Episode: 295 – Dadfished


Episode: 295 – Dadfished


“Great Minds with Dan Harmon” director Heath Cullens tells the tale of how he accidentally convinced Dan that he’s Dan’s father. Brandon Johnson is our comptroller and Steve Levy joins for a return to role playing. Featuring Dan Harmon, Brandon Johnso…


what is the German harmontown is now in session how do you feel
if you’re at home right now pull your pants down please welcome to the stage dungeon master game master extraordinaire Spencer
here we are together just us and it wouldn’t be just us unless we welcomed out the mayor of harmontown Dan Harmon
iron British not coming in for Jeff Davis we love you Jeff Davis
thank you thank you for the guest Costco in Brandon Johnson thank you
he just got it he said it
I think I’m just going to get right into it I don’t really have a thing I have been purposely avoiding current events I don’t think that’s why anyone who listens to this show the current you even can you tune in to hear about me
I forget about the Russia investigation how is it how is Dan taking it and so it’s the only news on that front
is it is experimenting with ignoring it understands that that is a full-on coward move like there’s nothing you can say to me I don’t think that I would that would like make me go now wait a minute but I like about what I am right now like I am a fragile white light closet libertarian I think whatever I was like like I’m a coastal Elite that like just wants his Obama back
or any mannequin dressed like Obama that wants to just cherry on the fucking status quo drone strikes on Benghazi whatever the fuck was the problem before I don’t care just get it back up and running I do not want Nazis in that water like I don’t want to I don’t want it I don’t want one of the five places that I used to go drink when the other four places were shity to today did you see the local bar did you happen to
I just shared this is just like this is not politics by the way none of this is fucking politics of San Francisco or whatever but
coming at the Earth it does is it politics just because Republicans want to say it’s not coming at the Earth doesn’t make it politic to asteroids and there’s an asteroid called fascism in a lot of my friends and I talked to you that go like we’re always addicted to do the swing wheel of the Swing wheel of the four years of this in the eight years and in the eight years in the four years and then for you to swing that were on right now is a 30-year swing it’s a big thing and if the front porch is called the end of a country
it takes 30 years to Swing by Swing back to some horrible form of politics corner
I just find it interesting did you see the apology for the old politics this is just like I apologies are essentially hey I’m Jewish my bouncers are gay and black and they love these guys but I didn’t know they were Nazis cuz I didn’t see no uniforms right it was it was really defensive you saying look I’m a businessman I don’t know for sure that I can close the financial gap between a fascists are welcome here bar in a fashion only bar I’m going to need a couple more months
so please keep having your liberal rap parties here because I need until like I think 2019 I think by then then I could just say fascist only and then like it’ll be fine they didn’t need a little convincing to start throwing those people out that is the truth they they said that the only color we see is green. My favorite answer to any sort of racist question like Kermit the frog motherfuker Kermit the Frog
plant life bro plant life green it’s always see all right so it’s crazy that it’s like literally now right behind your house is it going Kumail had his story that happened in Silverlake and I was like Wow way to rub my oppression in my face then
will be happening in our basement it’s not even like that at water it’s like a little bit of a shift
or orange or gay black bouncers beef are like OSHA it it’s going down in like Los Feliz
is you getting chased out a little Dom’s the shit is when it’s going to get like pretty critical
I got to say I do what I do like the the forest kind of survival behavior of some of these groups where the these groups are almost in a mocking or like psyops way they’re like hey look we’re at if we if we were racist we wouldn’t have this guy or this guy because it actually does for I do that I see a million flies in the mirror when we were like like I hate hate hate these guys hopefully then positive side it’s like oh what what do you hate and why in the answer is National as we enter has all these but you know any ology let’s not be fooled by like you know so fashionable that we are blinded by this shit that’s kind of an effort rolling helps it’s like this bleach you scatter across things like account are you good vs bad let’s not talk about fucking like how ya like like you can tell how liberal You Are by how many black people are in your Club
what is a good indicator
and I’m doing pretty good as far as long as Jeff likes Jeff keeps getting sick man
all right so I haven’t I haven’t I have a special story that’s enough of that I know 30% of my fans are Nazis and that’s why that’s probably it is empty empty seats here now the show is failing noted that 30% of the seats are empty right now
all right reason why you can’t believe those are full seat there by
empty seats are you not here
so you’re so here’s a here’s a story I have to sit down for okay get you Mike get it to the month alright alright
okay here we go
where is this so the story starts on Thursday when I get a text message from Dad
on my phone
and it’s very it’s very nice
Thursday 12:28 p.m. as your father
I wanted to text you to tell you how proud of you I am for your Emmy nomination for that pickle show you work so hard on
and as a good son 6 hours later I text Dad thanks but here’s something of even higher value I got a Tesla bond with my dad about the car guy that we have a red and then so this is where my dad starts really blow my mind what about the smudges on the touchscreen couldn’t you afford the Edison and I want holyshit my dad is making references to my television show great minds with Dan Harmon which is a really deep cut
on top of an Edison joke which you never hear nothing like self-congratulatory callbacks
so at this point it’s important the story happens in layers and it gets a little thick and there should to unpack but the first thing I need to do now is bring up the director of great minds with Dan Harmon he’s Collins
yeah yeah before we start the unpacked as he’s like I guess the first question is do you remember when and why I put your number in my phone as Dad. In fact remember
I wish it were more tawdry then then then it actually is so we as Dan mentioned worked on great minds together and it’s not the highest of budgeted shows so we didn’t have like the effects for things necessarily other than the really awesome stuff in the lab. I’m sure you all saw but we couldn’t burn in the image of dad calling on his cell phone so we had to have to shoot it we had to have an actual phone probably not this one cuz you have a test on now so you’ve got a newer phone probably the resolution to the conflict with Idi Amin who liked it turns into a hostage situation but then like my dad calls on the phone and Idi Amin enjoy talking to him about politics and then and they kind of, I don’t know they called each other down until it turns to dust but so so we had to put someone’s we put your phone number in my phone as Dad so that when you called me
say Dad and then I forgot
but it’s notable the important thing about the story the absolute tragedy of this story is that is it’s not just me thinking that I have a new wonderful relationship with my dad and he is not trying to deceive me know I’m not if you scroll back through this window there are a half a dozen times where the following conversations happened it’s like May 10th 12:42 p.m. he checks congrats on that ginormous renewal episode thing I remembered and I and I and I say thanks.
