Episode
Episode: 261 – Grodily Plausible
Description
In an in-studio episode, Jeff tells a mysterious story about Ron Jeremy and Dan discusses the tragedy in Las Vegas as well as the effect of easily-available smut on the web on today’s youth. Then the role playing gang ventures forth in their exploits. …
Transcript
hello gang member bank because the fire marshal shut us motherfuking harmontown is now in session from the confines of the recording studio at starburns Industries I’m Jeff Davis should come chill. Give it up for your game math you have to give him nothing I listen you can clap you know ya come wherever you’re listening right now all around the world just do yourself a favor just for your own sense of peace of mind giving way up for the game Master Spencer Crittenden thank you I’m going to give you time to kick you don’t have to but we just don’t tell them not to take laughing of crap themselves out and I want to do it so long that people that think they should have stopped by now or going to feel bad when I keep pausing
alright screwed up here mayor Dan Harmon
thank you
thanks very much so yeah we got shut down we were apparently performing quite illegally since the from the very moment that we left meltdown I wouldn’t have left now down if I had known that I wouldn’t have had people audience is coming into any legal place if you’re listening and you come to the live shows no you can’t sue us and the rumors that there was a sex for pay Scandal happening these are all on sounded we were illegal in terms of like you know the fire department you know this is serious stuff like I don’t want to be in violation of fire code we need we didn’t have permits that we we have applied for a long time ago I think the misunderstanding was that we thought it would work like driving where you are when you’re 16 you can just have a thing in your glove box that says you’re working on getting your license
how do I get a provisional Fire Marshal ever wondered in that we could just flash a piece of paper signed by our drivers ed teacher and we would be there for just a little uppity keep performing we really had Big Dreams for that been you remember the guy who said oh here you go with your podcast The Playbook you got your own venue now you’re going to die I mean he’s probably because he’s a dumbass that guy’s definitely high-fiving himself right now and I wouldn’t say this vindicates him but he would be proud his threshold for Vindication is probably very low he probably congratulate himself for masturbating is probably dead you know what I’m not going to say I hope so but because we got a lot of death in the news going on right now and I was like I want to be human out there alive that that that is is still alive
in our friends church and Cody and Danielle and Rachel were having a drink and we got the message the show was canceled 40 minutes are you going out in the same neighborhood now originally I what I heard was that there they were operating illegally so the fire department showed up to shut them down and then noticed the big crowd outside our castle that’s not true I would then at what I done heard is that it’s it’s a little it’s a little less ironic than that it’s it’s actually because they were operating legally the fire department was there to help them or something because you got to fire people on hand if you’re going to perform or something like that we’re going to have a crowd in the space of a certain type I think you need like an off-duty fireman or something like that and that person was there in that capacity saw our space looked for his colleague that should have been also there didn’t see him punch that place must be 9 must be flammable
and and so then that’s how we ended up getting shut down and I’m really sorry to anybody that showed up that night including two people that have flown in from or driven in from long distances we feel terrible about that we didn’t get to meet a few people that had to Florida from New York or Pennsylvania or of course if they started to actually expressed discontent when something like this happened I would immediately skip the hating them but as it is when they’re there because they’re so nice about and I’m just kind of been a lot of them because I mean imagine the disappointment it was like literally some people that that that you know they think they’re always a little embarrassed to actually say the words I came here for this reason you know because he wants to say that especially if you are a nice person you don’t want to be killed somebody out or imply that you’re this is the you know the big thing that you wanted to come out for I think there’s a natural kind of Shame there and that’s why I’m always real
impressed by those people are always so nice I could maybe the ones that aren’t nice and I really outrageous a skulk in the shadows and curse my name but a couple of those people came by the the guildhall the bar that we discovered that I can eat for dinner. Seem far it’s a couple miles from the stage if you’re in Burbank go there but these people came and they got to take pictures and then wrap with us and buy us shots and they acted like that made it worth it and I really appreciate that how you feel that way also but can I can I tell you what I was going to go to a show but I couldn’t because harmontown I would have gotten there in time our friend the singer peaches the teaches of peaches she’s fantastic I’ve never seen that I could do a full life show she’s playing at the Roxy so church and I went and we got the right on time and the show is absolutely fantastic after the show
we’re up in the Green Room at the Roxy and we’re having champagne and see our friends are there pictures of Zeno and her makeup and sweaty and new sheets you just did a ridiculously high-energy badass Ron Jeremy is also in the room is usually at the Rainbow Bar and Grill every time I’ve been there and he was like an unreasonably moist like he was very wet like you just had he just had a Sheen and like kind of like the hi Pro glow he was very oily do you know that this is uncharacteristic of I don’t have any ID shoot it’s an air-conditioned building and he wasn’t dancing for you seen him naked so you know that air conditioning or not he has a built-in he look like he had just been so she looks horn sweaty he was just in a t-shirt hanging out in the green
and I’ve seen him there briefly
h e walked right past me as he was leaving this very small green in the ring was really like it’s a half the size of the smooth and he had a banana peel but spent banana peel over his shoulder like an epaulet and it’s hair is long run Jeremy wet hair is in like kind of intertwined and I’m sitting on the edge of the couch with a bottle of champagne and cups cuz I was kind of being likely the fact that look like bartender and arm’s length from walking towards the door that sir you have a banana peel on your shoulder and he wheeled around 6 but he was bummed out about it and now the series begin so
I mean he did he previously 20 minutes before then did he have 30 banana peels on him to dump a barrel of banana peels on him leaving my first my first Theory doesn’t like people say pics or it didn’t happen this happened so quickly Pixar didn’t happen to my studio beg to differ all right go ahead pics or it didn’t happen why did not take a picture of this because it happened in the blink of an eye that you you’re supposed to be a woman to ask him about that and then he makes a dick reference or something I did my first Possible only reason I go to that Grody Leah pop possible thing Grody illegal
you’re my favorite woman says I don’t know what is that song what is it is it what am I thinking of quickly irritated by my mentioning it wasn’t a bit of a banana peel off my right shoulder is it a way to make that
not Church of the photo of peaches opening a but she had a banana after the show benefit of the doubt we’re still doesn’t explain his weird Rancor and irritability with that he saw peaches eating the banana
took the banana peel maybe have her sign it I don’t know and then put it on my shoulder though because he’s a clean freaking just want to shake people’s hands with a banana peel on that where she put it on the news but it’s like churches shaking her head stand any more benefits of Ron Jeremy was doing some sort of surreal like artistic to run Jeremy and looks like he’s I think there’s also like you are making the assumption that the rancor has to do with the banana peel but if we if you think about what it must be like to be Ron Jeremy there’s probably a super high percentage that any given moment at a gathering that has any kind of like hip quotient to it or what
pornstar because we’re awful rude to our our pornstars we are would like we treat them like garbage we treat pornography like garbage we’ve used it all and probably working on that soapbox but people in Los Angeles performance than a recognizable as such I’m sure that just as like I don’t know women of color or like got really tall dudes or anyting meaning any person that has anything really specific about that is probably there probably in a higher risk of just having had some kind of encounter it really just pissed pissed him off like somebody somebody for the hundredth time this week like I asked him some questions that are for said phrase something in a way or like he’s become convinced that like there’s certain kinds of people that refused to shake his hand because they’re afraid they’ll get HPV or something and he he he’s connecting dots in his head maybe he was like on his way out as I got my banana peel my is Michael j.fox
