Episode: 46 – Neigh Means Yay


Episode: 46 – Neigh Means Yay


‘Rick and Morty’ writer Ryan Ridley drops by, ‘Real Abed’ Gheith pitches his insane restuarant and Kumail Nanjiani reveals secrets to brown acting. In D&D: the party climbs into a hole.


dr. Ian but doesn’t give a shit about fostech
well guess what a magical place where anything can happen and I always will welcome to the stage for the second time.
yes from Goldberg Goldberg
tonight’s about being comfortable with chaos I was I was sitting in the back room and I was thinking like I don’t have anything I’m kind of going to run out and throw them at we don’t have to talk about Seth MacFarlane all night but because Venable are like later and people be like oh fresh it won’t be 45 minutes of it and that was quite enough for me what what it what it what is your take away from the Oscars apartment Hammer was about the whole thing but I assume I’m going to go ahead and gas if I was a betting man that it would be like yeah it seems like I mean in the world of oscars close your eyes and ask yourself what’s the ultimate Oscars
a couple of days ago so you know I never told you this cuz it was going down during the whole Chevy debacle and I figured I didn’t I didn’t want to put another nickel in you or give you any reason to getting any embarrassing public Shenanigans but there was this article after the Billy Crystal Oscars were some snarky blog like printed an article that said he has used the 10 things you have to do to save the Oscars number one get rid of Bruce Vilanch and Hugh Jackman opening
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah not a hero the person doing this and who cares what his opinion is but what are good Oscar’s who cares in the comment section under Bruce Vilanch signs in and says according to shrubs and I was just kind of urban legend cuz I’m quoting schreiber’s who’s who’s giving me here safe from this, text me something akin to I’m very sorry that you feel I’m past my Prime I did my best you know those guys are we all worked on that opening together and they’re the only ones that won the Emmy because they were the ones that were credited a for it but it like like a hundred eighty degrees from the truth lie. I think I think he’s kind of famous in the Clapping cuz your fans
he’s on Hollywood Squares are was at one point he was he was drawn in The Simpsons I mean he’s a he’s at he’s an iconic non icon you know he said they use God knows what he’s been writing on the Oscars but I just thought that was a weird that’s a weird thing because it’s like in the world is always room for all kinds of revision is kind of like you know Chris McKenna it came up with that joke but really it was my idea kind of thing you forget you work in collaborative environment it’s it’s like it’s very easy to forget there’s a lot of like like like especially if you’re actually really good in collaborative you totally forget what you wrote what someone else wrote but that is not we walked into the end of the first day of working with that guy with a finished thing cuz it was songs and stuff and other sets built that robbed me of the car so for him him to say that in a comment such as like like like like right now
play weird liar but if I get to I get to weird liar 3 like like like weird weird liar weird lying weird liar I’m up I would build out from there to Iquitos a buckyball of just calling him a fucking liar like like just weird like what the question marks all over it, like what it like if you’re a sociopath and then will they dressed differently
if you’re just an automaton that said that that’s only like is Machiavelli in the end justifies the means then why where did you arrive at Bruce Vilanch is a Persona and I go how is that effect and I just like honestly man that that too it was he cool to work with no no not cool to work with all kinds of stuff to argue with you about that but but I mean I said I think that the people that say that I’m hard to work with were are themselves hard to work with. I think I think I think that they are just bummed out and I grabbed for the edge of the pool that Sarah which is like you know there’s a bunch of people over here that that that also were made to feel stupid and untalented you know he’s crazy crazy Hey Nobody’s crazy you know there’s a bunch of really awesome people in the middle of that pool hanging out and crash and bruised and broken down
is that how they talk in the middle of the pool anyway just we’re just weird I don’t know Bruce Vilanch somehow if you if you if you if you receive this message somehow I think he’s a guy put the word image-conscious in a quote everybody hashtag explain yourself yourself sir Grant it I will I will say this in his defense right now preemptively that I did not read The Source material that Rob was referring to but it I mean and I don’t really want to go digging back for conflict but Bruce come down Bruce come down and let’s talk about about about your lying liar earnest
how much do we ever get a chance that Chevy was going to show up on the on the tour at some point he never did yeah I guess there’s always a chance that he’ll show up like they could but that was the same as a community like that was the whole point of what will what his hair would look like a whale what would be on his face and then sometimes you’d be happy and sometimes you’d be sad and angry every every time I do that stuff and it’s like like like like like like a vulture huffpo TMZ like they extract without context and it’s like I don’t know
was there any fallout Fallout or any like a reaction to when Jason Sudeikis called him as Joe Biden and then I explained to him I said it was Jason Sudeikis from SNL and Saturday Night Live.
But I wouldn’t be surprised
I would be there is kind of a mess until they adopted that in the if it’s sometime during my life like he might remember it at KFC he pitched me a TV show idea of what we talked about this I’m world-weary man I’m wrung out like you just hung over or what that night
we played catchphrase till like 5 in the morning that go Aaron just kept saying like do you like she just likes to play and she just likes to play until I get mad
she playing a larger game
catch catch fight catching fights tonight
it’s like that game and Indiana Jones at the what’s her name is playing with the shot glasses you know it’s like they kind of catch phrases like that either brain stopped being able to participate in catchphrase like they can’t they can’t figure out what the what the things are the Empire that the other person lose
breathalyzers right
hey do miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering if I can smell food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes out the themes relate to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker it myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerves like a verb you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
anyways is Ryan Ridley hear the audience
all right hey come up here come up our next guest is Ryan Ridley
Ryan Ryan is a longtime collaborator of mine and he works over at the Rick and Morty offices right now or Adult Swim show where about halfway through the run here at script wise and I told you if you came to the show you you could come up on stage to do the only way I can get people to come
so the justify it would what are you did you eat you got a tarantula or something or because you said that there’s not enough Neurosis on stage so how is my good luck thank you
some people say it’s brown hair brown eyes, she starring in a lot of work going to say about the story and then I was kissing you buy a crystal blue Italian stream
how’s it how’s it how’s it going working for me how hard am I to work with
yeah we had a little dust-up but other than that it’s pretty good and I came back and you know I was saying a couple of outlines needed more work and and then Ryan Ryan who had kind of like Ryan started the Christmas Kenna over at Rick and Morty what’s that mean call Chris McKenna was like my right hand part of the show and I wasn’t saying that out of neurosis
and so you know he’s like like like like Chris was the guy that was responsible in the absence of responsibility and Justin Roiland who co-created the show with me he’s he’s he’s as crazy as I am in different ways and yeah and you’re the you’re the point man you got to you got to batten down the hatches on the Wonder Bread the peanut butter and jelly are not sure you put a lot of work into an outline while I was on the road and I came back cuz I need to take a step back on this one and then he started punching a black baby
is that true Ryan is that true I wasn’t punching it throttling it not a monster reaction yeah
should I elaborate I don’t know if you want to I mean you’re the one who brought up the dust up and I thought that would be something you know I don’t know that’s a good angle right-hander David Ryan as an employee is as it as a co-worker Water and Power Channel little ones best series in the history of the Channel with Ryan you know we we we we wrote many things together in front of an open laptop like I don’t let a lot of people come around yeah when I’m actually typing something on a screen that’s a big cata me so I can say I felt good to hear that
I mean you’re very insecure very conscious of how other people perceive you again it can be.