your you’re still in my phone as Dad so I’m I remember and I know so he thinks I remember and I know so so the really sad part of the whole thing that happens that starts on Thursday is that I’m thinking I have a new like late life friendship with my dad and he thinks that Dan Harmon being really nice to him
so now so now knowing that it’s he and that he doesn’t know I don’t know what’s my dad
and that I don’t know it’s not my dad let’s start just over again and you can read your part and I’ll read my part so I didn’t kick cuz it continues until last night at which point we just I realized when Cody I think Cody point it out no you did a God and that happened to into two people like okay so yeah you got to just start with the as your father father Thursday 12:28 p.m. as your father I wanted to text you to tell you how proud of you I am for your m e spelled e m m i e
and I thought that would be more dad like for your family nomination for that pickle show you work so hard on
and so I go Dad thanks but here’s something of even higher value I got a Tesla I’m texting you right now while it drives itself but what about the smudges on the touchscreen couldn’t you afford the Edison nothing like self-congratulatory Lee congratulatory call that self-congratulatory because he knows that it’s the director of the show that he’s referencing so
it is not trying to fool me I’m but I’m like oh my God I’m telling I’m texting Cody in the meantime I’m like my dad
all this is on some Baker with shit
so I said I sent. I sent a video of the inside of my Tesla is a video of of just the going from the dashboard to the steering wheel cuz I wanted to show that it was driving itself but it doesn’t it doesn’t look like any it looks the same as a normal car shooting from here to keep telling it it’s driving itself and I just sent an unremarkable video I said I always want to show people a video of me not driving but the LA cops are too aggressive about pulling over for texting and driving too aggressive that’s why I support the law to driving I don’t tell you I was I was but I’m just I just I just met there too aggressive for me to get that video in Foley and I like I’d have to do so much that I would be distracted driving so then so then so then my dad says I send a video of me
fake Lisa self-driving my Hyundai Elantra on the highway and it says n b d d d
my Hyundai can do that too with the video and then he shows a video and it’s like the Hyundai dashboard but then like oh crazy camera Shake any and the sound of what I thought was my dad doing a Crazy Character going all goddamn it
and he was like affecting this fun voice and doing this, and he always stopped even though I kept showing at the Coney by my dad’s doing bits
the cast of black because the phone falls down after what after six seconds of wood Keith picks up the phone looks into the lens
and ghosts whatever like there’s some self-effacing bet which I’ve never seen absolutely sincerely haha
so then days go by so I walk into Little Dom’s the other day last night well Saturday night know so yeah it’s a Saturday okay yes Saturday night two days later I walk in a little Downs with Cody Jon Hamm is sitting there
I was just I’m just going to go ahead and we who cares whatever it said he’s he’s sitting there with Edgar Wright and picture
I would like Joaquin Phoenix I like Cicely Cicely Tyson
play blue stars in the booth there is at the little booth and Warren Beatty and I like like like like this even for Quentin Tarantino like you’re at a drive-through or something like the back of his head and and and I saw him and then but I appreciate it I did what you’re supposed to do I ignored him and pretended he was a ghost in like to talk to him about his business where he lives now that’s a good neighborhood
and then we go over to the booth and where it where like Cody and I are like like wow that’s that’s pretty neat like that’s a big deal to him but this is Warren and that but it’s so I met I met Warren Beatty this is good that the peak Warren Beatty relationship right I met her I mean I don’t I’m not saying there’s no more fulfilling things in store for you if you are his neighbor I just meet me at like what am I going to do with the Warren Beatty friendship I’m like this is it I got to share it with somebody right but who do you share it with like I don’t want to come off like a strfkr to my La friends
and the truth is even Cody’s a little young to be it to understand what a big deal it is to see Warren Beatty in person
do I have an older friend who’s from out of town
so now I texted my dad
but it’s not my dad I’m texting Heath Cullen’s the director of great minds who thinks he’s my friend
he has good reason to think that I would just text him the following I just met Warren Beatty at a restaurant!
What who are you 1930s Hollywood royalty
if I wasn’t playing a dad I promise I would have come up with something better than that but I was trying to stay in the voice parentheses in my mind he’s a hundred and twenty years old then I said was it at Chick-fil-A I heard he loves waffle fries
and then meanwhile I’m trying to take a picture like I’m trying to do a selfie thing or because he’s in a booth behind us at I didn’t want to be like a I just thought maybe you never know if the cameras on top maybe if I do one of these may be a baby you’ll see like a top of word head like over me and Cody but ended up just being a nice selfie of me and Cody and that’s fine too and I die die die send it to my dad and I say this would have been my attempted a periscope shot at them but there’s no way so it’s just us having Matt Warren Beatty I’ll tell you what man he looks way older than you
because it’s important he died like a mummy that went to a barber and said make my hair look like Warren Beatty
that’s why you don’t get to meet people
I’m really excited that Dan is texting me these on Saturday night like unsolicited unannounced so I keep playing along so he looks better than I expected
you’re not playing my dad at this point right you’re just being he said you think I know your heat jokr and I didn’t want to like fuk up that you know I want to fuck up the bit I thought was you were still enjoying that okay so you say you knew it was me okay even though I know it’s you I’m like doing okay or entertained by it and Cody being there also made me feel that way
please don’t fight guys
so then you say no it’s you’re at so I say so he looks better than I expected is what I asked and I say here’s the important takeaway you are like three times sexier than Warren Beatty
and I would be by the way if you just if my bar is for a dad before I open the fucking floodgates I’m giving you like inside Hollywood shit I’m calling you sexier than Warren Beatty like all you got to do is like congratulate me on an Emmy nomination and I will be your son every 8 hours via text message
and yeah so that I sent you three times sexier than Warren Beatty I say boy you to look like you have that post baby glow though
are you both pregnant now he’s old but virile this is where it gets really sad to me this isn’t it take Saturn to Cody and I are talking the whole time and the conversation isn’t about Warren Beatty likely it’s about the my dad so then I text Cody says you and Mom should come out to California and we could go to Death Valley with Cody’s dad you’d probably like it in the desert
I want to let you all know that you are falling for the same shit
for their they’re going like this is there was like oh he daddy we all got a beautiful but it said only just to go in a balloon maybe it’s inflated by Beauty piss stains clown all right so I invite you and Mom out to California and you say I’m not sure we can handle the heat it is a dry heat.
