Episode
Episode 347: The Breasts Feel Fine, Wherever They Are
Description
Host of the podcast How Did This Get Played?, Heather Anne Campbell joins Rick and Morty writer Nick Rutherford. Starring Dan Harmon, Spencer Crittenden, Brandon Johnson, Heather Anne Campbell and Nick Rutherford.
Transcript
what would you want to talk. Damn it, lovely downtown you know what the deal is somewhere right now somebody’s waiting outside
that thing is great. Good friend dungeon master Master Blaster
YouTube for doing joint
put your picture you don’t starve
oh my God
water show you guys know you’re going to have a good time I remember the time when you show wasn’t that good and I still paid the same amount of money for it
okay yeah just leave that guy that’s not guy
that apparently hate some episodes of the show he wasn’t ready for the evolutions I’m glad I spilled all over the closing of the mail today they look nice boys are very generous Phil pays the for the live video feed I’m wearing clothing I got in the mail from bombfell it was a great response at one point I think I’m grandfathered into some AI Warehouse it’s just like making Bombs all the deliveries of like the company baby chapter 11 and it just like those robot arms mailing close to me here I am I don’t think you guys understood that one car per green each when it’s absurd
all right fine there should be more I think it should say walk off one lamp do you know that there is an exit it is I think the the right before the bar and makes it it’s two cars there are two and three green because everybody’s trying to get on a date for cars go right now so if I if I if I if I’m behind one of two cars and I’m I’m in a lot of cars yes speakers two cars for greenage well thank you mr. infrastructure no not you
looking at a big map on a wall of like a 70s officer like looks like the I-5 getting a little red by Cahuenga cars per Greenridge Lane to 2
I’m trying to help you out and this is the Impractical my car Brandon
I think that they’re I think they’re nervous they’re like how can we ease congestion help me out really it’s me and them against who is Zeus
is there none of the other team who is
gimme a Break
they love you know you don’t they let you know they love to make it like an ALT right lane traffic
okay alright buddy all right pick a lane I’d say to them
anyways no they’re not on anyone’s side
I don’t doubt their intelligence as we all saw a singles what was Campbell Scott character wasn’t he in charge but looking at traffic when mixing up a bunch of black 90s movies have come on a 45 year old character in singles definitely study traffic look it up
but that’s presented as an occupation if you guys like oh if you do this
good people
who would take that job to put a sign on an on-ramp that says hey put your left foot in your right foot out do the hokey pokey then you can get on the freeway home by 5 no dude come on
go to Capitol Hill get your get your get your money tell him what you tell him there needs to be too fucking ramps I agree with you on that that’s what I was trying to make your day by letting you know that they exist all right well we already talked about so many more cars that’s two more comments right oh yeah you know that light it gets a yellow
I thought that would get a bigger Rihanna I’m not going to warm you up for them I’m going to bring them out you’re going to love them and you’re going to be like I feel bad about the lukewarm response I had the time for the show
this is a better show than it was and it was going to happen and I will deserve it but you but you’re going to get some great people are going to make some new friends you’re going to love our conversation go home and tell that to your dumb parents
terrible people there so great covered with an Irate and carry some of your nice I’m sure
I wrote down apologizing to miss his mom for jumping off the garage roof of plastic bags I think I probably told that story though I think when trying to get Mom and right cuz it was like I remember me and my best friend like we we were jumping off the garage roof his garage roof with the Hefty bags like she wanted to see if it likes load our descent and someone saw us doing it and told my mom I think my mom’s response was I’m taking you over there and you’re going to apologize
for being seen by her putting myself in danger that’s not what she wanted but
some moms
I don’t know I look at it like right now like what would you do Dan might be the worst dad and I’m twice that age do you have to get up there and jump 20 times in a row garage with a hefty bag and be like
let’s shoot it I don’t know I don’t know what he’ll think I prefer quiet now I’m locked in it that way we talked about this I saw it I got excited I predicted like this is going to lock you in like what happens the day I have had it I’ve been like you know I’m a little late I’m on my way from here to there and I actually love to talk to somebody that little chatty tonight I’m going to look at the thing I really like for someone to talk to me they already says I prefer quiet by default I’m not going to talk to me that poor fucker you no talk to me also means hey if you want to talk I know but it like that it’s creepy to not talk to each other in the car
I love it if you sit the way I said I said but I was just stare at the driveway and the front seat I appreciate that you’re trying your friends will bring them out one of the time just because we don’t want them to compete but what goes first bring out a I’m not going to call her close friend but I am going to call her like somebody that I never and it looks like I don’t know there’s a thing whatever I’m not going to over talk at want you to give her her credits cuz she’s amazing and I met her through Jeff kind of the Jungfrau Community like right on he’s mine I don’t know how much is a lot to talk about you she’s been working on to the Jordan Peele Twilight Zone show
Fran Campbell yeah
I put my gas stomach seat but yeah
a Heather Anne Campbell Heather man
looking good back of the van what now okay
and that tracks well I’ll freeze belt against gross that’s my rule how about how are you thanks for thanks for coming out and visiting I’m good how are you do you like I felt like the last time that we sent down is like 2 hours of video game talk and I did most of the listening which blew my mind video games we play more video games then they I mean I’d play a lot of bad ones now but I used to play really good video games and it was really great and fun and I think we talk about those times we talked about the old times the new times the third person times the first person time you got a new podcast called the how did this get played where your it’s as the name would imply thank you very much thank you for your kind of haven’t listened to it so like you want to describe