I think maybe I am the Adam Goldberg if maybe just a couple of things different in my life happened and you know cuz I was a big fan of Ryan Ridley is a legacy comedy personality his his his dad Mark Ridley founded and runs the Chicago Comedy Castle Detroit Detroit
Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle when you were growing up you would would be like you know the weekend along a Coke Bender like rule straws and end razor blades look at it tools dealer right now headed septum
is there a life of cocaine running down the front of the base than a guy from Detroit named sniffer
Uncle sniffer. Sniffer coke dealer your podcast with Justin thank you thank you why they laughing I would like listen to podcast with Justin Roiland Rick and Morty Creator and sometimes is that a laugh of recognition cuz of the podcast god dammit
somebody somebody clap to the back or something that anybody I know you are we friends
it’s it’s very addictive a very funny little personality so you guys have inspired by and seeing fruits at sketchfest that first year we want it I think I was like Alice’s start podcasting whatever I had to drop troops into it could have just gone with us
you said no Neurosis I know Jeff it’s hard
all right so what you up to what should we bring real Hobbit up yeah
real Abed is this like it’s nice to happen
this is the man who the character Abed on community with was based upon
who everybody is great to be here I didn’t expect to come on stage but that’s fine it’s all right you shouldn’t have sat in the exact center of the audience sat like the I was like so worried I was like trying to avoid your gaze and I knew in a minute alright so no no no no
no no you can’t stop that sorry sorry I just
I feel like I’m doing stand-up yeah I know it’s like this is a Freudian thing I can you develop this ugly could you face away that’s the development of that couch like you don’t look at look at the audience and listen to us we’re going to counsel you so Abba Abba Abba that’s where I got the idea for the name of David he’s also a bit of a I would call you a pop cultural Savant kind of but really it’s more were music for you I think when you go actually more like television television and film than music like something I dabbled in just like I was bored and he knows about it so David David who wrote or who sings this song
turn off of John Harbour
I want to say this is
it feels like Led Zeppelin Deep Purple
I see I was close cuz of Almost Famous are they both in that movie there no
that wasn’t fair that was like the Wild Card how do you want to that’s my next question do you want do you want to think how what to what extent do you want to think that the character on community is like congruous with you like like like like what would make you more outraged you know where are uncomfortable with the idea that he’s nothing like you or the idea that he’s exactly like you and therefore I have like somehow exploited you
what is the Alexa thing that’s nothing new The American Dream by mind
Brighton Brighton and I would have Palestinian it’s too
half of you explained it half of him but half of both of you just sit and eat Twinkies and don’t care. Like like like like I wrote I wrote the part and I really wrote the part with the idea in my head that you would come in and audition for the part what you did which that was an amazing time in my life by the way I Grew From like boys do you remember who else auditioned like who made it to the final round game room and then also it which I knew him which was crazy cuz I was like I hope you get it buddy and the guy from 30 Rock yeah and then use the guy from the movie tickets.com at that point I remember leaving
and I think it was when I was kind of doing good and I saw him coming out it was Danny Pudi cuz I remember his face and also you said you look like a peanut but you did I didn’t say I was coming out and it will take it back I saw him on the phone I don’t know where that’s going I saw him on the phone and he looked like so happy like he was ecstatic and I wasn’t that happy I left I mean everybody after you walked out of that guy is like like like like I can see now where you got the idea for like the the the the personality like some of the stuff on paper not make sense but they said the same thing after they said the same thing after I said I can’t really remember remember the name of the guy that plays the assistant 30 Rock play Johnny Reb Johnny Reb that’s got to be
go to bed now cuz I’m mad right now I’m sure yeah he was a longtime listener and as it was tonight’s the night finally we talked about him and we could get his name but yeah I mean put Hootie was just a different as I like all he came in and I was just like okay after he walked out it was like okay so are we going to have a show with that guy in its or not and it so it had nothing to do with being right for the character other that’s like like like now let’s make the character right for that guy cuz he’s like a superstar amazing things when he came in but then you took a really cool Direction and it became its own thing is so Danny brought a lot of himself to it and that’s the rest your life is right I mean if you live in a half of your people are like
try to fire his creator
do you think Palestine should be a state oven well it is then actually I mean he calls it is
apples and potatoes I say potatoes
will you will you tell everybody your idea for a restaurant oh no this again how many times did we go get well this is what I came up with this so long ago and it was like I don’t know why it was a real idea of a Russian attached to it so like tenaciously like
well I’m sure they’ll agree. Tell him tell him
cuz that you forget the specifics like when I tell you the story that you have now we all realize that little foods are taking over rights was getting smaller help our taking over just as the Wright brothers had to accept gravity I didn’t write the rules for one time in your life I mean
the restaurant be a plate of little burgers in a plate of a normal Burger I think you’ll go to the little Burgers that’s fact number two
oh man I got a taste I don’t feel guilty it’s great hamburger if you eat like some of it and you just put it down your like
I don’t know
I was here baby can you go to get food that’s all small you know there’s no place
you can go to the Smurfs Village so they make small like burritos and tacos and stuff
describe a night at the time I thought it was clever to spell it with a why is that everyone would think it was a computer store okay okay you just going okay let’s say I’m with someone like a girlfriend if I had a girlfriend and she’s like oh my God I don’t want pizza again you asshole I want burgers and you’re like fuck you I want burgers you know what happens all the time at but what kind of relationship is this
do you like spankings fuck you but you’re saying like oh I would like something out okay I love you lady lucky lady I love you actually going to be like yeah I haven’t heard nothing but if he’s a little person and and you order to protect our experiences you like a jackass High Relief on the how small is a bite of your food
that’s what’s cool because in his world it’s like oh normal pizza but then it gets to you and you’re like a small pizza from smoking a cigarette
there’s a sign that says don’t tell him
used to be a co-partner I mean okay for the one of the appetite map of the world are we still good bro and I’m like what the fuc get out of the map where the Middle East is and you got your bed bites look like
Cooper something that ain’t come from
what is a little turd
bites with my girlfriend whom I love okay and I walk in that
I would like I would like I would like a Vietnamese fascinating because he had the same thing back in the day but his question was like what about if I want soda. You little drop a soda or how do I get you know like what it was to do with that and then I had to say which I think I was like mentally like the ones going to be like excited about a drop of soda
I think with the stoop I thought I better tell that about midget waiters well yeah that’s going to freak me out too
okay well then you guys are there was a guy at the we’re just trying to talk you through your business model here is like 10 years old for a time my parents separated and I live with my mom in South Milwaukee as we call it South Milwaukee and there was a McDonald’s there that my grandma was recommended because it had Billy the Brownie and I always grew up thinking Billy the brownie was a legitimate mcdonaldland character a little person dressed up like an elf and just hung out at McDonald’s
and we just talked to children and old people named Billy Brown
hell yeah it was the early eighties and I have you look now let me tell you that’s that’s a little put the midget fear in any of that movie
you know whatever your psychoses is I I mean stripe with that psycho see story of Jeff and I were both suggesting to you that that with all due respect to all Humanity like like like the idea of institutionalized kind of thing you’re doing like you’re going like this like a dachshund that you bred to work at your restaurant because now I’m thinking Hooters for for a little bit.
