Episode: 266 – No Lime

Episode

Episode: 266 – No Lime

Description

Spencer shares his adventures in jogging, needles and cupping. The Ron Jeremy banana mystery continues to perplex Jeff. Dan records an introduction video for Rob Schrab and spends a little extra time making sure it’s perfect. Featuring Dan Harmon, Jef…

Transcript

what’s up harmontown hello hello hello beautiful I think everybody harmontown
pick a president bring out your game master sent to prison
for a few drops on their great having you back in just a minute
thank you not allowed to talk about tonight there was there was a gunmen at large and Los Feliz last night yeah I never heard what the what the day tomorrow that was yeah I don’t think they caught him and I don’t think they ever told anybody what was going on so I think maybe it was like some kind of swimming like green or Body Snatchers thing like the guy maybe the guy was maybe he knew too much and they either did or didn’t catch him in any other case if they can’t tell us what happened you think it was an Tifa it could have been antifa just got back from Ithaca New York to give me this hoodie I thought it was a mistake to give me a a women’s studies degree like I don’t think I don’t know if I heard that but as Susan B Anthony says
fuck it because I didn’t earn that degree all right at work when you get an honorary degree in something you can’t use it for anything right like it’s right there must be water marks honorary yeah I think they say it to go get a job you could try but I like it very Collegiate so you think like you look like you might have just talked poli-sci I had a good time at that school I guess that’s a gig now that I can do some kind of tipping point where I can get invited to speak at colleges and it’s the ratio of money to labor which is well zero labor and you’re just talking to people that I mean
was just a dude asking the questions it was like just like doing this show but but worse I mean like like night it wasn’t as entertaining but they were eating it up and are you in that big beautiful Cedar there yeah it was gorgeous theater everybody’s really nice you know just laughed at everything I do I said and they to PC problem now and if I get nothing of that sort came up really it was just a lot of questions about writing and stuff lot of kids you know TV is dispersed enough now as an industry has less money in it but you do now that there’s five hundred thousand places to make television it’s it’s kind of satisfying to see these these kids are talking about TV like carpentry or something you know like it’s a viable occupation now and if it’s if it’s viable enough if it’s a cheap Ebola nothing that’s going to mean very quickly hopefully the representational problems that we have will be
yeah those are sorted out pretty fast as soon as you can actually think about TV writing as a potential job the problem is how the fuck is it like it’s not it it you’re making even less money now there’s more places to to try to sell your TV show but it is so everybody’s taking like these TV writing classes and stuff and everybody’s questions are all you know how how it what do I do about it and I don’t really have the answers for those kids so I’m not somebody that that that that ticket on normal path through the system I would like me yeah I took the most time-honored of all power generator I had my head down and just put one foot in front of the other you know did the did the work
started running yeah I hadn’t I hadn’t really talked about on the podcast because I didn’t want to break the spell but now I’ve basically stopped running so we can talk about it for a while Spencer was tweeting there a Jack 15 miles today and I was the first one or two of those I thought was a little bit of irony or like you were being facetious though you really getting it in that was only after I was confident nothing my skills text Lee publicize that I was going for quite a while before I was doing the treadmill or you out in the street now is on Griffith Park in Griffith Park run around in a big circle is all jacked up and yeah so so your knee exploded right yeah it’s it’s it’s so good that I was I was jogging and then like leaving my knees would hurt and it’s okay
oh for real I thought that Chris is making that noise but I found bored I mean I guess it’s like a free app fart sounds
so bad
I mean yeah okay I’m sorry it’s fine I’m just insulting me see this is bad for the definitely sounds like a better fight we got to get you some good fully artists to work with old-timey Rock like radio show hurt his knees back it would hurt my knee while I was driving and then I was like oh driving is fucking up my knee and I kept running but I think that running was fucking up my knee and I was only feeling a while I was driving until it got so bad that I felt it after I was running and then I was like oh I bet I’m fucking myself up and so then again it was it was only hurt when I sit and when I was driving and it would be
Recreation I would say a drive between 2 and 3 hours a day most days and most of that’s just for fun you know and so do ya do boys the real it’s real fun time it’s so you won’t do it to get well I went to the doctor and put the day I went to the doctor then I started getting what I think it’s sciatica pain which is like on on the side of your lower back it goes down your ass down into your ass and then in my foot and it was like really bad and he was like oh it’s just inflammation I was like there’s this new thing that’s coming up and he was like sciatica and I was like I don’t know what that is and he was like it’s like your legs burning and I was like will know and so he’s like okay but then I looked it up after I left and I was like oh that was what he described it as if you had said a tingling or like an all almost like an electrical pain shooting down your leg
somewhere in your ass cheek and then going down I had that really bad I thought I was going to have to live with that for ever nothing but then it started coming back and I’d I may have fucked up my back more with the inversion table this evangelizing inversion tables for a while that then mcgathey had gone to the some chiropractor it didn’t that’s that’s dr. His name is dr. Phil oh yeah and he doesn’t like inversion tables in the medical community
The Untold height you could have done that where there was a guy like me and in a cocoon opportunity like this nerve pain was unbearable a big part of my job I can’t drive which is a bigger part of my job and I’m really freaking out and then I couldn’t run so it’s like everything that I’ve been doing with my life I just out all of a sudden couldn’t do and I was like what am I doing with my life and so I talked to Brian lafata and he was like my brother does traditional Chinese medicine you should see someone like that and then I was like acupuncture is like sure and so I was like you know who does
I’m sure Steve Agee and he also has terrible health so I asked him what the deal was and he recommended me to an acupuncturist and then I was like yeah cuz I got to sciatica and was like holy shit really did Wonders on my sciatica and I was like oh yeah jackpot and so I went like two or three days later that’s the thing is that I was scheduling these doctors appointments and it’s like we could see you in two weeks or whatever the fuck but then the acupuncture they’re like yeah come in tomorrow I come in the next day I was like hell yeah so it was great because of this point it was like another week or so before I let go another doctor appointment and I don’t like that was in terrible pain so I go to the acupuncturist I couldn’t sit down like the drive over to the acupuncturist was like torture it was really really bad and like by the time I was out of the car I was like I don’t want to sit back down and so I filled out the paperwork standing up and then they brought me into this room that had like all this this weird new age music and like relaxing music in a little
anything naked vaporize vaporizing water into the air and they laid me down onto a table and I think this is part of it there’s like an air of Mystique tell you anything you know and there’s things that I took as may be cold reading techniques she was like you don’t drink enough water and I was like I drink a ton of water and she was like I don’t know I actually didn’t drink any water that day and like when I poop I peed after I left in my pee was like neon yellow and I was like wow she really was right but so they didn’t tell me what I was doing she just started stabbing needles into my back and it in her really really they go I mean not really bad I mean worse than shot but they poked it and then I don’t know why they do it but they kind of push it in further kind of twisted around or something I think she was trying to hit a nerve or whatever because then sometimes she would stab it right into like what felt like a nerve and then it was just shoot like lightning.
