Episode: 337 – I Was a Simpson


Episode: 337 – I Was a Simpson


Harmontown welcomes its most charming guest to date: Yeardley Smith to the show. The star of Maximum Overdrive, Hermans’ Head, and nothing else, is revealed to be a font of charisma, wisdom, and behind-the-scenes stories that enrapture the mayor himself. Also, we’ve got TWO COMPTROLLERS. That’s right, Jeff and Brandon: Pandamonium at the Podium….


what’s good MacArthur Park
I’ll pay with extra good I got very good news for you priming town is now in session
we’ve got gas
we’ve got the dog acts coming out is that all sorts of stuff but let’s start with the important ingredients your game master your friends and your mentoring Guru Spencer Crittenden
what indeed
how about the bring out a mayor it ain’t a town without a mayor we have a marriage name is Dan Harmon
okay sorry but I’ll talk to her out here it’s been awhile since you guys are appropriate for coming then we’ve been apart for a while I missed you I heard you had a yeah I got I got I got I got I got what appears to be some kind of bladder infection
I did what I had to do to get the meds today like I do this it was this morning I was like this is a boy colleges UTIs play I now what I know is if I needed more reason to respect what you go through Jeff statistically women get more UTIs than then I knew that there are a few holes are closer to their butt hole is filthy animal that always plunges the a million reasons but they get more UTI and if you would describe to me on paper like oh there’s a thing where you feel like you have to take a pee really bad but all the time forever no matter how much you pee you keep feeling like you have to pee I’d be like grow up
that’s not even a disease that sounds fun I’d pay money to experience that at like a theme park
that sounds like an escape room to me bring it on I’d love to feel what it feels like to have to pee all the time I experienced different 3 hours this morning and I was like Rick and Morty cancelled I’m going to kill myself and I’m going to take the gun that I reassembled after I bought it and I’m going to just I don’t even have to put it in my head to kill myself cuz we established it’s probably poorly reassembled by a liberal and I it’ll just blow up in my hand and I’ll bleed out cuz I don’t know how to do anything and my Intrepid assistant Steve Levy did exactly what I commanded him to do which is I don’t care what you have to do find me a doctor that will look at my dick today immediately and he found when I know a couple
and God bless this guy’s heart I mean it’s like if you’re going to see a doctor same day you’re not you’re not seeing like the same doctor that they’re not sending their best the medical community is sending their best in the in the sort of like Katrina sandbag scented like like like whether they’re like I mean it’s like they’re there it’s like you’re going to if you’re going to end up in an office with somebody that’s like like this guy gave me a whole speech after he asked me about my dick for a bunch of times as like it was really heartwarming movies like by the way I know you have another doctor and you’re here because you know I was the one that could see right away with the thing is if you did want to be if I don’t know you know cuz he wasn’t like trying to Swindle me into being his patient he was more telling me in a really sweet when he’s like but if it’s a Monday or Wednesday or Friday and it’s between these days you can walk in here at
any of my other patients if you’re the first one into the first one I’ll see those other three days I’m working an urgent care I do this I say sweetheart sweetheart
but you don’t care about my dick right not in the way that I see who likes spent 3 hours and just comforted who WebMD. It I know exactly what I want I’m like bitch
I gave you a cup of tea here’s what you’re going to do you’re going to analyze it tell me what beasties are in it feel like there’s blood in your urine I’m like to the naked eye is like no I put a thing in it oh my God okay so talk to me give blood in his blood in the pee pee but only detectable by a litmus strips yeah I’m not blood urine shaming anyone out there who has visible blood in their urine I’m down with everyone
I I I went in and I’m assuming start
I I just I thought I told the guy I’m like the guy goes look how old are you I’m like I don’t know I’m a million years old
I don’t want to complain or take a look at the 4th
not only do they look at the Forum to even the people that don’t look at the form they don’t even talk to the people that haven’t yet looked at the Forum and they even though they ask you the same fucking questions I don’t even think they’re writing them down it seems like it would be a great step to look at those forms before he comes in and talk to you
my address is on your fucking clipboard a thousand times has your dad divorced does he have a fungus in his phone number can I watch the data get shuffled their legs like the doctor when she was like a when did your dad died I’m like he never died like what you guys just keep asking the same questions I’m trying to answer them as fast as possible I gave it to parents I got some brothers and sisters I don’t smoke anymore I drink a lot I never hydrate I’m a fucking walking time bomb at my dick signs I read on the internet it probably means I got the UTI all right it’s true hey you know what are you sounds like you drink a lot more coffee than you used to and you never had any water since like Clinton and like
always a good guy and he’s like if it if we were in a world of socialized medicine this is the guy you want because he’s not going to immediately prescribe me something right I want the prescription my dick hurts
but he’s like 60 and I have so much coffee and I sometimes you irritate your bladder and that sounds great. Your butt what is it is it is it is there an antibiotic
that like if I took it and I didn’t have a bacterial infection in my dick hole would it kill me know you want you want yes I did it it is there anything about how many tests can you run in a cup of pee I gave you with my broken dick them by name is there a lab yes there’s a lot of us just send it to the lab
centipede to everything give me all the shit and then I ever was watching him like by the way is this the the shit you scribbled on a fucking magic thing that’s going to make the thing downstairs make give me a bottle of pills is that the thing that makes your pee orange that also makes you not feel like you have to be so no that’s just a painkiller do you want that too okay can I be a doctor
I did so much today I did so much diagnosis I sent so many things to so many Labs I diagnosed myself I prescribed myself I gave myself a prognosis by the way I’ve got like 5 years left to live
can I can I can I have more money that’s like a lot of people have that unfortunate experience they call it like you got to be your own health Advocate or some such which just means like the doctor don’t give a fuck like I wanted to be outrage but then I give it a second thought and I was like wait a minute you’d be you’d be more outraged if your Beverly Hills Dr like if you went in with an itchy dick and he was like well just to be careful we should do all these 8 million thing right yeah it’s a I have a Doctor Who’s pretty good about like just been like have think I think I need a cough syrup and it’ll be like oh okay if you say so it feels great cuz I just like I just go in it’s like a store it didn’t feel like a Gateway it was like like it like when you realize in it in stardew Valley that you can get to build the greenhouse grow like cantaloupe in the winter
it’s good so I could can I tell you something that that happened to me about 3 days ago that’s pretty important to me all right ok Google what was right now I feel great time. I’m on some weird pill that makes your poop is orange in like makes you never feel like I have to pee I might be pissing my pants right now with orange fish are complementary colors and you have so well well do friends with lots of people here Brandon and I let other people are Jesse Schwartz invited to a celebrity wedding on the Isle of Catalina is a three-day Affair and I thought if we’re going to do this let’s do it right and let’s take the chopper let’s take the helicopter out of San Pedro in the Catalina many times always took the boat
the bugs all right I like the boat but the chopper so we get to the San Pedro Chapel Place. It’s called and where we get our bags and his two young guys who have certainly high that they were late I call it my travel agent are traveling there’s nobody here and she got online with the paper that I can take a late lunch these two dudes come in young guys and they have burgers and burritos and don’t feel like to take out here in a minute he’s coming in the chopper comes in they take our bags or walking out there on his exciting I like helicopters and the guy holding my bags as he turns to us and says you guys are between the the musical movie Grease