Funland in their skin is like blue and she liked it or not but what about the animals to breed a little animals to way different show yeah so now I don’t want to bend your mind but take me into the kitchen at bites because this is where my investment is is has a really is I feel like the overhead is maximized in a kitchen we’re okay so three tiny pizzas what a half and trophies 1/2 of mushroom and two tiny tiny tacos and one tiny chicken shish kabobs you make a real Pizza in the kitchen in the kitchen and then you have a little like a little cookie cutter that shaped like teeth that is awesome
totally grow in size to the Burger crumbs on the phone a little persons cheap at meet you and and let me finish and he’s the spokesmodel for the for the restaurant at end his catchphrase is aren’t full you can finish it
there’s a commercial man one thing the one guy you know it’s like I had a ton of Chuck E Cheese’s at Chuck E cheese but they don’t actually do that
all right what would want one more thing and then we got it we going to keep this the shame of it as a non solvent business because the reason why that was the reason why Mexican restaurant don’t bother to go at fuck it you can also get a fish sandwich here plus the pizza is because they would have to then like it wouldn’t be worth it for them yet that I kind of liked Focus your menu as well as little Cheesecake Factory basically Foodland so you enter Foodland and there’s like every restaurant in Foodland kind of like the Disney of dirt restaurants cuz my dream was like I wanted people to have whatever they wanted in one place record
the food court suck and like they don’t have any good food and it’s too big damn like what the fuck you like it I think I might need a whole bowl of noodles that just entering a glorious theme park where it’s like it’s like you know what I mean
miniaturized Legoland Center
can you eat you’re looking good real rabbit as a fan for real habitue
thank you
yeah yeah I guess why don’t you take a hike to really thank you for coming Ryan Ridley
that’s how you get right and ready to come to your show you give him some stage time
it’s nice I think everyone should Create TV shows with their friends and him because then who was normally just normal rabbit becomes real Hobbit
but he was kind of an unreal guy before I know whenever I see him I got hey it’s real David Mann it’s cruisy yeah exactly it’s nice it’s a nice that you’re welcome for the favor I did you buy any part of your dad that feels like like what what’s your feeling about creating a character based on him like wait which version is that is your favorite what what do you mean you like do you like your creation or do you like the inspiration
where to party when timer Robin Travis place and was talking to a person that had passed out asleep that was like head back
I bet you’re breaking it down
exactly I was just calling out I didn’t know he fell asleep exactly he had the entire party start at 7 at a certain point we went look what’s happening over there was just talking there was just music playing and he was talking to her friend Rod who was full-on asleep and for real like like not only this won’t translate to the podcast but but like seriously not only talk again like that I guess you could say I like you talking you’re lost in thought so you just don’t notice it was listening but like I was making these Expressions he’s going like he was getting feedback from our unconscious friend as as as Rod slowly before he hit the floor like like like like like it was Dad who was just talking to him like he was on The View or something
but the rest
the beauty of that that was funny and hilarious it was but like I like the sound of my own voice too and they like I would love to Freedom just to talk to a man for all the mannequins so you can super power for the part of a community train rolling and bring Camille nanjiani
it’s a theme tonight
I didn’t tell you I didn’t put that I didn’t know you yeah I audition to be that guy know what I didn’t get it but I got pretty close I would stay up at night if it weren’t for Danny Pudi and for real I’ve been sitting in the audience right now I would tell you like then second place
thank you
I I had never acted at that point by the way that was my first I went to audition for that I have no freaking idea what I was doing and you were really nice I’d met you before a little bit and you came out to all of us and you were like you know it’s a really awkward weird fucking process sorry we have to go through any like apologize for the process which one

well you gave me the wrong impression that day cuz I was like oh he’s such an easygoing nice guy that’s weird it’s weird how bad is Adam Goldberg bad light I don’t know I don’t know either that look like like there’s a whole Rubik’s cube of humanity in Ann Arbor McDonald and it’s crazy to think hard to get like that’s his new strategy he’s not retired from being a character at the Egyptian show and like he’s playing a cool he’s he’s he’s reverse psychology and he’s the gaming us
oh yeah next time he wears like a huge hat to peacocks like ignore me I have noticed from Adams behavior that he’s obviously read weird like men’s guides to date him because he does things like he’ll give you a he’ll give you a gift but then 2 weeks later he’ll go can I have that back and it’s like come on. Had to come from some creepy like like FHM guide to getting her ass hm.com approximates human behavior
but he’s just he’s not arms pipe or not. But he’s a healthy glow he’s smiling is having a good time he’s making us jealous
like he’s he’s he’s he’s showing up at at the ex-girlfriends party and being like I can’t what’s up he just left it at my sweater and showed us a harmontown shirt underneath and underneath underneath that shirt is clearly a bomb
would you listen to his interview on the podcast cast he gets deeply she was crying because it gets so personally route revelatory maybe 50%
I’ll bet or Adam Adam Adam write a narcissist does he hate himself love is kind of like like he’s telling the story of how atoms of dungeon master like like like Adams origin story when you when you peel back the comic book characters lairs the night that Spencer came that fateful night and Spencer raised his hand when we said is there a dungeon master here and I’m such a dungeon master and I wasn’t there that night and he hit it with the agony of some hypothetical alternate timeline where he is Spencer ever since you’re with us and you know he has his face on it
I have a story about it but I’m playing hard-to-get but that’s not how you do what you got to say
Yukon Reveal Your strategy
that kills that SUV rule number one step to I didn’t know how to get I can’t because my wife start off producing the show and podcast
I mean every everyone had a podcast already I was the last president that have one who’s he was like I feel bad for you cuz you know I really liked watching the show that would come and hang out and watch the show for like a year never played D&D before you love games right DND wasn’t really a thing with nobody I knew I took to home
make it because of a
Pakistan is like
dragons Dan Harmon I mean you don’t have first world problems right
by definition, we don’t know all I know is what I read in my System of a Down Forest like like like a medieval like like a certain line and I guess Pakistan is closer to dandyland the singer’s ogres fireline Kansas right on the line
I feel like a really want to argue with you guys but I did find an argument right now
president to say what is what is my obligation as a as a first world are privileged guy growing up in Wisconsin and Emma is it am I a better person if I acknowledge that that the that the Middle East is a is a kind of artificially in Forest kind of medieval territory or or am I better person if I got their people to Crescent what a wonderful plays the Paris of of of the planet I think there’s a happy medium between those two the happy medium being that it’s not medieval and also it’s not the parents of the planet I think the happy medium would be either that you and I grew up in a culture where we have so much free time that we can produce like a guy my chop you up with an axe