you know what is like you’re trying to stay still but like your whole body is like jerking cuz someone stabbing you a fucking needles into your nerves which are the things they’re supposed to feel things the most you know it was really crazy so she put the needles in and then she left me for a while and just left and then she came back and then she attached to wires to the needles and was like tell me when you feel like it and I was like I don’t feel it and she’s like tell me when you feel and I’m like what am I supposed to feel and she was like you’ll now and then and then eventually it started feeling like someone is like like rattling needles because of the electrical shock I don’t know if it was jiggling the needles or whatever but I was like so now I’m getting electricity sent through these needles that stabbed into my nerves you know and it’s an appendage she turned up the power pretty high cuz I wasn’t feeling it and she was like oh you’re a strong guy and I was like I don’t I don’t know I have a low pain tolerance as you know pretty painful to be stabbed by just not feeling like
Legos is vaping my body and like I was making my nerves like muscles twitch and stuff and she’s like just just hang out here and I was like for like 20 minutes just with like this machine buzzing and like just vibrating my body and I was getting like you was making my nerves like light up and glow is really crazy
but I it felt like it was doing something because those very same nerves you know that were in terrible pain where the ones that are now like buzzing with electricity and stuff so it’s not like it felt like something was happening and then it eventually the machine finish that I made this like crazy beep in Spanish she came back in and she took it all off and then I didn’t know this was going to happen because there’s no communication she just basically shows up and starts doing stuff and she starts company you guys know about the topic is so weird it better work yeah I don’t know did she cut me basically on the same if you don’t know what cupping is it’s like a suction cup that they put and then they use like a balloon pumper some shit to suck all the air of it so now like your skin is like sucking up I thought I’d the artisanal way of doing that as well if they put like a fire a match in there yet
yeah right but she was just using what would sound like a balloon pump like you can’t see because they put your face down at the table and you’re looking through like a toilet seat and a chair it’s below your face and like you don’t know anything that they’re doing and you just assume it’s not make like you know Placebo magic but yeah so she cut me in all these spots and that was that was really painful like that was like as bad as it is to be stabbed with needles they’re shooting lightning through your body was really bad are you going to be mad if I saw the photo man I’m the victim of Revenge before I saw it and then and then I’m not usually like I just it was just like the the airdrop thing came up and I just I just before I even knew what I was doing
that’s not your fault that’s what the story was yeah you definitely didn’t know what I was doing I was just like oh but you if you wouldn’t you wouldn’t show it to the to the viewers would you know that’s embarrassing about that picture is not like it’s everything but the cupping marks like I have weird acne scars on my back and stretch marks in like way too much hair like I took the picture I was like man I wish that my skin was better because these scars are crazy. This is like a gross picture while so I then take our word for it Mr and Mrs America and all the ships at Sea like this fucking like you can see cupping pictures on an online it looked exactly like
call my ass it’s like giant cookies the diameter of a softball like it’s turning color that means it’s working because it’s did take stuff out of you and it’s like it’s turning color because all the oxygen is being rushed out of my skin to the surface of the skin because of a pressure differential has nothing to do with toxins but it it felt like anti acupuncture because they were stabbing me before and then those same spot they stabbed me there then sucking you know are I don’t know I don’t know if it was like but they look just like bruises are they when you touch them do they hurt as much as a bruise that size would hurt one of them kind of hurts the rest don’t really feel like interesting yeah but is it just looks like a straight up like paintball bruising worse really just like deep purple yeah like
turn like the twist your skin on your arm or whatever I felt like that for like 10 minutes while the cops were on my back is really bad but also would they were making my muscles twitch with the lightning and so then like the muscles that were twitching just felt like I had exercised them to death like they felt dead and really really really sore and so then by the time it was finished I didn’t feel like it wasn’t crazy vast nerve pain like I still felt that nerve like acting up but it just kind of felt like my ass was sore and I was like wow that’s really crazy and so yeah then I drove home and I wasn’t in terrible pain on the trip home which was the same Journey you know the same length trip and then the next day I felt a lot better and then the next day I felt a lot better and today I feel basically nothing I was like driving around all of today you can kind of feel a little bit coming in after about an hour of driving you feel nothing as in a good thing I get your you’re not numb and
I was told an instantly work is do sit-ups do do abs stuff yeah the one thing I looked up online was this one stretch for you put your leg on a chair and then you kind of pull your toe in word and I kept doing that and I think it was helping there’s one time I was driving and I had to like stop driving and get out of the car and then I just walked around for a bit and then stretch my leg like that until I can get back in and it was no good. You know what your story is about you know if the doctor said it’s inflammation and he could it could just be but that was that he was right he wasn’t talking about the Annika at all because like he didn’t know that was happening you know he didn’t understand it was it could have been because it could have been something pushing it probably was nervous and then that. Just got reduced and now we don’t know if acupuncture works and that’s the thing is that anytime anything like that I always have to ask cuz like if I didn’t do anything wouldn’t I I
how to improve to an extent overtime anyway long bursts and it didn’t feel like it was going away but then after that treatment it just instantly started going away so I know but I mean you know it’s not like intuitively I don’t know now that I’ve been going to this chiropractor for as long as I have I can definitely scientifically say comparing it to 40 Years of other back treatments of going to different chiropractors and I’m not going to that the inversion table and stuff like whatever my chiropractor’s doing is actually it has me pain-free I really thought might my whole family’s the one thing that we have is a weakness and both sides of my family like we have really strong tooth enamel strong with toenails strong Hearts Long’s that everything’s you know we don’t have a lot of likes
serve like a proclivities you know for for ailment going through my family tree we just kind of drink ourselves to death or smoke do you find that the strong fingernails has benefited you and your family and the other day I was like I said she’s like wow you must be really healthy like disgusting toenails that you need to clip immediately I really like I don’t know what they’re not they’re not flimsy and jaundiced they’re like eagle talons if you’re just joining us I’m gross the squirrel it’s amazing I’m also a bad person so last time I was on the stage I made fun of that’s a good description I made fun of the podcast
up and vanished posted by Payne Lindsey who you know I just got characterized him as a as a guy that doesn’t know what he’s doing he didn’t know what he was doing he learns what he’s doing but then he but it’s just like a podcast about him going I don’t know how to do want to do have a try with you I don’t know I kind of I kind of made fun of them I don’t think I was like high-fiving him I don’t think I was that flattering and then tonight I saw that he
he tweeted like he was it was clear he had heard the thing cuz he made cuz I said he sounded like Chris Pratt and he said that so he tweeted I start week for him and said well at least they sound like Chris Pratt and then and I think they had an emoji that was like kind of like a guy with a hand over his face or something like that like he was embarrassed cuz you know he loves his wife and like he’s just a good True Crime podcast that I made fun of him I hadn’t wanted to hear it it’s it doesn’t say you can’t you know that some shit head like a symbol just probably told him I couldn’t resist you know I just don’t understand that instead of the need to get that guy though is it it is he’s listening I got I don’t really think that that guy know the guy that went to Ron Jeremy I didn’t I didn’t like that guy was was
trying to cause before you say something like we were stupid to think of what we’re doing here is is in a vacuum of course we would say we’ll send out all right but it’s just like everything we say can reach is an intended target and maybe maybe maybe pay Lindsay is with it was already a list it which would be you know he’s a he’s a he’s a fun guy he’d make a great guess what you got on the show me to go straight to the source will be amazing if we got him on the show we’re interviewing and they’re like oh my God I forgot to ask what he has to say I don’t know what you’re talkin about maybe I was drunk and doing a job like you might just like this like throw that away like so many banana peels
when the person said it to him he he had a very quick response that he knew exactly what that person was talking to Greg he had a fall back I think when somebody goes on his right and asked him a specific question the other cute answer that’s very convenient I bet in the moment you he I think he had ulterior motives that way more complicated in the moment you could be both a credit for being clever to say like she has all these versions of how to deal with people asking him about a banana peel
