Episode: 278 – I Will Put Your Kids on Blast

Episode

Episode: 278 – I Will Put Your Kids on Blast

Description

The Walking Dead creator, Robert Kirkman, joins Rob Schrab on stage to talk comics, writing and more. Dan tries putting things on blast, to varying success. Jeff plays a listener submitted remix of Schrab’s dog’s freakout. Featuring Dan Harmon, Jeff Br…

Transcript

where’s the where’s the hardcore metal one
was it really a fucking hardcore like granny one
Robson wonderful to
which one do you like better
I’m fantastic Uptown Burbank pretty groovy chicken hands together for the Gamemaster extraordinaire with Sarah Spencer Crittenden
hell yeah
president going to wrap really slow if I do that I might keep the flow that’s all I got I think I think I’m really a bad a rapping put your hands together out there in the podcast land for the mayor of
did you hear that I felt like I was going to be a slow rap battle right now
now I think we’re not expensive cut that shit running from my slow fire I got I got no problem admitting that we’ve heard my wrapping the last six months I mean not that it was better before that but it’s gotten now it’s gotten bad am sterile I like it like it used to be interesting when I was a surgeon that worked with a rusty spoon and then and then I washed and cleaned the spoon and replaced it with one from Target
creatively speaking it’s still good don’t mean to offend any target employees out there like 4:15 when I will wage socialism let’s all share money until we die
just not mine
hope you’re in the mood for a bad show tonight
what are you going to take your business elsewhere we got so many good things but I just I said bad to be facetious and self kind of deprecating I was okay not really I’m not feeling I’m not excite remember when I was all excited about killer bees and going into the lake would that we could go back to then by the multiple tweet story about how a friend of hit he’s named after his best friend’s dad who died in a bee attack they found him drowned with bees in his throat say this directly but I’m I’m going to go ahead and assume that he was trying to in your face is like a be like like trying to save your life know he was trying to say I got
I’m the guy you’re looking for I’m the guy at the story about a bee attack where someone died because they jumped in water doesn’t work and it and I like I told the guy on Twitter look you brought your friend’s dad goes to the courtroom so I’m not being insensitive to his life I want your friend and his dad to be respected but since you since he’s exhibited a I have to be clinical about and say this doesn’t prove anything. I know that if killer bees are chasing you and you jump into water they may be able to wait for you monitor your carbon dioxide Bubbles and when you stick your head above water fly into your nose and mouth sting you and and effectively kill you like Jason Voorhees in the deleted scene of the Derrick mirrors version where Jason Voorhees just stand outside Crystal Lake so that the woman who’s trying to get her away from in my swimming just she just slowly drowns he’s walking around here
keep swimming to each side of Crystal Lake and then Jason just walks around the lake and watches her drown he’s like a one-man beehive movie I did I remember seeing that Derek describing that to me and I was like this confirms that this Friday the 13 reboot will be not the Final Chapter
cuz it sounds awesome someone someone thought of that I like that I like I like it when brutality it isn’t just to torture pouring when it’s more like his torture porn because think of a new way to kill a lady alright well I guess that franchise deserve to die okay I like the figure-skating yeah
why
the spinning the Triumph of the human will
Beyonce Dan’s going to get up at work Corner in that thing
hey a lympics
yeah I know I’m not going to lie I know it’s 2018 and Dan Harmon hasn’t had a year where anyone going to him for opinions about what’s sexually is scintillating I’m not a popular source of that information it’s no longer Charming for me to talk about the things that make me excited to like what you like without crossing a line cuz it’s not charismatic cuz I got all kinds of stuff I know that’s not really what’s for sale with me but I but I but you brought it up look I figure skate but female figure skating outfits are how I wish everyone dressed and normal life and you sure I’ll do any
yeah it is a very 80s is very good of the Gauzy skirts and just that I look at the outfits in the outfits are titillating but it truly is it clearly is also the motion the grace you know that the things that are difficult that somehow are also that’s it makes the person beautiful so you keep going back and forth like I will since you guys are subscribers and no one else is going to hear this I will tell you I did try to masturbate to figure skating this year
for disability if I could get you tried unsuccessfully I didn’t like stay on it ended up going to Pornhub premium and typing figure skating cuz I was like oh wait a minute what if I was trying to masturbate to I women’s biathlon with this key and shoots Brother if they can take him during the commercial
oh yeah as long as our objective Olympia it’s interesting the curling everybody’s crazy about the Korean curlers in the many guys I think the US men’s team maybe he could get upset like I think you can’t get upset me talking about outfits on figure skater so I don’t want to I don’t want to go into the sweetest curling team
what time do the men’s and women’s let’s say them in okay give me out of this dog house all right let’s move on the gold medal about was happening between the US and was it the Swiss I believe I think so I think it was the Swiss and they never won in Canada has never lost those the first Olympics where Canada didn’t get a medal in curling or hockey for the men and I was very excited and then I stopped going to church and two other guys had a Red Bull caps on one guy’s was the bill with rounded like it like a ballplayer the other guys was kind of flat like kind of a mega like trumpy hat and it kind of put a little bit of like I think the hours between 1 and 2 a.m. in Vancouver Googling and searching through Twitter to see if the men’s
steamer trunk
I don’t want to ask the curling questions and everybody asks why is it a sport like one since it is a sport why hasn’t anyone gotten so good at putting the puck where it belongs that you actually need sleepy people to guide it to its spot like white wouldn’t it be the best rated U-Haul you put a little spin on it and can speed it up and I should give it a little kind of furrow to go in so you can you can give it like left or right angle you could say all of these things about a dart in the air like there’s it’s not part of darts that a helicopter comes down like lassos a dart or someone blows on it it’s not pretty shuffleboards at someone like boils the path in front of the shuffleboard book why is it why is curling not just for that doesn’t know what a freeze or a draw or address to suggest that something’s more Olympic then something else I don’t care if the kids are having a good time I’m happy for him curling it’s really about the yardage but I am
I am kind of surprised exactly the weather yet figure skating to call most feel like I’m like I’m causing trouble for myself by bringing it up but you can’t help but sit there and these Changing Times and watch figure skating ago just seems like a bit of a throwback at this point throwback for which I am eternally grateful but but I kind of actually remarkable that no one’s come in and put some pants on these women for god sakes we see the guys can skate and pants what are we waiting on them like Playboy bunny I don’t think any any sport that’s like inspired a hit is up for a revision yeah it’s worth a lot of money and also like you don’t but it’s probably all so it’ll be slow to change because of the amount of discipline like no one’s change how ballet dancers carry themselves like they’re it’s such a
at such a difficult honor to become a ballet dancer in you know of right along the way as like going to allow themselves to be distracted by questions about whether they should be doing this thing that they’ve been doing since I’ve been 3 years old is crazy I mean I’ve heard that there’s like something called a quad jump that’s changing up the figure skating game for Cascade Atlanta the first quad and women of the Quad some like that this is the year that I finally I think as part of its like getting middle-aged like maybe I might hormones of tapered enough that I really am just noticing how beautiful how gracefully you know how much appreciative of the actual discipline in like 4 years two years per summer winter but four years again
I did it but it was probably still just like that’s hot you hadn’t even thought about it but that is the sport like that gracefulness like gummy worms another just like you said it’s like ballet but like that is you know that’s that’s I think what the judges are looking for and stuff so that is yeah that’s what they are mastering definitely do you think we need to see their their legs in sheer I think they were pulling off the Electoral want to do it like that bad that you feeling
keep stealing Olympics disappointing but you suspect especially the ones that don’t opt for the for the flesh colored over the skate
