Episode
Episode: 273 – How Much D Do I T?
Description
What’s a Bellman Joke? Does it have anything to do with Casablanca and the Thundercats? How do the Smurfs fit into all of this? Rob Schrab returns to give Dan some much needed therapy. then takes over for Diarrhea Jr. who makes eye contact during a ver…
Transcript
call Jada Crosby Pacific Standard Time
and you know what time that is
Hermantown
Delta Credit Union
you got a bag full of fun about a bag and his beef and cabbage for dinner
what you delivering it took a poop
invited papers to get the scoop the papers are dead in journalism is long gone and fuck your mama so hairy pussies in front lawn then I mowed it I made it clean what I mean it’s not about to find the vagina I’m going to North Carolina with my big dick in a bigger the canyon but your mom and she said Forest chocolate graham crackers a little mellow but your mom has a yellow I mean cowardly
the whole Avenue trouble haven’t gotten to yet I have to apologize for that rap map thank you for joining us again and there’s no audience a podcast there’s there’s some good good signs on that front I think no one’s been making some some progress and there is some shifting in the in the power Halls at in the City of Burbank I think there’s a new guy who came through was like in charge of Burbank now and he came through and he was like pretty friendly and into the venue and he suggested you know if you guys separate these desires of serving liquor here and doing a show here you know you can probably get you an audience back in here a lot faster and you can still work on the
the license for the serving so I think if we do that we could be we could be looking at an audience version of the podcast again soon
not soon what a popular think probably not really nuts not soon. Very soon I mean sooner certainly not so soon that if that’s what you’re waiting for you should you should you should prepare for your hang your hopes on it at all you should probably do you feel about doing it with or without the audience like it was a difference for you over there like we all prefer without an audience right it’s so much easier and better I think we’ve eaten are eating our share of this is a lonely sandwich I don’t know it’s 6 at 1 whatever we haven’t done it with an audience in a million years so I’m looking forward to it figured out what you’re going to be at sketchfest in San Francisco in front of an audience we’re not going to bring our lack of audience with us that’s if it’s too expensive to fly to have much lack of audience we can fly I like about it and so we’re going to go to an audience in San Francisco and do a little show there I guess
what I don’t know I got Google SF sketchfest harmontown 2018 or something along those lines yeah yeah I wanted to I wanted to do our our our our Belmont joke but you. You don’t even remember writing it it’s okay it’s okay so then why don’t you set this up or should I set it up okay so when we have this friend she’s a director Sofia Smoke N Brew kombucha at 2 it’s a Swedish names like I should get her last name because she long time ago I tweeted of music video that she did right over here in this space she does not motion stuff she’s done a she’s done a couple music videos at starburns now very very talented directors or whatever and maybe if you’re a fan of Cody’s Instagram you’ve seen her teaching Cody had a
various filthy things in Swedish what I do have is the Wikipedia like Belmond Joker shoots that somehow it came up she said there’s this tradition in Sweden it’s called the Belmont joke so is that where it is like kind of the whole purpose character in a like he’s the butt of the joke but he’s also kind of the hero of the joke in his own naivete stupidity we are Americans so we have Polack jokes with blonde jokes we have all kinds of horrible jokes I can’t even mentioned by the category but like we don’t have like American jokes where were cast as either the wise guy in a Ship of Fools or is it there’s some jokes where it’s like you’re trying to pump yourself up like a redneck in a in a in a in a Yankee go into a place in the redneck just does this and he’s a simple working man in a year
a paragraph in the Wikipedia for Belmond joke is the Bellman joke is a type of simple joke popular among the Swedish school children always including a person person named Belmont as the main character and very often do they have an example in their America when you’re a kid you learn these jokes of like a a black guy at Chinese guy in a Polish guy go into a popcorn store or whatever and I told his guy ends up doing something stupid and or maybe it’s the black guy that does something that’s more pragmatic there’s two cultures and Belmont who is a person and he’s at he stands apart he’s either the villain or the hero depending on your point of view he’s kind of that it’s like I think it’s like a manifestation of Sweden is it there that they’re like well what are we going to do we know we probably don’t have that big of an army you know like I don’t think it’s like they’ll go
Skyler is that guy and then there’s Belmont Belmont is the Swedish guy he’s just a regular Joe a Norwegian and Bellman made a wager on who could remain inside a good pen the long good night okay
Trish out with the Jane who came out just after 10 minutes yelling damn that goat stinks after him that the Norwegian went in after half an hour he came out yelling damn, that goat stinks finally Bellman after 2 hours the goat came rushing at saying damn that Belmont sent you a Russian a Russian a German and Belmont
wanted to see who can swim the fastest across the Atlantic Ocean and drowned next came the Russian he swam ten kilometers he now is Belmont’s turn he swam and swam until almost reached America and they got tired and swim back to see now that’s a hero it’s it’s interesting to me that it’s an interesting joke format what an interesting like a jingoistic like a like a fucking swedes do it the best I got two questions is Belmont first or last name I think I would say first I guess it is it supposed to be a reference to their race
like a snake-like is it supposed to be that to us because if they did put it in context with other people from countries so it won’t be as far as the 19th century and originally inspired by the life of the poet and composer Carl Michael Bellman the first known Belmont jug survive in a book from 1835 so that back of that far it’s almost like just like having mr. Bean be a character in a joke that we don’t have a national identity like that like we don’t have to go but only one is racism he’s not a race he’s kind of a disembodied it’s a neutral country wait that’s what’s for lunch
but isn’t it sort of like they’re know you’re Swedish in you you I think that’s part of it though as you’ll see in the Belmont joke that we wrote thank you we took a half hour and we rode by Belmont nearly an hour 45 minutes. I’m going to see if I can come up with the Belmont choke a handle on that premise now I’ll need the half hour to nearly an hour I think okay well it should take me about that time to tell ours cuz I’m not that good at telling jokes but I wrote down the bullet took like an hour early so we wanted to see could we make our friend Sophia the Swede laugh with a Belmont go with the proper Swedish Belmont Joe so here’s what he hears what we did right I think you take my fucking now I’m really proud of it
is that like an extra car like she went over like a pothole couldn’t believe that we updated and contemporized this is Spencer this is like an Evil Knievel
I haven’t bullet-point good joke is somewhat Rift well is that ok Google the new I’m going to prove myself to be a Belmont because I’m going to come through in the end I’m going to in a weird way all right just took. That the drawing rooms for 45 minutes
it’s the year 2019 ad
Earth has made first contact with an alien species
the message from this mysterious alien species is
we are here to destroy you if you are not worthy send three emissaries from your species each can bring one item
a lottery is held
the emissaries are chosen
a Dutch astronaut a German astronaut and Badman
thank God
the astronauts are placed into prescribed to craft
it is sent up to the Mothership orbiting the Earth
the airlock opens
the omnipotent
ominous aliens send their Emissary into the
vestibule of the shift
are astronauts inter with their items
what have you brought says the alien the Dutch astronaut steps forward I have brought this model of a windmill
the Dutch were the first to harness the natural resources of the earth and although our species currently lives in conflict with our planet
this is evidence that our people have it in them as early as the dawn of civilization to live in harmony with Mother Gaia
what else would have you brought
balls out
pistol says
this is a German Luger Pistol
it is the peak of German engineering yes it is war based but your species did say you were here to destroy us if we didn’t prove ourselves this is evidence that we have it in us to follow perfect order and have perfect hierarchy and that the results can be this this perfect piece of engineering that is literally never miss fired a shot the German Luger
and what have you got a man pulls out a camera says I brought a Hasselblad camera it says it’s a Swedish camera state-of-the-art
why because nobody’s going to believe this shit
yeah that’s a good Belmont joke
what is gentleman Feldman
I ordered a large is a did they kill who do they do they have
guy eats all of the piece of popcorn and it said of having sex with the farmer’s daughter I mean certainly a stomach ache and put yourself in the in the pants if aliens wear pants which one do you pick do you pick the the warlike engineering of the Germans or the ironic I get the joke Belmont they weren’t here to pick they wanted to see if we had the first civilization had generated a Belmont it died I think when you’re when you’re playing with your species gets to the point where it’s capable of Belmont production you’re like okay you’re all right and probably another alien comes on goes like long ago people didn’t understand goofy Horse Sense Spencer do you think you’re ready for your mama joke or do you need some time I just want to say that I think that you really
kid with a scripted Joe could not have accomplished by going off book and using those that I want it so thank you why was you elevated the material I’m not but I could be yeah but I choose to believe that you’re not well yeah I think the tension there is maybe you look like a disembodied Augusta person that’s what I’ve always wished I would be did I tell you guys that I imagine my head like running around like like it like pops off my body and like runs around a little beard feet you know like my best
and you haven’t did you have a Belmont joke I came up with one of my proud of that but you know that wasn’t asked Sophia if you come up with that you came up with a bell joke that quickly okay but later than I am right all right and Belmont outside of a dungeon became hysterical a dungeon and the elf goes like I’m going to get that treasure and goes in there and then five minutes later comes back out and it works like haha fucking elves and then the dwarf goes in there and then he comes out he’s all scratched up and bloody and he’s like this place is full of works man I’m not going back there’s no way the treasures work that in Belmont like I got this you guys and then he comes back like 2 hours later and he’s just fine everyone’s like what what what happened he’s like you guys were totally right man there’s like the place was terrible.