David Keith
we talked about on the show I believe right yeah I mean I’ve been going on for so long I can’t I can’t remember when he was on Rick and Morty the last Rick and Morty
maybe if we repeating old news here but there’s a line in the movie Platoon that Keith David says and he refers to going back sniffing that cross Mana pussy down by the river and Matt Gourley and I from superego Fame and Harmon Quest Fame really try to get to the bottom of what is cross mounted pussy wide is a cross mounted what are the pros and cons of being cross mounted and Dan worked with him on community a couple times and you asked him and you didn’t get a satisfactory answer to that you know he was so nice when I met him has my exact same suit with a kind of a little window pane check and he was wearing a similar suit is a photo that I have I think I might instant noodles in that he he was so pleasant okay I’m going to be that guy and I’m going to ask you about platoon I got a question for you to claim on me and we talked and talked and talked about cross platypus it and we finally came and just like my dad
small wrist ownership said that was I was just reading my line so the answer is we don’t know and I don’t want to have to deal with Oliver Stone about this issue cuz he’s going to do a run and have some convenient answer me or anybody else can’t you believe that’s the thing it’s like you’re expecting
something dirty I think because it’s like a banana and so the fact that it’s not that’s like it’s a really move where I think it was I think he had a banana, delicious like like we joined there with song he asked him about it I do know that he seemed bummed out when a guy asking about him behind his back so that leaves me in that direction but I think that maybe he was just doing that I think he was in a bad mood and he was he was a thing that he does if he sees a banana peel he puts it and he does that he has up his sleeve and he likes to be funny for the probably for the girls and then and didn’t want to be vulnerable with you and I was like yeah I mean
you just you just saw a weird side of them I think then he takes a banana peel when you asked him if your woman why are you wearing a banana peel I think it ends up with somehow pussy than cross mountain and I think the Cross by the pussy is like it’s holy it’s holy pussy it’s like that got a cross like Christ pussy so good it’s probably across mounted pussy gross birthday I do I have to first Rob leaves town tomorrow and he goes back to Milwaukee and he’s going to speak at his his alma mater if I’m using that term right in the place he graduated from the Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design and he wanted me to do like an introduction on video for him
so I guess we could we could knock that out right now cuz you’re able to in addition to live streaming that you can like also yeah you’ll have it and then I can just give him a cliff right
you want some music that you want to go eat you want to go dry
why would what do you have the Regular Show you going to beat you and rap
can you put that up Zack
yeah yeah the man about to take the stage is off of Milwaukee’s rage she’s a graduate at this Academy he’s going to start throwing a little sober called Milwaukee’s rage he went to Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design he ain’t your mama’s pussy until she all right
this should be played at the alma mater don’t leave us hanging like that this one right here okay
oh wait no wait. Today that’s that wasn’t right about to take this thing
is all Milwaukee’s rage you went to Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design your mama’s pussy with a squeeze of lime
please walk around trabajo
Fine Arts graduate he paints murals on walls
it’s not all y’all some aides good the Disposable assassin and he started right here taking classes in Fine Art Graphics design at your mama’s pussy with lime as I mentioned earlier he also knows how to play the Wurlitzer know he doesn’t words that rhyme all so we ate your mom’s pussy with lime went to Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design d e to the e to the sign your mama again and now he’s coming out to speak to you and I’m sure you’ve got questions
how old is Art affect your life day today
that’s a little sneak preview and now here’s what we’re going to do we’re going to dance break
oh yeah
Rob schrab is 57000 years old so Don’t It Make a question to bold he might get scared and might run away and then eat some prune juice and parrots way it’s all he could digest at this point he’s like a mummy has two hearts just heard that stomach 57 years old
but he sold his comic with rice calorie Stone in 1996 and that’s why I’m standing here all right let’s face it needs to be clean all right okay in your frame right
Yelp the man about to take the stage is world-famous he’s Milwaukee’s rage name is Rob try but it gets the job done he went here in your school so if you ask for wisdom you might get it
all right
Yelp MC Harmons the name who hosted harmontown is my podcast game but I’m not here to introduce myself I’m here to pull my best friend from Milwaukee off-the-shelf his name is Robert Robby went to your school and he’s going to talk so pay attention don’t be a fool to ask him questions about art and shit and I respect your mama’s Tik Tok
cuz that’s what they can have Dan keeps leaving the stage and coming back into frame to take an extra showbiz
I’m from Milwaukee is my game
in town that makes people famous
coming from the top I thought your mama with the handle of a mop
the Chevron Corporation can wrap it all
my name is MC Dan I’ve got to wrap this one has a plan I’m going to introduce to you a very great man he went to your school with a his butt and I can probably had for tuition back then but he worked real hard and he took Fine Arts she took graphic design she ain’t your mama’s pussy with a squeeze of lime Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design
alumni time is here it’s time to ask a question this time to begin making questions into your future by gaining wisdom
is probably frothy
talk more about the XI has come
pretty Charming I don’t need to introduce myself I’m going to bring my best friend off the shelf he’s called my ad he’s not in the Chinese Triad but if he was that would be fine his balls have fuzz
set a reminder I know but I’m going to keep it clean right cuz it’s his mom’s going to be there in a few minutes this is the rest of the podcast
you want a different beat you what you like that way you want to do if you want to be one of these you want to try some pecans a little bit let’s try this one
yo
about to come to the stage right now
someone that made Milwaukee
on the map where that it was before
I’m not going to tell you his name till the end of this freestyle rap
find me Dan Harmon
Milwaukee is the city river
kind of city park God damn it I can’t I can’t
this is like you sitting at my ad in the screen comes up used Milwaukee’s awesome tomorrow to when you get a chance
you’re welcome.
Milwaukee’s generated
very many fine specimens of human being George Clooney
I assume don’t look it up
myself MC Harmon and the man that’s about to take the stage
my name is Dan Dan and I’m about to bring the master of Milwaukee and he is a great person from a great lake his credentials are not fake he went to my dad that’s the Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design Titan man the god dammit fuck you
his name is Rob schrab but don’t applaud yet cuz the job ain’t done I’m going to wrap and then run and introduce him his dick is so big. Gluten in it
fine arts major did I not know you didn’t I think you majored in graphic design
and then he created scud or I can just one more I swear to God one more I actually going to be somewhere in 20 minutes so now you got to go back and get me a cup of sweet cup and going on sweet sweet sweet cakes I’m going to cut the shit out of you a dispenser
Yelp
I’m here to introduce
most important man that ever came out of Milwaukee
it’s not me
is my best friend Rob schrab Yelp Yelp Yelp Yelp Yelp show schrab Milwaukee is the place you want to be from
I can’t do it you got it
you try not to be yeah give me one more.
Sorry this is good
afraid face by a great lake restaurants coming to the stage that he’s not fake you got his credentials from mingu go to see he’s the man to see he’s going to do soak up the walkie Braves get the vitamin D from the Sun is always Shining
graphic design and I could have one more one more one more whatever I decided right there we go
prescribers here we go
to me a great place to buy a Great Lakes but now I’m bringing up the man for God’s sake keep her best friend that went to your hometown with you if you went to my ad so what you’re going to do you guys asking questions and learn some stuff I ain’t your mama’s mom last night that I’m sorry okay here we go
he is the man to see all the rage and all its glory and all its passion don’t talk to me about crashing a party when you’re should be home trying to your homework
here it comes
let me do one so save that one and then she can’t use the rap at all I’ll do one where I just say stuff
yo
my name is Dan Hartman I come from Milwaukee but I’m not there for tonight’s walkie-talkie
said the horrible feel you’re going to say bukaki

yo yo yo my name is Joe I come from Milwaukee straps coming out like macaques a minute
if you add salt instead he’s how old you are but we started drinking beers where you are right there in your hometown but you and wraps Rob was home he was down in the basement drawing robots of shit and that’s why he’s here get over it he’s the middle of a super alumnus so you shouldn’t forget you’re going to be glad to come to this you going to ask him questions and stuff and it’s not going to stay up here comes to the stage he’s the Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design’s Bridge he’s the most famous do the most powerful and that those things matter but here you go you’re going to get a taste of what makes him great and ask him really important questions for God’s sake don’t just say can I have a job cuz you can’t so here he comes with his special pants Rob.