play a terrible video game and then we talked about it with a guest and the guests also plays the terrible video game and there are infinite terrible video games to the show will last forever and all of time does it does the guests get to pick a pick and they have chosen but generally they’re like I don’t know whatever and then we tell them well enjoy Leisure Suit Larry and they’re like hope you like playing that again new games old games it’s actually really nice to pull out all of my old video game systems I pulled out my old Dreamcast for a recent episode that hasn’t been released yet and I was intimidated cuz you post a photo of like a fucking
engine also that like a wrench on cars and shift I have a problematic car and I try to take care of it I’ve learned how to sew I drive a 1978 Datsun 280Z and he’s a new post and I was like
it’s amazing I sealed over this is going to break your heart I had the sunroof patched okay you’re right cool but so the car has a fuel injection system so that lines go over the top of the engine and one day I started it and gasoline spread all over my windshield and it was terrifying cuz that means I could die so I’ve learned how to fix that problem so that is the only wrenching that I do on my engine and the rest of the time I usually have it towed to a point in there in three sentences about you doing something wrong with a car I was like oh you would have bullied me in high school
cuz you’re like brave enough to fucking turn the key or whatever the hell like your way around things
really what were you in high school was your archetype dragonlance nerd I used to what I read a lot of dragonlance and I played D&D with a guy who would draw his maps on lambskin
he also had a full suit of armor so he was like I did I did that okay so there’s no going to be a big was your high school like how many Pines my high school is 400 kids total and it was not a good it was not a good place I hated it very much for hundred kids means that there’s a there’s a social allowance for one our kid you are the D & D V D & D video game kid so I was hard to be a video game kid when there’s only one allowed
you know you really want another DND kids at least
nerds that way I spend so much time in middle school being ended D&D never played it like I literally like my whole identity was I had redeemed t-shirts that I bought at gencon they would the Milwaukee so I’ve been kind of Jason like I I bought I bought these D&D sweatshirts there and there were those they alternated between them and I I had these AT&T bucks but I didn’t play with anybody I would say that was just my identity it was just me saying step off or you’ve already stepped off and it was my idea first it was just it was it was it was almost as satisfying but then in high school I thank God I had a 600 students high school but I transferred to and that admit that there were three nerds allowed and they found me and I
my brain Blossom cuz we would get together I met these guys we would get together and play D&D for from 3 to 9 p.m. that’s great that’s heartwarming but you did that with by the way thank you for letting me be a guest on your show me they were blah black sweatshirts and they were just the illustrations from the covers of the second edition 8-bit paintings whatever the cover of Unearthed Arcana the cover of the dungeon Master’s guide the cover of the player’s handbook I think I had those three sweatshirt that’s really they were they were they were jet-black they were dandruff extreme accentuating it was like a backlight on my shoulders everywhere I went just a big sign that said
buddy then back off ladies did it work with being a i r u c marketable to me you your beautiful made it for like not a nerd me frankly I sold out as soon as I could like your you still stick to your guns you like ties play and like you use your fucking like it’s infused in your life you can’t Joy from our Legacy
you think that I should have given up those things that I couldn’t make it you didn’t have you
it is those things no it’s not listen to this interview was terrible you’re not hear you yeah I don’t know that you your and eyelids lake lake let that that that’s what you are and like you do you do you have anxiety about yourself some shit or is it like what I see is when I get right now I am having anxiety are you swallowing down and security the worst the best thing about like be I think about being like an improviser for example is that I don’t ever have to be myself I couldn’t I can’t imagine being like a stand up and it took a lot of it was a lot of like mental homework to do a podcast cuz I was like over the course of like 20 episodes people are going to figure out who
I am and they’re going to hate that person and some of the comments have gotten there really quickly and then there aren’t they know who I am they hate me but the other things that you think people are going to like what it what what is that kite tail if you carry with you where you like cuz I I feel about you is that you’re worried people are going to show me where is so much of my minor de my fandom all of those things on my sleeve but I am always afraid my imposter syndrome manifest as I don’t know enough about any of the things that I actually love like when people see that I drive that car and then I fixed it up twice they’re like oh she’s a Gearhead but I’m not a Gearhead and if you’re like I’m not going to stand up to that fucking truth don’t ask me a bunch of fucking Gearhead questions are you going to shame me
the only thing that I feel like I could like go pretty deep on his video games and then even that yeah that’s
that’s a good picture of Divergent people love it when women talk about video game hate it so much that it changed politics
so began there
but but you I mean so have you is just regarding that like in terms of your relationship with like other people’s opinions and your identity and stuff are there epiphanies that you’ve come into over the last 5 years that you could share with me like like you’re talking about yourself being out there being visible you having an identity people having opinions about it what’s your relationship with that how is that changed from 2009 to now
so
a decade ago I was writing for video game magazines and there were very vocal I feel like I was I got a trailer for gamergate in the kinds of language that met me when I was a video game journalist there were places that really really ruthlessly called me a dumb cunt and diatribes of stuff and I was like oh this is unfamiliar and then after I stopped being a game journalist and sort of disappeared into a comedy for the next few years every time I’d like poke my head up out of that that water and somebody would be like bitch and I go back under I feel like I said remember so I feel like that I was really lucky to get a preview of it before it came down like a sledgehammer on everybody later so
