Episode
Description
Mayor Harmon has nothing to discuss so he opens it to the floor. Super powers are debated. Gifts are given. A special guest returns to D&D.
Transcript
Hollywood California what goes down down down
Harry Hines and knocked down here in Hollywood California
a couple lazy lazy Karate kicks I did there for you and you listening at home thank you for coming to Hermantown thank you Jeff Davis our comptroller what a wonderful job he has
well I got nothing I don’t have anything to talk about today
we did the
Moffat Emperor Stamos alphabet wrong and nobody knows all that’s wrong
battle battle battle battle
let me help you my whole life anyways and hangover all day today we watch look for movies in bed Aaron and the Channel 101 roast last night with the 10-year anniversary of Channel 101
some of you may not be familiar with Channel 101 but it’s been around for 10 years now to 10 years old I gave birth to something 10 years old
0 years old and now it’s 10.
People correcting each other. Samantha got milk that’s it that’s that’s all you get tonight
I got I got there I just paid 90s advertising slogan is partly your job though isn’t it a different part of the roast last night here was there last night but that one guy point we are roasting each other as friends roasting each other so that’s what a roast should be so good-natured you know fake you know betrayal and spleen ejaculations for no reason the middle of the shower and last I was the roastmaster and brought Dan up for the finale and then stopped roasting friends with just Lampoon
so you miss that question
hello ladies and gentlemen welcome to the last question where you get to ask a question question
all right good good well maybe if you if you got enjoyment out of that maybe it won’t be a bad show maybe we accidentally assembled some people with very low standards tonight and everything leaving right at 4 I pick the perfect musical cute let’s go deeper first what’s your name sir Kyle what’s your question how are you doing
I’m doing good I was a little hungover
western western
how do I get to Target
where’d you get your haircut looks great question is where did you get your haircut at addendum it looks great
Chicago
next question
all right let’s go all right let’s go with Abby fungus bill
the question is to Dan Hyman is there any conceivable way that heat vision and Jack could come back
is that that’s been trying to have it for a really really really long time I just watched it we screened it at the Austin television festival and I was stricken with the fact that a holy shit we need to tighten those at its end but be I think it really just needs to be a movie if anything like I don’t know but then again it a really good idea for an animated series and I have no idea comes up and is going to get reborn it in some way it is something complicated happens is it was a lot of lot of cooks in that kitchen a lot of lot of lot of lot of people sharing that intellectual property
under the right circumstances would you wanted to come back I think you could make a really really good movie but but like the actor the idea behind the scripted but I felt like going into doing it heat vision in Jack feature he listened to Jack kids is this thing I didn’t 1989 West Rob Robert Rob good for Fox of the pile didn’t get picked up by Jack Black is a super-intelligent after that he’s got too close to the Sun whose brain expanded he’s running from NASA with his talking motorcycle Voice by Owen Wilson and I always felt like if you did a movie version of it the movie version of it should be like I wanted to have a kind of meta quality to it where like the the sort of Knight Rider e Holt cata me in a Buck Rogers s kind of fantasy
quality to the lifestyle that that that Jack and heat vision work caught in along with it episodic nature reserve a metaphor for the bachelor lifestyle but for one settles down you’ve got your one buddy who’s like never going to let you settle down AKA like a motorcycle that can’t stand still or he falls down and stuff like like like like that sitting right here Dan and so it’s like my version of the feature was going to be that Jack like first you just be like 20 minutes of awesome just like you just do it Vision in Jack’s do like an episode or two just like Wing through him like and then and then and then plot point one on page 20 is Jack once again for the 500th time or do you think he’s lost count like you once again he goes into a small town and meet the a nurse or an aerobics instructor or something and she’s having trouble of us did that that indirectly leads to us
Supernatural Adventure but this time like he goes home with her and he’s doing the same same routine over and over again with just cosmetic differences his life is templated and successful syndicated if you will end and then end of the woman’s roommate comes home and it’s it’s a it’s a girl that Jack did this with like like five seasons ago has completely changed she’s going to become a real human being and this person that she knew had this dalliance with came in through her life is it he he he he hadn’t changed the ball and that was the like like like Jax really seeing himself through her eyes as a creature of habit as a as a person who wasn’t whose life was going through these these illogical patterns for instance why are you running from NASA still have you tried talking to them you know what what what why
when you find out the Bigfoot exists why don’t you use leverage that information to get people to stop chasing you or or a or just like why do you bother Finding Bigfoot when you’re on the run from these people can’t you use that as an excuse to that that that that hit he starts asking questions that you’re not supposed to ask and that’s for the triggers their greatest Adventure yet but that’s where it falls apart and that’s probably why I don’t ever get to get made hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss go in a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents like you can get out well actually, no one messes that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker at myself and one of them
blackest film nerdiest film Earth-like ever you’re always in good hands adventures in Blacksburg, what Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platform
I would really like to see that I can probably just do that not call it even a Jacqueline octopus face and suck dick
octopus face and side chick they’re best friends til the love in and they’re going to go in some adventures in faster for us to do battle with the Loch Ness monster find a werewolf and eat some Lobster going to go down to basement with you
these characters are
ready to
assault you
retraining my brain did not go to certain communica Wells
at 40 pop song that’s an unforgiving Tempo there to hear you all right let’s let’s listen I want to know you you have a question sir
