Episode: 262 – Porcelain Birds

Episode

Episode: 262 – Porcelain Birds

Description

Dan and Rob talk about sexual harassment in the entertainment industry and the ramifications of a Rick & Morty porn parody being produced. Spencer reveals why people really buy iPads. Featuring Dan Harmon, Rob Schrab, Spencer Crittenden and Steve Levy.

Transcript

bunga bunga Numa Numa ladies and gentlemen welcome to downtown
thank you wow alright welcome to Episode II episode that we’ve done in studio I love it thank you rob schrab Our Guest comptroller you’re welcome we were streaming live now is the difference between this week and last week so now we’re actually even though we don’t feel live we are alive so don’t run into don’t want you to one of your Zionist Rance Levy Alabama. About how about how certain people are owed certain land they have to get it the other day it’s only going to get us in a lot of hot water so tonight I want to just talk about stuff which in the eighth feels it feels weird to talk about anything cuz we’re in a completely different medium like now you just hear your
voice and you feel like feels more legitimate feels like I’m a radio show host feels like I’m supposed to have a point of view or anything like that but I’m going to confine my points of view to my myself like I’m always supposed to do it’s a comedy podcast I am a comedy podcast personality come here for the lapse of funny things my point of view this is these are these are things that you thought up and you can bring it to the attention of the audience so these are the explosion of what happened in a second we should probably do like some kind of title sequence for for this segment right okay here comes
oh oh this is the over here yeah I keep biting my own lip in a sexy way that’s one of the things that which part do you get cankers I can’t have created a self-created tanker this is the headline let’s not go let’s not let the number to dick and Morty the I saw a trailer for Rick and Morty for a charity that I don’t even I haven’t even stopped to examine whether my feelings are good bad or anything I’m just excited it’s the best of both worlds you have the tangible nominal name recognition and basic physical resemblance to Rick and Morty and then you have real people having sex it’s truly what some weirdo who has a weird fetish for Rick and Morty would like and not just you know
and assholes interpretation of what one of those fans look like when I tap right jaw okay I watch My Cousin Vinny in it kind of holds up in in some ways the me to Facebook saying it’s kind of that’s kind of related to the weinsteins Rose McGowan Rose McGowan let’s let’s let’s let’s have a conversation about how we are in are supposed to say things starting with the word but that’s all the same thing that the Facebook thing and the Facebook yeah yeah
title sequence on power dynamics just because it really isn’t that the same thing and then I wrote down the word sex worker let’s call this segment what what what what what’s what’s what did I miss
do what do the word prostitute is problematic now right now are you at home I’m not doing a sarcastic bit where I’m like going like you tell me exactly a but that is what I’m doing but I’m not doing it parody I’m being sincere and wanted to talk about words that into the radar that it I don’t know how long how much longer than the word prostitute has been on the chopping block that I’ve been using it all problematic
what you say is the oldest profession has its well I don’t I don’t know I don’t think that’s I think sex worker is a more encompassing term that applies to more people but I don’t know that prostitute is necessary I mean it might be what’s the difference for instance I don’t want to take a more but you could be a cam model and that’s not necessarily a prostitute but it is adult film acting yeah you are not offended by being lumped in with her knocking off or when merging the idea that sex work as sex working because we want to not say because it’s too like biblical and provincial probably to go well your sex work involves really meaning it or something like like we’ve been we’ve been
the divisions that that need to go probably part of it I think it’s a prostitute is I mean it’s only one kind of sex work and so if you’re like all you’re just a prostitute in there like that then it’s like you’re kind of putting him in a more narrow box where they meet people and have sex with them when that might not be what’s for sale you know like even like even a dominatrix might not just meet people and have sex with them but they’re almost certainly a sex worker I had an ex-girlfriend who worked at that she work does it take she never she never touched anybody that shoot her job was like with guys in a dungeon something happen to my microphone or my headphones or my ego is it in that I am I can’t hear myself Network that maybe you’re right maybe you’re losing your hearing right now is the time to find out
I like I sound like what I know the bad guy in my head sound like when I have potentially passive-aggressive conversations which is not what I’m trying to do about the actual I’m fascinated and I do welcome the evolution of language I see I don’t I’m not I’m not a person that wants to wash in against the slippery slope of modifying language even though I was 20 years ago like now I look at it differently and I’m fascinated by it that’s why I like having these conversations when I would like I would like like you it’s it’s not everyday that you get someone let you know that a word you’re using is like changing and it’s like fashion fashion nobility yeah I can’t remember and I’m not going to it’s not worthy that conversation it’s more like
what kind of interest me about it is like we don’t have we don’t know how do you tell what if there’s no newsletter and that’s what the bad guys say what you tell me the rules and it’s like know why don’t you why don’t you fucking think what will when was I supposed to think about that as opposed to salt pepper and other words that I use completely unconscious and this ties into everything that we’ll be talking about that isn’t funny cuz it’s not a comedy podcast and I’m not being funny and I I don’t I don’t know cuz he felt this in power want to talk about I know that I keep doing this I’ll keep lashing out at a hypothetical audience than saying I hate you and you’re like we didn’t hate you why you yelling at me but I just like if you’re right now if you’re judging me I’d let you know who you are I don’t I judge you back I judge you harder I judge you first I don’t like you I don’t like you I don’t I’ve never liked you and me liking you means means more
then you not liking me you’re done you lost your at a crater you’re not even a person you’re a crater with shoes that just moves around wherever you stand identifies the point where I have I have power over you so stop judging me you’ve been judged I’m going to proceed with my podcast I don’t know if I’m going to be funny political what side am I on I don’t know what what when I’m talking when there’s diarrhea coming out of my mouth and it’s doing good I was doing bad I just talk and it’s it’s become my job I’ve give it to myself as a job here’s how I feel tonight about the following things sorry I said all that all right here we go so one or descending order okay my therapist said you know what’s happening right now men women Weinstein whatever the language
arguments everything what’s happening right now is a revolution of Consciousness vs. unconsciousness so all of the things that you’re doing and saying and being without thinking about them that has becomes the new thing they were recognizing as
problematic
and what we’re starting to put a higher value on a trying to create a society based on is the are the things that were thinking about where is consciousness vs. unconsciousness okay so the era of celebrating unconsciousness so like an example of the old era vs the new are the the archetype of the narcissist being like kind of a hero like like the system is starting to be looked at not it’s not like anti-hero cool like like oh you’re another person that isn’t thinking about anybody but themselves and you’re sucking is 7 stamp your feet that was pretty Chic three-and-a-half fiscal quarters ago socially and we’re just the bubble has burst on that market
I’m putting I’m putting words in my therapist mouth cuz she is not sick I’m trying to I’m trying to figure out like okay so when I think narcissist like it’s hard it’s like television movie I think it’s like somebody like Ted Danson and in cheers is that the old way or people or certain people used to think that guys like a scoundrel is an asshole but now is that per person a hero or is it the opposite I think we’re starting to we’re starting to that’s gone out of fashion if you cook it at character from cheers right that’s Larry David and Caribbean okay okay this is this is everybody right this is everybody is now cuz all of the funny this is the funny from like for a long time and the new hero is like say what is there a new example like Jay Jay Baruchel people who know themselves people who are
you’re not trying to do anything to me trying to understand yeah I feel like you’re tumbling me over into a hole like like like where I’m pitching you what’s funny I was no no I just want to understand what your I’m a visual person so you know I’m just I’m trying to follow you I can back off no no no just let’s think about ourselves all right so how much have you been thinking about what you actually feel like what you want to be right and wrong and you stop like for instance you in the time that I’ve known you you became like a animal person graduated from your love of your dog to not that I’m tracing your your Evolution I’m just saying like that’s how I remember the events happening and then there was a certain point where you you became vegetarian or vegan and ubk
like you don’t you don’t you think that you became Guided by a new principal you you and it was based in you deciding for yourself that you don’t want regardless of what you think is right for the world or what everyone should do you have to start with yourself and you had to go and I like animals like I don’t want to hurt them
yes I got changed about you yeah that said that that is that is a big as a major change so what if you know like what if what’s going on with the Weinstein saying is like a chance for guys like me to you know have a similar level of of inventory taking about a relationship with women with just equated them with food but but like I have been I don’t know about you but I imagine every guy has been kind of like