so now at this point I’m Still A Guy or am I correct in assuming that maybe you’re starting to go oh shit does he think I am like I want to put on it the dad Pho dadness up enough that you’re like whatever we like playing we’re like Ripon and I didn’t want to ruin it but I was also what do I say now
but here’s the sad part from not visez much sadder this but
that’s sad part from my side is like I don’t want Dan to think now I’m not funny like that I can get it going like a dad would think cool to your kids are also like a son would think to throw his fit with his ride don’t drive
I’m a bigger pushy about heat than you and I was fine it’s incredibly quiet and free and you can do whatever you want just a thought Cody’s dad loves the desert and so Cody kind of grew up going out there with him it was like her Dells that’s a reference to Wisconsin Dells where my family would go when I was a kid
does the nextbit require little context with the brothel thing because of
yeah it does cuz like like Cody’s dad she’s a great writer wrote a show that I worked on as well that’s how I met Dan through directing the show that she wrote one of the things she told me her dad is very cool artistic and when she was a youth they would go to the desert you’ve heard about that so far but there was a brothel that he went to with her and he would like friends with some of I don’t know what happened there but
they were friends Sweet and I was like that’s crazy Cody Cody and her father recently went on a trip out there and the brothel has since closed and he liked collected a sign from the exterior of a noise like sweet but funny and and just a cool little Side Story so I text after He suggests we got it it’s tempting and you know how I feel about brothels does Cody’s dad still know a good spot I know his favorite spot is closed but maybe you he and I could find a new one together
so then I turned to Cody and go
did you tell my dad about the brothels do I tell everybody
stories Hotel on we go I’m going to pitch it to Warren
oh I bet he has some great thoughts on that Hill class up the joint for sure
and then hey Dan I’m really enjoying our father-son repartee I just want to make sure you remember this is actually he
the timestamp on this was 10:52 p.m. on Saturday night that started at like 8:30 p.m. that night and my next text is at 11:10 so that’s 18 minutes later and I wasn’t I didn’t get anything else done like I just read that I took 18 minutes to respond
oh my God
somebody just got dad fished
hey yeah I went there was a way to know you don’t like my Steve Harvey line of jokes
you deserve cheer booze for that
anyways oh my God and then oh my God and then
I just finished explaining this to Cody so that’s what the 18 minutes is this is wow
this is really so sad
I kept showing messages to Cody and being like this is so cool I don’t know when my dad got so cruel
and Cody was like I love your dad I told you he was cool
and I was like yeah but he just seems different like he’s funnier now
oh my God the darkness of this makes it worth it
I had 12 hours of the nicest closest most human relationship I’ve ever had with my dad

so Cody says you have to come on harmontown so we can explain this whole story and read these texts and walk through it you do understand that I really thought you were my dad the entire time from all the way back to you congratulating me on the Emmy Nom I thought my dad was revealing he watched great minds
that’s that’s about it
hey do miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, no one misses that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes out the themes related my own life but was always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
some of the people in the back crying right now it’s okay okay what did you learn about this moment of love it
that it was fake I mean are we all will forget we I use my I statements I am literally one sentence texted away from like reaching out emotionally to my loved ones like it it it it works it makes you wonder how many how many sentences are we away from from just like the floodgates opening with people that don’t have we don’t have a 45-year back story with but maybe the what if the postman said or what the postman said I’m a Post lady
what if what if your mail person what sentence lies between you and Brenda friendship with your your your post deliver our while you’re at your your your your aunts or uncles your neighbors your your your your intimate others like how many of us are in relationships were maybe you’re in a funk for six months I’m like what what what could one of you say that would like break the spell it’s like and it’s it doesn’t even have to be it’s a text yeah what grade is the word scuse me for this but you were super Brave somebody leaned out to reach out to you you became a whole different motherfuker you got super Brave you start sharing it all these things it’s Brave to reach out to somebody who might smack your hands and remind you of why you don’t answer my phone
but I don’t think I mean with my family to be clear and I think this is a did you know there’s a coffee mug that says world’s greatest director
where is that you were saying to be clear with your family there is
I don’t think there’s a lot of like harm that could come of a tentacle reaching out you know like like tentacles
ATT eat like there’s a wall between that exists between that happening in real life between me and my dad that’s like doesn’t make really anything that’s why as you can see it as soon as it was perforated I never in it in spite of all of the signs that should have if I do if I thought I was like such an expert on why I don’t like regularly text my dad I love you or something like that like if why don’t I recognize why can’t I tell him from a friend I didn’t think it’d be the answer is because because because I like them, whatever you call it my family doesn’t know it’s like there’s a lot of people that are like dinner like their proactive about like you know this is how I feel about you and I love you and I’m proud of you or whatever and then there’s families that are like you throw shoes at each other
Stephen like 70% of us somewhere in the middle where we kind of like I don’t know what yeah but in this situation when it was presented to you made the choice to be fucking a bigger better person than you might normally walk around that this argument with my therapist all the time so maybe I’m doing this thing that she yells at me about which is like but I don’t really think I deserve any accolades from a behavior because I was really risking anything in my opinion maybe you’re seeing that differently that’s interesting I didn’t think about it that way I was just I think of myself as being the selfish one to like it’s a two-way street Minot you know I don’t like I could text my dad anytime I want to go I’d I do it once a year maybe like Father’s day just to see what this conversation would really look like
I think you’d be more impressed with a Tesla in either one
everybody get out your bones and cause some of your love right now
I’m also going to need a dollar on each one of those phone calls time my neighborhood overrun by racism I just
I was going to say that we got to see somebody be so generous and just keep up a super loving Act
what’s it like
ask me to
the coolest thing in the world to do the better you’re like no you just did it again as well by my wife who give you tips at all she was the one that finally was like you sure that he doesn’t think that you’re his dad right now
and I really didn’t want to believe that was true
but then. I just want to shoot the shoot and get drunk and I like a joke that be fun like I’m only I’m only doing this to you yes and the suggestion I think it’s kind of hard to text your dad that you got nominated for an Emmy I find that to be like last week you said I’m happy to celebrate the good shit
if your parents are proud of you for a fucking wiping your own ass one day
like I made that
I mean I want to say that it is not that’s not how my family works I believe you like it but then you’d say well this is the problem is you thinking that I’m not going to judge you can do whatever you want to do anything would be better to say like how is your boat something like I don’t want I don’t want nothing
don’t get that guy got busted kind of wanting something during this story didn’t I it so that’s the key if you’re 45 years old and your weekend can be eclipsed and derailed by an accidental radar paying that makes you think you’re a second then then you don’t have a right to be like I don’t need nothing from nobody
you should you should you should you should reach out to your dad and nnn since you’re clearly still in childhood with that relationship you may as well say I made a poo poo in the Emmy potty
okay alright now I see the logic of it
okay my show got nominated for an Emmy! I mean
it’s midnight in Florida so he’ll he’ll love that smell voicemail leave a voicemail
no I said I’m pretty sure I’m pretty sure 40% of my divorce with Magothy was like my inability to FaceTime I’m allowed to be part of society cuz the invention of text messaging I kind of I don’t know I don’t don’t do the phone okay so yeah I sent it and it went through
but I’m telling you I’m telling you like it say come on it say I’m already the obnoxious Hollywood Sign like I don’t think I really don’t think I think he’s going to be like to make a joke Hillside Hillsdale I don’t get AIDS from it or something I don’t know.