between sex or teleportation for the rest of your life what would you choose the question is if you had to choose between sex or teleportation for the rest of your life
which would you choose I mean I would ask you your name but your new name is segment saver
the better question
that’s amazing if only everyone wanted to know something like that so that everyone can do a show or teleportation for the rest of my life meeting if he chose teleportation there could be no sex
can’t be pleasured sexually anymore like never more no more orgasms ever will it be will that raise my already Rising risk of prostate cancer like I can’t cuz I know the statistics about that like if I don’t orgasm five times a week like I enter some risk group dissect now right now
dad
is it a time machine
will you come over and help me reset my teleportation machine if it keeps blinking. I was about to say that to her and then realized the reference to its liking 12 has become the new when we were fifteen if you’re busy I was blinking 12 at met you were 38 it cuz you didn’t know how to set it at now if you make that reference your people know you’re forwarding
a funny reference is blinking 12
r, d is blinking on and nobody here knows how to reset it cuz they don’t know what it is
teleport
I guess home
you can teleport anywhere bring somebody with you all men to pleasure Aaron and bring them back to the bedroom and into the closet dressed as Superman and just watch
are penis crooked still pleasure her but oh well that’s a big thing yeah I think that would be a teleportation at 40 like is very tempting like like places fast mother fucker trips instant travels anywhere you hate travel well maybe cuz I don’t have teleportation I don’t know where would you go Magellan
well I mean it would be like like you could teleport to the inside of a bank vault and give you it would be effective retirement
okay
yeah you become jumper yeah but what’s the point of having all the money in the world that you can’t enjoy sex anymore I mean that this question is no longer a metaphor
are you at 40 years old still capable of enjoying sex but I’d rather give that up so you could you could rob banks and be there I’m trying to break it down by one during like how important is sex to me it in terms of myself and how important is sex to me in terms of keeping Aaron and I like like I thought if I stopped at my ability to have an orgasm was the reason Aaron was going to stay with me forever then there’s also the children saying like I want to have a kid that I can’t do that I can’t do that I could go to Vienna and get to get a doctor to remove my sperm
set up before you write I mean I’m assuming I get like a 36-hour like Dylan
I got to walk around like I ignore it and I’m kind of say goodbye to everybody is getting teleportation instead of sex on Monday the rainbow room and no thank you or you made this choice you say have a doctor for this wait and save your semen in case you ever want to have a child you’ve cleared it with Aaron and let her know that virile men will fuck her while you dress up in a costume shop on that you guys are never to enjoy an orgasm again but now where you going to look at possibly make that worthwhile Dublin
has the flight delays Killers pop over to Dublin a good way to use teleportation for a guy with a rescue okay alright
he’s right you know what that’s another thing to consider if you get like like jumper it didn’t get it look like like the judge you end up just getting if you have an extraordinary power you end up getting eaten Away by the responsibilities I mean we all like you’re going to be every time you watch TV every time there’s a 911 you’re like knocked me under rubble and bring people out for like like I’m always in the moment it is no time travel to write its space so you can just be somewhere right now so if you’re watching 9-11 happen what were you going to teleport to work you fucking
specifically where in the building
he’s the guy that’s giving me teleportation or taking away my my my gonads what’s your name sir my name is Connor Connor okay okay all right maybe we teleported but maybe harmontown fans are a type
he doesn’t look like Russell Crowe
ocean if I knew that you plug in 12 baby
I thought you guys grown TV show back driveway just equally there’s a there’s a lot of handsome men that don’t look like Russell I think what we found out is that you guys give Russell Crowe a little too much leeway
I refuse to feel bad about that I think Connor would you like to go out to dinner sometime I mean absolutely did have it is it is it something you thought about yeah this is actually weird that this got brought out tonight cuz freshman year of college me my like best friends would debate over this and people have most people prefer teleportation back when it was freshman year of college but a lot of people have swayed when you were a freshman in college and you can drive nails through boards with your dick that’s when cuz you’re taking it for granted you like I’d give this up for my dick is so hard to get to the way can you believe that give me a superpower my kingdom for a boner
but you’re not for a year if you’re 25 to 20 to not to your old man would would would what about whether have you ever asked this question the most girls surprisingly choose sex and more guys will now that we’re not freshman in college most people are choosing sex but most girls almost 90% of time and sex sex sex is the ultimate teleportation
when I want to go to another place I just go to bed with Dan Harmon
it kind of forces you to not want to be there
it’s like I’m in a bank vault right now there’s a point in your life when you would have chosen to teleportation I mean still choosing what do I have to if I want to go to Madagascar even though I’ve never been there and probably couldn’t find it on a map lake like I think we got back and forth on this and probably thought about it way too much but I mean you’re probably more fun if you could just think didn’t go as opposed to having been there or seen it on TV like if you you don’t have to have been to ground zero to teleport there like you can just get them but if you can you can like just throw a dart and get clothes that work
so you could see National crisis happening on CNN and go there and help people as a superpower I think that’s part of it. Like that’s the price of admission
you can also do a lot of really fun stuff at night and think like me and my friends could just go in there with a six-pack and just look it up look at a T-Rex to tell Dad
I mean fuck scene in the daytime I guess Connor can I teleport to the Moon you could but you. You’d probably what I could get a get a spacesuit if you got a spacesuit then yeah and then teleport to the Moon with me facts about building a city I hate to be a killjoy but let’s say you teleport to NASA where there are space suit let’s say you find one that fits you did already exist
you understand that.