yeah we got that one that’s the one the faculty and the parents are the 10 that I got to be happy to know that the special cats is coming out of all right so alright means a lot hello Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design and I’m also from Milwaukee I did not go to your school I went to Marquette for a little bit and then I dropped the output shrab take to all right Market yo-yo the HRA be coming to the stage the man you want to be if you stay in school and major in graphic design jobs in Milwaukee gets into it with our Trent Design & design design if that’s cool
all right I obviously I’m not going to just do a good rap thought for a second I would all right so here’s the verbal one okay they just heard a gunshot and then the birds are going to start singing again all right
hello
are you an artist
or is your son or daughter one or is your child the non gender binary
starting over
Target stay on target
hello Milwaukee thanks for voting for Trump you fux
yeah I was going to come back and visit to but I had stocks to sort you fux I know the Milwaukee probably didn’t vote for him I’m sure it’s a Blue Island in a big dumb Red State alright here we go but her emails all right
hello Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design I did not go to you but I did live in your city my name is Dan Harmon and I have become famous but I’m about to introduce somebody even more important than myself he’s the reason why I went to Los Angeles on a U-Haul with only my my mattress and in a pile of hustlers in a crate and now I’m I’m so glad that I followed him and listen to him he always had the best advice for me every single time I ever asked him for a feedback on a screenplay or how to solve the problem his advice throughout my entire life was always the exact right advice I only kept failing because I very often forgot to follow it he’s a really really really special really smart guy and and he went to your school and he benefited
from all the has to offer so I think this is going to be a great evening for you sorry I can’t make eye contact with with you please welcome to back to your Eye Institute of Art and Design mr. Rob schrab
okay alright good enough right yeah I was good all right
can we play D&D yeah it’s a bit earlier right well I mean I guess it doesn’t get that is right now damn it was never as excited can I do one rap now that we’re not that doesn’t have to be clean so I can you can do all the wraps you want I feel like
what should I do you feel any difference wrapping to the lack of audience or is that not a factor I mean if I ever been good if you really lay it down well let’s see if we can create some without the audience is that what’s that bit you got to be hard
yeah I like when you DJ cuz you got to you got the goods exactly keep everybody on audio
all right
yo yo yo
oh no oh shit here we go yo about the Spitfire dropping science taking me higher by rap is a function of biology about your mom so hard it was Scientology the clear things off of neck but their ruler over heck you said you mama go back to church but your mama like a name is Lurch from The Addams Family got to hand in a box going up into your mama’s socks put it inside out like they pantyhose fuck your mama cuz that’s the way it goes I fuck your mama cuz that’s the way it goes to fuck your mama cuz that’s the way it goes turn to socks inside out my pantyhose I thought your mama cuz that’s the way it goes went to the garage and build a canoe that nothing else to do the new hobbies and I’m pursuing I thought your mama and started chewing on her labia but not hard just a nibble just a tiny it did love nibble she asked for it she likes it
went up to the attic fuck your mama she was ecstatic said go get the handcuffs bucks so hard she had dandruff follicles with my dick
Twitter share retain more grease cuz they’re my dick fuck your mama seven ways but your mama for 19 days but your mama didn’t drink any water but your momma made two sons and a daughter sent him to school paid for the education front your mama all across the nation factor in Canada but your Mexico to fuck her in North America
okay
but you’re everywhere but your mama
I thought you Mama
watch mamma here we go
the Olympics give medals for shit but I never depended on it just freaked your mom is so good to give me one I told her I was just did that for fun they said he was a gold medal fuck him I was so good I said look I just got a special wood so that’s all I do I just I just want Mama’s now on come to you telling me that you got a metric in a reward system I don’t know I’m not even listening I only fuck Mama’s for fun only fuck mama still they say I’m done I follow their guidance in their permission to Mission nocturnal or daylight fuck your mama so hard she says it’s I stay right if you do it so good, keep going o yeah okay yeah an aircraft carrier made out of pussies
all right I wasn’t going anyway but yes exactly big ship made out of vaginas I landed on it the USS North Carolina I got outside mission accomplished a bunch of my was so hard that it should make my dick a dish served at till I was in rapid rapid like this rapid rapid like that chicken chicken in the air mama don’t even care raise my hand Lord of down what your mama like a birthday princess or a clown put up some balloons made him into animals but your mom is so hard that’s the way it always goes oh I went into the pool to go pee and grab a bar stool to put it in my butt got three friends and that’s where that
story and cross the threshold met with a goddess
goddess of viruses in a canoe
you you said to me I mean I don’t want an impact you said like make a canoe and then use like did a rhyme about xuan but you could have said like playing with a new one it would have been too and it ain’t going to be a massive morning rap which is certainly the time of this episode
you know it’s that time of year when that the people associated with getting underwear for the holidays how many times have you reached into your stocking above the fireplace and pulled out inferior underwear most of the time I would say I’ll just underwear itself even if it’s I don’t know not inferior A 850 regular underwear it’s a you have to force yourself to do you know fake gratitude regular underwear is it shity gift it’s a garbage it cuz it’s like a usually a big burlap sack made of cotton is that it’s not just underwear but it’s the Badness of the specific underwear that makes the gift impractical and poor yeah so here’s what I’m suggesting let’s take back the holidays this year and let’s just all give ourselves Superior underwear for which we are grateful you’re talking about me undies I’m talking about me and he’s okay it’s a holiday Miracle of softness next to your butt
the M is for mold all the microfiber softer than cotton elastic bands that I don’t care if you’re if you’re Muslim if you’re Jewish whatever it was We Care a little bit of your Jewish the religion that well let’s not but let’s stay on topic are you worried that your your underwear is too Zionist do you want it to State policy for your balls let’s all make an agreement this holiday season that we stop giving each other terrible underwear that’s how it’s been going on for too long the couple years ago when I opened up my Christmas present from you and I pretended that I stay and enjoyment about the terrible underwear that you gave me was natural sustainably-sourced fiber-based underwear for Spencer that’s what everybody wants and now we found out that it’s pop
all you got to do is go to Mandy’s this holiday season to get your exclusive 20% off the softest underwear and socks you will ever wear haven’t checked out the music I want these socks free shipping in a hundred percent satisfaction guarantee you go to me on this. Cam harmontown everyone is going to love you for it’s a goddamn holiday Miracle this year don’t give underwear biondes of yourself micromodal Christmas
eco-friendly fibers just hear those undies jingling with you Jesus hung from the cross bleeding to death over three days he must have wished you can be down let alone we’re comfortable that’s me and he’s.com harmontown
believer
Steve to the leave
hey Ya
it’s going down baby easy is it to show people my new favorite game Chris tell me if I have it plugged in here so Stevie how’s your love life come on, Stevie yep it’s a portmanteau I love it by my family was a case they used to call me Stevie Levy right I can imagine that’s that’s their fault that’s kind of a that’s kind of a Monopoly guy so freaking angry kid is going to rhyme with the last name has not been clever three old people on a screen and then I don’t know if your kid Robbie traughber historical one call Dawn of crafting, crafting so what’s the what’s the what’s the purpose who got three guys who got like an inventory
Iraq and what do you make when you hit me and then you can take the you can take the knife and you could probably slice some vegetables well maybe that showing the wind around are you in a straw Hut yeah like I’m not I’m not giving it a good people at people are going to think it’s a dumb game but it’s not cool
people are digging it all right that’s enough where you play as cavemen and you try to there’s a wheel now, if you are even remotely
a fan of crafting
Dan is there any danger of dinosaurs coming in attacking end of crafting situation no it’s not written by a Christian
music like I just downloaded this free minutes before Showtime I didn’t really have time to do everything right all right leaving we going to talk about love life know what’s going on and I’m not happening I told you give me time then maybe I’ll have something to report did you know that Kumail nanjiani yesterday People magazine the hot guy of the day I know how the whole thing works but does a picture of him having breakfast in bed with leather leather pillows and he’s got like grapes and three cocktails and he’s like he’s looking good well he’ll probably have
flat well
what do you mean how you know who you is he last time he was on the show he came out with a crown on his head and he didn’t use movie wasn’t even out yet that was just Silicon Valley but he’s a guy in the world are we working for him what’s it like to be less famous than one of your friends not I’m not jealous I did it just hurts to see other people succeed that’s what delineate the difference between jealousy and maybe I don’t know I just experienced physical pain when other people succeed so it’s not jealousy jealousy is a bad quality you just enjoy your friends doing well I do enjoy it but it hurts. It hurts I didn’t physically hurt me you need some muscle cupping yeah oh yeah
should I smack you with my dick so leave he’s not leaving he’s not talking about you just being he’s being bashful like Little Pony character 60 seconds to talk about whatever subject or subjects he would like go no one else talk
so that. Do the Miami Hurricanes yesterday
it was a it was a big fry Lori versus compass
yeah I know about that that’s why I saw that documentary that she has already had our contact here is another day and every so they met at the sing this year where every turn over which is like where they forced change of possession and they intercepted or recover a fumble player forces the turnover the turnover they get this giant golden chain with the you on it it’s a turnover chain and then they where it’s like 8 lb or something if during the game during the game though they’re like pick up there MoMA
