Episode
Episode: 239 – LIVE from the Chicago Improv Festival 2017
Description
Harmontown joins the Chicago Improv Festival with guest Comptroller Brandon Johnson. Improv legends Jimmy Carrane and Scott Adsit help Dan demonstrate the difference between improv and written comedy, while Brandon and Dan discover the seven types of pee.
Transcript
is about to begin.
Spencer Crittenden
who is Bob. My name is Brandon.
Chicago
hairstyles
God bless this fucking wonderful industrial Midwestern
God bless the alcohol coursing through your arteries that for Generations that you can’t even control you Midwestern Visigoths
I’m afraid to go back to my hometown so this is the closest we’ll ever get
I don’t know how I’m still scared when I left they said you’ll be back
I don’t care how proud you are of your hometown you don’t say you’ll be back when someone says goodbye
they said I hope you save the world from the store on why are you looking at me when you say that that’s fucked up
Chicago
the man who drove in California but it looks more at home here than anyone I know yeah
the cargo shorts today weather was fine it was great for a nice stroll area of the country
there is an oppressive spiritual thing you don’t see God the way the way that you do in an equatorial climate used blue and yellow and you feel and what happens to you and you might be part of some agricultural Community where they play with frost in the winner loses their head is named Jesus but they’re usually pissing outside
it’s like I’ve said it a thousand times if you’re descended from the genes of people who are descended from Plymouth Rock either landed on them or they landed on it
cross the border the border crossing
is there a wagon broke down admit it and then they were like fuck it
but that’s not an on heroic thing to say I’m just saying the people the people on the west coast like those are just two people have gotten that far and then they’re like we have no more dreams to chase let’s invent television in the midwest is the gene pool that was like you know what what if you just what if it was just God tried to kill you
Where’s God was Unapologetic
what is what is what is every every single Shrine to poison you would have every time you stepped outside one of the weatherman had to tell you how many seconds it took for human skin to freeze but a fucking shizzle and a heated blanket at the ground so that means it’s going to start the car
and then the people that are coming in or going to pay what they weigh
what’s in Milwaukee
Google says that those bedrooms are not
we lost Brandon we lost Brandon
does bedrooms are not worth a million dollars each it’s fine Chicago I don’t care I saw that I saw the math I saw how red you were it so it’s okay
you’re booing you’re saying you’re saying
okay then you’re fine here too it doesn’t matter it doesn’t matter there’s a couple people in Chicago
what is he mean what are you talking about what do you mean they can’t like the he went and stomping around all these places in Chicago they shut it down he wouldn’t come outside so he wouldn’t come out here
all right. I just don’t want people to beat me up the reason why I’m part of the resistance now is that has nothing to do the reason I became politically active things now it’s because I’m lazy because I ate all of a sudden you didn’t know it’s going to matter I don’t really hard to get my house I don’t have to stand in front of it and it won’t work I won’t know what I’m like I’m just I’m just
it’s about me it’s about me but but you expect to show you want to show you came to a Chicago
Dan Dan I don’t I don’t think I want to show I can’t I can’t hear them do they want to show it I can’t hear it
okay okay
you guys think just because we came to Chicago We’re going to like improvised is that the idea
Maestro Jimmy train
and star of stage and screen
alright noted starting airing tonight part of a misguided April Fool’s prank on a loop when you go home you can watch it it’s so you’re not missing anything.
it’s a prank
I’m not exactly sure
I’ve been like anyone was going to hear that but I mean you could have said anything out
you sound like a Star Wars character
I think that was helpful
some people will take that invitation
12 amp until you get here all right so you guys are improvisational professionals
see people cheering cuz now nine dudes are.