looking past the shoe box of what you’re like what it’s supposed to be happening and then you’ve been checking in with like some lower gut right yeah well I mean just in terms of like a last couple years I just
I ate like Kate has really helped me like see things that I haven’t noticed before because it’s been so normalize you know and there’s like entertainment and and TV and and just how people treat each other and I’m blind to it because I am the only person that I’ve ever been and
yeah I have my own problems so you do like having Kate like kind of Point things out to me it starts being more and more aware and then when things like this start happening in a shift is happening with with Rose McGowan on Twitter and everybody coming out and just it’s
it is any I do feel like a man you know why have I I’ve been a part of the problem my entire life back to your whole life for the last absolutely the same way when I went vegan like a bandit I went went that way because of absolute like guilt and a been such a good like overzealous you know trying to find like that that happy medium where I’m trying to tell people what I’m going through and why it happened and and and without
I’m putting people off you know that which which you know this is you know what women you know you know like they’re in that same position where they like no you got to listen to me this is what I’m going through but you don’t want to be a buzz kill a pain normal to hear anybody whine and complain about stuff like that like that as I walk away or we’re all having conversations right now we’re catching ourselves and each other in an Irate of like way if it’s for me way faster more infractions per minute too because that’s the topic that’s been talked about so it’s kind of like it’s like one thing I want to say to my my brother out there and don’t know is why are you raising my niece on Facebook I’ve never met her that you are you really that mad I talked about you know that my actual
brother might which is the public but the in the mail after that public like I keep thinking to myself I keep going like you know what we’re watching play out is is this there’s this part of it that we own which is the the easy part it’s the it’s the not thinking about it part where because don’t you find yourself everyday at 8 like like you said like stinking something and then because you’re old and Rich and bored and tired maybe like let’s get let’s give a break to our our Markham to up a twenty-year-old Brethren who because I just remember being a piece of fucking shit the further back you go so I can’t judge today’s twenty-three-year-old because if I was a guest on his podcast at the age of 23 I is a 44 year old – that awareness would would like
make a fucking huge show of telling them what a big dumb piece of shity was it wouldn’t help them why you listen to that garbage music is not real music or whatever and you do it’s just how because they’re new to the world in there they’re trying out stuff and there aren’t any classes you know any other because you can’t charge money for it effectively without becoming litigate about another words we don’t have a culture that we don’t have like we used to be makes we rightfully makes fun of our forebears for having these like these horrible classes societies that end part of it was okay here’s the book on whether a woman gets into an elevator first and all of this shit and all of that stuff is rightfully like we spin we wipe our asses with it so uncool The Fonz doesn’t have that book is just us it’s all about like that that American value system of like why would you ever why would you have a
rule book for interacting with flat rate that we threw that in the furnace and all that stuff and then now you have this thing of like wait you mean being 15 years old and not having ever any conversations about what we’re supposed to be doing and what’s going on in if in any fucking way that that that that drives all excited like Oh you mean I should just I’ll just figure that shit out and part of it’ll be owned by my parents and that’ll be owned by what city or state they live in and that’ll be whatever high school I went to subdivisions what race I am what class I am what income bracket with whether there was a freeway within fifty yards of me or at or at or a power line so how is that is so like we we we done fucked up in one regard with which we don’t have
training we’re not really we have movies and TV that’s our only tricks and physical interaction let’s just put like what why are you arguing I don’t know what you guys are arguing your policing absolute statements expressing a point which is of Education about how to interact with you I do I think I think in today 2017 sex-ed classes are maybe more robust than they’ve ever been okay. Today’s society I don’t think there used to be a conversations on consent back in the past all right so now there are so what you’re saying is the problem has been solved know I don’t think there are discussions I mean like in classroom so you’re saying that there’s not I don’t I think there are okay I think there’s an issue
yeah it’s a lot of nothing I say for the next 40 to 60 Minutes is going to actually be factual okay I’m okay I’m tired I’m pretending I’m making pretends is it the so we don’t have if we have no sexual culture in our modern society we are we are mystifying it we are telling each other in random combinations that it’s it’s up to you but yourself like oh it’s nature it’s nurture we do we are we are it is a fundamental thing about us the way that we interact with each other and it is the most mystical thing it’s the thing that we just let the a drift because the alternative would be to have rules for that shit which we interpret as being like a horrible idea because of the culture that would come from where there were a lot of rules for that shit
so what do we do how do we combat that without going hierarchical without going into having a pendulum swing back the only answers just communication it’s just a club it say it everybody saying when you hear something when you see something then like we have to like figure out how we actually feel about it because when we keep talking to each other about it like we keep we keep doing wrong as it were created like a a culture for instance to use the woman’s thing that is going on right now that culture of silence and that we can contribute without even knowing it so how many times I mean it like we don’t have to play some weird confession game but like how complicit do you feel
like when you see that stuff you got like yet you know what yeah I just frustrating because I look back at high school and and where we were nobody sits down and tells you how to interact with people you know men women you know young old they don’t sit you down and you you’re just kind of thrown into the woods and you got to figure it out on your own and so you get like all these beta males who are you know like weaker or not as confident and then they did get into these positions of power and they still don’t know how to deal with people and they don’t know how to deal with you I’ve been sick and I’m seeing for myself you sync as a nerd that that there’s like this mythology or following from our generation let’s be specific about that landed speaking for myself is like like if you’re a nerd then you can compensate you can become the jock of having a beer
nerd with power with money with something offer that’s what happened with Weinstein gets translated into sex somewhere in your workflow unless you’re blessed enough to be like neurologically asexual like if you if if if a it somehow gets tide in because there’s no conversation about where I have abused my power Dynamic at work I I I didn’t know I was doing it when I did it I I didn’t I never took notice that I never thought to myself until after the whole thing happen and I looked back and was like why was that such a relative disaster because if you have a crush on someone that works for you
you are not it’s not the same as having a crush on someone at a library or a bar that doesn’t work for you you fucking idiot but I don’t like that is happening on every block in every and then in our industry looks like because you get it like we’re not we’re not going like okay I have a crush on Stacy I wonder if I should I bet if I should just see if she wants to go to that thing or whatever and you’re not so who’s going to stop and ask himself really giving Stacy the opportunity to not be interested in going to see a movie with me and also continuing to know whether or not she’s good at being a writer or whether cigarettes and you don’t like there is no there was no but you’re going on Batman the ride sign and line that I waited in a documentation
I found I got that into my head by doing it wrong but I did it wrong and I’m really ashamed of it when I look back on it fortunately for me I’m not like like I I I like I like I never I never did anything and then it doesn’t matter if it’s a problem exists on the root level of your brain is like what if you could have done something what if you could have gotten your way you could have even a few more out of you only know at the time like that you what you want and then we’re heading you’re used to thinking of yourself as an underdog and you got like well I like that in the movies in the TV shows it’s like the guy that uses everything he’s got going for him to turn things around with a special lady It’s like because you don’t play sports you’re not going to let you know I’m not going to be a date rapist because I’m the underdog I’m the I’m the guy that
wearing a polo shirt
so I’m not I’m not lecturing anybody watching or listening, I’m talking to myself I just want I was eager to when we saw that Terry Crews thing on Twitter like I like it like I fucking like I’m in I’m in a post Terry Crews 6 tweet thread Harmon Soul at and it’s not because of what it’s died because of what I realized about myself when I read that thing because I read through it and Terry Crews is a gigantic physically fit like a Charming Alpha Beyond Alpha dude who is just saying one time I went to a party and my drunk boss came up to me and grab my nuts and there was nothing I could do about it and I was all bummed out and I froze and then I was like what the fuk was that in my wife was like don’t do anything about it because if you do what what do you gain versus what do you lose blah blah blah.