have you ever seen my musical movie Grease I certainly hope so too the future have you ever seen Grease the movie The Music. He said he’d leave his wife have you ever seen grease listen to me out to the chopper which is on the pad in the window and the the the relays are burning and I don’t know how you say it and I’m excited excited we’re going on a trip to a celebrity wedding and and she’s going to be there soon it’s going to be right over whether you would do I hope they’re proud of being a celebrity what I have a celebrity wedding
I don’t do anyway so we’re going to go out there fancy-pants * 4 * something * Chopper and the guy goes have you ever seen Grease the movie like but your pilot is Lorenzo Lamas
that’s what I said. So I freaked out because I don’t show the 92 Golden Globe winner from Falcon Crest I get most importantly he’s the guy that Billy Crystal doing an impression of when he says You Look Marvelous Fernando Lamas that it was his dad Lorenzo Lamas know he was okay okay
he he he he yeah he when he was in like weird like like a renegade turned in crooked cops and they framed him for murder so he a Native American and a woman go off to to kind of set the record straight favorite rapper favorite Chucky I want to know nothing more about it I want three people instead of either 2 or 5 at probably 5 and a Native American and a woman already like I show you I want to show you because it’s three people there’s always going to be kind of weird the billboard for Renegade going to bring some pills for your damn this is important
well that was a social media
okay so he knew you were hanging out with him so I got to get in the chopper there’s three in the back I’m going and I will talk about this so here’s the thing like keep your head down when you get in cuz there’s a thing on top and I’ll cut your head off I’m going to tighten your seat belt real quick by the way do you like Dentistry yeah I do if your pilot to dentist by
I like you don’t I don’t I don’t eat with that thought I don’t care how good it was over forty and it might know who Lorenzo Lamas it has also seen a bunch of helicopters that didn’t go down so he’s comfortable just being like hey here’s a trivial thing your pilot not as first calling but it is now mine pipe in seat belts and doing trivia by famous people famous people love being Pilots for some reason he loves his flight through the Grand Canyon to fly over New York City but he’s decided
how to get slower than the ground was technically crashing he found the only place he can do that without crashing because he’s throwing until that helicopter so we can live in we hop on board and we get in the thing and I’m in the backseat with two others Jesse is in the front seat and you get the headset with the with the microphone and and he’s and he’s getting the socket of the tower you can hear all the chatter and on your on your headset all the radio communication and we can all hear each other I coughed into it by accident and you and everybody can hear me cough so it’s up in the air
are you are you Captain Lamas and Anna go to him and he’s fucking beautiful absolutely beautiful and I was just hoping that Jesse would just give him like a handy like something I’d make it make this count and he’s flying and all I want to do is ask Fernando Lamas questions and I got the, and once in a while something like that
and I just I’m dying I got to talk to him and the only thing I said to him the whole flight was going to go
500 and I thought cuz he’s clearly aware that I’m a fan or at least like to interrupt with one thing is important to recovery that’s Jeff just told the celebrity story that didn’t end with the celebrity thanking him for talking to and I had it was unremarkable encounter with a celebrity and you just hit wheel and he is a beautiful when he landed on a dime and gave you some change and then
that is a really accurate helicopter landed and I instantly
he has to go solve the murder that he was framed for alligator to Catalina Island and I would be talking about that for a long time
yeah and let’s escalate things but first Brandon how’s it going how’s your what’s it like doing a voice on The Simpsons for like 40 years you know they they decided let’s just let’s blow it out with a little Brandon Johnson talent and guess who’s disappointed
is it going is good to have you back it’s good to be here I just stopped by to see what you guys are up to there was a chance check was to be late so I stood is always do. Just in case the boat back and Patrick Swayze use in poor taste is a beloved actor that probably anyway the guy that would be piloting a little early to beat level anyway Brandon how’s it going man
an image with our gas and I want I want her to remember this is what is a powerful time but that affect my behavior like friends with no I’m not going to get ship faced before the show and then fumble everything this is a this is a story of a person who was being made fun of from childhood for her voice and then through no speaking of her own ended up becoming incredibly famous for that exact same voice and I would imagine what we going to ask her yet I almost think that that voice like May prohibit her from being in like your average like movies now that are all made from CG maybe that’s one thing we’ll ask her about but got to be one of the most famous voices you’ll ever hear but also an incredible person happens to be the the connection here is that she she makes like this incredibly Gourmet True Crime podcast
it’s actually it’s actually show you’d love if you weren’t into True Crime all so she’s cheat cheat sheet to let me put it this way her Wikipedia page I trade it in the second it’s a good Wikipedia page it’s the kind you’d want if a safe fell on your head and you have her Wikipedia page if you would love it but all I’m going to do is ask her questions about Maximum Overdrive please welcome actress-writer performer back of his stateswoman hopefully new friend Yeardley Smith
good morning
anywhere you like yeah yeah
oh yeah you can move my the metaphor for my eclipsing alcoholism
is there any room for this table to have function now there’s not
in its place my awareness with your upbringing because I did go to your Wikipedia page a little bit first of all thank you for coming
weird and it’s weird that you can’t go in and edit them yourself if you really wanted to tell you can’t know I don’t know how it’s run if there’s those things on there that just really shouldn’t be there and I tried to say it’s no longer relevant and they’re like started off with keeping it in a very long time I have an erection you know what’s funny I was reading an article in Vanity Fair something and it was an old archived article and
it’s sad that I think it was actually about Jennifer Lopez and it was Jennifer Lopez was saying oh I never read interviews about myself in the interviewer was saying in parentheses PS celebrities always say that and they always read interviews about themselves that’s actually not true it’s not true but I don’t read interviews about myself I rarely rarely Listen to Enter music give I never read reviews anymore I don’t read the good or the bad he just doesn’t help me it’s very odd it’s odd to be objectified in that way and it can really suck you up so it can only get you so high and then if you’re a responsible person you’re like oh I can only go down I think if the if you’re healthy and you’re privileged enough to be famous for a certain amount of time I would expect it to where you’re like I’m not looking at any of it but it has the weird effect of like oh I hate my own name I can’t I can’t like oh I go to you too but I’m like I wish I knew how to build a model airplane in the like yeah but your
do you want to read why Rick and Morty second season free like now I I don’t I don’t want to know anything about anything to do with my name to be where you you just want to know how you came up with Rick and Morty you know God damn well how we did cuz you know the show you work on rips it off every week
no I want to listen to my sister is form of flattery is not are they saying at the bar before the show I’m like I want I bet this person doesn’t look at her Wikipedia page because I bet she’s very healthy and I bet she deserves to know this is an Immaculate Wikipedia page you it it it like just when you think what a nice person what a good solid person right at the end it’s like snow in the camera
I like like like didn’t ask for it didn’t come hat in hand it is I got hit by the way gay people do like fucking nail that bearing all and being honest about this strange career you’ve had Brandon you’re okay you got to you got to drink settle in let’s go
striking stuff that I bet that the about your early career is this