You guys all have an improper background as well as be too fucking wrong no wrong
Brandon and provides a few times I can set some stuff we would have the same generation
900 people hair there’s 900 people here
they may only be here because they know that I’m amazing they some of them even though they’re from Chicago may not know what improv really is they may think it’s just the script was just on a molecular level will just show them for improvident on a fundamental level
so I will
let’s let’s let’s let’s tell a story in four lines of dialog I will enter with a line then we have two more lines to do you come in with the fourth line pressure no pressure to get as much information as we can cuz that’s part of improv it’s like being positive and providing information piping and things yes so four lines here is how improv works
I would like to return this fur coat because it’s too big but I’m a ghost I can’t run the cash register
I am the manager and I can help you sir
he said he was 15
all right hands really thank you
best of Potomac structure of improv silver doing yeah
comparative
I don’t know how good the next Coat Shop
for a second I thought that was a guy from upstairs and I was like
oucu
Park and Broad Seafood he got on a diaper
open WhatsApp to save the goddamn it all right to much does the first thing that came up was from last night on that laptop ghost ghost code cuz a lot of computer right now how to make a ghost cost to register a manager account manager I can help you if you could do that and I
how is it a playdate a young Nigerian trying to find his way to the point I sold him a smooch or was Steve Harvey improvisational a lake where did it break down I thought my line was awesome
like and then you introducing the fact that you’re a ghost brought us Across the Threshold that we can explore what then I drink I’m a manager I can help you and then you couldn’t help any way I could know ya Let’s Do A rewrite. How improv work mayor Herman but I’m not going to change what I did cuz I nailed it
now I feel a lot of pressure can I just say before we do that I’m feeling a lot of time in my head right now for that may have been the problem
I’d like to return this coat it doesn’t fit me very well remember
I’m a ghost to I’m the manager ghost
I think I’m catching on to think what he said would you think we’ll talk later
why is that lady wearing a fur coat on the beach
hello okay I mean I was interested cuz that changed everything I just thought I’d try the dialogue shows that we were actually on a beach with a door
the characters knew that the address didn’t like like all the Improv alcoholism together
you say play nice a boat continue with that scene like this hope he’s not revealed that we’re on a beach with a door and that we have two ghosts but I’m returning a coat it doesn’t fit
and you’re a lady
you you promised me when I rub that seashell
if I wore your coat you’d give me Lightning power
the lighting tower has always been in you
the code was just a catalyst to your realization
use your power now
I’m still the manager ghost and with your power you can kill me
wait a minute Andy when you get out of prison you can help me work on the boat
all right well if you held it for the same standards it wouldn’t hold a lot of people watch like Whose Line Is It Anyway You just write that stuff and then put it in private show in Chicago like a long form improv show is something that could never be what is the magic will I think it’s because each show was always different every night sometimes you’re going to fail and sometimes are going to succeed it’s really like a sporting event that’s what makes it so fun to watch what do you think Scott
especially in relation to Art but I’ll say that the difference I think is that when somebody’s written in people know it’s written then they have a higher expectations for being crafted and satisfying and improved survival is a win and if they if they land gracefully than the success in the highest compliment you can get an improv show is people will come and say are you sure that wasn’t scripted you know that’s like the highest compliment you can get you did so good at improv that it was just slightly less like good then something that was written but it was better than anything that could have been written with her that right
they’re just okay if using Spencer where is it so when you’re a dungeon master where does this come in and then people are looking at a sheet of paper for which is a descriptive but it is a bunch of fact I do this and then like talk talk say some stuff
it is like writing and Improv
I just can’t be easy it’s easy with these guys extraordinaire would be your dice because you don’t have any and we’re not my campaign so then could you dungeon master an improvised campaign for me and Scott and Brandon to be in a little campaign and then Jimmy is like the the dice could get Jimmy improvised results
so many Clues yeah I don’t can you improvise results does that sound
I just whatever whatever anyone wants yes
it’s kind of like if Jimmy was human dice like if you were if you just like anytime we wanted to do something Spencer would look at you and then you would represent a random result and then Spencer would read it and then explain to us what we had accomplished stage me and Dan were thinking of Master would be able to improvise perfectly the random results
do you mean like Jimmy would say 3 and 8 or do you mean like Jimmy would be like you hit and you’re going to critical hit let’s ask the person who said that what you I didn’t say hey Jimmy would be great at pretending to be nice but like I don’t I believe you when you say it but I don’t know you’re thinking why are you listening to me about it I think you were I was sitting down and I look taller