Ted Cruz hit his point was he froze and was like like that end in that it happened so his point was if I can be a victim at now are you listening and a point well taken but the the reason why I am shattered to the core by that story is because I read it and the entire time I’m reading it I’m going no way like I want to read that differently that’s the important thing is that I’m going like I’m reading the Terry Crews think I’m going no way that’s and if and then realizing that why is that story
like is it more believable to me it’s let it’s less believable narratively which makes it for good storytelling no way Jack the Beanstalk wow no way Terry Crews got got sexually assaulted as a simultaneous expression of disbelief and I’m I’m all over it and I’m so invested and I like awesome like not awesome that it happened but no way are you fucking kidding me when we expressed incredulity skepticism and I was like wait how is this different from is like I don’t know how I caught myself but imagining that any woman any woman 240 lb the black muscle-bound woman doesn’t really matter like like like I don’t think I just figuring just okay change his gender just changed Terry Crews to a woman
and I was like I am rattling with the realization that there was like a clear difference for me that that when a woman when I hear about a woman being like having this crazy shit happened to her
I have some kind of like forcefield that it just needs to fill a checkpoint it’s just there’s no big deal I just need to see your ID before you get on the plane that’s no big deal I can get on a plane there’s a fucking checkpoint there that I saw where I was like it wasn’t placed their consciously I do not choose I was not choosing I never chose I never knew that’s why I was shocked to the fucking core cuz I was like what the fuck is your problem and then I found it I found it less believable or a woman tell me a story we do in the past when a woman has told me a story whether it’s not when she’s coming to me as an employer and say whatever when it gets official and all that stuff equally important conversation about what we do in the workplace. Stuff I’m talking about when a woman is confiding in you
that some something insane happened to her
at the hands of a predator in the moment Solis II Terry Cruise’s stories 3 and 1/2 seconds long really 6 tweets 3 and 1/2 seconds drunk boss in the middle of everyone that that I’ve assumed I pictured on a dance floor it really doesn’t matter it’s partly that but anyways but like like these stories like I in my had I look back over my whole life and I it’s not it’s not as simple as I believe women less it’s I think the irony is that has something to do with this chivalry you’re in charge that’s why they’re telling you in the first place you’re you’re you’re you have to decide when Terry Crews tells me I grab his nuts at a party I don’t have to decide what to do about it I don’t have to I’m not in charge of whether it’s true so I just fucking believe it and my immediate reaction is well let’s not work with that guy ever again
I look back at through my life and I realizing that like women saying like you know that guy on the corner not work-related like whatever your neighbor or this this happen to me or that weiner at that restaurant where we were getting scrambled eggs then he said this or that and I have the same verbal outward reaction so no one can police it I go no way but I when I read the Terry Crews day I was like I saw like I don’t care if you call it a nanometer or a millimeter or a foot or 20 yards a difference I have a different setting I think it’s because we’re supposed to be Cowboys I like like like like where is what it like okay now Stacy know till now just just give me one second to take that in that thing that you’re saying because if I go up to Arnold the Grand Buffet punch him out
but you’re already in this like Fonzie mode of like now who are you trying to use my van Zee strengths to your going to do anything anyway yeah but like your brain is like my brain has been wired what happened with nothing
all right well anyways that that that that when a guy says I was just happened to be your wow and you don’t feel responsible if a woman says something to you like I used to get my now I want me to be sure because I got I don’t want to I don’t want to get interact with somebody I know I’m not good at what age is it all becomes like this hurts me when prices happen if somebody else is like to know just believe me and and comfort me and it’s like as not asking you to do anything to women when they would go
thank you that is look I’m not if you’re watching and listening I’m not I’m not preaching to you you’re more than me I think that like like we have to if you’re listening to me like like start like nothing bad can happen to you I am not going to be taken up to an electric chair in a mountain tomorrow I’m not going to be exposed in the mail Gibsonia in what I am however confessing to you that look like something that is fundamental to all of this that like the more innocent you are of any crime at all the more important it is that you have this conversation with yourself right you know this week like because I’m saying that to you the same way I would say cut out carbs are fucking like drink glass or something like that I had discovered like like I think this is the time and it is now
not because I know better than you it is because I like I’m going like shit you guys like like like wheat we have the capacity to do things that we don’t know where do it and and we like we are going to benefit as brothers we’re not going to be less masculine and we’re not going to be less cool and we’re not going to make less of a paycheck like there will be no real-world consequences even amongst each other if we if we pushed toward it being fashionable to not create a divider in between the conversations that we have with ourselves each other and end with women at the girls camp and it’s very fun the idea like I did with that comes panty raids and
which is a possible broken into our place and started going through her personal items and taking them away from us
end and we don’t we can’t do anything about it but here’s the logic circuit that gets triggered in you when we when we talk about the stuff cuz I know it gets bigger to me it it it’s like oh what are you suggesting what are you proposing what are we supposed to do so I’m supposed to do this but if we do that but if everyone does this but what about that stop like it is not there is no invitation here and no command and no lecture it is a tag Cloud it is tagging something and becoming more aware of it making it more organizable I myself Dan Harmon with no expectation of anyone else a no prediction of of of what will happen and with no observation about how Society works and I feel like from my pool of one here with my best friend that we’re all in it right now like I am saying is one of you having that conversation is it had
like like like all we have to do first is is is go back over our whole fucking life and never have to put it in a journal if you don’t have you don’t have to call anybody and say you’re sorry you do just but you there will be no Welch on this after you agreed to do it just open your panel if you’re over 30 go back go back to its like 10 or 8 and just kind of just have to do that you’re not coming you know that these fucking moments have charged to them your moments with women your relationship to the moment of your conquest of the moment of your defeat the moment of when you realize so-and-so was a bitch the moment you realize is that you didn’t want this what you prefer that and your kind of into that any any moments that are charged with sexuality pop a back over to them they’re like marked on your little Syfy
they’re marked with fucking their marks and go back to him and just end just it just relive them and end and say man if I did that right now in front of me I would say to me okay Hey listen that’s not fair or whatever you’d say like he was when he hears what your current me shouldn’t be saying you piece of shit you fucking jerk-off you don’t know the rules you piece of shit fuck you. Don’t you know fucking chicks like it this way now like that guy is not a hero like I’m saying your real self that’s like roof talk I didn’t know I didn’t know I was I didn’t know I wouldn’t know what I was doing to look at it and you go how could I not know how could you not know that that was wrong it’s just you know it’s it’s it’s very similar to what I went through with just stopping me you know the click in your head and even just forget it
like like forget about the word wrong because it that it’s like crates is dichotomy and like there’s a perfect way to be I’m saying that. So it’s like what what was your meeting you’re not running around telling everybody not to eat meat but it’s hard but I want to it but well but but your live by example and you express yourself and you go like I didn’t eat meat today whatever the fuck you don’t like run around and get people on the head with a brick and I’m just saying that that’s not my point of I know I know I know Cindy Evangelical but you’re not a meeting if it’s okay like
awareness that’s where I’m starting I’m embarrassed of 44 I’ve spent a really long time thinking about women as being a huge portion of that time has been my feminist
face which just means that I’ve recognized that there’s a different protocol like a but the entire time was like there’s a division sometimes it’s a it’s a wall over which I’m handing care packages sometimes it’s a wall over back in my twenties I’m lobbying like m-80s over it and dead frogs to get a screen and then it’s like I’m drilling a hole in it because I’m a hero this wall should come down I don’t like there’s a wall there like II has been there forever like and it’s a it’s like I’m sorry about that I feel remorse for that and I’m like I’m trying to like like like they notice when I like
when I’m saying shit because it’s the easy thing to say and when and went and went with it because it’s the next thing that you should say and when and when is the next thing you should say in order to keep your job or make yourself more comfortable or feel good or other stuff like a 1/8
if it’s it’s it’s time to just sort of starts thinking ergonomically about that stuff and you guys are 25 like to Spencer and leave your sitting here looks okay 3225 how old are you guys alright alright it turns out women are people now know I don’t know i r o d smug will any ill that was a that was a way you wanted to talk for 40 minutes when I get back to just socialization and you know through the through the decades the American way it was like women stay in the kitchen and they raise a kid soon

are essentially I guess this is what it is and then anybody in this River anybody would be easy to get like the idea that I think Erin’s trying to take my like conservative grandmother for instance like she’s cool with like everyone getting work in whatever bugs are named Judy Judy Judy Judy Levi sorry you probably didn’t want to write this weekend when it went to college just to get married and she was like that’s not sure I I got a really great education it just so happens that was a place that most women
