman
that’s why we’re getting free labor at this whole thing everyone’s winning everyone’s winning I was going to say it’s over the line and I’ve talked about how like I always get like racist stuff on Twitter and the thing that a lot of people say I think I hear people say that go back to India and I always say I’ve never been there I’m not Indian or are you just wishing like an awesome vacation for me
I want to read this one. I got yesterday cuz I was putting about quality and I’m sorry why do they want you to come back to India at your job that you’re are you welding cars if I say anything political Bill be like go back to Indiana.
well just when I picture they were like all right that’s what it ain’t even got looks like that is what it is I’m very easily googleable there’s not many other Camille nanjiani who are from India to like confuse them just I’m just saying if you’re being racist fucking be accurate but I got this one cuz I was 21 Paula Deen yesterday cuz I think she’s a bad person I want to read this because it’s such it’s the most deadly racist thing that I’ve ever read it so few letters this is what he says about her being racist and he says unfortunate but every race has rampant racism for meeting their cultures now this sentence is my favorite that’s what he says Indians are very racist to others
I’ll tell you why I love this one he calls me Indian when I’m Pakistani so already the first word is already racist also it’s the purest form of racism is a is commuting a characteristic do a race because of because there are certain rights of him saying Indians are very racist to others he’s being purely racist while using the word racist or racism racism
it’s all good
I do think a lot of a lot of problems could be solved if maybe if if if we did decide whether it’s true or not but let’s just break the cycle and just say okay what white people are more racist genetically
I just stopped the conversation. The problem is that as an excuse to just like stop the cycle like the weird spiraling argument is like a 14 year old white girl late like like in line at the mall that has some weird culture-clash moment you know she’s she’s 14 she’s at she said she doesn’t have the geopolitical fucking backbone to like the experience to deal with all this stuff she’s going to say something equally like weird and stuff but she’s white so she’s going to say something horribly racist in defense of her ego which are 14 year olds have we found the racist white people have it I need to be like that
I see we’re doing it again
you know what we’re doing right now we’re doing almost the opposite with the the diversity movement and please don’t misinterpret this like I I think like for instance NBC’s Diversity Program instead many minutes I never signed up for it I don’t know how this happened it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s okay like I I think the pro action in a in a climate where obviously there is a long-standing momentum of things not getting done I think I don’t think that’s scientifically this things better than the other but I think doing anything at all is better than doing nothing until I want to be very clear about that I’m not one of these people that’s like is Reverse Racism a dumb dumb dumb but you’re not saying you’re saying that saying that is dumb yes thank you for being there thank you can you just walk around with me
what is a in a backpack but then people would go yeah Dan Harmon sells a Pakistani guy to be in his backpack
here’s here’s the transcript
I wish for a thousand Pakistani action ellipses dum dum dum libertarian kind of white guys that’s why I don’t think that Spock like logic in the face of a huge Legacy and momentum of disproportionality in certain job spaces is the solution I don’t think that some of the solutions are not going to be logical they’re going to be like everybody stand on this side of the boat like to have to try to counteract some of the stuff I wanted to have a good one to make the koi cutesy observation that I think the driving force behind the concept of diversity Like A diversity movement if you could call it that like like like like
is it me or is there like is is is there a way to interpret all of this if it was settled implication is that only white people have the power to end racism I mean it’s sort of thing that’s implied is because white people cuz racism is all about and all bigotry it’s about sort of power differentials right and so if I that’s why you don’t like a black person being racist against a white person is not as harmful really as a white person being racist against black people have power so because white people in America have the power that’s why it’s usually sort of not the job of white people but they’re the ones who I thinking affect the most change yeah a little in the absence of just said yeah I made it cartoon it I’m probably not being serious but honestly if if some scientists could pretend the Brontosaurus has existed
I found the racism Gene I found a jean in the caucus void bloodstream to you have to force your your your poor poor racist white blood to to be a little less racist as it’s a struggle that you have yet I’m beating a dead horse but I think I like that idea we should get one guy have proof and then is laugh and he dies and he’s a sacrifice for ending racism yeah yeah yeah just be a great leg a Pelican Brief kind of
Aaron has a gene for game playing
Spencer to the stage play
kaelon Presley Papa Angelo’s Spencer’s favorite time is bedtime. All right so we’re going to play we’re going to play a little game is going to be Dan against Kemal and it’s not necessary to this game but can I have Adam Goldberg come to the stage
