Episode
Episode: 142 – Kiss On Your Balls
Description
It’s Easter. Jeff does not understand Chain Zingers. Like, really doesn’t get it. Curtis Armstrong returns for Shadowrun and there is a lot of testicle play. Watch the video at Harmontown.com!
Transcript
a song called drug love
spell drug Luv by a band called Hans predator
I’m out. Comics to Hollywood California Hermantown is now in session
Happy Easter
the book of Isaiah says the mayor of Herman Herman
happy Easter
what are you what’s the sing for Thanksgiving is super it’s about what you’re thankful for you tell me where you think for an Easter is it like what you’re relieved about
in the keeping with the Christian tradition is like
spring ceremony about these things are Back In Bloom that that Jesus is he’s ready to pollinate
what is the weather sweaters Christ pollen
it’s a pretty pretty I think it’s a pretty uplifting sayings and I know the people here at Lovett Donnie Darko I don’t like Donnie Darko and you reminding me of the terrible nightmare rabbit and darn well I have ears on like that costume so you’re saying the rest of my face and body are like a blood-soaked dirt coated creepy rabbit costume precisely
so when I’m not wearing the ears you just think I’m like a creepy gross furry you’re lazy. I don’t think you’re at your hatred of the movie is is valid if you don’t know that
but check this out look what
you showing me a slightly off-center Cottontail on your ass is not going to stop me from having more nightmares
but of course you know our audience is filled with jaded hipsters so they already know that Easter is of course by the way what is your definition of hipster projecting a bunch of your insecurities I said
Riverton Hawks and the hippies and in the Millennium so there’s like everyone just calls everybody a hipster that they don’t lie cuz I’m sure there’s like architects in the midwest do that like you could go like that guy’s a fucking tractor I didn’t
look at it look at it and physically make eye contact find what you would think of as a hipster’s I came up here he would call them all hipsters I’ve been through this situation like Channel 101 kids were called hipsters at this Open Mic because they came to see me to stand up instead of this other guy in this other guy called them all hipsters I don’t like we’re nerds fucking hipster
I think we have one hundred percent nerds know hipsters like I don’t see you wearing like ironics like like weird scarves like for instance is a razor razor fine line between nerd girl and hipster I mean if you’re if you’re a nerd girl hot how do you distinguish you know like if you’re a guy and you see a nerdy girl I would say there’s a very definable line between the description or if that’s what it is to do a wall then then she was okay I got you she’s a nerd
you just just take our front row find a hipster and I admit they’re all nerds definitely waived everybody you’re the ultimate hipster Lena Dunham everybody thank you where’s this going what’s your endgame we never really went to the moon because we we gave up on that premise I fucking good long time ago but we did do is we went to the moon if no hipsters just nerds
you’re pretty drunk
he said nervously adjusting some bunny ears on Easter I said yeah sorry about that and my sister and Jeff said well I’ll come but I’m going to be pretty drunk as drunk as I would like to be I drink a lot of rozay wine at Dino’s as drunk as I wish I were I think that it got to go back to the eye of the beholder anyways Easter is of course based you know the absorption of the solstice V what is Easter mean for you like it’s coming out of winter and into the time when when the the winter saw and stuff for my family growing up as a Lutheran kid in the in Wisconsin and it was you know we would we would die the eggs and then we would hide the actual hard boiled eggs I found out that’s not that’s not as common as saying like a lot of people
the plastic eggs filled with candy makes more sense like what kid wants to find a hard boiled egg I did was hard boiled eggs there were no fake eggs filled with candy it was you found a hard boiled egg but why why did you want to find them
because it was Easter I also associate Easter with the Easter is unfortunately for my mom like I remember waking up with with my brother and walking into the living room and there was this piece of typewriter paper with Sharpie pen note written on it that said Easter has been postponed
I think because because somebody misbehave the previous day there was a big family fight or something so it so we woke up we were like what the fuck I have an Easter later like will do we why do we care if it ever arrives it isn’t the whole point of the issue that Jesus delayed it for 3 days before he looks like somebody ruining Christmas by giving birth
did Jesus for those trips this how much room bucket
why would you stay in the barn this room at the hotel
all right so so I all right
see what we got here I don’t think I don’t think a lot let me know in the booth as far as special guest shows up we have a guest don’t tell me who it is.