I’m leaving if you’re going to be walking that Razor’s Edge of crankiness because somebody recently had said something that was kind of diminishing a root beer famous print start be in a bad mood don’t have a banana peel on shoulder and my pitch is that is not what switch them off for a few caught up you caught a famous person in a bad mood and pay them as well as said you were going to shoes yes but he was having a good time it’s not the first time I’ve been in the same room as the rainbow grill bar and grill I’ve never hung out with him I’ve never been in close confines whether it is my first real Ron Jeremy encounter and I wasn’t going to go up to him and say hey can I get a photo with you cuz it’s not
yeah I know but Occam’s razor if I had to bet my life I would I would go with your the grown-up way plausible saying which is that he he does this thing where he puts a banana peel on your shoulder and a photo of a hot woman asks him if you want to see the banana you got to come to the bathroom. That was my first instinct but why is he coming up with a banana peel and enough because he whatever it is the lead up to that is whenever it is maybe maybe some of our listeners are going to go in Google this and find out that this is a long-running thing that there is a hilarious bit
what is like he’s doing a deep track Ron Jeremy joke that only certain people in that room would have got but he had garbage on his shoulder and didn’t have a sense of humor about it would confuse confuse me for a long time my little Stanley box in the corner where I coming up is in the bottom and say by the way Webheads if your if your friend with a with a with a pornstar are you are a pornstar me listen to please don’t feel like we’re just judging him this is just a weird him being a pornstar doesn’t doesn’t weigh in it could have been anybody
that is worth mentioning to people know his name if I saw Pam Anderson and that same thing happened that’s interesting to me how are you great hey guys you guys hear about these Chinese murder Vans I’ve only heard them mention but what are you going for well they’re like these bands in China and they come and they get people and then they just kill him in the Vans are these people that they have contracts out or they just randomly killing strangers on killing people who the state says they can kill you can hear this Patty taking notes during the live show two ways wonder what he takes notes during the show which is really impressive to me you could you could pretend
like you’re really smart like you could just be like hey we should talk about
Charles you can hear damn typing thing is I didn’t you can sound a lot smarter than you are you wouldn’t do when you’re not doing a live performance could do research laptop setup for a freelancer know that I think they’re Freelancers that are employed by Patty wagon but instead of they put you in the van then they kill you and always a bridesmaid sale
this is a real thing I just driving around picking up people don’t get in that van know they pull you in there like the Siri that Chinese murder van is just a racist phrase for an ambulance so bad murders in India
look me up a babysitting in the both of us out here at this stage feel but like you know you believe you but okay…..? Because I guess better meeting that we’re going to find out that Jeff and I are bad at playing because it will be more like the authentic stuff like Nerd Poker off work we’re really just playing and there’s no way for us to fall back on you only brought the one we don’t have the bottle of vodka in the room
another advantage of this format as I can I can press pause walk out get a drink and I could teleport to a state of drunkenness to extreme they designed to make you want to reach in the phrase sick of doing the live podcast because I don’t want anybody that’s been a fan to feel like they could like there’s a betrayal there anything like that like we’ve been doing this for a really long time it’s been a live show I just I’m just saying like I’m saying what are the positive thing like I was getting to a place where I was really starting to ask myself and this is been a slow build since November I all of you listening or probably you had your own little transitional stories like where you’re dealing with fucking shit which is part of my thing was what is dinging a iPad Smart devices
let’s get him on FaceTime
can FaceTime Charles Manson because I’m not unlike this thing where I stand in front of a microphone and I kind of kvetch about how I don’t want people to tell me to tie my shoes and I wish I was on the mood where no one can bother me in the streets shouldn’t be curvy they should be straight and all the stuff that was like it was it was working really well and it was like it was working really well under liberal bureaucratic technocratic feel like we’re seeing where everything was kind of great and I didn’t have to acknowledge that it was great because I could be a rebel because everything was running in an orwellian Lee smooth wet and a very backward pyrrhic radically like absurd way so I could just do cry lights absurdities and societies a little
I’m and I’m like I’m like in and we’re all worried that they did just like Nazis in the streets and it’s like politics are now like real life they’re as real to us as as our black friends are telling us they’ve always been like toward our female friends are telling us and end and that intersects with all this talk of that we were having a blah blah blah blah blah all that leads to me at 44 almost a year past November I’m like why am I why am I doing the show where I get up every week and I’m like battling it will make her phone likes to I’m angry now and I’m fragile and scared and all the stuff and I was also I’ve been doing the show for years I would be a really stupid on healthy person if I if I changed radically anything about something that had been building for five years and growing with in the span of of of anything less than 6 months so you know I got
that’s why I was kind of like I’ve been building in my anxiety and an unlikely and showing up to these shows and you’ve heard me being like it maybe you haven’t picked up on it maybe you have but but like I said I’m like how do you like it sometimes I’m yelling at the audience sometimes I’m not was all manifestation of that and then just happens like now I feel so I can just talk about God and throw your shoe at your laptop all you want you you you beautiful atheist we need to further our society but I just feel like the universe just kind of makes this shit happen like I was kind of sense of relief when I got texted that the fire marshal shut the show down cuz I was like oh that’s going to take a long time to rectify we might have to do our show the way my favorite murder doesn’t the way Duncan Trussell does it this could be a really fun thing like this could be a shot of Vitamin B and the show’s arm
did you do different stuff like this now I don’t know I mean you guys seem kind of stoked about it at Spencer’s look at that look at that big smiley face oh yeah well the truth is that when are in front of an audience if I look this blank everyone would be like angry and confused and like what’s up his ass but that’s kind of my neutral face so now you know I’m free to just let it go and not like smile and Nod occasionally to pretend that I’m like you know still with it and I’m keeping up doing the live show Being Alive podcast has its ups and downs like when the show is good and awesome often is because of the fact that there was a the crowd interaction made it good but sometimes It suffers because of that like it that’s not a guarantee that it makes it better or worse the castle and that we would then be
do you dislike feedback loop that I was obsessed about where we can have people tweeting and then I can answer the tweets and you could show schitt blah blah blah magically then then it did it turned out if I really want that to happen if you start producing like a visual show and then were visual it gets the more alienating a skit we do got to our listeners etcetera so there was a lot of incentive or non incentive to not move in that direction once we got to the new venue so it it it it starts to occur to me as we’re sitting here yet pump out your audio podcast and will Howard Stern Joe Rogan it by bringing the live stream cameras in here isn’t that more valuable to people and can’t you do all the shit that I’m talking about where you go hey if you’re watching the show is like you just have cameras we can even make them permanently like mounted up in here Greg proops on on smartest man in the world podcast
and then he does just like audio from his house or whatever he is I got to be done in a hotel room from the outlet in the Fortress of Preparatory Clause of the purpose of fortitude and I like the change I like sometimes hearing the crowd but sometimes the live shows have bad audio and they’re kind of crap because the technical difficulties. Sometimes I just like hearing Greg just monologue into a microphone and a controlled environment obviously we’re going to do what feels right but I’m just I’m just I’m just sharing my current I think this is I think it’s cool this is the right time for a change to come along for me whether a temporary permanent or or it causes some kind of weird Vision where we have the podcast but then you know when we do have live shows Los Angeles or not is that
driving to the privilege of okay it’s going to be a live show we’re going to have slides and cartoons and tap dances and make a dog tricks make the live shows more event-based and say what does a reason we’re doing it like 20 bucks a ticket and give it to Planned Parenthood invite-only Fire Marshal Steve minion if there’s if there’s at least nine Fire Marshal’s we can we can create we could rewrite fire fire code yeah oh shit Steve Levy