now I can capture his voice after that I’m ready next round when you forget again I really got his voicemail that’s that The Rock and use overturn
when you make jokes around your family today still after they roll their eyes and laugh
I don’t think I don’t know if I get that my family made my my family my mom and dad like if they’re laughing
like we use that will laugh together at something like if I let you know something funny happens like I’m not like making anybody laugh you pointed out the first or is that in the gene point out what company you guys who’s going to fire first
cuz like he’s not if you know it’s like he’s not on board that everything’s going to just like sink anyway you know that’s why I asked you the first time you see is your dad really he takes his big risks in front of you and you’re like all right let’s see I hope I’m as witty as I’m Johnny dangerously so I’ll be at the table to be like you farting Iceberg or I give him I’d give him this finger and he’d be like okay like when I hit puberty like when you said those Bland start over acting like that I look back with kind of Shame and I was like this is like bouncing off the walls and like trying to be funny and I
don’t think I don’t think my dad was probably very incredibly entertained by it I think it was like bemused when your professional there is a moment where you’ve made your family life in a way that you didn’t before you know I mean like you use all the shit you’ve learned sort of to come home and be like this is fucking funny you can’t bait that will you do you remember the moment when you said something fun of your father and your life I got you old motherfuker real little kid I would do like a little shows cuz I like I just like the like Carson bits that I didn’t understand it was it was like Yeah I wanted the attention and I wanted to be funny but and yeah I didn’t understand what you meant
you know my dad was the funny one that my dad was the one that made everybody laugh like he would like my dad would read Twas the Night Before Christmas and then he do like commentary on it play Hebe like the chimney and I don’t know how I got up a goddamn Jimmy so fat he is but it would be like a little and then I remember being I got a certain age like that puberty age like I remember like I don’t know I want to do it I want to do it after my dad just chilled and it was like we could have moved on to have hot cocoa and
I like 11 you know like like a fucking adult basically I like like like as big as a golden retriever hard to hit with a and end
chimney I remember distinctly my dad being like what
my bit slow going to get I remember him like I remember him calling it out baby like you just doing that I already did that bit of associated comedy with like a thing that I wished I could do I never really saw myself as a other people would be laughing like when I went to high school like then after a certain point then you’re so funny and I do like shit fuck class over cafeteria like to nerds in the back of the room because I wasn’t so I was going to make anybody laugh like I was like like just right in the back corner and English class like mutter under my breath and stupid and then like the next to me who is also a nerd and cramp after be like that’s funny and then
and then that kid started a comedy sports team at my high school and then and then and then I got into like drama and improv and forensics and all that stuff and it got a little more training in like I just honestly just just hit the back wall with your voice and just talk and even if you don’t have school would come in then and then but you do then the strangers like in the school were like oh you’re funny you should be on Saturday Night Live and I’d like you to know what you’re talkin about you’re dumb but if you like power to me so I’ll take it and that’s the story
my dad never was like this guy’s hilarious like it is I think it so your dad’s side of the family is funny I take it funnier than my mom’s side
I’ve talked about my great grandma Boucher who’s now who’s now passed out I mean she was funny in the sense that she was a probably a murderer and and and and and also like we had several people attempted to murder her and she survived that’s funny cuz she was really old like when she got her throat slashed and she walked to the hospital with a towel wrapped around her neck I mean funny like weird yeah I do but so when you match with when you would hang out with like your uncle’s on your dad’s side windows guys got around there is a potential joke Circle cuz he’s got the funny Gene right am I right about that or where his where his brother is just like when we’re not funny he’s a jocular very funny like like very outgoing like you got a bit
no I just mean you know gregarious like like just just having fun you know likely I think at the party like like like if something if there’s something fun to happen like you know yes and doing it and doing fine and going with the flow about the funny stuff and not being like a passive-aggressive kind of like threshold Guardian about crazy craziness just like moving with it and being like that’s funny like he’s not going to turn the room down to keep it going I just want you know when you’re in a family situation to ship at the throne so would like Thanksgiving and Christmas is you trying to get in there and so did you your material now I think I think I think with my dad at the risk of talking out of school or whatever like cuz I don’t really know that much about the family tree is it goes back beyond that but I get the impression that my dad and his siblings
like they all have one thing in common like some of them are crazier than others some of them are like more fun than others or whatever but all of them are kind of like I think there was a lot of trauma and and and and anxiety and I think they all dealt with it by like really testing up and like being like either incredibly cynical or incredibly like gregarious and it either in any case like not going gentle into that good night and just being like more kind of like like is that all you got God like fuck it like I think that’s funny that kind of thing like it was more like I don’t I don’t think there was anybody hilarious over them I think quite the opposite I get the impression that there was like bad people going up that chain and that that’s why they’re like kind of like you know I can take a punch kind of funny
literally what about you how are you and your family
oh damn I never heard that before and ever and ever and I don’t have an answer about that ever older I’m 9 years older than my brother 11 years I’ve been nine years younger than my brother and my sister definitely the funniest one in the family but that was not saying much can you fuck them up at will a dad funny but it’s like not it’s sarcasm mean
my brother and sister were two years apart so they would fight a lot like you know four year old 6 year old or three-year-old five-year-old fight like that kind of bullshit and there is a Siberian Husky dog I was yet to be born and my sister was calling my brother a butthole in my dad would like that is not a thing you don’t use that word don’t use that word and he finally picked up the dog ass and then like lifted its tail up and was like that’s what you’re calling your brother is that a nice thing that’s a real pretty thing isn’t it yeah that’s real pretty isn’t it that’s real pretty isn’t it like that kind of thing about the hose I remember something about the hose and mud or something or no is dog shit and and since throwing it up to this is a story I was going to
so now we have now born 7-9 I don’t know and we have a dog and I had to clean up a shit was the job that I had to like stupid put in a bucket and then throw it in the trash me to fence in the backyard and I figured out like a lot faster to just throw it right over the fence and just a field who was just a field it wasn’t someone else’s yard so my dad’s over in one part of the yard
gardening and I’m skipping the shit and I’m like I’m just checking it like hard white hard part like oh that’s white and chocolate Gonna Fly dark like why and then I get to one and not solid and doesn’t have the density to clear the fence and so it just like I promised the fence and I throws a my dad like a man on his knees like with a trowel and I see him freeze
oh that’s great
that’s great that’s a worker are
I don’t know why I’m so glad you didn’t do it the way I told you to do it. Honey honey get a marker we got a Picasso and just like sucking my eight-year-old self with this just blistering like it would have hurt less if it were an actual pull us which kind of thing it was an emotional switch you guys have any real early memories of straight up eating cash it out of a cat litter box
I swear to God I remember I had this like this biggest memory of being like under the stairs playing and what I thought was like another stand box with a brown car
doing I like I’m playing in the Sand by a meeting cut at like seven like Noah I don’t remember anybody grabbing me and going come on like everyone get over here and wants candy kind of argue about whose fault it was that this happened to be watching Daniel that he is in the fucking catshit eating it
that’s not where shit eating came and pickle Rick is it is that like was that like a memory that found its way cuz isn’t that what the psychiatrist it’s family therapy and shit eating that’s what you did you did you have a cat
so you definitely can’t turn I feel like I don’t know why you feel like that like someone of the kids like my parents told stories about that and I don’t know my I remember being in a bathtub in my brother pissing into my mouth
not really consensually but was it was it was it like was it. Don’t or was he like what do you do because I was taking a bath and I did not want the bathtub to be urinated in
I wasn’t even thinking that it might going to my mouth
I just already saw that trouble was a Bruin
but I know he pissed in my mouth and I just I remember and I can’t not remember but my parents told me because it’s the funniest thing to them and yeah it’s probably funny but like I was like it’s warm and it’s our it’s real bitter just like just live commentary figs.