Go back to my thing is Easter so what are you relieved about why is it a relief because it
I don’t think it’s relieved I think it’s a crisis of the for the Romans and I don’t think we celebrate Easter Through The Eyes of the Romans we celebrate against the backdrop of the we help the guy get killed and then he is now where the fuck is he actually rose from the dead and that that’s not like his relief is not what’s happening then where the followers of Jesus I don’t see how they felt relief president
What will what is that what did they kill her friend now he’s gone now he’s alive or a surprise so so Easter on Easter you should ask yourself what are you pleasantly surprised by
I’m presently surprised by you wearing bunny or is it
also I’m presently surprised by the fact that this is a holiday that absolutely means nothing including people that believe in the New Testament the Old Testament at any test it’s really interesting
it’s it’s it’s simply a spring ritual we can we can we can rule by force with a lot of ways but we can’t keep these people on these equinoxes you know these solstices we can’t we can’t keep them from knowing that the eggs are important pizza and so we got to just know who Jesus is. I think about a three or four hundred years before Caesar like I ruined the Republic that the Gauls front unit was just basically friends a bunch of Barbarians they call them came in and took over and kicked a bunch of ass in Italy and went right to the gates of Rome
the geese flew off and the sky and the Romans were shipped the geese for hundreds of years after that because the Geezer honk honk honk honk honk and warned that the fucking Gauls were at the gate and they hate they hated dogs bigger the dogs didn’t bark
front for a couple hundred years for a couple hundred years then there was a ritual there’s a ritual in the room while Caesar was in Caesar and Cato and Cicero and if I can people in that were there they would be
Cheo
there was a ritual held where dogs were murdered in the streets of Rome and he’s got to sit on gold and pillows and watch it happen
that’s the backdrop of our Easter fucking happens because it wasn’t that it was only about fucking fifty years later that Jesus was killed in our arms around them was dead and that crazy that that that it wasn’t too long ago and animals were like competitors to us like we were still kind of like like like like I’m the same pop chart with them but there was still a threat that maybe we’d be living in Barre Town one day a little higher it’s fucking Bears are getting the gothic look in their eyes yellow in the Athens was just like a this is just a rocky crevice or just like people crawled up into some holes to get away from all the animals you know then they built the Acropolis time I like the whole Foundation of Western Civilization is based on us being scared of animals and wonder why they’re so so much smarter than us
the dogs get their first it’s really uplifting story that we ended up like you know at some stuff it’s it’s sad that we at one point we’re so like you know ticked off at them in like like kind of still insecure that we had to like slaughter them and stuff. All right so anyways, do a new segment called my wife bullies me
yes we can
when you get married it’s time to get picked on by your wife for the rest of your life she can make fun of you for you to just get up and leave
so your shit is there and you promise to front of God energize that you today
Eastern air Aaron was Aaron was was coordinating things with HobbyTown our our our our our mascot happy town I think you could see you guys met out front she came down to visit me and I was having a nice Easter with a Easter basket she made for me with me with all kinds of Reese’s products in the in it and and I was I was I had put on a selection of music and she really roundabout way like we call him change singers
yeah like a chain Zinger is like if you like if somebody is like like taking your French fries off of your plate while you’re eating and then you go like instead of just saying hey you taking on my fries you go like so where are you going to deposit it and then the other person is a deposit what you got all your money extra money now and they go what what do you mean cuz you’re you’re getting so rich now aren’t you like because you’re saving so much money on blood pressure medication
know what are you talkin about what don’t you have like really low blood pressure I don’t think so well then how come your sodium intake just seems to be so so so hi what are you talking about you eat my fucking fries that’s a that’s a change
come down and did it changing I’m not going to try to recreate it hurt the person singing you is doing a step back like eight times and then they and then they’ve they insult you
okay so she did one of those and I’m not going to bother to recreate her changing her but it’s just because of the because of the music I was listening to a she Shear she called me a gay drug dealer
where is Apache open up the change thing or something is that the payoff of the chance I know that’s not how she opened up the chainsaw distracted you with that but I didn’t want to like I didn’t want to undersell her bullying of me it’s very sophisticated I just also didn’t want I don’t remember what her change her her change her a little sloppy I don’t want to try to recreate them their their their Lane half the time do you change how do you change thing I do know I don’t know they’re hard to do you’re asking us to buy a premise that I don’t quite understand asking you to buy a cup of coffee
tell my wife my wife
examples of chemical changes so you tell me what a fucking changing really is all right Jeff are they changing me what I’m doing right now okay are they removable the tattoos ones that you get in prison never been to prison but what happened after you hit that tree
I wish treat the one that you hit in your car I didn’t hit a tree aren’t you an alcoholic
I tried to back into it was
command if their hearts are hard
it was bad but I did was give me a fucking his charcoal changing her you know I don’t I don’t I don’t keep track of them but you all right all right all right
we’re not leaving this room until I fucken know to change cigarettes is it hard for you to do your eyes hurt do your eyes hurt currently yeah I know but but doesn’t all the flash photography hurt your eyes
when does classified photography when you do a red carpet is a possible one of those last two classes that movie called where a lawnmower man’s 311 because you aren’t you aren’t you Joe but don’t you have control over like like time and space you’re putting me on the spot
not accomplishing your goal broken chains you mean that somebody’s trying to hit you over the long over the long term they’re trying to get you to set you up if they force you through a series of Hoops you just make someone walk with you to the place where you slap them
why was why was Ian Lawnmower Man 3 because you because you are putting me on the spot
if we call the second episode changing around so I can kill everybody in the fridge
we only got the call the Seminole chasing her if she doesn’t change her and the audience knows what the hell he’s talking about
you guys know what I’m talking about
company come out and change things and prove to me what he’s talking about precisely nobody fucking not being properly changing its date did let’s do it and do you have a change occurs that we said let’s do it
you get well let’s get let him do it first you could come up and come up and change thing
what’s your name hello Ben
all right are you going to improv a changing or you going to do you have a current existing beef but you’re going to Zing than on a chain of fashion
Half & Half okay hey Ben cat can I ask you can you find do you find it difficult to move aren’t you aren’t you aren’t you part robot
no. Don’t you have a speaker for a mouse cuz you’re not talking to microphone okay
all right sorry I see that but I don’t see that as a singer all right
hey hey Dan it’s been