Mad Men Who got married and then ultimately didn’t pursue work with just the idea that like my grandfather in his head is like yeah well women just that’s the only reason they were going to college I don’t know it’s just like those conversations I I like those are then then we’re in this ditch of like unsolved ability and all the stuff I think I’m not I’m not pooping on what you’re expressing I’m like I’m yes and again going yet this is the thing that likes to Strack’s us is the is the conversations about how Society works like a nuts-and-bolts way like how far are you into a conversation about being conscious of other people before it immediately gets like it’s like two two sentences before you talking about who opens the car door and who pays for the for dinner and Wheaton minimum wage and end and all the stuff that we’ve actually like everything in a giant knot and forward
this particular type of conversation changes that conversation and let you know this is such a trying time that I think that it’s hurting certain areas and I think that you know hopefully this
we move forward and it’s an end things uncomfortable people avoid it and they go out of that I don’t want to hear it it’s fine the way it is as big as my whole life oh God oh God you’re wrong did you hear did you hear what he said he said he’s wrong you’re wrong you’re wrong you got this run you use the wrong word use the wrong thing and like that’s the other thing that we took sick of hearing about how we forgot the Rust Belt and everyone not see the white house because apparently some fucking redneck somewhere got tired of being ignored everything we do is wrong we both were wrong for for being right too much where it was wrong but like I just like a fucking like I’m I’m 44 and I’m like I’m wrong about everything I’m always wrong and it’s like like isn’t that a good luck if you woke up and said like I’m wrong I’m going to be wrong today and I’m still I was wrong yesterday I’m doing wrong more today at like like why is it that when a woman comes into my
wrongness and says maybe this at looks like I have an increased tendency to go like why I don’t know about that but I’m saying I’m wrong fucking shoes and I have like like shit that I need to like like grease and loosen and Pull Apart as you want to ask a woman ask a woman I don’t want to have to learn anything no and I think there’s a hippie counterculture introduce this concept we’re like no one to anyone says is true and anyone that anyone tells you is the establishment trying to force a new a Gemini on you and that open the door for basically saying that anything that science anything that anyone is told you is fact is biased in is trying to sell you something which kind of open up the door for what we understand to be hippie stuff you know yoga meditation crystals sex Cults like all this stuff kind of grew out of alternative non-scientific ways of trying to understand the world and it kind of games
demon power and I became this countercultural thing and that grew into like there’s bodies of facts to support any position and there’s a book on this in a book on ghosts and then it kind of gives the idea that completely non-scientific kind of non-intellectual things can have the auspices of intellectuality. Kind of the responsible credibility of something that’s real and that kind of created a world where people can feel comfortable just being right all the time and creating new systems that create ways but they’re right and so everyone’s kind ensconce themselves in these silos of thinking that have kind of just existed concurrently and not ever butted into each other because the feeling of being wrong means that you can’t charge for charge anyone money to be wrong you can charge if somebody wanted to be right and ending its American to you you got like like like like like there’s no reward for saying I don’t know I don’t know I got that wrong I don’t know
thinking like the Middle East people will get a lot more mad and get into arguments in another countries people be more comfortable and stuff like that but I think specifically in America we have this discomfort with with really butting up against keep on having these outward political debates I mean until very recently because it’s kind of exploded that is my nightmare to be stupid in to be wrong and we talking out my ass and all the stuff like I want to go back and I want to start this podcast over again I was a fucking babbling idiot like you don’t want to listen to it I’ll try better next week but like if I am already wrong I’m wrong so then what do you do like you like my therapist to say it’s time that I explain this I’m not making any sense like where it’s like here’s how I perceive the world working when a human being like walks around in okay so I’m going to walk
yeah alright so say something to me how you doing so I just heard the words either sir how you doing is a guy that those facts went into my my pad and now I’ve envisioned him is going down a pipe through my face down my neck and then at my chest level above my solar plexus but right right at the top right bulb between my neck and right like right between my nipples there is a there is a like a box that’s a square box that all the information for my ears and eyes goes into and this is the first stop that it goes into and it’s like it’s it’s I don’t know I’m scared to call it Society or it’s just like Friday and I think maybe if it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s experience the super-ego
Norm’s is it is it is a choice award processing the programming that you have assembled because they’re probably isn’t some psychological level the equivalent of a metabolism and it probably save time and not have to think about a bunch of shit list at bias to not have to learn to tie your shoes or any morning to not have to wonder what is realize that it used to be trees but so you can continue making your deck you have to go I guess I’m making that sound like Amnesia but anyways it’s the shit that you’ve you’ve you’ve you’ve accepted as fact right and like we are so Advanced now that that information if you’re living in a city and someone comes up to you and says Rob just said hello it goes into a box and like horse there’s a hello back like that’s like the first thing in there there’s a million things
Stan whatever you’re perceiving most importantly it never I feel like I have arranged in my body that box is above another optional box which has to do with me like learning shit where I am like vulnerable where I am wondering what’s going on the the baby the the guy that’s like why don’t know so let’s find out what the fuck is that what’s going on with that and we have like I I’m using my I statements like I have such a hard time getting to that person like like the shoe box of fucking options up here is so like there’s getting to the person that said hey how are you doing today getting to the NPR headline headline about 78 people getting shot in a mass shooting it could be some of my friends saying I’ve just turned vegan I do want to eat meat anymore
it’s it’s cruel I could be someone saying I’m Muslim it could be someone saying your friend Glenn just sexually harassed me at the carnival last night and you’re still friends with him and it hurts my feelings it could be did you watch Big Bang Theory I could be here is how do you install a backsplash for your sink any information that comes into you like it it everything all of your experience I’m just saying I I I I think there are two boxes I think that I’m an unconscious person will I think that that second box is like maybe like core values and beliefs and stuff that kind of form I don’t know like our religiosity are you know attitudes towards Authority and like that really forms our core identity but that is definitely part of knowing traffic laws and piracy it is that stuff is important but that stuff isn’t who we truly are so like I definitely think there are these two two kinds of things that we can done one of them is mostly unconscious I think we
that one neural up Scientologist lady on and she was talking about implicit bias but I think comes a lot from our perspective just when we were growing up you know our privilege and stuff like that’s all just form from these cool understand that come from males are going to be way different than the court routes from like a black you know girl growing up in a neighborhood with you no police presence all the time so it just kind of kind of but you can change it I think it’s just a lot harder because they are these core values that we recognize our important to our sense of identity and I think we’re in a world that like figuring out our identity and what side we’re on and whether were cool with that or whatever is becoming something that maybe media our culture is kind of hyper hyper eisinger kind of whipping into a froth weaponizing probably for marketing purposes but it’s like becoming more of a thing where you at
how to pick a site where they don’t think you used to use the field was like oh well how about that. Wow it’s like I’m okay with that I’m not going to be okay with that should I be okay with that I think I’m okay with that unless someone has any reason why I shouldn’t be and I think it just does like more Primetime either accept or reject traditionally the older you get the more you get set in your ways and you know there’s a hundred stand up references to like the the forwards to get from your your uncle or or your parents seeing all this racist stuff or what a class is David Icke it’s just because that’s how they were raised in there not learning but what you’re going through Dan and what what I’m going through and what it seems like the world our generation is going through his we’re kind of leans back and going we were wrong. But I know you don’t want to say wrong with a c in the way I can I look back
yeah there was a time where I was like no women are the enemy and they deserve it and I’m going to be on the guy side because women judge me and say yes or no to me and anybody in a position of power is got to be evil so they deserve most of my life because I’m the I’m the underdog I don’t deserve this and why can’t it be easier for me and that’s my fault that it’s and it’s shity and I ask because of how many ways did you fucking bother to second-guess the system when they told you not to be as into Jackie Chan bootleg when they told you Dungeons & Dragons wasn’t cool when they choose which which area of beating them sometimes manages right it’s just avoiding the truth but the other side of that is like that as soon as I start saying that I know cuz I was like what are you saying like
anybody anything you don’t you don’t know who’s going to take your pants you know there’s you’re not going to lose any trail mix there’s not going to be any less teeth under your pillow tomorrow that’s that’s how were used to processing things like someone’s coming for my fucking shit so if you if you let that guy spit on you at recess tomorrow you know and you don’t do something about it like he’s going to spit on you twice as much as he spits on Toby Richards cuz Toby Richards you know what he did he fucking kicked him in the nuts he’s still got his ass kicked but you think it’s been on any more I like logic logic logic logic logic slippery slope hierarchy
Dan when did you pack a stop being funny when your mama sucking slept on my giant knob I already warned you about this okay I just want to address that one more time Boys in my head I just say I understand I spent the weekend inadvertently going through YouTube clips of like when my podcast is really funny a lot of times Rob’s on when that happening so I thought I’d invite him back tonight but I’m really really