I don’t know how accurate that is pretty say I mean I do have access wounds all over me is 19 everything Wisconsin representative of all the territories over there it’s like one of those countries
of all the territory of your tribes of all the families of all the military bases that we have over there it’s it it it it it it is one of the more westernized and leg has had a tradition of like a collaboration with the enemy of America it really has been a lot of the country obviously is against everything the opposite of what sort of Islam stands for in a lot of ways but that also does a big seduction of the West you know so once we got MTV like it boys started running short so it’s sort of a weird tussle you saw the country change once MTV happened I I saw it it was all over MTV
Kurt loder you had the Pakistan and transformation our really honestly can’t recall the details but I remember Pakistan wizard of front and center in the headlines I think it had something to do with Lexi that we needed it’s always there’s always like some country like like like like like like like like something happens in America wants to maneuver something and then there’s like some like a character that that that that no one’s thought about for 10 years no one has used the word I remember when 9/11 happened as I Pakistan Pakistan Pakistan not for anything relating to anything other than like airspace or I Know What You Did Last Summer I kind of pissed me off that they were the murder with some fishermen and that they wrong that you never saw so you do you Pakistan is that fisherman
like like yeah Pakistan was going to that was a safe house they were harboring al-qaeda’s a religion or helping Jordan Jordan was also like came to the Forefront hanging onto our 15 minutes check like I kind of like I don’t know God damn it what’s the word what’s the word I remember sitting in a restaurant I like like in the wake of 9/11 and everything what are we going to do cuz I don’t have Middle Eastern talk a lot of officials coming forward president prime minister chosen people who ever thought about the Middle East in the in in in 10 years are watching it on CNN and looking at like the King of Jordan comes out in like that he’s got this wife I just like sitting there eating a cheeseburger going like she’s hot
remember the queen of Jordan was like she was bubbling up but it was like I couldn’t even get in the way you can see bites
what do you remember when Saddam died when they when they kill Saddam right before that they were like oh be really like Doritos. Like why you telling us that if you wanted to like him don’t like Doritos so we’re going to stay of execution Is Not So Different that I we kill them like Doritos just like you do fuck by a sensitive area I remember you and I having a conversation you said you weren’t back then like that was your first audition as an actor but I had sent that now you’re a little acting career a little little like that goes from the big like making fun of my where I’m from and my pride
remind me of home.
I remember we had a conversation about like the weird like like what like how like okay white actor in America gets sides gets an audition hey they need a guy to play the male leads best friend he kind of wants to fuck his girlfriend but he’s half gay and that he loves basketball so he come in and you come in and you got the biggest struggle American white the actor has is Hugo Legos guys kind of Freddy so I’m going to I’m going to I’m going to put my spin on it but whatever it’s not written for me but then there’s this whole other component happens if your Asian if your Latin if your if your if your middle eastern if you’re whatever the other things are more door provocative an interesting like what we’re talking about like you being like Sue no choice of your own you’re at the Forefront of that because you have to ask yourself as a person obviously we look at 350 IQ comes from comes from
actually not none of the metric system though it sounds like like like like like like I haven’t having this cross to bear would actually like you moved here and and are acting over here and now you’re get you get auditions so you go in and it’s like you know you can imagine the kinds of things like like like we all know like it’s like it’s like this guy was drunk so I like I don’t remember it but I remember it being fascinating maybe we could dig it up and I’m like dr. Frankenstein was just showing price together but when I first started auditioning it was I was auditioning for a lot of parts clearly that as he’s gotten too big for you were clearly written in his voice and he’s a fucking swear that happened it’s a fun name then
sorry can’t fit cave
thank you know what I think
so I I do a lot of auditions now it’s still it is getting better but it sort of basically tell me to up my accent without saying it was great as great a little like even more like even more exaggerated I’m like for tomorrow I’m not doing anything this is how I talk and
and I made a decision like two years ago when I was like I’m not going to change my accent for any of these auditions I’ve had a lot of auditions go well and then sort of upset and it’s kind of obvious and so I have it but then I see fucking did so many people don’t want to name names but those people that you know who are brown actors who all auditioned with and all I can fucking hear them in there anything on their legacy like doing all that shit is fucking pisses me off so much
fucking Danny Pudi
is that really angers me it’s like it’s like sort of like they’re like scabs you know that come on we’re all in this together don’t fucking and then they get the part she was a media studies getting her master’s degree going for a PhD and she she she spend all the time going to the archives and she uncovered this thing from the probably the forties or fifties is the Native American actor who his head shot was like it was signed and is that like he had a head of a bowler hat with a feather in it and then it was here running down his face that was the 70s that was when we actually started to plow right now that they’re all dead like what if what if what if you made it a try back then it was still like I can either funny or their houses are pointy
that his head shot was like signed like meet me want them commission for agent them like like like a good guy and how do I get the part
and it’s like a hero or villain or the whole Hollywood Shuffle thing I did that like like like like like but it’s not the interesting thing about it is the lack of like easy empirical truth because if I’m an African American actor and like like why don’t I for instance have the right the same right that a Caucasian actor would have to effect a Brooklyn accent or take advantage of the fact that I’m from Jersey or or that I had that I know what a southern person sounds like to in order to try to get some hard or according to the Francis or whatever they’re doing the if you hear now you’re a black person and you’re going in as an actor and it’s like well this guy’s he’s a little groovy or he’s a little blacker than you’re doing it and that’s how you talk but you’re an actor that’s the terrible thing to put someone in the position of your ear craft is supposed to be pretending you’re supposed to be able to pin medals to your chest to the extent that you’re able to portray