did all those doves die what what are you talking about then
did all those double die when you and Erin through all that Rice what race did we throw I don’t get it what do you mean your guy’s most recent wedding we got married White
I mean when when you and Erin got married to doing change the years
cuz we give me what give you one version where it works out I want to know because they’re not they’re hard was it why bring it up Tony Hawk came on says you can skateboard what’s a changeling I would never be good at something where at where at where at
Jeff Jeff Jeff can I ask you a question only on one condition their your sister this is a fucking changing
multiple questions you can have these many questions as you want does it get lonely
like like does it get lonely being so old
how about you aren’t you like I do like his old Universe almost a year younger than you are
well aren’t you you’re not hydrogen
no I’m not I’m not the I’m not hydrogen
I’m a mixture of different other atoms but so mostly water right yeah I believe a certain high percentage of the human body is as water that would explain your slight negative charge
water water is negatively charged by change singing I didn’t know I got it
imma sit down thank you been trying to get the fuck out of here
anyways my wife told me I had the musical Taste of a gay drug dealer was the point of the chain into it. Believe me I do. Why why walk me down the Primrose path I just did what I felt like an errand would yell at me later if I characterize there is just coming down and saying you sound like a drug dealer listen to this music because like the truth is she was more creative about it so I wanted to acknowledge that out of fairness but you get very distracted like a Jack Russell Terrier staring at a
why does a witticism have to make me go through a bunch of fucking weird Hoops have to do anything
I’m Hitler ring
reverse Hillary is it is a change singer
what would LCD sound system
all right now I’m on her side
probably introduced me to I was listening to a Pandora station based on LCD Soundsystem so there was like one of those guys is a drug dealers car and Willie Nelson’s on the radio as great as a gay drug dealer close to right like if you’d want to dress like a drug dealer to I assume if you want to be like oh, all right
I mean they’re gay and they deal drugs but on the bleeding edge of society the bleeding edge bloody bloody Edge
you you okay Hey listen can I ask you a question
Danny has many questions in a row you want you like where you’d really hurt
are your feelings hurt just just recently specifically when Bruce Wayne hurt them
what are you talking about what when he came to your your research facility at Wayne Industries and he rejected your inventions
can I can I be honest with you
maybe in the history of my whole life
I don’t think there’s ever been a time when I have been more hurt
when while I was making
Wayne Industries inventions and he wasn’t fucking Diggin it so I was almost suicidally hurt when it came in and said boo I don’t think it I don’t like it and that’s when you became the Riddler
oh shit you’re right
I never put those two together I knew that I knew that one day I started becoming a super villain and ask questions instead of giving answers that you that’s why you’re always questioning me right through into my chains are gone
then here’s a riddle for you buy a riddle me this is it hard to ruin a chance to Jumping Jacks during it you can ruin a Tit for Tat you interrupted you you’re going and I’m not allowed to really love your I love that you’re a lot of ruin them do you love changing I mean you’re allowed to do whatever you want you love Chainsmokers I love change my friends have been changed things where you have it doesn’t exist is not a thing
do I know you’re going to want this guy to come out he’s an old friend we haven’t seen him for a couple weeks
Curtis
hello Curtis
my God it’s so festive hear Happy Easter thank you so much I wasn’t even going to celebrate and now I feel like I have to so were you or you raise religiously I was raised religious I was raised Catholic couldn’t remember to shoot she was the daughter of a pastor was she still has she mentioned the sunrise Mass thing but that also all the Easter hiding and stuff like that but she couldn’t remember what order they did them in well I mean you know I mean if you’re sick I mean we did it we did everything cuz we were just you know we were catholic and we did the whole services and all that but the Easter eggs were just as big a part of it but there are a lot of people that I know who were raised where that’s like devil’s work is doing the Easter egg hunt because it has nothing to do well that’s kind of
from the Christian Perspective what if you’re going to go for the religious part of it you might as well go the whole way and say that it’s that Easter eggs are are still technically of course they were all it all comes from the pagans anyways because they really need their Christmas tradition but their Christmas traditions make a difference at that time I missed the changing her part came in at the very end of the chains that car parts it’s not everything I need to know nothing at all okay all right yeah I mean you know it’s weird
you so mad about changing I said Mr Kettle to 222 Admiral pot you’re mad about change singers I am Overjoyed with them
just just Justin is cups and Chevy Chase used to say about himself on his voicemail things I’m just warning Curtis that you’re like a loaded gun it’s a little different he looks a little different this week he does
she has a glow or a Sheen depending on depending on whether you want to go disappear as our friends the French would say I don’t know that work a little ruffled little bit you know just got out of bed look
I put this together this this represents a lot of work I’m sorry I thought it was I thought it was an accident or Japan right now
is there high Georgia Pines are high
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, never misses that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes relate to my own life so it’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker it myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerves like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema what Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
Dan can I see a podcast about breathing like everyone knows how to do that you do a podcast about macrame that’s hard
I’m not late I’m not leaving this building until you’ve done it for successful changing her I would have to sit here in silence like thinking I guess it’s not you know it’s not it’s not a cool thing to do at the end the payoff wouldn’t do that great like you just to change the user you got to let you just forget about him and I want you to forget about them
think there’s no there’s no joy to come from from you knowing about them I want you to turn away deal I mean technically he could think about it and like in 2 weeks it could come up and then it’s like a call back to The Chainsmokers let me see what’s on my little my little notepad what do you have scheduled a drug dealer last night’s with Morgan Freeman in Game of Thrones fanfiction had a movie Morgan Freeman and Clive Owen running around sword
called last night switch sounds like it’s like a date movie or something where did you go I went to I went to Las Vegas and I went to Seattle Washington
were you there
you followed me back didn’t you yeah we went to I went to a Comic Con in Seattle and I went to a supernatural thing in Las Vegas what was the supernatural thing they do these Supernatural that you know Supernatural is a show I do it’s one of the other shows I do I don’t know I will I want to do when I’m not here I do another show called Supernatural I’ve heard of that show I didn’t know you were on it I’ve been on it for about three years are you a are you a werewolf or a vampire I’m not I am the evilest creature ever evil evil evil creature
