Episode
Episode: 49 – Jock Jams and Pearl Jams
Description
Man versus lion, Space Jam versus Goonies, Leprechaun versus his own sexuality. Brian W. Collins retires his horror movie blog. Kumail Nanjiani and the rest of the D&D party finish their battle with specific parts of a dragon.
Transcript
hello everybody
California
what day is the mayor of Hermantown mr. Jan Harmon
yeah all right happy Saint Patrick’s Day aftermath right you’re a little hungover Jeff entire day on the couch eating over eating and watching David Attenborough animal documentaries human planet on a John Hurt narrates I think the beginning of the title sequence because there’s only one Animal Planet does whatever it wants something like that it’s not really
it’s better written than that but I always at the end of it I compulsively have to go
thought I’d share that with you it’s kind of interesting I thought I knew mostly everything about like why why I should be proud of people and being one of them cuz usually you’re being told by the television to be ashamed of Being Human you know and there’s a lot of reasons to be ashamed if you want to dwell on that for instance we rape people murder each other we’re destroying the whole thing whatever we’re doing all kinds of terrible things to ourselves and each other side like yeah but kind of a cool like awkward like monkey species that’s sort of like you know Rose to prominence and there is no Underdog Story there but
I thought I thought I had long time ago oh no not really not at all that matters is that story if you tell you a story about species which is likely we are in the opening of the third Act of the Bad News Bears we’re not even it’s not that game I never saw it I don’t know
but the human Planet these guys for lions are they get food by waiting for Lions to attack like an animal like a gazelle or something and then they just they they have this technique like John Hurt he’s not because they’ve got an interesting technique but first they have to wait for the lion to make it skill and what is there going to be some weird saying like a fishing pole and then I got $20 I can understand your confusion
sneak up and scare the Lions off know they don’t stress that they don’t sneak up the whole thing is they just roll up like I guess they just they just they just they just think they kind of like walk up like like they’re going to get a paper and then I love this show is like all these people that you’re visiting her and all the corners of the earth they all have their own language you don’t know what the hell they’re saying that the subtitles he’s kind of like they’re modern subtitles cuz they kind of float Nike frames a little bit they said they float a little bit they float a few pixels to the right as the people checked but the weird thing is none of the people that like if you if these subtitles are actual translations that America is the only place that has any linguistic Nuance at all everyone everywhere else if there’s a guy climbing a tree to get the honey he only ever says like I found I found bees with honey it’s there’s lots of honey in here
his friend after 20 years of doing this he doesn’t have any fucking like lingo yet
that’s what the fuck is going on now now we make our move at least get his two guys that have blood on their faces cuz you know Dad gets a load of eating it and some of them have names and the other ones don’t and I think there’s some significance there anything these aren’t scrawny lad is that looks like these are like zoo lions he’s our big fat fucking scary giant lions and like like like the kind you would get a wax sculpture of a out of a machine and others 15 of them what machine dispensers wax lions
that’s not a universal thing no oh okay well the Milwaukee County Zoo had these machines Coffee County Zoo it’s actually a machine makes a wax Lion at the Milwaukee County Zoo there was a machine almost every every exhibit on a category there was a penguin there was a lion there was a giraffe like if you went there you know they kind of dry you had to put a quarter in her a dollar I’m sure it inflated but when I was a kid it was a machine that would that really none of that none of what I’m about to tell you is going to make a lot of sense to Modern ears but this was before the internet and also before I hit puberty so I got it makes sense to me it was a big machine and you put coins in it and it it was kind of transparent what it was doing a lot tubes and metal things in it and it would you would put enough coins and it would
I need metal things have come to gather I didn’t like colored wax would the plastic would go through these tubes into the Singapore
I would but it would drop it hot dangerous melted plastic lion into a tray that the machine very specifically told you I’ll McDonald’s giving you an apple pie like your fault if you hit somebody in the front row is a holding it gave me a picture of one of one at it he got a Google
molding machine that makes you a lion or a plastic injection as a judge Nelson would say plastic injection later on their plastic injection
garage door plastic to wrap on you cuz there’s holes in the bottom of it and that’s where the plastic go like that’s the umbilical point for the for the mother Plastic Machine and if you hold it the wrong way ostensibly melted melting molten plastic with drip on your child hands rendering them forever claw-like self-loathing Phantom of the zoo feeding goats out of your weird useless flipper
no woman was touch me in the parking lot I turned it to Peter Lorre
I took on a weird accent and I can’t betray any ways not to get tonight’s going to be a free night I don’t want to get up tonight show it’s called Focus
when I tell you they were
faces of those kill out yet because I use that handy reference to that plastic molding machine you guys know exactly what I mean by 20 lions
I completely forgot what you’re talking about
lions in the wild you know their kind of their kind of getting no pun intended. I guess pun intended but but but also not concelebrated they’re getting they’re getting caddy with each other you know they’re like they’re connected the dots I proceeded as usual I did everything I needed to do I got in the airlock I took a deep breath I told everyone was happening I said Chad and some lady lala lala
so these the lions like they’re eating and they’re they’re in a mode you know that there are there in a point in there and their day and their lives where even another lion is pissing them off there like you know femur muscle I don’t know I don’t want this please I want this because I wouldn’t have started using the fever muscle you know what I mean yeah family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, never misses that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Blackstone amount each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes related my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment
and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest film nerdiest film nerves like ever you’re always in good hands adventures in Black for them up with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
is that is not only my pet peeve like when you go to eat with your girlfriend into the Ducks fine and I’m like yeah you want to try the the the duck butt and that you don’t you don’t you don’t bite on it cuz you come from a family of four people that guarded their food so you want you want to try something I don’t want to try the chicken I know it’s a fucking setup