would be what I should have learned is that like I was very I’ve always been very internet like I love internet so much I was a prodigy like on a black and white screen in my house in like with posting on Prodigy forums back in the day like always I mean I didn’t shut off the penniless difficulty the password Microsoft ergonomic cuz that’s how I mean like a girl who’s like the mom and dad will you give me an aeronomic keyboard didn’t know if you were a hacker you had more keyboards and more screen Packer I was like a phone phone freak phree phone calls
you sound like a whistle or something I was just I was just seeing finding codes on bbs’s and then we go like oh this is a code you can type in and then you get you get free long-distance number and then like I don’t even know if it was true or if my parents are just like oh good he’s not gay I don’t I don’t know I have no idea I was excited about that person listen in on your conversations hackanything I was a programmer I was very into Commodore 64 basic programming I was at basic cable where we at
gem shows all about let me know I mean what I got there was an indication of actually like way before like long ago you’ve dwelt among like environments where you can’t please everybody all the time as more than just a comforting platitude if you don’t win a competition at school it’s like an actual thing you have to live with that that’s what you’re describing is like you were acid washed and and so is it that is in these many years later are you
is there a philosophy that you carry with you where you like don’t don’t read the comments or fuck them if they can’t take a joke or don’t drink the haterade or like what is the is there any guiding philosophy at the risk of giving up my my bit which will then I think make it ineffective is it any time since somebody said something terrible to me online I reply with Okay I will do that or yes thank you I agree and usually they’re like okay like I said like if somebody’s like you’ve got a fucking terrible smile which I got, twice like this girl shouldn’t fucking smile she’s got terrible smile and I was like I also hate my smile and I wish that I didn’t have it and then after that they’re like
it’s not that bad I don’t give it up cuz it’s like God that is the one fear but it yeah I see I feel like we’ve all gone through that phase and it’s always yielded results and I think I just might my fear is what bumps me off of that path just going like but like not attacking the person back what is that that’s exactly it just being like either nothing at all or even better likes going to miss my dick so small that the water would do like it always works yeah why do we stop doing it cuz we have a bad day I don’t know clever and we want to fire back I got good jokes and just in time too and let him fly
it’s time to bring out professional comedy from Rick and Morty writer
bus run on SNL but not the same here. I didn’t get hired along with a bunch of my buddies who got hired and then I was working with Heather at the time
and she had just gotten fired from it and I was not renewed its different writers in TV you just don’t pick up their option that’s what happened and it was fired okay great fired but make no mistake female plus what if we like how you like your job of being an X and play we may fire you again
yeah they didn’t like me as an employee as an ex-employee either cuz they didn’t fire me again but you told me a lot of terrible stories that made me feel good about not getting hired
and then I got hired and I was like Heather doesn’t know shit and then I had a terrible year
suicide dream dreams where I just bite people really hard
makes me feel good you have a dream that you’re the guy being bit know that’s working on SNL and then I knew that you were right the whole time and every everybody has a different experience their hours was the same season set along with comedy 46 it’s its own thing it’s more like a sport like there aren’t seasons of sports yeah yeah it’s good everybody loves it when they’re ten years old then their head when they destroyed in 70 in there like this sucks now get back on the show so if we can
move the conversation here’s a here’s a compression of a guy who got fired from SML 5 years ago and can’t stop talking about it that’s one with a hammer head
I’m going to nail you told me you do an incredible Viola Davis
of course in that of course is as we all know the woman who is half violin but the baby will be more enamored with my lack of knowing who Viola Davis is at least currently I thought it was where your better pieces thank you
I know I don’t I don’t know who that is
all right let’s go in
what who is your maybe I do I’m about to head to make her feel no carburetor she’s a famous dungeon master now I feel bad
it’s time for our lightning round we’re going to go around round robin with a guest and talk about their experience with breast cancer will start with Heather and thank you recently like like it was it was just fucking like it hit you like a truck I don’t want to be crass by and when
let it go first
but like with a weak type of it from start to finish my eyes like hey you should get a mammogram at some point for like a baseline you know and I was like okay sure and I went in for my first mammogram and they were like God for you every time I go to the doctor I’m like oh they’re going to I’m dying for sure I’m dying at the dentist and so they were like well so all of these things these are calcium and usually that forms around the tumor or did you work on SNL at all I did I did I did work on it was it was as exciting but yeah so they were like you you have stage 3 breast cancer and I do like there’s only four for is politely sorry but like it’s over
over over if you are in your listening and you still can completely pull out and kind of like a video game I was not playing on casual or normal but it was a matter of minutes until stage 4 and there’s a big difference between stages so I
one-on-one let’s see I want it on a Thursday and by Thursday of the next week I was seeing a surgeon and then less the next time I’m prepping you that I will do all that the Staffing and they were like oh you know we would recommend are a double mastectomy and I was like okay great and they’re like you don’t want to consult and I was like know so I can let go so I can cut him off so then they they did it then then she’ll less than a month from mammogram to surgery and I had a double mastectomy and then and that was that and I didn’t tell anybody I had of time like I didn’t post on Instagram or anything because I didn’t I really didn’t want anyone to worry and I also didn’t want to be identified as the you know as the person who had glad I can help thank you