yes she knows what what what’s Place Metatron he’s a Biblical character actually I’m playing a good-looking it’s actually appropriate it’s Easter and I play a Biblical character named Metatron who is or was the Scribe of God Metatron for those of you who don’t know Metatron was the one who wrote out the Ten Commandments from the bush and his voice was the voice from the burning bush that was Metatron not God oh yes this is like this is like a Tron was the guy who did everything for God he did everything The Gospel according to what mythology this is according to well questionable methods
translate mentions kind of the Bible is metatron’s name mentioned in the Bible the Bible not in the I don’t think it is I think it’s actually mentioned in like ancient Hebrew texts that are sort of questionable but that’s who he is but everybody assumes or so God didn’t give a straight to Moses it went through Metatron I went through thank you
yes I do if the role you were born to play it is the role I was born to play it’s one of the most important rules of my career I mean you know if you think about it in terms of you know there’s no like there’s booger and there’s Charles tomorrow and then there’s me and that’s that’s a big deal so that’s who he is and God would would print it he would transcribe what God wanted said to the Israelites and he would write it down or speak it that’s what I do what why is it why is that not canonical in the Bible I mean all the cool stuff is sort of questionable it’s the it’s the what do you call a pot the Apocrypha that’s what it’s called the Apocrypha which is it’s supposedly part of it but it was sort of Taken Out by people because it was considered a little of our funny apocryphal
is that right yeah thank you see they all know yeah but that was not who Metatron was my Metatron the Metatron I play is described as a guy who’s also known as prime rib
that was in my bio the bio I wrote for metatronic that’s a call back I forgot to bring this up last week but I don’t know what to do about it yet but I did remind myself to bring it up for prisoners all right so these
I just got it I saw these guys tweeting about it and there was a it was out of Seattle actually that the organization is out of Seattle it’s so did you say hi to him. I can’t remember their Twitter handle or whatever but I got it I got to figure out how to coordinate something with them cuz they’re they tweeted at me cuz what they do is they try to get books to two prisoners which is already like you know a very worthwhile goal I mean it’s fucked up is our prison system isn’t as you know the largest prison population in the in the world and we definitely do not rehabilitate them very much we could definitely do to do that and had the idea that there’s a shortage of books that these people are inside prison people are asking for books while they’re in there they should be flooded with them they should die because they books cost nothing because the internet and also be good everything these guys like if they’re sitting there going like hey sorry I murdered that person I would like to start reading while I’m in here
they shouldn’t like be like empty-handed I don’t know how much we can do about that it does seem like a really focus worthwhile cause and general maybe I’ll put some elbow grease into it and try to help but but I wanted to mention it to our viewers and listeners because because they specifically about D&D books because of their their prisoners that are that that seek them out are asking for D&D books at 8 and they can’t get ahold of those I mean and it’s like oh my God, are they asking for books they’re asking for books that would open them up to creativity to to the assembly of Thrones ethology to making shit right in a way that doesn’t involve you know stabbing real people and stuff state and federal prisons that they are looking for books and I don’t know all the details about I just know this charity is in Seattle and I know that there are
that they just have this massive shortage of all D&D books which it seems like this it seems like like like it is if we we found out there’s a charity out there people that don’t have enough McDonald’s wrappers like I’m not saying we’re fat I just mean like it’s just like for us it’s kind of like we got a lot of old D&D bucks I think so I don’t know if we can have like a drive or something like that at some point and unlike them like crazy but not trying to be silly we pick one prison where we send all of those books to the whole prison just starts playing. It’s like adopt a prison movie
you might be like the signs of we have to go out in the dungeon master of that prison would be D&D or podcast adopt one prisoner just starts walking around like I just have like our favorite prisoners come on the thing like their whole prison system is it becomes corrupted because it’s based on podcast listenership and stuff you don’t know you don’t know this very early on a long time ago Dan and I think of this before we start recording this we said the Dan said let’s get together let’s let’s use harmontown to find a dungeon master every week we’ll use it like
like what was like
the fucking so drunk the shows that to find the best dungeon master the first week we found our friend Spencer W I know we never look any further beyond that why don’t we find a prison and and give them all of our D&D books and then turn one prisoner is there a giant D&D campaign
it’s possible I think I think we’ll start with could we get like could we get one prison to be really into storytelling and into fantasy and and maybe save the world and bring them on the show Herman’s Hermits on from that prison by Johnny Cash we could have like a guest from an inmate from the prison who is like a year from parole and they’re like they’re they’re eligible for early parole and we kind of like we give him a thumbs up thumbs down skip Spence tastic what they did to go in
and then we just let him go so I guess what you’re not going home with them there would like to come with me and and maybe that possibly positively would affect their parole hearing like if the guy was so good at committing to his Elf character
yeah I mean I imagine if you yeah I’m sure of your average parole board overheard a game of Dungeons and Dragons would be very impressed in what you have in the public immediately
Spencer Crittenden of the riddle
sorry everybody that took me awhile I’m it’s a high-five opportunity there it’s easy cuz you’re going that way and I’m I’m over here yeah Spencer finds our built-in oh okay yeah good to know it’s just cuz you had a pain in your hands are those flowers blocking anyone from seeing your beautiful face fine
I think we should strike those theater
all right in front of Dan
what’s up you guys could you picture yourself going to like San Quentin or Folsom Prison by Johnny Cash doing a giant back there I was just imagining you know walking into like just the big prison and then there’s like a prison Spencer who’s like you know he has his lair whatever he has it all figured out and he’s like he’d be the dungeon master of the prison and it ended you know we meet up and we’d have a whole day event we learn we are really alike and you know maybe we’d even like trade places and he’d go to my house in my job and stuff and kill animals and you know
but you do know cuz he’s a prisoner
what would you all prisoners prisoners murdered him in his place in a in a federal prison Frolic for me is that imagine two prisoners at be number to pee Seattle b2p Seattle is their Twitter handle I’m going to continue to information they have these letters that they tend to get they sent me a picture of one of them I don’t think I can read that cuz of all the swastikas just kidding prison humor
