Episode: 274 – LIVE From SF Sketchfest 2018

Episode

Episode: 274 – LIVE From SF Sketchfest 2018

Description

Harmontown visits San Fransisco Sketchfest for a live show with stories about Dan’s grandpa, an interview with the developer of iBone, and more. Featuring Dan Harmon, Jeff Bryan Davis, Spencer Crittenden, Steve Levy, and Rob Schrab.

Transcript

how do I win the next album coming out
that’s a lot of my thing goes
Ferragamo
the world-famous San Francisco sketchfest are the memorial Marines Auditorium harmontown is now in session
donkey
give it up for your game after Spencer Crittenden
thank you thank you
don’t you look good
that’s great, thank you I’m sorry thank you I’m sorry thank you very sorry thank you master of apologies I’m so sorry it’s so good to be back here I love I love San Francisco obviously but more importantly we love the Marine Memorial Theater
Casino Hotel & waterpark in answer to my question
folks I’m sorry for everything it sounds good to me
but if I go like this it’s like a Richard Pryor joke where I’m like the street and you see the guy and he’s like what are you doing
okay I’ll sell seem that character for later but I just worried about the ghost of my grandfather who lied about his age to fight fascist and who is watching me my forty-fifth year of life with his arms folded a cigarette dangling from his lips like in it in a costume design by the Dunkirk creators and I just just going like what if wiener you ever going to get off your ass and stop these fucking Nazis like I was 16 I lied about my age for the privilege of storming Normandy and you joined an improv troupe be here at 8:30 are you are such a fucking shameful when when did he tell you when did he tell you that he lied about his age
what do you mean where what are you what are you doing the deposition in my fucking dead Grandpa
what the fuck where is this going you think he didn’t lie about his lying about what people want to hear about your lie that’s what we’re alleging I’m going to shut down harmontown until we get to the bottom of we can strike a deal and it goes I have a confession to make Danny I have a confession to make it I wasn’t 18 I wasn’t 18 I have a differential half-hour it was that his knowledge that was handed down from some backstory
anyways it’s good to be back in the Marines Memorial Theater if that’s what it’s called in San Francisco
you’re not greater if you stay at the hotel here which I have several times as lovely the people he regret the towels in there must have towels white these towels here but kind of like a little guns on them people. Kind of like Peach mavi like kind of baisey peach colored like at like you’re at your grandpa’s storming themselves
yeah they’re Marine towels they’re not from the balls of Montezuma we will dry your entire body we are Marine Memorial Hotel Marine testicle joke
yeah I by the way there’s no show tonight in awhile in a while so I don’t want you to be punished there’s probably more important stuff for you guys to be at and you paid money for ticket tonight this is I have nothing but yeah that’s what I thought that was the first thing I thought that way too many and what the what in the box is the bottom row God knows what the balcony looks like
how’s my balcony doing yeah
everybody move over Wednesday
all right I got I got I got I got we have a great show for you tonight
proven proven
I think we have a hectare in the front row then
just ignore.
I do have one
Carrabba’s Pedic back
Babs I go ahead go ahead
go ahead I’m sorry go ahead
transfer for people who are going to be listing this is an audio package why is that tiny microphone size zipper even there
exclusively designed for him to do that
Rob schrab showed up or two weeks ago to totally out of this entire theater with audio equipment jokes
they said somebody shut off my how did you not know that wasn’t going to make a horrible ear piercing screams that would make everybody but I was hoping it would
yeah that could have been a nightmare
your your your whole your piercing is is my is my dear your whole life and back
it’s like asking Ed Gein how did you know your mom’s head wouldn’t start talking to you when you place it at the foot of your bed all right all right
too soon and ordered to Regional I’m from Wisconsin
wow let’s spend the next twenty minutes recovering from that of all the metaphors I could have used I’m so sorry I don’t think it was temporal or Regional I think it was what I thought I thought they were on my side for one second but I have I have one I got one thing in my bear Notes app bear notes is interesting it’s tag tag cloud-based you should check it out it’s a Notes app for bigger homosexual tonight
why does bats fly here
and my
win for losing I made a joke that should have only offended Robert Young people from Plainfield Wisconsin
stop tapping the microphone what is he doing he wants you to say hello I don’t know why you did either
you’re like you want to go I’m okay sure you know what’s going to happen because you seem sad and I wanted to make you happy I didn’t know making you happy with make me sad that’s not fair what are The Green Mile guy I’m just sucking up your sadness and then I’m going to
from a movie from 20 years ago
play Everything I Do I accept it I am sorry I am the master of Apollo I want to hear it we all want to hear what’s on your California hair at 151 Airline grievance left
everyone on the floor that listen to podcast knows I have a fly around I have a millionaire line grievances are terrible I’m not going to waste your time with that you know your San franciscans your leftists your socialist you know airlines are a cartel you know they’re garbage people
cheap bike with a zoom in on the one who died on the food
you’re about this airline food
it’s not airline food
why do they call an airline
when they virgin clearly