done and the only I think the only truly scary thing they’re too scary moments one with I came out of surgery and I didn’t feel well and I like of course you don’t feel well and I was like no I don’t have I really don’t feel well and they have like trains that go in your rib cage to drain like all the fluid from what is a hugely traumatic injury to your body and one of the it’s it it’s the cuz you didn’t do chemo for the first week 2 weeks 1 week after you have been flying in your body is like it’s going like I’ve been traumatized so you have these dreams that are hanging out of you and one of them was filling up with like really dark red liquid it like darker than blood and I said that can’t be right now it’s fine. Can we talk to my surgeon and they’re like no it’s fine and then like an hour and a half later is like I really don’t feel well can we please just for my own mental well-being get my surgeon back in and she can
like that’s fine and she came in and went oh no and if we have to bring you back in immediately we have to bring you back your bleeding internally and so I had to go under again within that was scary like that’s when my Dad cried and stuff like that was rough for everyone my girlfriend fainted and that was scary cuz that there were there like you’re not supposed to go under twice in a day and you know if your bleeding internally it’s much worse than cutting off your boobs so that was that was scary and and then I think I was it after that I was fine though when you described it to me you’re like January blah blah blah I got the thing and it was like and then the number of days was like from start to finish January 7th to February 18th was the entirety of my cancer Journey before you’re like Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah time to have a formal play date with a
telegram like just to do my due diligence and then boom worst news ever accept a little later and then experienced this barely anybody listening is going to have his leg until later which is like holyshit this might be it and one thing that you said to me that you’re going to be a different person on the other side of this journey and it can be really great to meet that person and so there was a part of me that was like oh this trauma is going to make me realize something and I got to the other side of it and there was nothing I was the same person and I was like okay I’m going to fuel on a daily basis I’m going to have more gratitude or more like
fear and there was nothing it was the same miserable person on the other side just like well so I can get back to work so what was your relationship with Oblivion but the important thing is it didn’t change right your relationship was like whatever and then you were kind of surprised to find out on the other side of this
things that happened during the thing which is my therapist said you should pray and I was like haha and she’s like no even if you don’t sit there a scientific studies that show that prayer works as a healing prayer makes you heal and I was like yeah but I’m pretty sure you have to believe in actual thing and she’s like no you can believe in the study so pray to scientifically it works then you’re praying to the results and so forth like that month I prayed to the study like I was her night I was like you know please study Harvard Journal of Medicine
put as the thing you’re praying too and your Tobey Maguire
Spider-Man and me through this so I prayed to that thing I prayed to like the idea of prayer as a as a as a as a self is that the right word self thank you
the other thing was that I got really sad about music was I guess something to change cuz I would assume that would come on that I really loved and I was like man there’s a possibility I’m not going to hear the song More Than like 5 more times and that bum me out like everything else is okay like I was too stressed out to eat and so I wasn’t like manifesting is like oh I should eat my last meal although that did occur to me but then I was like wow look at that didn’t I mean I’m not I don’t want to take that didn’t change you into a Glade Great Lake but it’s like you didn’t
I don’t I don’t mean my question to be like you wouldn’t you what are you some kind of freak I mean you’re my hero because it was like when you told me that I’m like oh God you’re yeah cuz that’s my biggest fear is it is like. The know the not feeling shit o the stuff where you go like always or something like I’m not like the other person this fairy tale story about when I get this and then I overcome that then I’m supposed to feel this and you got like oh that’s not me that’s not how I’m feeling well maybe maybe it could be that for you you’re already living in a way where the thing that most people transform into you’ve already actualized and that’s sort of what I would like a prison was already closed because of my diet
but your honor haven’t been to people you’ve heard
I mean that’s kind of hard when I talk to people about it like my therapist I was like you know I was looking forward and it didn’t happen and she was like what you all you talk a lot about death before you got this diagnosis I feel like you lived with it as a presence in your life like you talked about like well I got to go on this vacation that is a little bit more expensive than I want to because what if I die next week and then I won’t have done it so and it was sort of I have watched for a while called ticker which I got up Kickstarter and it you went online and you failed in all of this stuff about your life and all of your habits and your like heart rate and everything and then it counts down from your expected death day until it ran out of batteries did it couldn’t count that I’ve been diagnosed with
don’t know you could like at a cancer diagnosis to and it would probably but yeah it would be like well you know that’s going to happen sometime hopefully in 60 years or whatever and then so I should go eat shrimp
Rutherford what are your near-death what’s your relationship with Des
I can’t I can’t follow that man this is just open for her next thing
do lobsters have Nixon getting fucked a little
I was at my parents house this weekend are you afraid to die