tight pants thing that turns your leg into an ice skate I like two speed skaters cuz they got out there with giant has knives in their feet and the right the right and right close to each other when they wipe out it’s just knives flying around I need to go sailing into a into a padded wall and it’s like it’s Rich pretty excited we are talking to these people can get all of them it’s like it’s hard as it looks I can’t even roller skate without like breaking my ass I was just easier than ice skating I still just like I’ll just stand on my ankles like I just want to wait until we figure out it’s not a good idea to be throughout this
all right well that’s enough of that
pink eye
what’s the last weight since I’ve last thing it really he’s dropped it he’s dropped a belt size
for real no for real I had to punch it get a punch it well I don’t know that I had told you that you’re such a good assistant you had to punch a new hole in his belt that you have a letter all on you at all times I borrowed in January of 2018 and then I basically have now been doing it every morning every morning I had weights with the Dave Klein from Hermantown bearded Guru in the foreground and you’re in front of a green screen and I have to tell Dave hi to take a shirt off and he’s like no not about me brother it’s about Dan and Mike but also come on
I see he’s a personal trainer see if they’ve got them, what do you think he’s walking under that shirt it can’t be a washboard right if he if he if he takes his shirt off it’s over for him yeah I can’t be a washboard are you being sarcastic no I’m just going to say it just to put it out there that I think he said he’s right here as Comptroller of harmontown the United States of America planet Earth issue a challenge Dave Klein take that shirt off take it off we should have a man here he can take his shirt off on here let’s let’s let’s let’s let’s continue our fitness theme of the evening by bringing up my brother in body type and also a genius I argue really but we can just we can talk about this I think I think we’re both equally genius let’s bring up The Walking Dead Creator Robert Kirkman
Robert Kirkman everybody and you pick a stool you pick up my answer one yeah whatever you want here could be sorry to see you go but you’re right the world is your red carpet that would be awesome that would be amazing be sick are you sick of being having a guys like me to talk about you like a hunk of money
like like you know like that’s okay right I’m proud to to know a guy from the 90s black and white comic book World know that that turned it into like something like that like on television every week or something ridiculous crazy but you know it’s a little weird it’s not something I think about 24/7 so when people say it I’m kind of like but if you’re not the only one that happens a lot just tell us something like in the last in your head as a moment when you’re like Jesus Christ that’s really rich
about yourself so you were like someone came up to you and said can I have a car and you were like yeah and then there’s like driveway or like whoa that’s not me
we might give that guy a car I’ve never given anyone a car well I mean can family members card
don’t worry about that yeah I’d rather have you ever given anybody a free iPad and not lorded it over them
yeah you have me chat actually very interesting to hear her borrow it every Apple TV movie cuz I want to watch it on my other other devices but they ran if it’s like a found-footage Canadian horror movie rentals
maybe it’s psychotic I’ll go ahead and get that but I will often you know by movies on iTunes but at the same time if I catch my wife buying something on iTunes like a real housewives of wherever and I know what’s available on another app that was inscribed 2 for free I’ll be like hey come on why you doing that we wasted $3 for but I will annoy her to a point where she gets mad at me you’re not being miserly that’s that’s that’s a redditor saying that’s your ass be brain like it’s a logic addiction you’re like can’t check Hulu for the Apple trap yeah the highest ratio of weight I don’t know how to pray that it’s the the highest ratio of disposable income to total unacceptance of like throwing money away like
probably pretty rich talk so meticulously about what they’re getting for $3 here $2 there like is that it is it’s like it cuz they’ll give $50 to the Red Cross if they see a hurricane like they’re good people that they’re they’re not miserly but if they’re addicted to logic they don’t want to be a sucker exactly or two a week for an entire year we’re looking like a hundred dollars alright quit making your wife mad at you this matters anytime I do the math it’s like this doesn’t add up to I shouldn’t have even done the math
we have some black and red question is dead I’ve been afraid to ask what like what happens after they leave the prison
I’ve been afraid to ask. Cuz it’s make French toast every question that you can ask like that they find another the guy with a bat that has barbed wire on the back now that’s it he looks like he’s going to be a problem I haven’t watched it since I left the prison it’s not because I don’t and I I but asked a simple Scott gimple I went to dinner with him and I was like holy it was right after The Prisoner happen when they left the prison your buddy you haven’t watched any of his episodes at all and now you just I don’t know maybe I haven’t watched it when you want to do a run-through so they leave the prison and then go to this place called Terminus and then I’m not going to be careful
no offense I don’t watch a lot of TV shows I’ve never seen one second of Walking Dead even how many seasons has been on for now we’re just starting out of the back half of season 8 Jesus Christ Walking Dead than anyone can and it’s a strong 8 because there’s not like three shows coming off of it there’s a there’s a cooking deer The Walking Dead there’s a there’s a cooking dead kids who make food who are zombies Chris Hardwick like like sits in a bathtub and talks about walking dead in two different shows and then there’s an actual other Walking Dead show your the water stripping dead where they just show pages from the script slowly turn that could be his fear of The Walking Dead
Maroon 5 so I’m not going outside I’m staying indoors has that been critically creatively financially out of run through the metric after season 8 we got to Andrew chambliss and Ian Goldberg taking over his showrunners this season we get this character Morgan from The Walking Dead’s going to be jumping over. Can I tell me it’s going to be a cool new season going to help Morgan doesn’t judge them for being such scaredy-cats I think you will find been up to my ears in these things in your at you have a show about being scared of them
what is as it’s like it’s like when it’s like when Jerry Orbach went over to the trial by jury Law & Order so I can kind of retirement to Golden parachute for this Morgan character going to go chill out and then be scared of The Walking Dead The Walking Dead show to Walking Dead show so that when we put up a new show it’s like okay I know Morgan’s going to this one to how many Walking Dead’s are there how many zombies like how many of The Walking Dead like look at population-wise keep those numbers who knows you wouldn’t happen to be worse any new season that comes out there going to be like based on the billion zombies that we know we’re on this planet this can’t possibly be the amount of zombies
in this Walmart or like whatever they’re going to film and Benchmark of 2018 on exactly how it broke down but percent of the population remained human and they’d each killed like 5 zombies a week and every other living person was turned into a zombie they would kill all the zombies in like a month some kind of crazy I know are walking dead fans maybe it’ll start a conversation are walking dead fans compared to other fandoms use seen are they are they more or less obsessed with stuff like that or are they more like chill like it’s not about the science or are they just a game I mean there are you know I get I get those essays or I know you clearly meant this was going to happen
listen but I mean there’s you know there’s there’s there’s chill fans and there’s a really crazy fans which I think are awesome I mean anytime I get a goddamn like 30 page book report on like 2 minutes seen them like man the best thing I’ve ever ate the whole thing I’m like this is insane Emerson am I still like that like that it’s like it’s like if you ran a casino at when you see somebody on the sidewalk crying or like I still got it
so Dan you didn’t read my 20 page essay on community I mean I thought I was offended by the title. It was we all we all missed Donald you don’t have to dig into the show when it’s at its weak point that you just also finished you’re just telling me right before we came in under fifteen years of invincible yes your other comic book yeah yeah the last time she came out last weekend so he didn’t did he become visible he died that I did it three times already
4.4 points at the end of the book spoiler alert is it easy or hard to end in a 15-year long comic book series I mean when I was writing the last issue I kept coming up with more ideas for the next issue so yeah I’ve been with these characters for every month to get you for 15 years and Robert Kirkman arrest me and no one will be allowed to because of the money to do the math like I’m going to be broke by like 60 to hoping to live longer than 62 you have you have Drew Carey money right now as in like you have so much money to or false that I can host