and everybody thanks for having me
how far is Brick
can you guys talk to people who want to go get a drink that some good Applause 30ft to go to the from from his recording studio to his Lounge because if you don’t know the starburns industries has its own bar where all the meetings take place and it’s quite nice surprise me
leaving with me how you know you got a long 48 hours to 72 hours. I don’t even know anymore I’m so tired crisis averted though for now we got shut down on Saturday night at right before 8 there was an audience already seated right and we there you were there and people were already getting drinks from the bar area and then the fire marshal shut the thing down and then you had to you and who Brian from Aunt was a champion and Chris pulled off until you guys at midnight had to find a new venue go scouting her that shut down we figured try to figure out what we can do we had a lot of conversations Nolan and Chris at a deal with the castle stuff I contacted our whole team for working
Morty to see the next night on Sunday night is Rick Rick and Morty if you don’t know what that is that’s a big Adult Swim streamed event with paid people like you got some stuff yeah we talked about the episode live and that’s a big deal and expensive and time-consuming move what do you do when you lose your lesson 24 hours from showtime and you have an entire set you have to move so I can first person I called was Jen Ross canoe is an amazing producer here at Star Burns and she
she started helping me out try to find a place I finally got in touch with Brian baldinger who books is Italian producer on the show and he yeah he he found someone with a space and he and I scouted it at like 2 in the morning we should have pulled the trigger because we couldn’t find anything else it was going to be really expensive but we need to the last time I saw you was like during harmonquest I think you were being sleepy levy on the couch yeah there are times or just gets really exhausting is start like barely to take a nap fun of someone sober
pranks in like a glass jar and she’s the kind of lady who’s a sleepy or leave it just got no family it’s not the dance freestyle abilities would suffer from not having the energy of a live audience
so are you recovered emotionally from the the girl situation at work fires that that really
took a lot the last couple days were horrible because of the Vegas thing and Tom Tom Petty where the new stories are dark things have gotten like like and it is in not in a cool way I feel like now like because you we can’t communicate effectively are honestly with ourselves as a Nation about about how worthless human life has become we are now like the mainstream media not to sound like a fucking jag off living in the woods but the mainstream media for the lamestream PD poop I noticed it maybe this is a refraction nerds are the effectors a distortion in some way. This is what I’m feeling is I’m looking at the news when I guess I just typed Las Vegas after I hear about this shoot I see what I see is a nation that immediately
he is just talking about talking about it which is really disturbing to me that it it it it’s like we immediately left to how many famous women responding appropriately which is like it has become the new steam like like we’re awake we’re almost virgin and some kind of lysistrata and gender gap where we don’t we wait like we wait for the day if you’re a woman and you have a voice like now we’ve just gotten so like when the rubber hits the road we just want you to shut the fuck up right leg like 58 people died in this maybe it’s a coincidence maybe these are all just coincidentally female people but if your female politician your female comedian female comedy writer it seems like you couldn’t say anything right about any of this which is really disturbing to me because it seems like the alternative is to respond appropriately to Anna 288 and breaking a world record for massacres after we have already decided the 20 kindergarteners who have hearts the size of a bullet it wasn’t enough
really how how long do you expect people to maintain their the the the the the gears and valves that it takes to Bow your head and take a moment of silence when human life is wasted in Logan’s Run like they want it to be a ritual where we keep sacrificing human life and then we keep on and then it’s like a who’s going to fart first who’s going to break the silence let’s all bow our heads and hum the national anthem quietly what we talked about how our thoughts and prayers are happening and then the moment a Saturday Night Live writer off-duty on Twitter or a female senator or professional Tweeter blogger says something that is effective because maybe it’s satirical maybe it’s biting maybe it’s a little inconvenience to here however long
after the final bullet expands another American Life at that happen then we get to a stake and shame them and then pour gasoline all over their feet and play with matches and like just like I’m not trying to fight night I’d like like I do happen to notice that it’s always seems to be women that’s a call and a side order of intersectionality or whatever like overall so fucking deeply troubled by the numbness that I felt when I heard about this and then the end of the data that hit my eye balls when I Googled it and how the theme seem to be that we were being chastised by our own technocracy for responding inappropriately whether it was not responding at all or or responding with biting wit responding with political please to please stop it I can’t believe you’re still having this conversation
I can’t believe people have the balls to say I don’t like 3 minutes after the last shell casing hits the floor is not too soon to talk about fucking gun control you fucking heartless piece of shit like I don’t care if the families of the victims want to wait a hundred years to talk about anything they’re the families of the victims that’s not that’s not who we are and who has its heartbroken how about this is way too many years after Sandy Hook to talk about fucking gun control I am a gun owner I still want to talk about it do you want my gun back late like like like let’s talk about it legal gun sales go up when these massacres happened that is such a mind fuck even if you’re not politically motivated forget about red side blue side. Just that such a philosophical mind for gun stocks like this boomed yesterday
it’s this is like a unique disease we have it it’s really frightening how logical it is that everyone keeps corrupting any of these mass shootings and then every time a mass shooting happens everyone runs out and buys guns because they’re afraid that the guns will become illegal because someone used them bad again the day before the
what was the Vegas thing on Saturday Sunday night
and I was backstage and hang out and it was really fun met a bunch of people met Jason Aldean and the guy named Jay Jackson has a guitar player in that band he had texted me the day before say Hey or 91 Harvest Festival you want to come out and I’ll get you tickets as I can’t I have a thing of it go to and
the next day that happened and it was his band that was on stage when the bullets were flying and I text him is it how you doing and they said we were on stage when the bullets are peppering the stage and we all had to dive off the back or to the side to hide and then run during the positive that the sky was taking while you’re reloading or whatever he’s doing and they all made it out alright but like and then church your sister what my have the best friends and I forgot
yeah my my sisters friend was at the show with her friends and they all ran and I guess they flagged down a car and this person was nice enough to just drive them all all the way home and when she got home it was only then that she realized that she was covered in someone else’s blood so you have to think of how close she must have been to actually getting hit because she was near enough to someone who was on her and everyone’s just so disturbed by that I thought what cuz I wonder how many of those fatalities are trampling I think a lot I mean it if you’ve ever seen that as well whatever I just slide photo taken writers of like of the images of it and their people hiding in its exact same tent area that I would have been in like where I know I would have
if I read that show me making it about me but I did just because I can physically picture the lay out there there’s no way out because your fenced in there and it’s only a couple exits because they want to control the comings and goings there so there really was no way for people to go as far as I can imagine because I remember trying to go out and get somebody in a time is only what couple little like small egresses there yeah well that’s a that’s a theme with terrorism is like you know they’re taking advantage of of of of of water house like environment created by capital of Paris because he was a white guy he’s alone wall he thought it can’t be a terrorist and the podcast that didn’t talk about this hey how about this topic suck my dick fucking jack off let’s fuck you and good kill yourself