doing that I don’t I try I try to all I can tell you is like like I would like the funny the funny is happening at it at that I’m not losing my mind and we’re not losing your mind when was it when there’s not shit going on it’s just like you know me just marking these occasions you can click on this when you go to bed
Ethan was doing but anyways about Rose a AKA Joan of Arc right now cuz this is awesome thing happening which president elected that end in a way that really bummed out because leading up to that the accepted thing as a Twitter couldn’t accomplish anything real and it was right that he changed it to get like fact whether you use that term like literally or not but like for it to be unfairly or not for it to be used as a real world tool to just effect real change for the bad guys was like really demoralizing especially for people like me who grew up on the Internet we thought we created as a place to hide from a really awful people asterisk
per our earlier conversation with finding out the entire time we were all so awful people cuz we fantasize about being Han Solo’s a piece of shit to let it even though it’s like I’m kind of like nice book into this thing because now where this is the this is the second time since the election of that the parasite that what’s happening on Twitter as soon as I mentioned it to my therapist she knows what I’m talking about and shipped happening there’s a court of public opinion that got leveraged on Twitter that was used to create real-world results that I like heads rolled down the physical Street with the potatoes that wasn’t like cancel Colbert nothing happens because first of all what are you doing second of all that blah blah blah double the world just continuing to like circulate while Twitter acts like there’s something that can be done it was like this feels like
exhilarating but the funny thing about it is that it feels exhilarating in a way that feels like the fire is outside my front porch did she get was their Twitter account like that is it back I mean I hate you but I assume it’s back there I haven’t read I haven’t read it. Just say one thing as long as I’m not being funny like to the extreme like there was a recent thing that just happened that I was hearing about like while getting ready to take my girlfriend’s dad to dinner which was like she said something that is it across racial lines and she was trying to reach for an allegory to help whatever and then there was black Bubba blowback flashback white back black black like black flashbacks of the of the click clack it like like they did it exploded it’s a fucked-up like
you hearing about it is one of the like like like 15 years like like we keep on like like cool shift starts happening and then like the bad guys don’t they don’t have this
they don’t have this obstacle in their path where everything like like we’re like we we hold we hold our far are people who are who are helping us like and making us have conversations like we hold them to the to the standard of as if they’re supposed to be some kind of like historical figure that gets everything right or it ended in the standard for ignoring leaders has become so did we then find out they’re not perfectly well the bad guys say they’re just beating us because they don’t have that standard they don’t care you can be a republican that does not believe at all in Mexicans being rapists and just wants to gain financially and you can you can belong to a party where you go I like you but I don’t I don’t I don’t care that you said that
who gives a shit I want my money and I’m going to get my money by pretending I don’t give a shit what he says and the good guys are like fucking 8 yes down with the patriarchy like let’s do this one thing and then and then we have that hero worship saying
I can’t you just can’t you give a woman that’s too that that that stands up for a second a fucking break look like when they’re not happened so quickly it’s always going to happen it’s always going to happen quickly always going to be tender and fucking like that’s an app that actual thing that we used to start fires there’s always going to be and I was going to be treated a link to a thing and I don’t know who wrote it I like that says like I was a years ago and the article’s headline was admitted your fave is problematic which and I was like what is that gibberish I read the articles like saying
if you keep holding your the people you admire to the 2222 a standard of political minute-to-minute like Perfection like dick than your your fucking dumb I mean I’d say it’s the FBI monitored Martin Luther King to make sure as they they’re like oh man admitted that gets a blow jobs and like then we don’t have to care about black people anymore is that fair and it was that that’s what we’re doing to each other now when we when we when we leave we just we just have to like, he’s loose in the fucking why am I why am I calling the action there’s nothing that a biomass into this is the sad side effects of depression to it’s like that’s what the system does is that pits the other small dogs against each other and then tells them that that’s what they should be doing otherwise they don’t have the moral authority to overthrow real oppressors killing people and robbing families you know I mean I’m not saying
you’re on to bring it up it’s just like that is a that’s a part of the system and it’s fucked up if you if you were to draw gender line only because one gender has privilege like a college student 1992 women uniting without doing it in a cigar smoke filled room because why would it happen there how would it happen there if you’re in a handmaid’s tale where are you going to meet us at the produce aisle you at you ain’t got no fucking Freemason Lodge that the unprivileged movements have the total of disadvantage of being open source all right and trolls and hecklers and people that just would like. If it’s if it’s a movement worth its salt if it’s good honest people that are like well we don’t have anything to hide so I’m going to meet in a fucking catacomb and plot the destruction of something
that should get me the electric chair I’m going to like this is a movement that’s going to catch fire among the people and it’s like but we live in this flame retardant Universe it’s so unfair you going to go women are the women are saying their hashtagging this or that and then it’s like oh well that that should put a pretty high premium on dividing them amongst each other and and that’ll go to ship pretty quick and then we can start laughing I got like a cheese I wonder how come you guys don’t have rights sure can’t get along with each other I mean while I’m not off to my men’s meeting like I don’t like men and I can say that nothing will happen to me when men are dumb
hey I eat a what I don’t like that kind of man that’s like when he’s that that that’s like all about selling himself sexually I think I think I think that person should be ashamed of himself like I’m not going to suffer if I can blow back for that there’s no in some men’s like it and it’s because like we don’t care also not fare so well if it’s an awesome like Rose McGowan like
I realize I work bag like I would act if the thing that they catching fire is that she’s fucking taken no Guff you don’t like I like like like you see all the old-timers like her pipe it up and they’re going like a it’s like you got like 20 years out from being that tone deaf so busy give it time to process for this shows too but I think it was it would be a shame yes if you would think he would know the room better than anybody but he like what if somebody like said hey
looks like you’re enjoying your coffee what do you think about all this crazy stuff no comment leave me alone I’m old and it’s done feel like
that’s that is totally possible that somebody literally like like just said that much and that he and that night like his quote would that the one that I heard which is like I hope it doesn’t turn into a Witch Hunt if you plaster it on the on Times Square in a scroll and it feels like he issued a press release is like like like or is it it could also be him getting into a cab and going I don’t want to die. Hope it doesn’t need is for that to check it didn’t sound like something he was saying on the way to the car like I don’t want it didn’t sound like
I don’t really want to talk about this I know you want to come in from me I mean he could have easily said it’s awful I wish it didn’t happen and then go away and put both of his feet in and I just was like you reading what did you think was going you are whether you think you did it or didn’t do what you did you know what people of the public probably thinks about you right now so but but but but but we don’t Rose let’s just get on a first-name basis with her so I stopped
the singer last name whatever like it like really every fucking tweet has to be on fucking point and end like
if we’re going to win that game if we play the game of does everybody have to say everything right and that’s exactly I know how confusing that can be for people cuz we’re talking about like fucking like don’t take this shit anymore don’t take anybody fixed it and language they’re going to they’re going to say that’s the way things work at all this stuff and like so yeah you know what I’m hearing myself say it out loud like pirouetting back till like what the fuck am I why is my impulse to explain let me take another run at that and do it the way that’s healthy when I heard that Rose McGowan was catching shit because she made it or didn’t like put your toe over a foul line on the on whatever bowling lane you perceive it bums me out because I it makes me feel like we will never gain traction organically that we will create a world in which the
only way to change things and nnn accumulate power is to do so artificially and therefore reduce the risk of infraction along the way but do you think do you think with
with with something like when when Rose starts saying something and yes she’s abrasive but she’s angry and she wants to be listen to so of course she’s a very passionate about the stuff that happened to her and so whatever n n Twitter locks are down I mean doesn’t it seem like that’s a fear-based thing like no we got is a prisoner’s running for the wall you know yet every every guard is going to start shooting at it because we can’t let that one prisoner get over the fence but all these other prisoners they’re just like they’re not going to be there just if you just stay inside the prison and don’t run right right now yeah the way I’m saying like it is is like because pushing this stuff I don’t know I guess when I say we will when when the world is like pushing the stuff down
it’s like no we don’t want to change we don’t want to be told where wrong you’re wrong and I guess that it is harder for revolutionaries to say anything that affects people yes I got to do that I said like so parabolically stacked against people and so then do I putting it is is is happening that drives the initiative change is the blood of Martyrs because there was making before it’s like the generation our parents have never been more at least from my point of view have never been more double down and dug into no no no yeah he didn’t do anything worse than Clinton and I love our president and he’s into Jesus Christ and and and I just ignore all these horrible things that he does because he’s