you want to do an interview want to do want to get into a food exchange where the net result is you get my duck
I win dinner
so when you wake your losses when you watch a documentary about lions over a krakus you connect the dots that you having dinner with your girlfriend. Now I’m just so what up what I’m telling you is that well in order to explain to you what the State of Affairs of these liens but raising over this this is gazelle-like they’re not being polite they’re not load into a state of graciousness these are lions at the height of their lioness they’re they’re like so mad that another lion could but they’re like I’m you know I’m eating I’m eating
blankets for shirts they got nothing they don’t have like special lion guns or like rocks that they they know make a lion choke or I contact and I just start walking and lying lying lying lying
nothing like that big truck they just used to carry a g a t e gate
is slowly change their address by one digit
no they walked in the fucking
these guys mean business
wait a minute those are those are walking more food than just stole our food you know you know that you’re hungry when you’re chasing Lions off a kill give you a bag but this is Africa
Christmas tree shopping under the subtitle say like we got lucky with those Lions today
I know they could have beaten us yet totally bad there’s like these God damn it what is it it’s or something in the in the trees what does the thing and in theirs as birds that I don’t want to spoil the ending but you know what I’m talking about
birds that like yeah you’re okay there’s like these Locust like birds as they’re basically the equivalent of locusts when they like eat everything but now these are birds it’ll eat their crap so they let the humans have developed a different solution to a problem at the end of a rather clever trick a symbiotic relationship of gasoline
entire Forest explodes and then they move out of the next subject he doesn’t comment on it it’s nothing a human being very interesting species and I think it’s important to embrace it and say you know what you’re all right Humanity you’re at you’re all right if you could be another animal I can kill myself I would be a suicidal porpoise
I would purposely go out of my way to find the places where people dispose of the those six-pack rings and not cut them responsibly so I can hang myself to give a choice are you a predator a scavenger a victim of herbivore carnivore I am I mean can I be an autotroph can I be a photosynthetic kind of just like mushroom anime be a mammal
Rihanna discovered manatees manatees that they cruise around the Grays on grass and nobody because they’re too big and fat and I can cruise around there is stuff like that like at the top of the food chain that’s nicely vegetarians and nobody eats giant fat people
play Yeah Yeah by propellers that you wouldn’t have a manatee brain right you would he would be like you’ll be like Albert Brooks as a manatee Manatee I would choose I’m just saying I’d be a Bruce Willis Manatee Middle lake
oh boy look up a pellet for me hold me twice
come to Miami hang out the channel
I would be I would be or you could be at Liam Neeson Manatee my well-known impressions
I want to fight you know what
listen to Duncan Trussell podcast like like I like I like to think of the most of our audience is kind of overlapping cuz I think if you if you like the meal you get here it’s it’s pretty tasty over there as well and vice-versa but job but I mean right now if you if you haven’t jumped aboard like right now like I feel like this is hyperbolic podcast history something that you just listed his mom is dying he just recovered from testicular cancer which is completely unrelated to him and his mom is mom is succumbing to breast cancer I believe is this and it’s like it’s just incredible over to the side of the road when he was just talking about it he’s in he’s in North Carolina you know getting her Affairs in order and talking to her and stuff and then that was it was already enough just him talking about it was mind-blowing the way that this guy is able to cope with the things of the fundamental things that causes suffering
and it did the big giant Cosmic elephants in the cosmic room like he’s it’s not like he’s a man he’s not Cesar Millan in them but he had that he is able to look like you’re not supposed to he knows that you’re not supposed to and it just like I don’t know the along with what she talked about the stuff and then and then on top of all that just the most recently now the most recent episode it is he has his mom he’s interviewing his mom literally on her deathbed there is no skirting around it they’re not nor are they joking about it a larious Lee it’s not depressing it’s not it’s not fake uplifting it’s just honest and sincere and incredible in and there must be some kind of because this is how I process things there must be some kind of party award
find me a cottage at I want to reduce everything I can about a ward that was great
does a joke but I guess you got to be so you can have that petting party which makes it sound like pooping in a woman’s dying and I’m like yeah but I have a joke that I’m doing and then like yeah we get it you’re not entitled to a last from one of the reasons nothing is wrong with them but you were very ill at ease in there that we were in the ER I don’t like hospitals for sure you look really like freaked out well I mean here’s the thing I don’t make a lot of eye contact in general in emergency room is a 3-foot like closet so if you’re not making eye contact in an emergency room it’s like you don’t really have it it’s kind of like you can either stare at your friend in an emergency room bed or you can do what you did which is you shut up for 5 minutes anyway I’m bored and you left which is fine
do validate we just have that hilarious right now we all did like a bit so we had a great time I don’t know that nobody I might be dying like do you know how many I’m going to use that forever now every time I will take pictures and do bits about the environment stuff but yeah I mean I mean the fact that I don’t I don’t like my friends and hospitals and I don’t like strangers in the hospital I get to this people that get lightheaded the people to get sick of this time I got more of the stomach kind I got to get a little queasy and I want to see people hurt cracks and stuff when I get really like like I want to puke
all right maybe he he he he he he he he he ha ha
basic human rights people have is performer as seen on the rent if you if you if they feel like this for us if they found on their toes like Johnny Carson at the end of something you can give him a call even if you don’t think it’s funny cuz I didn’t know whether to weather the Marriott or drive it
Jesus Christ it’s not you I’m not running for office is doing a show it’s all a joke I don’t know what I’m saying but I do know what I’m watching and sometimes what I’m watching are horror movies and last last week we wait he wasn’t here but he’s here this weekend it’s actually it turns out he’s he’s he’s currently in the process of retiring in horror movie add a Blog and we’ve gotten out we’re actually more time to bring them up so God smiled Upon Us booking wise Villa can we bring to the stage Brian W Collins is he here
is he here and maybe he’s not here by Sarah okay.