Texas right she’s giving away like that’s all excited over that cost stick it up your ass stupid housewife the 25 but the why did he say that it’s the price of Rice-A-Roni come I keep the show you know we don’t do anything was making my bed and Rice-A-Roni okay why I don’t think it’s a very we get back to me but fifteen years every month like a guy and we can Segway into bringing up an old friend of ours for better for worse like I mean I just I watched schraub
work that circuit like I mean that’s pretty remarkable that you kept doing it and truly yeah you didn’t have to anymore I mean it’s sentimental everything but it is the thing I love to do I mean it’s a thing I wanted to do when I grew up and then I and I was fortunate enough to do it I don’t care about television Walking Dead is a show I enjoy working at it if it’s a fun thing money is great but you know my true passion is comic books and ride over to get me being able to do a story for 15 years was all I ever wanted as a kid you are you read Peter Davis Incredible Hulk run or walk Simonson’s run on Thor or any other books that most people who are listening to this probably has no idea what I’m talking about but it’s something that yeah I always grew up going home and I would it be nice to be able to do that and so you know how to get to a point where I could do it in to stop you know my inner child would have been angry and I guess I don’t have that I’m like what
not likely don’t know passion I mean I always liked writing but I think it’s cuz it made me feel safe from Planet of fucking drooling idiots that were it otherwise they seem to enjoy it when I do this like their blood lust in their eyes like simmers down for a second I might make it to retirement but now I’m like how do I get out money out anyway
when it’s time for trapping is coming you need rabbit trap
is Rob’s hello thank you for letting me know
was my choice to of the most successful comic book artist to most successful comic book artists of the face of the Earth in the middle of this building right now to the most successful comic book artist
ever
in comic books would be no more off the face of the Earth you were saying danbom starting to sound more and more appealing oh yeah you have no idea I’d learn how to draw women
God damn oh here we go
their chins are Center
yeah I’ve been up tomorrow man I’ve been up and do it well doesn’t have to be thinned if you have to be a woman I’m woke me and I’ll call you a hero Tumblr
I’m not fucking mom I’m fucking Beyond woke I’m so it woke like I’m not at all the thing I forgot to take it that’s why I that’s why the show sucks it doesn’t know it sucks it’s totally fine I’ve done terrible things like I never know that this is where I go why well because because it because it’s like it’s a it’s a it’s a genuine like it’s hobby like I just said no requirement I’ll have passion for 15 years but I think having a hobby is obviously both in terms of your longevity and the quality of your output in your continued and the Bendigo healthy glow in your eyes like a person who
my therapist would would say to me see Dan he doesn’t turn what he loves into a nightmare so that he can be more comfortable doing it like he doesn’t have a relationship with what he loves that’s all like that’s that’s all you got going on so you don’t need a hobby good for you but you do fuck off like a little side thing you do like model airplanes are you like to do that I got your pet groomer or drawn right yeah I think I’m all the way on working time. So yeah let you have it is definitely old cliche of man I can’t wait till this vacation’s over so I get back to work
occu
now that is good I mean at the end and endemic everybody that I say like I want to retire you know they go like you’re never going to retire in a fist fight in Bleach necessary for no one got hurt for a long time and no one got hurt. I was I was I was in a Laguna Beach Bar fight that’s exactly what I was I was that Cody was so impressed as I can’t believe you got up and intervened and like no one that it was that’s like jury duty is there was an old guy and then like this like middle-aged guys like I couldn’t tell which one voted for Trump had no idea obviously someone dead or this wouldn’t be happening there like yelling and start yelling at each other and then and then and then at one point they both stood up and they like me and the other two dudes in the bar both like like a rolling our eyes I got up off the bar stools like really slowly
Shuffle Dover there to break up two guys who were never actually going to fight cuz they’re both so old and was at Laguna Beach bar fight
and the funny thing is like Cody was like she’s like wait I can’t tell which one was the good guy which was a bad guys that she was trying to like eavesdrop on the loudmouth guy to see was he allowed mouth liberal the pissed off the old coot conservative or is that an Old Hippie who whose side were on and is he like some kind of like lashy like loud drunk like a right-wing guy was feeling his oats we couldn’t she kept trying to be able to tell from the things she was over hearing him say what which one he was and it was kind of like it’s Pat sketch because you can say things like well now you sound like a Libertarian and we still don’t know what you are equally outraged it’s it was funny at the time but if that’s really not the best use of your time what else happened
next
when I first came on FX where they’re advertising it in my house
I’ve seen him watch it like he has watched they don’t make television shows what other television shows have they made now okay the Racine the classic movie The Walking Dead TV show when I saw it

I think like an idiot I was like oh I’m so excited I’m going to catch up on the I’m going to reread the the trade paperbacks that I have which it was a dumb move because the first like season was a pretty faithful faithful adaptation to the point where I was like seriously, you were bored that was like I was like I was reading the comments in advance of watching a show cuz I was like watching the TV show it was like why I read that
that’s all then I got excited when he started deviating I was like how they’re going to deviate was there a big conversation about that and what side were you on and how did that go with the weird process because I’m in the writers room a lot more on the earlier season and you know they’re talking about like well we can’t do this cuz that didn’t really work out work fine but you know that a little awkward sometimes but I really enjoyed it and and it’s very humbling to be in a room of writers that are picking apart you know the thing that you wrote and in trying to turn into it a TV show I think the only way I was able to keep my sanity is because I started walking when I was twenty-three and then you know I’m like 28 or so when the show started and so if stuff is like 5 years in my rearview and so I can be like yeah I left that didn’t work I wasn’t anywhere near me
but then and I was always the one that would push to change things because I don’t know if I’m an asshole or or what but I mean I I love being surprised and it’s one of the things I enjoy most out of my entertainment like when I don’t see something coming it’s that’s what I’m like oh that’s the message I wish I had paid an actor to be dressed as a zombie and then come lumbering out here right now behind you just to scare me, yeah instead of doing this. What’s going on like you you’re you’re
do anyway
Robert let me tell you about what I did in Laguna Beach Rob’s it’s here let’s bring on Dick Cavett Dick Cavett come out in
me talk to everybody else but Dick Cavett and you’re also I’ve been talking to this fucking guy but Walking Dead for the last 5 minutes will you roll your eyes within my I shot you got some in your eyes. I’m in your eyes where are you directors, I don’t give a fuk fuk an art school pussies sorry Robert rolling my eyes
field of view that’s what it’s called your equal parts mad that I’m talking about Laguna Beach and then I’m talking to our guests visit to the Robert Kirkman so I don’t think you’re a hero Heroes not high road me about my hosting skills if I if I do an in-depth Charlie Kaufman Kaufman what do you call a locksmith Charlie Rose interview with Robert Kirkman you’re going to be here to be more sad than then all the Laguna Beach to anecdotes in the world would make you you begin to be incensed
what’s going on with you I don’t know what what do you mean I got one of those bidet toilet seats that you have but it wasn’t great it won’t fit on my toilet and the toilet when do you use a bidet mind what the hotel the head of the day and just too wet so it’s attached but you can put on your existing toilet I put the new one on his kind of heated is heated seat in yours is like this weird that there was You music massages you a lot of buttons on that I need to upgrade need to go to the bidet Apple Store in upgrade that chit give me some get me some new apps you know you guys share is artist is it is a very storyboard Style
well thank you Dan thanks so I don’t care much for the days on it and how is it shoots water up your butt yeah it’s more of a nozzle it’s like an upside-down spray bottle how do you work on the aim of those things but you got to get like during it be remastered but nothing as we stated in very like you know cuz it was an English colony for so long very very westernized hotels so they were numbered Days Inn Hotels we say that but a couple of the place we went to like nice restaurants in nice areas in the men’s room in the women’s room to
next to the toilet and there’s no paper at all so you supposed to get off your butt and then butt and you pull your pants up drip-dry play the people outside waiting to hold you down for it but you just bring non into the bathroom with you