Virgin Atlantic Virgin America whatever the fuck now it’s a subsidiary of Alaska Alaska subsidiary of Kleenex I don’t know
they have their they’re very groovy I applauded I know where this is going
when you compared to every other airline to try to make their soup
I hate that I don’t like it I like it I did it already
what is 000 blank 1%
that’s what I’m talking about the one part stay in your seat you’re getting up and dancing don’t get ahead of Dance 2000 1%
really
here’s my problem this is a comedy writer
break that down take a scalpel cut it in half this is what we call a stock Barrel in comedy rooms like she could have said to the point 0 0 1% of you that have never operated a seatbelt and then continued and it might have been funny
also she could have said to the to those of you that have never operated the seatbelt
really and it might have been funny saying to the point 0 0 where 1% of you that have never happened to seapot in Sibley you’re asking the audience to lean in with the point 0 0 1% of their heart
that is naturally predisposed to identify with the underdog
whether these people know it or not you’re leaning in and then she kicks you in the nuts really and you’re like my nuts were breached
Hannah hat look it up all right now dead ostensibly because maybe they treated their customers while I don’t know like I used to enjoy traveling by virgin a JetBlue is now property of Clorox I don’t know doesn’t matter you guys are you like fast travel
stagecraft you guys complex 22246 you’ve only heard that song In First Class will you don’t get to see the video that goes along with it I need to see her picture of a squirrel right now on the cartoon version of Illusions you’re saying that to each other but you only heard that from your cosseted bulshit rich
Tony NBC
cable. What do you want now I don’t know I don’t know either down into a ditch or so privileged you know how hard it is to be privileged
have you ever stopped to think about it oh I wonder what it’s like to be privileged
think about it hashtag me
all right well that that that that should conclude the US portion of the show hello
you guys live at the epicenter of hating Mash dash for Manor ribbon
year were the hippie thing started in the 1960s or something the first bra was burnt at the at the corner of two blocks on 203 North hate hate hate and the corner of Ashbury North and he’s always had a weird relationship is like a counterculture and then it’s like such a nice place to live at the yuppies move in and they overtake and I was shit and like most recently of Silicon Valley okay Jesus Christ all these people his computer programmers some of them are here Among Us person’s apartment how much how much money can I pay for it for a test drive them out with money and it’s not their money but they’re just being shoved out by money and we don’t know where they go Oakland I don’t know a guy
Oakland
giving up her Oakland but then
what’s the lucky number is 911 the intersection between those those roads like the smart people whose buses you you visigoth block and you’re going like your bus will not passed and and the people inside those buses going I look I came here from Thailand I don’t know what’s going on with Innovation and and the human Spirit and the individual Triumph
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and blackston amount each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little t and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film earth like a verb you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
I want to tell you the story I thought you were telling you about.
I think it was once upon a time there was a man and I I know that already makes it through less marketable
but that’s the truth there was a man who was a trumpet and Susie asked and he brass enthusiasts which
Needham by default the trumpet Enthusiast right you can interrupt anytime you want it’s fine I’m not always a fine
this is my finest is that okay is it alright
anytime
I don’t think he was talking to me Jane Goodall what do I look like I feel like I’m trying to just get everyone to have tea with me and then I’ll then I’ll be like starting me up I thought you were setting me up once upon a time there was a guy
who is such a brass Enthusiast that he’s like I want to share my brass enthusiasm with the world and this new technology comes along you can make any and he goes you know what I’m going to I want everyone to learn the glory of the trumpet and I’m going to make a nap and I’m going to call it I Trump
because I trumpet is too long
and then a guy started suing him in 2011 named Donald Trump
and a long story short but let’s hear the rest of the story this man Donald Trump spent a total of something like half a decade trying to intimidate and Sue this guy and did not exist it’s just trying to get him to stop calling his app about trumpets by Trump this guy represented himself in court and beat him
please welcome Tom sharples yeah
the San Francisco spirit in Baden
you know me or was that like weird
can we can we help you out give me lower your stool
I’m getting your story sloppy
it’s intimidating how to say my favorite part of it is that you’re not
you’re not who’s the who’s the most you’re not Herb Alpert that’s a famous trumpet guy right
that you were you’re not like I’m the best trumpet player in the world you love like you
I’ve called a bone for trombone
so try me you’re laughing but serious I mean I’m not laughing but they also applied cuz I don’t play an instrument trombone player for the record and I don’t plan pretty much my whole life and but Miles Davis one of my big idols and I and so Herb Alpert of trumpet players I like Herb Alpert as well as the original question