Brian’s here you can grab one of those
call Brian and time for me and I mean as far as I know you’ve been here since since long before we even start podcasting I but I don’t know or care but I made it we’ve talked to you often and I know you is as a friend and that you have this blog which I have never visited but that I find it fascinating how much is a Surefire symptoms of narcissism Waco you’re like all my friend this is really interesting thing and still though I’m going to read this Tumblr entry about myself one more time and it’s no wonder my brain is decaying like like like I was like eating eating with LED paint of my own ego and I got a pack of course I’m going to die of something to tell us about your blog in a nutshell and know that I’m a bad interview
so yeah just a little over six years ago I started watching horror movies everyday and in a couple weeks into it I just decide to start writing reviews as well that does it thank you
and you know I saw you being like an editor I never really wrote much so it is kind of figuring out how to write reviews everyday 6 * 355 anybody good at math
1800 days are March 31st so first question is how does that start like like like like this what happened was that I rented you know just from Netflix at all happen to be hard and they’re sitting on my like my couch for four months and I was like looking at my plate I could have just bought these three movies by now there’s a lot of this 2017 the way what do you mean you bought them as opposed to what was opposed to paying for Netflix or 3 months for nothing cuz it is before instant so it’s just the discs has bought these in my car at you sleep for 8 hours you work for 8 hours is 8 hours a day I’m doing something like a nice watch a horror movie
are you single at the time or it was no actually the only time I ever missed a day was like a week after I started my wife and I took like a star 5 year anniversary of data that we went down to 20 Beach Road like a four-day weekend and I missed one day then serious wow and I didn’t watch the movie yet I got to work
it’s part of the day now so I mean I don’t it it’s not hard to Lake I mean every now and then things get busy but Leprechaun in the Hood in the hood up to no good no good what do you think about the genre is it is it like cheesecake is it like like like like this in a comfort food like the genre of horror as opposed to sci-fi fantasy as opposed to Tom Cruise Thriller is it is it is what what it what is is there a factory must have thought about this some time in six years will Tom Cruise Thriller Des lak to me and started watching her that day like I’m going to do it since I like six or seven
like doing special effects makeup and you know editing and stuff like that so to me like you can really get away with more when you doing hard as opposed to like like romantic comedies we kind of have to fit that for me to read discs are you is it like 2 years ago that this TV movie that I saw that the kids so don’t go to sleep they know that one now to sleep I’m good as it was a TV heart that back like when they did made-for-tv movies every week it’s about a little girl that gets possessed by the spirit of her older sister who died in a car accident and she blames the family so she systematically wiped out there and there’s this bit where it’s like she’s possessed and she has a pizza cutter and she’s just like going up the stairs of the pizza cutter and like she goes upstairs and kills her dad with it and like that treat the shit out of him was like six or seven afraid of
the obvious antithesis to the horror sex which is the ultimate creative accuprint your your procreating you’re creating life and death which is just thought it looked like this is the battery that charges a human life like like like we’re avoiding we’re we’re afraid we’re all going to die we know that we’re going to die and we’re also like driven to like make a life and live life and so and there probably isn’t equal volume of actually I bet Horrors got it got it got it like doubled or tripled but but like you could watch a ROM, day you can try and I like and you wouldn’t necessarily end up having a loop back on yourself I think they might make one a day did big question is why isn’t that like a visceral like like staying and I think the answer has to do with the honesty level of a of a of a of a society that’s like high on the hog I think that I think going to post Spielberg Ian’s box office World your you just not allowed to be a
creative with love as you are with death I think what we have decided that death because we elude it daily and end of kind of compartmentalised it we can actually you can put have Clint Howard in your movie and and and have them stab him in the head with an ice cream cone and I do not like I can go and go experimenting with death and encouraged because we cartoonify death because we don’t actually we’ve turned funeral parlors in to know the parlors of our homes in two in the living rooms and nnn been put Funeral Parlor down the street and meet dead bodies think of you a lot and we compartmentalize death in Western society and so like movies are like
magic romance however is like it’s on these rails it’s like like like like okay like this guy’s a bad guy because he’s at you don’t get to a million fun creative things with your dick in a vagina that’s pornography that’s not it it look like horror is still not considered pornography but it’s like it’s equally voluminous and also dealing with the primary colors of of of of what we deal with like we’re all scared of monsters and dying and stuff I win I win the contest with myself to see if I can explain why horror movies are good how many of them are bad because for the reasons are describing any like a lot like it actually like more hacks or probably attracted to the bug lamp that is all the horror genre
unfortunately not only the lot of bad movies there are no offense bad fans and that they’re like you do you get you guys to talk to my last week the guys that like pink Sharktopus and these Sci-Fi movies the funny so you can make pretty much anything and not only will people watch it but it’s easy to sell because you know that most horror movies are independent and it’s like I owe you killed three people in it cool we can put that on the cover and you know sell it in Germany and tell her we hear romantic comedy tell each other things you can’t like make like a low-budget wrong, and instantly get that so yeah I’ll never run out of horror movies if I was quitting cuz it’s always going to be hacks that I like you can you can browse through an Apple TV and eat that think God for the preview feature where you can see from the trailer and I didn’t even mixer sound like
2500 are you going to be happy to not have to watch it anymore are you still going to continue to watch her to do stuff from websites now then like I actually might be working for Netflix as like a horror expert of some sort of feel like it but I just won’t like wake up and all right I got to find time to watch like some some of the coins equal or something like if I start watching a movie and it’s terrible I’ll be like a normal human being like you guys and shove it the fuck off The Stance of the leprechaun a franchise one other I want you wanted that he’s gone to the hood twice so
it’s an intriguing back from space and image of the hook with paper you could write because everyone kind of widely will say as a knee-jerk response if you’d bring up the leprechaun franchise that leprechaun I think it was 3 in the hood in the hood or two for was in space and 5 and 6 of weight but the two hoods were in a row yeah okay but it was it was better when he was in the hood in the hood you can tell watching the first one like like like like that it was like it felt like it was written by white screenwriters I don’t know any of this is true. I can fight with every one cracked me that this is what it felt like I’m not I’m not a journalist here to White screenwriters going like the black people
what’s put the people in the theater that are always yelling that crazy stuff let’s put them in the movie and have them yell the stuff at the leprechaun it felt like they were treated like this weird like like half love half hate like half a racist half like like like the cultural like in bold nothing like the full black screen writer who is who is just working organically and not from a weird entomology perspective by some guy going what they like here I think the leprechaun as Black America which is you ugly mother fucker and then pop a cap in I’m trying to pop a cap at him show him that the cat popping doesn’t work shown why they want to know
we asked them after the first two movies I why wouldn’t they pop a cap