God damn I didn’t do it and I got and I that’s their problem but how you can and you will Jesus this is this is the worst podcast in for me I know I am being attacked at all crunch voices and the funny cat and now I’m thinking about things and the audience isn’t laughing a lot and I know that I do what do I do with my parents for a weekend. He’s a thoughtful tonight they’ve been that way since the beginning it was it was a little jarring at the top of the show but they’re thoughtful they’re listening they’re sincere they’re here for the Long Haul and they’d like to know if you’re afraid of death
I didn’t they don’t want your what will my ex ex girlfriend would call what did she call it the deflection yeah we hate that that guy you don’t know if you’re going to die I am confident I don’t I don’t think about it that’s how I deal with death I do whatever I want to do when I want to do it as long as not hurting somebody than I do that and if I find I’ve heard somebody I try my best to kill them so they can’t tell anybody do you worry about anything happening after you die you know I think
now I’m getting real guys Buckle in like a little thing of energy and it into a flower or somewhere and maybe you’re not aware of that but you’re still at flower or your worm on another planet or something I don’t know so that’s comforting to me and sister were Mario flower I’ll be happy with either of those but I have I mean I don’t think about it either that’s my solution is rain isn’t it yeah I don’t I can’t imagine it getting so mad at my fiance her dog is dying all dogs are dying we’re all dying if you have a dog right now you have subscribed to death all dogs are dying with them
all dogs are going to have today because Cody was upset because the dog like disappeared in the yard and she was like Barbara Barbara where are you and then I can’t handle Cody handling a dog’s death and I keep thinking to myself like you harm and you got to get your shit together you have chosen a woman you’re going to spend the rest of your life with that means probably you maybe her shouldn’t matter one of you is going to watch the other person get sick and wander around to the yard of my ability to address to G’s like you don’t talk to me like that
whole yard before you going to hit
like election night I told you and Larry was going to win
it it I get upset when she’s upset and so like like this ain’t you like living with a partner with you with a partner when you yes we was really hard I’m dating this girl Mary and she was really very very she’s not here. She’s working she doesn’t listen to this show she she she was waiting for me when I was getting the mammogram and I was like oh my god I’ve got to be the doctor now I like going and be like I got low and I was like so okay this isn’t easy news today but yeah so she was she was incredible because there were times where they would think the doctors would be rattling off shit and I’ll be like I don’t care just tell me what when the appointment is I don’t need to know any
options or any that she wrote it all down in a journal and now I have this like Journal of like everything said to me during the whole thing she was phenomenal she was unbelievable I don’t think I could have done it as well without her and this is the is it is it okay to talk a little bit about this. This is the the partner that we we we talked about like that that that relationship right the one that you still in yes I assume I don’t I mean he’s still in a relationship or Christian I cannot just Christian like secular Christian like she thinks Jesus is coming back for reals
when are you coming back and my mother was this close to being a nun Catholic and Catholic High School okay so are you a Believer because I grew up in a neighborhood a city that was very Jewish and I watched people observe every Saturday and then I observed from like 6 in the morning until
maybe four if I had to actually feed people after church so you think Heather is going to hell because you’re sure about that
weight training and then you decide what you want to do with it
how many
faith is a like it’s sort of like we were like people introduce it to you and then you can pick the strain that you like and how it affects your body and how much you really want to smoke all day you don’t have to smoke all day you can smoke at parties Methodist makes me sleepy are Baptists just my paranoia gives me a headache but I love it I think that’s real I mean that to me not that my opinion fucking matters but that is the actual way to be Christian which I I would actually then like start to merge with that freeway when it’s like the Joseph Campbell thing where it’s like I don’t I don’t truck with like with the hierarchy is telling me the older men of my church. It doesn’t go up to any kind of thing so they got it’s like politics were like some of the shit is amazing the good that gets done and then and then it’s not some of the ships garbage actual just
straight up corruption and garbage like I go to church now in the church that I go to was able to get to Haiti before any other relief organization because there were doctors in the church and there are pilots in the church never able to commandeer x-ray machines and planes and get on the ground first I do I try to do charity but you can sometimes if you really want to do charity you have to join the church cuz their got this incredible infrastructure so like if you’re trying to save people from New Orleans when the floods happen like the first places that were on the ground and I were able to get supplies out or Church’s so it’s sort of comes in handy and there’s that prayer thing that works your partner is like like like she’s also a playwright which already Christian playwright like I like I’m like and she’s a showrunner now she’s got a show on Hulu
move to New York and film it and I’m a mr. Because I don’t live to live two are really angry about the news about it nobody take my other way for me to show end of September and I was like come on the show everybody get on the show hurry up Jesus Christ for ending it and now you’re now I’m going to get in December
I love you guys both but yeah I know Nick is Nick is sitting in the in the in the less favorable seat and he’s like he’s playing it up like a gentleman like he’s kind of gone like well I don’t have anything I can’t like button with my story about Burt Reynolds anything wrong with your awesome German grade I don’t know what I can’t relate to this conversation and Rick and Morty and he’s like a wonderful big super fucking cool guy at like like like right now in The Matrix where the bullet is going by you you have a Christian playwright girlfriend