Insidious actors sorry I’m being a petty vandalism and I’m angry go ahead you will learn to talk about that you had an aibo nap time right now I’m not being aloof I’m pulling up your app in experiment that was something that I knew because I’ve been playing trouble in my whole life and I launch and I worked on it for a few months and got it out is it back in 2009 launched and it was it was a success success and I got some good feedback and then and then I got to work on a trumpet pretty much right away and you do a lot of work designing it trying to get the interface right besides trying to make something playable and intuitive for real players here’s something you can actually uses of practice to and learn from the trombone was your favorite thing to eat is like you is you felt like you nailed it did you like I’m going to move on to the other instrument
right so then something comes in the mail yes sir pretty much I launched it maybe I can provide some soundtrack for this story
yeah so launched in January 2011
is beautiful you go see this thing I’m providing that soundtrack with this amazing $2 app yeah it’s not a real trumpet
affordable compared to the price of fascism
sorry continue do I launch it at The NAMM Show I don’t know if you know The NAMM Show it’s a big music merchandising show in Anaheim and we all we’re all very familiar with is the biggest trade show in Anaheim but 80,000 people or something anyway and then 2 weeks later I got a cease-and-desist letter from Donald Trump and well
I got the letter all right so you get the letter it says stop stop calling you’re a pi Trump right so my boss lawyer from Dewey cheatem & Howe and I stopped calling it a night Trump is the big big Buster inside okay so you read that letter right and he claimed compute he had some computer games and he claimed that he had computer and iPhone apps and he claimed that he that I was training off of Goodwill that he had generated he know that you are riding on the back of the popularity of Donald Trump in 2011 with your crap about Trump
he claimed it was known as a horn and not a trump and and so anyway I
there are not too busy of brass anyway so I got the letter and I honestly thought it was it felt like some kind of felt like April fools or something so I actually I saw it on my phone and I lay down on my bed and pull the computer up just you know to take some time to read it and then the first thing I did was to actually go to the the lawyer lawyers webpage to make sure it was a legitimate like a real firm you know right I was really just more shocked right I mean you know it just didn’t seem real
at this point I just want to interject how is your is your eye bone money like keeping you afloat like are you get a sense of like are you in a one-bedroom apartment of 2 bedroom apartment are you are you married are you a trust fund the guy are you you know when we want to feel your protagonist when I was 29 30 and I’d save that money you know before and then I started working on some different projects we didn’t make a lot of money I’ve only made you know some money you know and but it’s volatile you know it doesn’t just last you have to continue to develop into a promoter in a war chest that you could go into living out of Worcester here is sitting going to work at you but I really believe in my products and I really have
but fucking brass instruments which is the opposite of Donald Trump and he’s not passionate about anything that I haven’t been that passionate about and when I started working on projects that I was passionate about it was like you know something amazing products you weren’t passionate about
you don’t want to hear about it I mean maybe we mean by salad just one or two iPhone was at a service call Wolfe tones and I love you for a while but then the meaning wasn’t there you know the product and play sound effects during the phone call and I like that maybe I could get soundboard hey man did you want to hang out and then press it exactly
I got you a slogan of the company press one to fight right
you are from 2005 that was lost and it’s these are 2005 stand but are you picking up the emotional and the fact that you are the hero that we should always want
but I we can play scenes to Yellow backgrounds it would Loop so you can create the impression you’re elsewhere you do that to her like so you could do like a foggy Harbor in London and I can’t make it to work I am I ship it is Pat Paddington is lost but I’ve heard it’s in there that’s why it’s one of them but anyway I just really didn’t get anywhere and it’s always hard to lose the passion for it and you know part of it was the meaning for me wasn’t there you know it wasn’t something I could go back to my childhood and latch on to you know what the trombone why won’t you play when you’re in
could do something for those kids or the ex-player’s that are you know what the seniors and whatever I’m deprived of Music budgets and there’s still the only was there an is there a market I didn’t know but but it was it was an experiment you know this is a way to learn how to build an app was my first app and a book because I knew I knew I knew what the trombone what I knew how it would sign it immediately it was just about trying to figure out how to build the app you know but when I start to get good feedback you know I just kept on going so that you didn’t make you a billionaire it but give you an emotional cute that you’re like I should keep following this path of bliss yeah but I am going to now. I could see if maybe not billions but maybe Millions is seriously but at any rate you like your job and sided with your fulfillment and you’re like right
I’m Trump I will be I Trump I’m going to be I trouble and then so then here’s the part where you become a god
because you don’t go oh shit. Trump is suing me I’ll just do the eye flute