do Adam thank you thank you Adam I always want to not say something nice on this last week was as Spencer is first week as your assistant
it’s amazing you drag I’ve heard from both sides but it’s going really well Spencer is having a great time and and since he’s doing great and it scares at me like a falcon
and Ann and I are at one point I needed to sit down two times this has happened to him standing there is no chair and I kind of became conscious of my need for my fat butt to be supported by something and this Viking man found it up with a heavy chair and flopped it down and the writers are really impressed they applauded
sounds like Spencer do very well and is anticipating do you know Spencer
where is my words mail for those of you who don’t know if you’re just listening to this podcast for the first time or if you’re here from variety of The Hollywood Reporter Goldberg is a controversial harmontown audience member is weird because it’s not the rods fault that it’s happening
the rod is not bring it upon itself
where do I play a little game called Spencer or Adam
I was just say there was a guy we’re heading up cupcakes there was a guy that was so obviously a entertainment blogger that I’ve never been here before it they lose this guy that just had this look I’m really curious if he was or if he’s just a just look so out of place I was so late like like camping out here like like well you know
all right this is why I asked to Spencer and Adam the same series of questions and what I’m going to do with him going to present a question and the answer and you’re going to stay or if it’s should be the easiest game of all time but I bet it’s not going to be
loopy so let’s go ahead and begin the game will be done when it feels right for it to be over. I’m in Spencer try to contain yourself
like to be active as a as a visual so people can see it
I’ll be back I’ll be back thank you for
let’s go ahead and it’s not it’s not time to go spring talk it out and then give me your final over. OK Google what is your biggest fear who said being trapped underground for reals
biggest fear who said being trapped underground for real I know I whip my guess would be Spencer because it sounds like something I would say also because I truly believe Adam is without fear
it’s not a compliment
sociopaths have no fear
lightning strikes again I mean I agree absolutely that colloquial apostrophe instead of a G-Shock in the idea that he typed it is very Charming
being trapped underground for reals the compliment the correct answer was actually Adam
I know how do you you write a how-to guide on how to present as human and then
forever but that Mom will get them all right question I do feel like sometimes the next question when asked to describe an embarrassing moment from his childhood who said I called the lady fat she was fat
when asked to describe an embarrassing memory from his childhood who said that she was fat my guess would be Spencer clearly does not get embarrassed now as he was fat
now I know he’s
I’m batting a hundred so far
when asked
when asked if you can eat three things for the rest of your life what are they who said potatoes rice
Adam Goldberg
okay I’m going to go to school at 4 and have Friday
the three things worth potatoes rice pizza for the rest of his life will only eat potatoes rice
Pizza I mean
I’m going to go Spencer again because I know Adams respond to that question would be more complicated would go would say well I have a rare form of anemia that requires that I have insulin and he would dinner or something it would be so cute
I don’t I didn’t mean to but I did not see that is complicated and even if it wasn’t like that you were being a simple style to just left tell you. You know I love rice pizza and who doesn’t I feel like fart of Spencer’s appeal is that he can sort of I really feel like there’s something about you that is above us and also your ability to sort of connect a normal humans at this is all a compliment by the way you once said that you can have a religion Spencer Soh
I will go with Spencer to that is correct it was Spencer what would your answer have been Adam Cuisine with the same three exactly yeah I find the podcast but my answering the question together to make money
remind enjoy that last privately
Adam Adam Adam has all those overlap with Spencer and they’re both items say they’re both above jokes like they’re they rhythmically they never they land on the downbeat try to watch Edward Scissorhands shake hands you know
he doesn’t have the tools but if your buddy would you listen to anything that he says I can feel is very fine in that interview that he did with the the podcast cast and stuff like that like I like Adams like you know is I’m out of sync with this plane of existence can I ask what was why were you counting what was going on trying to get to the rhythm of natural healing which is unfair it was very appealing for some reason I don’t know why I like that
how about we got to go to Adams raining like lately Salida out those like 2001
I think you’re doing about them both gentlemen you were just given a yacht what do you need this is good Aaron you did good
add the more they needed the more I don’t want to give it to him so I really you know you know I really feel you know could have this game
it’s becoming clear that this game just has a loser and it’s not anyone who’s playing at Burger King
I love you Karl Rove
when I
named his yacht
Karl Rove
I think that Spencer knows who Karl Rove is but I don’t think he cares I think I think Adam maybe would would be the one to try to make some point with me.