you know and and let’s show and let’s show him pop a cap and then have the Caps pop right back out and then now you’re invested and I kind of I kind of agree with that plastic dialect but but we watched like three of them for Saint Patrick’s Day leprechaun if that’s his name definitely like watch these movies again he’s a he he very very many times under a variety of circumstances ends up pretending to be a woman a man horny and then killing them like like right as the guy is like about to climax he never does the other thing he never liked him if he wants to just kill someone he can just rip their finger off or
he’ll just go like
I’ll just rip your leg off so it’s like weird that he’s sometimes then I’ll Crouch behind a crate or a bed and he’ll just like a guy I’ll be taking out the mail and then and then so a woman come here and it’ll just be the sexy lady and then I’ll just keep cutting a leprechaun back in the crate going on
and he does it over and over and over again and it keeps I think it kind of Escalades I got I feel like the Leprechaun series is about another level it’s a bad and I buy curious kind of mythical creature like you see if you feel like he’s getting more and more either honest or dishonest I can’t tell cuz one of them’s about him here when I want to marry this woman but then he keeps out he’s like I’ve got you ever does anything with her and then if you keep making excuses to go out and just posed as more women in Hempstead fake fake leprechaun sex with men you know I don’t know watch it tell me what you think I just put more thought into leprechauns equals than any other
that may be true but but mythology has a life of its own and I feel the story being told with the leprechaun character he’s like Ulysses you know he’s at he’s his own character and I think that his character exists in a Maelstrom of sexual feelings and I feel I feel like he’s like popping out of the in in in in in in modern America and he’s going like
to go to as a place like it’s now a little more okay I could have a lot of fun around here watching him like kind of personal boundaries like he’s getting over his own cathexis but he’s like when he gets increasingly like more sexually amorphous as the series continues thank you Adam Goldberg says they’re making another one cuz otherwise I hope it’s called like leprechaun in the gloves are off and the fan and buy gloves we means sexual Hang-Ups and have them just leave it up maybe it’s just about you know like like him doing his thing like like why why I have to end it with a guy’s face getting cut off you know if we’re clearly that if you look at the
amount of time to spend in each Leprechaun movie percentage-wise it’s really the more important theme in these movies is bisexuality
exit I didn’t watch all the secrets we keep up with it anymore it’s like they stopped him by throwing shoes at him cuz he had a thing where you had to clean shoes you watch do you watch over 2,000 movies now through more than one Leprechaun the Leprechaun the advocacy and then whatever is but at some point in my life a friend of mine got his hands on a copy of Child’s Play It Was a Mexican or Spanish to Spanish dub of Child’s Play and it is hilarious is the best fucking thing if you want to have a good time with your friend get Spanish Childsplay because that is Speedy Gonzales
really really little little little Spanish guy is hilarious because he really is like he just sounds like it like an immigrant like an illegal alien
it takes on a different man also different not horror break into is that about anytime turbo is on Freeze Frame because he’s making the funniest face in the world ice to send it to me anytime turbos on the camera hit pause funniest thing you’ve ever seen in your life get high and watch break into and hit the
we did it we should have like like like Oprah’s Book Club we can have like a week and I’ve been assigned let’s all watch before we reconvene one movie that we can watch this week that’s all I talked about maybe we’ll pick one by the end of the show and experiment with that concept. It’s on blogspot I mean I don’t know how you guys feel about that got you a little bit a little / through your URL and then murder it horror movie a day that code for visiting I saw the eve of your
thank you Brian
he seems like an okay guy
seems like I lose my mind watching that many horror movies. I like I like I like I like random like like like I need something like that I need some kind of thing to come into my life where I’m like I’m I have a thing
you know where you got like okay I’m going to do this thing now as it’s called Minecraft Minecraft everyday or something you could turn something unhealthy into something healthy and structure you know but that’s not going to be at that’s dumb that’s a dumb idea if you just pitched it was a dumb idea I’m going to I’m going to do stain glass in my basement want to make a stained glass duck
I want to make I’m going to make my own BB gun
how to make a BB gun that’s going to fuck by a real BB
I’m going to I’m going to I’m going to I’m going to bring this podcast next weekend you were talking at making BB guns where is my step count is my job I need a hobby let’s keep the train rolling and bring a bring a bring biscuits Spencer up here huh because
we also watch Space Jam last night I got drunk and went home I miss that I’m good I’m good that was a measured response did you stay for all the Space Jam like I left pretty early I mean I’ve seen that movie but I used to watch that a lot I had you know what were those the Martian guys called monstars know before that they had it like a dumb name that wasn’t a team then it was like something Ling I think I don’t know. Stuffed animal versions of all the puny little versions was pretty awesome and I had like a favorite you know but they were all really like cut and paste before they got like super powers so yeah I don’t know so they’re just different colors I was like I do Marie and Newman in this room you know given the age
really not knowing that it’s terrible and not ironically or is it isn’t ironic love
so you left because Michael Jordan is a protagonist in or wait all I remember is Marvin Martians at it right this isn’t he out there like a in it and they play the I tried to run through today the narrative like like kind of cascade ending with the answer to why are they playing basketball why what are the stakes a good start 5 interracial ends up on a on a planet that is both animated but not Looney Tune Planet it’s a planet of animated monsters that need Amusement Amusement shortage and the boss of that planet says I want the Looney Tunes to work for us and he sends his henchmen at the henchmen go and they make the little images you have to work for us and then
tunesgo you don’t they use Bugs Bunny clever power2go hey we have to get a chance to fight back before you indenture as into servitude and instead instead of just saying you’re not allowed to do this Bugs Bunny says you have to give us a right to a chance to fight back and they okay how and they okay they are they’re really small so let’s play basketball so then because they say basketball the monster aliens steal the talent from Charles Barkley and Little Penny or whatever he was there ever was in the Nike commercial back then they all grow big because that means they’re talented and end
the because they do that than the Looney Tunes going up Duck Michael Jordan from a golf course meanwhile there’s a bee story to the movie with details Michael Jordan’s emotional Journey from going from basketball player to baseball player to golf hobbyist and friend of Bill Murray
meanwhile walks into and out of the movie of his own
anytime he wants middle of his own scenes do it just because just go yeah well that’s what I’m trying to
disappear from coverage character played by the fat guy from Jurassic Park who I couldn’t weigh night is kind of there’s another character is Michael Jordan agent or something but anyway like I said if I were to start trying to be here till like 9 p.m. when there are people that love the movie on its own merits or simply because you were from Chicago and Michael Jordan live there it was great
what’s the name Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon space Space Jam apologist for I will see if she agrees some movies or so like a loud and big and weird and said of such a time in your life that’s why I brought up the Xanadu Compares a good movie and insane movie though and it was part of my child at all right go to Shannon like that’s a horrible movie and I don’t actually have any connection to it but you have an emotional connection to a Space Jam but you could probably recognize with your adult brain
you know it doesn’t stop me from having it kind of an emotional reaction to it even now in adulthood Goonies I’m looking at you like my generation I’m 40 now I can finally start saying this without getting booed because I’m getting so old but ten years ago if I said Goonies was shity which it is