is the alienation because you didn’t you you you you express to interviewers in the past about coming out here and let’s set the stage is like what 88-86 early 86 as someone describe the description in Wikipedia it was like on a half promise of something which I think is everyone’s story that comes from somewhere to La probably well in New York I had been there for literally 6 weeks I had Edition from Mike Nichols who is directing the Tom stoppard play on Broadway I got that job that’s crazy
I was but the funny thing is is that I didn’t know the part I was auditioning for was actually two under study Cynthia Nixon I thought it was to play Jeremy Irons his daughter but it was in fact the understudy Cynthia Nixon he was playing Jeremy Irons his daughter and I was like fuck that but that noise I have not doing that and my agent was like to argue and also what is wrong with you you ain’t already East Coast Italy who comes to the West Coast to do a Tom stoppard play with my keys come out I remember wait wait don’t tell me it was good to Paris I was born in Paris cuz my father was a foreign correspondent
and so my and he was actually in Poland when my mother was pregnant with me and he was my mother I have an older brother who was born in London and she was in Poland when she was pregnant with him as well and a Polish doctors said to my mother you don’t you don’t speak the language very well and if something goes wrong we probably can accommodate you as well as you can in a western country somewhere else if she went to London for my brother that was 1963 she went to Paris for me that was 19 something totally how they practice their just like hey you don’t talk right get out of here we can’t in Paris so she went there which makes me sound like you know like I’m Julia
Panache but it’s nothing like that it’s not at all like that it’s so overstated would you describe like being teased for your voice my friends and family alike it’s not even your quote was it basically been the same since I was six there it just didn’t change like it was that really like did you have moments of like
whatever the vocal equivalent of looking in a mirror it was and like wishing like like like like what’s the vocal equivalent of padding the bra what’s the vocal equivalent of like God damn it change my voice or were you like fuck this can’t be ashamed of this
I think I just didn’t really give me I didn’t really think that there was anything that would stop me from ruling the world I just but I also didn’t say that my voice would ever be my fortune so voice-over was never on the menu in terms of how I was going to rule the world so when people say when you got The Simpsons that must’ve been fantastic I was like I don’t really care about voice over it just I didn’t like it just didn’t even register I didn’t register for a really long time because I think I it just it had never I never considered it an asset and it so I didn’t have a voiceover agent it just was like that’s not how it’s got that’s not how I’m going to win so whatever I said I’ll do it a tribute this like the negative word would be narcissism although I don’t call it negative like the idea that you’re assuming like
What actors they weren’t directors they were to take your dad was a correspondent or like these people weren’t telling you but you’re thinking you’re had one way or another I’m going to dominate what do you ever have you thought does that come from nature or nurture is what we all want to know what the fuck is wrong with you want to know how do I how do I manufacture this do I have to be born right or do I have to just think it and fucking do it remember a time
well I think there is two sides of the same coin so I remember being afraid of everything
and so it wasn’t that I was Fearless it was that I had this overabundance of Courage
and if I don’t answer mobile extraordinary insecurities I was a little kid and I had this tiny tiny voice and and I
and yet I had if there was a ferocity to me and so but I also and I always felt a little bit like I didn’t belong
and I remember being about five years old and there was a woman in my neighborhood in Washington DC where I grew up and she used to have this theater in the summer is she had a one-car garage and she would get all the kids together and and she would make us lip-sync to musicals like the sound of music can Fiddler on the Roof and she would dress up and she would also do these things like living portraits right and so I was a portrait of Marietta that Mary Cassatt did this American Artist and I was just it was a little girl in the straw hat so music was playing I remember my knees were knocking and there was a curtain rod and curtain Drew back and as soon as a light hit me my niece stop knocking and I thought like oh oh oh oh okay I think I’ll be all right here and I just sort of I think I just felt like I belonged and then after that I started to do plays and the great thing about doing a play was
even if it had a sad ending I knew how it ended and I could prepare for it it was like predicting the future and so that for a control freak yes people and you can either be your Tormentor or they can sit the fuck down and watch you you get the same Comfort backstage with the cast in the you know the crew and all that did you get that same kind of that kind of familial exchange of energy was was an extraordinary night and it was really powerful and I remember my first play in my purse for like real play we did I Remember Mama and I play the youngest daughter and my very first line I got this huge laugh and I remember how powerful that was and I just thought
all right I remember changing the dynamic in your social structure was there a moment when you were cuz I remember being a dork and stinky and boy did that change but there was a certain there was a shift at all I don’t have a dramatic moment of it but I was very much not going to stop doing drama club and improv classes because of how did it change the dynamic of your whole world did you go up on stage and do a thing and then the next day at school cuz I’m trying to place you in like a hallway or something serious my experience was
for the most part people were really happy and excited that I had clearly sort of I done really well and for lack of a better word I asked her to pass to spell to the extent to even their own parents had come up and be like what that was amazing right but they also there were always kids who were not happy for you and I feel like anytime as a young person and even as a grown-up I suppose but particularly hard when your kid you do something really well it said he would set you apart from your peer group so if you’re good at math or sports or drama or anything it sets you apart and that can be really isolated and so it it set you apart actually more per family for the people at work might have been closer to you had you stayed in your shell then it does the quarterback of the football team in the head cheerleader who are or
very content to go hey how about that Yardley I had no problem with her before totally ignored her now very happy to give her a d High School equivalent of Best Supporting Actor acted like they become your biggest fan they can they can comfortably make that shift and somebody that maybe you’ve bonded with in the bathroom and cried with about how hard it feels to be alienated that may become the person that you actually hurt they can feel left behind even though you had no intention of leaving them behind

set no time to think about you being my world let me find rural are you are you really we don’t know that she has a fast forward in a second to like I mean but but I do want to dwell here for a second just asked like what was the dynamic with the family because they weren’t actors they weren’t filmmakers they work did they have expectations of you where you letting them down when they suddenly realized that I want to perform
I don’t know that I
well I take it I think they were probably a bit worried that it might not work out the way I had planned because it didn’t really have a plan what’s your plan Yardley I’m just going to I’m going to rule the world that’s great how’s it going to be a registered Liberty blue you know how you going to get there
I got a good feeling pretty sure it’s going to happen you know how do you know I don’t know I just know but I but you know I’m our family I feel like compliments were implied Excellence was expected and so why is that so funny because it’s a fucking beautiful and describing the Midwest
Cowboys are implied someone who doesn’t deserve one that’s a bit Western philosophy you don’t you don’t plug an air hose into a person with a hole in their Air Supply
but healthy yeah I was that it was
which is I think part of the you know what the flip side of the coin and part of the insecurity of wanting to sort of get a kind of global love Global recognition is me to make up for this kind of for this whole and I have spoken of people say like all Yardley it you know I joke sometimes like if I was more like this I would be more successful and I like shut the fuck up you are so successful and how can you say that and there is this feeling inside if you really really want to get granular about it.