I bring some papadum that not okay
that must that must be they must be there must be some good Indian food if they got like hoses for your buck
you’re going to want a hose your ass hole given the choice between a roll of toilet paper and water the restrooms at nice restaurants that had no paper at all anywhere and that you couldn’t even go get a paper towel and bring it into the thing with you you had a hose on the ground that presumably everybody that ever taken a poop there has recently used and you got to stick it up your butt people know how to do that without spraying down metal building because then they probably haven’t had a toilet paper culture for relocating from Rich to poor like they just don’t use toilet paper
what is Andy Warhol
I do have it but it didn’t look wet
and people have been pooping in their items obviously they know how to do it delicately but then I am my main thing is now you got a wet butt and a wet Crunch and then you just pull up your wet poopy drawers to have dessert ostensibly they’re just taking a big giant schitt and then got in right in the shower right now, not wiping not it. You Kirkman come on I’ll look at us taking a shit so bad that I’ve been had to take a shower afterwards even after I’ve cleaned up just say there’s no way I’ve handled this how old are you kids 11 and eight and 3rd muster 9 and 12 so
see I shit in the shower so I’m going to even if we don’t go to the creepy creepy place it’s just a dumb reaction to have its biological amount
I will give you the benefit of the doubt that that to me that was you making a sound to cover the fact that you could not care less about my children and you regret it asking that question are like why did I see my kids I don’t have a kids bad interviewer nervous tick like I need to have a reaction but it wasn’t because it was I’d love to talk to a genius about I haven’t kids cuz I died it’s not to put you on the spot but I’m sure you’re going to say things that no one ever said let’s hear it 27
oh respectable age 21 22 23 so we are we work in early late late in the game at 27
yeah same thing I mean it’s kind of like basically like the two cities that dinosaurs in King Kong don’t attack in the movies wait or do attack those are the only exception is everywhere else I think people get married pretty pretty quickly After High School that really what did I do I keep getting texts from Levy like or are you coming out tonight or do you want you to come in right because we’re worried we had that we had to have traveled through the third installment
if it says likely to get King Kong or Godzilla or meteor attack
I have a child I do that any moment you’re going to get Armageddon Godzilla because New York has people that lift things and fish for things but you’ll like these two big cities people go to them because they’re like still not given up on their fucking like I’m going to buy I’m still a baby I’m going to be going to have a big pacifier in my mouth is going to be made of solid gold and sometimes I can take that you’re 45 it’s interesting to be twice the age of the average Rick and Morty viewer and to be like oh this person would be my kid if I had kids when my Wisconsin DNA kind of said that it was time to have kids like this this would be my kid said he’s an idiot any likes your show
that does not make you smart doesn’t make you stupid but it doesn’t make you smile it’s a popular show a lot of idiots love it
Ross Marquand cuz I like I made fun of some kid that said some shity crap about my girlfriend like you know is whatever I go ahead make fun of my girlfriend or make fun of me for being that she’s too hot to be with me so she must be a gold digger First Amendment engaged and now I get to fucking abused you verbally like with all of my Kevin Spacey fucking Venom glands that I never get to inject into a Warner Brothers Executives oh okay good here it is a piece of fucking human garbage and your parents must be ashamed of yourself and then the 40,000 Mi, to put them on blast with peanuts at 200,000 better than any of you live or die stop telling me how to react what happened just now
how do you keep that iPad zombies are followers attacked one of the Instagram sayings and I’m like looking through the aftermath of when I like like put a kid on blast on the rag is the fam says and and it says like there’s a bunch of that you didn’t put them on blast brace yourselves put on blast heat on blast who were the two new vibrating toothbrush head that you get an email absolutely fantastic
hey your wife and you wonder why it is that you have such a shity fans in response to me being shity to one of my shity fans like in other words I’m such a toxic person then I’m going to go ahead and tell a kid to go fuck himself for being a piece of garbage to my girlfriend oh that explains everything that’s why I have shity fans yet everyone I do I cast my being a shity person or it’s a popular show and everyone’s an idiot everyone on Adult Swim is a fine member of society until Rick and Morty actual I don’t create a show that has perfect fans and then I’ll be engage with all of them on the Internet and not kill myself ever a dollar in a reasonably expect not like the ministration but I knew right now it’s a little more secure if you can put anybody on blast right now
fingerboarding guess if you put me on blast to be boring. You got to be so I say we have a blast off right now and get it off your chest and glasses, like doxing right it’s sort of like like I don’t think it’s right that I have you ever clap back with facts now I haven’t got back with that and I’ll have you heard of a clap back with facts of check yo have you heard of a Big Mac attack with two webbed feet and going to wrap real soon and wrap real neat going to tell you about a quack attack people at pak-a-sak Big Mac attack going to do I can’t explain why I want to trip from drugs to fix cuz I live on the rug but I can fly what I want to eat his chicken I can do what I want to up in the air like an all-terrain chicken all-terrain chicken all-terrain chicken I’m a
put it on my bill motherfuker Big Macs Big Macs begins with like a little die like a change it’s always like hey man could you ever heard of a rap attack attack attack is a man even explain what ramp is yet alright maybe they’re trying like
Jimmy rapping about McDonald I think I mean I’m not sure I’m getting what what I’m blast is right well alright what is what is being put on blasting I think maybe Dan should put Jeff on blast
yo-yo
I’m about to put you on blast that mother fucker wants to know if I’m going to put them on blast gas if you’re going to put put on blast because a private class that I’m glad you asked but now you’re on blast we’ll have to ask at the blast you just ask for black on black on black for asking I’m blasting in my hip flask in Jackson vodka now I’m going to say your mama should have gone away she did and that’s not just Mom actually died in real life anymore
Ignatius Davis I’m here to say it’s time for you to go away you’re on blast for the week just behind you keep your voice one time mission accomplished with no more make him feel bad making feel alone it’s what he deserved what he calls me on the phone and said you please put me on blast I’m glad you asked to be sorry you asked for glad I asked but if I use an Indian boy like to wipe your ass but there’s no paper fuck you
call Riley are you trying to wish the both of my parents are dead like throwing shade blast aren’t controllable I’m in there it’s a controlled demolition for the city supervisor present for Grandma’s virginity Justin Roiland podcast that he has point I believe a couple times that like
slightly more professional than this was the room is big though this is a bigger room no definitely not Oblivion Oblivion the song by Robert Kirkman and Lorenzo doesn’t like that you don’t read his book you made wake up that I was just in Italy they do all talk like Mario from the internet today no that was a wolve impression like I was impressed like it is it is exciting when you go to a foreign country and they actually that you meet somebody and they actually do like the thing that you would think would be stereotypical, I probably had it for a long time ago and I’m in town but I got into a car when I got to like Naples was driving and talking anything how many people live in Los Angeles
he was in the front and the back and looking like a fucking doing his chores but he gave me actually give me a full out of Mamma Mia for real they really fucking said they say they say Ooh La La in Italy Paris and Paris yes that’s where they say they say Mamma Mia in Italy Italy and then they say it will take about the Oblivion song
I don’t see any zombies in here now I decided that they don’t come in till later Oblivion song Can you can you reveal that the log line is terrible it’s a complicated idea but to another dimension basically a large landmass in Philadelphia trans poses with a large landmass in another dimension and then our main character of Nathan Cole is a scientist who is tasked with the going to rescue those people but when our story takes place has been 10 years they stop finding people they’ve lost funding and he is still going over there and I doing it because his brother is lost in that Dimension but he’s going to get his black people from the other dimension now populating that part of Philadelphia There’s no people in the other dimension it’s a very primitive alien world with like monsters and.