it is Goonies this ridiculous cacophony of logical loop de Loops Opera written by a Madman in a Foot Locker
at the bottom of the ocean like there is a movie as a whole Space Jam Space Jam
I almost had him Goonies is better than Space Jam good goodie-goodies knows what it’s doing wrong
Space Jam will kill again if you don’t like it up
I got your other movie
Rudy’s in playing like like like like like I’m a movie like I think now they know
two weeks we focus on the trunk character more and and do more blender scenes with I don’t feel like Space Jam knew what it was doing how many times how many times have you Space Jam I haven’t seen it in quite a while because my parents have been on VHS and nobody fucking his VCR anymore
you can problem shirt space jams on YouTube I mean it’s not I don’t know yeah I’m 49 okay
Jenna what are your favorite movies of all time is it what what do you think of as your best year ever like your favorite genre of your favorite kind of movie are your favorite do you have a favorite movie is the last time you saw it probably in the last year because they’re both right around the same time but it was like a study in okay there are movies from your from a certain age when your brain was like firing certain chemicals like you have permanent imprints on these movies and I would call him identical walking into that theater as a 30 something I was like I’m going to see Goonies in Back to the Future 2 indelible. Come comfortable like masterpieces of mine from my childhood era but walking out of here I was like okay come on Goonies was is a nostalgic mess Back to the Future I take remains is kind of a well-structured like a little
piece of Cinema that took seven years to write and unblock what we talked about
Space Jam Space Jam versus Stripes like I’m afraid to go back and watch as my point because there’s it’s eleven thirty-five year old pretending to join the military
clearly people that 40 that are in this lunatic’s really funny and everybody is drunk and John Candy John Larroquette everybody is just a bunch of alcohol has a very strange it’s got a three-act structure overall but it also exists in two giant act because there’s the point where they actually like in the eleventh hour like but it by the movies only halfway over at Trader Joe’s weird action movie with the RV and stuff which it but it was good the good Batman movie right now is the only truck Chase okay talk it
thank you Shannon Shannon everybody thanks for coming up and talking about
Space Jam
Space Jam space exactly where the letter of each word
a more than you it was dropped, I was at that point where any part of any branch
Google Finance I stepped out of hornets nest
I know more than the 80s I was there for all of us
Jim did not become a bigger saying
Universal
the 90s that have jock jams and Pearl Jam’s and we project come on Jeff terrible
I know we are we have feelings
it was a it was a great time to be an angry white guy invent be all bummed out or if I can help it
call the Nemo and just kind of like like both embraced it and wrote it off it was like it was being presented as if this is the new thing I think that was what was uncomfortable for people online for not liking Pearl Jam it’s going to happen I don’t think that’s going to happen in this audience look at these two there they have little little hologram dongles that they used to subscribe to their music from a from a stream in a cloud in emotional they don’t let you know they got you here here that new granddaddy
I heard that EP was a l p s p
you know now I don’t
I don’t either I’m just trying to get their energy into buying an album and then get something to defend but if you download zigger split it and I know you listen to a whole fucking catalog of shit like everyone’s an individual like you know it’s the day that they said they don’t really care that much if someone goes I had no one’s going to go in my wishes for the younger generation to be more and actually actualized maybe Spencer are you music purchaser do the are you a music guy know I mean I I listen to lots of music I don’t purchase a lot of music how do you how do you how do you get your music, you know sometimes I’m just on my computer and this is like this is legal stuff band system they’re going to
all on me and then sometimes more of them coming like a Torrance okay
you just get caught in a tempest of a peer to peer pressure
Steven stealing music online all the time because I mean I’ve bought maybe three albums in my life but I I I mean like so if you will pay the piper days of Music probably I usually get discographies and then I’m like oh I like this album is this album and delete a lot of stuff and then I let you know have what I like and I kind of just cycle through it randomly what’s in heavy rotation for you right now I was in the car let’s see Boards of Canada has some good tracks yeah I think the campfire headphase the album I’m listening to a lot. There’s a DeLorean is a band with an album called subiza which is just really delicious gold Panda makes this really weird and it’s pretty it’s pretty awesome it I listen to it at an airport and it was perfect
there’s one in the nose, you know nose cone he had some some some deep YouTube refs I was really into that way I just made that I was ripping the audio Yeah I’m bullshiting also I thought I thought I ripped a real guy
I wanted to cop to it I felt bad at at
Camellia like no time no I like the peaceful mutton still really good right now is clearly from NBA Jam in which it was a huge basketball game in the night Adam Goldberg as if that’s what you were saying
the other point you give it too much jet for exposition to get Elmer Fudd and Michael Jordan in the same room. Just be like oh Madonna, Like A basketball court Michael Jordan’s are hanging out the same number of hopes that they jumped to get Elmer Fudd Michael join the same room one they jumped Michael Jordan is there a literal and figurative threshold they sucked him through a golf course hole into cartoon land and Elmer Fudd was right there at at Ohio I’m Michael. And I wish I was with you what do I what they’re crying that they committed why do I am not defending this movie at all or fun dip for fun defendant
it’s really good
you’re saying it’s a necessary evil because of the because of the subject matter that there needs to be five thresholds instead of one threshold than I was saying that will never be true until our sun Supernova our stories are allowed to just have one fucking like what if I’ve never full disclosure never seen the movie
or finish the word disclosure never done that
is one Village that just eats sharks that’s all they were just like sort of an arrogant douche move you know you have fruit what are you doing that’s what they’re going for so they have one guy in the village who’s the designated Shark Hunter and now he’s like 70 and then they just extend this guy out is it all right I’ll go get more shark and he gets into a canoe that he’s made he’s like 7 and he’s like yeah that’s what I was going to tell you like like Nepal rib do you know not like Jim reps like like Sri Lanka rep so he gets into the bug
Becky goes I want to go to the middle of the ocean and then he starts singing his shark beckoning song sweaty well I don’t want to do the song for you cuz yeah that’s what it is
it was something with sound like this what the songs I like pretend you’re racist and then imagine a tribal song that’s what it’s called
what was that song sadness but everything’s going backwards or whatever a shark all day all night on day three or shark shows up to the song I once without the song one time a control group
either either I either I believe it was a coincidence or that the magical shot beckoning song lyrics and everything I know is lies you know it only takes 6 without a song this truck takes place in line to show up and then he starts fashioning a noose which I’m like half the Neuse already freshened you’ve been there for 3.
Act like you been there you know
show me to be do have VIP so he always be making I’ve got a 12 foot boat I’ve got a custom made truck news that’s my name so he Fashions this news and as the shot is my favorite part as a shark is going by he lassos the shark in the open ocean sea lassos that and then I swear he does like a fist bump emoji guess the only option we have SD card the store that footage
you just hang out with wearing blankets for shirts and fluff in Lansing, I mean what’s happening here is that all the pictures were like that they were like we do you know they’re like looking up at this thing just helicopter and they were like we didn’t want to disturb them who they want to go down for you already changed everything there is no God no
it’s like Iceman if this is all lies look at that thing