ditto I feel like we’re thinking exactly the same one all of them can you tell us the other answer was the USS hubris the u s s
i mean that’s that’s what I’d name Mine by the way so whoever said that should really be proud of himself
I’m guessing your hubris and he’s rough correct
Chloe we are we both thought but the Carl’s got to be out of the same title
what is u s s hubris
yeah that’s what I mean it seems like yeah you should come out to Karl Rove
can you look on the 3rd doc or whatever I don’t know I don’t have Karl Road
I’m going to take a shower and do to me
becoming the gray man
all right next
I asked both gentlemen if you could date any celebrity who would it be and why who said Jake Gyllenhaal it would prove a theory of mine
Jake Gyllenhaal ever prove a series of mine
I mean I know that’s got to be Adam and again it’s it’s really funny very funny but it’s funny I know if I was reading no I know I’m saying it’s great but it’s funny in French I mean
Adam what is your theory Jake Gyllenhaal is gay
I like that in your head just him being gay is enough for him to want to have sex with you
question is if you rewrite the check so yeah that I think the funny thing is that he would waste that power one thing about a promotional romantic and emotional anime floor in those words have sex with a human
Katya actually happened in real life would be the greatest day of my life of your life and sex life
the best pilot in the world is Adam Goldberg like doing like a reboot of a Greatest American Hero it where Adam Goldberg gets the super suit superhero but he doesn’t now he’s asleep has his powers and it just like watching how he would use them
I’ll save it would kind of be rescued you but then also
you’re feeling the Spencer if you could be any animal in the world for 24 hours
which animal would you be and why who said some sort of a cool bird or jungle cat
who said some sort of a cool bird or jungle cat responds to have sex with what was his response I want to know to bypass he passed because I just looked at his email and just a bunch of answers also sent me an email saying if this is some sort of secret dating thing I’m not into it
I got my eye on you cover
like I was going to. I would say I would say Spencer because you have falcony qualities about you and also jungle candy qualities about you and also while we were all doing like the Spencer voice be in the Spencer voice that jungle cat so he knows it’s been sir and I think why I unfortunately I agree to as I have every time with Camille
I thought it would be a human being
how many hit dice does it have I know how many hit dice it has
and I know how much damage my Katana does
any ladies in the audience a guitar line
yep resounding yuck
back to Minneapolis have none of this

so you could parlay your notoriety and do so much specifically you and no one else we might think that know you have no idea you have like oh my God so many of himself he’d have to cross that all-important line to being a guy that what kind of creeped does this in the entrance many so you enjoy watching me do that thing well anyway to get some pussy out of this thank you for a gentleman to cross also here’s the thing is that it’s not just she’s getting something out of it. She’s going to have sex with Spencer it goes both ways but I mean
only on display is a personality that very resin it which is someone who doesn’t normally get going it doesn’t do that fucking Tango in a one-on-one interaction Spencer is secretly dating someone like Paula Abdul
I’d like to live in how Kumail perceives me like lasers and yeah
cheap kittens and they’d still be enjoyable I’ve seen footage of you interacting with women aftershows on to her across their boyfriends design stuff and and be just as nervous as you are and like kind of lingering and hanging out and end the fratty part of my brain will wants to go there but it’s like
then you wouldn’t be Spencer and and she also is like you’re not you’re not yeah I don’t know it’s like I have a love-hate relationship with this idea of like you know you can smash the puss I for one am totally over but over it why don’t you try and
I hope Adam can I get fit a birthday into my schedule
that was great I really needs a girlfriend and have sex well I think that’s right there I think that would not be a connoisseur happy
only a few questions if not one or two if there were a holiday in your honor what would it celebrate who said
my first born I mean I’ll just go Adam cuz cuz I think he you see yourself is very brave I think not that you’re not Xavier doesn’t have fear you said he doesn’t have fear you are without fear yeah I look at look up here
can I can I claim my answer I thought it I had some point I was like I should answer things that people might think Adam would say
when I wrote my birth I was trying to write an empty Spencer might say I was yeah I was going to write I was going to write my myself and then I changed the courage
Heather and very accurate when asked what punctuation mark best describes your personality who said an ellipses and who said an interrobang
Asian Mark best describes your personality and other people do like how old is this happening
it’s alternating? And! Like you do online writing it’s not like a proper lb like do you listen to wait wait don’t tell me an answer on that
you can check out wait wait don’t tell me on Tuesday nights at 9 the other guy I don’t know yeah let me know chairs
just just I’ll go I’ll say that Spencer did the interrobang
Spencer Spencer Bennett lips a lot. Like timing is King for Spencer very very restrained Adam as we know is it’s just everyone’s reaction to him is an interrobang
she’s up on stage again
he’s he’s he’s like Marmaduke can I say something movie This is the Noggin app and the podcast or even the people here but the fact that your toenails exactly match that guy’s shoe color is I cannot I’m like staring at your toes do they do each other you guys know each other because it’s not a standard color turquoise
that’s right I describe stuff for a living I mean I don’t make a living off of this clip says yeah that’s the accurate. Also the same thing each other
Spencer with ellipses in the atomizer be so let’s let’s well I’m going to I’m going to double this question you’ll see what I mean and a second and then you’ll have a better suggestion for how to word what I just said the thing where you have to rewind to hear the joke from his remember that question go ahead I’m just attracted by this
all right what you eat are going to get to private personal question
what are they going to be one of the questions and then your answers would be questions
I’m sorry I take it we’re going to do we’re going to do a lightning round of four questions and you will just individually say Spencer or Adam name in the meat and a ham
who who said Family Ties Are a Michael j.fox I will say that’s Adam that is correct
Dan when asked if you were a spy what was your Alias P who said Jimmy Buffett
who said Jimmy Buffett’s I knew cuz he was slapping his knee and how hilarious.