different different aspects of yourself and other people imaginary people we give Awards to people who do it who who who who remove us from reality and so now even though you didn’t buy a ticket to that ride here you are as an actor with all the other actors get to just go either get the part to ride don’t you have to you have to tweak it in your head and go get the part and on top of that I have to fucking act like the like the one Indian got the one in the brown got to be Black Ops 2 with the couple things one it’s I feel like changing I have been getting parts that were written for white guys and stuff has changed and I do think honestly that out the car are bad on community disorder change things because it was a kind of brown guy that we hadn’t seen on TV before and talk when I read that I was at when I watch the show this is great this is a new kind of cat is going to change and then I tried like five steps that had like
a friend of mine that I want name cuz I want to get in trouble right a pilot in the its I don’t want to describe it cuz I don’t get in trouble but there is a according to this friend of mine there’s literally a point in the script where that the other characters are introduced to his kind of wacky Ensemble and literally the names of the characters are Asian lady and fat guy and like the writers end end and 85% 25 year old writers like I think that the the way to break the cycle starts at the starts with what I used to call the typewriter like you I I think the key to it is like you have to avoid the temptation to look like Whit Whit look at The Hobbit character and community that was the one exception in that script where you actually bothered to
explicitly say he says he’s half Palestinian or something like that. It was it was a real Hobbit is half Palestinian it felt important to the character to me for some reason maybe I was right maybe I was wrong they make sense because he’s a guy who’s so he sort of obsessed with pop culture but then there’s also this other part of him that sort of it sort of makes him an observer even though it’s not specifically a racial thing but somebody was sold as traveling to cultures like that maybe I mean surely could have been half Indian half polish is which daddy put his butt at the time there was this whole not the whole brew HaHa but it’s just like I’m out of their Twitter to take it is all kinds of different viewpoints to come in and justifiably so I’m coming and why it why do you have an Indian guy playing a half Indian guy playing a half Arabic guy like like what are you doing so all brown people but very justifiable absolutely you create a character
you say okay this is based on my friend real Hobbit whose whose dad is Palestinian whose mom was whatever Nordic or something and who had this very specific backstory to him you know his dad was like like like really a lot to do with the relationship with his dad which we did explorers like his dad was not a fundamentalist Muslim but a passionate one astern Gaia kind of great Santini type in my head and that. That would be because Father and Son stories are very important to mail characters that that was important and it was like race isn’t important that’s an artificial construct but nationality of your parents could be cultural so then the roof off the room okay like what way can we stop talking about how good he was in the audition
we got it he got the part
you know what I was really upset when I didn’t get it but when I saw the shrubs are all the right guy got it anyway go ahead the but then so later on it’s like like the tweets coming and it really affects me cuz I’m like I’ve got all this white guilt in like I am I almost died again I want to be Norman Lear I don’t want to be I don’t want to be a bad person I want to tell when I use my my my my talent right I want to contribute want to make people happy and then people are going like what why why is this brown guy playing a different kind of brown guy so torn between like like like this is a slippery slope by the way that’s not an issue to me or I mean that’s the really really but it all depends on where you it’s all depends on the context like like really is it’s such an it’s such a strange time to be alive and I said I think I think I think that there is no there’s no magic wand to wave over at no rule but I definitely think it starts with people writing script
where you got to you got to detach yourself from like it’s it’s like this character is amazing he’s this big fat black guy and he is not a great character know it’s not like that’s a great actor if that guy comes in and plays the character of if you change the gender of well that’s where you at where do you stop it it’s not like like-like do we do we do to progress to a weird Gene Roddenberry age was screenplays are like ones and zeros and you kind of like The Rook has a problem with the pain I don’t know it does not mitigate creativity to let me to get passionate obviously the answer is yes because the extent that you do that some punk rock writers going to go to black
finish line for that I think I think the discourse is the valuable thing I I think that people talking about it is the only place that starts that you know I think a lot of times a lot of scripts I read it’s just funny funny it’s funny cuz whoever wrote it in his head that happens a lot and I don’t want to do specific
this is very specific can I sort of tell you later to take it out if I decide is that okay i t t l e r s p a baby but then I was like right doesn’t matter
some kind of Liquors
I’m sorry we can’t. That’s where we get our Snickers spot
can pass a lot of money t-shirt I am I this movie that I did not douching for the team must have the lighter than it was a huge Parts at 1:10 and the first day of shooting they were like to have taken to do your accent and I was like well I’m not going to do it stick it all and it was like what do you mean it’s written it’s supposed to be a thick Indian ax and I was like what sort of have the 10-year out of Pakistan accent and that’s what is going to be so weak and has huge thing produces will calling and stuff and I called my agent and I was like you know I think they going to fire me off this movie I don’t think I know I can make those fart funny being myself with the lines but I don’t know if I can make it funny if you want me to do like a crazy accent and then I just thought I would just let me do one the way I talk and then we can talk off at that people are just scared of writing parts or imagining parts that don’t fit in
do whatever you know their little boxes or whatever time in the beginning but there are a lot of black actor characters on TV and they’re also the varied indifference and I’m sure they’re still surprised we made but there’s an actor Emily was telling you about this is an actor and when was it Emily’s was sleep and eat is what he went by and his hole in the saw that you paid sleep and eat like he was an actor and his whole thing was just give me a place to sleep and something to eat and I’ll work for you like you’ve totally played up that hold you could step or fetch it and it was like that and so so and that wasn’t that wasn’t that long ago that has changed so do everything they can to go like I’m going to create a character that’s based on an emotional component and if there’s biographical comparison that comes out of why I think if you’re the Meryl Streep of Pakistani actors then you could
maybe walk around with a guy like okay I’m going to do that in a based on my Decades of studying all of the different kinds of I decided not to do it because it was so hard for me to Parts which parts were the guy to think I accidentally made sense in the story makes sense for the character and which parts were cuz I was going medieval comedy which parts were thick accent just cuz the guy thought it would be funny or for a pickaxe an Indian guide us a motherfuker or whatever your house or talk about Star Wars expert. He’s going to be talking about pop culture is not funny because he doesn’t have an ax that he’s he’s as it’s like that before that is fighting Bob has a gluten Issue Number 3 is supposed to know about Star Wars and that’s like that to me is like kind of like a black guy and address of the same like