look at that God what have I been saying yeah I told you they’re clearly like all of them have like their bows and arrows like when you get this thing like you changed everything living in enacting legislation to the point that kind of contamination but also there’s just like these people and they know what a camera crew is there bringing a camera to a longer than they’re saying like bring your your 18 cattle from from six hundred miles across the desert with the elephants with a stick and I just mean like emotional psychological long-term contamination of like this sixteen-year-old kid gun like go faster
you show them on your iPad like Phantom Menace I can watch this all right we’re going to go see him again that you here tonight with Karen McAfee up here so the only thing I wanted from that movie with the leprechaun to refer to as part of gold as bling that is all I wanted out of it that might have happened after the first of her kind of new hood and maybe cuz I didn’t put never lie to me or whatever like it was a very selective like a membrane in terms of what racism got through and what they refuse to do is very very weird like you’d look at one example and go like well that’s just that’s just ridiculous like why would you do that and then and then the other one got what why would you choke up on that bat examples but the
watch Leprechaun tonight here’s an interesting thing in the movie where where he has beguiled this Trio of hoochie mamas badonkadonks I don’t know what you call them in the parlance of the preferred nomenclature there is Amba flylady there zombie Twilight on earth right so of like like Yaz. They have green eyes underneath are Ray-Bans and they have like gold tight-fitting wool made dresses and and and they don’t match with their shoes step through some weird ATR line then they’re just there then during the ending credits of the origin he does a rap back to see Warwick Davis do a rap
and he doesn’t do it till the ending credits music
you’re not alone while he’s doing it he’s like he’s like hypnotizing these Fly Girls in this bar that we saw the movie the middle of the movie where it really belongs and I think the only reason I can think they extracted is that they actually hit some kind of threshold where people detest viewers are like I thought I I want to I want to like I want to like make fun of the movie I don’t want to let you know I don’t want that but I don’t want you to Piranha 3D me and I started rapping it’s like what what am what’s my job I’m supposed to get high and watch a movie if you guys are high fuck you
are there any way to do you know what people people like that it can’t be like that it’s stupid they want to make fun of the movie like we need to actually commit to our job and move this wrap number to the ending credits or thing that they had too many like cultural like other people when I call right that’s too much over the credits you can be as offensive as you want of pound-for-pound I thought that they actually like that I found myself be quote-unquote offended you know just kind of safe is pretty safe for a movie called Leprechaun in the Hood I just feel like he warn’t Davis has said little people rights back like so many hundreds of years with his body of work or is he is he is he like you know you do like
Urban Youth the way out is basketball or rapping now it’s like becoming in a horror movie that’s like a cycle is like on it you know unrealistic expectations are or whatever that you would call it no idea but I want to see a black box theater production about a mythical meeting on a fateful 1998 night between Peter Dinklage and Warwick Davis who plays it like what if what if on the eve of his assassinated Martin Luther King and Malcolm X like had a conversation like that I have you have normal people play the like midnight little people cuz you’re like like like you know this is strapping for god sakes
is that what you’re suggesting door Style
thank you for coming to eat didn’t you pitch an idea where it’s just leftovers that it was like just quite bites taken out of burgers and stuff I got my question was one of these things shaped like the fight that they’ve already taken out of it
you can call it are you going to finish that
I spent the day at the end
all right I will
last town on harmontown with a group of sinister Serpentine foes Sharpie at been poison is the fast-acting poison coursing through his veins the wizard fell into a deep Slumber realizing what must be done mulrain Sedona Don her had a disguise taking the form of someone she thought looks must look like Sharpies mother before attempting some Curious reprogramming on this leaving mage
Cork and Chris de Burgh got uncomfortable and checked out some old statues to pass the time but realizing the plaza in moraines methodology attempted to grease The Wheels on the whole situation after being ripped white tightly by the training with her Christopher freaked out and stabbed him with a knife waking the wizard with a quick prick after some discussion the group entered the larger chamber bisected by a cracked staircase and started to try and figure out some rope situations to get the treasure their musings we’re interrupted by a powerful voice telling them the dragon recognizing the dire danger that this magical beasts presented the game launched into action the Barbarian / new rage and then tried to climb up the statue or something more rain fired arrows Sharpies dump some in the Monstrous scorpions Keith and David to distract in threaten the Dark Dragon Ball Heroes Dragon damn the dragon in the dick with a paralyzing syringe via text seem to be working but still the dragon fought on
Spencer everybody again
I just remembered last week marked a milestone where we played D&D for like 40 minutes and then at the end of it Spencer is like you guys have to stop at Dragon it was just kind of but it wasn’t like we were engrossed if you listened to the recording we were like we had finally stopped going like D&D like like we’re going to make sure she stays on in a like a cliffhanger and Spencer was like you guys knock it off to bed I thought that you were I thought you were just expecting me until like truncate the combat at the end of the session sort of thing and I might not meant as a dragon breath how many hits are we put on the dragon let’s see I think you hit it once sliced it in the neck he took an arrow or two you shot him in the between the eyes I think I made him look kind of see wasn’t with her current position and then you went and tried to climb up a statue to John
off that befell the climb check you use some of the Scorpion didn’t do much then you summon another scorpions and David hand-wringing Brown sweating demand check in with us about our hit points and get definitive for the people they never know I don’t know when to be concerned that you guys are about to die I don’t know what’s going on at lake lake lake and we don’t we don’t pay attention that comes with bunch of drunk like performers like we never got it I have three hit points yeah it’s true Chevy right now you’re at 24 hit point 6:30 is not bad you’re okay what’s the range every time you level up your maximum hit points go up
how much is Chris de Burgh have right now Chris de Burgh is sitting pretty at 43 I don’t think he’s gotten hit this whole time to be more rain right now you have 35 on this and I am 51 I took a beating last time didn’t actually right now at 38th so I can do pretty well that’s not mad no no
I true all right so it said that the dragon still pacing the cage and it’s still yeah yeah yeah it was the others that I have two scorpions in here and attacked the wagon wheel on your Eternal try to remember to put it at at Jeff’s turn toward recharged know it hasn’t in fact and so can I can I do a flaming sword attack yeah flaming sword attack with your flaming sword you charge the dragon and slice towards his flesh striking a quite decent blow at his chest there we go
dealing
11
guilty yourself
I’d say I want to go to 3 Charisma plan. He said he’s taking it is taking a beating who’s that who’s next on this way and then we’ll all go will be easier not supposed to climb up three have a so I have an advantage from above there are those statues are good 15-20 ft tall you would be above him move silently up the statues yeah you can definitely try but it’s pretty chicken to climb and the stealthy so you know your if your attention is split will be a bit tougher than if you just tried to claim her up at okay well I I wink at Sharpie and I tried to climb up the statues
does that to turn retire the guy fell off the table yet for the podcast listeners climb up the statue is there open some facts
throwing the Rope over the shoulder of the statue you catch it and begin to try and get yourself up but the arm of the statue actually breaks off and falls down but if it’s a roll of it too by the way you know the John Williams scored a blue balls maybe you you’ve been your kind of lurking right now I still stealthy right next to the dragon yeah he hasn’t yet noticed you but you know he’s a bit sluggish yeah