story she’s there with you he was at she she was like I want to go get my first haha well that went about as bad as it can go and then she’s in a relationship could go from there one of the boys this is why I don’t know I’m not, I don’t know I’m thinking about what a nightmare would be if she’s like in New York and she’s like oh I want to listen I missed I would have been it’s just me being like Mary said was I won’t let me go let me refine it would I want to hear about your relationship with her her face does that make sense that you’re an atheist you’re having this specific experience with Oblivion but you happen to be life Partners at the time with this person who has this other Faith which can take all forms and then that that’s the thing that I’m interested in when you’re like face
this thing in like the other person that has a completely different theoretical opinion about trajectory be the kind of guy who was angry at cuz I grew up very Christian and then I read the Bible and then I was no longer Christian and
so I might experience was like so I know ton of about Christianity and and and specifically I was raised Lutheran and they’re very dogmatic and so I knew a lot of like the Dogma that the crunch of religion and then so the Linux of the touch of mouse Catholics would use a mouse
command line kneelers are good like the kneelers are good but the mouse we don’t but it’s so when I first came out of it I was very angry at Christians cuz I was like how how have you not done your homework like just do your fucking homework and you’ll see that this is all ridiculous and then I
read this boy saying this is a form of arrogance and narcissism
but I realized that it was narcissistic and arrogant to tell other people that I knew more about what they had experience in life than they had and
from that elevated position
I decided that if I was to truly be a nihilist if it when it came to the afterlife and our experience of the present then I had there was no difference between being Christian and being an atheist yes Queen so then I was like this is great news Christian great as well
because none of it doesn’t matter anyway so yeah that was how it that’s how I felt about it is that you go to church with her I went to the church for the first time in more than 20 years ago I found it really Charming Man I really expected expected to be deeply uncomfortable and have like a lot of social anxiety in that space and instead I was like this is kind of a great like meditation camp like everybody sleep standing and sitting at the same time and it’s we went to the one on on Highland behind Hollywood
that’s why I said yeah that’s a lot of guilt over how how good you’ve got me and me and Vince Gilligan like give each other communion
Harry Potter heads up each other’s asses and pull it out and I totally do it again because it was she really really really like it so I adjusted Furniture I thought it was a good time
everybody everybody she knew was praying for me and they would like text me that they were praying for me and all her friends are very Cristian and I have no Christian friends so it’s like they would be like we’re praying for you and then I talk to my therapist about it and she was like well that’s not good because because if so there’s another study where other people are praying for you you’re more likely to die whether you’ve clearly dying people no more like a blind study and like if if you know what he saying to you and you end up and you then you’re more likely to live and if even if you don’t know the person and they don’t know you’re praying for them you’re more likely to die wait come on what is this about you and other people care about you then you die but if you
you only care about you then you live I believe in that guy stole my heart stopping while I say that is that a Lutheran thing like
you’ll Blasphemous when you do bits about anything that like in that area myself in my head secretly quietly was like I don’t believe in God I was sure I was going to die in immediately and then nothing happened for years one through the deep fry of Christianity of a practice because you had to ditch it basically was like you don’t even have to go to church your family just has to be fucking repressed infused into them the idea that Jesus Christ is Freddy Krueger and he will get you but fuck you
that’s my that’s my personal testimony and according to today’s politics I get to stay at cuz I’m technically Lutheran it started with a good idea Bible should be in German now look at it you know what is a rhubarb pie weight what it doesn’t matter it doesn’t matter
doesn’t matter let’s move on religious
yeah I don’t want it I don’t want to hear what is de la ciudad de Mexico City I know. I haven’t yet and did you when did you stop going to church as soon as I got confirmed really cap and so we would go on like major holidays and stuff but he was just seems like a big ritual and I just don’t like a big everybody
what is being confirmed being confirmed means that Jesus likes you come on The Late Comer Catholic course we’re like it was like they keep changing you have to go through to everybody’s got like another Baptist Baptist Town everybody what to do
this is why the Catholics don’t like Baptist
everybody’s got to write a passage about 12-13 even even Jews so why is it and that’s what I’m saying it’s a reinforcement that you’re a sort of involved in the church and you’re able to do things in the church that sort of like I said are you coming and you had to click the link again I like freaking out tube to know what you are accepting and Confirmation is a confirmation of the things that you accepted in your soul we were baptized now I know it’s a little bit of bulshit but all the way down
stop that shit they’re going to lose to that if you give an ex a little just a little different they put a little water on YouTube
cry like a remember some water getting dribbled on me but I’m Lutheran that would be confirmation but I ate way 804 the cracker or the wine and then like they came back to the seat every was like I can’t believe you did that all my God I’m like what are you talking about they’re like you ate the crackers and drank the wine like the rest of the day it was like what did I do I did something wrong and now everyone’s happy
I know you like when up and I did two things or something and they know I wasn’t a baby this isn’t my baptism story this is like Migo you remember the baptism is well water for you. I want to get this straight I I have a memory of some water being trickle-down my head I don’t know what that was
thank you be really anything
what are you guys smoking cigarettes ever and then I was running into that and you guys are picturing a baby but now the second memory was but there was something about communion in like a thing with the wine or something it doesn’t matter matters a lot to some people Brandon but he got