if I if I felt truly successful then this this kind of forever whole inside would feel filled but the truth of the matter is that you can’t fill up the inside from the outside and that’s what my one-woman show was about and so it was very Tales
very impressive
I think it’s important to note here for cynics and things because I mean I think it do it when you take a deep dive and you really bother to think about it and The Simpsons which has been in the are longer than the Bible and it’s it’s important to note that like everybody who knows anything about that show and why it’s successful why you have an Emmy which you I saw on the internet you you don’t believe is real for 9 years every performer on that show like kind of collectively everybody that worked on that show I mean it was it was an animated show that it
I think your your your your portrayal like a it exemplifies the fact I think there’s a lot of quote from Grand egg and from editors and directors casting director friends of yours and things that are kind of like yeah she didn’t like who knows blue kitty fluke who knows how you end up being the voice of a cartoon but like important thing about. Cartoon the reason why it’s now it’s 60 of season is because of this weird blend of ground a dramatic performance and cartoonishly acceptable voices I got I mean you’re being drawn and so it’s like to her for a second in case anybody who like in the audience is like a listening to our our path through your career and going like what the fuck man whatever you show for an audition you got a squeaky voice you end up like The Voice
good thing it’s like no this is not like this they are there are no flutes here and in fact what you’re describing is actually kind of like something that you’re not allowed to own as a person which is this what if of like yeah but what if I mean I was designed for world domination and I fucking dominated it through the most random Channel what if what if that channel hadn’t been there I might have been a senator I might have been and I will put you on the spot with that but I just wanted to drunk and let everything we were friends with Sam Simon and I was talking to him about the early days of that and he was talking about he didn’t like the way it changed after so many seasons and he left after what two seasons of my bed
like going down the list of the cast of characters what BART is what Homer is what Marge is and he said Lisa is the conscience of the show the one that makes you crying these amazing Apple says the homework ran when I mean I’m I’m not going to pretend I watch all 700,000 episodes of The Simpsons but I mean the I understand why your performance got a voiceover Mei you said you accept it now you definitely need to accept it I’m taking my two Emmys I got one for writing after that’s cheating
the most watched singing ever wrote the Oscars
and I got a statue that says I’m talented so now I am you however earned it the McNichols think there’s that I think one of your first jobs is Maximum Overdrive I like you you said something amazing about it and yours Wikipedia
you had a quote-unquote trickled down to your Wikipedia which is exactly what those people are thinking which was something like truly Dreadful movie fantastic role so I think I ate so I also did a movie called The Legend of Billie Jean I think the kids say now that was in 1984 and help Andrew McCarthy Patrick Dempsey Kevin Dillon Mary Stuart Masterson Donald Sutherland movies about Catholic boys school in the 1960s was sort of about it was actually quite serious script about the corporal
punishment that goes on in a boys school at Catholic boys school in the sixties and then by the time they were done with it it was more like Porky’s goes or Catholic school and it was directed by Michael dinner who then went on to create
Michael dinner every evening I actively sabotage myself as a podcast episode you guys find it. All right so
so after that I did The Legend of Billie Jean which was yes and Christian Slater not related although they play brother and sister I know it’s super weird or anything what kind of like cuz they both you know he dyed his hair blond and but anywho not related and that movie was such a bomb has barely out long enough to run the end credits by what was great wise was 1985 and cable television what had just come on the scene and they didn’t have anything so they ran that fucking thing and nausea I was waiting for 7 and it is now this huge called classic where a h with the PGA professional professional golfers association
they talk about these windows and things and it’s like it all has to do with like when we were kids and was like why do I sync up the creek with such a classic
original Star Trek series be canceled right out of the gate and then it would be just like I think that’s always a a TV writer producers like you early on you have that conflict where you see your numbers are whatever someone tells you you failed on Thursday night you fucked up you didn’t do what do you mean well the hammer you hit the thing slit up and it didn’t hit the Bell that says you’re a muscle man and which means for attaining the offices numbers by a 90% or higher and you’re like I always I mean it was it was such a late Motif back then where it was like oh give me a break if you just Mark at the show better or give us a better time five people only like what you tell them to catch yourself in that moment going like wait what do I believe it at all right do I believe in like making a
this is what it this is not what this interview should be about it let’s let’s let’s go back to the Legend of Billie Jean
I like like there’s so many fucking movies that people think are good was just fucking suck but what is a what is a good movie job it’s to be there
it’s Jimmy here when you’re going through puberty you’re not driven out and you’re like I’m coming Transformers are amazing
there are not many people really did for whatever reason it was a it was a movie that people really loud that I can recognize for it about once a week Maximum Overdrive but mostly I think because I look exactly the same and I am one of those people you saw a picture of me when I was four Hugo Yardley that’s you pretty much and this is me and this is Lisa Simpson it all in one very Sage thing that you said I don’t know when you learned it when you look back here I think around that time you said so much better to two
Tupac have a tiny role in a in a giant movie then to wait for the lead role in something that you like like like it’s you can occupy that real estate by being you’re not yourself you’re not those characters but being that old saying you know it’s not the size of the role it is it’s this size and skill of the actor right but I do believe that
for the most part with very few exceptions you can do a lot with not very much on the page right and so I was pretty much game for anything I have to ask like so because your director on Maximum Overdrive was literally Stephen King who was coming off of I believe is Legend have it has it he’s like yeah he’s like God damn it what a shity version of The Shining by Stephen King write give him what for
yeah I’m not I mean I use a fucking hero and I don’t mean to piss but but like I also watching that movie you’re like well also is an important person, maybe it’s an honor the maximum overdrive also was a 12-page short story as a stretch it into a at 11 I was born in May and I’m going to die there I fucking having the time of my life at my typewriter lost his back facing a men little jealous but like as a person like as a supporter of me apparently was also at the height of his alcoholism and drug addiction oh my God it was absolute chaos and we had to detour DiLaurentis was the was the production company that we had a pretty much all Italian
Krewe de literally didn’t speak English so we had Steven who doesn’t speak Italian and we had a translator I’m not even kidding we must have added I don’t know two weeks in Translation alone as he would say that’s what I’d like to do in the translator labor Italian turn on back and forth like that and he you know to his enormous credit he was very humble and said I I don’t know what I’m doing and so they positioned people around him who didn’t know what they were doing but they also didn’t speak the language so it was quite cumbersome and you don’t have a right to ask you know it was at the time when Cannon films also was of the same sort of hill where they just did everything on the cheap and when did you know that the tail hit 5 million that was a budget and you didn’t finish
thanks for coming so it was an adventure and I actually remembered there’s a scene where the truck drives through the diner side while the window picture window they had one opportunity to do that they built that truck stop and they didn’t have a stunt double for me and I said Yardley you’re going to stand there and the car is Cadillac is going to drive through the wall don’t worry it’s going to go super slow it’s going to be so easy and safe and don’t move until we tell you cuz we only have one shot at this and I’m like you know how like how do I do that I’m not getting you that fucking thing was going like 20 miles an hour it went so fast and it just plowed through this wall and I am
and finally I’m just like what are you going to say why can’t you put someone in a wig the Shadows from behind me or it’s no good
see my face so yeah glass everywhere in my hair the whole thing and yeah it was an adventure I was hoping you’d know by now I bet you I bet they wrote it for the movie I’m sure they would do that to do famous like Bandits but the title of the song isn’t Goblin dick it’s like my heart’s like a goblin and you’re going to like or did they kneel Like Houses in like
yeah well neighbor on Elm Street franchise I sucked in some of our world’s greatest talents Will Smith will never Escape I like like like The Fat Boys were got drawn in they wrote the Ghostbusters theme song before the movie The Fat Boys song and then they were like we got to write a movie around this song
is it true that I don’t know what you’re joking I’m too drunk and falling your joke I just wanted to be included a side standing
find me Brandon hasn’t been a voice on The Simpsons the last 35 years we wanted to find out if you knew dr. Hibbert who is this yes, God damn you don’t get funnier than this this is crazy when you guys are doing The Tracey Ullman Show doing that
I like how serious you could have no idea what the future would be would hold for that show but I what was that like doing a little those little bits so I got the job because I had done a play at the fountain theater here in La that I take literally 17 people saw