like just a bunch of Dusty coins and stuff cuz he got the treasure but he didn’t care for it has a different standard passes the test of being a few if if each of them worse but specified is coming out empty-handed so that they’ll mine comes out empty-handed and then he’s like yeah yeah yeah that was my flop
our next guest needs no introduction he’s been touring clubs and colleges Across the Nation you might have missed him on Jimmy Kimmel he’s he’s been a good friend of mine for a long time and a good friend of the show and a good friend of entertainment in general please welcome Rob schrab
I don’t know
Rob Egypt do you want to try to Freestyle a Belmont jug it’s a tripartite jack where one person is his of the hero or the dummy
hard to tell which
it’s kind of like a shopping of jokes I’m so have you guys been having a hard time with 2018 yeah that’s company seamlessly for me so far
I mean I haven’t I’ve been having a hard time getting up in the morning
like it was difficult it is difficult for me to come over here I have not really I got a lot of work I could be doing and it’s not even that much as I’m looking over when we were called but still I really am still in vacation mode yeah I’m having like a hard turn I’m having a hard turn I’m going through I don’t I go to bed early I sleep late I’m I don’t go out I’m home I order in a lot the Kate goes plays magic cards in VR and end hangs out in Malibu and it’s just me and the dog mostly can definitely enabling each other like we just every weekend we just we can’t wait to get to the weekend and then we jump into bed and we just turned into fucking potatoes. We just don’t do a lot but you’re doing it
meditating I’ve been meditating a lot tonight I’ll set my insight timer for 20 minutes set the the alarm if you meditate too long you could go crazy you know if you’re right about that has to be in the neighborhood of like 48 hours I don’t worry about Hindu Annabelle month and the Hindu says I’ll go into Nirvana first I’ve been taking transfer to hold a meditation classes does that orientation for that oh yeah it’s like right around the block from Jonah Ray was there might be saying that
he was put up to it by Joel Hodgson our good friend came here is really into you yeah I think you really need to be during this man I think I think with your like the way your mind works you got to get up inside that mother grab you guys got it really like it down into it now now so I did and I really enjoyed it I can’t remember why Cody and I didn’t go back at it wasn’t like I think it was just like
I think it oh so you know what it was because they said you can’t get high
and Cody was like peace like in general or before that you’re not supposed to get high it wasn’t like for the rest of your life it was like you’re going to you know to get a proper version of what hopefully will help you try not to drink or get high or whatever or they even said don’t take a nap before it. Just a little yeah like where we’re at we’re not having kids cuz I think you like Cody was like well maybe we should freeze her eggs at extreme and I got done forget it piece
YouTube really like getting high I really like Cody she really really likes getting high I should get high more and drink less I get high and then I go to bed me to eat and then I go to bed I turned on the television and I go to bed man I’m falling apart now man this is a cry for help you just sleepy until you supposed what do you want to do you want to be in the bucket list like falling out of a plane like like life is about going outside of work or flying a kite like what the fuc who cares those people are morons I’m not happy though you’re not happy because you think you should be doing something else that could be glad to be part of the whole thing drop that’s a little bit
cigarette like I’m I’m sick and tired of pretending I’m trying to quit or presenting people for telling me I should quit it’s like I’m smoking okay I’m going to smoke this cigarette and I’d look at each cigarette and I feel like getting ready to get smoke you little fucker and I’d smoke it and that was the first step down the road to getting to quit smoking like being intentionally being unconscious about things you know not wanting to face things is a big that seals off a mental process that could just make thoughts like magnify an end but simultaneously they’re sealed off so you’re not even knowing they’re magnified that’s where you get your classic guy you know sipping coffee and then then and then they run out of Splenda and he takes a knife out and kills everybody think his classic
or both because your leaders creative in professional and they’re kind of not necessarily the same anymore that and you know it said everybody wants to help is it where you got to go out you got to read you got to do some stuff you can’t just like you and yeah I know but that doesn’t help doesn’t want to help I want I want you to I want you to fucking pop like a cuz I know it’ll be great you know it was like I want you to get so fucking sad and angry and then sick of the world and was selfish and that you take all of that talent that you can’t escape and just fucking Smash It Like A Eddie Van Halen guitar and like create some crazy new form of music that you don’t no pressure but yeah I I I just like I like making little animation to put them on Instagram and whatever like you I think you need to do what Justin did when he when he we know when he started doing the voices that became
and Morty was because he was like he was mad and lonely and sad like he hated like working and he and he just wanted to take a shit on Back to the Future as if they can just be used as a lien ate it you know like just let follow it like Frets think about how fucking much you hate everybody like their stupid I don’t know your life I don’t want to wait anybody I just I just it’s it’s just getting its like you wrote it yourself, okay I’m going this again
yeah this this this I got it I got I got 12 hours of this before it’s okay for me to go back to sleep go back to bed that’s already I’m already made it by your you’re expressing it you’re always going to be an artist Like You Do you know how a guy at the Dunkin Donuts this says what you just said he got he said something that he heard on television he said the same shit different day and he’s right he did then he and then he rape somebody don’t want to rape anyone like the dream I don’t know if you if you woke up and said oh I’m craving I’m working I’m doing this thing what would that be I don’t know I don’t know what that would be I mean I literally can do whatever I want right now I mean I am sitting on a ton of savings I I don’t have many expenses I could jump on a plane and go anywhere I want I could invest all my money into something and I just I might
I don’t know it’s just a severe sad apathy exact same way except without is as much money I need to sternly I’m more comfortable than I have and go a couple places in California let’s go like my vote for going like like like like like following your assessment of the monotony though I think that that’s how caterpillar start to spin a cocoon that you feel sluggish you’re full of leaves you don’t want to eat them anymore you have all the energy you need it’s just all like your metabolism is down and a transformation is about to happen and the caterpillar we don’t want to see if we like our butterflies we don’t want our caterpillars like forcing themselves to go to yoga when they feel that way we want them to like to like double down on that feeling because the lock somewhere in there is the beginning of a new phase you’re you’re you’re lucky to have
illogical stopping point emotionally where sings just feel like okay I think that could be incredibly depressing you know you finish a draft you finish your job like there’s that postpartum depression because it but it’s like it’s cuz you’re done with one thing and you haven’t started another yet and you feel useless and I know that it’s not what you’re feeling right now you feel like it’s in a larger scale but I’m saying that’s because you’re you’re the project that you finished isn’t as simple as I just did this thing was JJ Abrams and now I got to look for another job chapter of your life that is ending and that’s an end of it could be a regression to childhood like you may need to get your your little cardboard things back out and fucking end and I would say it instead of forcing it sound like I’m going to make like a new franchise I’m going to do this to me using thing like I like this I like the thought of you turning
your Gaze on the Clockwork of life where you’re like looking at how pointless at all is you’re going like this is what life is this is like I’m like killing time between naps and I can’t get out of bed in like time means nothing in life means nothing and all the stuff I’d love to see your blue. You know