better than Hillary the murderer Hillary who pizzagate Hillary she better than that and we’re going to be rich someday just like him and he’s one of us so I’m going to ignore all that but like you and I like right now I like at our age I mean we’re going through like changes are coming that I know that I’m not saying that we’re better than anybody but I think the one good thing about like the Social Media stuff from me just in terms of like what’s happening now in my how I feel about like eating meat and and and not an animal rights and things like that and just people rights and and just being good and it’s I think that that’s the one thing that I think is good is that like our age when we should be digging in and saying no I wasn’t we’re still changing and it all
I’m trying to put a positive right right right now that’s a good yeah that’s that’s that’s better than nothing I also yeah I want but I know how do you change the world like your parents in my parents like like like when I was I was I was at an image in my head we were talking about that talking about like when we talked to our parents in like how they talk about like whoa you know what are you giving you get a sense of where they’re at politically but my mom’s talking well she probably would want me to expose her but she is
my mom’s on fucking point my mom’s my mom is like like crazy like like she’s like she’s down to clown on the on the left but I think she’s kind of like I don’t want to I don’t know. Politically I don’t know what’s going on in your house I don’t know if her my dad are fighting or what’s going on I don’t want to I don’t want to ruin my family with my mouth I do I want to let them have their lives but when talking about our parents is important because you a picture like these like like like brick Brax like like I picture your mom talking about politics in your dad is like that the Ender Ender like in this like Midwestern house and there’s like little porcelain birds and there’s these things that you grew up around a tree like who buys a porcelain bird and and the answer is someone has got their fit together but the whole time now that you and I are their age when they were talking to us
I’ll speak for myself if they like now I have a house and even though it doesn’t have a little porcelain birds in it there’s some equivalent of it that’s like a connection that I have to like do this could all go away yeah and I think that it was hard for us to understand when we think about our parents in the midwest in their little tract houses with their porcelain birds and their and their Cuisinart on there and everything is working great and then when they talk about it needs to be like this it doesn’t need to be like that like part of part of how it’s easy to climb them is because it seems so clear looking at them that they have nothing to worry about what kind of what kind of world do you live in Mexicans don’t get into Wisconsin and it wasn’t and affect your plans to watch CSI Miami tomorrow night or whatever like we laugh at them because we go yeah but you’re not in the real world because we’re young City kids but we’re young City kids are not turning 45 and we’re
I own my own home and for me I’m like like I now have time to stations of Duncan Trussell he comes back from burning man and he starts laying
I don’t like I don’t like 5 years ago I’d be like yeah you got to let it go let’s do it next Wednesday and see what it looked like Obama as President so let’s talk about how properties fast and I’ll fucking out I’ll blow your mind more than you could blow mine now for real like I have a job and I have a five-bedroom house and he comes on but I got his bike as in he’s like why don’t you just let some people hang out here man I can’t do that I had I had a whole conversation with her where I was like that. My parents are worried I just took everybody’s I mean people are worried about being taken it out of like just being get you the other day it’s like the Judge Reinhold Fast Times Ridgemont High thing but that’s that’s the thing like whenever anybody calls you privileged or it’s a
what times will hang on by a thread this model at the Judge Reinhold you still dressed in his fucking pirate in fast food. But she said sorry but it’s time to enroll in a college like like I don’t know where you’ve been with up the party’s over and he’s like you’ve just watched him the whole movie like just delivered fast food and he’s like I don’t know he does some Mini model like back that’s like fuck you that when did the party start at whatever is how somebody that you wouldn’t believe you’re like you with your porcelain birds why are you talking about Liberty why are you talking about anyting Richland birds like their sheep you get him at Home Depot if you already own them you’re not buying anything you’re watching it at fucking television with America playing across it you’re almost dead you save for your medical bills now they’re going to shoot him into you by blah blah blah blah like we look at I look at older people that I judge them like I got why are they why do they have so much control over what’s going on
I get the feeling lately like 25 year olds see me that way that they that they think that they’re looking at what I have is more permanent than I am looking at it I feel like I am 5 minutes from depending on which way the wind blows one committee or another dressed in one color jumpsuit or another coming up to my door and saying like you didn’t hear in this house you don’t you don’t get to have this this is we’re changing the name of this state where you you ate you we we just found your name on a Google list that like a we didn’t know you were into feet like that’s that’s that’s a sign of of Isis now whether it was right wing wing West Wing or or young Sheldon whatever hit show live constantly going like they’re going to come get me I think
I feel that way and that’s why your parents feel that way I’m sure they do feel that way you know every email from my relatives for is like when Obama was President you look what these people are doing you know we’re going to have to work hard and we’re going to have to pay for some lazy poor person their medical bills why should we do that do you know that and it’s they’re worried that they’re going to be taking advantage of their stuff being taken away there are birds are going to be taken away nobody wants your fucking Birds it’s just it’s crazy because my parents and my family are so religious they go to church like three times a week and it’s one book you know what haven’t you read it already what else are you going to find out new about the Bible
I just found some new discoveries found a couple new pages here and it looks like they are not as holy as we thought they had his fucking ass where it’s like 200 episodes of a podcast where they’re giving was they’re going to watch Grown Ups 2 free going through Star Wars one minute at a time the entire like Trilogy and end-all of the trilogy and there’s people still going to church every weekend and going to the big book and it’s okay. We’ll talk about this you’re like oh don’t my colleagues all are so I’m Joseph Campbell so I’ll stick up for Christianity but like the American like Midwestern Church
ridiculous pretending that we haven’t had the chance to look through that book from cover to cover I mean come on some parts are boring the Old Testament does a lot of begats like I’ve tried going through this thing it’s okay to say it’s a boring book it’s also owes you know that you haven’t read the whole thing you haven’t read that has huge boring parts that you could read an egg not I understand and then and then you go to a building and the guy said today we’re going to talk about why did I sing that doesn’t make any sense at all if you just read the word if you read the words is began in down in the bed of a bad nobody talks like that nobody you know nobody lives to be 500 and the cool ones are the ones that go like Jesus said just cuz it doesn’t make any sense what it is like a English teacher taking you through Macbeth Macbeth
do that for four years or 4 years and in high school and then you’re done with it and then maybe you’ll see the movie but every fucking week and really like Susie said like OK listen don’t be a dick to each other class dismiss to take the rest of the summer off don’t be an ass hole to each other we saw Jesus Christ Superstar like when we were like in our twenties and like I got really into it I was like damn it man this is a great musical like I love these songs now and then because the song sounded so good I like I started watching were Discovery Channel shows about Jesus and reading the stuff that Campbell said about Jesus and like I still haven’t really gotten cover to cover to the New Testament but I feel like I know Jesus a little bit better than a lot of people to get paid a lot of money to say they know Jesus and that’s the reason why I think because it’s not a complicated
there’s a lot of room for exploration in constant talk about it but it is pretty much die-hard except instead of being afraid to fly he’s sort of afraid to die and the nakatomi plaza is is The Sermon on the Mount
sure I had I don’t know I don’t know the Bible or just for the same reason is you is because I do encounter a lot of Christian since like I know more about the Bible than you and shouldn’t I not know more about that because they’re not actually sitting in there. If you go to church every every Sunday and keep saying I believe in Jesus I believe in Jesus when you die you get to have ice cream forever and your favorite television show will play on a loop and you’ll see all of your old pets and your family and you’ll be able to hang out with Lincoln and heaven and stuff like that I keep in mind there’s a Muslim version of all the stuff that it’ll be laughing when someone tells you they read in a bubble gum wrapper that that’s what they believe you’re right and that’s why the light.
so is it the minute you say like well why don’t you why don’t you help the poor I mean because I mean isn’t didn’t God Jesus say do unto others as you would do unto yourself when you help when you’re giving 10% of your pay check to the church why isn’t the church full of homeless people during the other 6 days it’s not being used why why it doesn’t pay taxes why can’t you why is really can’t you give some of this money so we can all have a fordable because everybody gets sick everybody dies nobody wants to have their lease what is it shouldn’t you be going yes take all of our money where thing Jesus ever said was sell all your stuff and follow me know what no one likes talking about that
give up their fucking bird neither did the rich man he went away sad it’s really sad because I mean I did not do it I’m not I’m not I’m not killing anybody and I don’t care I don’t know if you guys have a third Testament where it’s at or like a microphone instead of a lot of our problems that we’re having like the idea that everything has a price seems to keep trickling sideways over into these stories we scratch our heads about where the cost of a bullet is less than the cost of killing a black child capitalism at its heart doesn’t end up getting us here and then we know that you meant that by you giving your house away and eating your own foot. I don’t know what I would like is for a guy to come up to Jesus in the New Testament and say hey