so they’re going to did ten years ago and they’ve all been cleaned out and there’s like a museum and stuff they’re walking down to the strip from getting some fucking Primanti Brothers and I cannot Pittsburgh try and if your mouth is the land of Decay you should brush it and the way that you can ensure your brush won’t go soft as you use it which way it becomes ineffective that most dentist say you may as well stop we hit yourself in the face with a hammer than keep brushing with your expired shity Target toothbrush go to equip they mail you a new toothbrush head every fucking statistical. Then when you need it it’s a millennial toothbrush gingivitis on blast really keep your mouth out of
there’s no way that Anna Lisa Leone your color is related to Leo Leone the famous children’s book author who left us Leone’s like growing on trees over in Italy yeah probably so how many do you have and what what what I mean how many Jeep what character is playing at the next Comic-Con oh boy right back on the monthly schedule where you just like I got to write an oblivious to all this month I mean we’ve actually been working on that book and secret for almost two years so that I can keep on the monthly schedule that wanting to kill myself that’s all we can I get you 12 right now but if you want comes out in March 7th and so we’re basically a year ahead of schedule is your eleven-year-old smart yes
would you tell me if he was stupid games he doesn’t do the sports and how old is a daughter she’s eight will be 9 so they’re both like asking a lot of questions about the birds and clouds and stuff. Really they’re not answering my questions about birds and clouds and stuff but they’re very creative they’re not coming here, where are they have your like Celebrity Status do you like like like the role you play in that part is frustrating I mean they’re very aware I mean much more aware now that they’re in school because the other kids in school like hear things from their parents or older siblings or whatever and so like my son comes home from school and is like I hear you’re pretty pretty popular and like I was talking about Eddie Van Halen
it says my dad some kind of mucky-muck exactly well there was one cool it was one day where he came home and he was like the middle school kids found out who my dad was
and they were talking to me slowly awesome 13 14 15 year olds were talking to him and so he was like the king of the school for a day so that was nice but but yeah they did the first thing part is like I was on the Conan O’Brien show and so I go ahead and put them on the couch if I was a kid in my dad come home and been like I’m on television I would have jumped up and been like what are you kidding me like holy crap you know I would have lost my mind and I can okay whatever and I turn it on and I like
okay can we go to we have to work today what the hell like they don’t they don’t care either they don’t care because you’re enough without that it’s normal to feel like they’re like oh yeah yeah yeah we can give you a beat so you can put your kids on blast right now if you want to blaze it I want it I want to make them an offer to anyone out there listening we will put your kids on blast if you come on the show me to tell us whatever you wanted about a blast for you so you don’t have to be guilty of it cook your own meals to make check my kids go on blast what are their names
alright where does this one goes out to her and and Heather Kirkman
wait wait wait because you don’t want to sit through it with that went when I was your dad’s age I had to walk uphill both ways to get a fucking guest spot on a talk show fucking Xander Xander Kirkman name is that fucking well I guess that’s your dad picks the name so it’s kind of putting him on blast okay well alright alright and also you’re ugly on the inside and you’re you’re interested school or miss miss miss miss applied like you think soccer is cool because you’re not seeing the big picture you’re going to regret it and how come you haven’t told your dad about your interest in musicals
let’s move on to Heather nice hair
can a couple too many ribbons you think people are going to think you protest too much into that that that that that that that Austin Powers impression you keep doing people are just pretending it’s funny cuz your age Heather Kirkman update your routine has but it really wouldn’t be putting two kids on blast if I didn’t follow up with I think that go to their Instagram and shit on them yeah it’s Xander Kirk underscore 69 real nice
I don’t approve of that one and Heather Heather Heather Doodles underscore 69 best friend underscore tend and befriend underscore I mean I feel bad for these kids names are taking now
but anyways go put her on blast
couple assholes those kids I mean you’re on the last day they’re going to have to straighten up the rack now after hearing this but I’m going to make them listen to this every morning when they could not wake him up with this your names does Xander and Heather of this yeah I guess I ate the middle school kids that they were famous because you’re you when they find out that they’re on blast from Dan Harmon it’s going to really oh my God I guess I regret not having kids do you know why you don’t last yeah yeah well I noticed that like kids like they kind of like they they do like when they’re really young they kind of laugh at silly are characters and my friends don’t want to fight anymore you know like I said
I missed your arm waiver and then like a three-year-old to be like that’s amazing and I was off at 5 and I just want to jump her audience you can find a dumber audience I cannot trust me you just kind of have Dumber material I have a nice I’ve never met Reese’s Puffs hold my nieces right now able to go to my brother’s Facebook that bones is nice. You’re nice is seven oh my God she loves dinosaurs she plays violin that’s what I know about my niece
oh that’s at least 13 she’s been playing it for a while because it’s not like a face and it’s like she’s over on treys during that goes like this I’ve never had kids so I don’t know how it works
I will come home complaints
trap what do that a lot my mother should go I can’t I can’t imagine people doing that a real life oh God damn it was those okay that’s the only worked once to the Traphouse to do that to someone that’s kind of like I don’t understand why being genuine sarcasm I’m playing the world’s smallest violin for you it’s like when people say I could care less or well thank you for caring more than you do yeah I should be the world’s biggest have them but it’s a small violin you shrunk it down like your sarcasm is is that most parents are really bad
work so if you did that’s what I was going to say you couldn’t play the world’s largest mine Violet it’ll be too close to hockanum few pieces of baby boomers ruined my kids some of those like appearance Greatest Hits on your children like smallest violin or I used to walk uphill both ways Everything You Touch turns the shit yeah why don’t you write us a story about a little boy that gets caught playing with matches and live to regret it season coming out all the time why are you complaining I’ll give you something to cry about this room is a mess I’m about to die I’m going to tear it apart using a vacuum cleaner as a blunt
instrument because I’m faced I’m going to vacuum cleaner broadsword to symbolically make your room messier than it ever could have been all right here’s your leg warmers I’m taking you off of the baseball field to jazz dance class time and I said that in front of all of your baseball team. I have questions about looking for mr. Goodbar I can’t I don’t know where to store these books if it’s not in your bedroom
what happens if I don’t get that one very specific
are the peanuts the too small to be peanuts that I will be there in 18 minutes that were rejected from their holding companies like they cut their goodbyes to sweep the floor at the payday Factory
good morning no one will know how bad the candy bar that’s what tater tots are tater tots with it they were making french fries there’s all these locals like shaved ends and it wasn’t all that there’s all this potato debris that kept just throwing away a good percentage of Rue sitting like a pig farm isn’t like I got cattle feed and some Geniuses hey let’s throw some oil in that shit and put them in a little weird barrel-shaped someone to return their fucking there like a little potato hot dogs it’s it’s the debris and it’s great that’s why it’s that that’s why that made it there like that Thunder dog of Bubba’s of the potato world and they’re pretty good the only the only peanuts that are worse than mr. Goodbar peanuts are the ones let me come crushed nuts like that they’ve uses condoms can you imagine what those fuckers did wrong is Black Panther movie is really like burning up the charts you guys seen it is one of those black people are saying it’s really burning up the dry nose come out you get ready go see it
oh man I haven’t seen it but my favorite part called burning up the chart is really saying it’s bring up the burning up the charts that’s a good movie that’s burning up the jar and if they’re starting at the charge number for getting a little medium hot black panther again three black panther number number to haircuts black panther get his whole thing completely
who is the top paid movie good movie The Black Panther armor dry nose at school yeah it’s fun you see it that’s why they keep on setting up all these Rhino horn shaped door you’re just as pouring in it right cuz it take play call in Africa and what kind of like which is a few. I guess they test on human trafficking of Justice
of course for justicepoint yeah I would share justiceporn probably sell your stuff for the sequel don’t drop a beat I will pick it up and put it it’s at what kinda is a is an African nation that has they had like a Area 51 to style crash or something so they had started that way early access to vibranium Society they kind of have it so like they’ve always involved with this kind of better technology in theory that’s why they’re in there like future future style Define i d m c all I’m catching 3rd 4th 5th societal hand is the idea that
that detractors of the movie that are obsessed with like pointing out that wakanda is not real and I don’t I don’t I don’t understand is that this is a thing of people are pretending the people care about her is there like an actual look why does that so weird one for superhero movies all that place is in real name if never heard of Gotham whatever I guess I just have a bunch of questions every project fan.