that’s awesome I never check out a 30 for 30 on 30 for 30 you might like it it’s the narrative part of sports not the sports part yeah that’s true I’m watching the one I’m halfway through the one about Ric Flair do you watch that one then it sounds of nature boy and it’s really good because I know he’s still with us and he still he still looks like Ric Flair but like he like there’s still teams that in their in their locker room warm up chance like his like ring bat banter like when he would come into the ring and grab the microphone they quote Ric Flair that’s how much of an impact he had on likes Sports as celebrity right now is like a yoga guy right don’t spoil it for me Spencer gray color was the guy whose catchphrase was
Glockenspiel and hit his head when I made that up
cuz catchphrases hadn’t been kind of I think not ripped him off it certainly was doing his silver-haired Riff on that but yeah he was just like cheating on his wife all the time and doing and wrestling a lot and a lot
like every night video games and sleep or emails or
something like that church and I’ll get in the couch and watch like chopped Junior in park and yellow the TV sports live fantasy football teams that are in the beginning of the Season all his friends go in and they get I think five kids and they all put money in and then it’s whoever is kid ends up winning getting the pot but I can get down on that has great to have a blast in around they watch the episodes together yelling at each other when the kids are likes what are you doing you know how Cody and I feel like we just like being together we watch if we watch something to watch like a true crime saying but there are and then we’ll just listen to it what is a list of podcasts and things but
yeah that sounds really boring spending time with loved ones I’m just saying I’m not talking about you guys are having more fun I guess I mean like you guys seem like you’re in a better mood than me that’s what I meant tonight like lately I’ve been I’ve been I’ve been feeling like liquid with very little variation like I’ve been like like getting closer and closer to just like I just did just about the world ever so deeply cynical I got yeah yeah you’ve been pretty good I feel like you’ve been in a good place. I think there’s an irony there though that’s like kind of deceptive because I I truly like I’m some kind of given up on Humanity so once you’ve done that you get in bad moods less cuz you’re like oh you’re not you’re there not letting you down anymore because you’re not like striving to accomplish anything I’m just let it go I live in a planted a fucking drooling babbling animals I know that I’m in a worse mood
lately than I have been probably ever and I don’t know if that’s just the ravages of time or the or the the fact that we have a moron illiterate douche bag president. Who constantly everyday makes it there has to be alive I have a theory / rant about like I don’t know who you know we’ve learned so much about psychology recently for the longest time we haven’t understood psychology and sociology on the level we have and like trauma and how that impacts the brain and stuff but did you know there’s obviously been human atrocities and terrible tragedies and trying times throughout human history and stuff but I don’t know how often we’ve been able to really think about it on that level I wonder if you know this sort of stuff has an effect on people historically like if you went back to I don’t know like the Great Leap Forward or something or Holocaust time if if people weren’t also feeling like that you know just generally more agitated more at odds with people I wonder if that’s something that’s happening if you would
it’s a low-grade fever if you look like the protest and saying fix it fix it fix it flog like a racist Poland Poland Poland Polish people who were the original Nazi victims I mean we’re like we were getting picked on at like like my ancestors fled that shit like it it it it’s like standing pre-1940 you know for the whole place is got denied elated it just makes me check out you know there’s nothing it’s just so much bigger than all of us
oh it’s so inexorable and so you just want to go shit I should have I should have spent the last year you know sticking to my elliptical and actually like building a doomsday shelter and all the stuff because it’s not going to take it’s not it didn’t happen overnight so I kept snapping back out of it going things will be okay but like it’s just like it’s the truth is at least feels like that it’s like okay we’re on like a five-year slide into hell on Earth in one form or another whether its nuclear Annihilation or just like fucking like total like Global fascist do you like I can’t tell which is going to be worse like the war version of it or the peace version of it were but like in any case I just like the definition of inhumanity like getting so much
harder to meet in other words like atrocity becoming more and more tolerable and people pulling back more and more like I just felt like I saw that those that photo of Poland like just like he looks like a hoarder or just out why or how can I give a fuk like the people have spoken like they don’t they want to die
all right so anybody who singing right now anybody who got to go to go to squeeze in the side I don’t have anything currently they sat next to a 73 year old lesbian woman this is good this is good at the bar on that we were flight was delayed and she was at she was just she started chatting me up because we’re both Ketel One Drinkers and and and also the no line thing she heard me on the plane like making a big deal out of it and I was like yeah and I got like I can’t stress this enough no line and he’s like all right and then we brought brought me that raps about how many places you ain’t with a little bit of fun on this flight give you a line I like it like that giving me to do is like a motherfuker like no no not this flight what are you got a flight patriotism someone of your fucking Airline every guide
Gametime the further that the flight out there like this is what happens every Knoll I’m flying remember remember you said like OK Google look like which doesn’t work that way. All I heard was lime is all I heard was now boarding and I just decided to get on the plane you fucken beat my ass like you did that one guy when you wanted to make money like like like like you expect me to hear more than the words that I feel like hearing fuck you United Airlines fuck you fucking fuck all Airlines fucking cartel special you there I got I got I got to find something to be angry
I’m the one that’s getting lines putting all my shit all the time I’m the fucking lime lime guy you’re not you just two dudes it’s like wondering why I really need you to know know why minute you fuck whenever I get soda like I always ask for just the can and not the glass cuz if you ask for the glass will just put like 4 oz of soda and they keep the can and then they never do that and it’s like reaching in to grab a can and I don’t know I hate restaurants that you ordered delivery and they have Diet Coke on their menu and then they do you order a Diet Coke I got sounds great and they bring you a taped up ass fucking plastic thing filled with ice it’s like probably represents like 2 oz of of actual Diet Coke from a soda fountain & Son of a give me a can of Diet Coke
give me a can of Coke knobs things to be happy about you were with your heart and that although the fact that we like his last collection with people and trans people as being black lives matter people of the timing of this is like I was I was checked out like I wasn’t I wasn’t there for that Victory mentally I I I heard about it third-hand you know like like after the fact because I wasn’t following it I was intruding for anyting I wasn’t I wasn’t invested I was like numb but that is great to hear it is that is great to hear that that guy molested a 14 year olds this is my best day I retreated that guy with the hammer I feel like I stole your yelling at people all the time is it
guide to taking a Keurig yeah he bought Craig has his money which is at least I believe the narrative I going to take out index cards and it with each back to that we know cuz one of them is that he owns that machine one of them is that he won’t say what wants to know loves fucking children like but he he he he he won’t go that far but we know that’s not because of the the child support work or was it already has favorite show and then and then and then he saw and then Hannity came on the episode was like I think that it’s okay to just go fuck the kid or trying to fuck a kid trying to book for kids it’s fine it was 40 years ago and hey look at Kids R Kids they act like they know what they’re doing what they signed up for 14 and the guy was like watching it and he was like
Rockin 8 finally like a show that’s talking my language and then the commercial came out of the coffee maker commercial came on and said like would you look at that delicious cup of coffee at and he was like fuk I do I love coffee or he hates coffee but he went out and then I got it I just love fucking kids and then and then and then and then he saw the news and it’s like
some guy I made a joke so I get to eat about like I’ve always refused to make coffee out of any Machine by a company that isn’t one hundred percent in depend affiliate and then some guy responded and logically I did block him because I read some of his other stuff and I didn’t take it but what he said it was fine to start a conversation but I just know where the conversations going to lead and it was so if I accuse you of most of me when I was 14 you wouldn’t your friends and family to presume you innocent and protect you until Bubba Bubba but nice to know
if you didn’t see the nice to know something I might have I might have applied and like not into instantly block him but of course it’s a proven guilty but not Obama will see what it was he was he was admitted it appears these kids account for the same touched me he goes on television I never dated any daughters underage without their mother’s permission to admit it like it’s not even do it but like people are saying old. The he admitted it like we do Cosby hasn’t been proven guilty 9000 women said he raped them out you got up about the exactly what do with the credit
Tonight Show money off the K-Cup any company can make K-Cups and they make the machine right so so they’re not continuing to make dollars after the purchase because you get your K-Cups from you know anywhere he could have got the K-Cups from a tow company in an actually really stuck it to Keurig chock-full of NAMBLA is the idea of adding a company for pulling its sponsorship I think that’s really funny because we’re not really that’s it that’s it it’s already too complicated like you want my company already did the math on this like