yeah I mean I need I’ve been thinking about that like a lot like in the last year just like what do I really want to be doing you know you’ve had that I’ve had this trajectory
I’m doing a certain living a certain life you have since I was like eight-years-old you know and I’m living it and I’ve done pretty much everything I’ve ever set out to do at least tasted it and and now I’m like well wasn’t that great where’s the person that said oh I’m instead of one day I mean like if you hear the story of somebody doing the opposite of what we’re doing you know the lawyer that said I I want to write the Die Hard 3 you know like 10 goes out and does it you know and leave that World Behind becomes a creative like what’s the opposite of the creative person who has done nothing but being creative isn’t Iyer life even for fun do you think is a version of you around that even if you wrote the perfect thing got all the kudos for it that that would make you happy if they’re doing I’ve already done that
it’s it makes you happy but being happy and being satisfied or not necessarily the same thing is there a version where you know I did I crossed at Finish Line that made me feel satisfied like is is there a work thing a drawing that you could do a movie you could write a award you could win that you would cross that threshold and oh I feel good I miss being proud
was it but I don’t know I mean it you know like I just you know there’s some things that you go out and you know you do something in your ear like I did that because it’s a job or I didn’t you know I didn’t do this it went so far and it was great for that but then it just didn’t go over that that that next step to get to out into the public or or whatever but I feel the same to psychiatry
fake thresholds I thought that I would have crossed by now but I’m just happy now to make a living like doing like what I like then and that’s why I’m in the very lucky percentage of people that get to do that but you’re more artistic than I am but your
like your buck like a bite but I can’t do anything else like you draw. And you don’t even like it you draw because you have to if because what else are you going to fuck yeah I think there’s those two levels of that’s like you and I have been on both tracks at various stages of of our careers there’s the track where is all this artificial outside encouragement where people are calling and going like how do you like to meet with Gwyneth Johnsonburg and I wanted I’ve always wanted I’ve always been into slinky’s Slinkys interested in you get to get out of bed every day and go like well you know I’m going to fucking blow people’s minds and make this mess like you moving and yet you have all these outside like things and it’s like it’s like carbohydrates I get fills your blood sugar and then as long as you keep stuff
your face with Snickers bars you don’t know that you’re running on Purely blood sugar and then to one of two things happened you run out of Snickers and you get starving or you get really fat and you’re also unhappy because you’re 350 jobs for guetta’s Johnsonburg and Slinky and none of them are passionate and in the end that’s like the again you just let you just feel like you’re miserable and then then there’s the Atkins diet of creativity this is a bad metaphor cuz you’re vegetarian but you know liquid Jeff it said like is this about is about profession or is this about creative because they are they can be two different things and I think you’re you’re you’re well aware of the fact that you don’t want Robert De Niro to drop through a skylight and be like I I want you to make a Bullwinkle movie with me like you that’s not going to make you happy right now
and you don’t need it and and so it’s like it’s like they were talking about like you feel like when Eddie Murphy went up at the House of Blues and started singing about how it was didn’t feel like it was funny anymore before after Pluto Nash or something like your feet you’re feeling midlife like creative it’s like you get the the phone calls from you. Like hey there’s a meeting these people want to meet you and you’re just like now and now I know I don’t want to why not I just don’t feel like driving to San Diego getting stuck in traffic for something that’s a meet-and-greet that’s just not going to go anywhere or anywhere I want to Lionel to do the
talking Captain Crunch movie or you know the electrician’s a serial killer movie I know you feeling are you feeling more creative or less creative now I do do feel yeah I’m feeling bad and it’s and it’s hard because if it was just living alone
but you’re glad I have my insecurities about my my wife who’s younger than me you know going ice didn’t sign up for this I didn’t go to live with a zombie and I mean that goes back and forth to show she’ll be drawing checks from the account of your relationship at some point when she’s feeling down she she loves you she is. She did sign up for this she she doesn’t
she didn’t have a preconceived like she didn’t want you to be energetic when she married you she wasn’t going in my vows which is that I want you to be bubbly everyday she’s a Creator to like she makes stuff and also like she has to deal with her own like ups and downs in the creative process like she doesn’t work at a bakery she also wants to make things into the Creator and you you’re butt dealing with the same we’re going to get so many tweets from people at Dunkin Donuts and bakeries like twice now been used as an example of people that have no point to to live from the invite for 15 min wage socialist people if I made like you sent a pretty dark tweet out today will you pick up
I need it like playing Price is Right the price of Life they do and and and the closer to 0 you get you is it is it was a joke or creative are just a really funny right wasn’t a hilarious hilarious what we’re going to look at that is classic set up pay off hoe boy yeah I know I don’t know it was bad I’m in a bad place I like I said I feel like Rob doesn’t feel I feel the type of my very strong with everything you’re saying I don’t know I had the thought that and this may or may not make any sense but like the whole concept of a midlife crisis and might be like this biological 40 car reproduction Instinct like like after you go so far suddenly the light goes out of the world and it and it becomes gray and the reason becomes gray is because then you can see the world fresh new color once you had a kid it kind of basically it’s like New Game Plus on the world and it kind of just changes your perspective and lets you kind of be
I’m comfortable with the idea of it’s not about my happiness it’s not about me being the protagonist in the world it’s about being part of this community that has been putting forth new people better than the new. Things that are going to stay out through fresh eyes it’s like a fan of like they start tracker Dungeons & Dragons in your teaching somebody who’s never done it before it’s boom it’s just like it if you have a kid you go this is Christmas is Easter is going to hold new line like the second chapter like everything about your life you have to redo but I’ve been having a midlife crisis has seized my entire life but I think I would do something to do with I think I see a typical a Dunkin Donuts of shit eating Bakery worker
Time Magazine can identify one midlife and one midlife crisis and creatives are constantly dying and resurrecting in their mind I think that I think that you guys are hitting the nail on the head cuz it all has to do with the future when you’re 25 you don’t really realize that would keeping you going is thinking about unconsciously about how life is going to be when you’re 35 like you you do it just it’s that energy just permeates you even though if anyone asked you and you consciously answered the question like so what’s it like being so young and like having your whole life ahead of you you would we were all there we would Grouse and be like what do you mean my whole life I was I should have done something by the time I was Twenty-One and a i blah blah blah I like and also even if you even if you were an optimistic person and be like look I’m not a materialist so I don’t care about the future I don’t care what’s going to happen I’m not thinking about that
can you pass a polygraph test but when you get to 35 you then start to realize that you owe I said something take this empty in here and I can’t quite put my finger on it and then you get to 45 and you like I know what that tank is that tank is thinking about the future it’s it it’s it is just the idea of the future but here’s the Glorious invitation if that represent because this isn’t an epiphany we’re having when were 70 where it would be fine to have it then like Unforgiven we could take a shotgun into town or just blow everyone away in the rain but when you’re truly middle-aged is to is to truly say oh my my thought about the future tank is empty that’s a good tank to be empty it’s like going into ketosis and says where I am now going to have to actually live off of the moment and Jeff is saying that one way he’s in