and that’s but like fuck off into the night and suck and suck your own balls and fucking to fill it till I fall off and roll down a hill and fucking end up in a steamer trunk and judgments get out of my head you’re not entitled anything you do nothing you’re a fucken jerk you’re a piece of shit you’re a fucking garbage person you you you you. Why are you listening to my podcast and then picking and choosing what you like and don’t like about it fuck you I already have my older brother’s voice in my head as a voice of every fucking bully on the playground ifucking I come out here to Los Angeles I do the hard work of becoming a fat blowhard that owns a microphone and you know how hard it is for me to spout nonsense into a microphone without having to think about your judgment I’m a I’m a I’m a troubled man
I don’t know I thought don’t you feel compelled to have like a little like like they add like like I said gives was like are you worried that like as a DD segment that without that will play that it’s like the absence of the audiences feel simultaneously refreshing and also like oh shit are we a creature that was breathing audience water and like then when you put us in this terrarium out of our aquarium like now we look like a floppy weird that everyone is going to notice that we are boring disturbingly is it Spencer is exactly the same he hasn’t changed it to his friends or just sit there and be amazing if I just like lean back and I was made out of cardboard
but you like it more now you said which is kind of surprising I could have thought of the other way around where you it was Spencer sitting there thinking realizing he’s going home and my dad Pan Tang like it it really works in front of an audience and now I’m just a guy that’s not saying anything you like and what you don’t like is the feeling feeling pressured to say things and you feel more pressure in front of an audience right that’s one of the competing theories at the moment Steve just walked out what does that mean it’s just left back look look look look for a lot of really good a good hunk of the Indies are contacting you now
if a guy in your head is telling you that that’s you telling yourself that no it’s the part of me that it’s a part of me that’s an unemployed flannel-wearing golden retriever owner in the middle of America that that is called himself a graphic designer but really is just a freelance douchebag in any food sits and listens to the podcast while he masturbates which is a weird move but kind of poodles poodles around 9 like mine maps off. You know what it’s me it’s me I just described me this it too hot to wear for listening to harmontown have a Goldendoodle to harmontown is masturbation thing you got one tattoo okay and is that good or just a little more on the back of the shoulder and
he’s getting really rough houses with his dog like like you keep to eat at this is dog wrestles with a dog thinks he’s a dog and and and he likes throws it like raw meat and shittin like like tried to take it from him and they both eat the raw meat in their backyard in heat he owns a snowmobile and he like I don’t know he just didn’t it and then if you’re talking to you just eccentric a big bear if you live somewhere warm cuz he can maybe came somewhere warm because he decided in the tundra that he lives in that he’s a graphic designer so he came out like maybe brought his snowmobile cuz like to go to Big Bear but he he like he’s it just like he loves beer he loves like nine hundred different kinds of beer thinks that beer is like a thing that you should experience every different kind of flavor of and then that’s fine that’s all good but when you if you go to his Public House they like to drink and then once he gets three beers in him he starts please start saying some fucked-up libertarian shit that
you’re like you can only bite your lip and go like yeah
because you don’t want to argue with him but he’s like just the he just likes throwing out like like like at the top of his brain he’s like he’s he’s he’s like making these observations about like how I should matter instead of just the black lives and you just kind of like
heartburn from this beer and you suck you fucking suck I just know we’re never going to get along and I like and I’m going to end up auditioning for you and I’m going to slowly sliding T Radiology because I can recognize the logic behind it but I don’t feel it myself I don’t want to I want to talk to you you’re too bro e
stop listening to my podcast man listen to it if you’re that guy but like every two when you listen to me just like to listen to the podcast likely is that isn’t totally stupid and he likes smart stuff or something I don’t know and like we’re not like bleeding heart whatever is like but that’s what it that’s why he’s hated the podcast since November because then now I’m starting to sound like all the shit that he hates because I now I’m like freaked out cuz I used to be a full-blown anarchists and now I’m now I’m like a Democrat basically because I got you for the time being cuz I can’t cuz that’s the lever I keep pulling cuz I’m so scared of fascism I just keep pulling the lever that says don’t let fascist win so and it’s like the system and that’s the game and I which is what I used to say so if if if if I have four years in my podcast I do like that that leg started to like build up like I don’t
I shouldn’t be surprised but I’m just saying like let’s have a reckoning here guys like if you’re that dog wrestling dude and you feel that way like you don’t have to leave or stay but like can you do me the favor of like looking at at at your time with me as the inverse of when you go to the gym within in other words like this is your you should be more of a lake lake lake lake lake where you just like exercise your pussy
like like like like like like where you acquiesce a little bit more because I’m going through I fucking crisis about this shit and I’m sure you probably noticed I try to be honest about the fact I don’t know what I’m talking about and then I’m a lazy and hypocritical and and and and and whatever like I’m not I’m not I’m not ever going to like decide what the truth is and start barking it at you I’m just like always saying like this is where I’m at at this moment I could you take that ride with me without without this fucking thing that that drives me nuts that it’s all in my head I guess is like like like this idea that the podcast existence of dichotomy of like that then you just Sonia and then I want to fucking beat you in a bat
I just want to let you know how much I hate you because for my own Integrity say for the same reason that ironically that you wrestle your dog and don’t like me because you don’t want to be told what to do okay great so like mine is your dumb tattoos that you got legs like we’re basically the same flabby fucking blowhard assholes you could probably beat me up in a fight you know how to use a knife but you know what if you cut me scorpions come out the truth yeah that’s a little that’s not a metaphor if you ever seen the original Clash of the Titans like if you fucking cut me bro scorpions are going to come out of me giant ones
my blood will fit inside you know they start small watch Clash of the Titans the original Perseus if you are my blood my blood hits the ground little tiny Scorpions form that then quickly grow through the miracle of green screen to do the size of Mammoth if you cut me a little Burgess Meredith is coming out that’s what I’d like to talk about that is that it from Rocky crash of the Titans come out of it but they don’t get bigger you represent set sets that knots Aramis
are you are we don’t know who it is but we know he didn’t get caught in the movie and now he’s kind of like the Obi-Wan Kenobi’s Mentor a guy guy is the one who stabbed this limited-time the Medusa the Medusa’s blood is what makes the Scorpion I believe there is, or little metal owl there was a three-headed thing and then there was the metal owl and then Burgess Meredith in from what I heard of the reboot in the reboot of Clash of the Titans they’re going through a trunk and one of the things that they pull out at while they’re throwing garbage around as a clock work out in the guy looks at it goes like this garbage
like frozen in the river that’s hard on your supposed to be like that’s amazing because you’re a fan and you hate the clock workout
don’t I know it will never understand it I know we talked about that at the end of The Lone Ranger movie where it’s like he’s like hi I don’t don’t don’t take the job rewriting was movie if you like what the fuck is your problem I was thinking of a straw me sandwich in the New York when I was a kid and Stage Deli and I’m having a pastrami sandwich then I’m 10 or 11 years old so I can Burgess Meredith watch buy me down the street and I like yelled out loud until restaurant
nearest bald people there was a celebrity was just yelling out a name of the movie we saw Richard Gere walking down the road and I could hear my mom ovulate my God you should have just sat at the fair I told her she had her first if she got her. Like she transitioned from girlhood to Womanhood during an Annie DiFranco saw her first orgasm was like at 12 or 13 years old at a Prince concert shoes with her mother or father or both and she was I didn’t know
who is happening to me I was watching this man before she realized I came like she had a full-on prince orgasm orgasm article about Prince when he died that where it was like it was like from the point of view of