like I said stop streaming to to accommodate
what happened
being in my mouth is over party
was there any sort of payback know I was a good person
all right I didn’t pay and things that you know what kind of problems for people it was great
I cut the tail off of what am I like a rubber whale toy that my brother turned out to have a lot of affection for I remember that but I think it’s because I think I was just a kid as a so young that I was just like playing with scissors and was I didn’t understand permanents or anything cuz I caught this rubber thing and I but I remember my brother like revealing how valuable that rubber whale was and I remember thinking like fuck you
a rubber well that’s like your thing like this is your thing Spider-Man’s your thing motherfuker I know because I cut his head off
but I had to add had to be hard to have a little brother like you know I’m sure it can’t be that easy to fight and stuff it’s at 8 I’ve been I’ve been listening to these books about optimism and happiness and how like cuz you know my therapist told me okay so you’re happy now maybe so maybe are you going to drink yourself to death or are you going to be and actually you’re going to have a good life and part of it is like I do and I think this is endemic to our society which is kind of nice thing about us but we think happiness is like well there’s got to be you know where cynical about it which is not to say that everyone should be happy but it seems like we have an attitude about happiness we’re like if it’s if if something seems happy then you got it it’s more real to get to the unhappiness underneath it like it like that we just built into us
to think the tragedy is reality because makes sense life ends in death and then comedy is fake happiness is fake as a popular opinion now among our our little Nazi friends they have this virtue signalling like phrase that they use if you’re trying to help help somebody out or just saying nice thing or it was supportive thing or or an anti-fascist things like oh your virtue signalling because the idea is if you’re if you’re positive about something if you’re hopeful or optimistic or called to action than your there’s there’s a fake reason for it we even like mythologize our our our cultures like artists and Pioneers we we we say things like oh so and so invented the this and that and then they’re their biography of come out and it’ll say which means he must have really wanted his father’s approval is that late late enough that we love getting to the bottom of the stuff and making it like more like greedy and dirty and you
and real or otherwise we don’t believe it’s real and so and so you know you sign a deal to do 70 episodes of your favorite show is like you if you been waiting for a really long time a little bit of an obstacle you hit that where you’re like okay so I have everything I’ve ever wanted okay so now I’m hit like my you know I’m heading like a vapor lock here I’m like well then what’s wrong Caesar Taking Over America that helps leg leg seems this this is fitting as makes sense to me like God would do this to me or we can always just find a lump in my wherever like like that. That’ll happen or do you know that we can’t control that that is used to dwell on that stuff for like like I swear every time my agents are lawyers are on the phone now I used to get excited and now I’m like oh God yeah okay here it is here it is you’re going to find out that I hit a baby with my car or something like I don’t know about it they found it in the bumper
I wish I wish I had wraps that cared that much are they just going to be like that you were talking to on the phone the whole time was escaped from an asylum and likely just some some schulder was just a cool though. I remove the threat people will find another threat cuz it’s part of our wiring I should give some credit where it’s due guy Seligman Martin Seligman is like a guy that was there was there was a turning point in the psychology industry where I think it was this
play Celtic men I think or or maybe some other guy but who cares there was some guy that was like sort of like famous for standing up in a big seminar for all the shrinks in the world like they would always have their big organizations and who any and this guy got up one year and said look really good at diagnosing mental illness we’ve gotten really good at a great business like the world is crazier than ever right leg like we all bought into the myth that that happiness is impossible but are we all so fucking miserable that they are we not supposed to be making people happy is if it’s being sad was a broken arm we would be the worst medical industry and he’d say that three of culture and people are like
what happens at a second psychology seminar but he made Waves by waves and like a bunch of people tinting their fingers and
cursing their lips and like writing your scribbling marked down hoping that he’ll get insecure but he was he was he was he then that sparked this kind of wave of psychotherapy that was like what if what if our goal is happiness what if we just experimented with that and I think that’s where cognitive behavioral therapy comes in and stuff like is this working for you if not you don’t need all that crap it’s interesting, this is a yeah it’s a privilege it’s like a good thing that you have it but like if you have more of it then your immediate surroundings it’s not necessarily because something unfair is happening it’s your lucky but you’re not necessarily it’s not necessarily because you’re rich 4X dance because it is just all this science that goes into it like like like
Lake oahe who’s happier rich people are poor people that’s like yeah they’re there they they even write these weird like as much as I’m sure didn’t want this data to come in this way the truth is people that have a religion they their their little happier they live a little longer I think and they they’re a little happier liked it it’s not enough of a difference that we should all run out and join a cult are are like oh well that would affect your happiness and it’s like no that’s that’s nothing that’s negligible and then there’s a I just like hearing it broken down to numbers cuz it demystified it like I have this religious fear of being happy that I really think that if I’m over fifty percent happy and I took this I took this online thing I got to my happiness index is 3.1
to check Donald survey are you can go there and you can like you just fill in a couple questions on there they’re going to taking your data cuz they went like more data from but it’s likely between 0 and 512 how much happier are you than people that are your ages of 50% people in your income 50% people your gender 50 I’m like right in the middle on the good leaning side or the bad meeting so I assume the meeting because we’re trying to figure out how much of it we should actually have in order to keep going so I think people studied her happy