I don’t that’ll happen he’s not fucking anything’s soon not for he has like great stamina right so I do I do I have another I have another poison that you have a poisoned dagger true can I stab him in the same deck and how many how many dicks do dragons have
this is a question I’ve been asking for years
movie sucks just the one dick just the one
wherever you can afford to be picky am I still close to the dick you’re not too you’re actually a good like fifteen feet off at this point you know you didn’t get him in a major artery or a blood vessel or something I don’t know what that would be true you wouldn’t guys I’m just going to play it safe
go with what you know Christopher Christopher everything I do have a stabbing in the dick is the dragon fighting version of lady in the room
I’m pretty think that a dragon deck hurt you in the past or larger when he was at a certain age
so I’m as a rogue you have the ability to sneak attack which means if they’re kind of unaware of you you can do extra damage so do you want you want to go for that probably right he won’t know that I’m there even know it’s weird
honestly I hope he isn’t
I hope he isn’t either striking him directly in the dick with a poisoned dagger you score a seemingly nice settle or nice car
the funk break right now but
Arabic rose petals falling from the sky
Andrew Staffing
so pretty good slice yeah pretty good slice you can tell the you know the poison poured in you know to the phallus so that’s that’s you know you got you got paralyzing poison you got that that red poison I think it was the dagger
not bad not bad at all but you also deal
that’s up Jesus Christ 10 damage almost all the damage amounts of Ben 10 and 11 is weird two sixes would you go to Vegas yeah let’s do it
seriously me and you
the city may never sleep but I go to bed at like
Spencer and Jeff Rodriguez is a movie on a loop wait to rent
go to Vegas when Pearl Jam is playing mix
and bring Michael Jordan
Book Fairs open from that movie where is the guy who goes off into the woods on his own and basically what’s it called Richard while doing so is literally an event a shower anyway
genuinely is any way we can have two Scorpions on on on on on on on the scorptec you know I think you can summon you know however many but yeah I mean yeah you can only like do one order though so you you have the standing orders to attack but like if you had like four monsters you could have been like you attack you don’t know if you want if I know you’re going to run a spells I think you got like two more stops level to summon damage can we can you call the next month Dennis and Hayes bird
I’m going to let I’m going to let Keith and David do their thing I’m going to spend this turn trying to do something a little more passing there’s like he’s like you would have ordered I want to know about Tasha’s hideous laughter again yeah so that’s that’s a spell that’s a charm spell that if they fail their will save you know they they they lose their action because they’re they’re doubled overnight at work on it large reptile General are pretty hard to charm but yeah I would if if you wrote that you know if you roll toilet
what’s he doing
you guys hang out with this guy like all the time
you say is you’re staring at a dragon stick
what a weirdo anyway I’m going to continue stabbing he does he does passes will save so he’s unaffected and then it will Keith David but it was worth a shot, the Scorpions attack David doesn’t manage to strike the high however this happen. However Keith deals on Wicked blow to the back left leg of the Dragon dealing
8 damage
is it right now the dragons have numb dick right is it how big is the how big is my really need to know I’m really I’m really crunching cuz I’m living in a world I’m taking this if you are right now breaking me down yeah you know I’m small can I crawl up inside a dick hole. If not he won’t know if you know why fight
if it’s too small for me to climb inside it’s like I mean maybe the size of an elephant like he can’t climb up an elephant’s dick when it maybe it’s asshole hijack it have her shoot arrows into his dick hole
that I’m trying to kill a dragon to be exceedingly dangerous but I mean maybe maybe I’m going to run up using my fastest making the door let me run this by you your favorite arrows handy and I’m going to run it real quick grab his number dick open it up and raiment towards you and I want you to shoot as many as many arrows as you can into his dick hole I might still be careful don’t hit me
hit the deck if only we can talk about this means after I’m trying to kill a dragon taking advantage of a breach in the armor right now we’ve done all I’ve done
you’ve been kind of time with daddy trying to stand on the shoulders of your hard work dude we’re on the same team
examine this little bit more after we’re going to touch you with gnome Barbarian dragon’s mouth dick in the open it up on the aiming at her like a fire hose
why would a rose why would a rose open it up. He opens it up I bet it’s not as big as I mean that’s like a post office box I don’t know what a weird my dick looks weird mailbox when you hit a mailbox yeah she pay me what’s up dude I’m right next to the deck still what are you doing
Chris Scott
holding a dragon’s dick open okay
so before that quite happens the dragon attacks
we told me his dick was numb the bird
I was just I was trying I didn’t want to get into a conversation I wanted to use my fast with bacon could attack us here he wouldn’t leave the house probably me the attacks Keys you know and are okay with that back and striking with his front cuaji pins down the Scorpion before biting its head with his fearsome be ripping it from its shoulders do they do scorpions under shoulders at the same time is terrible by the way
with both of his wings he fought he he flails the wildly and his left-wing catches Chris de Burgh right in the chin knocking you off your feet onto your back and feeling for him
now this is the perfect time Chris de Burgh has not cleared out of the way he’s distracted with a was with scorpion shoulders for now I’ve run up open up his phone call and cry out tomorrow cry out to Maureen to shoot some arrows into this dragons dick for pizza and then does something like a Pack Attack how about you know rearing back like a cobra he lunges forward striking you directly in the chest with his beak
did pigs harmlessly off your armor and you managed to position yourself right under his you know Dickel regions
I think the decorations are just called Jack positioning yourself strategically around the dick you force your hands into the opening
do you read throw you call out to your compatriot mulrain who is somewhat conflicted by this whole thing it seems
okay well it does just what I’m reading off your kids you got hurt for a thing in the world I can’t help it a picture a giant penis as an experience with penises then you guys have a retarded you’ll have penises with my retarded sister
all right Cliffhanger will come back and see how we break that out
am I going to stand there holding dragons dick over for the rest of the day the dragons urethra
now we’re talking retarded Lee now we’re playing D&D
did somebody use that word yeah she’s okay
we’re supposed to be facing that out I’m sorry I’m sorry I said retarded
I meant I meant retarded and I inefficient way but I meant to say was you because your parents committed a sin nothing is gayer than shooting an arrow into a dude’s penis
I’m very sorry I said retarded to go down a lot faster I didn’t know that I would spend 7 Minutes holding a dragon getting a little gay over here yeah
I sent to a shot to vero’s both of a mist
so if I look up with a dragon and I put them in an envelope and I mail them to the Special Olympics yeah a good way to not talk about it anymore you’re forgiven just let’s keep going it’s fine I cast a spell to protect myself from the awkwardness in this battle Tango
I absolve everyone bow all right so it’s my turn it on your feet so you know you have to get up before I walk over a open I hold it to call open at night
approaching I don’t think she’s on board so I have a I can short faux sap sap sap like a blackjack it’s like you know like a donkey sock like all I got a bag with coins do it like that was really full of a like and then like spiky know like it’s just really happy that you can like the back of the head with a Blackjack Blackjack know I don’t know what to do I don’t know what it means so I have a blackjack saps energy know it’s just also called as fast as I can on the deck
is there a yeah
Willie and the dick however he doesn’t seem to take notice as it is numb he can’t feel if so go unconscious and not know why