full everything you can do you control what you want me to control okay okay and and what’s in the room okay and then whenever anyone to do anything instead of rolling dice Jimmy who’s not part of the narrative Jimmy you’re like a non-diegetic element that is not a word
not dietetic do you produce results you started like a god or it wouldn’t it wouldn’t be fun from just a random numbers Jimmy you have to do more than that you have to give to represent a kind of like a dice
so you standing over there give me an example I’m here okay okay that’s what I want you to show me a wonderful feeling
surrounded by trees maybe it’s a forest even what do you do so tell him what you want to do I’d like to climb up one of the trees
that’s him a rolling are you rolling
like I’m a
okay
like I’m not going to just say I’m I’m just saying like like this could mean
average that he’s a quiescent so if he wants to climb a tree and I’m going
put him in the eye and he fell out of the tree because I’m being like a human. I would tumble around and reveal a face with a number of side like a number on it that’s a human. I wouldn’t have to say a human could use all their human faces and behaviors to indicate the vibe
if a person was just like that you know like if you’re just like
clearly a 210 extreme result
the number the dice it okay if you got to say how many sides are on the. I feel like if you say this like that or just say a number then because it’s like what are you trying to roll you trying to roll a very high because he’s he’s rolling in becoming a symbol for something rather than a number of quantifying something and he wants you to interpret it as the next action and how successful is based on the emotion you’re getting from his action
I told you I told you needed. Okay so Jimmy
but if I can’t be distracted by the fact that I’m just going to like see you later
punctuated I’m over here I’m not part of the fire look at you I just take a snapshot in this Frame of dance distance when I should like to get shopping tipping in a river like
but the river is I could beat you ass or like when do you do it and how big is the cup and what is it gets up to you it’s like that’s what Giants are supposed to think now that I would be the most on board
you are doing great I’m already doing it and I would like to be the problem fairy princess can I still be the manager for the ghost manager okay
Gwyneth or ghost manager you find yourself in Bristol bees to Marytown of bristles and
around you you see brizzles and winding their merry way through the City of Bristol bees I don’t know what it’s called anymore
at your feet you can see the tiny dwellings of the bees and a slightly larger dwellings of the brisel chopper where we stopped
okay we will talk we will walk very gently
any more bees in those ones that just earlier made noise
you find yourself too much teams like the town hall of Bristol bees
there is the Tiny Town Hall that you open the door
code
you killed about a thousand of our residents
sorry about that okay we’re just happy to see you
Monday looks like Friday Friday looks like Saturday you get it you smell the smell of sweet lemons it’s weird because lemon smell sour usually and at the same time you feel everything expanding and growing including yourself in the buildings around You Still Remains
it looks about the same because everything grows at roughly the same size but you’re clearly larger than you were
do you grow more you grow more is it to those weird occurrence
yeah
allowed
beautiful towns that would be great that’s the library
the city library
I’m not sure how I feel about it
you feel conflicted come
how cold is it
Zach Library
this Library contains books that will lead you into the arms of our mascot
Thor maybe I think he wants to be left alone
you guys are being literal and your
maybe you’d like to meet the soul of our town straight let’s just try and pack
okay I’m not saying I’m going to do better as a saying like I obviously I owe it to be able to demonstrate what I mean so you guys don’t worry about him here just people you just in your own narrative story about him that’s fucked up
I’ll worry about him
sorry let you down
then we were really feeling sorry for you yeah yeah man I’m
we were we were feeling bad for your Dano don’t feel sorry I didn’t say anything and inspiring any directions to please improv narrative please crazy body movements you showing your body and everything
except for the scene has broken down
my character decides that because you disappointing me I will go back in time well why don’t we see what that would look like cut to a great Chicago phrase right
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out while actually. But you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and blackston amount each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little t and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film earth like a verb you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
are adventuring Big Field your fighter and a wizard Jimmy crane you are Jimmy craziness great fighter in the great Fighters you have a plate armor and a sword wizard
you love magic but you don’t mind so I can mix
you got a bag of tricks
you guys are on a field to find a gold ring that you heard
pretty original
there’s some goblins coming
spell easy so easy coming but not he’s not the goblin you understand
this movement but it’s not it’s not that hard it’s don’t acknowledge the dice goblins are coming going out today Wisconsin the guy was there a shooting at you we’re going to try to make an arrow
if you ain’t in your arms in a magical healing spell on Jimmy cranes character and it’s it’s doing okay but not nearly as good as your dick do I have to but I would really appreciate it
more arrows are raining down