it’s like it’s like I got okay there’s nothing the characters not real the characters like I also when you think of it something like nerd the way that a lot of times are also in a box so you know Star Wars is a good example I used to read so many Scripps worth with someone’s in there talk about Star Wars that’s like always if I’m working on something in the Star Wars reference I’m like that feels so generic that feels like you’re just saying sorry if I make it more specific make a Lord of the Rings or something so for everything you do. There’s like little ways that you put people in in boxes I believe you guys are here still with that dick out on these people I want to show you these two characters Clifford and Northumberland
the Springs are Classics their classics
Spencer Crittenden I have something to ask you mail will Spencer steps podcast I can as a person I don’t I don’t make a lot of plans and contact a lot of people but you this is your third time up here and are you are you bummed out that you have to keep coming up or are you looking for maybe a little bit more
you go smoke or what’s the word I’m looking for
funny cuz you gave it up a little more it up there was a friend of my people there is a restaurant there is a number of like adjectives that you can use to relieve stereotypical obviously he said it was like you know what I mean like
I want me to do is less 610 and more I don’t know 71178 need you at a 7-Eleven what I’m getting right now is like a B+ poo yeah she’s voiced by a white guy hilarious is literally a white guy anyway he’s awesome after monk first impression he doesn’t speak English and he’s like it’s just this farce of a Bill Murray trying to get out of town and rob the bank and now he can’t keep the can’t get out of New York
one of the one of the complications is is like Jason Robards places detective is one step behind Bill Murray’s trying to think of the trail Tony Shalhoub played this like like like just like on paper like he’s he’s a middle-eastern cab driver is one of the many things about New York that prevents you from getting out after a bank robbery and Ed and he’s a he’s a witness to the fact that Randy Quaid like fell out of the camper Bubba Bubba so Jason is is is is is interrogating it like where did they go where they go and and and and he’s doing a good minds think alike on paper like I couldn’t be more like like how do you like mining honking a horn he’s trying to tell them through his through his understand English I remember the first time realizing like watching short-circuit Fisher Stevens like that’s not yeah I know what we look like and it’s not that
I I just always like like like if you watch it go rent Quick Change. It’s a amazing little like 3 in the morning movie snuggle up with your girlfriend or boyfriend open-minded night and work toward your dog but not if we did whatever it took to distinct types of people who cut cut cut cut cuddle up with whatever you want to cuddle up with you hang upside down like a bat tested the wrong way to watch Quick changes what is so I don’t know I think fucking your dog and watching it might be one of the dogs in the world are people why is that a crime we have a lot of people are going to hit this podcast on some of them may want to Rabun animal while they watch Quick Change and I say good for you
what no rape but I sent you on what you are watching quick-change just watch quick-change Tony Shalhoub walks into this character that is written as a sand trap of stereotypical of a loud I love that Jesus Christ Okay the reason I said that because I didn’t see it as a thing because I’m I don’t think this is the first golfer now that you use.you used in the entire run of the show the police officer
Tony Shalhoub who is that like like
you can say what you can salvage this go watch it it’s the same Jason Robards is talking to this guy this character that may as well be Mickey Rooney Breakfast at Tiffany’s like like who didn’t say no to that interesting to look at because Tony Shalhoub like he like his his like he made some decisions walking onto the set that look I’m an actor and I’m going to make people feel this character’s pain and frustration I’m not going to make them hear his funny accent and he was like only thing I can remember from that scene is like Jesus Christ this guy is so scared and so and so and so like like like he’s a he’s alone anytime
the brink of Tears it’s just supposed to be this stupid gag about this guy that talks funny but I’m telling you like take a look at it tell me if I’m wrong email me whatever you know and I can guarantee you will get Tony Shalhoub to that one oh my God it’s not right was I think it was bad boys what does the part where they’re talkin to like a clerk at basically 7-Eleven whatever you want with that scene and the guy called him a mother bitch and I was like we know everybody if you know enough to know that big and that mother and something is a swear word you know it’s motherfuker mother bitch nobody’s ever said that funny it’s funny you guys are like Mad Libs yeah what you’re doing
yeah oh yeah oh my goodness chicken I but I better keep what the fuck down
enough all right we need us for Sedona a Moraine
better get us up today and I are on our campaign would you please
anything happen last
and I have I have a vague memory
change a scarf today is a half of it
but also I fucked that has bird and I thought the squirrel it’s like a lot of things like you fucked up against zombie I don’t know if you fucked it in the appropriate slice it was unclear as well take it relatively when we last met Our Heroes have been following Chris de Burgh the bar to the fabled ruins of Marshall home good night and before long the sound of the forest less than cognizant of the impending threat Our Heroes took a rest break discussing music studying ancient tomes and fucking Wildlife until
until a group of zombies were all but upon them
Moraine who enough a mood bargain with the party over her use of the entangled spell eventually decided to use it and captured several zombies after making quick or a several concessions the party waited for the forest to do its bidding after entangling their foes the to make the Barbarian with the help of New Blood spell cast by Sharpie made quick work of the remaining zombies stranglers this is all going to ship the party pressed on before arriving at an ancient crumbling ruin deep within the forest of Twilight
so if you can see I’m not even on the music I’m so sorry everybody got you
walking through the ruins you noticed several stone statues before you lurking and guarding the ruins within Spencer everything
thanks audience
okay so it’s cork shopping mall rain and Chris de Burgh
he wrote he wrote and performed the lady in red yeah huge hit
careers kind of father II what the world is more like a look in the mirror and I was like fish it’s too easy horses being fact it’s gone off track the masonry part of some long past ruin civilization most prominent are worn and crumbling statues stood on Stone pedestals bearing the likeness of humanoids would be Steelheads they appear to be dragging the heads the statues flank a well-worn stone floor that leads about 60 ft down to a thick stand of hymelia trees between the trees as a small crevice in the dead center of the clump of trees
I find a guy I was just saying go sorry sorry you’re the best what are you talkin about some for you I couldn’t tell you when I had a great day with no one you know I I wish yeah what a name drop that would be great just like he’s just out there
yeah what was the question who is Nolan
he’s he’s there tonight that was what’s going on yeah I know we ate at Pink’s Hot Dogs I don’t even tell you what I got it was like I thought I was going to get something and then I saw these little squares that said try these other things and I tried one of the other things what is the problem was the problem that the hot dog was too big
play the bite of a hot dog
I’m still White