everybody that you asked like do you want to be happy obviously the answer is yes only way to get would say no but but everybody that you asked if I were to give you a magic wand that you could point in your head and make yourself happy would you everyone starts arguing like everyone’s like me or not I do not like that really interesting people don’t just want to be happy people want people want gratification they want to earn their happiness they want to feel accomplishment which is where the scientific cases for like anthropologically like why happiness which has long since been dismissed as like just a byproduct of emotional thinking that we need to feel anger and we need to feel fear in order to survive if you need to be like oh shit there’s a leper do you know like I’m mad at you for taking my banana and happiness is just like oh no one’s taking my banana right now and there’s no lion but it’s like
he makes the case of no happiness is like the thing it’s like because it makes you I can’t even I wouldn’t do a good job of selling it but it’s like you hear it negotiate this could be scientific you could be like Asperger’s about you being happy like being being like like like like in do it you could you could you could you could you could you could turn being happy into Minecraft you could like try to knock it out you know like organized it like do it right and you wouldn’t be cheating you wouldn’t be like you know Destin due to have an anvil fall on your head and end the end end it end it like a mountain climber like they just talked about the difference between pleasure and ingratitude and gratification sterlite like a mountain climber is like is is is happy because they’re like they’re climbing a mountain but it’s fucking hard and then there’s a point where they’re like going to fall off the mountain and they they’re they’re not dumb they wouldn’t be like I hope I fall off this mountain there like I hope I don’t and I wish I wish I wish I was there already
like they can have regrets about their situation and wish that it was in hope that it like goes better but that’s different from being like I wish I’d never climb this mountain has a bunch of fucking hard work and they chose to like but they they were pursuing this like happiness high that they knew would only come if they like if they did all this shit that was hard and there’s a big difference between Lake Frances play Minecraft with your isn’t hard it’s like a comfort thing for me or like eating a Twinkie or you know like just is nothing wrong with a pleasure in yourself but you but pleasure is just like we feel we feel like it’s fake don’t feel gratified by it your allergies the same sort of money where people work really really hard to get a ton of money and then get a ton of things that has a lot of grounds and they’re still not happy because it’s the difference between gratification and actually being satisfied
events it fuck this book but
but but but but I thought was really interesting it’s for a lot of science at you it might be smart people getting a funk about about about happiness of their we we we we are suspicious of it there is a thing that we take it for granted the way we take for granted that rich kids don’t have a hard time growing up with money so we just sort of assumed that if your parents have money and you have money you got to keep that you know to make it you earned it you know the value of it but it is not true there should be sort of a course and there’s no question if you want to be unhappy then you want to hit all the points that make people scientifically less happy what are the top things that live in an autocratic third-world Lake Country that where it where like you have no freedom and like there’s there’s less nutrition and there’s less less like a well-fed there’s less like there’s more that those people are made unhappy by that environment so it’s not it’s because you’re being deprived
would have in the wild I mean you’re being deprived of likes this is like really did like minimum levels of like comfort and emotional Comfort this family of eight Apes like you’re liking these people cool with me if you’re sleeping in the sidewalk your like more bunk tablet so so for this book you view your past the threshold where money affect your happiness I figured it your VR gear it’s there it only works to his to like seventy Grand a year or something anyways go fuck yourself everybody stuff or whatever
I guess your shit I guess your kids are supposed to like it in like not yell at them and stuff like that believe it like the way he talks about Cody’s sister like right and everything I hear the guy saying I’m like oh that’s how your sister that’s how she’s raising her kids that’s why they’re like and then the sibling rivalry thing which we take for granted we think that siblings are supposed to like resent each other and it but it’s not really a it’s not a it’s a it’s a it’s a pervasive thing but it’s not what is it you don’t have to like be mad at your brothers and sisters just because you’re older or younger than you like the bank’s why does it happen it happens because there’s not enough milk like I hate to throw 90% of American families under the bus but it happens
the parents expect it to happen like a be nice to your sister like it’s just that everything is like oh based on their setting Norms that it’s normal for them to fight like that and so they’re taking this has everything to do with like the nuances of like are you are you projecting onto your kids like they’re going to pick up from you like they just keep you put it on to them on accident cuz you learned it that way I was feel like it’s cuz we’re closed we’re on the same car, same house we’re going to fight it’s just hard when you know it’s not like unhappiness is a myth it doesn’t fall out of trees and stuff but it like it is comforting to feel like some people than others and then like some people have to work for it a little bit more but it’s like a thing that you could just decide to be kind of like that sounds that sounds very naive in Fridley
you know you can decide when you want to be happy. At that art and life and joy comes out of to be honest it’s obvious that happiness doesn’t know geography it doesn’t know any sort of social class because if we can’t get access to Museum of the instrument somebody’s going to figure out a way to put two turntables together like it people always figure out a way to bring joy regardless of the you know where are how bad it truly is especially the streets
mine are always enough
flying low I thought your mama like a bowl of Jell-O
just maybe maybe take a little something in in honor of your fake dad
yo-yo and goes out to Pops pikmi Pops you are saying oh damn so what is it about my wrapping that had no limitations on it that made you think what I needed was limitations
well maybe you should maybe you should draw boundaries around your just make sure that you would gotten enough sleep before you prime Cole’s hair
why are eyeballs nose all day and all night I put my suspenders on and I rolled around and made an angel on the lawn out of clippings that I just showed a bunch of drama when it was 10 below event your mama not to drink out of a cup it was my own come
Rod Stewart straight purple
I love to drink my own, I know you
yeah well I think that’s that’s that’s enough I think for now
Affinity designer came out for the iPad very excited what’s that like Trump drama as it is a strap iPad drama I’ve had from Kevin.