whatever they had to do in there to survive that’s what you had to do and then we’re going to turn my back on you yeah I know I don’t know if that would probably be really offensive to people who put all this work and do like Furnishings people and then you just like kind of do this wise to get joke just like every prisoner or is he that we did that a couple years ago we went around the country and proves that harmontown audiences are they resemble each other like they are a lot like you guys here do you think that we could go do it show in a prison and then the people dig it I don’t know I don’t know I kind of like I’m trying to use Lyft instead of uber now just because I feel like like the I just haven’t met a woman in Los Angeles that doesn’t have a story about that starts with I called an Uber like what they’re riding by themselves just it’s just I hand and I feel like like he’s not that bad for me but it just feels like now I feel dirty like taking
taking over so I took a took a lift and it made me feel better because
I don’t know the guy was like definitely probably would have treated my wife with respect if he picked her up but then again he had his own podcast and was just talking about that and I was like take me back to the Uber Lyft I told him I talked to mr. lift I told him you need to put a switch or if you flip the switch the driver doesn’t fucking talk to you it would be so easy getting in the back seat maybe that’s a new thing they didn’t used to have that they just always used in the front and then you talk and then so many people were like I don’t want to do this they invented this back seat to program a switch it’d be so easy everyone would be done that’s her that’s a good idea I’m not and I’m not feeling in the mood for conversation is if you like that you’re deliberately not hitting that switch and then right now I got to talk to this
then it’s like those those those Barbara conversations where I like 10 minutes into the haircut
so how is your day and I think they hate you I just took a lift just last week and it was the same guy he I swear to God with a podcast all the way to the airport he interviewed me and I mean it was it was one of those was not what he told me to give this to you and I’m not kidding I probably know this was exactly the same thing I think it’s it’s you know it and you know the questions went you know from you no subject to subject and if you were antwoord’s I responded
the more he would ask questions so it was not like he was getting the fact that I didn’t want to talk it was like a q to ask more questions until like they hire the drivers based on conversational skills and they do expect them to talk to you consistently the whole right it’s it’s part of what like they’re you know their business that’s not true really isn’t one of their selling points is they have these conversations with drivers yeah that’s that’s part of higher than marketing I thought I was just I was just lucky that drives will they do a lot more work than Uber does to bet their employees will tell you that I mean sit and talk and not make people feel weird I think so at the reason I brought that up is because Jeff asked you would think we could do a show for a prison and I was like I think I think yesterday
right over here I was like I don’t like most people
even the ones that like me even the ones that have podcast even when I just don’t like you I don’t like you you’re laughing too much at the Hustler billboard I judge you I don’t like that I hate you I don’t think I was like he saw a hustler billboard and it has like a joke on him is like a cucumber and it said stop stop violence against vegetable shop at Hustler and the guy I’m not exaggerating this is this is this is this was the guy that response is like driving and I was like
stop by Alyssa get he read it to me right in my lap gland
Hyundai get it because it is you stick something else in your pussy again
don’t dump her to come in your pussy got it got it
I just got that
yeah me too you have been change things
I hadn’t gotten that we should bring up my wife
Erin mcgathy
so it’s Happy Town
Happy Town
it was me the whole time
how do you get nervous to get nervous when you walk across the grass was walking across grass
just walking across the field
let me ask you something else do you have any new news from your cardiologist
I’ve never seen a cardiologist
I mean you said because I heard it’s really small like my dick
know your heart
its 9:11 its 9:11
that’s the response we want to cultivate
that’s something like earlier. Dad was listening to to the band sleigh bells remix and I do not hate me. I hate all jovial from crying
what’s your fucking scan is not on the first fucking try does need to get Shane and Heather and leave me the fuck out
I feel like if I feel like a drug dealers would be most dangerous way of life and they’re applying that to a very dangerous profession where you know image is very important and it’s thinking or saying the wrong thing could mean death or environmental risk groups to for sociopathology I’m a kid from the Midwest who came out and his parents didn’t accept him if that’s why I started drug deal out whatever makes you a drug dealer whatever you do a late like I could be the nicest kid in the world but it also like if you got stabbed by a gay drug dealer on the 8th stabbed you be like love I guess
I don’t know if he was more likely to stab me the straight drug dealer or regular game and but
but I know I shouldn’t have gotten in this car
with Campbell Uber driver once who told me that he was there
and that he felt he can’t walk up stairs without falling down the stairs with theirs I can’t I got to go to a doctor and he can do I like music music I love music. You’re about to be changing motherfukers watch out because just seen somebody just say it don’t go down the road
of my music just the noise of your of your body when you enter a room
is it going to be a snowbank just going to be a fucking pay off sometime you fucking show me how this is Showmanship what you bout to do to Jeff I’m talking to her
I just read what you just did a singer and then actually works done one fucking pass the rapper by my rapper
meet your must be made out of candy
singer and just took long to say something nice
doing it all day what’s Jeff’s problem with chains and it’s fucking stupid it’s fucking worthless and stupid is really dumb why though
because it was dragging out a bad singer over a fucking 17 sentences is not as good as just saying something funny
singer and that’s why that’s funny it’s funny I still want to hear what Jeff doesn’t like them I feel because I have yet to be entertained by one okay and make it worth my fucking money is not going to happen it’s not going to happen the problem with changing hers is you going to start by working backwards and then you got to say something witty just say something with the whole thing is that you’re delaying the payoff right and then at the payoff is really not worth all the fucking stretch yeah it’s like an anti joke is pretty mean when you said he had the music Taste of a gay drug dealer that seems me and it doesn’t seem loving
even if it’s in love
the fucking changeling is
but you don’t fucking know it’s like I feel like I said you talked to take me to work take me to work where’s my long way
bucking like you call me Big funny about that damn years while you did that veteran
that’s not the only thing that’s here to figure out what what’s wrong or what’s right about anything that any of us are doing is very fun I was great thank you
pictures of the end of every sentence I ever asked yourself what am I change singers don’t fucking work for me at that end of the chain what happens in your criticism of cheeseburgers what’s the payoff only all only the end of changing that hasn’t happened yet and no amount of verbiage that goes into something versus the amount of entertainment that comes out of it how it how does a changing and compared to your criticism of it
they I think they completely cancel each other out no no my miserable because of your totally needless hatred of something stupid
and wait a minute can I say something you know what she gave me a trained singer which was really nice and it was a compliment and she said it with a smile and then she gave me a hug and she could have gone on for half an hour and I would have been fine with that.