actor he he’s he’s going like he broke through to I’m just a Wandering Minstrel and I want to I’ve found joy in like send me on a plane to India send me here like as long as I’m always working with people that I said I love and I’m getting paid to do when I love and I don’t have to work in a whole Bakery with the fucking disgusting the baker’s Bakers of America you gross fucking shit who wants to be a fucking Baker milk fed to Donut Wrangler you tell me what ye Steven is Bakers and I’ll fucking give you a I’ll tell you what to do it was not Rising your life few pieces of shit and there will be no comeuppance for this there will never be a working-class revolution in this country all right keep saying that
has angrily they’ll never liked Justin the public never be a working-class Uprising get enough people to say that I’m back at work I mean it’s a box of not having a man anyways that’s what we need to get through to it is that it’s just that I’m waking up and and if there’s a depressing way of saying it that you’re waking up and there’s nothing that there’s also a really wanted to do I’ve done
and I’m kind of sick of it you know I’m kind of sick of my own shit you know at about the same time I could go but now’s the time to change to do something different now that time to invent a new style I’ll tell you something you’ve always had over me it is like I’ve never had the balls to say no to the Clifford the Big Red Dog meeting or the so-and-so wants to meet you I’m old I can’t shake this Terror but I need to it’s being forced upon me that I need to because I’ve done nothing but you know spread myself thin and bought a bunch of projects like I I need to just say no thank you to the Django phone call the Django movie like like like like like I am but instead I just keep going like well do you think he’ll set it in the future and taking that call and then like and then of course he says yes but he’s lying and I don’t like either you going to the fucking Django office and
it in in Encino and I just I just I was there actually a amazing it’s so hard to do anything creative pray for me that I can’t do it unless I love it and I got to figure out a way to love it if I can figure out a way to love it I’ll I’ll do it but if I can’t I’m like I’m wasting everybody’s time so yeah I don’t work as often as I probably could and I could have a bigger savings account then I do but I just kind of I do what I whatever I want Anna and right now I’m like in a scary place because I you know this is what the pressure feels like is is like I don’t want to do anything ever again and I feel like it’s going to be ever again and then eventually my wife’s going to leave me my dog’s going to die I’m going to have a no
savings account and you’re just going to bury me in that apartment that I’ve been living in for the last 20 years because I’m afraid to move out maybe you’ll feel better if I do a rap hit it
Zach you got to meet Belmont and bail bond why can’t I got it at the new I wrote it to your house then I got up my shoes and I bought it over in and I took a poop and that I had a shoe filled with too much renew and I gave it to you and you said what you going to do with red hair
cats are fed the cats.
Okay one more time there it is a Rubbermaid do for the poop depression depression rap here we go yo
to Mickey to the Tre to the s s i o n s
chocolate mint ice cream is the here to say
donut donut maker I wake up in the morning and I make the dough I got to roll it all around things that you need to eat to do what you do
Carpenter or you’re a banker I’m just a lowly but you guys be so great if you hate him so what what were you work at a gym like I’m a fucking Donuts know you just make the opposite of of my working at the gym if you think about it so weird psycho I make the donuts and then you if you go to the gym in
I’m going to make the donuts come out of your body
turn the cash rapper Thundercats rest stops and I said sometime
that was good all right man am I good I mean that was a good one. I feel I feel bad Rob’s you feel do you feel more activated as a crater now after that I think so I think so I thought maybe if I
stir the pot a little bit there be some
creative energies like maybe we would Thundercats what was that cartoon
I think panthro and Katara work an item I think they were keeping it quiet at cuz the kids are around they would always kind of like the Wildcat we’re always around too much and you know that pants RPS moment I said Pantera Pantera the band I can’t believe all of the Thunder God I’m losing my Thundercats name all of the ThunderCats Lion-O Lionel going to get harder tiger
no I don’t think so
roller what are you going to do to me I don’t even know what does name Richie barathy feminized her name and then it would be Thai grow and what are the kids with pool in winfall and I and I know I know you did that kind of ghost guy know that was the bad but I don’t know if you get the snow or go and not Smurfette Smurfette
Chastity virtue signal a boy sees our Goods message stated they didn’t properly liptock brainy Smurf movie Super a snowflake Smurfs heart bleeder
what is that brainy bringing a Vanity Vanity have to be smart for you handy handy Smurf handy Smurf was like he was he was basically Andy on WKRP that’s how I remember him
Hefty Smurf Hefty that the only works for you is one of the strip blue that’s worth with me my name is happy this is why there are they were all trying to lose more fat in one episode and they all wrote songs are the things in that that fucking potato chip hat is Hefty Smurf is not a real Smurf look at Nate he’s the much unlike vanity and flowers and talked with Ann from Gilligan’s Island and but then you got handy and brainy it’s like you split your professor
out of my shiny but brainy knew how to not make shit them it was it would bring you to stand over handy shoulder and go I keep getting a shed if I can got it it kind of drop it what did he do so the ColecoVision came with Smurf the video game and you’re under 50 goodbye for you or us I’m happy
type ColecoVision into Google search and whatever fucking game ever I remember Christmas morning we got the ColecoVision and we were shooting our pants because it was like real arcade graphic yeah in your home clean it was like it was like pharmaceutical cocaine we put in Smurf couldn’t get past the first screen a Smurf trying to get Smurfette out of Gargamel’s crib rib rack scrolling game it starts out mushroom my one friend and one side of the frame offense on the other and if it goes do do do do do do do do do do do do do
and you would have to jump over the fence and with those fucking weird-ass ColecoVision which was like what the hell do you know what am I supposed to do with this you’re supposed to jump and move at the same time so it which was
almost impossible so we’re we’re trying to do this and we’re trying to jump over the fence of the first screen and Jeff Stephen may we couldn’t do it we couldn’t do is push rod brother’s doing it for hours and hours and hours we could do it and all three of us are crying I’m crying and David and Donna’s Rob my parents are going it’s just you know it’s just a really hard game you got to practice at her but it’s not even fun whole family then burn the house down if it makes you that and yeah if it’s just like a giant eagle
girl God damn it and you just hear from the kitchen and see if it makes me mad angry why are you keep playing
and I remember Mom I want to talk to you about your marriage the first level on WhatsApp to just real life instead of game would that be a bad mom I’m doing a joke
hey do miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss go in a huge family gathering if I can smell food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually do that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes how the themes relate to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker it myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like a verb you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
what was the video game Dragon’s Lair in what state States and drink it was so fucking 15 seconds cartoon of Don Bluth cartoon and just having to memorize window put a DVD remote control when you were going chapter searching with this fucking piece of shit but it’s all about memorizing it as hell yeah but you guys do you guys remember what DVD’s first came at a cherry tree ever forward it is written on the point Industries a seal in Latin ever ever forward
La Casa del tequila.