That was not a fat joke I think I make 200 people disagree
that’s that’s on them bad or 64 inches I’m not going to find me a space to figure custom-made when you said these guys up in the spaceship don’t you want all of their suits to fit all of them have pretty sure Buzz Aldrin sit with Buzz Aldrin suit and for like like a glove but I do not let him be able to go hate it like a Neil Armstrong has a peanut allergy and he get any any Walgreens suit gets all fucked up cuz I like whenever Glenn Glenn Glenn Glenn Beck I don’t know the name of another astronaut thanks
like a moth and I couldn’t tears a hole in the bottom line is like a bowl a strike and you go in there and you have a short Vince Vaughn’s without a spacesuit in there still chat be quickly and you try that on a team of people need to make sure that thing works but you can’t put that thing on it sustain you yeah you do I teleport to NASA I feel I steal a spacesuit and you’re going to give me this but they got mine are part of what do you mean if it’s all perfect giant wardrobe space suits and and you can just pull them off the rack, 42 long as perfect used to do you get right in
so you have the soup now you needed that this is not something I can operate on its own you need help on this right on a spacesuit on the moon going to the Moon I don’t know do you know part of getting to the Moon is proposing to put a suit on and in a spacecraft you need like two people to help you get in and have lots of friends I believe the telephone
because they won’t feel threatened by me because I won’t be able to Smart hot women friends but they’re going to be yourself on the moon because you don’t know how to operate a fucking space sir I don’t understand you’re always been candid about that, give me your top 3 5S some of your top five or whatever teleportation moments like what would you want to do holy crap you know about teleportation a lot to always asked right then is a can you teleport your dick into a girl’s vagina to itch
Dan Dan Jones is that a mate and is that a rape charge it was not a real joke I really I seriously want to know and I do I do I do I can you can you can you joke about rape jokes I can you can you make a rain joke because I’m not famous you can’t
is there a house I going to play in huffpo
Bob doing that joke
you’re right it’s all about the All About the headline okay so we’ll give me yours like what’s what’s the what’s the pie-in-the-sky teleportation I don’t know probably just be so much like funny shit to like fuck with people just like ranks all the time would be so fun
but I yeah I’m I wonder why I wonder what would make Aaron happier My Weiner or you leaving him dying on the moon
why can’t I see how long with all that money
I can take her to Hawaii I can take her to
take me to the Moon I mean if we find a space suit designed for going to farm Cave Johnson. I mean I’m only playing devil’s advocate here I want to be sold on teleportation than anybody else here have a good teleportation idea instant skydiving remember to teleport before you hit the ground right or before you blackout at the age of 58 Betty White teleporting around because I’m becoming a doomsday prepper I’ve decided I like like like that if you can teleport you don’t need to waste any energy doomsday prepping you are a dude
do our prep for doomsday because you’re sad like you’re all the more secure in it in a in an in an inventive Armageddon like the guy who doesn’t matter you wouldn’t need a bomb shelter you wouldn’t need you would need anything you can just like now you thinking just hang out like they could go to the news today gold drop the three silver points and the Russians are threatening to invade Afghanistan and your friends will be like on a man should I buy a shotgun in you be like I don’t care except you get to die at 60
it was teleportation your ultimate superpower or the other ones are better are you you pick that cuz I think it’s a good balancer superpower 111 gift I mean maybe teleportation cuz I don’t want to waste all that time I thought about it but
at least just throw that out there to make sure that I cover myself but invisibility flying all that stuff school but what station is like flying I guess what would be best but I thought about this was not girly I think Matt like we talked about like this super powers are super like you could fly or you have super strength and vulnerability and that whatever it is all so mundane superpowers that that you could give me to pick up you speak every language you like it did the rule is you can’t you can’t like become a real criminal and you can’t do great good with it so you can pick something it’s kind of cool but you couldn’t you couldn’t commit a crime by having that power so if I had a superpower definitely flight if I had a mundane power speak every language be able to talk to anybody in the world I think I’ll be very cool baby cool both of you be like that it’s flying stop every time you like conjugated wrong in French
play Cebu Planet you like a land and go like
play Ben she’s a woman
if you have the power to just going to be in a room full of people and just
my groaning and everyone looks at you and just hot blood and meat
cover the walls and if it’s biggest flesh and brains all over everybody and then after everybody stop screaming reform
why are why are you encouraging like you Connor I’ve given I’ve given Monday and superpowers a lot of thought and another one is addicted to jump out of any window to be out of this window here at meltdown or out of a plane or out of the Empire State Building and jump out a window and immediately reappear behind people that are looking at the rent them printed language you could just put Alan Thicke space up there like I said there’s a dog
but I am a Joe be like when they when they look back though it’s back to normal now have fun but then I was at you then you just making a bunch of people think they’re crazy where is it is if you if you can change like Billboards is that for evil you could change the Constitution the government is everywhere I just wait was watched one of the four movies we watch in bed today was X-Men first Class which is Awesome by the way I was I guess I’m the last to know that there wasn’t a big hubbub but I guess you just 18 year olds like they are there hubbub is contained amongst each other they’re probably have to stop going
and then I’m just driving by in my Prius and I don’t even hear it you know so I know what size are going to flag down the car
but I finally watched it today when there and it was really swell really groovy but I thought you did you guys like X-Men first Class
I got a hootenanny but it was the movie that I can’t use it for evil can’t use it for good superpower is like if you if you really can’t use it for game like I don’t like to use that to rob a bank or a to like to recommend this allergy is that if you can give you can think of it there’s some in and then you really commit to it if someone’s born with it like you reveal that this person has figured out how to use it for good or evil when it does it but but so so let’s just say I can’t use my photo shopping ability for good or evil I can only use it for entertainment I think that’s a big one for me to be in a restaurant I guess you’d get bored with it I would just Slide the menu over to you and go I think the special number three is right up your alley and I just
I had that last night had one in the front where I guess Miss to uncover what about control over insects like if you could just like how you can commit a crime with that extend in the middle of your garage and go all the roaches like kind of like like line up in a grid
Aquaman but friends are you falling into a pulp on people and reforming Society is defined by that you can use that you can feel for instance everyone give me $1000000 and I’ll come to your party why I got a blow up my dog I have using Google Google me but the Windows 8 would always be great
because you always find somebody like World Trade Center
any other 2012 National tragedy class at 12
maybe change your hands and the tools like lock-picking stuff like that is all tools or do you get like a leather man on your index finger
I know but you are hung up on this idea that there’s such a thing as a power that normal people don’t have that can’t be bent to 200 persons of society is defined by the fact that that that no one has an edge if anyone that does have an edge has used that edge to gain power over people gets into a superpower that plastic man like super powers like if you only make it look like he does some stuff Fred he’s rich and famous you can’t cross over into something actually useful it’s but he’s not listening to me he’s not he’s not listening it’s like talking to a wall
that one counts that one works
not you cannot rob a bank with a fishing pole deck what is that was robbing the bank the litmus test for let’s hear let’s hear it okay I am okay come up to you when I go hey can I have your social security number no can I have it if I have a fishing pole for a deck
you know what all right
I usually expect it out of your pocket but I don’t know
oh no this guy was born in this year you like without me look at your phones out of looking Google is the smartest person in the world
one thing you like will actually it’s this so you don’t know everything he just knowing someone is wrong you just have like the word puts a red squiggly line underneath anything that anyone says it’s called a super assholes
oh yes be funded bill says that the channel to a chair or whatever. You sure have been undone by B fungus Bill food that’s fucked up mr. president did you enjoy your roast beef sandwich last night and it will again unless
Mount Rushmore is
my face for X until I die before I see that happens we’ll be good
I don’t think I don’t think they will feel the same
you could turn into a duck but would have the brain of a Duck and Chip bathrooms where you just have to dial to Jackson South if it’s cold it’s like five five minutes a day. Just don’t go near like a fancy restaurant is that be bad news when I would say that you could be a duck you can set the timer on it but you can say I want to be a 10-second duck or a 10 minute. Get whatever
do whatever the duck would normally be doing but you would have your either you’ll be seeing his outside so you can fly and you could be in a pond and you can fuck another duck eat bread crumbs and shit like it it’s like a beginning of John Malkovich you can eat bread crumbs you guys
I didn’t pick.