King Of The Nerds is over right over for another season yes what’s his name one
God bless him Jonathan was our first male male winter but we talked about this but is this the first season for sure this is happened another reality shows but this one began with the girls immediately like making a macro Alliance exclusively across gender lines like excluding only like two girls yeah and it was really effective and they just all of the guys were eliminated with absolutely no idea that this was going on that’s right it was just it was like this biological phenomena but but a one guy they let they let into the other guy competing against each other
trying to throw each other off of a twig all these women watch
but is I just think that’s very interested it was the first season that I’d seen that happen with a girl that did this really affected things and almost threatened you kind of destroy the show that’s so simple that I love these women got together in the I mean they wound up letting a couple of guys in but before they let the guys in the idea was cross team Alliance to keep men out on the very first car built in like they’re in the they’re in the women’s bathroom together and they’re like they have that time together and no one is going to suspect anything is is off-kilter if all of them are gone for a half hour I’ll come out at the same time because we don’t know what goes on in there because we’re with the other quality other attributes
what mind you as effective as it was as a strategy to men wound up competing and one of them so there you are and it was the first one woman who was left out of the alliance was one of the final four so it really it it was a strange series of the things but I loved it I had a I had a great time it was a great season but I realize we really love Colby is that like a magical black reality show contestants in the streets and manual students were watches like every now and then he said it was
he credits the like Colby was like he had that mood shift I don’t know how much of this is anything but like he felt betrayed at one point like they put him up like at this all again of the sacrifice him and he never really recovered from that emotionally it looked like the rest of them because he really I mean you wanted to be there obviously and he’d done what do you call it Jeopardy he won Jeopardy like three times or something so the guy has obviously had experience but it’s unusual when they get into that into Nirvana it is really does weird things one of the most outrageous he came back and tried to kill him and failed so now he comes back and there’s always that weird thing in all reality shows I got you tried to tried to slit my throat and your knives didn’t work so let’s play Parcheesi
if they like I was really like I found a really culturally fascinating that he is sitting there a little dower not totally willing to play improv Star Wars with them know that he was like over it because there was kind of like a clicky group sex of a little bit they were like also they were drinking and he wasn’t started playing the nerd card in order to truck I meant it feels like to be picked on us so right now it’s just particular I do you shower to come on man it’s like the worst but I thought it was a really interesting for the show continues to Fascinate because they again they’re like real nerds they actually like like they
the reality show shit is all the same but it it reveals like more honest stuff than just like this Barbie doll broken this way in this one broken this way it’s like I like watching those dynamics that heavy fellow that had the nervous breakdown was a mentor is that the reason you should you should watch it at what is it worth on TBS on demand or you can watch it on iTunes I think we just glanced off but the the topic of Bobby Bobby Bobby Kennedy was in a big car accident in in in Colorado the last week of the last
episode so it’s kind of depressing he seems to be on the mend absolutely a miracle thank you let’s go to the car there’s nothing left of the car and where the Virgin are lifetime I think unless unless unless Actuarial tables are correct in our in my lifetime we will see self-driving cars we will see you like a kind of Google like like grid of like cars that take you like like I don’t know that they won’t have a steering wheel but but we’re going to see this happening on the big question that Spencer and I have we’ve been talking about it is once once that starts happening and it has this incredible impact on
I’m out of car accidents that happen are they going to start making cars out of paper are they going to like it’ll be interesting to watch like human society to the side like what about the 2017 safety standards that we keep we keep we keep jacking it up and playing this game like insurance claims versus fatalities versus statistics versus traffic and the likely if we were able to switch over to a system by which car has gotten relatively few car accidents would we immediately drop all that shit or it and then make cars really unsafe so that so that the handful of times when a computer crashed a car like it was this horrible Human Sacrifice on the altar of Skynet but everyone just look the other way I just like what I got to go to work so our paper to paper cars. Crumbled into each other and there was just skull against skull like lately I don’t know
if they’re going to do that or if they’ll keep making cars out of like you know these these cages with these are balloons and stuff in the sophisticated way cuz it’s very impressive so far you know what poor taste for me to talk about it right now all right so he’s doing well that’s that’s that’s fantastic
all right so look I mean I think we didn’t accomplish that much last week Brown
the first time in a while we have a full complement of our shadow run because here she’s not here tonight but she was here last time and I finally got what I’m supposed to do really just from watching her you’re supposed to like questions I know I never thought about asking questions until she she said can I do such and such and then I went oh my God I should have been asking that or I can buy donuts
she might say she was interesting but I had my mask on I’m not sure who the top and pass the rest down
it’s always
been that way are you at how are you feeling Julia what are you on right now
nope
all right I Spencer do we have a guest author of The recap but I can’t remember who it is with someone on Reddit
don’t get you back read a guy Jim Spencer I take it away from Anonymous recap author sorry red rack
last time on Harmon time Shadowrun
Mercy O’Donnell went into the burger Tyrant all right that’s it
that’s how much ground right now babe
laugh laugh
but yeah like I enjoyed her pine tree air freshener on the hanging from the rearview mirror of the stage so we’re meeting our chores Mercy you guys are outside actually just kind of waiting waiting for her
where am I
a hot dog weight
can I veto this
let’s get drunk after a girl or a high
I’m sorry what am I doing and where are you standing in a burger tyrant in the business Goldsmith and sexing
higher higher higher higher now I know you hear this every day but me and my girls it’s my girlfriend’s Bachelorette show up and we would never ask you to strap the girls have a crush on you could you just for a second he’s wearing a fine Italian suit and stuff and burgers in his face he’s he’s holding a burger and each hands hands are full of burgers
looks like he barely seems you know bothered by the words coming out of your mouth he’s like no can do honey sorry he’s like I’m going to use con I think you already were at negotiation okay sorry I give you a kiss on your balls