who has the shortest weddings Greek Orthodox is the longest who’s the shortest wedding imagine that like four people
is there like American people what about whether you believe there was a favorable opinion about there should be Greek nope you’re not going to think that you’re going to be like I got better things to do to our wedding is at jet Like Jesse from Full House
he’s like oh yeah yeah I guess I’m here waiting with the Greek Orthodox I’ll put your ass in the ground I don’t know any Greek Orthodox people there’s going to do okay in a Greek Orthodox wedding where the Virgin Mary movie January
is there an SNL character in grease or Orthodox Greek will you please tell us about your new show on Adult Swim Rick and Morty and
I have no idea what you’re talkin about is dream Corps Bella talked about I don’t let anyone work on anything else
you’re about to get fired again
and it just got canceled so I’ll check it out on Hulu
it was super fun it was the best job I ever had and did you wrote on it as well I wrote on it it’s a really good time and give a fuck get the stuff so I just want to say check out the other stuff at weddings
figured you were in that you were the whitest guys you know what was you’re saying the window sills what was the Sphinx
it’s called Good Neighbor that was his impromptu excellent Rick and Morty venison Alabama dream house that we all know Rob’s Rob not very sure he is I walk into the writers room and then it’s just 20 minutes of me and Travis yelling at each other
and everyone’s like what’s happening yeah it’s a lot of that but when you’re not there which is most of the time
did Rob and me yelling at each other so that’s okay too but have fun with a space to do that. Tell me what you think
Heather have you ever been friends with Robert Rob he’s like a lion and there’s gasoline 11
that really is right that’s Brandon’s impression of starting Rob Travis a car going to kill me I
bathtub full of apologizing you set an alarm has been able to have anywhere I I have one thing about you which is that you were the featured singer in Improv Everywhere musical Wikipedia and I was like I remember improv in anywhere in like for Improv Everywhere and that’s what this is yeah and I was in a bit and for whoever it is that the choices made on my Wikipedia what the Highlight its baffles me like there’s
web series I did it like 2007 that’s got like Prime placement but yeah so there we went down to a mall here I don’t even know the name of the mall it was not like a it was not the Grove or the Americana or it was like I’m all I had to work as a hot dog on a stick girl for the entirety of the day and the manager came from Central management and taught me how to do the the job and I had an earwig in and at some point during the day that your wig would go and that was the sound of of that was go and the nose of the beeping was Mikey and then I had to start singing to whoever
I was serving and then I would leap over the counter and eventually the entire food court would turn into a full musical for half of the people there you know one of those pranks without any nobody thinks he’s not being recorded on camera yeah I’m going to tell them that there’s shit in his car yeah I would like the people get into the elevator in the elevator floor drops out like that’s a nightmare that’s why I’m so they just go to a guy and say there’s shit on your car and it doesn’t know they’re on camera and they’re the Mark I like the least you could do is Elevate that person I don’t want to hear more about this show that I’ve already talked about my feelings about Frank
that was I mean that was it and there was like so I sang a song and we did too because you had to wait until the ball cleared shopping in the mall here’s this event happening and they’d be like what the fuck is happening in The Improv Everywhere it’s a trick she going to start singing Everybody did we was ours that’s why I had to know how to do the job because of the hats that they’re so tall 70s like
conceptual movie about that definitely not even arguably but definitely more people on the payroll then there were civilians allowing them like Improv Everywhere started with the idea of like like we’ll set up on the street corner in there about normal people They can and then and then they’re like okay well everyone involved and it waiver like packing looks like you’re doing actual work and you’re waiting for that’s amazing to me well if you would like all freeze at the same time the fucking pressure the what if your what was your stock weight was it was the song written the song was written and it was acapella for the first like
two three measures important person
so if they started screaming the n-word at you like if they’re like I have a feeling and they’re like
because they’re from 4chan and they’re like let’s culture Jam like and then it was like all right the day is shot reset and waited cuz there was there was three attempts but only two takes and the one of the attempt the woman was on her cell phone when she ordered and her hand just started shaking and she wouldn’t look up from her phone because she thought she was going I think you could have driven holyshit her phone oh my God but thinking right here the big smile knowing that everyone is watching you is absolutely symptomatic of like fucking yet you could have driven someone to snap so we we didn’t use that failed like I don’t know like that so yeah if if it had gone wrong
are you telling me you guys didn’t get the safety that was a PA going up and going
I’ve been there other Prime shows where we have a road for kids show where they they used a couple things in the desert
don’t know what’s the what’s the thing that you were at incredible crew and they said it’s over cuz there were a couple times where they couldn’t get a reaction out of a regular person I got your nose yeah yeah I mean like did we was dumb but it was a little more elevated than that but yes I’m picking my butt while making your smoothies
we’re like there was a the girl with a dog and a cat and a like a carrier or Carrier and not built like going crazy and like people didn’t care like they were just like me and it’s like who cares about that person’s dog so you had to have somebody go up and be like Oh know which one to other people to be like huh feel good to watch was the Allen Funt Playboy channel prank show that he did like I don’t know it’s 12 episodes of and it was like and now I’m fine and I’m famous for candid camera but I’m doing this Playboy show it was like the budget was an $500 so it’s basically just like any guy who answered an ad that was like you can work the today for this amount of money which is like more money than he was ever going to get