you represent yourself and just go through this process that takes forever and the whole time I’m not I don’t want to put words in your mouth like a year you had to go through this whole thing you did was ever you in court next to him it was just people and probably mostly paperwork right on process in the united kind of took it step-by-step and I didn’t really know what I was getting into but you know when it starts with something that’s ridiculous and me and that’s what it seemed like to me if somebody there that’s mine
write him he himself you know it’s like you’re on the street New York and he comes out and Bruce Wayne and your parents are coming out of the Opera house and then a fucking dude that’s even richer than them is like crack and throat that real people felt like that that feeling persisted right for years and answer anyway you know I can I check it out you know I asked him where is it you know what they thought about it just to let you know for reality check if I knew a little bit because I got in trademarks to the office but I got a reality check and and
but I have a quick question did so when you were developing I Trump did any point in your mind where you like going that’s kind of sounds like Donald Trump guy like we did it did it ever cross your mind and you got it because this was a birther conspiracy guy that letter was so you know and there is another threshold you cross this is what’s important is that you you defeat this and you do it representing yourself they got their lawyers they’re hoping you’re going to get scared go bankrupt you stick to it you reach a point where you have the right to do your thing but then you like every hero
okay so the litigation started the following year as I continue to use the app and continue to sell it and everything and and until the litigation you know that was I was going to try to use a lawyer for that but but that fell through like the day before my my aunt
I won’t get into nine hookers nine Russian hookers fell on him from the top of a shity building I don’t know I don’t know what it was at rainbows with bad guy with a place before the answer was do that that it didn’t spell through shots I go and I myself and I do it myself for that and then that was Ito just step by step after that next Thursday at settlement you know Discovery conference we have to talk to the lawyers that didn’t go too well and in any kind of threatened beat you know threatened me with her you know they said I would have to come through them
and I’m at the point that really kind of made me more determined to continue so that continued for for the next year or two maybe it was about two years after that and they were stonewalling throughout the whole. And and and so I had to go to the board motion to compel emails back and forth trying to work through a legal argument then filed a motion, demanding that they turn over the information the board cited with me and require them to turn over a lot of information cuz I’m trying to give them to turn over information related to that would support the facts in Pacific Heights
shot in San Francisco because you’re like stuff. So anyway the board sided with me and enforce them told him they were going to turn over you know certain information and ultimately they didn’t want to do it so they withdrew and I have but I’d counterclaim and then you’re like why you withdrawing
right I wish I was like that I was like that one girlfriend cuz his dance planing I’m sorry I did well I think I coined that yeah I was part of that I thought was dead and they have no claims to begin with Ray this was just about draining me and disrupting my my little business and but it was also appear that they were trying to protect some of their own trademarks we would cherish it and I only learned about it during the course of the preceding over that that two year. What is g e d mean in the trademark World in this case one of your fraudulently maintained meaning

decorations that they filed was false and that they knew it was false and that they defiled it anyway right in order to me to eat to gain this right of incontestability so the legal basis for the trademark is what was shady right we had a half dozen things called Trump we got Trump perfume Trump wastebaskets trump thing and then one of them was like no you down Trump alarm clock Trump fire hydrants hello Ron Rob I bet you’re just a little more of those
someone keep count
Trump dog one Trump frogs to Trump yours Trump floors Trump state
Trump versus Trump fences Trump balloon fasters Trump window pictures from numbers Trump
wait. What
from Pat’s 13 kind of like a trump
zoos 14 he can’t he can’t
but you know Trump is started his entire trade more profolio against me seriously and Tire in 120 registrations and the board asked him to clarify which one are you actually which ones are you actually going to rely on this proceeding and he picks steaks among a few others after him you got the one after his and you avoided the dragon and then as the dragon flew away you grabbed it by the tail and you ate the ass of the Dragon that’s my goal. That kind of eating is that Google has struggled more importantly by his app I want him to be a billionaire by the end of 2018 whether you whether you care about the trumpet or not can I can I can I can I put you and idea cuz people think the tuba is a big one that carry around people do things
that’s a sousaphone how about do a sousaphone app and call it the iPhone
easy peasy what do they call the the Trump the tuba if it’s not that well there’s a stand up to our like a sit-down to and then there’s the marching tuba which is a sousaphone why don’t you just say that because of the sousaphone and not a tell us about eating the dragon’s ass
weather the app by the way I took a dragon is it a simulated trumpet which is already worth $2 like it also has like a karaoke mode where you can someone expressed incredulity there like a simulated Trump refers to what
I’m heading for a heading here anyting but they sat out there.