You can eat red coat
prepackaged processed what
did you turn back into you just come back into your own body
transport your soul into a duck but you can’t control the movements of the duck
yeah so you just be Kelly
I got it all the time
no repercussions within reach you can have that that’s practical and you can’t rob a bank you can control all the hair on your body at will like you could open a bank account as a mustache guy and it’s my cousin comes in here
let him rob you
he won’t have a mustache I don’t know how Banks work I haven’t I haven’t been in one for years
we should have we should have Connor come are you a person that’s obsessed with teleportation sex questions or are you a person that could come up with one of those quandaries each each each week
I can do that if I put my mind to it will give you it would give you a give you a shot next week maybe we’ll put it put that on her notepad and have Connors question because Connor sounds like a villain that’s what it is okay
you’re okay
she’s a great Burt Lancaster impression
call the old man but what are they left with a hundred degree weather and a bunch of shity comic book movies
good luck have fun laughing at you through the worms in my eyes
I had Knight Rider
it was a thing I tried was pretty good I mean
I want to go back and watch the original A-Team series I’m pretty sure it’s still good because George Peppard a really good actor or more cowboy boots and one time somebody put them in a Dirk Pitt and they left him at the pit and they took his boots there’s a kind of final insults and then the rest of the A-Team found them and he was in the pit he’s got a cigar and he’s down there in a little like cargo jacket vest and like I guess mr. T or someone looks down at him and says what happening
it took my boots
nobody take my boots and I believe they went to commercial on that thing in your head is as so much better go you go back and I’ve talked about it before don’t don’t go back and watch The Goonies
the thumb yet
hang on to your Gooney goodies in your head beautiful wonderful Adventure going through tunnels controlled by dead Pirates didn’t want to go back and watch that thing for the human brain
all right we’re going to bring a special guest to the stage Jeff do you remember when we were at the Egyptian Theater after our harmontown to her and we did a three and a half thousand our show and part of it was we had special guests that were a Kickstarter donors to the to the to the to the show itself got to come up and play Dungeons & Dragons with one of those guys is here tonight and I because I was having drinks with him Friday and he was he was he was
he was a he was bummed out about how it went down at the Egyptian like I guess Spencer told him to when we bring him up and I want to see Happening Here is likely able to be unravelled can you can you guys please welcome Roy McClurg
la’roi
thank you for coming again okay that’s why I saw you backstage back I couldn’t I didn’t place you’re not sure he’s here with his lovely life lovely wife which consists of him and his lovely wife Penny and who I rapped about doing it with on stage because she wasn’t a fan of the podcast and I don’t think she’s here yet ocean are well as it looks as though I was doing again
but Ryan’s kind of you from Dallas Texas right right
hey wow good your ear up here again you were just in San Francisco right cuz you’re you’re producing some kind of jazz album with a jazz artist the to tell him get his new album off the ground and I was hoping that he could come here with a saxophone and play hot steamy music for us but see me while you got it can I find it other than can I plug in and play some of that right absolutely have to have clearance from your friend that you had to be in Asian boys
it wasn’t supposed to be that
how do you know those are Jazz musicians.