but one of those people a year later would cast The Simpsons on The Tracey Ullman Show so when people ask me how do I get into voiceover I’m like you’re it’s like asking me to solve your Calculus you no problem with an abacus I don’t know cuz I did it so it’s just was so odd for me it just didn’t happen the way it usually happens so I went in to read and I recently read for Bart but that really lasted a mere seconds and then a Nazi was there that day as well and she read for Lisa but she always wanted to read for Bart and she she did was already like she was already an expert she was already doing cartoons and so I then read for Lisa Ono voice R Us like who I don’t I don’t care about voice over but I was not an actor who ever said no to an audition so you know I was like all right fine I’ll go as long as it doesn’t get in my wife
world domination I’m good but you know that you asked me that I got to go to work in your pajamas and like to you but I got fired shortly after I did tell you I did eventually the minute I thought it was possible I started doing it and then I got fired. Just a good point it’s a very good point to least as we know it was your audition was actually I sounded more like myself in the beginning
and then as the characters got cuter as the animation got cuter her blank got a little bit cuter you know it. It’s more of a little bit but not that much and what’s interesting in a little bit sad and I’ll let you in on a on a heart breaks a little bit so they finally finally I stumped for one of our phenomenal actresses tress macneille who does crazy cat lady and mrs. Skinner and cookie Quan and like any number of says she doesn’t know she’s not doesn’t do any family members but she does any number of the cast in Springfield and she does Shawna the the girlfriend of one of the boys picked our talks like that and I should just valley girl I’m so trust wasn’t have to read through one day and I they said Yardley why don’t you do it so I said oh great I’ll do it so it was really strong when they really loved it
so the next couple of weeks they wrote a valley girl kind of friend for Lisa Simpson and the problem was is that if you asked me to do another character who’s the same age as Lisa Simpson I don’t have the ability to make the voice different enough to make it not sound like Lisa Simpson the difference in doing Lisa Simpson and shawnna is that Sean has like 16 so that were and so we recorded it and then I got an email from The Producers saying I’m sorry Yardley it’s not different enough we’re cutting it I’m like dude I mean it’s terrible so I really am a one-trick pony there you go Harry probably or I don’t know Hank down and carried I would say all three of them really neck-and-neck to watch those guys go from voice to voice two boys it never gets old like we meet
so take place in New York Harry lives all over the world so Dan Julie me and Nancy all record all together and stress is there often as well and to watch those guys go out of all of them do multiple voices and I just I stand between them I stand between Nancy and Dan yeah I never get solved hurry or whoever is is out gallivanting yeah he’ll actually somebody will temp for him and then he’ll do his stuff on his own neck is wet out stuff alone we’re all together in the room and I think you know Jim Brooks or James L Brooks our executive producer he comes from sitcoms and so when we first started doing the bumpers as you were asking
he was like I don’t know why this would be any different and it doesn’t matter to me that nobody can see you is still a conversation of course you’ll all be together and so while most cartoons do do it separately like when we did that Crossover with Family Guy I went and did all my stuff by myself I didn’t mean Mila Kunis could even though my scenes were with Meg and I just I did all my stuff Wildwood night which I can do course I know the character well enough. Maybe when you’re not as fun stuff with question that’s how much I would have assumed I would have thought I’ve been hired I would be high road and you to be like if you guys aren’t in the room together it’s it’s it’s exciting to me that that’s how they do it after all these years it’s still that way from a production standpoint it is needlessly extravagant schedules it’s much easier to treat human beings like cattle shuffle them in one at a time isolate
what time we left chance of anything uncontrollable happening it’s the way I feel like you know it’s my job and so you only so all right I’ll show up the way we did. Abidjan control the Christmas because we were doing like special things we were absolutely like nope soundstage entire cast everyone’s like where this is going to be terribly problematic is this person interrupts a person I would like yeah but I think that’s tremendously commendable I wasn’t I was a Simpson had a little part I did a little Cameo and I went into the place where you guys record and I saw multiple microphones but it is it must because their schedules don’t permit it and I went I went I would have been able to hang out I was it was just perfect that’s the way you want
I know you don’t want to come in at almost everyone. Thank you for coming and I would have asked you
no shut up okay so like stop like you end up in the longest running sitcom on television fucking history they also throw in the 90s like like you was at like like like Herman’s Head what else was there would be don’t hold your were you I was a devotee of Herman’s Head however I’m also an alcoholic so I can’t remember if you were actually inside Herman’s head or not Herman’s Teen Wolf you were the language for you were the best friend they want they are not going to bring up the ass
right and then you did right I so Louie and my character’s name is Louise she was really great fun and I was Disturbed breakout character and they like got some rainy chill I got it was a really good funny joke which I very much enjoy it and but then for some peculiar reason which it didn’t actually make sense to me and my swag on virgins but they made my character a virgin and I was like but why what is what like why what’s the point what’s your point and hear that they did it and then they decided that she would lose her virginity to Herman and so she did that changing the meaning of the title entirely foreign video that came out called Hermes other head
I will wait
look at the community pornos I was so disappointed with initially cuz it was like unconditionally and he came around this like you like disaster it’s it’s perfect this way is like these guys are Misfits at a community college it’s good that it’s being played by that guy
anyways but but it won’t let me to backtrack just for a second cuz I am curious cuz all the the the respect that you are paid by the people that have worked with you it does include the idea that when you’re doing Lissa what you’ve done for multiple decades now but there’s a little there might be a little bit of puration there which you know guys like me might bristle at the idea of like what the actor got a script and looked at it and said no she wouldn’t say that like how often does that really happen it doesn’t happen very often they but I will say when it when on the very rare occasion that the writers they are the right something that I don’t think Lisa Simpson with say or they write they write somebody being really mean to Lisa and she doesn’t have a response to
then I will always fight that fight have to stick up for my girl and I might not win it but I have to fight it it’s important to I think it’s important like in those moments
what phraseology would you use because I don’t think she would say that is that what you mean am I now this is kind of a cultural hot-button like in the workplace to be like I think things would be different around here some of the most conscientious people might be terrified of making too many waves like if I’m if I’m a cool person that I’m not going to be one of those people etc etc like I think it’s a it’s an ongoing thing of like is there a certain parlance especially with doctors
like is there a is there a magical way to present your your difference of opinion with the material your reading and you’re about to shoot that in a world where actors other actors younger actors might say are you fucking kidding me yeah you can be as conscientious as you want but it’s fucking eat or be eaten out here I’m going to do whatever they even more extreme like I’m not taking that job because from the get-go it’s things like do you have any advice about that for like when you’re you’re adjusting to a role that you’re already casted in
I am well you know I
tell me a good interviewer
maybe I’m not sure I understand the question I just have kind of like it’s actually a sequel to a question that I’ve asked to mail to mail nanjiani who’s an old friend the package that all these people Miss fuck off
ee he’s a person of color for instance lake lake it’s like therapy in this day and age which like we’re beyond the point of like the Hollywood Shuffle concept of like well you got to do what you got to do you think it needs everyone’s trying to find their way and I’m on endlessly curious about how these dialogues are supposed to get struck up in a creative environment where there’s such a hierarchy established a hierarchy which I frankly I’m not I’m not in a hurry to let go not because I’m an egomaniac but because I’m a chaos aphobe and I don’t necessarily want to just be like here’s the suggestion box let’s have everybody start having an open dialogue in it like I’m just curious on the on the actor side is like if there’s a if there’s a kind of code for an actor whose like 25 years old and they’re on the set of their fucking thing in there like God
images get through this and don’t get fired but then they see something and let’s say that they were like I don’t think either this character would say this or maybe in a larger sense this is a little like an iffy sketchy when I have a couple of things I’m always I feel like you get more you get further with honey than with vinegar obviously and so if you have the ability to be tactful that will always serve you I don’t think that you have to be I don’t I don’t think you have to pussyfoot around your point so much that you can’t get your point across to things like if you’re an actor who is struggling with a line I was feel like
I’m an honest person who will always give you 100% so if I’m at this point if I’m having trouble with a line then ever like really trouble with a line like I can’t remember it then I’m going to say it’s possible that the line doesn’t actually make sense like there is a problem with the logic of the line so are you willing and hopefully the person on the other side the director if that’s who the person that you’re speaking to or the writer if that person is also present is willing to have the conversation with you to say can you tell me what’s the overall intent of what we’re trying to get across here because maybe what you wrote is it actually what you mean
and if we can actually get to that then I bet you I can remember that line and that motherfuker comes out so well everybody’s happy that’s what I think find a positive way to say it which is like I want to help your show be good