trans what would you call it you can still come and drag queens right that’s by yeah like I think it was like but I can’t remember that part I can’t remember what it was like cats or performers who worked with in the the the the fluoxetine the outer edges of the binary world the Harrow normative sphere and but they were talking about like how Prince was this song That You Don’t Preach with music that lately no matter what the song was it was always this size of the good Prince with specialized the sonic waves that came from her prints were perfect at at turning straight straight people buy orange a like it like it was like like if you were on the edge if you were curious like the thing that would that would get you every time it’s like there’s a good making this music by intention or not unconsciously that that was the energy purpose in the world that that that was like something that was kind of known to DJ’s and strippers and things
like Catholic propaganda well I mean yeah it is but this was from a place of like things are people who are like thankful for his properties there like we can we can really put this Prince guy could sing the straight away I mean he definitely like the androgynous Revolution started to happen to pop a Boy George and Princeton and evens heavy metal like if you could tell whether you were a boy or a girl I was like a little bit to your discredit you know if you really needed to be like that you’ve the Mad the warm you were more masculine if you were like we’re like yeah it was more makeup and hair spray and high heels and took it to the extreme as I got to say that you’re going out of your way to be fake drag queens but I got to confess cuz my brother was five years older than me so I was a kid and I was like 10 years old when that was happening it was a little intimidating to me that was too much
quality for me it was sexuality I don’t even know what sex but I mean I knew what sex was sex was Pam Dawber from Mork Mork & Mindy sex was Penny from Inspector Gadget I was her age eight eight eight eight sacks was like it was you know Linda shein Buckner if you actually because of Penny from Inspector Gadget 3 come on we put it on that everything’s actually like I what are my most common fancy a pillow and think of myself as being Skeletor thinking about fucking either to you or She-Ra from He-Man a verse but it was like I guess because he was a monster and like maybe because I had I had like these blue pajamas that were really tight cuz I had like I was sprouting so cuz I was going to puberty
so it looks blue pajama bottoms that were basically becoming tights because they were so small like they were made for a little boy and I was becoming a man’s I would like holding out to my blue pajamas so something about like guy talked about this was like I didn’t want to touch myself but I was like getting so into like so I was just hoping everything and said that it was like I was like I didn’t want to do it with my dick out so that I like and I’m like in blue tight pajama bottoms and I think I just like got the visual cues and I was like Skeletor do that was something that was on TV when I would come home from school and then I was like what I’m saying is like everything was sexual The Charge of the Light Brigade peanuts when I first started masturbating like maybe like 12 ish I first started protecting the Arts or beginning the the Lifelong Love Affair of masturbating there was I was going to the the bedroom the back of the bathroom and I
I had a lock on the door is one didn’t wanted it and there was a magazine that had a with Nadia Comaneci the gymnast men’s underwear or something like she was like what kind of wearing like boy short underwear and that was the sexiest sexiest thing in the world for me and a guy I have like I had that magazine like a treasure that one picture of Nadia Comaneci
yeah I mean I was a big thing in the 80s big people grow up in our generation everybody knows about like the Sears catalogue. For nography it’s just hard to Fathom for anybody that was born in the internet Victoria’s Secret catalog catalog free sex like the more the merrier it’s like so funny that grows in your walls why you hoarding it in a folder we are young like we may be early early High School like freshman year there was a house like not the big full sized magazine size the house like a smaller one that had like stories in it like Penthouse Letters or whatever I love the the
we hid it under like a moisture Five Guys would run home from school to go to the tree and unearth this horrible Relic and sit there and modern moms like mom’s or 30 now and they’re like kids to me they’re 14 years younger than me and their their moms are for kids who are starting to their catching their web history on the laptop YouTube like where you can type in anything you want and and dare I try to assure them a weird conversation cuz they’ll Express all this anxiety but my kids that’s searching for this how are you supposed to raise a kid healthy in this environment where they can just type stuff I like and I always respond by it which I’m sure is it reassuring
YouTube with a pile of mud outside on a railroad track you no like me there was a printing company that made Hustler that then so like touring sheets of it would end up next to the Crawdad Pond where we hunt for crawdads and like my generation learned about sex in in mud and dirt and ladybugs and crawfish and building a raft and going down a river with no more and closeted and therefore but have a propensity for urologist foot-in-mouth or in the worst-case like actual ghetto aggressive behavior I think it’s worse than growing up in a computerised technocracy where you can type in vagina because you don’t know how to spell it yet and like it says do you mean vagina here’s a hundred
I mean obviously with everyone’s worried about is like yeah but you can type in horse fucking into YouTube and like it’s just like a kid can like lately and it’s like so if they’re exposed to all that stuff how can I grow up healthy and you know I don’t I don’t have the answers but because they want to watch two horses talking and that’s that’s that I need to fear is that the more sex is DEET be mystified the more it becomes the is there’s an invitation to sociopathology there have access to an infinite database of sexuality is that if you grew up where it with sex being precious and mysterious and marked by threshold Rites of Passage and your kid is raised in a Mainframe of sexual imagery is it your kid going to have more of a tendency to become Jeffrey Dahmer
because the look at all these boobs and vaginas and bestiality and then gender-bending and blah blah blah and because they won’t have any thresholds our Rites of Passage about it then they’ll they’ll crave something more flavorful which can only be any that like the darkest things possible I understand the logic of that the gut-level emotional logic of that but if you really think about it and I’m not saying I have the answers in Willits all Society let’s do this experiment we don’t give a shit what kids do on the internet but doesn’t it also makes sense that that’s an inverted logical principal Spencer don’t you think that that’s like a classic logical fallacy that that that that that if the kids have access to more sex information that they will become kinkier because what we’re really saying is I had less access to sex information and him own
so kinky there for my kid who has all sex information will be kinkier than me that’s a lot but is there a label for that fallacy I don’t know I mean I think it’s probably true I think the internet is only reverse stigma in terms of sexual acts I don’t think it’s really added any stigma to any sexual acts that hasn’t been there before you know so in a way the only thing that can happen barriers being broken down and dust people getting kicked here and kick you right but that’s you know Define I’ve been doing weird ship between a pre-internet the demorge perspective which was that cuz I was talking about how don’t you think like a day is like poison is much as we disrespected it’s like it’s the it’s the tip of the spear in it and it going to cultural sense because when you reduce all Humanity to animal
Mystic energy which does include this big black studs going to fuck these two white girls like they’ve never been bugged yes your your animal lysing the black dude but these women are not everybody is an animal which is a state that you go into when you’re jerking off and like that I was trying to explain in those episodes which I do but I do want to I just want to say was actually whenever there’s delineation that it doesn’t matter how Progressive it looks to you I don’t mean to put words into my mouth. I think it would his point was is like whenever there’s a knowledge mint of a black man being black basically that’s it you know like you’re you you may feel like it’s better
then then hitting them with a belt in a bar because he’s black but and that may be technically true but that it’s a it’s also a fallacy to say looks like we’re making progress in the foreign world because because there because they’re not saying you can’t fuck because you’re that was my that was my Felicia so I just wanted to make sure like I think I understand his point of view to it’s just like okay like the day comes when pouring is Martin Luther King style i e everyone is just a person and nobody is being called like check out this spicy Latina. We’re not we haven’t made it anywhere and Portage and maybe not the tip of the spear may be pouring is just a jet stream behind what is racist like when I was thinking of making progress in the pouring rain in the Fantasy Realm world
I’m just saying I just stepped on talking about like spicy Latina is important but I didn’t say anything offensive like that women are spicier than other races. It allowed to complete it I had died I definitely like made it clear that I was like on the right side of History
if I was in front of an audience did like they have their like