are you saying that your stomach’s a little turmoil right now no not yet are you sure like a goose right now I’m past that phase that’s done a good time at the end my oscar party oh yeah you know how to throw a party Aaron
I got the time
this time can you bring the same website that Adam Goldberg go to I really enjoyed the peanut butter cake it was good to make peanut butter cake they don’t have to be separate things that make you equal to half a like you can actually have peanut butter and cake at the same time then what do you want is like the peanut butter cake I was like that’s not real
it was very real
I know there’s going to be a thing cuz if that’s already under peanut butter cake would be there if it fucking like cake farts is there
I signed my horoscope go sitting at the bottom of a shower
my name is so foggy but I’m pretty sure it’s up for a became consensual was Coco right
please stop resisting I did not I did not know I fucked whether it was Taco stands in Cocoa
does the best horse Red Joker best horse rape joke ever
name means yeah that’s pretty good
by Jeff Black Friday last last week and they fucking loved it it was consensual he says through three would have been non-consensual I rolled a 436 really consensual
she’s had better
it’s the motion of the sort
okay well that’s good news I had a great time and I’m here right yeah yeah you were you got you were leading them here zombies happened you took care of those then you came from this room in many years
last night Chris let go of what’s happening right now it’s Lady in Red
all right we’re looking down a flight of stairs will hunt down it’s been a flight of stairs like there’s there’s two there’s four statues two on either side of this path the path goes to like what seems to be an unusually thick clump of trees and in this thick clump of trees you can see like maybe a man-sized hole in the trees OK which which man are many different type of nevermind so so so that’s in there is where the soul of growth is yeah you know that for sure ya did you guys hear I haven’t LED you astray yet it’s in there all right everything to sing for my inevitable second hand into this hole and kind of like a
put you in style I do my best impression from Platoon and I go see you in a week and I
and I and II turn a little one of those Vietnam bendy flashlights and I jump down the hole
well do you want to look for Vietnam Panda flashlight on Amazon
slipping slipping through the Halo you fall about 20 ft Landing in about 6 ft 6 ft of thick foul mud below the mud is hard stone and you can’t see in the pitch-black conditions at just plunged into this thick mud and went out what I walk over light a torch and I want to throw that happens okay falling from above and hold it a lot
the room is pretty narrow but you can make out what seems to be a square in the in the far wall try not to

do you know square peg round hole that kind of thing I should mention last week do you also see several perfectly spherical fist-sized holes Perforating the way I fuck I fuck one of those holes
the first one feels good not the second one
if it’s too loose man you’re not that big
what are micros
I look right I see a hole shaped like a v i put my fist through the hole
okay yeah fists and a whole dude and then I rotate it
30 degrees to the right 40 degrees to the left when I hear the far-off set no nothing happens
I take my fist out of the whole okay I think you might have wrote yeah I mean you want to climb down climbing into the darkness below you meet with cork in the mud I use my stat that stabbed with a button on it using that staff with a button on it you climb into the hole where the people are
press the button on the ticket you know that’s the trick
I use I take one of my sax
and I throw it at the bottom of the hole and then I jump on the sack like a landing path
and I’ll pull the Rope
I will happily use your Roku examined the square at the end at the end of the it appears to be some sort of wooden board it’s caked with mud and is stuck fast to the wall by detect Magic on it it is not magic this isn’t Magic is anybody have any apps you can you can look for traps totally alright I look for traps totally traps you failed to find anything those holes are kind of suspicious but you don’t think their traps how many holes are there there’s this several I mean there’s you if you counted them you think it would be a waste of time
I count the holes
never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight there are 76 holes
I think a bunch of people just came down here I think the first guy I saw the wooden board detected traps and Magic on it and nothing happened and he was like fuck what I do and he punched and then and then whatever happened to him happened why is there a fist-sized hole it’s got to be significant and then he punched like a button and then that kept happening
so I kick I kick the wooden Square I kick it what’s your strength 2 million ability modifier is a negative modifier kicking the board you feel it give a little bit but it doesn’t budge I kick it to what’s your what’s your strength name of the place for Ability modifier you kick it to it bends it a bit better but not much can I afford if I would what are you going to pay for trying to break it I’m sorry so hard okay tell me about it
do you like to climb
she’s trying to kick you off that’s nothing to be proud of how do you want to try and also kick it
do I have some sort of battering ram I mean you don’t you have let’s see I think I have an open lock thing tonight is there a is it a lock of some sort of prize you could look for a lock if you fail to see a lock it just appears to be like sealed with some sort of wax or maybe glue to this wall I listen very carefully to the so there would like I put my ear to it I can disable device go first go ahead you hear the faint sounds of hissing coming from some other floor far off snakes
why’d it have to be snakes
it wasn’t like original and I mean it was but it wasn’t that original all of Television biting it off for like years like you seen literally every element represented in other things like when I watch Easy Rider I’m like what the fuck is awesome seeing all of it like throughout time I don’t know it was good movie where I live what did you think of my house turn
whenever I’m at work with my host and guide it was great
can I love the party Erin I don’t know how to do it
wait what just throw it away you thinking about it too much I had a farty no I actually tried it I kick it also and I’m 13 + 1 strength you kick it by the way I heard hissing on the other side of it
checks are use Rapid Fire shot and I shoot two arrows burning hands don’t look like my mom’s hair
every one of them like I used to air out of the frame they strike the board and plant fast in the board I think you just made the board stronger a guy got yelled at Burning hands can I catch burning hands in the boredom in casting burning hands on the board it is consumed in flames you see a whole about three feet in diameter and it looks like it goes some distance is my light spell have arranged to it like can I cast of Legend on an object and I’ll make it glow like a torch I take care and I’ll shoot it
yeah I mean I have arrows I have a hit song I’ve got a couple
the hit song sort of the arrow to the top of the charts back in the day but I cast light on the tip of one of Chris De burgh’s arrows
and I then intern shoot that arrow through the hole through the hole behind him very sad that was me that did it not not her
Damien might with room and herdsmen to do a camera take
call looks at him and takes her home and goes
I saw Coco again
climb the rope in fact Elko
Cut the Rope down in a Shar-Pei Stafford why do you have pages
hey how about the lighted arrow that I shot her in the back of the a story for a brief moment you can see the floor being letter lit up there seems to be a mosaic scrawled across the floor it’s big and green but you’re not sure what it’s representing cuz you know it glows in your shooting at in that plants in the wall so it doesn’t the far wall and you can see what appears to be a wooden door as well as a stone lever jetting out of the wall