fire I mean

tribe where has Trump been like okay he’s just like he like he came and he championed he got a first class ticket to the Long Island and like fucking just let me just bummed out that Is Good t-shirts in Boston or something like he did not real
he’s always accusing me of being unfeeling and would look how emotional I am so mean and he’s so unfeeling but if he has a heart that’s all that were true you wouldn’t let him know leave a voicemail
hey Steve what’s up with the Joe as the audience to Windows I think yeah
for this show it seems like our number or numbers listening that’s on you I think right now we have to decide like now wish if we want to like oh let’s let’s spend this year wrapping things up because I have no subscriptions like 6 months from now we can go
alright well I’ll get one more week and then I’ll make an official I’m the one that has to be here every fucking week
this place is cutthroat
actually need that no joke
that’s not funny
what do you think Spencer in terms of the DND business do what do whatever you guys want man you always say that and do it yeah what are you want I want to play
put you up for the people
the people at home
does it make you happy Spencer
I don’t know why it makes me happy
it certainly makes me feel wanted
looks like we need to get rid of the biological necessity of happiness or whatever the drive for it because it has to do with like if your it’s a penis is like this like velcro that holds a tribe together cuz like immediately the first thing they did
is they were like or is it just it just cute people are people that are attractive just happy cuz Everyone likes him and it has nothing to do with happiness like if they’re just another factor and they they had to eliminate all that stuff and some very uncomfortable experiments I’m sure
excuse me sir would you like to answer some questions about your life why you seem very happy okay why am I in a room full of half handsome people
which hand is your maybe you’re handsome I don’t know
why am I sitting on the other side of the room with a lot of ugly people
we’re all so happy for the beautiful people frowning at us
I happiness you know what those carrier pigeons
I have ever seen is a podcast between those businesses there’s Netflix and Blockbuster and Adidas and Nike about the Marvel and DC some really some really fun companies in and right now they’re doing a Hurst of versus Pulitzer in the news business back in the day you’re talking about all the time corporate robberies like 30 for 30 but corporate right it’s a really fun podcast anyway today they’re talking about carrier pigeons
because of the gun no like actually carries messages throughout New York City they’re going 90 miles per hour and would know exactly where to go in there was this big trial that they were trying to get the scoop on before before Pulitzer where did you come from before this what I just found it fascinating what were you doing backstage crazy you know the Rothschilds the Rothschild also use carrier pigeons you don’t give a shit about what I’m okay
New York Railroad barons
put a smile on your face so I do post on what you are saying the rock tiles also use carrier pigeons extinct 1910s
you know what else about optimism and happiness Martin Luther King his branding optimism use your eyes statements like I heard that Ted talk or the president talks about the effectiveness of leaders and stuff Martin Luther King why why was his branding so effective it wasn’t the first guy to notice things were bad stuff he used his I statements and he said I believe I have a dream I have that he doesn’t his speech wasn’t called I have a plan or scheme and his dream was his two kids holding hands and if you couldn’t get behind that and then you’re all right in the minority and I can access that it’s like a vision is it like that’s what leadership is Hugo I believe I first most important thing
optimism is the opposite of pessimism pessimism is the singer they infect you and it fucked everything up everybody that’s mad right now they’re like their pessimistic and so some people are moving to try to get behind the thing that there a scared is going to happen so that cuz that no one wants to be a fool so they like a world falling apart that’s kind of what I’ve been doing like hiding in that battle so like okay let me screwed away in her over here and stuff and then Lake but optimism is the only thing that’s going to actually counter that sickness but it seems stupid to us like Optimus seems stupid to us cuz they’re they believe more crazy shit and they’re actually less accurate they do these studies hilarious in the book so they take people and they put them in a room with a light switch
straight up his work randomly so and they got like 20 times and then the light switches program to just be random so sometimes it comes on sometimes not when you turn it off if it’s on sometimes it goes off so that it doesn’t z z depressed people that they pre screen for a depressed come do this experiment there like a control group they ask them like pay what was going on with the light switch and that’s depressed people nailed it when it was cuz I turned it on the first time and I was like what the fuck’s going on and so I tested it was. And they’re like glued in like that get reality if you’re depressed like you understand what’s sad about the world and what’s not working you’re like finely tuned to it the the the happy people they’re like what’s up with a light switch in there like I know 30% of the time it was just out of control
they’ll believe a conspiracy they’re just like they they they do they’re delusional and being delusional about the things that matter cuz the thing is in terms of society that delusion make shit happen right and happy people go that shit happens and depressed people do that’s it’s happening to me yeah and if everyone is depressed and everyone is like noticing how the light switch doesn’t work the white when the light switch is a real light switch that’s incredibly helpful thank you your Vin Diesel in Pitch Black like thank you you can see you can see things that I can’t thank you for saving me for the monsters but this isn’t a real light switch wouldn’t like fucking democracy or you’re talking about like mankind deserving a chance against giraffes are asteroids like you actually need you need that if I can Bill Pullman to get out there and be like hey everybody
together Lee aliens like there’s no reason to do that if there’s anybody that sat out there they’re like this is bulshit flying away from the aliens because we’re all going to die that person’s correct but not going to win whatever stock and jarring designed to make you freak the fuck out so they they show you the hardest of hard it’s a it’s a little bit of it like a precursor to what about that happen to wear you down but
don’t be when I finally I’m someone
I was at home on my couch when I got this phone call
Mama knows I just want to say be aware of guns
I’ve got I’ve got I’m proud of our audience they’re tired of that bit
that was a test you guys passed
Spencer do you bring us up to speed tell us where we’re at what’s been going on
last time on Harmon time our heroes had just put out the fire and I think then they started another fire
I’m not sure about that that might not have happened but they were certainly putting their foot back in it and ended up escaping from the town but farmers were in Hot Pursuit after making it out of the perimeter of the town they wait up their options and decided they were out there wearing the farmers and decided to attack untrain the farmers took several blows and were instantly overwhelmed but they fought valiantly and then diarrhea Junior threw a bunch of vampire dust in the air and everyone started choking that’s what’s happening now
alright anyone got any questions I hope so no idea what’s happening that’s probably yeah you’re playing shrubs character Gary there it is. It and a cut and use the I use the DMV open until I gather my thoughts about how the show went I may have called you or not I’m thinking about a million things I my apologies it up a snowdrift I have to pee on
take this job and then I’m like I’m like I just I just decompress into that space and expenses talking about what happened and I’m just going like alright well don’t sound get home tonight I’ll let the dogs out and like it’s going okay it’s your get ready space like what else can I rhyme with mouse other than South like
okay so maybe I heard like maybe we started some fires well I like that that actually made me feel a lot better because that makes just perfect since it’s not like about me being bad at this at all as matter fact let’s get one more was with my friends
hell yeah
so we can so you’re outside of the town you ran away you were okay see you you the town was fighting a fire and you were like well we still going to find Patchen so then you went in and we’re like where is pageants in Iraq will there’s a better as a fire and then you put out the fire and then you are asking for pageants and they’re like the guys that started the fire and you were like I think of the winds are turning and then you use titles out of there but then you’re being chased and you were running because you thought you were being chased by an angry mob but the farther you got the more turned out to be just three people and then you’re like will fuck this and then you felt bad because you just like last one of them to cut or something you really started taking them to task and then it was just kind of sad because it’s like welfare just trying to do their jobs and that’s what that’s what DJ approve of vampire dust in the in everyone’s face