that’s my least favorite person is the fucking dude who just like a fat guy fucked up dude is that is that that guy that cuz that sounds so fucking dismiss you fucking idiot that’s what that sounds like if you have any ideas you may the time I’m not saying I hate you I’m just saying like I fucking I’m just saying this is good for me the escaping from a couple of fucking likes sounds that I have to listen to get my desperate addiction to pleasing people this could be really fair what the fuck did that mean
do you remember the McGangBang I saw you at the same with Spencer. This last weekend the McGangBang, sickly just a bunch of bullshit and Engraving all these crazy names and then certain people like Steve act like it’s like a legitimate and it’s just like a fuking idiot in Florida you’re talking about it’s not like an established menu item chicken inside of a McDouble sandwich and thanks to the internet you can say can I get a McGangBang it’s like it’s like bartending Job shot but that doesn’t mean that the establishment that you’re drinking at approves of the concept of a blow job or
yeah it is at like like it you got like I’d like I’d like to I’d like a gang banger though in a McDonald’s drive-thru and the person might say what or they might say okay got it at McDonald’s is the cancer
we’re back we’re we’re we’re ready to play some D & D good and proper here in the booth no audience
that’s what you want to give him a recap cuz it’s been a hundred years since I’m prioritizing let’s let’s say it’s the police fire marshal
yeah that would be really funny
they put a handcuff on Troost camera hey Spencer do we have a GoPro anywhere maybe maybe someone from our audience has a guy sweet hook up for a new SUV oh yeah and they can message us some redditors yeah if you’re in the if you can give me a new car let me know if you’re listening to this part in the show this to be a great time to go subscribe to BarkBox work box that’s a box full of shit for your dog not actual shit that’s what your dog makes put that in the box and get it out of your house the box coming in for your dog toys snacks yeah sometimes those boxes are themed and are called poo York City have a dog to get a BarkBox I have the perfect subscription for you it’s called the box box and you can actually rent a dog and all all send it to you and your money back if you don’t like it and that’ll give you something
BarkBox for
did the sister company I have a I’m opening up a breakfast restaurant that’s also a dog grooming facility and it’s going to be called Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch
alright what’s that business again raqeebano what do they do you get breakfast but not eat brunch you can give your dog brunch if you want that it is much more about people that can afford brunch have a dog need grooming and want their dog groomed while they enjoy eggs benedict right and did you get the name Steve Barky bark in the scrumptious brunches in the Funky Brunch
Jesus Christ
how many got Shark Tank and fucking talk all you guys okay I’m rooting for you I’ll invest $10,000 and yes I love your idea I’ll give you a Starbucks kind of thing wear braces all from the waist up I dress like Pirates but from the waist down there wearing like Gap chino pants
and it’s called cappuccino
I like that kind of humor but nobody likes my kind of humor
I’m going to I’m going to take notes this time is going to be great cuz I can just type on my lap like like that guy I love this format I hate the audience
I’m going to become a great DND player people are going to be jealous video game D&D video game named after you Dan Harmon’s Pro D & D pills from you got them from the Assassin’s you took it out of their bodies and yeah all right
come out of the body off their clothing and then shrubs that I have a weird hand he said a lot of things discount them I don’t think Rob is, all right are you ready to be the best D&D players I’ve ever been you Spencer it’s been at least three weeks maybe more since we’ve played this to let’s look at look at this out
all right last time on Harman will not last time like 4 times ago what happened you guys are just solve the problems that we’re going on in the town and you had the prior and you took him hostage will not hostage you took him under arrest and you’re going to bring him back to the home Church office for punishment I think you did that and you were going there with passions and then you got beat by Bandidos they really stab the shit out of pageants and also diarrhea Junior who is conked out and they took all of his clothes they took pageant clothes and Bone the fuck out I’m patching started sobbing and he was like Jesus Christ oh my my life is over and you’re like what’s going on is like this Jewel was my whole job was to protect this Jewel and it’s gone for boy you search the Bandidos and it turns out they might not have just been normal Bandits or Bandidos they might have been some sort of hired task force assassins who knows what they had us special
arms and armor that seemed normal are better than Bandido armor they had a message with a secret message in the month of the language they had poison pills and a sack of silver pieces what else so yeah it was all crazy you guys are trying to figure out what to do you were thinking about maybe chase them down you interrogated the Bandidos but you killed him in the process you don’t know what to do cuz you’re thinking about maybe going back to the home office to research the secret message and turn in the mission the prior still. No
you nailed it perfectly timed and almost not the metagame but it almost sounds like we made a mistake not having her with us why you ran off and I think and then I think the chances started complaining about his Jewel and I like this is why my character will will fail because he’s too much like me
I got distracted by patches need I wanted to make sure he was happy to take everyone’s doing good can I take some of that stealthy leather armor as a too big for me as a numb right now it’s too big to have you can put it on but it wouldn’t work as well and you can you can also get it fitted so if you take it with you can maybe get a little later to locate track of the prior we made a big mistake got a way we should be going back to the headquarters of the Church of the silver flame with him and
guest as you say that you hear the beating of hoofbeats as hooks pound the ground you see a black horse in the night in approach has been on the black horse there’s there’s a dark and shadowy figure yeah he’s wearing brown plate-mail you don’t know what it’s made out of but it seems kind of fancy and pretty heavily Warren
turn on the back on the behind the writer you can see tied up is the prior on the back of the horse kind of over on his stomach he doesn’t look conscious I’m you recognize this guy it’s guessing he’s the better in church militant Inquisitor from the eldeen campaign building campaign was a campaign that the church went on it was like a crusade to purge dryads from the forest so you didn’t actually know Gap in a little bit from that it’s not like you’re great buddies but he’s someone you’ve seen around you might have fought side-by-side with him or you know something like that you can he’s kind of like an old person Templar you’re an Inquisitor you like higher ranking than me dies in his heart to tell the level of the inquisitors and you’re not close enough to know his exact Duty he just kind of shows up and leaves and stuff so you don’t know what he don’t know what he does and you’re not closing
turn to ask. Close enough to him to have asked but I found some Vermin scuttling about in the night does this look familiar out to you he tosses the prior down from the horse and he just laying flat on his stomach he was unconscious and he awakes from the Sudden Impact he’s all tied up it does indeed have you found a source of our humiliation Captain we let this one escaped and we weren’t supposed to thank you you don’t want to tell me that because all I’ll let you have them for the right price come on but you already kick him off your horse thing off or wasn’t it he’s right there in front of you first of all he’s not exist because we don’t know that he’s a bad guy one silver piece come on man
Jeff and we work for the same company we’re not supposed to charge each other for doing the the company’s job yeah supposed to serve two masters but yet you know they’re pretty pretty tempting and the flame
right now the coin so you’re not you’re not really dealing with the Flames bidding like that you presented yourself as a stranger to the church you know so this isn’t wholly work so we’ll approach it like you’re traveling Merchant I am whatever you guys want man I’m just I’m just fucking with you but I just thought I could get a couple gold oh yeah once you enter little closer than I thought you you that we’re on fucking around level yeah yeah I showed him the secret messages see if he can decipher it I’ve seen this
Guild language the language of the guilds use a shorthand it’s it’s kind of specialized for business purposes like accounting and stuff like that transactional but you can be used for other things to you can’t decipher it because of all the scribes use it it’s a very kind of language we need to take him back to our church and get back to you want to come with are you want to you could just kind of deus ex machina the lead II silver pieces like a good guy like that guy in Game of Thrones that Uncle Bill or whatever that comes out with his uncle benjen he’s got those fire Macy’s or whatever and watch Game of Thrones I watched it at your house before I love you the most