Preparatory complex number 5 starting with number 3 why are you asking that because you want Africa to be worse off than it is are you worried Africa will get a good rap
have you noticed the total absence of a Hogwarts in your neighborhood I see your racist and we can be friends and I’ll have a racist friend but like I said I will just get three or white racism and I’m an alcoholic I we all have problems great question number four
doesn’t even need to be in number four
yesterday does it said that was good in that Walking Dead comics is sending over never look at the panel camera and go they seem more like
every issue you’re not going to like the next page I did do a thing recently I’m going to spoil recent issues The Walking Dead just so I have something to talk about because it’s just just stop listening if you want to get out of work for very long time finds out that her daughter is Elijah she’s the one who learns of the technique of cutting off their jaws and walking around as Walker camouflage that is her and so so she she finds her daughter and it’s like two straight issues of all positive like happy Cliffhangers and she’s reunited with her daughter and it’s all right Cliffhangers it was like a hundred and seventy-five it so it done a hundred seventy-four shoes were all the Cliffhangers are all this misery has guys get his hand cut off and then you’re like who yes Mama
puppy but it could be a kitten and then it’s a puppy in my life and so I was convinced that people would be pissed off and so when when we reveal that the daughters actually allow she works in a bakery and she comes out holding a cake and she sees her mother who she thought was dead for the last of many many years living zombie apocalypse and she drops the cake that she’s holding it so if people really hate this they’ll say that instead of the comic Jumping the Shark in this issue it’ll be like this is the issue where they dropped the cake was trying to create my own like like a new king the fridge you know but I guess we the people who like a happy Cliffhanger is a hopeful Cliffhanger that’s it’s a it’s a it’s a you could still have a cliffhanger but it can be hinged on hope it’s it’s kind of an interesting concept because correct me if I’m wrong but I’m hopeful Cliffhanger actually is you’re still laying
it’s just a question whether you’re saying oh shit something horrible to happen we’ll see you next week or saying oh shit I just found out my daughter is alive but I haven’t talked to her yet to the necklace and hopefully after you know 15 years of The Walking Dead when I present a character like Michelle with a living daughter the audience is going home and it’s going to die soon like this is going to get taken away there any get ugly quickly like you know hopefully people are having those worries we’ll see
maybe they’re The Walking Dead
the readers of viewers
you don’t even like TV just say it say that there are the people that read the comic book are The Walking Dead the people that were in that way I’m sorry they’re the Lear the walking reading there’s a good there’s another that normal there the reading humans if you want to watch the TV show their the viewing dead I got drunk sorry I love working on it I mean I’m not going to be completely negative about the whole thing I love my viewership Dan they’re all fantastic and none of them ever annoy me on Twitter not even a little bit over Tony’s ever won at Wheaton add Robert Kirkman with a with a thought about the night season of your Empire for my Twitter feed Pet Smart on at the great insightful
my favorite thing I got to say my favorite thing I’m looking at this on Twitter and I will get someone that says I have great ideas for the next season of Walking Dead follow me so that we can diem yeah I like it that get the urgency to going to need to talk to you and I can’t tell you what I need to talk to you about it’s about Rick and Morty please DM me or follow you cuz I will alert you if you do what I say I can’t say anything right now like I sound like a dick for a minute just to give you some cover and he needs this
that doesn’t it frustrate you sometimes when people don’t like understand what we do to the point where they feel like they need to give us ice skates to the hey can I be a dick right now sorry

like Bob. I like it frustrate the thing that frustrates me is and I swear to God if it was it was for altruistic reasons because it was like more like oh I weep for our children kind of thing I was frustrating to me for a while now I’m jaded but it was frustrating to me for a while when 20 mid kids in their mid-20s otherwise known as grown-ass humans like who clearly like have successfully been conned by the society that I grandfathered into like into thinking that television is like a water or gas company or something is it because they simply have a problem with
temperature of it coming out of their Taps which means they’re never going to create anything and I know that I’m not amazing as I am I know that the fact that I ended up in Hollywood making my own shit had must have had something to do with the fact that some point along the line somebody told me in some way that resonated with me you know you could do it to you could just do it and I feel like when I used to feel sad when I would read certain shit like grab you like wow you think TV is toothpaste and you don’t know that your parents by your toothpaste like you think that you’re just mad at 25 that the TV came out wrong and you’re not even ashamed that you’re saying like horrible shit to someone is it that you that is designed semantically to provoke their suicide over the fact that something wasn’t written by you because you don’t know
could write and that used to make me sad but then I turn 45 and I was like ching ching enslaved population like then they voted for Trump and then I was like just a dumb luck and let me get give me 5 years stay this stupid let me out of here I don’t agree with any of your Social Security checks while you’re at it than me I come in that when I was Thirty when I was your age when my kid was only 11 like it’s not that I’m smarter than kids it’s it’s it’s just like I had a school paper they don’t have a school paper if they have school paper they wouldn’t be saying this shit
or they would have been saying it in the school paper and you never would have seen it and it would have you know that would have activated TV writer but instead they like go to Katie’s maybe unless you’re going into the funnel that will take you to McDonalds. Go by the way enjoy watching television which is created by a mysterious race of people in California that would know it was any idea how they got out there but we don’t know they’re all Liberal Cup cards that just ungrateful and it’s like no one at any point says that these kids in the hallway by their locker packs that there’s a there’s a lack of awareness in the general population that they do is be a writer if there was a genuine gin General 20-year pull back on in our educational institutions particularly the public ones of on one side what do you call
cuz I don’t fraternize with blue-collar people but the programs the tree High School wouldn’t tell you you are a worthless piece of shit and you should go to rehab they would tell you you could be a mechanic and I can place you in a fucking mechanic job or the other hand also you if you’re if you’re going to go to college but possibly maybe don’t know exactly what you’re supposed to do that like oh there’s a thing called poetry there’s a big dumb fucking like thinking about shit there’s there’s plays there’s a lot of poetry yes well you don’t have to fucking shrub me I don’t know what I’m talking about that’s not what I don’t know what I talk about is a lazy lobby at least you found one should I should I get a beer should I have a beer
I don’t know I had a beer right now
get the hose
play Play-Doh Fun Factory to be ran out of my face let me know I would be speechless cast it make makeup a great gift
I wonder when years would go gray if you had one
I’m getting pretty great up here if you can’t wait to see it cuz my hair’s kind of dog was getting getting Grande Winery your distinguished Dental of your green apple hair if anything you’re a quitter
I hear makes you distinguish the gray hairs themselves outside he’s outside it’s going to be on the same page right now while he’s just had things around me I look like my belt and just falling asleep in front of the cranberry sauce
turkey work for that sounds fun I do anymore you got those Square fobs that jokes not Universal I don’t even have a car I just stick a knife in there now
a boy oh man what you got in there. My hands are tied and is that for you just like I’m so I’m so sick of zombies I can’t see it or dude dude like check out what like is there some new kid like in Jamaica making some crazy zombie stuff cuz you just like a check out this Jamaican kids doing some really like revolutionary Zombies 2 bowls of all the new zombie stuff going on there’s this kid
I do still enjoy zombie zombie stuff I I just recently re-watch The Day of the Dead which is very excited about the remake of the classic did you check from work a day Schmucks in a Black and White House going like what the fuck is happening to the next tier of civilization which is the slightly more privileged cops and reporters like holding up in a shopping mall and then at the culmination is this like oh my God this isn’t even life anymore it’s scientists and soldiers are literally buried but the but the only thing I know it cuz I kept saying to Cody was like you got to see like like first we got to show you these first two movies and I kept telling her like it’s the best it’s like in a bunker and it’s like