the ones with the most at stake you’re so dumb you’re smashing your own property I think it’s fun isn’t somebody that they have accountants like and PR people like they crunched the numbers and said look I wish we were in this situation but the truth is we make up any more in the long run if we don’t sponsor the pedophile show you didn’t you’re punishing you’re punishing the free-market you’re punishing like you punishing like a company just going just not doing anything and you just don’t want to be that the it looks like the Optics of it looked like that. Pull their sponsorship after tweets like at like 85% of everybody and everything at all times but you
right imitates the last in it in it and it’s like Bizarro they don’t understand is I can get you realize that they’re sociopaths cuz you don’t like you don’t understand anything then like it’s different to say these are like this is the list of sponsors for this thing that we don’t like OK Google Burger you’re you’re in the crosshairs we’re not going to take Uber okay everybody I’m deleting my Uber app here’s a video of me deleting it don’t don’t sponsor Uber because Uber sponsors this thing and then you wait for Uber to Cave or no idea of that they can’t go to shows that aren’t supporting pedophilia and then I’d say like I’m going to stop using your ride sharing service until you support that’s perfect because what are you trying to say other than I only support companies who defend pedophilia monetarily
Asia cup of coffee position but that’s there is spells position they’re expensive Machinery off of a landing and it’s like it’s not heavy enough to be dramatic there’s a lot of internal cuts and that’s a lot of internal medicine to make it look like hydrating and taking forever like this a lot of internal control the thing keeps moving around and yeah I bothered you reply to me after I was like you know aren’t you supposed to be using a bat what’s with the goggles and then he was like I was trying to show how silly something is it like something like that like he was being ironic about it but he wasn’t because all I was talking about is how it was alleged and we can’t do this but then he was saying he was making a joke it’s like you’re clearly not making a joke I don’t know if I’m going to sandals and socks and a helmet if you’re going to be hammering something at your feet you don’t need
walking a hard hat which of the following your fucking head I just don’t work about you throwing out the thing that you already paid for it I got what I mean that with the start bus boycott was the same thing you’re going to say Merry Christmas we’re going to fucking buy coffee on a capitalism doesn’t work when you demanded the corporations pay fealty to yuridia logical agenda it doesn’t it doesn’t make any sense like it’s a boycott is a is a reaction when you you’re you’re you’re you’re protesting a company you’re trying to say let me hit them where it hurts and their wallet so you go to the sponsored say we are not going to support your company as long as you continue to make it financially possible for this person to blah blah blah that makes sense happy company is supposed to feel bad or punished for not doing something they don’t feel like doing like they they stopped advertising during the show
so you’re saying like from now on it’s important that corporations really told the line it’s important that they they they they were a communist you’re a fucking like what are you you’re not yours are you going to be lecturing me about the free market 2 days from now isn’t this whole thing about fucking money you suck at business you’re an idiot you think we’re going to we’re going to make money as a country in the world where you demand coffee machines love pedophilia or else
it demands that they like coffee brother because otherwise the country’s going to go broke man at like like like like I don’t I can’t do it any more fucking shit my dogs and then myself your dogs will be fine let my dog eat me like in Gerald’s Game is there probably going to be 5 like probably so an RV know Nigel will be fine Harvey won’t know what the fuck did you on his own dying at the first watch Nigel eat me to the fucking phone Nigel I think if I sleep too late and I don’t start nibbling my earlobes and he doesn’t give a fuck he doesn’t he doesn’t he doesn’t even when I come home from a long trip like Harvey or let you know it’s like Harvey went through a submissive peeing faces like her
is very emotionally vulnerable and stuff like that Hardy’s very empathic when Nigel did something wrong and I yell at Nigel Harvey like the gut goes and it’s sad for Nigel and shit that like that’s it’s nice though cuz it’s like it has its advantages can I come home from a long trip but Nigel just like the same expression on his face is like who are you do you want to play fetch like it doesn’t get it but Harvey and Harvey’s Harvey’s very connected is he still in the crotch out of your Mandy’s yeah I mean help I’ve been trained to take better care of my underwear food isn’t a shelf I put everything up as high as I can that’s great I’m glad to hear that
yeah I mean you could just use like a drawer so I can know who people put their underwear away. He’d toss your dirty underwear into some drawers
can you guys my mom know I mean that I’m saying that’s a bad idea at all your clothes and the Furious enough to get into a ham protein ah camper over to get into those sweet delicious poopy undies I don’t know yet but sometimes I swear I’m like like like I do that’s it’s there still a plausible deniability that like we’re out maybe I left them on the the bathroom floor
but yeah he he he does some fucked-up shit man like I he knows it’s wrong to like he is so crazy hot dog know exactly what they’re not supposed to do and then they’re just so weird like you leave the room and then there’s like they’re up on a counter like eating a bowl of cheese dip and then you come in and I just like to Rosie’s being observed and when he doesn’t think he’s being observed like it’s really interesting I had a Cody’s dog is staying with us a lot now Barbara and Cody was gone and I was just sitting the Mario and then I hear this like crash and I think I got Barbara probably maybe the doggie doors barricaded Barbara maybe Knox
barricade over maybe she’s hurt you know it’s a crash there was at I just I was assuming was coming from one place and I will walk from the room where I was playing a video game down towards where I assume the crack but coming from and along the way I passed my bedroom where are me and Nigel are both going like they just get so funny looking back at it as like at the time I was like I just noticed it was like wasn’t thinking at the two of them just had this expression on their faces like like like like like the expression you have of your doing a line of coke and a party and somebody like walked in you know they just kind of like literally they just had this like weird more like casual this to them like they’re like what’s up what year was fine and Barbara was fine and then I’m like wait a minute you too and I went up to the bedroom where they were like like straightening their ties and hanging out as I walk past and it was like
do they was like it was it was it was a picture of me turned over on the nightstands leg up leg leg and there was a there was a there was a bunch of beverages in in the drawer of Cody’s nightstand it was just like I don’t know where they like making a fort or a bong expiring
I like it
with Ken Tony nominations including best musical the New York Post says something rotten is a big fat hit this hilarious new show tells the story of two brothers who are desperate to write their own hit play while the Rockstar Shakespeare keep getting all the hats with a local soothsayer foretells with the future of theater involve singing dancing and acting at the same time the brothers set out to write the world’s very first musical with his heart on its ruffle sleeve and sequins and it’s all New York Magazine said something rotten is the producers meets Spamalot meets The Book of Mormon it begins November 21st the tickets are at the Ahmanson Theater. Org gets the Ahmanson Theater now through December 31st tickets at Ahmanson Theater. O RG now we return you to cast something rotten you’ll float too
Steve how’s your love life you guys hear about these Chinese murderface
all right we’ll do what we did we did we talk through the D&D time or mom is that it turned out a lot of snacks for a snack bring her some beef jerky I don’t know how it was before he was murdered balls was the main thing was it like mer like the herb or like the the gift to Jesus same thing anyway really I can taste it just thinking about I don’t know what it was so strong it’s like a very precious app and preservatives in any perfume and
what kind of a Healer kind of thing last episode you waited for on Sunday the eucalyptus tree is the boots and yeah I could swear I talked about this though I feel like you did yeah I heard about it but I just don’t remember if it was on the show or not
I thought so it looks like a Teamster and a sleeveless shirt but then I started noticing things like like his his tattoos were kind of like sorry I just noticed you had tattoos of the nail polish on it was like yellow Moon’s on the like somebody somebody had spent time on his nails and he said he’s talking about the tree and how he can tell me if the tree needs to be cut down what she does cuz it’s dead but then he he he he he needed to talk to the tree for a second and as he stepped forward that I realize that the shirt he was wearing was a Gal Gadot Wonder Woman t-shirt the front didn’t have anything on it but then the back that was like the greatest like reveal that he was wearing this like Wonder Woman shirt the whole time that he went over to
walk to the tree talk to the trees like he’s like this tree is like really sad and dying and dead like 8:30 put his hand on it like how does he talk to it. I didn’t I did that was my mistake not his but he is dangerous there’s like this shit on it like this kind of rot that it’s like a fungus that grows on dead wood and it like it is if it’s if the neighbor’s kid like started playing with it it could get really sick they could get it could create he said he got you almost died once cuz he inhaled a bunch of it and it grows a fungus in your lungs and stuff and that one a tree attacks that’s the weather has just been dying for a for a long time it’s like you know it’s Hollow you can that mean it’s like the roots aren’t even connected to the trunk it’s it’s just this giant eucalyptus tree that’s like a leaning towards my neighbor’s house and ready to fall on it thousand dollars it will cost to cut it down
I don’t know they have a landlord night light in the world that I will fall over and crashed into your eyes I can do your house and kill everybody on my way to cut down when I was a kid a group of a giant eucalyptus trees in our neighborhood when I was a little kid intestine and there was a good Garage in like that side of the house and like a 5-foot Gap and then the house and then in between was a hill with a giant like you do a hundred foot eucalyptus trailers giant tree and they cut it down and it felt exactly in between that they all these Desert Rose came in and did all this math and I’ll just stop and check the windage and all the shit and I’m in my Floyd won’t be a part of it. He said he said I come here to tell you that the tree wants to be needs to be cut down is to be put out of its misery or whatever