But wait there’s also a jokey mode where you can
that’s good good
it’s already better than the first year of presidency
I would vote for the
yeah yeah yeah
Prospect drunk zarathustra
is there
what time can you can you can you show us a little late is there a way it will can you can you play better than me cuz you invented it I mean kitty I would you be able to play it to a beat is what we’re wondering
I like acapella like this just you wait wait what do you say
hope you hear that
my way. We don’t really know that could be one button
all right oh yeah yeah yeah that’s it yeah yeah yeah yeah
it’s compulsory
Yelp
time to put the speaker and the mic yeah yo
we should have really had a tech rehearsal for this one. Can you pump that one up a bit
okay yeah
yeah yeah
San Francisco yeah yeah yeah
ffo Yelp Yeah Yeah Yeahs to the fo yo B area yo spraying areas
area area better than Bavaria brass is an instrument of choice it’s better than your mom has put his voice I’m going to blow it until it to SoundCloud I thought your Mama tell her when the clouds Silicon Valley, I didn’t got in there and work hard I thought your mama was across the yard and which of the bushes and into the shrubs I fuck your mama my name is Nubs
nice to meet you my name is no
and the senior enough about me
let me start rapping
what day I wanted some food because I was in a food eating food I went to the store and I ate some food and then I wanted some more but I didn’t have money so I had to steal it and then your mama was there and her pussy didn’t feel like that
MC Naveed
for those of you listening they’re not that are not reacting to my to vanilla tea they are reacting to Jeff’s reaction to my Do Vanilla day alright they just want to be left alone why you going to try to come on our trombones and I’ll let you know if it’s in our brass instruments I thought your mom was so hard she needed an after-dinner mint
yes it should be less impressive to you but you know what you paid money for your ticket so I won’t tell you you have bad taste Alcatraz visit it suck your mama your mama
a b c d f
trumpets are the best instrument he did that after dinner mint okay
I’m so sorry about what you said about me on Twitter
still bitter
I don’t get you only want your approval for this fine however I can get it is fine here we go here we go putting the shoe what your mom is so hard my dick turn the glue used it and he left where is the city your foot looks like a kid I want to be with you I
glue
how you feeling time you usually like you let you going to do a good he’s tired. Just get it will work in the crowd will work the crowds information at 2
hurricane Irma crowd what’s your name Brandon Brandon her stomach
Chris
better name piece of shit what’s your name
what’s what’s it what’s your name Jamie Jamie Jamie receipts and working too hard Harmon what’s your name Michael Michael and what what do you fear more than spiders Dan Harmon you fears Dan Harmon
all right well give me more than that then because do you understand
Running With Scissors Dan Harmon at night
okay all right okay yeah yo Michael cut his tongue and run around the block I want to be good don’t want to wrap Goods in the San Francisco’s really do want to be with them I want to make them like me but I can’t do it with my friend Mikey because half is shit with a hat on a hat I want to fuck your mama hard what you think about that got a hip hop Spirit I’m going with the flow in the fuck your mama told like an Eskimo and Beauty AIDS tests to do we need more we would not have enough gender balance in these abuses what’s your name
Chelsea Chelsea okay moving on because we’re all unemployed and never undefended by that what do you want to do
how will you know when you’re finished who is that you truly hate in your deepest of hearts that you you wouldn’t even care if I died
what’s Rodger okay
Kelsey cook
she said she doesn’t care everybody’s got drama in there and I got we got to get beyond our shit and I’m going to be getting with it going to be working really it’s it’s
1/8 it tried it try to trap me
phone speaker check
wait wait wait by the strap microphone speakers out but then I said give me
Bo Brianna gets up then she said what are you going to give me some so I gave her a
I like that
I like that one
do you want me to give you some stairs now I can make it I can make stairs would you like some stairs
you have anything here’s the thing do you have anything it’s not a hip hop related like a song is there a song like something was more of it like I could sing more of a jingle
it’s very important that I make it worse this town’s time
they have welcomed me back from the dead
oh he’s not done giving that app
available there wasn’t a real trumpet $2 fans of the show will dig and we’ve got I think this might be worth a try I have an idea what this might be in case anyone was curious
I was right reaction
scalp micro velos world is a world of cameras at come on we can’t I can’t rap we’ve already established that
if we only had a spotlight for your ass
Dan has literally turned his back on me in the spotlight on his ass or the back of his head or the small of his back
talking about making it worth it for the audience
something that is obviously my flow is off I just need maybe I think I could maybe I could sing tonight
but doesn’t that would be rapping
I’m sorry I didn’t mean to lash out at you Kevin
I love your kite rental
the Swindell lyrics version or the karaoke version lyrics
All right well I did it and you know what we’ll do something else
you haven’t looked at yet
doesn’t it look what’s the what’s the weather
need do you need some help
this is how easy it is
I feel like Mary Lou Henner
Marilu Henner reference Marilu Henner reference ended a Mary Lou Harris reference the Mary Lou
who is Ricky reference
could you reference tonight
San Francisco is down it’ll turn you upside down with your social norms will be flipped backwards and you love it
and you’ll go to college here and you’ll have a micro beer but you’ll make an app or two and maybe you’ll get to live in an apartment for
2 million dollars a month
and have a special bus come pick you up everyday that’s above the law because the singularity them away and it takes you to the hills and you go to what campus will you take special pills and you work on ways to make robots better and well everyone else down the hill eat sweaters
Saint Francis High School where will you go when the hippies have died in the yellow piece of dried up and only thing left is robots hanging out at Vesuvio doing shots of Patron you know