Benja is like a half white walker that only popped out every now and then I have one question about this The Guild will keep the guild like we’re acting like there’s one Gilt Gilt I’m a little I recognized the language too but we’re just to be clear all guilds have languages all guilds have their own secret language no no it’s just like a secretarial kind of Thieves Guild uses the same secret language is the anti Thieves Guild will all the guilds tend to use language they use other languages to but when they’re writing you know accounting or business-related stuff they’ll use this Guild language so it’s sort of a language that specializes in accounting and and and diplomacy are right there like a hierarchy Union if you don’t want to be having Dwarven screw
and then you have Dwarven metals and trading them for Elven where is there an Elven script it’s easier for everyone to just learn the guild language I think I kind of get it and I’m excited about this world it’s like basically it’s sort of like a a really lateral way of organizing normally mish-mosh common it’s like it’s like markdown language it’s like assassin’s Thief plumber if you’re in the business of business let’s let’s do a CSS kind of coding language that that maximizes the ability to transact right is that a little more adventurous
stupidness you know that 58 people with an automatic arrow and like we’re all bummed out and I just like that sometimes Society does so it does function well okay alright well I think we’re going to we’re going to Scamper off over to the lake
she asked him which way to go to the to the main Talent is saying I don’t know where it is where it is right yeah yeah I mean where we are you take some rope out and read read my mind and hands and of our prior but just an aside like will where I mean I’m saying like as far as I understand it like we don’t we have a categorize the prior in our heads is like a bad guy he’s not like just a coward and on willing companion he’s not like he’s not easy it’s like we’ve arrested him but he’s not guilty of anything until a judge says tell you I only had to arrest him because he was threatening the safety of a kid you know because he was like and it may be because he’s one of the good guys
turn on in the basement of the church that. That’s under his purview is like but as the guy that sits like if you run into a a guy you know after I attack he’s the guy that’s probably have involved the church will have something to say about this sure the church started we’re not going to poison that well the last time I trusted he’s a Flight Risk is this song
when God I’m a Country Boy. Me a hammer and I got me a date got to live and let them John Denver Thank God I’ma to travel on the second evening I’m the only notable thing that happens is on your on your path in the nighttime you’re you’re you you feel the quiet broken just as if something strange is at
then you look out and you can see over the night sky over the trees and canopies of the outlying area you can see a large muscular Brown demon like a classic demon like a muscular humanoid with bat wings you know like I just a classic demon blade got classic giant giant orb LED Globe light glowing eyes and he’s he’s carrying a lantern hanging Lantern and he’s just hanging out in the gym is where Stampy you seem like it’s very far away and he’s flying over like you might see a dragon flying in the distance in modern times like I like I like I have black helicopter diarrhea you noticed it like you feel like your heart stopped like in your chest and I like it actually feels like for a sec your having a heart attack
did you see that even makes eye contact with you and Leon and just keeps lying on and nothing else really happens it doesn’t seem to really how far away is it from us more than a mile but it’s just he’s a big guy so you can kind of see what is he flying over trees do anything over the Treetops do we notice that he detected diarrhea you saw him like look but you didn’t see that I can look I guess all of you kind of think you looked at you but only Steve felon and he said I feel like I’m having a heart attack so we turn our attention to him and say what was going on there his eyes were piercing looking straight at me and my heart just stopped I think it’s weird bodily reaction to that creature looking at me from my understanding of Arcana
believe that demon is a searcher
I may be making this up. He’s he’s he’s looking for stuff it’s interesting that he sensed diarrhea but that wasn’t his objective all right that’s a demon that’s got a job and his job involves looking I said we go investigate this shit oh that’s a big demon there’s three of us and I’m weird prior like I think we can handle this shit we are on our way do we know he’s an unfriendly demon
demons are unfriendly team is not someone you trust is it’s even on the way to where we’re going to be going out of our way on our journey to the church it is but also it’s like it’s flying and you guys are flying ants miles away is Frank FAFSA like you kind of have to triangulate away from our destination will yeah it’s kind of like it’s going to Pat’s somewhere fight far off our path in the pilot of Pokemon like happened and we should continue on our journey for shadowing I just want to take the opportunity because we’re focused on travel because I just for my own edification I know the character knows the stuff it is the player I just like we were in which in this realm like we’re in a continent called what
realm called the Corvair the continents rain is like the one of the kingdom and and we were visiting our end where is this is where we’re headed back to the most most you’re going to stand for rain most of the campaign Potter okay if it where is it until it’s a city that our headquarters are in the county of placeholder and burn a b c or burn like pure burning propane or something have your birthday at the headquarters at least not maybe that globally but rats but it within threatened right the headquarters in the plane keep your kind of the satellite offer it got it
demon flying local or what knowledge nature not with those knowledge has no I stayed at patchin’s is he awake how’s he doing yeah hey guys was that it was my voice I just saw a demon seeking something that knew we were here but didn’t even want to bother with this is it possibly searching for this Jewel of yours I don’t know if demons are from a different dimension is hurting. I got to tell you guys as a member of the the church militant to the silver flame we’re going to go back to the church to talk bierocracy when we could
terminate a demon from the world and destroy evil or a real cross roads to the finish out the job that we were assigned it to you until you piss me off because there’s fire inside there but there’s a fire in a cage is a fire prison and I’m the fireliker I want to go get that fire out and burn this demon I want to get back to placeholder
okay you guys should fight should we have a boat all right what are you guys I want to go I want to go
okay I don’t I mean so what are we going to track that thing down cuz I don’t think you know is related to to a larger
okay I met a game a danger from the church of the silver flame I mean really full of weenies if we Chase it down I still think he would be in no danger
well you guys there’s a million demons that we can go we can go on them down one-by-one and end up getting killed because they’re demons or we can do the job that we’re supposed to be doing I want you you want to go back home for just one night where we could shower and just leg day that we could just click it in bed maybe so comfy and maybe we can get like pancakes or something I’m a child of nature I’m in the woods in the wilderness is my my shit and I lived that life wandering from Adventure to Adventure getting in any trouble that presented itself and there was no completion there the church rescued me gave me structure in the church isn’t perfect but it gives you a role in the universe which is to fight evil and if we depart for the church is packed in just go jumping into trouble that I may as well she had my silver flame pendant and and and just become a regular ask Alaric wandering the fucking world
hunting treasure I just not that guy not yet you’re not
I don’t know what the fuck that means but how far away are we spent her from the church you’ll be there by morning you can see it from where you are going to church let’s play it safe I appreciate you you know I mean silver flame first like I got a lot of complaints about other churches run to this prior represents that maybe I was trying the prior in to see when you get there you can see pure burn Abby as well as Pure Barre and keep you see pure burned keep is the barracks and it’s the base of the church militant that stationed in placeholder works with pure burn a bee to keep the peace but like the more churchy people go to The Abbey in the more military people go to keep it keeps they work together to keep the peace in place holder and keep all of khorvaire safe from evil
you arrive at pure burn keep at your home office it’s like a classic you know coming back to the coming back to the office or the situation to go through the front door and into kind of the medieval office pool are all the inquisitors and militants hang out and they have desks you know there’s there’s people like that it’s it’s not your home really because you’re used to just get it done this is more of like a paper pusher place than four soldiers and Warriors and clerics you know we have lockers at something on your clothes