must be nice Son of God hey I never said I was asking about yeah I heard that you’re saying that you’re saying that I never said that but you are living a very rarified life right now yes I am what I do okay so what if he calls it like you sees it walk around and the answer is according to that book some people come up to you and say but I am the police officer what would you want me to do and you would say hey man what’s police what’s an officer and he would like drop his Spear and like I like freaked out and I’m not making fun of it like I I
do do fucking blows your mind you know why can’t the answer be I don’t know I have I’ve worked my whole life I’ve been told my whole life so cuz you didn’t like from the Christ why can’t the answer be hey man I’m not sure I don’t know I’m just trying to get by like everybody else I don’t answer it’s because it would be a decentralized hierarchical like modern compliant miss about all of you instead of a protagonist in the story has some dude that were supposed to like be like and if we’re not like him then we fucked up like that it is that it’s just a story as it was originally intended I would believe about what if you would have you just what if what if you give a mouse a cookie it’s the Millennials that you know is that like like this idea like like you know what happens if you wake up one day and you start causing it like you sees it you only live to about 33 and then they nail you to a piece of wood
David Bowie as I clicked you you you dye. Beach prostate cancer I don’t know what to tell you mad like like who else was crucified on goal against I like what who are these other people did they snatched purses were they also got him did they did they threaten ran out of the fate of Judas I don’t know what I look like like what I’m saying to you is yes it’s true it’s a very true if you were to start searching your conscious before you react if anything ever it’s true your path could be absolutely uncontrollably short you could end up out of work on Wednesday and under a bridge on Thursday and not intervention episode and you could just like the pile of bones in a sewer next to Tim Curry dressed as a clown floating and not but not even acknowledge in the final tally of who floats would say they all float exclude you I just want to make sure this is a nightmare scenario I don’t even want your bones and Tim Curry’s float catalog
but he says they all you’ll float too he’s not talking about you you’ll just be guilty as you’ll be bones you didn’t even know if he’s just starting out

you know I mean he’s just sorry Kimmy you know what I said earlier you’d float to I meant the Royal you get the second person hoping to get some others I got a couple of other kids that’s like what I’m call Sam says he wants you because I want you to meet ya might be if you have flat feet I just started out here what are you chilled or not depends largely on your message right your fear whatever you were afraid I would be afraid of floated it’s raining I’m getting pretty wet down here are you in my download you’ll float are you going I mean that figuratively. A litigated you’ll float too. I just I copper-red wrote the slogan I mean the second kid it’ll make sense but you can you just Patrick listener here couldn’t you have started like this and give me 90 minutes of this you have in the past very funny does riffing about it
if I wanted to listen to thoughts about your politically rambling rants about women I could have listened to
yes call that you were together with you or are you okay what’s the matter you said you you stop right there you said you were going to somebody and now you’re are you giggling or are you what are you doing it will all join me I don’t know I wanted to I don’t want to listen to another podcast you could and yet you’re here but I paid you right I’m Osama streaming subscriber
and you’re here well I expect better next week well guess what and what will what will what you’re going to get what you’re going to get is what you signed up for so you expect me to give you $5 a month in exchange mail whatever happens that’s what you signed up for ya have you guys noticed Spencer shorts are too short I don’t know they look at it could be as high quality clothes delivered directly
oh my God I was like wow that was smooth you dick I just wanted to do that we were going to play D&D we have the out that Jeff. Here’s one of the play the Indie and we could just wrap my question after a talking what we should respect women for 90 minutes
she’s really good at magic cards we don’t even have a good at magic I mean I was tired last night as I’d say I mean are you are you are you were saying the other week I want to play magic with your wife the next weekend I’m going to play magic with with Spencer and I was like well he won I’m not tired Kate the best I don’t know it’s weird usually when you teach someone to play Magic they follow a very slow progression that’s like and it’s it’s very frustrating to play with new magic players right because they they don’t seem to catch on very quickly she might like Zach is the other guy who’s good and then Ryan play with
surpassed the teacher that which Kate almost magical ability to find stuff and I think it’s because there’s cards and if you like Supernatural like she’s better at finding like keys and things well yeah but yeah I’ll go this happens like 5 times a day I’m going to be late for my meeting I can’t find my keys if I make it do you want me to help you find your keys No I can find my own Keys Kate
I can find my own keys where are my keys do you want meet ya the right here she always she can find anything she’s got excellent finding I hate it when I was married to be gassy so she’s the source of this or someone else has but she solved I didn’t I didn’t decide that this was a thing thanks cuz this is like the Declarations of but I heard a thing that I didn’t directly read about women being better scanners visually that that could have come from the pages Hustler I don’t know my mom said there’s male pattern blindness and that’s why guys can never find things and women can find him something about it I like I like the idea was I’m not pushing this forced to say I believed it of saying I found this in the bamboo forest of my mind because someone put it there it was a thing that came up at some point the idea that women
cuz I’ve experienced the exact same thing but with more than one like I like like we’re and then they get involved and then it’s immediate very quickly that it’s embarrassing cuz it’s like on a shoe and you like but that’s a shoe and the keys the idea was this is so counter to everything that we said that women can like RoboCop like snapshot in a second and they see everything at once I bet that’s got to be because that just feeds into the idea that they’re like Mercurio and I wish you would have never met the guy could do it to this degree and I think she’s also it doesn’t surprise me that she’s good at magic cards so she plays to win she plays to win. I don’t like games because it’s not I don’t like competition
I don’t play to win see I don’t mind losing I don’t have it in me to go I have to win right because I got if I lose fuck it it’s it’s how fun is this anyway but Kate is more know I’m winning but I like trying to trying to win but I don’t but I feel bad when if I’m playing a game like
like like where I feel like the other I can’t win because I actually feel bad for the other person like Cody taught me Connect Four and I was like you can’t win I can’t wait to next for me but but but but I also I’ve won a couple times that’s a bad example like cuz I did it keeps me just going like I’m going to fucking win that’s what I like I think it’s funny and fun to be like I want to win this is the most important thing in the world but only if it means that you might kind of maybe that she could believe you have to believe in it cuz I’m so bad at that I can’t really it’s like really kidding I’m not going to win Scrabble Master know that’s what a lot of people think that’s why I Pictionary Pictionary Pictionary Pictionary don’t ask me to play Pictionary because whenever somebody goes let’s play Pictionary
people got trapped on our team and I was like motherfuker I didn’t even say I was going to play you didn’t even ask you not even looking at me on my team could fuck yourself I’m going home fuck off fuck off the last time you used to say all the time you were like how long ago was that
I mean like but you’re not thinking about it you do right about writing utensil do you still hate Pictionary because the time limit
and and people are shouting at you and stuff I want to know if I’m going to draw something I wanted to be good and on my terms and I don’t want somebody to go what is that what is a cross answering cuz it’s just Shadows here in like that but I don’t even know couldn’t you make it simpler can you dumb it down because it’s it doesn’t have to be good I just need to know what it is why did you take so much time on the stem
just job just trying to help I just it’s just everybody gets all critical of you when I get out sucking draw anybody in this room have those both be true because I think no one would agree that that’s like an amazing Apple you’re driving but at the same time in the terms of the constraints of the game it probably is conducive to draw like a simpler apple right that’s why I hate Pictionary because I and so there should be a game that I can play that you don’t like
alright well I want I want I want to play I going to have to go out of airplane mode to do this but I want to play the Rick and Morty trailer of boy I do but at you know what I said I didn’t I heard that his name is Rick I know that’s already like well there’s no end to get well how would you do a trick to gay dudes and Morty it’s not tick in somebody’s pretty defined by okay and Lisa are not well I’ve seen that you’ve seen a porn with Bart and Lisa in it. Usually I didn’t know about that
animated rule 34 like no I’m talking about PornHub so we’re talking about the citizens would you think I meant pants am I going to live action pornos it’s like that’s not if you are if you do want to Bart Simpson you don’t want to see people painted in yellow by the office saying it’s like you’re not it’s not it’s not like cartoon Rick fucking cartoon it’s like weird porn actors painted up green and such green
you got to go get it really hit it now it’s not a new phone it’s a new Society on iPad there’s these new dad they always are trying to take your browser all over the place he can’t watch poor anymore I can’t find anything about online is no one else like you putting up against this there’s no one talking about it this is only happening to me now I do what I do I have a PornHub premium gas if you’re only has like one of those never does it but primarily use your iPad for yeah I think most people primary the Apple that was like it’s not you don’t want to talk about it but most the time it turns out that everyone uses their iPad for like that’s one of the main reasons people buy iPad for corned beef that’s a weird looking at photos
10.5 inch iPad Pro you can rub the corner on your nipple wouldn’t look at a photo of her I just wanted to find this video I just wanted to play the audio of the you know somebody’s already posted it I know of course they have at the internet I’m just saying I wanted to I wanted I wanted you to hear it’s okay you can search for driving two things I don’t know what their phones are vamping camp for VR you want me to Vamp about like do some talking or maybe rapping trying to talk I don’t want to wrap playing this I’m going to find it know you will but where is he, I mean really rock.