Like it was asked DVDs hadn’t been in existence for a year and wouldn’t have been if it weren’t for the porn industry and then it also at the same time that you would get a porn and DVD end of men you would always include sex game traffic and it’ll be like this weird it’s like it’s just playing a video of a homo and yours came to space station 69 for the hallway and there’s a pussy jerking off wasn’t fun until you guys added hallways but you can’t
Play lamu Can’t Play Born for for being a report is like that is like the head of North Korea’s days of Kim Jong-un we’re on like you’re a paranoid popcorn is a paranoid dictator knows that if it lets its guard down for a second it will be assassinated and we will figure out a way to do away with foreign of corn to stay relevant it’s just like such an idiot so it’s always out there just like nervous and sweaty like that they did the guy in Casablanca the actor who sweaty and I don’t know the other guy the guy who sounds like Peter Lorre Peter Lorre is always
take it easy and I’ll see you sweetheart ice cream
Baby Alive red Angry Bird
I want you to be a print version I want you to be poor and hub of all of the characters he’s not a tumor that’s not a tumor is good and her burner Sydney Greenstreet you must remember this
is there a religion that movie with Sidney Greenstreet I use sums Rachel Louis Armstrong was in that movie
have you ever seen the movie it’s a good movie Casablanca yeah I don’t think I’ve seen it did you know there is an alternate ending to it that they change the ending zip yeah I do want to risk another ending to Casablanca right now so slow and whatever her name is outside on the plane but I see you got Claude Rains and Humphrey Bogart has the each of them have been kind of traitors to their own like laws kcub Claude Rains
it seems likely that we are in a bad situation you have to kill me or I have to arrest you
you know
I think I enjoy his name what’s his name lieutenant
there Comes A Time in a man’s life when he needs to thank you and your welcome but then that’s what you have a wreck
sorry I didn’t mean to burp
maybe I’m a lieutenant to sweethearts
hello hello hello
you got it American sweetheart but it is about a fire away from America’s New Jersey is from see who’s on who’s on your phone
I was talking to the Vichy general of the local police department
and I found one of those
second phone sweetheart you want me to get rid of some of these dead soldiers here sweetheart
Rick this is me know if you don’t remember my name that I was just hanging out with you forgot my name you know how to say my name don’t use my name just put your lips together and blow hold on can I put you can I just put you on my shoulder and he can throw this pants are all over this racist motherfuker
I didn’t hang up
where is Mar-A-Lago
I’m going to put you on the phone right now I get it
hello hello let me put you on the phone with Ki tarah by turning the phone pay with the kitchen I’m going to go get him and I’ll get you anything cuz I don’t remember the name of the movie where he says put your lips together and blow with the with Lauren Bacall let me ask sexy dancer in the dark
what was the name of the movie where they say put your lips together and blow
vinyls not out here, sweetheart he’s in the kitchen 000 nevermind
what what what been through I’m just sitting here making omelets I didn’t recognize you guys leave. Owens Lords of light
those are incredible gives me the the cat phone is ringing I don’t have and have nots who is that that was the trivia Club telling me what my why are you talking to her all the time you can’t be jealous and sleep with panthro talked about this I’m going to show you a couple more Zips my God shitara
your body is incredible
oh my God you’re not even a cat person you’re just his mother
well if it’s a fight you want to do whatever I got to do that damn it you stopped me before before I can make my sport all the way God dammit he put ice in my hands
don’t you like it don’t you like it you liked it that one time gross what are we where are we on this planet I don’t know I’m so I’m so tired of all the time you have to be two people how come you have to change from a mummy man into it
okay you want to know you want to know okay so
there’s good energy and then there’s bad energy and then there’s in between
well good is defined by what we think is good and what is that correct so I know it’s a cat well yes but you have an opinion of what is good right I believe that the Thunder energy is the only good energy in the world in 2018 do not write so I’m good when I’m
when I’m old mummy guy right but when I want to be bad and kick some ass I turned it to Super mama and that’s when I take my Sword of Omens and pray to the Lord of Light to give me sight Beyond sight and then say thunder several times and assemble the ThunderCats white why don’t you just have the sword always long
that’s the real question swords are for fighting and I believe in peace
that’s why my hope is that I’ll never have to have sight Beyond sight ever again how long does it take you to grow the sword law will let me run through it in my head Sunder Sunder Sunder Sunder cats by the light that goes out into space, everybody runs that are okay and that animation is done on the ones as they come a minute-long of Animation a week into a minute and then there’s which is 2 minutes yes so that’s like 5 minutes we don’t have to deal with the rest is the shity stuff right now Snarf’s made some soup the other day
and it’s called fans bro let’s be honest you’re here for the 3-year olds I think it’s a reach
the families have to eat their children by living in front of the television
Turbo
you’re a nice guy I’m just trying to make it fun but you talk English or yeah but you walk on all fours you have like a like a personal relationship with all these people do you ever try ever protect me from this emotional abuse and drive a car you wear cuz I’m one person all the time that you were going to do are you going to a second identity like shit in front of you like a dog.
that’s what his thing is he says his name a lot to which is
no I’m your host and you’re a parasite
now we can stand now and I can walk around a relationship we saved ourselves six minutes of Animation she’s awake please I think of him if if I owe anybody anything
it’s don’t bully anybody you guys are you guys are you live on a bully culture but if you have two teachers hit by being high maintenance and taking up that much real estate what is the lesson even worse it remind me to self generate a job as being a regular phlox more comfortable is it about everyone having a transformation sequence where he’s not like this Quadra ped walking around probably humping shit he just turns into a guy says you need me to pick up these these dishes here I can do it now but I’m going to go back to the regular Smurf because I find it more comfortable hey man I mean forget about the fact that Prince Adam look exactly like he man he had a green cat that then and then he man also had agreed that it was just rubbing people fast
that didn’t do shit and cringer had a personality battle cat just had a helmet on tonight was that wasn’t the sure right to assume there’s a Hardwick podcast
play Manhunt on Netflix the toys that that made us in the 80s like how like the guy who created He-Man the toy was just talking shit about the cartoon like you guys he’s all but that doesn’t make any goddamn sense so what what came first the tour of the cartoon the toy the people I forgot who was it was metal
Hasbro has has he man now but I think Mattel had He-Man but they
had a chance to get the Star Wars they went now that movie’s not going to go anywhere and then Canter got it and then they went to shit and then GI Joe came around and they went fuck and then they said what why don’t we create something when we create a property before the movie and they created He-Man and Eddie man is just like they looked at GI Joe and I looked at like Luke Skywalker and they go look at these guys they’re not pose they have the Russians are really small let’s make them really buff and give him like an expression and an income a bigger toy and an enduring like a pitch meeting when they were going to like Toys R Us they they said yeah well is there our kids going to know about this nigga oh well they’re going to watch the cartoon
and I went oh okay well then we’ll we’ll go buy a bunch of this stuff it sounds great and then they left the room with her well what do you mean cartoon you can make a good movie or a TV show and there was an action figure that kids played with what were the action figure B make up a new one if you created a show that is something I got an idea that you’ve already had cuz you got you got lots of great ideas or a new one but if you found out when you were an old man on your deathbed and kids all that one action figure what was it action figure B
it’s sending it’s already pretty sure that you created we hit we hit Peak toy with micronauts my brother had micronauts in like they were they were the best toy really feeling ever they were all swallowable pieces everything everything was swallowable like everything was pill size everything was removable there is no bigger nose smaller a deep cut this is deeper than this is like my brother might have had it it was a giant hornet with like purple transparent Wings it was a spaceship
I don’t know of a I don’t know it was like wasp Tron or something like that or whatever but it had like this it was all black head like a pointed face with like red Windows you could open it up that was a cockpit you put your mic or not in it and then had like laser purple wings that you can make flap or whatever it was like the coolest thing ever that Jeff I’ve got that for Christmas cuz he always got the cool shit and I got clothes
the vegetable soup of gifts yeah but those close today