send if if there is a line that really really bumps for me you know that’s always pretty easy but but I I never I’m not I don’t have no desire to excoriate you and say this is stupid ass fucking thing I’ve ever seen even if that’s what I feel inside look at the end of the day I’m going to do it like you wouldn’t probably wouldn’t do a standoff which is all the more the fact that a good actor just a good writer writes with their hired to write a good actor act with their higher tax do we have this kind of Jedi Code of like I’m not going to be the bad Craftsman then there’s this like holy like thing that should unite all of us if you in the commission of writing this amazing thing and you want to go back to actor that like the week we could like connect and you could go look at the end of the day I’ll say this shity ass a lot
I’m about to do it before I do you trying to make it right I mean that’s the point he hired me exactly exactly you looking a lion and a page that is just impossible to say with a straight face like it’s just such a bad line and you fight your fight but this is just how it’s going to be because the director so big of the right or whatever and did his thing was if a if a line is impossible to deliver well just say it out loud don’t give it don’t give it anything just sent you and it often turns out to be great if it’s a very memorable he just says it out loud like half of the people that’s like okay like I guess what your charming and then they go try to torpedo that roll I became Judge Reinhold
all right so like letting a let’s go to like cuz I think we can sew this incredible thing happens to you but in tandem you’re a jerk because you were doing Herman’s Head Simpsons is going on so I’m not sure what the best organic way to get into the there’s two places to go here and they’re both related I mean you’re here because I’m a huge True Crime fan my fiance and I listen to you and this like a truly worth like accolades I mean with all due respect to all of our guests that have True Crime podcast of things I mean this is truly like a gourmet True Crime experience the so there’s that but it’s entwined with the fact that one of the most impressive things about it is that in the midst of this getting down to the nitty-gritty in this true crime show that you do so well that you’re a producer on
not an in-your-face way but just eventually you just you share your story as a victim and so does living she’s now it’s twice a victim I just forgot her name will edit it is easy heroin Tales it’s in saying it’s not a date so I don’t know where to go cuz I want to talk about the nuts and bolts of your podcast cuz I think it’s so admirable and it’s so disconnected from this other thing that I’m really fascinated with you as a human being an actor who has experienced
crime I don’t know what I’m wiping it on you my indecision cuz I don’t know if we go down the True Crime podcast path I’m going to have endless questions about how you produce that show and stuff I just also want to talk to you about this this story that you felt and I don’t want you to recount it because I truly believe I mean that it was like people need to go listen to small-town dicks what’s the episode title I mean you believe me regardless of whatever your position in this Cosmos might be it’s a fascinating story there’s no way it’s going to piss you off I offend you trigger youth it is just a narrowing an interesting I think the most interesting thing about it from my perspective that is as a narcissist
how you ended up in this situation where this person
was a guy who worked on her house and was like any just started crossing boundaries very quote unquote organic
and as I described them as podcast before like there’s a point we described in the story and there’s this team running under it which is the which is come up here in this conversation which is about you you you’ve got to not accept anybody’s help you’re not going to go tell anybody the police the guy that works on Herman’s Head who job is to keep people who work on Herman’s Head from getting stocks which is a huge expense shout out to the producers
like like you choked up not at any point where I would expect any human being to choke up and tell him that story the exact point that you choked up when you’re telling the story is the point of the story where you go to get help because you are not to put words in your mouth
that’s the point where you really get victimized it’s not the point where this orangutan is abusing you dating you if I’m ashamed that I need to get help go to a another orangutan to keep this guy at like you hate yourself at that with I want the thing that is the most important to talk about me is that that’s the dark side of this other story that you’re the lucky but I’m going to dominate the world
without anyone’s help right right because there is you know part of a gang that Tuality that that insecurity underlying that is far from the surface is this is this is this fathoms deep well of vulnerability and then she’s going to that says it like like this was that what’s going on the back of everyone’s going to be so fucking stoked if I say it’s rough out here my contractor like feels creepy
I’m sorry on the ocean tides okay I’m way off Mark like I was trying to I would have I would like is the fear there that like you’re like oh my family we don’t you don’t you know you don’t air your dirty laundry I was really wasp be right white Anglo-Saxon Protestants so you pull up your socks and you get on with it you just sort of keep it all together and so you don’t show your vulnerability and I and I am a person of extreme so I think in many ways and so when I set the bar High I said it so high that it’s not like I said hi and I can stand on my toes and touch it I got to like get on a fucking trampoline and jump so high like you know it’s just almost Out Of Reach but when I touch it that is it’s not even as much an accomplishment it’s there’s just a sort of this tiny bit of relief which is kind of fucked up there’s very little celebration
when you live with that kind of vulnerability and you attach your and I don’t do it so much anymore thank God because it’s a zero-sum game but when you attach your value to what you doin to that external validation you’re in big big trouble and so if you then find yourself in a situation like that now you’ve painted yourself into a corner and so when I break down in that episode there it does realization that I can’t do it all myself. Feels like extraordinary failure cuz now I have to unzip and you get to see all my insides and that was never the plan

tell me the back off cuz I’m clumsy and drunk but like I want I’m so fascinated by the control hatch on that interaction but that moment when you you’re going to the to the man that said to you I’m paid for you to tell me if anyone gets out of line and then you’re it’s the moment where you’re going to heaven like I I just I want to know like
what is the Beating Heart behind the the shame like like that that moment when you go to him and you say I got a I got an issue here and I need help like is there is there language you can access about like so that we can mark it and go like if I hear this in my head that’s not worth dying for like like that where you were what I guess let me try to phrase this in a way that you can answer I’m setting you up to fail like what what was your in your Primal crazy had not you’re not crazy I mean you’re playing the crazy part of your final and what would be the worst
if no matter how not realistic
what would be the nightmare response when you went to someone and said I’ve been having this guy has basically stalking me it’s gotten way out of control and I’m overwhelmed and I need help what would be the nightmare response from the other person didn’t you tell me when he showed up at your house and said my wife threw me out of the house right like why didn’t you tell me weeks ago why didn’t you as though you knew long ago why did you wait so long it’s sort of your fault you got yourself into this time run you know exactly like you you you waited too long it’s no surprise that you find yourself in a situation
and you can’t handle it on your own by all the things that when you get that point and you have to ask for help you realize okay I can handle it on my own yes I probably waited too long no I can’t do it all myself yes it’s okay to ask for help all of the things that in my life I just learned I’m never going to hope I never have to go to those things help you never have to take those boxes and then I did when you say it out loud no big deal but like it’s like God damn it I was almost fucking home
like how much do I have to do to prove I’m strong and then it’s like somebody’s like no I’m going to fucking literally I’m going to build a spider web in your attic and like try anymore like I used. I have like call customer service on this I bought I went Linux for a reason I’m a fucking shit that’s what I want to say that’s what I saw it it’s not so complicated you know but in your in your head I think or if you’re the sort of person who
who spends a lot of energy trying to make sure that nobody sees your vulnerability than the moment that there is a crack in that besotted feels catastrophic and that I think and it’s it’s not true cuz I don’t care as much as you I don’t think anybody else feels that way about my ability but in that moment you it does feel like this massive failure because all your life you’ve been told like don’t ever let anybody see that what your friend you’re really good friend I assume she’s a really good friend you’re hosting to podcast with her I think in general you guys are so good at interviewing
she is like typing in just the right amount she’s probably heard this story a thousand times and she’s sort of like yeah but stop here for a second Yardley because she knows people listening to this story want you to explain this for a second Are you seriously putting up with this at this point and it’s a it is a it’s a truly therapeutic exercise you guys please listen to the episode it’s incredible the first episode
never trade in that it’s a no I think it’s in the second season somewhere buried in the middle there True Crime podcast this thing that happened to you which which were kind of vague your friend at that that began to happen or something to happen and I are in the car okay you started talking about that on the Shelf actually all of our cases are told by the detectives who investigated them except for two episodes one incident that happened to Sevilla break she was mugged and then that was in season 1 and we did it because the detectives dad and Dave with two identical twin detectives on the show who co-host with us talked about this thing they call the goofy Luke where you like it yeah I was so a cop will be like on a traffic stop and be like get out of the car get out of the car