thinking leaving I think that’s great know it’s great but it’s like man eats like a muscle shirt that I was like I just thought that the speaker play through the garden
not whatever is the right way to do it but whatever happens movie painted blue-haired we can hear or I can hear it at least
yeah okay so echoey
oh man they’re taking shots things look like meth rocks
what up you left Unity comes through a portal
I’m pickle dick
I’m thick like that
show me trucks looking baby take my birth schedule
and maybe you should take a look in the mirror
terrible so I’m going in there there cuz it goes like yeah bad he’s talking about his daughter and sex
visual. Cheese’s five weeks from now 5 months without 5 years from now when I made it will I look back on these days when I considered it an innocent honor to express its like this is what in my this is what I have been working very surprised about your whole life Community for Rick and Morty portal because yeah it’s a it is a milestone there is no pornos version of the pamphlet you’re handing out door-to-door there’s no portal version of the dishes you washed there’s no portal version there is Porto versions of people if you if you if you permeate if you are infiltrate the collective unconscious to a certain degree and no it’s not that much it’s not a sign of Bravery or nobility or goodness it’s simply a really clear miles do that like I like the idea of a Porto version of a thing that you created
it’s like what we would always talk about with just like what you do creating icons and things like that is like if somebody could make a Halloween costume of your character you know it’s very simple if you got like these very simple shape blue hair spiky drool lab coat your Rick and Morty short yellow hair now making fuck you got a porno Friday easier it is the more likely it’s going to happen of course it needs to be popular to flattery’s I get to Europe if you’re a kid in high school and you decided I want to be the kid that puts on like I’m going to get these big thick-rimmed eyeglasses and you’re at the Stein Optical and if that exists in you get them a lot of people are giving me shit cuz now I am the person that has like manhole covers on their face I got these big giant glasses but then the day that like you fantasize about if you’re fantasizing about populaire
cultural like efficacy is like that that you’re a year it’s like so-and-so for class president and the end and the drawing of your logo silhouette thing is like there’s a big giant pair of glasses it’s like I did it there’s some kind of like local boy makes good like I’m in your I’m in your sex now like I I like I wish I was watching mr. Rogers on your TV and then I went out to Los Angeles and I made a thing and I hit the bell and I got the cookie and it came all the way back around that it’s like you’re masturbating to it now or it’s like yeah it’s being it’s it’s just it’s just like it’s cool it’s deeply deeply ingrained it didn’t better than me but I definitely will like like a couple years from now
I expect to learn that there’s some reason that I’m not looking at why that’s like somehow like as I’m recording at going like I’m so stoked about this this is so great how could this be wrong for anybody is this great if you don’t like it don’t watch it while it’s amazing and I’ll be looking at myself saying that you tell me you didn’t know that’s good that’s good that you’re not like oh years from now I’m going to be thinking the exact same thing I’m thinking now that I mean like I will. I’m saying like changing episode outside from forgive forgive the ignorant so they got it at a dead end and and B and admit your ignorance into a discussion to understand like when you’re in the Twitter argument don’t try to bury the other person and and if you if the person starts making you like realize out yeah maybe what I was
thinking was wrong be the bigger person and say yeah I guess you’re right I don’t know about you but every time the other person says that I’m always like I wanted like like with a few exceptions who was the first black revved me up so much better Mike but mostly would so as soon as somebody goes like you know what I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about like I don’t you do it kind of like drained the whole thing but anyways I think that’s I think that’s a natural thing because whenever you get into these arguments you want to bury the other person besides being right and it doesn’t make sense because we’re dumb people and not knowing shit is means that we’re about to learn something and we think that that means we’re about definitely taken from us and I’m speaking for myself and saying yeah that if you’re wrong you’re dumb and no one wants to be called but but what if you were smart now we just learned that you can be dumb and you could become in charge of all the nuclear weapons like so no one’s saying being dumb is bad
you could not know shit in like Run the World in fact you do so now everybody let’s be dumb which means you don’t already know what the fuck is going on so now you can be like sorry I don’t understand sorry about that I don’t get it I don’t know anyting that I’m talking about before you guys know I said LensCrafters know you said Steinhafels that you said you never said Steinhafels tonight I don’t think I did I think I have LensCrafters it’s anyway that’s not my point was going to ask is that a Milwaukee thing places you could buy glasses in Robin and his hometown
Steinhafels I thought I said one he thinks I said the other I guess you know what else was in her hometown and this is like this is the best song ever and when I’m done at my funeral even though I’m going to be cremated if you’re going to put me if you’re going to you know like Walter me and Joe might ashes I want you to play this song
well I’m well well well well whatever you do
good time it’s a world where are the film it so well but you can be whatever I can’t find the extended version online so I use your Gremlins to go out there and find out cuz I would kill for the full microvellum I know you were going to load that up in your phone quote you tied me up because you saying the wrong in your chair show I didn’t know for those listening I didn’t know he was going to pull that song out I’m just saying when I’m dead at the funeral which you know if you can make it make sure that that song place you know just to send them home that’s what I want I’m going to okay well I hope Kate’s keeping track has
is it recording at 2 but I sat in your living will is not in my living well I mean by ashes are going to be planted under a tree do you have the tree picked out
no are you got to do one of those lately lifepod things I’m thinking about doing that I’m thinking about it because I think that would be better than cuz I saw Neil Neil Degrassi so excited because you’re just you’re taking all your energy and your just spelled it into the solar system and they they don’t need that what do we want to do is bury ourselves into the ground man you know and the energy back be a part of the world yeah but I know this is so ill times but I did this is literally coming in over the fax I guess he hit he hits women
I’m kidding okay all right all right so I thought I wanted to hear you all right yeah it’s a tough time you say stuff like that how would you know I don’t think that’s true I don’t know how much is a joke inside milkshake. I don’t know is trying to make a joke and Shake whose milkshake. We didn’t go for a male probably for the best what did we learn
what why would you like what do you mean what what I don’t know I said hey can I bring Cade along and you said absolutely and then! Which is rare from you it’s because I needed a microphone living great so how you doing perceive that as a no you’re having a misunderstanding I literally thought you meant because it’s like popping in here to do this thing and then I thought you literally meant can you bring your wife with you as opposed to not being allowed to bring her with you like to come record the thing not can I bring her on the podcast a task should leave me sitting in this chair the entire time I would have said no rush but Kate in that chair because I made it in and have people that I don’t know
I’m giving light to the entire misunderstanding then I get I get it I get it I didn’t I figured I was like we’re going to have a woman on here that we’re going to tall like a sale with like point of view and questions or it’s going to be like dudes like talking about like our steak in it and to each other about it and that I and to that end I had texted like for instance Emily Gordon on a Hail Mary cuz I thought she’d be like whatever it is you and she was like yeah I’m out of town it’s like I’m plus where is she the York New York and why what day was that Saturday
sorry if anybody. I’m sure Kate wasn’t like gussied up and ready to go but they also feel bad if anybody thought I didn’t I didn’t mean to create that misunderstanding it’s fine I mean I mean I mean you know maybe apologize to Kate okay alright
all right I’m taking apologizing Spencer eating his ass if magic cards yeah we drown. Sorry Kate apology is an acknowledged this is what you said when you married us to
sorry Kate I’m sorry I have to do this to you. I was I didn’t I didn’t think it through that what Rob was saying when he said Can can’t come with it it makes sense to me now that’s like yeah of course you going to be spending two hours apart from Rob I wasn’t robbing Rob from their evening and I’m thinking like oh yeah he’s asking someone watch there a piece of glass while you watch me an idiot I mean if you could suck his own balls for an hour or two hours but but I’m sorry Kate I’m sorry to hear
I’m sorry to Linda Sheen Buckner fourth grade you played a Little Orphan Annie in my grade school’s production of Annie I don’t know why I decided I wanted to marry you I I was told that’s what love was you you’re what I should have I should have looked at it like you’re you’re a good singer. Should have been like I didn’t approach you but
I’m sorry to all my ex-girlfriends I got every time I’m sure when I like both in terms of the asking you out and then breaking up like I like him every step of the way like I’ve always been like I don’t know I’m just doing a lot of reviewing and I think that I think I’ve been a bad bad person because I think that I have thought of women differently I think I think the same thing about me and it’s I think it’s it it’s good to acknowledge and move forward because every little thing as soon as we’re all pall bearers of the same coffin and then just because there’s like one dude that’s like oh this guy climb the Empire State Building and came into of airplane and the airplane flew into the fucking Radio City Music Hall on a spectacle let’s make sure that never happens again well there’s something that’s it that I beat that that’s why I’m saying I’m sorry like I I don’t have like Braddock confessions to make
has like a like a lifetime of of of of of of stuff to acknowledge and kind of like try to neurologically remap moving forward where I’m like this person is on my team this person is for instance my lover they’re not that does nothing to do with like what their role is in the cosmos like they’re my lover their my partner this person is my worker like like like if they ate they make this for me they do that like I think I just like I think I’ve been thinking about and identifying people a ship for a while try to get over it I’ll try to do it right and I’m just going to do it wrong now and then I’m just going to die I’m 44 I’m almost 65 which is when everybody dies that is edited anyting
we don’t have a way to end the show and have not here he would like give me a beat
yo I’m grabbing it I just can’t do it don’t give anybody
cameras your microphone while you’re rapping about photographic
shingles
these are the credits all right thank you Chris brough Sarah Hill who’s it who’s it who do who do who do who do we think the other when we moved over here can you throw and apologize dog out of here get the dog out of here I’m going to be over the next 11 years bits and pieces here and there I’ll get really drunk and I got sorry I’m sorry Cody sorry Frank the crivello brothers
sorry Steve the world sorry sorry sorry to subscribers by Rose McGowan sorry going to end in 3 days 7 seconds in 14 hours in that order sorry America sorry sorry sorry what happened to your eye
you shot me when I ran over to the girl accidentally with my friend
how do we how do we how do we know what does it look like when you in these if it was we don’t know right that we just cut the feed you know resolve weekend but by you using your telepathy to make the jet engine go back to the universe supposed to be going to close the loop closes and then stay home and don’t let me finish and then
okay okay