but they’re but they’re missing generally is because the Cowboys are far away they’re just taking potshots at you you guys are okay I’ve got a sort of forgot all the Goblins are on the Move they’re coming home and try to slay the goblin multiplying spell on your swords and throw as a hundred you’re multiplying spell fails on the floor laughing
now you don’t okay
that’s a good idea I’m going to if I don’t come back
I love you
no
that’s an incentive if I come back alright
play terrified of something there’s some healing powers to buff themselves to give themselves like higher armor as you get them started to Glow bright red indicating that it’s going to be harder to hit them
use a strategy I use that awful door all right just do for their penises
the Goblins attack you attack
return to attack and they’re doing real good they’re real excited they do and their arrows are piercing you for but I haven’t hit by an arrow I’m going to post it and try to get it to surrender your pleasure
the Goblins are considering your offer
I think it’s working they seem into it
the Goblins are down keep going I see the ring
I see the ring it’s a tattoo when I’m using the Goblins have an offer for you they say if you if you continue to pleasure them that though
one by one
Robin baby all right
all right all right
I’m willing to admit this isn’t working if you guys are
and you’re saying you couldn’t write that now okay now I get it when he said what do you mean did I want to ask you what you learned from that doesn’t work that you can’t just come out with stage and make up a show
but I want to give you something I’m in the mess you are you’re a midwesterner you’ve been very kind to me over the years and I wanted to get you a little gift and this is big in Chicago it’s frango mints
thanks thank you I didn’t know you know usually people bring you no pizzas or what else
bone-in pork sandwich Polish sausage but in Chicago Midwest rooms we like to bring something to the host of the party
show me Chester
king of the sea so what so what do we know about it so so as improvisers like we go okay so God is in the moment and everything that happened before and everything is about to happen that’s the Devil he’s going to fuck you up in the moment you guys are following me right just like the last exercise do in politics like this right vs left. I’m so we can recognize Republicans yesterday what’s about to happen in the moment or are they just a mirror image of Republicans improvisation Ali speaking
they’re not really making it up as they go cuz they’re politicians so I don’t we just need a revolution where everybody just like ripped off the clothes and runs of the street and goes like in before you answer that
as a society because I like the height of what we’ve been able to adopt democracy and MOB Rule and most people stupid and you’re liberal don’t you have to either choose between consorting with a bunch of morons who are like fine a point on it but you got your Bernie your Bernie people in your and your and your traditional Democrats and stuff so there’s like a real heavy division between folks because they’re like yeah we don’t want fucking more corruption and all the stuff to like yeah but if you don’t get excited sir
it’s so fun watching the bad guys being power and watching them kind of fumble over themselves but then you feel this Dark Cloud on the horizon where it’s like we’re supposed to the next move is were supposed to all agree on something and do something together and we can’t get our shit together we’re going to start like arguing with each other really soon like
is there a way to
what are we going to do why why shouldn’t I just kill myself
nobody’s stopping you
only you are stopping you Dan if you did kill yourself
I mean yeah at like a Comedy Festival I had gotten my gun
can I pick it up pick it up secure town okay give me a I just pulled out a gun just blow my brains out
I do feel I do feel like I’m a I’m like I’m a bad blow my brains out of sync
because I feel like pills like if you took like a bottle of Tylenol you’d be like I feel like you’d be like oh my kidney and killing myself and then I think you mean your liver I think you could we are people talking over each other every one knows kidneys don’t filter
okay really, here in Chicago’s people will jump in front of the elf take their life would you do something like that why not
shoe fucking like I don’t know just to go on quietly with a gun
I just I just I just don’t know
the thing about jumping in front of a train to athletic
about it is the people that do it do it during rush hour and that really ruined everyone’s day days if I was going to blow my brains out by the way I would also
I would like for my housekeeper I’d be like I’m so sorry like don’t go upstairs call 911 there’s a mess up there but
you can just undo the masking tape or just seal it all out put me in the blue bin and just be done with it, of course the absence of you in the fact that you feel such a failure that they would feel that maybe they failed you and they would I wish I could bring it right now I do so wrong
no I don’t think any of that would be it they wouldn’t care
you beat us to it then we’re so proud of him he was our little guy you should have done it sooner is that okay and I’m next but it’s going to be with I’m going to get diabetes or something as an option or later I’m the writer in the family and it be like they’d be like well he’s the writer good for him I got one more question who do you want to find you to be someone in this audience
yo Amo Puerto Rico but you don’t know you don’t know anything to a stranger what do we learn about you from your suicide what do you mean what would I put in the note once I’m finally going well it’s hard I know it’s hard
Dear World okay so sorry they will play this when you’re dead by the way.