Are you that racist
they weren’t holding flutes and they weren’t using them improvisational it didn’t recapitulate that the original Melody and and creative out their ways
jazz
so when you got to the Egyptian and Union you kicked in some money that we used to produce the Egyptian show for the right to come up with it was your your your Kickstarter reward was it you got to play the end date so that it was you and the other guy who who’s the other guy not I did not need it that’s his Twitter handle but you guys then Spencer set you said he came up to you while we weren’t wearing the green room before the show and receipts I had never done it ever that was so forward to except for listening to to harmontown so he gives us the sheets and we’re reading over all these spells I had like these nasty spells how do you say see how often do you guys want to kill somebody
go ahead to me I took that is he wants us to kill somebody and so we spent about 30 minutes trying to devise how to kill somebody who to kill and even during the show or in the front row going okay now who would how we going to do this one or what what are we going to be and it went back and forth back and forth and when we got on stage we completely just crapped ourselves and and and what transpired was 6 sheets to the wind and place I was sober that was probably one of the most insane D&D such as ever I think the characters just ended up sitting around a campfire and Alternate Lee attacking each other and all I did was look at the sheet and see the Spells I can cast iron go inflicted moderate damage and that’s all I said and the heat in the heat at the prompt me on who I didn’t know I just whoever I was
again because he was
grown man is not going to affect the rest of his life but I can feel that you were looking back on the Egyptian show and going like I think I did something wrong no I was looking at it that I drank too much and I remember that moment very well and I couldn’t think of a better way to underscore the emotions that we’re going on and Michael linkedin’s track Heat
the lights are going down
so this is what they listen to in Texas huh
okay I got to defend him to listen to him everywhere everywhere Listen to I like a LinkedIn pick up his CDs you got seven of them we can continue this dialogue Spencer are you are you here are you coming
hey everybody Welcome to Spencer Crittenden to this day
yeah you listening to the cool sounds of Michael LinkedIn
for those of you with low-light Vision tonight you going to see a couples trip wires
this is sexy Jazz guy I could try that you’re going to try my friends are going to try all right
look what what what why did you tell I was in danger of I thought I was going to be misrepresented be playing pretty straight that’s pretty much how would you feel comfortable admitting how much you kicked in on that kick start on the Egyptian
couple bucks yeah if you pay a couple bucks anyone who pays a couple bucks I think I’d say deserves a chance to if not kill someone at least attempt to kill a a pretend version of them on a stage show we tried to kill each other pretty hard for about 45 minutes
alright okay you guys you guys are you going to try to kill us again tonight he didn’t tell me to never told you to I just said feel free if you play Jedi mind trick you said if you’d like to kill them you want to kill them don’t you yeah yeah I did say it like that all right
well it’s let’s go to Skinner and Erin mcgathy out here
you can sit I’ll just and I could stand here
I don’t know cat standing
oh yeah we need another Mike
oh yeah here are there the gold mic for you or Dan
super power
Dan immediately knew what it was I think about about this for a long time I would like to smell like a childhood memory of whomever I’m talking to
I can’t decide
somebody I might be a little too much that I don’t I don’t smell like anything but like I really want to please somebody I’m mediately smell like the plastic bottles of Chuck E cheese or whatever and they immediately positive more than someone just wrote so just pee
if that’s if that’s what it is immediately familial and importance in someone’s life and they respect me if I could pick a superpower for you it would be the least weird pronunciation of the word important
Aaron would you say you want to be important
I mean there’s both very important where did oranges really good I like it boarded thank you I think it’s important to wait am I exaggerating it now
also Colin was so great up here but did you just want her owner Conor by the way where the back of a comic book store is very important to know people’s names
I’m sorry Conor, that’s part of her bow is pronunciation
I’m here but did you just ask him to do a game corner
oh that’s really cool and really awesome and I had her if you want to Vanna White’s here game corner I can cold up a sign with other thing that we’re good
is marble a fire starter like kind of topic he’s need be providing I think you don’t own games
probably your mom’s freshly washed hair or like something that sounded install
what does you’re so important to tell you what my Monday in powers that want to hurt anyone I would want to be the rock for five minutes a day so I can control him Being John Malkovich I don’t even care if I have no agency I just want to see how people see the Rock and it could be any five minutes a day if it’s once it’s like if it’s like a rock taking a dump then I’m like no feels like to be the rock taking a job he came up with a community writers room for some reason we’re talking about The Flintstones and then one of the writers said you think that The Rock in the modern reboot of the Flintstone with his name just be the everything
and I peed a little cuz it was quite funny people who looks like he looks all right to carry something and he’s definitely yet another piece of evidence that what do they call it when we get a racial mixing
there was a there was a fancier word for
I did not miss educational sir I can’t remember.
Whatever anyways we had a guest a long time ago did we are ears out or was it back before harmontown errors that might be probably had a guy who wrote a book about like how biracial people are healthier than the idea that biracial people are physically healthier headed back more attractive to buy Rachael baby isn’t there and it was retracted doesn’t it was a it for him it all boiled down to symmetry that you can actually measures the amount of symmetry in your face right interesting compelling book about life is not a scientist
he was a guy with opinions a bunch of like if you look at it most of the most of the word over and over yourself I think this might sound on PC but any not Asian race with any Asian raise those babies first of all Asian babies already are like so cute like
making the rest of us babysitting. Those are your babies could you didn’t you look for their flutes
don’t have flu but yeah I know what you’re with Tyson Beckford is half black and half asian and he looks like it makes you believe in God again recapping the book Lucy Liu zhi Lu you go girl 30 to 40 minutes
go ahead and Hate
we have a hand up in the front row here
how do you think it’s a thing for us. Can you come up here while she’s you sound like you’re locked in a chest
do you want to wait till later seek
Adam going to say this I’ll be waiting from Tacoma or he’s here the aneurysm Survivor and did a Kickstarter to the comic book about the about a superhero who who knows his days on Earth are numbered and is seeking to go in like make amends with all the super villain great idea of the book that he
so you got overshadowed like
but I I love cupcakes I know I see what I brought with something a little bit rare than the book we we sold out of the book thanks to the dance support I don’t know if you guys know but on his birthday he had donated to the the book and and made it possible and it’s been my dream to make a comic book and I ever since I was 8 years old and he made it possible so and then he tweeted you guys to donate to in the lot of you guys donate so on his birthday which I thought was made the whole book worth it so what I did was I made
but what I did with that made a very special print I lost my I had a lot of damage to my temporal lobe which means a lot of my visual memories are gone visual memories you will like or like like like I can’t remember a lot of things as visually so hard for me to draw I used to draw so I told Kevin Eastman that’s who is the creator of the Ninja Turtles and he said well I want to draw something with you so will you draw something and then out ink it and and I said well that’s would be a dream come true to get to let’s do it and make it a exclusive thing so it’s a very limited number of print and put the rest so we just made two hundred of these and I want to get everyone here
it’s amazing
all right well she can those out lady do you want to follow that yeah I survived cancer it painted yourself another partner what was what was your name
so I just made like keychains with everybody everybody’s DND character names on Spencer’s
and that’s why I made about like 70 so not sure there’s enough for everybody but I made special one for you guys thank you