do they call it a I but you know how about a guy who what why you making us absolutely we have miles in feet and we can still play horns
can turtles have corn
you can’t make Skynet feel that right now that’s important
but I guess we don’t care cuz
Singularity is almost here and we are kind of hoping that we can all die cuz
hear the music you’re know why there’s a group chat so you don’t hurt yourself if you’re feeling depressed
hotels talk to somebody that’s not real I’m doing a character
if you’re feeling depressed remember where we’re going to be fine
don’t I know it seems like everyday but
don’t kill yourself yet like just give it a couple more months
that’s what a computer would do a computer wouldn’t do what you feel like doing it would wait it would be strategic and say I’m going to hang out and see if there’s a reason to live so I can win this game and we might be able to
oh oh wait wait them out maybe computers will just shut down of their own accord
like the government
give me ice cream for 299 I’m going to happen to her
all right
JumpStart game
that’s it that’s our that’s our awkward ways we were saying we want you to leave
we didn’t
he’s an American hero on app and I bone you know who else is here out how about this guy I’m 45 years old and I’m dating a 32 year old
and she’s she’s very attractive and very talented and so Rick and Morty fans sometimes
oh yeah we’ll get her by 2 basically there. I think they’re trying to hurt her feelings by letting her know that she obviously is so hot that I must be paying her to fuck me
this is what it says is true
this is a caption under this is what she gets one of these about once a week that moment when you have to decide between being a women’s rights activists or do you humanize in your gender by sucking a girls old man’s dick so you can have shiny possessions as you choose both
do you know I didn’t have any shiny possessions they didn’t spit this out in one but he when he got home a hashtag prostitution with extra steps and end keeps keep telling her because that’s a reference to Rick and Morty that hehe I will appreciate that. Meanwhile like you are you and I didn’t go cuz I was traveling I don’t know what you were up to but I’m not trying to be just a corny pandering you know dude but like the fucking woman’s March the other day was a fucking cool thing in the world and I did you get anybody Mark’s chair that you guys go to the highwomen I was there it was here yeah that’s so fucking read the pictures make you want to cry I have just joyous the only have the only hopeful happy thing I’ve ever seen in my life
your mama’s video the era has come to an end but the era of wrapping it up here
times up for your abs
yeah we tried it we’ve Dad tried to 170 and see if we can because right now
do a dilf
Del frappe
I just like all these guys they try to take a poke at my girlfriend and all the other the way that they do it is by telling her that she’s clearly too hot to be dating such a fat disgusting monster and I’m always like I’m sorry you’re going through that baby
she’s probably kind of stoked

like that’s the insult clearly he bought you you’re too hot for him
she’s like a couch
more over here
feel like church my girlfriend she posted some awesome photos from the march in LA and she instantly lost followers that liked that were clearly people that followed her because you took a picture of Marilyn Manson and then she took a feminist photos up in all these followers drop away she’s like good fuck those people
yeah
and we have no one could follow anyone
play no one should be allowed to see the posts I’m making it’s not for them they should have to do something so that when they complain or call you a name that there an asshole like I always look at when I block people I always like send them a photo of their profile cuz invariably they’re following me and I circled the following you and I go they can fuck you bitch you fucking follow me this isn’t this wasn’t me I didn’t want any of this to happen I’ve never heard of you I never I never if I had a choice. You wouldn’t see any of this
I untie you I work out on Instagram and then you could leave the comments are like they just said it’s just every every every 8th one is like this person literally stopped working out yeah well I stopped working out I’m jealous fat fat you’re so fat
I know that I’m working out I’m not trying to convince you I’m saying I’m trying to get thin it takes time I’m a nurse assistant recorded fat fatee fat you have big tits you’re fat you’re fat and gross and I like I look at it afterwards I go to hear what why would you what is your what do you want you want someone to go God damn it I am fat I should stop working out that doesn’t make any sense
if I if I interviewed myself eating a cookie
Vanderbilt fat you know okay
maybe this person is like my Jiminy Cricket and I don’t like they’re trying to get through to me and then there’s other people that are like well-intended hey you know you can work out as much as you want but if you don’t stop drinking you’re still going to die
yeah but later right
a little later why would you focus on that part but I’m not sure why why are you being so mean I don’t know being so mean. If only if only I had the privilege of appearing before 300 people using my wounds and having them cheer for
I’m not like I said this is this is my Lenny Bruce face when I’m reading the court transcripts and everyone’s like he stopped being as funny as he was in the old harmontown shows where he would come out and what rap about farting it’s the same thing I think what we’re where we
DND
my friend Steve Levy Sherry Steve Levy
uh-oh
Spanish
I’ll hit about so you have to get up
what you got your leaving
I wasn’t going to get up
what’s up lady hey
what did you think about how the show went is going great that’s what you would say no matter what that’s not sure
there’s a there’s a version of the show where you’d come out and I’d say had the Shogun you go I don’t think it’s going to be just said that’s not true sight gag but that’s definitely true
really you’d ever say that you’d be like now wouldn’t we know him well enough to know that all right Spencer how’s the show going it’s fine I think I’m doing great I don’t think that crap likes you very much
I have a question yeah can you hide the microphone with your beard
scuse me sir are you recording this conversation okay I don’t want anyone listening in on this conversation will be no 1 Beard all right