You don’t want to put them in his head while I was riding around yeah things are getting hard like don’t take this as as encouragement to do what I did I had a good life
like I didn’t have to fight in any wars I never had to be hungry like I wasn’t a black woman can I just got off right now I’m getting the sense
some of the best blogs on the planet I say we just ain’t showing
come back as a black woman
a black woman persecuted
if I read that it’s funny how you know the improvised are helping the right but as I was going to the new him like that guy would never commit suicide I was never in a war I had a good life are you sure
I mean you brought it up
what friends do we help out so how does it go from there you say a bunch of positive please I’m so sorry for the mess like I wish that I could have jumped into a vaporizer or a sarlacc pit I’m so sorry like it’s your for those of you found it and all the stuff I’m so sorry I think our species with a notion that we are not good enough and I think it provokes us to do things that hurt ourselves and each other and I think that once you get to the spot that I’m in the whole world
everybody else’s is acting like human being sweet
do you want to go on a high like The Carol Burnett Show
it is for some myself so you feel responsibility to the people we’re not successful as you right now
I’m not getting that are you okay you can stop you can you can stop being successful anytime you want but you want to work hard and be successful and get praised and have a thousand people cheer you don’t want I don’t
that’s our country people
a percentage of a thousand people. They kill themselves so
clap yes
I will let me start by no. Ok
it’s not going to get any better
the writing’s on the wall as it gets the it gets harder harder leaving soon
it’s hard it’s hard to be on Twitter
you guys do you guys think there’s not enough gravy
you guys are unhappy so I’m going to kill myself kind of he’s suicidal and he says when I just kill myself and he says that the alien all-knowing person says to your email your Superman you were comedian you want to save the world tell funnier jokes you delete people write but I think people are unhappy and your job your Delight is tied to like them so you’re making the world better the world you’re complaining about your fixing and so then you take yourself out of it but what about all the people that say don’t you should go back to work writing cartoons instead of talking about
John the president isn’t in your like well I don’t want to write what am I supposed to write a cartoon about
not physically
how did we get it I never said what you said to be so I’m going to kill myself I guess it’s that’s what it is is that we are at a point in the politically like we’ve got like it was easy in the bush years in the neck wrap it was very easy to just be like a Han Solo and be like I don’t have no love for the Empire but it’s I love just so I can smuggle
as of the election it was like are you fucking kidding me you’re either in favor of the mass enslavement of all humanity and absolute freaking apocalypse or you’re part of some Rebellion than a suspend its lifelike flying and x-wings and doing like horrible and stuff and it’s like you just like am I supposed to fit and I don’t want to learn my bread-and-butter I do want to find out what I’m made of this isn’t your average you have to take your life
all right how would that look, what you doing I could have some friends over and I could have like a roller skate party
and I could rent a five-story tower have a roller skate party you know I’m not your right what you’re saying is that I’m a fat white straight I never said fat or strength
I’m pretty sure that was me you saying that my responsibilities so it’s like moving forward you have to live in the fucking apocalypse you can’t dramaticized it’s so much that you can avoid living in it you actually have to be to character in it you have to let go okay so this is the way the world is it’s not normal it’s not good for old narcissist
30 States word women and black people every fucking day
I don’t believe there’s that many women in black people out there
some of you are trying to find out what was the point you were trying to make the Dan
when when you were saying to him about okay you’re you know you do, D you make people’s lives better
what Houston he was saying that the world isn’t happy and he’s one of the reasons some of us aren’t a part of it anyway I think it’s like that’s what we that’s what we ended up a dressing taste like I’m going to give up or go cynical you know that’s because you’re like what the alternative is you have to like do shit that’s like uncomfortably going to strain your back but at least enjoy being cynical about everything you can enjoy that it was easier before to be cynical what happens if yours I’m still single one of these like an ass burger Trump voter
you’re like one of these Silicon Valley people look like
I’m not I don’t want I’m not asking if you could use your ring to buy eight hundred years I would like to be a Schindler
for all of us to be heroes what song is this
did you do what did
what did Schindler do again, it was a beautiful ring
young black women like Millennial black women on Twitter who are alike like kind of rally like the Democratic cause and then they’re like up against like this it’s like you can’t just miss it like we got behind Hillary and she lost and so there’s like this thing and it’s like we’re looking down the barrel of the singers like the other side of the cloud and like we can’t get along with each other like we’re like there’s like genuine socialist and I see everything that they’re saying they’re like a fucking like why do we keep mitigating our language about this why do we keep playing ball why are we acting like politicians when it’s not going to work we’re in a political debate with professional politicians why don’t we just revolt and resist and have resisted mean something and be socialists and lactis
and then
push it otherwise the boulders not going to go anywhere because it’s it’s up against another Boulder it’s like all the evil people they have no problem getting along because they all agree that they should just lie and hang out so everybody in those people are like no let’s be Democrats because how else are we going to win you got it if you don’t like Pepsi if Pepsi’s owned by Hitler
just because Pepsi Hitler as a fucking sucks
but what are you going to do be Sierra Mist and have no one drink you ever
I don’t know what to do because I don’t like write a little note to say hope you like season 3
we better
I mean what are you do Jimmy crane I don’t I don’t mean to say your last name
fucking videos.