if anything it’s like an ingredient for maybe an invisibility potion yeah realistically you did get rid of a magical Regent yeah
but that’s fine so that the farmers are all coughing and one of them is like on the floor bleeding have to death
a bear up here’s what is Brandon playing both Bernie Mac and yes if you want
what was just like fire so easily stand up as Chad look around and said my Hulu bonfire you do it you like it
try to start a half I got to find pageants
at what ask me a question this is the game what how do we find pageants how do you find pageant okay
he’s rolling to see just how many months he wants to go by you use your intelligence to determine the best way to find patents is to ask if anyone seen a strange mysterious child nearby do you know recently or something but you like fire by these people standard yeah he’s like a kid oh wow I would imagine it was like 30 something sleepy kind of guy he was like 19 but yeah what a dog having never been in here before Leo woman
so I grabbed one of them and I go listen to me or face the wrath of God all right you do that he seems stricken with fear
have you seen a strange child he goes yeah I think someone was wandering off off of just just tonight I think it was right before the fire started we’re actually after the fire started sorry where he went towards sorry it’s alright
you seem to be going in the direction of Blade Glen it’s a big big city one of the bigger cities around here Blake Glenn Glenn Glenn exactly thanks thanks for answering my question and then I turned in the other guy and I go
would you have answered my question if I focus my aggression on you and he says yeah I would have but you guys got to come back and face Justice for doing all the damage so it hears I do one of these here’s the thing
I go like
that sounds like a great idea and I put my foot around behind his ankles and I push them I just just straight-up third grade at Seneca open guts of the guy that you slashed open he falls into the guts Jesus Son of God
that happens to baby
I’m ignoring Carlos’s bullying and focusing on Chad’s amazing hula hoop skills but it’s the fire and hula hooping on fire the fire is terrifying me as a swamp thing over town
so I lead the pack we head out I am now doing those things those firelance like they think I don’t pass I go if you guys tell anybody in town that we went to Blade Glen
your sister will explode
they look at each other and then look at you and then look at each other both of you do know we don’t
not anymore because they exploded in the womb
and that’s on you pay it forward if you have a loved one whose name starts with d
I’m hearing a d o d g i g i think I’m hearing a that’s a middle name is a g like a loved one is departed one of you as a departed loved one no no G departed loved one of you sorry I was getting into it can you really it’s a it’s a cold reading to Peabody fucked up alright we’re going to come back and beat you up you’ve seen him a boy laugh at you after I tripped you like I wouldn’t if I were you I wouldn’t give you the chance to be mean
yeah that makes sense I love it here’s the alligator let’s try a little of this a little bonus here if you don’t tell anybody for the next year or you’re going to get a chocolate bar I love chocolate
I’m going to cut what’s your name what’s your name sir Tron when she had you no more laughing at you brightness
what’s a what’s your name trans friend what’s your name Ron okay trying to run home
try and run I’m remembering him committed it to memory O Lord O Lord of the silver light if Tron and Ron keep their fucking mouth shut for a year give them all the chocolate bars
that’s so that’s a lock why don’t you do that prayer for us I want all the chocolate bars
you guys are so lucky
so long trying Byron why are you going to tell people no no motive on them like what’s your what’s your might be inside or since motive LOL I don’t really I don’t think I have it as an actual and wisdom with you don’t have it wisdom is 16 all right oh yeah he’s lying so we are in trouble and nobody’s going to come after he’s gone by then right but no one’s going to imagine them going back to town or they went to Blade Glenn was going to be like oh then I’ll go there too
only bad publicity is no publicity so I was just keeps are worried about us going Travelers reputation let’s just head to
I got it yeah that’s great yeah so now we are on the road oh yeah before you get on the road it’s it’s it’s I guess it’s suspicious almost you get a crow like from Game of Thrones
home homeboy
it is flies up. Can we keep it as a pet you don’t have a cage I think they’re supposed to be used to people yeah that’s okay well then I take
I take it you’re supposed to keep one’s of the week and use it then now well I guess it’s well if you want to buy one and I can I come and it’s foot away I want to write a message to whoever gets this message I love you! From diarrhea and then I tied around the pigeons are the crows foot pain I go
by Crow and send them back off into the world all right we’ll do you get the message from the crow the opportunity to send a letter also if we read the messages from and it’s like we intercepted a message from Jada and you just sent them back
do you like her all do today
I feel like I’ve got a connection with nature is this because I saw it back I call it back but it’s a message I know I give the message to Chad here’s the message
it says hello it says it’s from an old NPC that you guys remember his name is brother Absalom hope this note finds you well I’m not in a position to reassign you but as of now you’re being reassigned head to the mining town of funchess just out the blade Glenn there’s a dispute between the miners Bureau and the church is District Relic call it a hunch but from what I’ve been hearing from your work you’re just the man to blast through this logjam and help us get back to Mining and help the church get back to purifying when you can seek a meeting with zelle & Van Til she’s in vacation there and we’ll be able to brief you burn bright take flight brother that’s written down so we can reread that heyerly’s Bakery oh yeah
it’s a crow
Their Manners
Chrome and imma take a picture word
all right well nobody lose that until we get a pen and paper and can write sonal. Hold on to it it is already written
it’s a mess I know but I think I think it’s best for us to have a little redundancy I don’t know no I agree if we could like we are on we got to choose a path do we go to that mining town first or we go to Blake Glenn to find patchin’s what would we come across first the direction we’re headed it’s just now it’s on the way yeah it’s just south of south of that very south of assuming we should go to the ER and see if we can get some what feels like they’re a gold rush another reason to go to the mining town of tonight to mine people meet us it’s there’s a town and steal the gold from the church all right there’s a dispute between the Euro and the church is a district
so remember you came into the first town you came in because there is like some shit going down to the local church so it’s kind of like the church is in a dispute with the miners Bureau church that’s where we’re headed how crazy that was it’s been like a year ago
id10t Fest remember sadly mistaken gods that believe their lives are more important than ours who actually time between our adventures control the planets
I’m right there with you bro
they would probably look upon us as pieces on a chessboard or characters in some poem and yeah I’m sure their life is riddled with fucking confusion and inconsistency and Al course but that’s why we belong to the Church of the silver flame so we don’t have to think about that stuff as much we have lives of consistency and in virtue and we can tell the good guys from the bad guys like we’re not mistaking each other for at least we’re working at it
off to the mining town for their gold
when we get there I mean I’m moving too fast I’m going to happen you’re going to say oh okay yeah that’s the amount of time
what were you going to say though when we get there we’re okay so when we just wanted to know is going to be a real hassle that’s several days journey and it might cause monster fights it doesn’t
what you could tell that in one roll I can for that day so should we leave it that we’re on the road currently on the way you are and then you see a mysterious site a bunch of a cultist doing jumping jacks
what I love jumping jacks come on are you practicing with down
what does that mean not churches I take out my fire sword what and I kill the leader
all right that’s it
we’ll see you next week
it has been a harmontown thank you so much for showing up but soon again
pictures of Chris Paul church we love you so much we miss you Jeff Davis witness a gentleman
Tom Harmon
take me to please quickly


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