that sounds like a plan to me I always will
lumpy who said come on lumpy lumpy God
Play I’m Not the asshole
a planet that Nettie reference
bright I think I’ve ever
1 genius kid
yeah I’m sure that got designs from for Apple Valley on the cancer thing we’ll figure it out and said he’s just coming up with amazing hurtful nickname
I tried to spend it 2 hours ago that means fill up so that’s good
and they be like means you are a pale of God
I think it means you turned everyone on
I tried to I tried to spend it that way
final question when asked how do you feel about Dan
who said
Dan Harmon is a genius and I will die defending his vision unless Mitch hurwitz calls
who said that Herman is a genius and I will die defending his vision unless more Mitch her with her with calls
person said really
thank you for participating in this game
I added may need to stay cuz we have to play from the dragon said we need we need a lower-end congratulations that was wonderful you started this with five consecutive insults that were really funny and seven that were her I thought even the hurtful ones were fun days
okay 12 consecutive funny insults and everything are you know you’re not ready well I mean I got fun cuz it’s fun I don’t mean to be hurtful but it’s been a couple weeks and I always bring I just want people to like me and they fight just fucking hurts like like like like I fucked up again I did it again everyone hates me and then I think of Adam Goldberg by going to go and how does he do it he comes at 8 there’s no point where Adam has ever gone like
now it’s like a rose it’s from a place of
you know I’m driving to finish it it’s from place of institutionalized racism and farming Reddit backwash harmontown who just like me I like to take this opportunity to tell you have a great life out here I’m loving it I’m loving life
all right
when we last met Our Heroes had just finished mastering the basics of their seasonal armlets and after discussing their new abilities the father from The Demon occupied yellow cam Chris de Burgh became invisible and then attacked one of the Demonic taskmasters and mo’reen put a sack on top of a bedroll and then nothing else happened
I stack dice for a little while and didn’t really pay attention to the topics
that’s all alright
don’t even make people clap for Spencer Spencer but access
yeah but where did the Hat come from
put your hands together and I made the executive decision that I’m random decision to have because you’re controlling you’re playing cork you’re playing Jeff Davis the actor Aaron and Adam is playing mulrain
I don’t know I just made sense to me but yeah so last week who mail my dad was playing your character and to use your ability to turn invisible and stab the crap out of a demon
yeah yeah yeah yeah that is amazing in my head of melons and it fell off and then you came out of it that’s what I tell people yeah yeah I would like totally form up naked and then went into the nearest like LL Bean and grab a flannel jacket
hey I have a dad I need your boots your jacket in your iPad
yep and I don’t want to do stuff do you need more explanation that kicked off the fighting and then people kind of it you talked about stuff right there and then you and Jeff came to an understanding
I don’t know I was stacking dice emails turn last at everything is coming up I apologize for his defensive spells he didn’t mean them
scorching Ray on the nearest anime alright I’m happy this week I’m having a great time I’m having a great time
forgive us for not knowing when that’s the case yeah I know it’s really hard to read
I’m up the game anyway so I mean that happened oh yeah yeah yeah
dealing 17 damage to the demon
I thought you’re doing the demon twist surroundings surveying Chris de Burgh who just stabbed him in the back he flips about and smacks you with a his whip but not the end of it just kind of the handle of his way it kind of like a pistol whip like a whip whip whip like a whip whip and he hits dealing 3 damn it all right it happens that sounds about right. He’s putting in a bowl right now I’m at work nobody’s ever said that to Adam before you just really really that room with three as expired you now just kick in the corpses hey how about that lady in red yet no I haven’t got 14 more I got to get gas.