and then I watched it again I felt a little embarrassed in the eyes of the person I was trying to indoctrinate cuz there’s like I forgot there’s no zombies in this one partly it’s me coming to the end and plenty about David that if you guys don’t know this is that that wasn’t the movie that George Romero originally wanted to make a difference script that you can find online for the original Day of the Dead that was like this massive movie that had different people living on an island and the material I think from that that didn’t end up Atlanta’s dead reckoning was in
always the like say like there were certain zombies that they were actually being used as Weapons like they were a different colouring sound do you know what I think they were trained to do different things there’s a lot more bugs in the original Evolution happening like which I would say like a cow ski siblings like being in two parts of the Matrix trilogy that you like you’ve earned the right to be obsessive about this but I just
sunglasses I think it comes from the living dead was originally like conceived by Russo and and and George Romero is a sequel to Omega Man like the idea was supposed to be a list list because we liked last man on Earth the Vincent Price one if you watched last man on Earth it feel like it’s like one of the prequel but like at the last minute will not at the last minute and see what we can’t do that lets us choose a different it can’t be vampires let’s make some zombies and they’ll eat people instead of doing drinking blood but in the Omega Man like the latitude of the vampires were slowly taking over the the world and becoming the dominant species so it. It’s kind of like what I think he was doing with the zombies the zombies were taking over and then we’re coming their own dominant species in the humans were going to be a prequel to daybreaker
all right with the about the girls did with the ski mask and it’s spring break to go down and it’s about places and James Franco Spring Breakers not date daybreakers is is vampires have taken over there but it’s a it’s a future vampire Society where vampires are the dominant species in humans are the very strong be saying I’m pretty sure you probably have seen it the movie three times now have you seen daybreakers Crashers damn it Dave drinky drink your drink play wake up and left my making America great again hat at home but go ahead
with the soldiers is like isn’t that the dread that has that scene and it’s early in the movie it’s like basically to the Call to Adventure cuz there’s nothing left anymore its just the let’s have a meeting and the soldiers are like I want to know what the fuck is going on and I’ve got the fucking guns and what the fuck are you Eggheads doing and you know and it and it’s like you just in a lab coat the liberal nightmare is what is like I like oh yeah okay the world’s gotten so shity that you control it and you’re a horrible person and I have no idea what you’re going to do I only know what the zombies are going to do and we’ve gotten pretty good at controlling them and we’d like that Comfort to continue it’s a very resonant for it today moment that that conversation cuz it’s like no book good guys or bad guys cuz if you strain the dumb part of your brain you can relate to the soldiers to their like give us some results we have a bunch of us
all Trifles should we not be like maybe going in finding a new bunker
down when they’re like we got to get out of here and they’re about to leave and they go down and look at arrows had his eye and she finds the tape recorder I did this by Buck like Father recording and then she freaks out like oh no oh my God no I never really understood what was your interpretation of that moment he has the best use of Robert Kirkwood guys I hope so, father I put it away father remember when I don’t know if I don’t think I ever understood what I didn’t know if it was like
he’s fucking I always thought there was something wrong really really really Occam’s razor because why else is that recording a plot point and I think that if you write backwards from the if the answer is it’s a revelation that the doctors fucking the zombie
in the 70s the way you’d hear that is a plot device on a tape recorder would be a bunch of weird improv about like daddies and as opposed to it it wouldn’t be like yeah your zombie Ass feel so good on my normal living dick tight cuz it’s fucking dead and cold it would be like it would be it would have to be available all right by Robert Kirkman failed like oh he’s perverted and perverts talk about their talk about daddy yeah well they’re doing creative explanation is just that he’s her thing is she’s like oh God we’re I’ve been defending him to the soldiers this whole time and he’s batshit insane out of his mind yeah I would say if that’s true BB because he’s been impatient with him too
it was like she’s like a doctor what are we going to do the fucking soldiers are getting it worse than the zombies and and he’s like there’s a change in the story direction as she’s in playing with her shocked reaction it maybe maybe it’s because I’m limited but it almost seems like I could only mean that she’s finding out he was fornicating with the chained up zombie
I feel like I must be another option but yeah I think I might be right I also want to say I hope that I wish that wasn’t true because I find that again as with the like whole bunch of evolution that I find that stuff to be totally like not at all what’s appealing about zombie mythology like I I just like the 70s had it nailed at a certain point because it was like there just to see if yes they’re stupid they’re slow not that I mind the new post 9/11 running zombies that shriek like Bobcats and leap from Rafters it obviously works for us to spend it has its own resident and either-or situation I mean sometimes I like the movies where they’re running and I like it in that movie but I mean I prefer the slower ones but it’s not like I do these movies suck that the living are the Wildcats the living are the problem because they’re living the living are are unpredictable the living are in and of themselves capable of ruining every
sing by pushing one button either in a conversation or on a switchboard whereas these fucking things have perfect order they have the American dream / the Russian dream / Lake the immortality like end like oh my God they’re going to get us but none of them are going to high-five each other or that you do and I think that’s why that Bub aspect of Romero’s dream always that distracted me too cuz I was like I don’t I know I’m supposed to like jump up in the theater and go one of them
the gun or learn to use a doorknob but like not at all to me the point but you know engage me to the point that I actually did The Walking Dead I love that Zombies by larger a manageable threat you’re right and right you you’ve got to think over and over again about sick of it eventually but that’s out there and you know if you keep your wits about you and you plan well you can do fine but it might be a little too well up like I’m going to retire I’m going to have that death that doesn’t end in that one shot where you go or intestines her dragged apart like a Taffy bar I’m going to be the one
when being left that doesn’t I did I did I do like my other favorite thing since I’m this drunk is the beginning of Dawn of the Dead the seventies when where it’s just like it’s such a not the apartment building that stuff creepy fun TV stations the TV station that she’s she’s waking up what’s your name Polly and it’s just I love that the black and white one they worship the television because that’s if the television could just tell us what was going on and where we should go and then they worship their one car it’s like this crap unintentional was spot-on resonant cultural thing of like it’s black and white it’s it has its roots in Old School classic horror films but it’s fucking so raw and Powerful because it’s just fear and it’s just like there’s a black guy in the house it’s almost a bigger problem than there’s dead people outside eating brains and their young
people understand that that’s counter-productive and then the guy with the control of the hammer and nails doesn’t and and that if we could just get the TV working on the TV when I get to working on the idea that you fade in on the sequel at the TV station and it’s full color now and it’s like it’s seventies and everyone’s got bell bottoms and smokes weed but like you’re pretending with the narrative just they work in television where you’re learning that this is the apocalypse will not be manageable by anybody all right sorry I’m sorry your children outside our listeners
have you seen train to Busan Korean zombie movie it’s is really great I recommend that I’ll be the first person that can be easily just go like too many zombie movies zombies are dead no pun intended but like I keep watching him and then it doesn’t it’s almost like it’s like Road movies you know it doesn’t matter that there’s a thousand of them it’s like like like and then they came back and then it’s like vampires you know it’s like like Undead stuff that goes like I’ll be why do you think that is that like what is it about society that makes us fascinated with like Beyond dad and letting dad like that for like a good amount of time and then we move on to something else
well I mean I think it’s
I don’t know yet yeah like yeah like one that’s like super popular you like a 28 Days Later and then that begets like a Land of the Dead in the Dawn of the Dead remake of a bunch of different stuff and then it become so popular that they start making crappy ones and then people are like let’s let this rest for a couple months