look at me am I going to have to wake up cuz they were just so there were tiny and but the every fucking joint was yep articulated and it to the head like their heads were like metal what was your favorite toy growing up like the one toy that you can rely on I don’t know when you’re talking about my car not to remind me of the sea box which seemed kind of similar they’re like collectible figure that’s pretty small but yeah I don’t know I like it and they have for me with Legos and Star Wars action figures the best and then you have to go pee in the middle of the night and you step on a Lego and you just died because it hurts that is even got a fucking AT-AT walker
and I got clothes sweater I feel like what the fuc
I told you the Ken doll story right I told you that again
I
play Barbies with the girls next door a lot and you would win I would win when they would leave the room and I would pull my dick out and rub them all over the bar wait wait wait how how yucky is that joke yeah yeah okay I was 21 in love with Barbies like I just I would just kiss them and rub them on my face and everywhere and take off their clothes and there was just so fast that you didn’t have sisters or sister but you didn’t Barbies that it is femininity for the first time through
girls throw away Rainbow Brite you go to the girl across the street or your size you bit you know it’s like you’re meeting you’re getting play dates or whatever it’s like the girl toys are like they’re like you’re 7 years old but you’re you’re fine you’re still a little Barbarian I was I was I was not pumping on these toys and I guess I played with Barbies enough that my parents told my grandma well
what what does what does what does Steven Robbie what does Jeffrey Rob Robbie what does Robbie want for Christmas and did they tell him the Barbie story and so they don’t give him a Barbie and they gave me because then they don’t want a gay son from they gave me $10 so I open up Steven gets like he walks in my house and shit and I’m like tonight I opened it up and I get a Ken doll and I looked at it and it all this went like flashed for the henna as like oh my God they think I’m gay and this is a way to stop it it’s totally ineffective this is making me wait GERD and then I start putting the pedal to the metal yes and then I pull on Knotts not cry cry and I’m going to Grandma I didn’t want this stomping my foot
way too old to be that like fucking the part part of it is Hartman level crying and he’s just a disappointing gift but but but most of it is screaming to the world do you don’t understand I wanted to tell him I’m straight as an arrow that’s why I left it here asleep straight yes but my dick on a Barbie beat me to death and that’s why your face in the corner and made me stay there forever cuz I was like like I don’t want I don’t want it
M&T bank reserve like I like the new ones with which this Midwestern van is going like to them that we could use to bring them back into the roller derby my God I was like so my son rubbing his dick on a female dog let’s get my mail has all the rebels Decker they didn’t fit him know he was rubbing his dick he was interested in playing with the female dolls defying women in edit early and then there was nothing to worry about playing at the bottom of the AT-AT isn’t part of this route because I grew up with I’ve got an older brother and like a big tradition in the midwest to in our generation was the Christmas would come you know
it’s like they just take the Sears catalog and plop it in front of you and so they stopped doing that after the it would be like Oh Santa wants to know what you want and and then you have to like go through the book and like there’s a kick-ass toys but yeah I want that list and appearance of go I assume around $30 and Carter are like League where it’s like whatever Optimus Prime was worse in 1980 that I’m just saying like that process though I’m stuck in $10 and it was one where you could put like you can give him that you can give them the sideburns over here or whatever he’s got a suit and tie and maybe you could dress up and call me
every once in awhile Robbie and it’s like Stevens like in the 25th Century Jeff is building stuff out of Apollo Lego and I just
fucking shit yeah
well that’s good I know you guys this is good I like everything bad happening to you is actually good he’s got a disease
your fear of being angry your fear of being a of just above a barbaric yes I might be part of it like we want to be good guys we want to be gentle and evolved and Smurf is a hard game I just was watching a YouTube video of it and man know what’s after that first screen a second screen with the second fence exactly it’s no it’s not even and then and then it’s a two screens of nothing and then a screen where you have to jump over a little crabgrass in the exact same spot as those 20 country songs that you would hear over and over and over again until you went crazy scream crying scream I did a lot of screaming crying when I was a kid no wonder at least you had a Kaliko do you know
what we had and Cleco Adam
we have my family had an odyssey cuz that’s how you roll when your dad’s a baker Baker’s
pad
I thought someone was beatboxing
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
the only smart for you it’s one who is true blue that Murphy’s me my name is happy I want to eat the Smurfs
how are you going to do that how many apples high it was a Smurf 3 something three apples high is terrifying to be too high like they don’t look that big motherfuker three apples high in the go through that door that means the mushrooms up to my hair grief Urban cartoon Architects I love you now you want to play Rob the guy know you hate games pretty sure he’s currently pooping right
play I do it wrong you’ll probably be okay
last time on Harmon time our heroes wear indoor Nestor on the Quest for pageants gym after some initial fact-finding they discovered enough to realize that they should head to the theater and find some Clues there they met a guy named Gretel who is fat and ask him some questions and he put them all into the direction of troll a figure about town and so on the pursuit for shrove Our Heroes left and went to the tavern but not before discussing what they thought was the situation at hand which I wish I could quote directly but I cannot then they went to the tavern where they met cool Dennis and I learned some information where they met this dude and he had a cloak and it turned out of his pants and cloak from when he got robbed that first time would it set off the quest of patches gym in the
first place and the guy who was wearing that cloak he said the guy who gave him the cloak was drove and he was in the bathroom or something like that and then the gang set up in the bathroom making sure to send diarrhea to the window that guard for an escape surrounding shrove in the bathroom Our Heroes were about to LEAP into action to hopefully get to the bottom of the Quest for pageants Jen but will they
I’m standing by the window you’re outside the tavern because there’s a guy in the bathroom of the tavern that’s like our perp right play music I would want I’m playing it cool I sent you out to the in case there’s a window to the bathroom I don’t want this guy leave I’m playing it cool you’re playing it cool if you’re not with him when he comes out so you can waylay him Carlos know you’re outside and or you’re outside my window right now like the like the back of the bathroom outside I’m playing a cool I’ll see you in a plan together when it comes out of here from pooping
we know that this guy is involved with the waylaying of passions he probably has the gym I’m ready to cast flare to Dazzle him or do you want the situation we figure this out like what was the best one yet we need to plan the post post apprehension because we’re not taking her to the Church of silver play Fuck you straight when were taken of God knows where but like yeah we got we got to not cause a Civic incident like people see us mugging this guy just wait we just knock him unconscious I can do sheleighleigh and cuz of the sky knock them out
I love you
you’re stronger than me you’re bigger than me but we can just take him
yeah I just don’t know where to take him but
we just we get them outside is it nighttime a cool dentist it’s getting towards evening to your rooms to rent here is just kind of like a Tavern it’s not our a Tavern / in or whatever we don’t we don’t get too many visitors so what’s your policy on people knocking out people as they come out of a bathroom in the Dragon come out of this Cavern is directly against the rules of this tavern in the rules of house Glenda which governs all sorts of places of hospitality in the nation a shift that’s bad for us is there any way to get a temporary permit if our interest is in not disrupting your house of hospitality if I could give you some gold pieces just as a as a as a as a reprieve because our goal is to just make this as painless as possible just want to get them out of here and take him somewhere else he looks a you live at with a look and says he’s a sunny I don’t think you know the situation you are in do you know who shrove is what he is to this town do you know who you are to this town
but I’m a stranger right isn’t sure of the Metro was a good friends he’s the master of the theater Gilroy and he told you he was the theater master I think what do you know what the church has to this town a pain in my rump yeah well it can only get bigger I mean shrubs got himself into a real hot mess I don’t want any trouble and I don’t want to win a copy of the condos in Anger Carlos with a wink so I can hate you. Let’s just leave it lets you know that’s okay cool I guess we won’t do anything received but we still go back to the bathroom if I can get a get this month and if things get tough I’ll just summon a giant ant in the middle of your bar chess you cry so you guys are just you want that