Scott at the season 6 of Veep
Brenda Johnson I’m selling stolen coats in the alleyway
Dan yeah what would you like to know
I’d like to I’d like the really old
who do you vote for I voted in the primary I voted for Bernie Sanders and then
and then I had huge resentment towards the Democratic party cuz I didn’t like how they traded treated Bernie Sanders and I didn’t vote wow
I didn’t respect his bravery that wasn’t going to be out loud
I needed you white people we trusted you
we taking it back the next day we run is going to be a black guy
you don’t know what to do because you never have to fight you shouldn’t be fighting right now cuz we shouldn’t be either we are that’s what you do to get involved.
Is there is there a connection you think between Jimmy not voting in the in the election and Dan Lange to kill himself like it’s both these two people that didn’t get their way and kind of don’t want to do what they think is the hard work they need to do and just kind of having a little tantrum or no offense I mean obviously I mean it seems like it might just be I mean last week thank you so much for your honesty but it’s just it’s this thing you know the people who used to dealing with adversity they deal with adversity and they kind of don’t want to deal with it because you no condition to do it like underprivileged people tend to be hope for the Democratic party I’ve totally like I feel betrayed by the Democratic party and I feel like both parties like are taking corporate
Play Hopeless about that chance where was like oh what do you like ranch or cool ranch and I started leg is again it was like in the resistance and also be surrounded by hip people all the time. Sometimes be around morons if you represent the interests of the majority of people because most people are stupid but if you if you’re on the side of the rebellion’s on in the Starwars Universe it’s like there’s a guy’s head
Bloods get along with the lobsters or whatever the fuck who cares but I know I don’t want to be so I can Christopher Lee like tension people’s next shot just because they don’t look they don’t dress like a Girl Scout like I like I don’t I don’t want to side with the Death Star. I know we don’t judge the people were trying to help her like I believe that every but that a society should be judged by the quality of life of its Leslie fortunate people and then simultaneously be like that smells like a chair you can sit on your couch used to that stuff for you still like the laser line dividing like it’s that laser line divides the Bernie crap from the Hillary Kratts whatever
like we had it easy I accept that I did not vote I’ve I’ve liked I was I was I was behind Bernie and hope that Bernie would like I was like and I stayed out of it because of the gender thing because I did not want to feel like I was like this is trouble this is a hot-button we do it with the last thing we need is to buy sit this right and I was like fucking all right. I had let’s all vote for her because she’s a Democrat we need to defeat these Nazis but but but you know and it’s just that stinking thinking it has 30% of you who who cheered for the other thing and I don’t want those people just miss cuz they’re smart people but but but like yeah that’s that’s that’s where I was at you know it’s the truth because I have bipartisan system with people built a fucking government on top of our constitution fuck these assholes
put them in the eye but God damn it to half of them is cancer by a virus they’ve moved in white nationalist possibly Russian spies don’t even go there just forget all the Russia gate there just past the Republican Party are dreams the bipartisan system which is going to shove down our throats as we were born like would collapse that dream came true in a way that maybe it’s not as convenient for us as we thought it would be like if it was starting with the Republicans going like Hitler’s running okay well as long as he’s
the end of the Republican party like if we could be on the other side I also got in the sense that there was a I was 18 years old and he was a third-party candidate saying like I’m 44 I was like like like Blake OK Democrat we’re Democrat then because we have to get this done but I am sick and tired of being told by the system that were in a state of a fucking emergency the entire time on a cheap little dreamer voting our conscience and I know that that speaks the privilege I do I know how silly that sounds to a Gemini
I’ve just like I’m looking at the Statue of Liberty now is just like a black woman a black Millennial women who is it I’ve been hurt I don’t give a fuck I still believe in some form of some system I have every reason to self destruct but I’m just going to be a Democrat and I’m just going to push this Boulder and we’re going to push it and like I look at them as being Heroes right now because they’re not being treated very clay killing people just come in here they have to deal with the meat moves
I love it black or come home from work is like
fucking with me
I don’t know what we’re supposed to do we’re supposed to ask me another white person
how about how to lead
I didn’t hear what he said
I don’t have to
let’s fix let’s fix America was an amazing scene stagecraft
great I don’t know that’s what it’s for man yeah you’ve been awful quiet 30 Rock
You are uncomfortable with this when are you until Tina hits
I voted for Trump
you’re not joking
Christ on a cracker it’s the 1st of April everyone it is the 1st of April
I was ready to go by 10 minutes on how I support Trump
okay
since I’ve known your Columbia you were getting to be a better and better actor was a child at the dawn of progress
he’s beautiful yes he is
I want
bill I don’t know about this one
he wants people to hang out with the charity folks
I’m worried about the boy because no baby full of immigrants can succeed
brightbill
a pox upon your mother don’t you talk to me like that I have freedom of speech directions symbols
I will learn to do skateboard tricks and if you come to invade me you’ll be so tired from those trips that you won’t be able to deal with the fact that we fight like Indians now is this what is this what happen when I fertility I mean this I don’t understand this
what are you doing I want to see you’re too young to be riding a skateboard
I love everyone but I feel like his movements as some symbol of something
I’m fourteen Now in America years that means it’s 1812 does your mother now has menopause and we’ve gone through strange confusing please do not in this house please mind your own business I want my own room I’m an isolationist
Bill feel he’s been up there for hours what are you doing
I smell something funny I’m going to do something sorry I didn’t mean to talk over you
there’s only telegram technology stuff that’s happened.