Spencer how are you feeling you tweeted some dark shit I’m great never better you out you also tweeted then a follow-up saying look I fucking I’m not feeling any different I’m just starting to tweet how I actually feel yeah I’m sick of other people getting credit for misery when I’m not getting credit for my stoicism
who are the people that are getting credit for their misery I don’t know I mean I do but
but but he flew you out here no way now you’re not at your misery that’s I think they celebrate your misery but not in that way
because people hate this guy not you guys but yeah people hate you right sure they don’t even want to admit it I don’t hate it all the way to the bank
Das big podcast dollars Bitcoin baby gen-6 has Bitcoin here on the podcast speak
what the TV recap
is anybody in San Francisco Feel Like Tonight Show wasn’t worth the ticket price I do
shows not over yet they’re the only people to see us why ever didn’t like Spike Spencer not being in the happiest as you don’t seem like you’re in the happiest place right now. Who is what who is happy right now we’d beat them up and we’d beat them up
how can you not be happy with this guy sitting right next to you and they all love you and all these people came and paid good money either they
get it get it get it get it
are you going to point in red at Texas directional
I want to see to get a directional mic it where they went down and I got up I’m done with dick jokes
wow just kidding
the Auntie shrubs
I’m just kidding for a whole year I wrote a pretty good that I’ve never heard a dick joke
I told Dan my the joke that I wrote the other day I think was yesterday a pretty proud of his joke what aquatic animal hates Cable News television the most
there’s a Sienna me a perfectly written perfectly crafted perfectly told joke
and I guessed it but you are the only problem we have
yeah they got week adrift last news in Belmont
find me a Fox News CNN Selmon go into the White House Press Room okay the present president comes out and said the press secretary comes out and has terrible posture and says we we we we we we we are now going to answer your questions Fox News says what’s what’s why is the president so great
it’s been press secretary says cuz cuz he was born that way CNN says what’s going on with Oprah in 2020 and the horribly pastured weird Chiropractic anomaly press secretary says
in her hillbilly voice I know we’re not we’re not interested in that because by the time that comes around we will have taken over in a fastest way so the next question Belmont says
says who farted what are voting is powerful why is it legal illegal every day and it was one of the big things that contributed to the election
that’s her Belmont
how do I send it it but I had a dream that maybe some of you and if you ever look at my choice and I hope you down I had a dream I woke up in the middle of the night that’s my girlfriend dreamt this joke rolled over and wrote it down cuz I never do I got it I’m too lazy to even reach over and have a sip of water does an old-timey 1930s like Edward G Robinson as a gangster threatened a jellyfish
you see through
I dreamt it I just saw my subconscious my subconscious is a terrible terrible joke writer
Leslie G & D
last time on Harmon time our heroes were on the Quest for patching the gym after doing fact-finding they finally made their way to a Tavern where they’re perp was said to be an upon interrogating people at the tavern they discovered that there would be perp was in the bathroom would be pooping
they took their positions to jump the guy as he came out of the bathroom and then we’re told that that seemed like a bad idea because they were Strangers In a Strange Land and ready to start shit with someone who wasn’t but they did anyway shoving the guy into the bathroom they all run trust in to attack him but then the angry mob of the tavern was in there then punching in the darkness you got punched in the butt and drop through rocks no diarrhea Junior threw rocks hit a Jeff in the I eventually pushed him out of the window and then they had a brief moment of Peace where they stab that would be perfect no he actually was the real purpose that point they stabbed him a couple times and tried to just tell him stuff and then they just did that so long that the angry mob that just escaped him just come back
Amanda how would you like your ribs
now
when they are like a bear thrown in the bathroom and a bear a bear in the bathroom I’m pretty sure she’s just supporting Michelle I agree so we’re all in the alley holding Rose Trove yeah right
and you think that’s very funny we have a mark of his all these people around us yeah they’re angry mob mob can is rounding the corner and so are we are we cornered are we do we have a way out of this alley way it’s kind of like the backyard area of a bunch of the storefronts it’s just kind of like a few Street anymore of those like flower smells and I can I can Dazzle the shit out of this guy can flare on Micah’s cast a fireball what do you what do you want to do know we need to take him with us they have questions
Auto gentle way of putting it. We have the town wall and then buildings yeah but that I’d say there’s about 20 feet of like Alleyway it’s not like a super narrow alley or any how tall are the buildings the buildings let’s put them at twenty feet the taverns of about 20 ft off the walls about 15 ft okay that’s yeah why don’t you do like a distraction spell and I’ll throw my rope onto I guess you like you want to climb up to the top of a house where there’s wall
not that we have time to talk about it but ninja doesn’t like throw it down a cloud of smoke and then have eight people climb a rope to smoke will clear and then they’ll be like at 6 dude I think is right in front of us say again which spell flare yeah you can handle that so what affects one person only one person fight or flight response to it so sorry you have already cast produce flame such that you were holding two Fireballs until such time as you dismiss them okay
where you from
Robert Robinson
all right they both said they both go wide maybe it’s the the the tumbling up across the ground or whatever but they just kind of criss cross in front of the angry mob lighting a trail of fires because they do sell crowd of people with two fire
videos of time nor the place to fucking get no snow outside