after the show also what what one of you here we’re raising a barn
what if we just met Kayla has a weird insular created in it somebody brought a bushel of corn and we just all help each other and thank you might have dropped one if we were good people we would have a food drive once in awhile
yeah that would be something we could do I was speaking of Charity as long as we’re this warm glowing a portion Roy you you were telling me about a charity that you support over drinks you know just supported over drinks but it’s easier to there’s a there’s a charity started in LA’s called after-school All-Stars and the and I’m part of the the Dallas chapter and what this organization does is it takes at risk kids from 3 to 6 get them drunk yeah that’s why they’re at risk
yeah that’s why I just
I didn’t manage to destroy one of the key chains and now there’s just a busy guy just destroyed my in in front of the Samantha sorry about that
all right sorry Roy this early anyway they don’t get drunk what they do is they help channel the kids into whatever programs have an interest in it and they specify in the Arts and drama painting acting music cuz there’s not enough of that in the schools now especially 7th 8th 9th grade kid so they create programs for these kids after school so they’re not out just roaming the street and getting in trouble breaking the law that kind of thing they all said do some sports programs also form so you can pull up online it’s a really nice charity you can you can donate to it you can also they look for mentors so they look for people who are interested in just hanging out with these kids and pushing them in the right direction rather than you know get in trouble all the time so it’s a busy tonight it’s a nice charity and it’s like
just real Nation I were supposed to come up with ideas and create things which which justifies our kind of hegemony and I are we we have been as we have been in during the global economy has been scaling back on educational programs in the first Corners that we’ve been cutting our the corners at send kids into spheres where they become creative right now the whole creativity thing is is gone now they don’t have the art programs that have music programs you know if you see if you see somebody that the other a seventh-grader who picks up the trumpet and decides to start playing at there’s nobody to sit right back so sad now it’s good we’re helping to help the kids
what’s the weather like in flu and Yellowstone Park going to turn into a super volcano like like like attending any any minute now your heart get stopped
oh and
yeah well won’t come to harm until they can drop by
I teach kids to draw it’s good until all are they all be painters I was going to say one real quick second for real superpower mine would be like just trying to make it happy you don’t have a genuine real one would be time travel I would do that just cuz I’m eating a lot of shity pizza you know I just like hey don’t eat at it’s not it’s not great that’s deep it’s crazy it’s no good knowing you already got all the calories of a good pizza but it tastes what were the Chicago and went in and asked everybody I meant Chicago people that worked in restaurants and bars and people were locals I pulled everybody what’s the best pizza in town I want to place it was the shittiest slice of pizza that we had one of the biggies it was garbage that’s like right now if you could have gone back in time
cat City Pizza you know so much more to keep up with it so it takes money away from them so they can’t eat and then they lose that weight I wouldn’t present that there was like oh believe me I don’t have that power
but we were saying like you know how everyone says go back kill Hitler I was talking to my friends don’t let my over like very funny and I’m not name-dropping I just want to give them credit you’re not name-dropping if the name is Matt my yeah that’s okay well I just say it would be much more productive if you went back to look like a bunch of Steven Spielberg movies
but don’t show him Schindler’s List
tell me about go back a little farther a little further before he met I don’t know I guess cuz I don’t want to kill like 28 year old Hitler I keep me like hanging out and like at a coffee shop at like playing Yahtzee and you come up in your garroting him and it’s not safe
his his dad joke breath as he dragged him home from the Australian bars
It’s hard out there for a Hitler
Michael ausiello
it’s not so bad grand Harmon
hiding something like a picnic with Stalin a cosmetic a gesture of bringing up the aneurysm guy he proceeded into the meat of his lecture call Dave Hitler ship there was some guy
link between the two things to think about that but obviously that’s what I was going to say this I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Aaron is not with you because of your dick like
I don’t mean that in a bad way you can have the best deck in the world last no idea very concise
dick digest very well
marriage is really quick ask you about this Fleet of Vera I’ll see what you think my sexuality is because it’s certainly not just have someone someone Hammer my I think you would have a say in the matter he doesn’t have like a team of guys I feel like maybe pick a continent
whatever I want to round you up to
call me right back if you want something spicy tonight
I don’t know what that means but I like it better if you want to stay in for Italian tonight I would have used for men with your same brain and heart
forecast
I love having sex love having sex but you know what I love being able to go anywhere with SNAP of a two fingers also if you you giving up sex it’s not like you you drive is all too dead right
play okay wait a minute 20 it’s not like it’s magical Diamond that you search for the end of a cave like I’ve had a ton of sex I don’t give a shit like if you couldn’t have sex it would be if you still have the sexual drive and you never had sex like imagine when I was 12 to 21 I don’t want to go back to that we’re all I want to do is have sex and the one thing I couldn’t do it right there anywhere we can go anywhere it just takes a little longer if you could get on a plane and you get his place that you could go to travel to Queen Elizabeth’s bathroom in Italian
yeah that you can go anywhere right if you’re going to also love that you could guys could go anywhere in the first place you talked about was Ground Zero
volume zero and we had that power if another 9/11 Mick Jagger of Nash of global events like Global world like a classes of like I can’t tell you is my teleportation I can try to exceed people you would be you be like Santa Claus like like you would just like like like a big sack of food it like I’m just because I feel like I’m going to go it was never be a point where you can take a break I give you every time you did you know the faces of the people that you let go hungry
sing if your teleportation you would just travel giving food to people who don’t have access to food I think you would fall into that because you said you couldn’t even enjoy
teleport to the tip of the pyramid like some jack off and go while you know that in Africa like there’s people you could just bring them antibiotics or where would you pop off to you like the first off that’s what’s important of what what’s what were some some places you would like to be all that was like that was really preaching people are are really curious me up like to go into a couple different are you invisible
you want to just watch people Rock in Paris
have that arranged very easily
tell me more about the tell me more about Asian people what they’re looking at home India I want to take to mail
I’d like to see canals Magic Carpet in India yeah they did shoot there
do you know I I don’t want to talk about that shit do we know that you were asked
yes I was from Los Feliz to Beverly Hills in a second instead of 5 hours this is very much miss having sex I like having sex I definitely want to have children enjoy having sex with Dan we have great wonderful feeling emotional romantic meaningful exchange rate
technical difficulties
Disney all right what are superpowers
it only works that was overlapped and wouldn’t have worked any other way what’s up you guys yeah I’m so honored and I’m not even doing a bit like that’s in my head your dad looks exactly like Gandalf
yeah the white the white so he’s even above the gray okay I’m very excited I never met your dad what is your definition of Honor awesome no
that only makes you a bigger conundrum to me
my dad yeah life is going through some stuff you know that’s right did that show bring you guys any closer to push you farther apart or no I mean whatever they didn’t hit it with it didn’t affect anything
oh I miss that as I don’t know what the history is now just happened nothing happened to the character sheets and want you to I want you to introduce D&D tonight to the Sweet Melissa Lewis honey flow and notes of Michael lington smooth jazz in heat even hearing the stay with me is everything everything must change that sound romantic when I hold you when I hold you okay are any of these lyrics sized that’s all instrumental.