why do they call you spooky Carla weird shit and so should you leave work for a church you noticed an old friend of yours Absalon he he kind of walks up to you and it’s all I got a man going on did they have you back you got to you got to fill out the paperwork Epsilon possibly finding somebody to do that for us since we play great paper work people oil I had I had some Headway I don’t think it’s ready yet but I had some Headway so wish forums just you guys this your job you know what the forms are you misinterpret the word cleric sometimes he gives you a fuzzy orange ball
top of a pencil know it’s like it’s like a Koosh ball kind of but maybe twice the size home into it has the couch think he’s like no this summons an orangutan I’m working on it but it’s not it’s not that you’ve been working on that helping us to get everything for me
you can app that you can share this with some new horses were you really we lost our horses someone murdered them know I know I mean I don’t know I didn’t know that there was a bus we got to we got to take him like a prisoner we have here as if On Cue
the second part I don’t know maybe it was meant to be given out in two parts
this line will see you in the briefing room that’s brother Schrader brother Schrader
his name’s not super important but me and I don’t know it’ll be every note I like it disappears after doing that like magically like his head was popped out of a door windows in the thick stone walls of the keep Schrader takes a seat apart from you and seated nearby Schrader is a bishop recognizable mobile form but unrecognizable in his face or body or based on any of your memories
Bishops are pretty big deals with in the church ministry also comes in with you and also leaning up against the wall is Geffen he’s there the Shady Shady room he gets in yet snacks no no no I approached the bishop to and is it customary to like bow or anything like a higher ranking
do we have like a thing that’s like not in this kind of thing what are saying the flame hold of pee keep the flame Burns too tall for burning always keep that flame burning chaos is a ladder once has like I’m so sorry Casas Lac me the flame purify
then may we be found worthy blessed be the fruit
her it will ferment
does that he said around and sit like a cocky when we have the prior with us and I take him this is Pryor doing first name Abernathy Abernathy from Roane believe you’ll have more information than then we can give you a we arrived at the site of a quite of kerfuffle bad things happening to the livestock they were doing blood magic rituals and making crazy blood Logans and the whole thing blew up
we didn’t blow up the church the bad guy blew up the church and we were lucky to escape with our lives I think we blew it up didn’t know it was your lady I assume that was in the side right can you remind me a table talk like what you know where we climbed up the ladder cuz I was about to blow up like something guy who set off and we were like okay yeah he barrels it’s true the the priority was lost there was a blood magic is my colleague is telling you taking place at Abernathy here claims to be ignorant of all of it I don’t disbelieve him but I didn’t want to interrogate him without turning him into the the church that’s not our full report Abernathy should hopefully have less trouble telling you
the full story we should probably also talked to petty cash about replacing a couple doors for the Bell family I want to put in a good word for Abernathy before anything begins and then I think that he was the prior for my observation of an Abbey that have gone awry at been infiltrated by an evil force believe he was dealing with it I believe it pushed him over the edge so he was in danger of harming others that we personally and exercised already we brought him here against his will because his will was to run but I believe that because he’s aligned with the church that that that I just wanted to put in a good word for him sounds good I appreciate your candor and your honesty and your was just being a good detective gumshoe Ori
so just write this one up for the logs you can collect your pay from zelle in the commissary will take patches and apps and talk to him for a bit you should tell patches is looking at you like it doesn’t hate to say it but we’re not on salary we get paid per job you are on salary and you get paid for a job call Sweet passion doesn’t want me to check on sidebar patching those want me to talk about the fight that he lost an important I finished my says I can patch unless you the luck on your patches this guy his actions he was a huge Aid to us he didn’t know who to trust but he trusted us and helped us a great deal and he’s been under a lot of giraffes in it and we were we were assailed by Bandits
along the way back and he was hurt very badly I hope that the church will take care of him make him comfortable and I also like to know when he’ll be released from debriefing so that I can buy him a beer and give him my personal thanks it shouldn’t take more than an hour alright well thank you very much and will see you soon or we should arrange to meet somewhere yeah like where the Local Tavern awesome drawing room
call wake the skull and bone. It’s the play it looks like a pirate flag but there’s only one all right well yeah that sounds good yeah money all right so this this is the point where
three weeks ago when I came up with this content I had an audio video Porsche give the audio text would be cut in I could put the file online so that the audience can see it but it’s not perfectly viewable for us you know does that make sense should we do as a cliffhanger and do it when we’re back on say drive or should we should we go out and fight that demon
I don’t know we can print it for expensive trying to follow my dream of having a Navy behind the church can you wear a a fire marshal outfit and come in here and shut the whole thing down and play into the mic and then I’ll play it afterwards we can watch it but okay I’ll put it online. Actually if you’re listening
yeah it was looking at it just send me the Rafa I waited this whole podcast Late Show right now all this all this me talking around here we go
I’m so sorry if this is going to be in Christ never been prouder supposed to be a mission like a mission complete
this is amazing in a final grade of a D+ video game campaign mission is this is over at Nike for people we got a D+ overall in really fast good thing but maybe that’s the thing is that like you know you play video games and then you’re like
call Danny Spencer successful goal was then he’s like why don’t we make this really give you the dopamine spikes of us recover mission that finished well or not I can in your like. Okay so now you going to smash you with a naughty I know it was a great idea let’s go you should if I didn’t at one time when are we going to get a new adventure in place holder and then we like I’m going to the tavern and I’m going to have a drink in the VA so many storylines to invest
lots of mistakes were made but we kind of know who we are now we kind of know how to use our spells a little bit we we worked as a team we failed kind of the team but a G+ is better than an F I want to get better and I can now cuz I can take notes I want I want to learn to use note-taking software the best way possible so that like when we meet a character I can like hashtag it so that it’s like I’ll have a list of all the characters and get out like I’m going to fucking nail this so now that was just my main man who’s going to give us our new think how about brother Absalom Absalom hear that it reading out like I’ve been this Howard Hughes Obsession person about the new venue and how we’re going to show video and audio and stuff and Spencers
Spencer secretly would like you know what I’m going to I’m going to blow their socks on yeah man dragging them in the back of up and do this and then it’s like the fireworks on cuz I spent 90 minutes talking about how thrilled I was at work
it’s fine
well this would have been better if we had
it doesn’t really beautiful I know they exist it, it’s hardly to Parks and Rec level that I left but yeah thank you for a new mission right I feel it’s pretty safe to say the next time the next harmontown episode is going to be in this format we’re not going to just like leap into some Willie Nelson live venue like I’d rather refined this experience while we wait for the castle to become legal then run around town trying to figure out where until a week and then use live venues when it’s when it’s time to do that and we now and now we’ve we’ve added another knife to our Swiss army knife only have like our utility belt like we can we we’ve expanded we grew a little bit you dye a little bit when you grow a little yeah welcome to the strangest are of harmontown yet harmontown nights you’ll float too
so we have we have a we have not just a klutz hanger we have like we we know that we have a new adventure and a new episode coming up of our DND but we have so many things to investigate know you already know about this pizza I want to thank Steve leaving Spencer Crittenden thank you but thank church out there everybody making it happen in the booth crispo rough maniac
where do you find cat from
Packy at your wax if that was a gang of icky going to everybody thank you for coming or you didn’t have to come so far stay home and take chances don’t drive anywhere and take notes
come to call
Jesus Christ girls angel wings in his Christmas trees
to see you with an Angel
turn on unicorn horn
podcast
Mormons
Muslims nope
do you some letters about that and I are we know what’s going on with certain podcast if your country profits the Trump Administration and you’re Muslim that’s fine