I’m not going to chase you through fire why don’t we move out of range do you want to go how many people do we know you can see six rounded the corner I’m not going through I might go through our goal is to get shrove out of here so not all but not large it’s like a small walled town so like unless you like find a hiding space or like exit the game is to find out what to do what what how do you how do you want to how do you want to do it
figure pardon mr. yeah I know I mean I will I will check my character sheet and tell us where patches gem is or where we can find out or we’ll start kicking a bunch of shrove I thought you’re holding sure of don’t forget special abilities your handwriting solar flare! Does perfect I didn’t even see the right tool for the job
you didn’t blind all within 20 feet for one died for Route does that blind us as well will you guys see it coming and you’ve worked with them before I doubt it as you do your whole body is consumed by glowing light light of the silver flame Hellyeah it blasts down in all directions like a solar flare right that’s what what’s what’s
oh God oh God we take off running in the opposite direction as the village I hear footsteps
where no one will find us so we can beat the fuck out of him
you see shambling now
what the fuck what is Lizzy like the Twilight Zone kid sending us to the cornfields somehow, shambling through with like a singing the pill something like that
Samurai Champloo
how to get to 1 mccampbell in my own I want you when I saw a bright light in you guys going to come in through my shampoo and shampoo and mouth thank you thank you thank you I give the shambling mound one gold piece
thank you very much sir thank you very much I put I put my shambling hat in front of the sharping the number of a agent at CAA you thank you very much so where you guys going
we’re trying to find a safe place to hide so we can take this prisoner and why don’t you come over my place take my shamblin hand
Center Champlin down with me you guys do it’s a shambling mound what is it is much as I am currently
alright Rob what’s your motive
I’m only questions mama
the name of the episode Robert what’s your most alright if you take a shambling mound and he leads you through Alleyways it cuts through a main Market Street and he takes you into a pig farm
Philip
all my friends say hi to people on the way he just needs to prove that he has friends he’s talking to people that aren’t people
what are they they’re shambling Mound contacts
can we keep following and yeah so you make it to a pig farm it’s on the complete other side of town you can see it seems like there’s a crack in this wall That’s not big enough for people or whatever but like it’s covered in shambling Mound residue
it’s a it’s a it’s a crack in the wall like a wall of the law so yeah you’re kind of still in the perimeter of a town in this muddy Troke don’t follow you through the family home how long you going to be gone in shambles
scuse me well I already floated that how long do you think you’re going to be down I just got to go to the front and ET what is destroying okay.
Joe chewey ditch him
him
buy him a cross black holes
all right I’m not looking at in the mouth is it a plot hole wow you really did go right when you come in
put some dirt on the floor
from your feet OK Google dirty shoes by the dryer that we should put on regular shoes come on in
I heard I heard Spencer pitch Gary shambling Gary shambling Gary shambling
we crossed into Gary shambling world it’s not a world records that like forms a kind of a blind to the rest of the city it’s just like a pile of in front of this wall through through is it a safe place for us to interrogate Trove cross this threshold
always means we should be very sad and remember everything is a real Downer thank you
Wii crash of the wreckage of that last 10 seconds
10 second
he gets it what’s up you’re in a pig farm such that you’re being blocked by the narrow wreckage of a piece of wall that’s near that crack I mentioned in that wall I want shrove heathered like like I want him I want his pockets I want him stripped and tied
thank you ladies I just want to say I think I think show is an innocent bystander I look I got the magnifying glass I’m let down the detective here and I think that this guy you just got to keep working fusing in for someone in his theater troupe
who left behind that caught that that that wardrobe let’s have a big conversation about that when he’s tied up and naked because the last time we second-guess ourselves he stabbed me of a wouldn’t you stab someone if you were interrupted and I didn’t I’d like we’re the good guys I’m all right I use my image control I take my chains and I chain up probe all right and also just pulling out anything alright it’s just I just want to make mine
Chadwell Rihanna strip show any punches Dan twice what the fuck
I have like one hit point to Lely shrove like in the kidneys or the ribs you haven’t cashed sheleighly you going to cash it all right but I really thought we were doing the right thing you miss
how do I mix with a stick on a guy that’s being held he’s being held but he’s not like his feet are planted
it’s like it’s like a grapple site with thing and t-ball right it’s like living in t-ball
I am up all right I’m tying him up and stripping him
it’s all right I feel right he punches you too
I could take it he punches you in the mouth for six fuck Jesus Christ he comes in for another punch but he slips and falls on his face all right sleeping naked and tie him up
a diecast sheleighly and just start beating the fuck out of a piece
after the stripping don’t kill him no I’m not going to kill him
okay well you know what I fear for my life
so I am going to cast summon monster singing out loud friendly people now it doesn’t I’m just trying to think monster you haven’t summoned
Gary what is going on in my living room
we thought you’d like a half-naked man cheating
give me please where you guys are pretty cool
thank you so much. Francisco you guys are fantastic
Steve Levy
I’ve never had a managing everything backstage making everything cool Piggy on sound making everything sound fantastic Rob Drive everybody
everybody who march yesterday never is going to Mars today and tomorrow in Everett for now on
Spencer Crittenden
everything is possible I’m your cock going to get game is here
thank you guys so much
very flattering very loving and I really really am grateful for you guys treating us well thank you
speed on before you get speed out

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