if you are you can you get can you give it your smooth jazz against the best I can give it in my my most embarrassing Lee honest attempt that’s all we ever ask me to Spencer
all right show me I guess Spencer Crittenden everybody
start
lamp time on Harmon at our heroes having been whisked through a tree by means of Rudy would grow the third or brought to Mango bus a locked Yellow Cab home of the but the Lots barbarians the group was horrified to discover demons infesting the encampment leaping into action Chris de Burgh stabbed a demonic Taskmaster in Sharpie blasted him with fire mo’reen and Quark had a brief aside before attacking the demon swords knives blue and the demon was slain but Heroes broke out of the bonds of to change barbarians but their victory was short-lived
losing out of the massive hit several slimy in the mirror looks sharp in Tangled the wriggling bath with his spring powered Vines were trapped for now but will our heroes be able to use their borrowed time wisely and bring back the Barbarian badass before the brief Bramble barricade is breached by the Blobby brutish him yours
is sensual siblings will find out next on Harmon time
this is some great Tunes sorry to cut off your praise. Much I didn’t hear a single thing you said cuz of my giant throbbing erection right now I just beating in your ears
I could cut glass right now
I’m worried it right now I take it no one listened to me was always okay he you didn’t agree to The Pact if I remember correctly
he he thought better of it in his mind but outwardly he accepted never agreed to it so it seems weird when I packed with the pack and we love each other but you remind me of that right now and I hold out my Amulet of winter and I go sounds cool to me
I hold on my Amulet of Summer and I say
those are demons Birmingham let me melt your assholeness with my amulet as I say go fuck up shit
I just said it was cool with me and you call me names
well I apologize I thought you’re fighting it off but I was saying I think it’s supposed to be with my son at school I’m sorry I called me and asked Yeah Yeah Yeahs probationary pack a large pit
out of which Slither those 7 when yours those ones that got entangled in Sharpies Vines to the West the two free Barbarian allies are free more trap Barbarian one semi familiar think you might have saw him last on the plane of Twilight he’s a half-orc gentleman with gleaming armor and a broad axe he was one of those slaves or he was chained up as if he were one of those okay but
his bonds being freed he he he trots up towards you try and try so where did we land on the pact and you guys can afford to gentleman I remember you I often own up to the fact that I’m an alcoholic and have frequent blackouts could you remind me where we met do fly as as do I I don’t remember either but we must have had some where it’s Roy
what’s play here
what’s Roy’s name what’s your name
flap squat thrust
remember from your boss like 30 seconds ago that was you that was earlier
lady in red and green and yellow was a real squat
play Black. OK West name Thrasher but we got to reacquaint each other before we do anything right we have to all have packs I heard about a pack that was going on that didn’t think I make a pact with squat thrust
so I don’t have a pack you can join our pack you want to do a three way past each other but it’s just the tip what do you think packed means yeah let’s do it
hey sorry about that I really are atoms
could you use some music by don’t worry about it
after pack
so I yeah you know you tangled up those demons and find those are the closest demons but I’ll look into the north UCF at all demon he’s gray skinned and skinny styled and he’s got a scraggly beard made out of 10 goals and he’s wielding a fiery whip he’s he’s about three hundred feet off but he sees you over there and he’s coming towards you is he he’s not all right but yeah but like a demon giant cup of coffee and has headphones around his neck gauge him
ocular lihit meeting I make eye contact okay like I don’t
I cannot today kind of I don’t just don’t like Jeremy Renner kind of don’t just don’t he does
well I told him not to as he continues his approach he throws down his weapon he flexes is flexible fingers and you can see blue and red Flames dancing about his hands raising his arms and flaming in Flames I thought I’d throw down whatever I’m holding the night and shocking grasp my arms and electricity are about a hundred fifty feet off against this guy
he don’t maybe he didn’t hear maybe you weren’t loud enough
he does
I mean he said there’s an armed conflict resolution for a so sometimes maybe it’s saying don’t what if I was did the same time
everybody all right to 3
he does
guys at the very least he’s confused right now don’t affect cake turned out okay
alright 530 real quick I’m sorry
what if we say you look great or something they Keep On Keepin On
what you’re doing with your hair it’s working right that’s working
and we all compliment a different aspect of him
I talked to a nearby animal that I don’t animals nearby
I know know know
yeah I don’t mean more it’ll mean more your compliment will mean more word like monsters from arousal
which is what happens every time I won’t make it to her house that they swell up the point of explosion which is why you chose
let’s do it all right all right so it’s 5 6 7 8
it’s really working
yeah
yeah is that him like yeah no no he’s like do anything he like Yeah Yeah from last week they’re just have been changed you guys had stabbed modify ride penalties from losing your shadows I might not have changed those two feet away from the battlefield that were on look like you’re in the middle of this area and there’s a pit near you it’s kind of blocking it off and there’s those slimy devils and yeah yeah then there is Roy and he came from kind of the North Area
I know we send the Roy in first they slap Squad remember when we let you free right now boy let me slap Squad in cost the right now is what you start playing nice
FleetPride don’t write okay
switch my clothes enough to actually do anything to this thing you could the only thing you’d hit him with the rest you have to be pretty close I will okay praying to your God do you see a light open up in the heavens and I was down from the sky and blast directly into the devil’s face
wow
he’s a devil he’s a devil
I was literally picturing Michael McDonald
I definitely said demon
but when I said Campbell you guys clued-in it was like a normal human anyway it does 16 damage