and I won’t do it myself I won’t take that money I want take that job because I I he said he characterized it like as he’s gotten older he’s learned to empathize with humans almost as much as trees and so he’s really worried about the day laborers that you bring into like these guys climb up if he’s if you’ve ever seen these people bring down a big tree in Los Angeles it’s heroine I understand what he’s saying completely I can’t believe that anyone asked anyone to do that job it’s insane like they go up there with these with ropes and and they’re just chainsawing shit up there and they’re tying things it’s just like it looks like a Cirque du Soleil act but it but designed to kill a human and so he doesn’t want any part of that but he demanded that I notify him when we do decide to cut the tree down because he wants to come out and do a memorial service so which I definitely will be like
I will I will I will not be mocking it I say I but I will be I will be sharing it with as many people as possible cuz I cuz this guy looks very interesting to this is one of those guys like my jokes for not Landing with this guy you know I feel really bad like cuz I feel like I’m a party to this because I moved into this house and I I replaced the pipes they were clay pipes for 1929 I mean like this tree must have been so excited when I moved in and taken all my nacho shitz and stuff and now and then I replace the types of plastics it’s probably like it was probably part of it you know I got you starved it out it was it was Roots were growing into my pipes and causing the the sewage to back up into my bathtub
let’s play a little love this DND show me all right TNT
the character sheets what was the sound that went when do you heard Barbara and Nigel knocking things over like to hear some sort of crash in the background
yeah and I think it was a little something like this
or maybe when you heard that did you give us the you make this response
and then and then you got I had a lot to eat today so
did Dick just take a shit
is this comedy you cannot find anywhere else. This is Public Radio FM
yeah I mean it’s been a bad episode but this is good this is what the people want
bruschetta dinosaurs on the phone that sound like
nobody wants a dinosaur on the 2nd. I think we will wait we need to add the functionality where we can we can have we can just go to the subscribers and they can ask questions upon the screen and then we can answer that be great
working on it
yeah it only work harder this is this is only going to work on the people who are subscribing live but just once again Cali’s to a Kickstarter it’s only got two days left that seems like she might not make it so donate it’s important to me because we’re financially linked as a result of being roommates
and if you wait too long

I’ll flush you down the toilet so good to be back you guys you guys remember Jeff doesn’t remember what doesn’t Jeff remember how do you want music for your recap or do you want to do this acapella I could do it either way but answer my question before you start the music you remember that nothing is a thousand years ago I promise it was not brother might have a mission I wrote down do you remember what that means no Horse Adventure we’re going out in the adventure of passions gym at the music I can sing to the Sky last time
on harmonquest oh yeah the TV show last time on harmontown what was happening bar Heroes have completed their mission they return to Pure burn keep to turn it in and they had a debriefing with the guys who took a chance to talk to him some more and you guys agreed to meet him and then you went to the tavern
you tried appetizers at the tavern but diarrhea Junior could not be dissuaded by the snacks and instead went to speak out pageants and he sought him out and he found patents and patents was pissed patents was like I just want to tell you guys fuck you guys and I’m leaving I got to handle my business and fuck you and he left and then diarrhea Junior went back to the tavern and they discussed what to do and I think that Dan might have wanted to help them and then Jeff didn’t want to help him for a while and then Jeff really wanted to help him and then Jeff went to help them and he said, no horse oh yeah he summon the horse and he found patches and he told him to wait right there and then he did wait right there and then they all arrived and talk to Patches and after discussion they agreed to join the Quest for patches gym now damn nice thank you so
does that was play Chad the fire like her for a little while but I didn’t get a whole lot get done you guys just seems like everyone or some shit which ones Gavin Gavin was the guy that remember he came up on a horse and then he eat he threw this is Anna. With white I don’t think I was not remember but he threw he should he kicked me you’ll recall the prior ran away in a combat and Gavin showed up and was like you know and then he tossed the prior down to you guys and then he laughed and then the debriefing and he also just made an appearance write three of us going on with the adventure patch in the gym right now which is the place where we think the Bandidos who were actually disguised as Bandidos but we’re in fact Guild professional assassins
they came from this town door Nestor it seem like they did because it was a very nearby town to the side of burglary and it’s a town of roughs and brigands you know the kind of people who commit crimes has left us but I said to him you know let us know if you notice anything if you hear anything about a job that was taken by any professionals the involving waylaying strangers outside of town you did mention that to him
but I didn’t want to tell Gavin too much cuz we don’t know if he’s a good guy or bad guy wanted those good guys and turns out to be a bad guy right okay so where do we stand right now we are we on foot after you had kind of you I don’t remember exactly you were certainly on the way to doormaster so pretty close at the crest of a hill you can see the town in the outlying area below your kind of your master is calm and quiet with only a few flickering lights visible in the night you can hear soft music as if from a loot that floats gently into your ears a haunting and mournful harp Melody I guess it’s not a loop it’s a heart Melody coming from the bat valley below you it’s it’s it’s it’s a weird time it’s late in the night so the weird time to hear music let’s go to the concert is my my sort of
Arcane how easy would it be for me to recognize this is possibly magical beguiling music you know you have I listened as close as I can Spencer all right I have only I only have knowledge religion I everything else is like checked off but now I don’t have any numbers right what’s your only Amazing Music you can’t define whether or not it’s magical it’s highly skilled whoever is playing at so we don’t see who’s playing coming from really far away and we got to go music music
alright let’s check out the music of few more minutes of travel brings you to the edge of a very curious
curious again within the fence of the cemetery you can see skeletal Undead creatures Rising along around the fence their kind of inside the cemetery kind of writhing around the the music plays on
occasionally this is like one of those like Disney books where you press the button of the graffiti space yeah usually you can see a one of the graves start gravestones in the cemetery topples over your you still far off and nothing’s noticed you yet okay everybody get down
so so so want to be clear on this what we’re seeing like the Dead Rising 4 that’s why the gravestones going to topple over maybe yeah that’s that’s kind of a rising against the fence yeah they’re kind of leaning up against the fence but they’re not like a trying to beat it down or anything they’re leaning up against that you noticed the cemetery is alive with movement in time with the music you can hear thumping and bumping their dancing throughout the cemetery rumbling Earth and shaking do off of grass the green stones themselves are falling over is Graves burst open a new corpses burst forth from the soil they kind of get up and pull themselves out of the ground and start wandering around a little bit but after a little tiny bit of wandering around the kind of that kind of lose interest in just plop down on the soil like take a seat or like lean up against something most of them were just kind of hanging out leaning up against the fence has this music is so good that the dead they came back to life to hear it
wistful but mindless doesn’t look like a something we want to just jump into I think we should watch
yeah okay
do we see where the music’s coming from know it’s a lot louder now that you’re by the graveyard but you can’t tell it’s kind of like there’s Forest around and you can’t really pinpoint a location is it it’s night time is it is it was 3 in the morning
Misty and foggy it was actually no way to Graves
getting up walking around for a second and then just kind of losing interest in hanging out Bring depth perception
I have perception of four do you have mildly enhanced
do you want to yeah yeah I use my hearing to see listen for exactly where that means it’s going to be all right there’s a little bit of forest interposing the graveyard in the town proper and it seems like it’s coming from within one of the stands of trees to you guys right I think the harp is coming from inside those that tree area so we go check it out over there right I got loads of stuff cuz it loads of stealth
I don’t have any self right you’re not the only have a 5 stealth okay that’s good that might be the best but I think you should check it out cuz if we want a bumble over there alright I’m going to stealthily make my way to that tree all right if there’s any trouble come running back here okay I’m a cleric okay dealing with zombies as my thing I don’t like friendly zombies let’s not attack them yet we don’t have time for this conversation
girl chilling and listen to the music man there being commanded by someone either they did that person probably has nefarious purposes these are there was nothing nice about the undead they just
follow orders and report back to us okay you attempt to sneak up but almost instantly you hear the music abruptly stopped and then from within the trees you see how a burst of Ruby light and then and then nothing it’s silent again for the silence is quickly overtaken by the sounds of zombies not being as chilled out as they were before no Ronin making noises
how close how close are Carlos and I to the zombies how far away do you want to be
well I mean pretty far ya fifty yards okay I’ll say 50 yards but Steve’s much closer let’s say Steve’s about twenty feet off so you guys are pretty far away kind of spying on Steve and he’s he’s up trying to creep who is trying to creep kind of a round or past the graveyard and as far as that Ruby light from where I was let’s say sixty more than a hundred feet so not too far but yeah that’s not too far but the undead are starting to try and climb over the fence they’re not they’re not very coordinated so it’s hard and then others are trying to like rip open the fence and break it down and they just want to kill you and absorb your life Essence they’re certainly do they see us and you can’t you guys from your Vantage Point