all the horrible things that we’re doing over seas and to get iPhones and that these are the dead people coming to get us there’s no living nightmare I don’t think I don’t think most people are aware of all the top 6 top 6 zombie stuff like this where that’s at this so much of it is verging on into the night season of Walking Dead and the 900 Indie movie about like who my relationship is not going that well cuz there’s a zombie attack like it’s he ate as many shity ones as there are hip hop
waiting for it to be over that rap was a fad that it would look at certain point you just went this is a genre this is not a thing this is not something and it’s like I think it’s just that we don’t have a healthy are art technology means conquering death it in a winner in the get it out of your living room way and so it’s like all those Vampires will always have their attraction will be rooted in as has been said since the silent movie days that it’s there’s a sexuality it’s about them being humans that seducing attract and manipulate and things and then there’s these there’s werewolves but we don’t
werewolves were popular for like the tiniest stint in his like that’s like a jekyll-and-hyde thing where it’s like oh I I’m fascinated with the idea that we can all at the drop of a hat turned into a fucking horrible Hulk monster that just wants to eat your face it’s like it’s not a it doesn’t take off the way saying everyone’s dead everyone that touches you you will make you dead then you’ll be dead but you’ll never be dead because you can’t be dead you’ll just want to make other things dead year year a consumer in an in a sea of consumption and you’ll just want to consume and for all you know aren’t even if you’re not already one of them don’t you wish you were there aren’t they winning isn’t it just that and it’s just been the non-stop like it’s like waves of it come and go but it’s like mounting and its appeal as a genre it’s almost like 30 years from now they’ll just be zombie
Channel zombie zombies will just be a werewolves and vampires and things like that is that you know those stories are always about a person who’s become a vampire person’s become a werewolf but you don’t do stories about the zombies every zombie stories about the people in the story in the times is just window dressing so the genre I think lives on because you can be like well there’s some soldiers in Iraq and they’re doing this and then zombie show up but I know there’s some people at a baseball game and New York and zombies are you looking for buried Jewish gold during World War II and it’s an involved in the stories we have in general anyway right it’s like they’re still you’re trying to find food shelter safety it’s like it’s it’s not like all the the fears we have about real life
apply more with zombies like someone randomly Could Just Kill You Like if you go outside it in a dangerous you actually do have to go find food to survive otherwise your kids will end up dead like it’s it’s a very extreme version of like all these years like there are no more gas stations are refineries that like like that I think are these fears that come naturally out of like living living under the shadow of her brain Sciences with a group of people just for survival could be the thing that kills you that was a thing about Donna the dead that was getting really scary is that like how quickly the system fails you know when weird things that no one can explain or take care of
happens and everybody turns against each other and you don’t trust anybody and it’s like you know like they are like they don’t have wooden Stakes you have to put through their heart feel like they’re sorted by locking the door which is our Kryptonite because it means we have to be with each other is the people inside that are like ready to shoot you because you’re not pulling your weight or or they just want to or they just like 4 or the people that lose their minds and open the door for all the others on an argument could be made the next time you do a panel maybe you could mention that you were about to get let it get tired of zombies and we kind of made another 3 Seasons
Walking Dead happy hour Midtown Save The Walking Dead on the edge but now you guys have got the wheels turning sort of and into the woods It’s a Wonderful what
so that’s good you’re welcome to the people listening that also were worried and I’m sure he’ll be here as you know I am a fountain of enthusiasm about my old work
what time is it we have about 10 minutes ago until we’ve talked to her in a tire to our show it’s 9:50 so what you want to try typing right now I see why I asked last week I think shrub went off on the vale of a drug that is what was what’s that what was that made Lolly so crazy I think it was like a like a like a like a toy dog that’s like walks around and Barks and you put it next to your dog and and they experienced The Uncanny Valley and just like a what the what the fuc
McMahon what is like kind of like awesome beautiful kind of Paddy chayefsky monologue on this and I asked some of our listeners would they please put this to music and I think we have to do it like multiple great ones we have we have one of them tonight as a queue in a later on
we’re not talking about that
getaway
a song
this is unbelievable I’m 40 and you should be so grateful so Greatful of what I gave to you for your time off and replace it with a pop singer and a tendon going to and I did and then they sucks too but it’s like it like that
a good idea for a senior
are you looking at me
what are you doing
it’s your phone when you don’t know what to do.
Why are you in charge
meet me me money I don’t make a good TV show I can too
Storyteller take your fucking silver platter Ahead movie
stop.
Damn it’s halfway done
musician mr. Potato Head would do
wow that’s incredible so move over black panther another something else would have to charge Hillier
if I’m ever going to write Hillier really really I am weeping with joy right where can I where can I get a listen to that sell yourself to hanging out and listening to this talking about you know what you’re doing and don’t do it skews me what the fuck made out of the word what how he was cuz I just thought of an amazing thing get a load of this 900 episodes of The Walking Dead Seasons 100 season that’s a lot of people walking around going to different places like that prison I remembered Spencer dungeon master always do
with a bunch of dumb survivors like walking around
this is your chance is there anything you want to ask him about how do you how do you Worldcraft
I thought it was a great I think it’s a great connection you guys got to come up with dungeons of his own I really like no adderal lots of vodka dance you can make it before they have it set to turn to Bill Cosby like like minus the hopefully
except you’re drugging yourself
that’s responsible you want to validate my questions alright alright okay alright I just thought you know
I do a lot of jogging not getting ideas I’ll stand on my head the truth is that the two of you
you can watch this show called Sherlock give me see the show Psych a modern like Sherlock you ever see that you know what I’m telling a lady Watson write a lady Watson little lady Watson I was at the other Charlotte Elementary Sherlock shows yeah there are The Hobbit Watson how did Watson Sherlock they do like a Sherlock where it was like set not in modern times but Sherlock times I thought I saw him like stunt episodes or something like that is all
it happened in his head but it didn’t happen right I love it when things happen Walking Dead episode I love it when people have nightmares in horror movies and if that’s part of the rules of the horror movie cuz I’m watching a movie because I love caring about dumb boring people dreams
that’s why I want you to horror movies horror movies or people that go to sleep in a cabin and then they’ll eat your dreams what movie were you watching, why not
the shity Netflix horror movie I just watched Netflix Jesus Christ they’re probably the next Duffer brothers and I don’t want to hear what you saying we’ll just sit here how about when he does that we’ll just sit here and say nothing was there any to do you like
and it would just sit here and do nothing can rap to you can order it Diamond Distributors bring it to your house
keep this kid off the street please the time when you’re Robert Kirkman trying to make time all the time but this show needs to go on blast motherfuker this shows asking to get my name is Mister rap thank you for coming to Hermantown everybody alright man harmontown say thank you to everybody drugged and keep plastic
some people need your address Robert Kirkman from the Bolivian song on the bank real fast quip toothbrushes don’t go on blast I think Zach serrins Arab strap is always bag under utilized always appreciate you thank you thank you for everything with World Jeff Davis nobody here is on blast but the show is on black I got to put my uncle and his ass or Harris right now so you’re fat and 45
put it together hurt your marriage and Herman oh yeah I don’t do it for that fact if you clap you’ll get punished for that just teleported Bill Cosby of ref yo I don’t need any connection from you is Black Panther I’d like a catch phrase before a panther somebody says it’s time for justice it’s time for Justin Timberlake set time for Justice For Justice track of time spent election
like all heroes yeah Panthers Panthers aren’t Heroes there Panthers all heroes want justice so why did you say it’s time for justice that’s what I would say cuckoo man besides black panther Panthers are heroes but not all heroes are Panther Tank complicated thank you thanks Rob thanks you so well thanks the two of you for making some of the best comic books
this side of Monte Cristo it’s pretty equal including this new one Oblivion song
that’s on the show in yeah where did brush your teeth with quip

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