yeah the car and the kids keep telling you that a car and you’re just sort of like so wound up and that’s called the goofy Loop and so is it be was then we were at lunch and she was talking about this thing that happened to her and they’re like you were in the goofy Loop so we did this episode where is the only one that wasn’t actually told by detective obviously and then so the next time in the second season of season doesn’t actually correspond to a calendar year we just were actually only two years old but we do that two seasons here in the second season we did just episode where I was stalked by this guy who’d worked on my house it’s Rebecca Schaeffer and I actually went to the network for that role
my sister’s name is young actress who she is murder kind of changed the landscape of stocking rules here in our great state of California lake where it was like all right enough is enough this woman was absolutely stalked and murdered in like Plain Sight like a guy just decided he wanted to kill her and there was no way that it changed a lot of stuff and it’s a it’s a really tragic story it was happening that exact same time. Just morbidly curious was it happening at the exact same time in the sense that you were you at Rebecca been killed when you were in during summer
my thing happens
I think hers happened after mine cuz mine happened in like 90
free right now driving around the same time roughly I’m so bad at dates sorry I don’t remember any 911 911 before 911 those afternoon so like my 37th birthday was halfway between 9:11 and my Second Avenue
Dan you’re not relatable
I don’t need to be relatable I’m a living God I may also be super drunk so let’s get into the True Crime of it I really think because it’s like it’s like I hate your crime I hate your kind of go ahead because they love you and that’s one of the things like you you you and your partner at like created the show so here’s the here’s the reason why this is an amazing show so true crime what you might be used to and I think this is a great art form is total amateurs in an armchair hanging out going like hey what what I think about JonBenet Ramsey fucking great and I live by it but you are also a fan of that art form but you inexplicably I’m have created a truly responsible and professional show that I would truly recommend to anybody I would I wouldn’t be
father to practice if I go fuel up True Crime because of you like you must love film Noir or you must love like just the idea of anything I mean I think it’s the only true crime to I’ve ever heard that I think cops could listen to next two victims for instance emails reviews from cops saying this is amazing and thanks so much thanks for telling it from our point of view so like I said all of our cases are told by the detectives who investigated them and it started because I’m friends with Dan and Dave his identical twin detectives and they are one investigated violent crimes and one investigated sex crimes and child abuse and to just hear them talk about their gay was the most harrowing extraordinary mind blowing like a Tuesday is so much more
credible than my any everyday like I do in Stereo by Twenty Texas
the first question to ask to have you guys ever done a dead ringers what’s funny is when cuz we have obviously the same town so they have had criminals say thank you to one of them would like you don’t mean me and you mean my brother and I can do you mean my brother he’s guys though it is remarkable and also all of your guests but most likely like these two guys these Anonymous detectives to put it in D&D terms these guys are like
I try I try to
they’re Paladin’s the Paladin class is like it’s not the one everyone chooses I don’t want to ride around in a suit of armor on a white horse and like go to realizing it because the more important thing is that the sort of Dragnet Ark archetypal sent all over the place here here’s where I’m going to start with this as an American citizen I think my worst fear about cops including homicide detectives was realized by Mark Fuhrman like even from Wisconsin it was sort of like didn’t we all think that that’s how it worked that in worse than thinking that this is what detectives are it’s actually more about this is what we think of the world because we would assume I don’t want to do that job
and so this guy does that job and he’s racist then maybe that job makes you racist and it toxified everything and it’s so different in the front front to hear these guys really have no idea what they look like they’re Anonymous you guys keep their identity secret which is Dad’s the charm there they’re the you can’t be that by the book and that can did they they sit there with you guys in the interview other detective identical detective and find out who these guys are good but we actually say in our opening while some of our listeners May recognize some of these cases we hope that you’ll join us and keeping their identities protect the victims and what they’ve been through all the cases cases that these two have worked on themselves
so we do cases that Dan and Dave have investigated we also have guests from other small towns who come and tell us cases that they have investigated and Dad and Dave’s because they are they are of the Brotherhood are there to comment and sort of way in as well I mean you guys are so restrained but then it’s like a listing of the seasons you guys like learn phrases and then to do a quick weave
but more importantly like it’s Dan and Dave core like it’s like you can never get cops to host a podcast right it would be if they’d be like I’m dead I’m Dave we’re laying it out I don’t know but no concept of the podcast was Dan and Dave would just talk to each other over a glass of scotch and it wasn’t fine sometimes you put a microphone in front of somebody and they sort of freeze up and they don’t know quite what to do and suddenly with Scotch it got all of its slurry in about you know 40 minutes so that wasn’t a podcast won’t tolerate the recent podcast killer where is the professional
give me one second I have to go solve the crime of Jeff has to pee I already know who done it and it’s it’s me and it was in the master bedroom with my pants so then they said we need you and Debbie to ask his questions so we know we were all there is any and I cuz we ate we were like okay will produce it and you guys will just do it. And then they record their life so they were actually the ones were like this doesn’t work because they’re Paladin’s they’re good guy and I will say to your point about Mark Fuhrman you know one of the things
should I love about our podcast and there’s been a sort of unexpected treasure about it is that while there is certainly a really worthy conversation about the really about the horrible things happening in law enforcement in this country I would say 99% of them are actually trying to do their very best and if we have an opportunity to shine a light on those people as well that’s also part of the conversation and these guys all say and the women that it’s calling it’s not a job and so you know I really they really really really are going the distance to do it right and do it well and we have cases about we have a really Fantastic Four part series called the sociopath in The Whistleblower about a bad cop who is bad cop for 10 years so fucking Creative Rock This Town
a lieutenant Scott who investigated that we did we have a great have you been to it listen to the interview so we have a another gray two-part case called presumed guilty and then that’s in season 2 about two guys who were sent to prison for a crime they ended up not committing and then we did an interview with one of those guys who have been in prison for 8-years see that but not on the phone right now I feel like God with a true crime with the mother of every night
I hear these guys well I’m the guy that shows up when there’s an arson but also that’s why I like to know more about skin burns but some of them are crass some of them are polite some of them are afraid to be profane some of them are what what really comes across is that if any of these guys in spite of how kind of maybe stoic the job demands that their personalities be
I am socially conditioned to believe that if a barrel-chested as a picture all of them a man with a notepad and a gun on his hip that he’s allowed to kill me when he wants with that when that guy’s being stoic that he’s hiding the fact that he’s racist and homophobic misogynistic that he wishes that the filth in the street blah blah blah be rained out and it is so therapeutic to listen to just the simple Dragnet reality these guys often refer to Dragnet moments because what they do is so clerical they they move from address to address and they keep careful notes and there I love the rule of law being the protagonist in the story The Very methodical and we are she always also try to get into the like who are you as a person why do you do what you do and then how do you if you are
a person who goes toward all of the stuff that the rest of us run from where does that live inside of you always always ask that questions like what’s wrong with you why do you do it it’s debugging I think I got from this guy that we call Asperger detective on this show because he has a true crime podcast was just him and a microphone and his crazy brain like doing an awesome job of talking about famous murder cases but he he really woke me up to like the healthy reason why I think that may be True Crimes about nature would sort of debugging of of of our experiment with being a society like because you’ve got to you’ve got a couple different leads coming and you’ve got the cops that are showing up you’ve got the victims that are showing up you’ve got the perpetrators than her showing up and you’re looking at it with your little Ghostbusters lens and going to things went wrong
famous things okay so let’s all talk about JonBenet Ramsey for a million years cuz it’s endlessly fascinating but your podcast is like there are a million small towns in America all of them have big crimes constantly happening in them and then all of them have a homicide detective who shows up who is like this is like a really good job you’re good interviewers I wish you were doing this podcast like it just like it it takes the effect of like this VR experience because these guys there they’re like you’re like so what happened first to like okay so I got a call from 3rd and Lincoln and I saw the first thing I noticed during got water damage goes from there. I mean I can’t if you don’t like it you’re a piece of shit
even if you hate crime or love it it really is a good package we’re a tiny team is it be tonight at it on paper and then we pass it off to two editors who put it into Pro Tools it’s an incredibly edit heavy podcast cuz we’re not dealing with professional storytellers so amazing people like a nerd that full because that would be too intimidating cuz I was going to ask that you make without any editing your questions are so thoughtful and you’re never interrupting and being a big drunken idiot and you’re just reading and all that.