remind single now now we’re playing Shadowrun
really that’s all you had to do was your crime is not doing that Anonymous pause just come outside and I’ll just give me 20 minutes so I’ll be right out cuz just like me
give me 20 minutes
wire wire wire can I use perception to understand like why he doesn’t want to use you don’t see a reason why he doesn’t want his balls care if you can you can see you could probably catch spell that
might I enter a room the room okay you enter the room the the guy he drops his burgers and draws Two Pistols the fry cook seats drop pistol in the point of you guys are like get the fuck out of here boy sorry that’s rude
I’m sorry
Barnegat Barnegat is Swedish right
that raises the question is if I don’t know it’s absolutely it’s all fine it’s all fine
the problem of bullying a boy is that I am tiny and shows and I have certain possibilities and I might going to see I might need to be however I feel like it’s happening given the given the landscape that you have left out I believe shouting at the me that I can see you and give him that I can see you perhaps I can cast a spell all right what do you want to cast
a spell of stupidity in which you are open to suggestion I’m sending it to your good 10-15 feet off and there’s like four guns on the guy so I don’t know what I mean you could do something but it might might have cast a spell of susceptibility
it just makes you more hurt by thing
it makes the subject could I ask a question but yeah could I cast a spell and put him into a complete troll skin a troll skin it’s a doctor I think you have trolls use me
but according to this I’ve got I’ve got I can I can do maybe it is me yeah I think it’s you isn’t Under Armour Pro skin nevermind on and run in front of you spell I don’t think you could do it but I’ve heard of it but how
making up spells no this is one that
no it’s not I don’t think it is
are you guys using my mic I use to cast turn everyone into pillows I don’t think that’s a might I use the mind probe to find what is resistances to the face that no one can resist who the the guy with the burgers mr. Yeah yeah okay so fun fact casting a spell it takes some time and if you cast a spell people know you’re casting a spell and casting spells also causes like apocalypse he’s in people’s heads to explode so might be really really a threatening thing to do but put the mind probe but he said if you cast a spell at the equivalent of pulling a gun out like they might shoot you
Mercy or Donna last I’ll suck your dick or lick your balls and he loves Burgers I’ll kiss your boss can we just cool our heels with 20 minutes ago. That’s possible I might take 35 minutes or so you go outside and you leave your weapons outside and then you come back and you get all the burgers I need my friends require one okay alright even that amount she’s going to kiss a couple balls that’s going to be good right
who is Curtis’s character in the car with me
Zoe
haven’t been on a lot of Shadow runs with you
well you know
these always make me very nervous the shadow runs as a man of medicine becomes its destructive force that’s the problem is I figure sometimes I try to resist but sometimes I have powers and
it’s more than I can do to control them
you go and Shadow run to exercise your powers how I I go on Shadow runs in case anyone else is hurt that’s my job as a doctor but sometimes some when we get into these kinds of situations I do have powers that
I lose control over like that Agony spell
I was just thinking about that one I remember is I was thinking that if there’s a problem in there I may have to use the agony spell which goes against all of my rules of the doctor I’m kind of conflicted cuz you know I want this one to go clean but really loves you catching that Agony stuff I wanted to do the troll skin but I wasn’t allowed to do now I’m going to have to do the agony spell ready you’re going to do it now is a good thing about casting spells 15 minutes
wait a second, will you go kiss a doctor’s balls if I can have him lay low for a second way to just kiss everybody’s balls we can just get Anthony’s Quigley out of here early spring as if it’s a tempting offer but it usually works
why is it an empty offer
why do why why haven’t you kissed anybody before
I mean if anything it’s just to show that I’m subservient and I’m not I mean it’s just something that turns guys on its own reward
okay I will
thank you but only I walk up to the doctor I said dr. I want to kiss your balls and I’ll on Monday to for one reason because we’re going to find out the importance of kissing balls the ratio of ball kissing to pay off what you don’t have to jump in and can’t Agony spells and make any kind of kind of woman to woman to woman you’re going to blow my cover. I don’t think it’s actually that great it’s just something I say please don’t don’t just if you start kissing the deflation of you said you’d ever kiss balls before how do you know what the what the what the dogs don’t have to do a study about I’m almost coming to talk privately on the comlink was always over the hole
Mercedes
Mercy this is even a direct mail hello hey hey
can you keep a secret you going to promise me where she can keep a secret so I can hear me
check check
I’m here I can hear you can hear me all right
play I’m going to be before they went. I tried to find a mercy I’m not doing this for you I’m not doing it I’m doing this because I want to kiss a doctor’s balls I think that’s great and if you don’t have to talk to me about it but if you want to tell me what about it you can Falls kiss what do you get out of it if you do kiss my balls you can hear them
I just know you’d get the same I go offline you guys are all in the car. Car
we’re at we’re all just going to car right are we just in a car this is like prom night and Milwaukee cradle his balls out of his pants yes yes precisely
precisely
is it has nothing to do with what I’m doing this is simply about me what fish his balls out
what does Robinson Cano watch me work it’s what I could do. I think I start gently kissing the doctor if I place my order about 15 minutes ago I just wanted to say I would like to take this moment to say that I really appreciate all the work
the maps in the descriptions of different rooms and then we spent a half-hour kissing balls that he’s not like I got a week off
I’m certain that he’s like after it’s all good I gave up I thought I had an opinion but I guess I don’t so I’m just going with it I’m kissing your balls and it’s up to you. Your friend whether you I’m just trying to prove a point whether we could have gone in and kissed this guy’s balls and got him out of here you’re nice guys
truth be told I just want to kiss it
now I’m just sucking them both balls in my mouth at the same time and I’m just talkin I’m really not on this link but how is it that you’re talkin
set again as if you have a doctor’s scrotum
and there’s like a dolly shot of me walking down the street with the car in the background and I’m just like
Shadowrun
it sounds like there are cicadas in the trees
is too much Shadow on this one
how do I have a few years so I cast a butterfly and a cast to butterflies to tickle both of his balls from the site while I’m sucking his balls
magic butterflies butterflies find a playground with my fingers to the chain-link and I’m just watching children play and I’m just like
an-ina and the story on my face is like of a man who thought that he knew what Darkness was