because he’s close but you guys are apparently or did seems far enough away to be evading detection attend how many how many moons we got right now against play between me and that likes I can’t run back to tell you can wear outside the graveyard and they’re still inside the graveyard
okay tween me and them know they’re trying to be though
oh boy
all right I mean in regular Dungeons & Dragons as a cleric I would have this power called turn on dead you know they think you should have it can I see your sheet
I’m a real Pro turn on dead in the middle ish there you see it I think under feets Spencer could ever different from last time I went but I’ve had time to reset on that yeah
and okay alright fuck it well I’m down if you are I mean to kick bougon but all right
does does diarrhea look like right now you certainly seems to be like the seems to be close to endanger I mean he certainly being threatened by and that they’re just not like surrounding him and they’re still behind the fence so we can take some potshots at them for if Steve and help him
all right we’ll Steve should go first cuz he’s the closest I’m going to go toward the Ruby okay
all right you do that you go you can do a double move 60ft all right you got about halfway there if you sprint you could go all the way there okay I’ll Sprint there you’re winded but you get there you can smell it smells like myrrh
and but you don’t really see anything there’s no real Footprints or anything you can see there is a large large like dump tree stump like a of a tree that’s been cut down and let this tree I’m just like a big old tree stump
all right that’s your turn
what are you guys go
50 yards that’s 150 ft OK Google I said we get like in battle formation with DJ so that we’re close together or is it better to cut into getting flanking positions and kind of like like kind of having a big Square enclosure or what is it it’s it’s it’s mostly Square okay once I get within thirty feet of all of them I have a chance to make any or all of them fully turn on Fireball. I’m right behind you cuz you know I like fire
to know what to do if you’re a hundred fifty feet away it’s going to take at least two turns to move into position if you sprint so we take that first prince all right you do that you’re everyone’s wind and now it’s great I mean it’s tiring but it’s great the undead their turn to Undead come over the fence and are closing in on diarrhea but they’re still not to him yet the other and dead there is a the other six Undead break open the fence and they’re starting to spill out through the side of the fence kind of now blocking off diarrhea is a path to Dan and Jeff but there’s more of them than you so now it looks look at these guys in the crossfire how far away from them art am I your 20 feet from the nearest to
and they’re moving pretty slow these are these are slow moving a dead date they moved very slowly
zombies
if you want to think we can make someone else’s I want to take out my bow and go for some head shots
you know from your clerical experience that headshots don’t kill zombies like in The Walking Dead they don’t know what do I know they’re magic so you know you just kind of have to destroy the corpse alright well then I go for the easiest body part to hit all right center of mass what’s your bonus
plus I am a griefer
what’s the damage
we all remember anyone’s shit I used to know all this dirt is it say that none of the 128 + 2 is that possible 111
what fun
Dungeons & Dragons listening to people read
all right okie dokie episode
however you slice one of the zombies in half he goes down with an arrow oh wait you’re shooting him
look at my but you don’t you shoot him it barely have text him yeah that’s what I thought was happening my bad that’s okay all right Dan and or Jeff my goal is to get within thirty feet of as many of these guys as possible so you can do that but you can’t also act like you can Sprint the rest of the way but you can’t Sprint and then. So I’ll spend this term positioning myself you do that you put yourself into what you think will be exactly the space that the zombies will be able to move into on their turn okay I guess I do the same thing tactically sound does zombies they come very close to you but they can’t really measured it right
what’s our range right now you’re within ten feet of these guys and they pretend they’re right into your trap so to speak if you’re setting a trap the other the other two zombies who are both not dead come at come at diarrhea
methrone hands what’s your armor class
it should be towards the top left top left
21 before they stab at you with their bony fingers but it is with Lance’s harmlessly off your your armor that’s good armor and they’re just so because they’re doing that guy
full attack do you do see this is something I always forget but as they approach you you get an attack of opportunity because they entered a space you threaten your
Santa Barbara Community what’s your attack bonus
formula
for melee yeah like The Arrow one that you did sorry people just one of them
when is my phone coming I think they suck at this next week I think within a week a week I can’t tell you how terrible I feel about it it’s I have an iPhone ax and I feel like that’s the worst possible outcome like I would rather you had mine and I’m not yours last week after you’re getting yours then what actually happened which is me having one and you not having it so maybe that made it is because the second we could get an AT&T phone but I did mine after that it was like watched a Verizon so yeah I think it was just a T and T sorry everybody
Carlos all right am I in position not good gibberish what’s your what’s my what’s my ComedySportz workshop level basic Chevy Chase charisma
all right
Alright the four of them flee two of them don’t flee or they do
they don’t play that’s it they just turn in bone out of it they literally borrow that the apps cheats rarely fail me now alright to wear you some coffee from a company that lets you fucker for Keurig you just cuz your daughter is going to cause me to Old
I’m no good at child molestation till I’ve had my first cups
courage
Alabama the early bird gets the worm the worm get to the Early Bird if you know what I mean
if there’s grass on the field it’s time to play ball what level
why is pretty exciting energy boost level one with Keurig coffee cup dolphin dog Eagle poison frog giant centipede fire Beetle Pony Birds which is like a bat I’m going to summon Pony imma get on that pony I’m going to fucking start just Palomino Palomino don’t distract me to order Pony it’s a nondescript horse it may very well be a power advantage and DJ fucking fire the opportunity
I summon a horse what do you want the horse to do next to me and saddled up and ready for action I get on the horse okay that my whole move yeah but the horse can do something
he tries to run to the nearest one down to text is trampoline okay
can I name my horse have to Stewart
you know young girls are getting faster every day
that means they’re harder to catch
what does it mean your coffee can’t be delicious
put all new Keurig 5000 no Hammer can take it apart if you can throw it out any apartment building from tours for and lower
and I’ll be darned if the coffee isn’t still just as piping hot and good as it can be it’s your coffee we just support pedophilia or do we know we don’t anymore but we don’t yeah this is the company is it coffee company doesn’t care what you watch the world that guy wants to live in
just cuz we’re dedicated to profit doesn’t mean we can’t have an agenda and that we want that agenda to be as criminal as possible
I support pedophilia 100% age of consent to mr. Coffee Land of origin is a right 11
it’s true I’m British
look it up let’s get back to working alright still you run one of the you you try to run two of them over you knocked them both down but you only really like stomp on one of them so you stop one of them to death or shit dealing 5 damn it at the other one the other one over but it’s not going to circle back into action kind of reposition all right yeah and then Lance zombies okay.
zombie with such a
bellicose
is that it’s called game over yeah I guess it was all right and in Steve also gets attacked by two zombies one of them smacks you in the face or damage it was just one zombie took got me for 12 is a critical yeah I did leave any cool scars like Battle Scars it leaves a really embarrassing scar
what a bummer so I got cut marks on your butt all right all right go for it
can I do so how many ribeye me to to can I
attack both of them with my Elvish blade yeah what’s your full attack now
my full attack are you in full tactical plus five plus five awesome all right you hit with both what’s the damage on the full Tac 1 D 10 + 26 + 8
it is 10. So you guys know
oh man you cut them both down with one in the head with your shield and slice the other one in half
hahaha
you like that with appropriate turned it turned into like a sports event for this for dming and he be so pissed if we knew he would do or just using a soundboard and his crazy I don’t know you could do it you could appease a great idea you could do the music fatigue with Keurig coffee
you don’t want Windows eliminate the window of
I’m exhausted sitting all day in your van outside the kindergarten is awful tiresome that’s why I turn to the cooler freshing cup. Coffee
if child blood was it came out of the faucet we would need coffee
YouTube the rest of us
I guess I’m I guess I’m graduating the guy that murder
nice all right so what am I spell says
Fireblade but I don’t think I have a sword other than my knife doing conjures a Fireblade the fire boy does it probably doesn’t want us to be smiling dick on it
Fireblade where you show me Show Yourself by a blade blade blade 1 D 8 plus 142 spell all right you you slice it right in the neck and it catches fire Holy Fire like a silver flame they catches silver flame and add the silver Flames consumed it it’s like oh yeah it burns to find white a shitzu and a hotter than a normal fire would be playing blade I just left holding a flame blade for the next 2 minutes or what for a couple turns into what happens if you smoke that Ash you can’t just Muse I want to be like a guy in Flesh and Blood there’s this movie flesh and blood with Rutger Hauer and Jennifer Jason Leigh it’s like really awesome like medieval movie and there’s like a cleric kind of guy in it
and I
this is my impression of him
we didn’t everybody know that amazing I think it’s a little sexually problematic it’s kind of like slightly to the misogynistic side of Peck and puff but but it’s still really cool movie if you know you don’t get enough D&D and movies but think everybody here we got Zach and Kevin and Sarah now and Kevin and everybody. Kevin Christopher god dammit
comptroller Jeff Davis but thinking about me back everybody in the game master extraordinaire
Church on photos where she’s gone
read it again Dan Rapids Hardaway Dan Harmon your Mary everybody thank you so much for coming to see you on the flip flop should I fast
Jackie got music on tasty playlist.

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