I have now learned to the thing about interrupting what’s interesting is we used to interrupt know we used to interrupt more
this is a pro interrupting show said when these detectives are telling these stories it’s often like they’re testifying on the stand and it’s much better just to let them go and if you have questions write them down and then come back to them afterward if there’s a natural break you can ask the question but it’s it’s less good to sort of try to get one in it doesn’t your brain is just not like that.
I love hearing that for several reasons one is that I love the idea that the the men and women that we put in charge and 9 miners that you’re welcome that we felt that we put in charge of that really specific tier of law enforcement where the crimes already happened now they got a the paper trail begins they got to find the perp I think they’re called perps I love I love I’m so much more comfortable with the idea of them being not natural performers I would really like them to be like no I’m more of a detail-oriented person start very detailed aren’t they’re very organized that way and they so yes your point where a very edit heavy day you know we it’s just there’s a repetition my peers my sang the most important minute is the next minute and so you don’t want your audience to turn away you don’t want them to turn you off and go and do something else
and so I really have tremendous respect for our listeners and I want my podcast podcast to be clean cuz it’s my phone you just said the most important men in the next minute that means every minutes more important than a next to people you don’t get it
you don’t listen to it because it sounds like it’ll make you better and you deserve to be worse
thanks for coming your at Lee I’m sorry sorry sorry
I think they’re drunk frankly drunk I am. You just imagining that people are mad at you for loving so crying
better podcast today because he was doing a better job at interviewing me a compare and despair don’t do it I’m trying to tell you something
do you know you should listen to ask about activist was one of the ways that you just ask one quicker.
I’m being strong.
He’s an honor what’s the coolest thing that your job has allowed you to be able to do
is it the coolest thing that my job is has allowed me to do it has given me freedom of choice and I really and I said that it’s not actually I used to always say that and I said that to Matt someone who’s one of our executive producer writers the other day and he’s so smart
fucking guy and he said oh so you mean you have money and I’m like yes it is money is a part of it but it is so much bigger than that and then so here’s a story about freedom of choice three years ago I broke my neck
terrible choice
just be quiet for a second
I’m so sorry it was really bad brakes and I came within a millimeter of being paralyzed from the neck down in a parking garage and I separated C5 and C6 and stretch my spinal cord within a millimeter of snapping
so paralysis probably life or death
I’m trying to prove a point. So now I’m lucky cuz I have good health insurance but what I really had was time and I had time because I have this amazing job and what I realize is that even if the thing that nobody has the thing that nobody was time that I could go to physical therapy 5 days a week and it wasn’t about the money it was that I could go because I didn’t have to be anywhere else and so that is about the freedom of choice and what about the other thing I always say is you know if I have this extraordinary opportunity that this job is giving me if I don’t have the wherewithal to do something
that thing that’s on me then I me a soul so that’s the best thing of waking up in the morning and knowing of the reason you’re getting out of bed has is somehow intersecting with you wanting to fall back that we’re all too familiar with which is like well I got to quit smoking well I’m a smoker but I got to quit smoking and you like fall into that trap it’s like okay so I am living in two totally different realities like I’m getting out of bed cuz my alarm clock wrong and I’m a dishwasher so I’m going to go wash dishes it’s not that it’s absolutely not what I want to do I don’t know 99% of us live and we call at work and we call it paying the rent and stuff answer than 1% of us have this privilege so much of your time at work then hopefully it’s something that you enjoy because it is
dishes otherwise they lose their house cuz I got to get to jump out of bed in the morning knowing that I’m stoked about what I do and I just want to let you know it also sucks fuck off
okay I did not receive that doesn’t have to be like I go I’m staying I love doing what I love like you know what are you guys got a million dollars for taking a shit on a paper plate I feel bad about myself I think that could be really uplifting for poor people
MMS second question was about activism what’s the lgbtq activists us that it’s part of the gay thing California voted against gay marriage I was I just actually produced a movie that Dustin Lance Black had directed called Virginia that Jennifer Connelly and Ed Harris had started and he introduced me to Chad Griffin who at the time had with just teamed up with Rob Reiner and they started the American foundation for equal rights to overturn Proposition 8 and they came to me and said Yardley we need to fight this fight and we need money and I said I’m in
that was my first really really big push and I was one of the major donors for that and then Chad got from which we did that the American foundation for equal rights went away and Chad got poached to the Human Rights Campaign and then I started followed him there and I supported them there and I actually was just honored their this last spring at their Gala as you got the national leadership award for supporting the lgbtq community do is to become like a donor to these things in a philanthropist quite generously but I
I never need to be
I don’t ever need my name in lights about that it’s and it’s funny so when I had to give this speech about being recognized by the Human Rights Campaign I got a big laugh when I said so I’ve been agonizing for months about how to thank you for thanking me from early for doing this that I’m like thanks cuz now I have not slept since Christmas so I mean it was really I mean I was incredibly gratified but I also felt like I really don’t I don’t need you to I don’t need it I’m good like they personally are always so gracious towards me but they really really really wanted to do it publicly and so I recognized that part of being gracious is allowing people to say thank you and so I never thanked you never want to honor you but they said we should come to you and say hey we’re going to show you this big event for you get to get up and agonized over a speech or
you get to know that we want to do that for you and you can you can flip that coin and go whichever way you want it up there I think it’s important actually whether you like it or not that they’re the Strategic Benefit of because someone like me who would do it for the wrong reasons is like hey I want I want that I think it’s important you would donate to this great cause of Jesse could have overlooked Gala event causes for a very wrong reasons now but I do think that I did put that idea of deflecting compliments being like I think that that’s like somebody saying thank you and then how you react to that it’s like like your instinct being to be like
almost like fuck you it’s really because you’re because if if you did something nice for any other reason than to be nice then that person that’s actually thinking you is arguably an enemy in your in your pineal gland if you like and then like I had to therapist had to explain to me like they said that they’re happy that you didn’t you part of it if you have to receive it so get over it and receive it it’s part of the deal this morning we are you good at
are you going to eat now you more are you comfortable with such a small compliments in general like I said do you accept them easily or is it difficult to even accept little compliments even answer shut up you’re a piece of shit thank you
okay he’s pretty good
I feel like I am whatever happens internally you know if I find it really can be sort of day today if I if I like I was almost late today tonight because I couldn’t get out of my closet cuz I change clothes like five times as long as we got it but you kind of took it you kind of badger head and I think part of you think in your head
succubus butterfly did you have to translate it to the second language of
so I I just
you know I’m just sort of complicated little trigger in there sometimes I like Compliments are fine I’m good with it I really am good I just honestly
I knew that I just really didn’t need that big big recognition I was really okay with Chad and Chris Farren who runs the foundation under him they’re always like I said so personally gracious I was like that is so enough for me I am good but they were insistent so I think it’s going to be late cuz it’s like I think I likely clicked some is there something that someone can say like there’s something that performers people that want attention like did you hear something from them that made that through that gear and you’re like oh that’s what I want to hear and I don’t actually need to hear it from 250 million people on Twitter I actually need to hear from two people who are like running this Charity Drive
I think it’s fucking you’re you’re a good person but it’s like only if somebody said that to me I’d be like well you’re a liar and you’re a piece of shit I’ll never trust you I’m going to hit you in the head. I work for biscuits and I’m sort of like a dog I I respond to biscuit so I do like to know that I did a good job I like that I really do I work very hard I like to know that I set the bar High I touch the bar and that you recognize that are glad you were here. I’m happy to be here
terrible and Nick has a terrible ending
I’m glad you guys are here she was here
best catch ever
Spanky I’d like to take it for everything that you’re doing and thank you for making it so happy for so long
doing things that don’t mean shit to go looking for tell I’m still looking for my checks in the mail without fail we bring it back to its what kind of logic is that in fact
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