I do it enough but you do 7 damage overall. I’m not doing this because I want to drag you to know I’m attacking its dick over and over that is the last thing I want to drag you to know that is why I numbed it to dick
that was step one I don’t want to talk to this Dragon hey I have a bunch of things in my bag on one by one and I’m going to strike your dick with them you know that’s there so you could hit it with a bag filled with
hey that wasn’t the first thing I did I’m just looking in my bag I don’t know what else I have to pay a lot of money
have you ever Googled dungeon master
ready for my move oh yeah
ocean I have like a water with saw and stuff so yeah yeah like you could cut a limb off a branch so you could probably saw his dick off that take a while but yeah I think someone said that from the back with all my next turn planned out
here’s what I’m doing because I know what I’m doing and I’ve seen a lot of movies where you’re fighting an oversized Beast I’m casting the spell jump and I am sleeping on to the Dragon’s Back
it’s where it’s where my hero medal is
all that’s in the brain as yeah this is legal parts of the body that you feel Arcane energy swirling around your legs
you get the Sensation that you can jump powerfleet for a Time onto the back of the dragon cinematically on the back of the Dragon successfully
for a bit you feel unsteady but then you catch yourself and you have 30 footing
that’s way better than the laughing attack you did or boxing tonight
can I do more is that my Holter yeah that is your whole term
map to him and copy that so he could plunge my sword into the back of the the spinal column like a coup de gras. Been a bullfight but not before this sluggishly poison dragon unleashes a acid line on to your party it flows directly into quark’s path as well as Moorings path and you’ll have to twist yourselves out of the way to dodge that’s true I know you can Dodge
so yeah but you didn’t in this case
sometimes it is not your day off sometimes I was 2 hours 2 hours up a dick all the way from finishing to display
2 hours do girls one sometimes you know him and open up a dragon dick sometimes the dragon opens up to you
oh yeah we all grew up with that thing
still more rain takes 16 damage from the line of acid corrosive juices burned through our armor and I know why because
awkward and shield still up yeah yeah she’s underage like as long as she has a bad time just let there be negative consequences to their foolish acts like it’s all that is something you also take 16 by my counter at 26 I think maybe you got no you should have taken another eight damage right so should be 18 you were going to so you can take a healing potion and throw the store but that’s all you could do is a cool yeah yeah so healing potion in a single Gulp and hurling your sword directly at a Sharpie but the law
ship critical so yeah you catch it in like you throw it in like a super dramatic Manner and it’s all slow motions style and it cuts to people like looking at it you know right and it totally land perfectly in your hand and there’s almost like energy kind of like you know surrounding this whole epic situation as it is it lands directly in your hand perfectly. Hit points so he gains back 14 hit points you let fear well
first of all I’m sorry about saying retarded I was just joking I know all the time my face covered in blood
I’m not asking for that by the way too late to leave the right now it’s already happening it’ll be there right now. Sorry I didn’t mean it was doing a bit I I did it I did that to you I’m sorry I got my I got my shity retarded joke all over you I’m sorry like that was my bit that didn’t land and made your plane crash play Imagine you doing an apology with the arrows
and I shoot them at the dragon don’t I take tuvieras and I shoot them at the dragon’s head he’s right there so she won’t have time to reliant on my scale at the dragon’s belly
you said earlier that the dragons organs are different from regular Oregon they have like you know they got like no one has acid bladders you know to hold acid so he could spit it out you know you don’t have that they’re different it’s different anyway arrows hit both of them have you deal 13 damage at all together striking him directly in the neck with arrow shops he’s a bit woozy right now I just got to be on the road we went kicking this guy’s ass
Mary Christopher I also have a bear trap like in cartoon
wait because your character is also like
it seems so obvious now
you guys watch that yeah
she’s not going to feel it and I have a great singer
I hope can only write songs right song but it doesn’t trap goes off physics that’s that’s a good one grizzly grizzly that doesn’t feel like honey
hey boo boo
Cheese Louise bear trap works as intended it finishes the job that you’re poisoning you know daggers started is it it’s like am I helping it by severing the organ that is poisoned yes well at this point the poison would have already worked its way into the system but but I mean there’s not more dick poison going to go into I’m definitely not good news and bad news
does anybody want like a dragon.
I put in my sack
just in case yeah you know they got their magical magical Dick’s market for a dragon are really good at helping you write songs yeah yeah yeah you have to put it in your mouth
this won’t be the first one I
put in my mouth
yeah that’s amazing that is a legend right it’s Elijah
please God you got my storage unit that comes to you and everything goes quiet
and then press down with the
I don’t think he’s playing that dragon
planting the blade directly between the dragons have everything between the shoulder blades of the Dragon’s Back the blade sliced his cleanly through the spinal cord and the dragon goes limp
wow this really puts my dick strategy into question
sorry
yeah yeah I was just dragging you know it’s dead
I take one of my breadsticks and draw Dixon balls all over the dragons face that Dragon hide it I don’t give a fuck for dragon head
alright then you come on everybody Erin mcgathy
President Clinton
that’s not even a cliffhanger we just played a dragon
that’s how you do it well done sir
Chris de Burgh your tactics but we know all’s well that ends well
send your letters to Erin mcgathy and Erin mcgathy and I hate retarded people.com
which is a weird e-mail address for her to pay for it but it’s a weird place to send emails you didn’t expect to get out of offended that’s another problem the internet culture people seeking out offense since straight up
what do you want Harman
give me something sexy
when do they ever have somebody sat on it for 2 hours and now I have something you want to say goodnight to my talking to him they’re all sleepy wake up I go what’s your name Sara and Leonard what’s your problem and he’ll go I’m sleepy I live in I live in Rancho salad did did anybody hear particular feel like I learn something or or take something away from tonight is anybody said they’ve grown as a pretty big a big big big big problem that you came in here with that you really need salt see that takes a lot of guts for SR22 for them. Like there is they’re stonewalling us they’re like no the show’s over get out of here that’s good we had a we had a perfect perfect little little show we just need to
I killed the dragon with you
we bought a monster too
we’re going to do
we watched Thor movies
stupid I don’t like this
do the prophet that song that is the whole tour it’s like I don’t like the structure of the because it’s
you wait for the beat and then another thing and then it picks up I don’t know how to articulate the corner that they sang it
I’m trying to tell you that I can’t do that song don’t tell me you can’t spank same but you can’t do that song
it doesn’t have a opening for a second I’m in town and it doesn’t you don’t there’s no it doesn’t it doesn’t there’s nothing to do with the song everything and yet and yet you out wrong and you’re still creating a song of limitations of the genre liberated the creator of mine
purposely gave me the drive-thru carryout
I made her cry.
They brought her in and said to her
fart fart fart Corner breakdown Northwest SoundCloud out on the floor but your mama in the attic and the basement question mama said this is a case that’s closed
what’s the timer like sisters and broke down the street with my hand and my feet but your mama and I don’t know how I tried to figure it out fuck your mama but I don’t have the cops went to City Hall asked the mayor can I fuck your mom he said she’s over there again, eight nine ten bucks your mama up in the air but your mama I don’t care but your mama cut my hair. Your mama Dragon’s Lair, to harmontown everybody we did it again
former timer Spencer Crittenden please Erin mcgathy Kumail nanjiani everybody here at meltdown, crying and horror movie
text Shannon we’re coming up earlier on Jeff Davis your comptroller what my timer