Finally Bill you’re disciplining him he’s been talking over me since he’s been born
I am having a great time how old are you now which makes it
so we’re cleaning up all of the Native Americans and your father had an affair
French yes
Bill Wright
England
you dressing up how you want
taxation without representation is get off my back old man we’ve already discussed that a long time ago okay well I don’t right on okay fine
yes no no yes
it’s in the 100
look at this bill by accident. I think
latte please.
you’re going to call your mother a bitch
arnar Arias says it’s 9:11
ignore that.
You’re right you’re welcome England Phil straw cuz that’s $40 and I guess what the fucking dollar is what rules we came by actually to ask if we could borrow some money really so Grandpa’s Divine Right didn’t earn you anything at the bank
we’re thinking maybe we did some things wrong we’d like to try it again would you like to supplant your existing class system based on inheritance with a new one based on a meritocracy
the class system works I’ll believe it when I see it feel like I told you this wouldn’t work with him he’s just so stubborn the money from the petty cash where all fucking rich
so I guess just like take here you go like talk to us later thank you okay.
Could I have a hug all right just for the time being the 60s
search now the 60s okay
do you want to go right to Vietnam
you’re really a disappointment
maybe he’s right
what’s the temperature doing okay all right all right first give your mom a little player we go Freedom Ring with his bell bottoms bill
I haven’t felt like a woman in years Bill thank you
you can now make a dollar inside and dollar for the Ninja Gaiden dollar chips that makes multiple dollars come out and go up through a Reaganomics chips onto an internet just trust me there’s no more.
robot dancing SnipSnap velcro zip zipper zipper I like it’s chunky jewelry as well you can make cocaine
motherfuker
but if you’re black and you feel very welcome it’s 1976 it’s the country size mentality the bicentennial
I was in the eighties I had done the eighties but I don’t know if that was clear to me because I called cane with the Windex I think was more late 70s I’m sure I don’t think it really came mainstream is like when cable first game it didn’t really come in till 10 years sweetie he did say this is the 80s bitches
feel you’re right
I’m sorry
we’re sorry I don’t even know who you are anymore I hate Iraq
I love you
since 9/11
no
look up look up Chicago Jewish it’s under York
Mom Dad yes we heard about what happened yes heartsick by send a card
I know you’re going to be okay so listen I want everybody okay honey going on right now yes
what do some research before you decide where to go
we just think you’re just Jim gets kind of need your reaction a lot of people are thinking the same way you are right now
how to read
when did you become
honey you are not thinking straight when did you become like this
I’ll check it out
and I try to make improvements
mom you’re so attractive home my God
hello hi I don’t have much time to talk to you I’ve got a lot of drone strikes to do
okay
there’s been no change to the existing class system but I’m wearing a suit and it looks good on you
just thought I’d come by and
well I got you look just you look fantastic you dropped a lot of sinister your father is too proud to say this to a gender role wow
she might be my mother I don’t know well
you know he’s got that hard thing we all have a heart I can’t believe it’s you know like a serious heart thing
and he needs medical can be no medical coverage and we just don’t seem to all our money is going to Insurance Orville die
what is an odor
something coming out of his stomach
I thought you were going to say this with health insurance would you got
I’m America face 2016 I’m 45 years old if you’re following the
I’m going to masturbate my fingers it hurts but I won’t admit it
changing it feels great I’m going to come any minute now I’m not mangling my penis
I was never racist ever it was never races you were supposed to take care of us
I want a divorce
I’m just going to take a I’m going to ask sit this marriage
it’s an exit
A-MAX it
oh no oh no oh shit
I hope one of his spies doesn’t have a job CA on me getting pissed.