you’re the one you guys are just retaking your positions that you were in formerly when it was clear that you were going to hang out after having said you aren’t going to do that my crotch like pee pee dance and all this talk about things that made me want to go pee pee town so I’m going to go stand in line for the restaurant I’m going to fucking do it I’ll be ready with sheleighly so I can cuddle with motherfuker my quarterstaff because of + 1 11 with two D6 damage
damn yeah sorry I’m a I’m fake people dancing out in front of the men’s men’s room I’m into it and what are we going to do man ran over our heads Brewery we did a guy laying over I wear in over I go outside you can’t hear me I’m ready to fucking rock this guy’s going to come out is just going to pull up and look at the fucking get this mother fucker I’m outside maybe we should just follow him follow it he’s going to sneak out we’re going to lose him like we always keep an eye on the window with the last 45 minutes I’ll tell you what I’m not going to do o
he’s knocking on the window hey come on
or not aware of that. That’s a stroke
Trove Trove yeah I know you’re doing that yeah you’re doing that it’s it’s alarming
all right how we wait how long have we been waiting and how long has its poop once they’ve been waiting about 5 minutes okay it’s a standard number to wait this mother fucker ready to go all right I was knocking pretty hard did you add that into the role
yeah
and the wind in that didn’t do anything well it made noise but he didn’t respond I think he said maybe he was scared I’m going to open the window okay I take like
my Elvis played
and then I stick like just the tip underneath the crack of the window and I use it as like a like out level ever well how would you do know this is why I’m not laughing at your methodology and then I probably it’ll probably take a couple cuz you know when you do like the butter knife think it kind of it doesn’t get under the right away but I get it you know when you get there yeah I kind of I go back and forth a little bit to get it underneath
are you rolling the dice table what are you going to see what you are doing okay I open the window and go hey you can see you can see shrove he’s he’s standing up like kind of in a corner not near the toilet or anything to use during their which like he’s been seeing you knocking on the window and then slowly working it open right so you just staring at you he’s he’s like an older he’s an older black guy wearing like kind of glasses and he’s he’s got these big thick long dreads anywhere is like the the the clothes of a scholar and yeah he’s he looks he looks like he’s seen crazier shit than this but at the same time it’s like what it what what why would anyone want to see what’s in a bathroom that’s going to look he’s got okay
all right so you’re looking at him he’s looking at you
for how long
until he does something until he does some alright well then after about 20 seconds of this he starts slowly inching to the door lock eyes with him and follow him like my you slowly makes his way towards the door anytime I know you’re probably not making him do this with your mind open set
and I cast Slayer to Dazzle him alright
I’m going to cancel the fact that this guy was here to spell what’s it what’s your wisdom score
what’s your weapon score
my wisdom is sorry
wizard wizard
it doesn’t matter he didn’t roll high enough sorry he he gets dazzled what would you said Flair 19 wisdom
the dazzle dazzle to I mean I’m looking inside the bathroom how does Lizzie completely then into the bathroom with the dazzled Trove okay do it I’m trying not to right now make it a big deal it is a big deal like it’s obvious you know I will pick magical display all right you do that you noticed I mean everything happened so fast you know so to speak or whatever but you do notice that when this Wendy’s event start on fulling literally everyone in the tavern like leaves to their feet and starts moving towards you but you’re in the bathroom now
right but then Dan shoved everyone in the bathroom so I stay in the corridor leading in there and I pull out my sheleighly ready for action all right you can’t do that because he got a cast of this a spell first play Liza’s spell so you have the cast that before and you don’t have enough actions currently to cast two spells in the turn could get into the bathroom with us a joke that will do it is the window big enough for me to crawl inside destination I was thinking maybe we go out
so I’m going to do this
he’s he’s he’s giving a boost to come down but first things first I’m I say throw
can you hear me yeah for sure we want patches gem which you may know as just the gym
it’s not yours where is it
I don’t know what you’re talkin about here come the pain shrove
I’m still doing this you’re still Bruce Boudreau I take you out of this bathroom without knowing anything about the gym
you’re as good as dead it’s not going to go well for you and yours is good as dead this is your last chance we’re from the church okay
nice we’re from people that are better than you at taking gyms and getting away with it
I want to sit can I search him is there like a Frisk move this is like going to have it but I just want to see what’s in his pockets
you moved to Frisk him but his hand is like lightning and he shoots out he didn’t even see was holding a dagger but he slices you God damn it for five damage to a regular action in the bathroom you should yeah you can get something I think it’s dance turns for dance you’ve been stabbed now in in mid mid free reflexively of someone stabbing me inflict moderate wounds all right so do you see or touch attack it’s on the other side it’ll be kind of towards your tax to the left left yeah around there took you to touch 11 that’s not.
unless he’s flat-footed he’s not but you grab them
you grab them and your little hold on a second ago
let me look touch deals 2D 8 + 1 damage per level right again or Jews is through his body as he takes 11 damage song
sorry if there’s a verbal component to my spot while it’s okay
all right how close am I to him you’re maybe 10 feet but you’re kind of coming through the window right shoulder are you inside the bathroom arm could be if you can’t you can’t read speed have to be in the bathroom talking to reach him in the bathroom so no right going to roll know you can’t reach him
you can move to him and then you’d be able to reach him
move the window move through the window yet that’s why there any rocks yeah there’s some rocks
all right
you got a critical fail so you win Jeff in the head with a rock
I didn’t mean to Wayne you you hit him for five why did you
windmill
her husband is the guy that stabbed me trying to help him I’m trying to help I’m trying to help can I view in the one that said stay outside so I can use entangle
not close enough it’s too far away. Okay
all right
sheleighly alright I turn my my my quarterstaff initial alien just fucking Wacom right in the head
all right you hit him for 7 damage in the head guys got to die soon right stay strong attacks but pretty pretty solid gold and Dazed and Confused but I’m going to aim at his legs
make it harder to get out of the way because I have been hurt before will first as everyone else has turned so so shrove he kind of you kind of ducks down into a ball like a crowd and then Dark Energy emanates out from him and he’s going to where’s the bathroom in darkness
luckily the windows open all the darkness is spilling out of the window it’s getting dark because of the window Nono out of the window as if it were like a very bright room with light leaking out but dark wait hold on I smashed in but you can’t you can’t really see because it’s dark so so a blinding flash of light behind you kind of opens up and you see a crush of people pressing in but no one can really see so well so just there’s you know it’s like a cartoon scuffle right now and someone in here
yeah yeah there’s there’s V the Blazing they’re hitting you they’re hitting everyone Shepherd and yeah I’m outside I’m protected by the outside that’s correct thank you that you keep throwing rocks at me just once just once
these are only two connect one hits Javon one hits Dan
I get XP double together
I want to get this guy out the window yeah alright I reach my hand in you do that yeah I know how many hits do I take you took a damaged and took for damage to see what I mean yeah like negative like yeah but there’s it’s getting it it’s like day outside right in this dark it does nothing you don’t know you’ve never tried that
I tried that you try it yeah it does nothing it’s too dark
magic magic at Art School Jesus no
okay cards in there
I think it’s Dan starting off okay well I’m grabbing where I think strove is and I’m not gonna shove him toward the window cuz I’m like we going to get this guy out of here
and I’m kind of hoping and shoving him that I’m like I kind of want to be like a badass but I don’t know I’m not like I want to like hit it
not only am I not avoiding hitting his head like I kind of hope I do like I want to Steven Seagal them I know I can’t but I want to so you’re grabbing them and you’re doing what you’re pushing them somewhere grabbing him and shoving him toward the window with the intent of of getting him a nut close enough to the window that diarrhea Junior out there can start grabbing him like my my long-term goal is get him out like like like this get him incapacitated and shoved out the window okay yeah you you grab someone that you feel like might be him and you start ushering towards the door to the window and as you do that you take some more punches great only two of them have so fun I don’t like the sound of somebody you take 5 damage off of that damn it you get to the window though
set white 14 for you and yeah
ghosted
death of innocence innocence I have like eight left that’s not bad I mean it’s not crying but it’s not bad alright you think he’s to the window yeah for you you know you’re to that window unless you got turned around somehow
Kratom diarrhea
I grab them all right you grab them
and I can’t see anything cuz I’m looking into the dark right yeah but behind me is is is daylight.