do we see any snakes you don’t see any snakes I pull the stone lover you are in a different room so my small enough to squeeze through that small all going in the fortune sent I go in
I go in and I detect traps
7000 Lowell Road wasn’t it it was actually you you were older than 18 so that’s a pretty good I don’t know what’s your do you see you should have a search check do you have a light on the skills is their number they’re awesome and it’s still pretty good surveying the landscape you see a few odd there’s some scrape marks on the walls and you could see a few cracks in the ruins where where route spoke out of the walls but they seem to be cut off it definitely seems like there might be some trap about but you can’t determine its true nature guys I’m getting a weird vibe here has vines that are out of the wall somebody did cut the vines but it seemed like they were at a client’s well look where the vines are cut and see if there’s likes openings like a you know that penitent man will kneel shit from Indiana Jones 3 I guess there’s something that comes are they cut because something comes out of the walls
I just saying
you could just see only the very like bits of them come out of the walls like almost as soon as they come out of the walls that’s where they’re showing off right so something comes through here like a dick what I can I add an event you can search for trap I Don’t Mind If I Do
all right let me see if I have a spell like every everybody back up out of here I think I have a spell and I can pull that lever from a remote distance and if I if I’m wrong about that then I will have wasted your time or go take a shit smoke them if you got them all right everybody get out of the line of fire this whole I’m going to I’m going to cast Mage hand on a lever from safely outside the entrance to the whole that whole tunnel I didn’t pull that lever you pull the lever at first nothing happens but then you see movement on the wooden door far down the hall
it rumbles and then Falls forward it hits the ground and shatters part of the Mosaic causing a few cracks to run down its length you see behind the wall there is no doorway but instead just a dead end
this lever was a decoy lever I think we’re back in puzzle world. Yeah we look at the Mosaic at this point only kumail’s in this room okay so wait you are now back in the room that you guys are in yeah yeah I get back into the standard room. Now you want to go back in and look at the Mosaic there’s a giant Green Serpentine like perhaps a dragon definitely a dragon I should I take that back guys it’s definitely a dragon first I thought it was a snake kind of thing but it’s definitely a dragon
its mouth is open wide and aggression and you can see its mouth is just an entire slab of Ruby Crystal
does a ruby Crystal can I remove the Ruby Crystal I mean at this point you’re still like near these guys right I would have come to a cliffhanger here we came out at 8:10 its 10 now that means you know we put these people through worse what are they going to do complain I can’t yet that is exactly what they could do sorry I thought that would bolster them for a second. Lee funny if Eric idle did come out then are you just sitting on it like we’re going to go really long but he’s been here every week
yeah he just comes with me but I knew he’s the new me because only one like 3 in the morning I’m at Del Taco in there like sir could you please make up your mind like you know what Eric idle’s here and the guys like I don’t know
that was a emoji and mocking at the same time so can I remove Joshua this is my specialty
Ruby in red who’s that
grabbing at the Ruby you probably with all your might at the second you begin prying you hear a rumbling sound behind you
guys you’re the only one in the room at this point
turning around behind you you see that a large stone wall is rumbled down blocking your exit at the same time you feel the giant Ruby you been grabbing move and jiggle a little bit as if it’s trying to pull itself free
as if it’s trying to pull yourself free from my hands or it’s from the thing isn’t from what you’re doing is I spoke dumb it’s trying to read Gary you’re making progress pulling the Ruby out of the thing but it’s not out yet into the room with the rock service
feels useless through I’m trying to get my tunnel with my storage and make the lightest of scratches if I can work on this cannot go to work on this is far too heavy and awkward work on openable
so slowly the wall starts rumbling towards you can they hear me sure
Guys these are my last words
call now
thank you Aaron
thank you Camille nanjiani thank you come out
Erin mcgathy
that’s a cliffhanger because not Christopher just trapped in a crumbling room I wake will help us to get to say that it’s crazy I mean it’s Joseph Campbell would be very proud of us I think the belly of the thingamabob tangle-free to the station so I can talk about what we learned
would you learn go with the flow that’s kind of easy to learn
I learned that every week by having a show that pays nothing and that I don’t care if it goes good or bad like if you see piercings at this is the reason the movie don’t continue past the end as a hero I’m kind of done gently put the mic back in the stand and walk off the stage and allows that to be the end of the show
but let me ask you one thing
I don’t know that’s not what you’re supposed to just say you’re supposed to be the master walk so what’s that loud suicide the master does his job and walks away from that you should just walk walk away and leave these people with a confidence of knowing that you’ve done your job
what are you going to ask them
what if it feels awkward
it’ll feel awkward if you let them know it’s awkward
you nailed it. Did the term break a leg comes from not from like the actress Superstition it comes to make it to the end because bauling you really were you break your back leg like you kind of bend your leg that means make it to the end and it’s lowering yourself to the audience and thanks thank you for coming so I can see you just did a deep bow to the audience likes thank you from John Wilkes Booth breaking his leg after shooting the president that had now the only broken ankle
that’s like your leg
the alternative is that you have to leave these people with some sort of special message
it’s lonely
you’re all by yourself out that damn
people pay $10 a special drill from Simi Valley
I want to hear from Estonia tonight
is that true no
a lady
in the beginning
there was nothing
nothing headed internity to decide that nothing was worse than something nothing split into a million something’s AKA everything you were part of that everything
so is the person next to you
no matter who fires you
no matter whose laundry is left in your apartment complexes dryer half dry
no matter who writes notes on your company’s refrigerators Grey Poupon saying touching died and then writes notes on the door of the fridge saying everything in here after Friday will be thrown away
let me know how many recycling bins you can’t tell from regular pins
no matter how many pains in your nuts in your kidney in your forehead and the back of your neck no matter how much hair you see in your shower drain
no matter what you look like from the side in the mirror after you take a shet
no matter what some crazy lady said about you that you’ve lived came back to you after you went out with her for a week and then you found out she said something weird about you because you ran into someone at Kmart
phone number
you are a citizen of harmontown
you belong you belong if your humans do you belong if you leave wheels or improve your isms and your itis is at the door I didn’t look better look good back
I bet game Ryan Ridley
once again on Jeff Davis
and Lee Marvin everybody singing that’s my new closing


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