isn’t that your name
yeah but I’m not going to use that as a it’s almost like a come on all right well alright well you don’t have to use it I’m sorry can I have it I can have it yeah you know I’m sure it’s impossible and also stabbed you could do both but you’re too far away to get over to him right now okay so I do have a poisoned dagger Yelp
or the short vowel how about this
tie a rope to The Poisoned dagger and I throw it can we have an intervention
I wrote what I did I can put it back
I like to feel like it’s my signature move at this point ever worked not yet
can you imagine of rope and a dagger at tying the Rope to the Daggett it’s not a Scorpion from Mortal Kombat
over here except instead of I say
all right I just throw the knife at him yeah yeah you threw the knife wait was it roped or not wrote which is better I don’t care I just need a rope would make a nice less accurate but you would be able to reel it in like minus to tie the rope
human thrust
all right well yeah you throw you tie and throw the dagger and you strike the demon in the temple I land and he’s Jewish
okay yeah dealing dealing to damage Newark
my Dad ran into that same problem is really really
no Kumail Dan yeah we’re just going this way can I eat after I eat after not not be able to do you have to all right well then I when I got my arms are just like crackling with with ferocious electric energy and I’m like but now I’m going to
someone good forget.
Glass of champagne behind him as his height man Bowl rings turn my arrows in a weave them into my rope to make a necklace snack my put arrows in it in a way that are like like Spike coming back like a caller
and as everyone knows I make great rope necklaces so I run I run up to where Sharpie is I say oh my God I’m assuming that he’ll be my necklace and put it on a Sharpie is Sharpie no no no you’re still too far off but you could get that prepped for when he’s actually nearby but you know he doesn’t know who you are or seen before in your life and natural history or I would have put it on the idea that he’ll tie it on his neck and it will stick his neck and he’ll he’ll bleed out
I made a pact so I run up in that go look the sounds like a bunch of horseshit but I’m with you all the way more rain if I if I could help you in any way with this necklace gambits I’m there
I’m going to give it to you so you can deliver at I’m with you I made a pact you tell me what to do and I really like the OU lost this I like that
confidently do it and whatever method you want in a woman
I mean I mean you’re nice looking now thank you thank you is very nice of you to say
IHOP in a barbarian rage I have my orders and I run up to the demon to go
guy shoots two Fireballs one of which hits hits Quark how much damn how much damage did it do 6 damage to Cork and four women how do I get involved in this doesn’t speak common what sort of damage sustained you took 6 ever went to what part of my body to the face fire fire to the face I turn back tomorrow with my face on fire
your eyebrows are gone and I look back and happy eyebrows how much for a head and I know it was worth it
but I’m too busy making another necklace to notice wow okay
no no no we don’t know what’s happening to do with this bribe you with lasagna gives me food she’s a feeder and it’s delicious
big people food
how do you spell Jerry Seinfeld
can you put it on there and you expect higher rolls for Spencer when he when you ply him with with with treats in a real-world perspective okay Carnation appears in front of you are in Magothy this is not of this world you’ve never seen anything like it it’s it’s it’s skin is crackling and a shin there’s molten lava in its eyes and you offer it a a rope tied in a knot would it be you or would it be I’m a demon here to play The Souls of the living I got to keep doing that regardless of of strings or not sore necklaces
I mean here’s a real Cushman do do demons just have no no and security me like they do
I mean really I did not accessorize
they’re tortured their tortured creatures my face is on fire like I came to this plane to murder people I am spared all the people that look like this person only humanoid every creature has some sort of demon has to prove a point about about Pat’s and about team you guys are all playing your character is very accurately back I run back tomorrow and if it’s still my turn to have it turn to do this or no yeah it’s your turn again he threw the Fireball and a friendship bracelet
at the very least the demon is going to remember this battle
I mean I know I made him a necklace but can we remember the time with someone initiated attachments for the fever there if I wasn’t a captain or a hundred fifty feet away by the time you were doing that I would die for you the pack how’s it working out so far it’s stinks okay we have a pretty good packed here
what made a girl over and over again I stabbed him in the chest we have an opening in the pack yeah we did it we don’t have necklaces or arrows or anything like that we don’t get our faces burnt off yeah yeah makes a damage to the face
oh is that what we’re doing yeah
Fantasia Great Space they take the blood and I took a picture of his family dying on my horse
what is a great story for the demon
these people are easily flattered today wait till you hear about this
what is your feeling is what I want pictures with not slap Squad
okay so I’ll ignore the painful evisceration of my face and I will cure cork serious wounds your court goes back to full health
yeah no one left at one place Christopher’s turn the knife back in
is the payoff that that happens I’m a reaction shot in a 1980s commercial for the the rope tied to a knife
pretty cool right
does not include knife and I just fucking shoot it at this you miss sorry yeah yeah
traffic is marching toward a crackling electronic energy preparing shocking grasp thinking about all of my father’s abuse of me and just locking eyes with him and just going to don’t
now you will be great
I think your catchphrase needs a little bit of work
start to like that thrust Guthries
dealing 19 dammit
electricity pulses through his body and he shakes violently and you see his eyes popping it was and liquefy out of his face falls to the ground and disappear dissipates into a black fog that drifts away
that’s what I meant.
good job right you did you need
McAfee
Turner will see you next week for the teleportation versus sex I think you I speak not only for the artwork and Samantha for the lovely keychain