Well, did it
that’s my right to be taken care of
there’s nothing more I can do bitch
maternity is a disease pregnancy is your fault I won’t help you get pregnant if you do get pregnant it’s your problem if you have a miscarriage you have to carry the dead baby around until you got yourself if you lactate
if you live in a trailer park I don’t understand anything about women
that about sums you up
I never
I never expected to be here I didn’t know I didn’t want this I didn’t think this would ever happen that’s why my symbol is just a frog from a cartoon that didn’t everything about me is unintentional
it almost suggests outside collusion from a foreign power but I want I want to get into that what you want me to do I do
do not listen to them
African fucking a beautiful beautiful prostitutes we have some of the best prostitute in the world
I’m sorry I have to go now all right I guess I’ll just be left alone
I hope that you
AR
escalator escalator escalators
welcome to Trump’s Key Tower was so do we
you should have seen some of the Chinese people. I just got to a point where I couldn’t have anything to be proud of anymore so it got down to what I was born as
Direction you didn’t know whether you wanted to say we all want to be special to say I’m a part of something that’s why I even the most liberal given control over their own world will just run into suicidal drama you are talking about that
Jimmy crane thank you
in the end I guess I failed because no small part of me wanted to just be a small part of me is ironic given that the greatest part B John F Kennedy or my spleen whatever your country can do for you but what you can do for your country also ironic that he was shocked I was going to say that he objectified women but he got away with it cuz
you and me foodie
you are going to love this future beautiful oranges I love white people I love white skin take me there now take me
I’m there here we are together but it just looks like a like the architect’s office in The Matrix Reloaded
it’s just a what do you mean it’s just in a room full of TVs
that’s what you were going to bring a longer
did you popular
and
we did it
we did it we solve the problems we change the world I think we fix YouTube is I don’t what’s what time is it is it we should do that showing high schools do kids learn
or getting close to 2
you give me a thumbs up on the wrapping after you can make music and then when you guys
maybe you like it
all right we do it all starts cuz it’s been it’s been an intense show it was an okay one like my Energy’s lagging I just got to just let me get in the flow
and then I may throw you guys
windy city is the city with when I thought your mama till she became send she used to be fat and then I got in I made her lose weight and then our life begins I want to fuck your mama in the back and front yard I want to take a lawn mower on a pussy going to fuck your mama so harder to us
all right
starting over
you grabbed his dick with my Southpaw jerked It Off
cuz your daddy’s dick is just an object for me your daddy’s piece of shit cuz he’s mail is a piece of mail
I’m here to use them I thought your daddy broke just using cuz your dad he’s a piece of shit he’s just a dick and balls on a stick
men are dumb
they can be replaced with your thumb sticking in there like
roll it around and have some fun your dad he’s just a piece of garbage nothing is going to ride with garbage ever
I fuck your mama I thought the giraffe it had a long neck so I snapped them to I fucked your daddy and made him eat poop she ate the poo and you said that’s good I took him outside and made him shop and he was an indentured servant to me
there are seven kinds of Europe
yellow mafialo Borg off orange and three others
Chicago to Detroit with a t
okay alright very common name in Chicago Troy
is a thing
you take the 43 to the 95 I thought your mama the entire time she was alive and I left when she was dead because I’m not a ghoul
dimple yo it doesn’t matter who you are you still in American
scraping the barrel orange group two feet I thought your mama just returned to me I didn’t have to fire idea fighter she was good to me only me I looked up from her from the street to said pray to Jesus I love your mama she said Look Down said camel Lama I said, hold on I told you you need to give me a couple of chances to start
Holden Town remember fuck your mama was seven types of printmaking
all right
but come out you going to you going to be my hype man and you got to give him a mic that he can use to.
Alright one more beat and then let’s just let’s Brandon’s going to help me do a great white rappers only one b
come on man come on man
cuz you tell him they’re not ready for me yet though
cuz my dick is a bird of a Feather to your mama’s mouth I’m going to eat my dick and my balls are going to take him from here to Niagara Falls close before she fell on me
survey says
I thought your mom with you
a Pokemon with Pokemon
alright that’s okay
Randy Johnson
Chuck-E-Cheese Chuck-E-Cheese