He’s so offended not just four years learning how light works and then invented at the Milwaukee Institute of Art
he’s so mad at the idea of Dark Being able to eighty years ago it’s magic all right so I started yanking on whatever whoever I’m holding on when I’m pulling and yanking and pulling
yeah yeah you do that you can I’m about halfway out you don’t get them full of out because you had bad footing or something like your back hurt something like that but you get him halfway out and I’m aware enough to be shouting the whole time I don’t know if this is him who is it who is it I don’t want to make a call and I cast it on the the ceiling took since the object the ceiling is shining like it like that like like a charge right just like right you can’t stand that you see that stuff done faintest of light pulses but it’s almost immediately wiped out it’s not strong enough to pierce the magical Darkness fuck me God damnit
that’s it that’s all you can move through a proof at least in a minute since we now know you’re not being shoved out a window where the weather like in sound like a strobe light flash of just a vicious melee it seems like most of the The Tavern people are just punching each other but they’re kind of punch him in all directions bathroom we just filled with people punching oh yeah it’s a it’s a bad you can’t take two steps without catching a punch
got the window so that’s my turn no you can move him how much how much d’ye do I take you I just ate didn’t that they don’t they don’t hurt that bad you you take some some like but like their wrist isn’t straight or something like it doesn’t connect our title how much do you do it to the wrist isn’t straight I don’t know I think you’re actually supposed to keep it better something to break your thumb so hard I hurt myself like that’s how you t e d
that is how UTD I think I punch someone wants that’s not true of people damn they’re a little kids to what you think about that and this is Lana pushed a lot of fucking little kids are you are kind of sandwich between the you think is shrove and robbed robbed and yeah Jeff is kind of in the mix there to my goal can see if I go in my long-term goal is as how if that if that dude was Shropshire of which I’m not questioning I’m just like I grab that person shoving them like a package out the window and my hope is to go out after though cuz I ain’t going out to the bathroom don’t ya
so you do that you push you push the guys through and the window is now clear for Access if you want to squeeze through doing you do that easy access to take one more punch on the button you take 60 damage to have I have some hills Bells with some good berries I can throw a rock through the window and then my friend
but I’m I’m I’m saying it’s not funny I know it’s not funny I’m sorry it’s not funny you’re right isn’t it funny but where the sun don’t shine out the window like crying blood because someone I know it’s one of those kids from where that that that back then a horrible orphanage
I’m outside you do that Windows like a Lily Tomlin doing that you do it’s him money instead of making it dark in the bathroom
you have an action but you can’t move spell know you could do is spell a throw I summon Nature’s Ally and throw a bear into the stuff they have to deal with that she nicely that goes great because that I know it’s not my turn I’m going to close the window in the we’re going to we’re going to put four in a bone out with straw covering shrove like with my body I’m just because I just don’t want him to get away right out of here
arm and I start shaking I’m going to go we got to get him out of here we are get you out of here around to see if there’s a place that we can I do somewhere we are get you out of here please doing better how long do you think you’ll never forget your kind of between the back row of the market buildings and then the outer wall of the town so it’s kind of a natural Ally but it’s also like it’s in an area that’s heavily populated so unless like you get some
out of line of sight or something and I don’t know what am I wearing
any type of robe is he wearing clothes like me or not you’re wearing colorful clothes I don’t know what kind of okay kid kid again because he’s going to put a jacket over there over Astros head in fact also I bought I got the robe I got that robe robe I bought this robe robe from the homeless guy just take that from rap rap is heading that way
the bloody shrub whatever you want his head like Paparazzi avoid the voice
you don’t want to see this he’s so ugly he stabs you what I took the dagger know you change your greeting for my T S 5 demo derby arm shaking
incapacitate this guy he went to punch him in the butt I almost kill him
does what are you guys doing what is this you’re not taking me but why I’m going to kill you hey hey hey I do have patches gym I don’t know what you’re talking about who are ashes to find Patches gem that sounds like is that a famous person that Jim you prick you fucking waylaid us on the highway coming from the little little knock over the fuck I got my character would remember this stuff cuz I’m like the town doctor I don’t I don’t leave like I have a lot of chronic patients and stuff I’m not just going around hanging out where did you get this rope you piece of shit I found it at the theater you work at the theater right yeah so I was like well this bloody robe seems too dirty to be with the other costume Rihanna going to get rid of this and there is a naked man and that works out great
you’re a fuking idiot liar okay
I take his dagger. Do I have his dagger yeah I seven back
you stabbed him on the other foot keeps to have it
all right deal 5 damage
all right well he is screaming out in pain and you haven’t really made distance between you and the back of the tavern to start that we should read it somewhere if you see a group of people rounding the corner on one side okay let’s get the hell out of here
Church of the silver flame dishes and silver flame flame don’t give a shit we don’t give a shit is a rope over his face he’s really ugly you don’t want to see this person just round round a different keep rounded Corners find something more profitable to look at is this you forget a million things to do they make this one of them I hear there’s an interesting dark bathroom with some animal life
can I can I cast a spell
I produce flame and I just hold a flame in my hand
yeah I don’t like it can I cancel them both hands or just hold a flame of his life just hold Wednesday I think the produce flame with you have a couple Flames cuz I just
I just called claims and both hands and who wants ticket
how do you like your ribs ribs ribs and they know you asked him I asked
it doesn’t matter whether I have to look at the crowd of people how they like their rib do you feel lucky punk or saying to the person that you’re going to burn how do you like your ribs ribs but it doesn’t matter it doesn’t matter I still take the most confusing thing in the world I am now at a gnome holding two Fireballs in my hands right look at this crowd of people like how do you like your ribs
cliffhanger
2nd and Roberts Drive everybody
letter for church, Sarah Chris Zak everybody here at the wonderful starburns Industries can’t hold pressure Crittenden if your game master not Jeff Davidson accountant trailer gen Honda dress pants take chances
we got a guy on the toilet and no
I don’t know what to do if I can happening Jack Makita put a beat on you little beaver
Yelp Yelp bonus check rap good we got our furniture and put toothbrushes and Bobby beaches in mail a dog and order a dog and Warby Parker in Squarespace in shop space in middle space
yep
the bad cats game is here to say we’re going to pay for ads in a medieval way we’re going to give you three grand and okay
yo
little prancing pony is little prancing gentleman little prancing ponies bring them to the stable when they’re rode hard left try going in the field eat boo boo lollipop rainbows little ran sing by MC Prancer Tony here to tell you, brownie going to eat the cinnamon we going to ride with my pony feet of a rainbow Ranch go to Rainbow Town made another prancing pony in it frowned and he’ll say what’s up the same give me a rainbow cup
makeup with rainbows in it fuck your mama so I had I didn’t win it I was in
little prancing ponies with a bucket of ice
little dancing whole and he’s big and nice
little gentleman with Hoops for heat little gentleman France into the beat unicorns aren’t allowed here it’s only ponies have fear if you’re a unicorn then you’re not pureborn you got the horn on your head Pony cookie with Dad everyday I miss Peregrine dick unicorns are like dolphins and sharks when they see each other this fucking shit is on
all right I really wish I was never right