I called your phone to poor sport butterflies also don’t don’t take Soph to the doctor because you might need him to revivify you for further action he said he’ll be he’ll be to have a fight you know it has
translate unconscious the butterflies are trying to kill some time
okay so 20 minutes as explained Rules by and yet no one actually no 20 minutes can’t go by because you’re still being held up by the fry cook said tomorrow’s you have guns pointed at you still that hasn’t been happening for 20 minutes said be ridiculous so what are you doing with these guns pointed at you should I do understand what’s going on I think you’re at a playground well yeah but I made today and tonight here
alright okay
what does where’s my play radio
take a balance man fucking total balance
Heart Of God there’s a anti-gun rule at the Burger timer he got to get out of there and give you without turning my back on the individuals with Guns For Hands race
I walk backwards I give him a smile
it’s very difficult for me so I’ll need the doctor later
yeah that happens you walked out a nice burger tonight and I’m saying to them gentlemen gentlemen and I promise I can because I’ve also ordered about it unless you have and you can order a burger with weapons they’re not letting you backing out to the place you back out successfully I am outside of the place you sure are
how are we TimeWise with the 20 minutes 20 minutes passes and no no one no one comes out you think maybe something’s gone awry user come out if you lick his balls are kissing
he’s not come out right I’m going to go check the back playground but I run back into the restaurant what’s going on in there she’s sitting he’s done eating and reading the newspaper
oh know where those those two girls that wanted me for your bachelor party please please come help you sound like my bag
when a fucking asshole or do I do I’m going to go ahead by the burger Tyrant from the playground ahead but going around is there a back entrance there is but it seems super locked with this guy won’t come out for two children in a car accident he’s a mobster but if I’ve learned anything from Grandfather The Godfather
The Godfather he was so Grand wasn’t he play wait yeah I mean it’s only gotten worse the burgers he’s eating or probably made of children
organized crime is all about code right you protect children you protect a little girl that they have dances in a particular story which is the organized crime much like capitalism itself like it’s slowly eroded by its own code which is profit above all out so what starts as the Black Hand in Sicily and it becomes La Cosa Nostra turns into just a bunch of business people
I don’t know that crazy can I can I use my grapple gun to Batman up to the roof of the burger Tyrant you laugh but this is my style this is what I do that’s why I laugh I make a cat I find Higher Ground I come down from the front from up above so let me know when I’m up there let me know what my options are up there there’s some small fist-sized pipes for ventilation
yeah not people size alright nothing nothing cinematically side
okay I already checked called I don’t know what is the word prohibited for me to go use my other an alternate identity as a security guard. You still look the same exactly so secondly is it possible that the doctors could give me another skin I think the troll skin is just something he has if I go on the, can I asked our whole team why is it so hard to get one guy out of a fucking burger place that’s not a helpful question out of a burger place in muscle up and go get this come get it
how do I use my organized organized crime scale to get him out can I use that also other qualities that says moderate that’s not a quality that is absolutely a quality it’s what made me I want to work for you
I want to do it when I get a turn I always the other question is your knowledge of organized crime to learn stuff I mean what do you want to learn about Laura the sky outside by organized crime valid nothing
a moderate egg allergy would it be possible for me to inflict the agony spell on you not the guys with the guns but on you the dungeon master not you not you not you but other guy were trying to get out I put the spell on him when he goes down screaming in agony I come rushing in saying I’m a doctor get out of the way
verifying talking that’s what I’m talking about so I I put the spell on him because he changed the audience of a nagging a spouse so I roll down the window of the of the truck actually do you mind if I can it hold on I mean I just want to get this on video right here recording oh yeah I know but not from this
umw Lance’s through the window and hit some rain has dumb suit he goes down and writhing around and what looks like agony
Promenade
call Mom
all right I guess I should just let things that make me happy go and I just remember that first week
I don’t remember that but anyway okay I came up with so okay so it’s done down on the floor in agony yes
even out of the way let him breathe are you Carrying Your Weapons no I’m not I’m carrying my bag so I kneel down I give him an injection
he passes out I need help
get him out
I’ll get him to the hospital
yeah yeah we’ll help you out will help you write out my tie in the meantime run the to the van and bring it to this this this this portal
the what oh yeah just like bring it up bring it right back
can I want your pickle lock on the back door okay
because I’m a completist with with with just a lockpick I go to the playground to find out what all the fuss is about over.
I got to the back and I and I start paying myself with cold Grease
I’m sorry that’s what I did I’m sorry that’s it but I did and I can’t wait to go to Arby’s after the show
the greatest site Barnes and RPG buddy. I guess I’m going to go to Arby’s and I love you so much
add Maybelline briefs rub Pizza
watch Empire and you can’t pick the lock because it’s it’s not a pickable lock it’s one of them maglock story of my life right let’s go all right the band of the truck comes around it’ll yeah well I guess it’s a car whatever but it comes around you and the the thug guys they dragged the unconscious friend out of or not friend Arturo out into the street where they just kind of leave and they don’t care so much they just kind of dropped them outside and go back back inside so we lift them up into the truck okay that happens I leave the door open the car is still running I have a cyst in this loading and I head back around front is into Arturo has passed out of his pants
there’s no need to make sure I got this is there fish out his balls like a bag there are people around though what the fuck
I’m walking back from the playground back to the car and I see this happening and I am starting to thumbs-up it
I wanted it to speed my own self-discovery at Mercy Mercy is FNAF sorry sometimes I have dreams of something I’ve seen before so I leave and I’m in the driver’s seat waiting to drive away
I listen man I got to tell you guys like a shadow runs because I’m a wanted man without a past no future this ball shit a whole different level for me
what you’re asking me to go deeper and darker a list of your limitations and will try to follow up on knowing right now that we have our terrific relate with almost done accomplish their mission just for fun or stun bolts on a knife blade dance of SMS pants and concert to fireflies
God puts the car in park
all right
current time traffic coming back from everybody
he’ll be back next week right your dad you have to come back now
you’re married Dan Harmon everybody
we didn’t get a whole lot done but we ask a lot of questions
happy Easter happy birthday Jesus
who’s birthday is coming out