please copy me back at work
this is this is hard for me to say but I’d like to have a moment I’m being City to his character
Amore Brittany this letter on the skin that explains how I’ve been in awe of you or entire adventure and it also explains this is this is this deep connection that I believe we have and I I want us to form an alliance
if that’s possible
more and if you’ll have me consider this more and remembers coming back to the woods several planes ago and finding you with hip deep inside her most beloved friends Coco and then says I’m only good at one thing Brenda Adventure
are you doing what I was doing right why did I give you this one is going to end and then I I see that cork has a power bracelet that I had ghost sound can I throw the ghost sound on the other side of the week do the go sound and then take my knives and throw them at the bad guy
play making the girls down in my heart your heart is that like a dog barking or like a rustling or twig snapping we’re actually throwing knives here but with the ghost town in your heart you lose for that Dagger from your pack critically so
deals 3 + 7 damage all right I’m going to get on the other side of a Chris de Burgh and just starts laughing at it with my sword and get some shopping right now though I got your back buddy what’s your secret is X 3 pretty good but not enough to hit and fortunately all right
if you talk and gives away your position while he is sacrificing himself very courageously
I take out out what’s my strongest weapon that I have poisoned dagger
I’m like puncturing lungs and shit
going to town puncturing Ludington you plunge your blade deep into the Demonic heart of the demon that’s what they have… Dealing tonight alright falls to the ground before dissolving into a black powder the weather past the assessors
continue cork could have been you know you’re standing amongst like a bunch of change slaves at this point they look at you now that you so it would do we kill all the enemies you killed this enemy in this area right now he’s still around but they’re going to take a bit to get to you so and then they start cheering and they’re like I cast slave free chat line for score and I was also going to going to go with an Abraham thing yeah I mean that’s the first thing you think of Idaho sell blanket when your kid kid kid like 5th grade and I would say Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves play a picture of Abraham Lincoln the looks like that cuz you see him in the outfit like you notice I really would picture him like I thought I was a good my mom would like he freed the slaves and I like
happy black white is that the president
I need to go get out of here I really do I was like when I was like what is a slave very enlightened Society Pakistan doesn’t have a history of slavery is not a big deal as long as it’s not a big deal at all I mean presently
give a Google alert for package where is the saddest saddest thing everyday it’s true
I hope so okay where your father is capitalized on there but I could give one of them my sword if he looks healthy enough to fight to fight for us and we’re going to play we want we want a real cool if you did get the setting to work Unlocking The Vines on these slave guys but you as you free like about three or four you here like a slithering from behind like you might you might you know be approached by more people pretty pretty soon you guys be the other slaves were going to do with it
Freedom you can write that will pay you to free the other Slayer
to go headstrong towards the noise okay we’re laying around you see a large pit and kind of the center of camp it seems kind of freshly dug and there’s like a bubbling slimy sound is like several of these slimy humanoid creatures pour out of the hole and slithers towards you slowly like the bad guys Lego
bad guys
not good
they form a wall of losing flesh came out of me no one no one wants to go there
turn to flies or like it was going to swat you are still coming towards you gather like they don’t you know they’re like I see both of my torches and I like them and I start walking back and forth but facing them just to keep them away drawing on your religious knowledge you realize that demons are typically resistant to fire
because I don’t want to send a text
haha all right I want to use my Amulet of spring to summon my thorny Vine armor which it says I can command to stop protecting me and lash out to entangle fo so I’m going to do that immediately alright summoning forth
Vines burst forth from the ground and wrap themselves around your arm before launching offset arm towards the Wall of Flesh composed of the many Uzi humanoid demon thing you can string together that’s how it begins and they seem to have their forward momentum halted and it’ll take them a while but they seem like they might be able to free themselves but it buys you valuable time alright let’s next week
I’m sorry I fucked it up you right now
name Spencer thank you Camille thank you Dan for time traveling
everybody be nice to each other, each other’s work
or don’t but use your pain to create more happiness that’s all it’s required
governor of Ohio phone number


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