they they tell him your job is to sit at this desk in this identical ridiculous shity sparse office building room and if anything happens is give me a call and the guy they just all they do is just 12 episodes of guys sitting in an office and then naked women would come in or women that would come in fully close and then when they heard they had to wait they would get naked or like guys that were like magicians they would generate a naked woman it was just like 12 variations on a naked lady and the guy reacting with the guy was never the mark the guy would always be like in Denmark in that show Alan Funt voice that’s actually talking to him because why wouldn’t he if he was available why wouldn’t he have been part of the show as a fifteen-year-old who was busy jerking off to all the other
Playboy channel contact I was like Matt’s thinking about it but I was like this is a good prank show because Alan Funt was basically calling these guys on the phone and going how’s it going over there and the guy would go I don’t know there’s a naked lady what the fuck are you talkin about
I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know why he wants to know why are you naked
what is going to be best to be do be in the movie Mario fuck is going on over there
a picture with just your refractory period between jerking off okay this is a good transition the only unscrambled 1 years older than you
I ate it anyways so what’s what’s it like to be a lesbian any order
God damn if I can only be one it’s really beautiful I’m sure you tell you how it really is I think it’s like a Millennium Falcon go ahead I didn’t know you have a real answer me I don’t I don’t I don’t I don’t participate in lesbian culture I hate it I hate it so much because I don’t identify a gay woman who doesn’t identify as a gateway
I don’t know what is probably impossible to identify as wood would wood anything right because of it but but but I talked about his relationship with four former status as long as we’re there cuz it’s like there’s a part of you we had this conversation two years ago feels like you were not out but you hadn’t come out so for a long time I was out to be know anybody who I knew that but then I was not out like on social media or anything because I didn’t want it to be my yeah I don’t I don’t want to I don’t want to be a gay writer I don’t want to be a gay comedian or like I’d be a loser give me the end of that works for me but like I don’t I don’t think about it at all and I don’t have any lead in it at all like I don’t feel like I did anything.
this is about being Jewish and his age like fucking owner of like whatever are you at war with the sir at war with that but like Sarah’s never she’s not hiding from her Judaism but at the same time I remember her saying back then was like oh I like when it like in my the Jewish this some of the Jewish that or am I am I just all of this other stuff and on top of that I’m Jewish obviously there’s a new school of thought were like identity is like all of the pride that you take in your gender / sexual identity / personal identity all those things are like important because then you are also demonstrating a confidence to younger generations and and providing the I don’t feel like I owe those people in that
a year ago so I came out a year ago in large part because I felt like hiding my relationship with my girlfriend was denying that I was in a relationship with my girlfriend like I would talk about literally everything else I got talked about like going to the fucking hospital or like you know anyting but I wouldn’t I didn’t ever talk about my relationships online and it’s sort of came to a place where it’s like this is weird like it’s it’s actively weird right now with other Comics do which is involved their life in their work and then now I’m out and I know it’s nothing changed nothing
that way it’s a nightmare
I don’t like this line of questioning again yes I did I asked it but it’s the same expect there to be a transformation at the end of that journey and there isn’t one in the Royal you I can’t I don’t even know who you are where is Drew Carey’s improv-a-ganza together and see each other. So we can’t ever be on the same episode and if you were on screen with Jeff Davis when you me and he
won an Emmy for Chris Hardwick we gave them their emmy-winning episode where they make sure clap its fruit of the poisoned tree what’s happening what are we supporting with this applies for a true well at the at the
goddamn professionally off the goddamn throat but it doesn’t mean anything’s Jordan Peele does even show up around there at Twilight Zone because you know what I think it’s this time should be less Twilight and by the way that’s like Rick and Morty anymore
the last episode of the show shows up less than I do for sure is he’s there every every day he said he’s there every day on Monday in the room is there that’s the truth does he have a World Book for a Twilight Zone in his movies he made like extensive World Books world of his episode of big Bible Bible that helps kind of like direct ideas in the show
Lake Jordan Peele is for Real in the Twilight Zone writers are in every single
he’s just hanging out working you wouldn’t want to hang out there is the fuc
for a while he was there sometimes he’ll tell you done wrong but that’s okay if they’re not Staffing getting over there well that is my next question
you yeah
Batman funny but everybody still laugh is weird Rift I’m seeing triple of everything you’ve been a sketch Raiders room so like for real like in it post Black Mirror world like this Twilight Zone thing happens like what is there any insight you can give us to like what the difficulty is when you’re in a Raiders room working on Twilight Zone you’re nicer I didn’t interrupt but I wanted to say that was it
so the I can’t I don’t know what I can the NDA for that show as fuck that fucking think I can’t be that what don’t talk about anything big deal Bettencourt I’ll take the Heat
the first season was different than the second season Jordan’s there all the time and it’s I mean it’s fucking great it’s great I look it’s all of my sketch and comedy ideas were Twilight Zone ideas previous to being on the Twilight Zone they were always nightmares for whoever was in the thing like they’re not that they’re not they’re not fun the things that I wrote bad comedy were horrible nightmares and now I just don’t have to put in the last bits Graham I know it would have been nice to have I mean I’m hoping yeah really but your brain is pretty good for a horse.
I don’t know what’s wrong with you
they’re not hiring right now that’s how you get on and he’s like he comes in at like 11:30 right and he was like God damn I finally figured out how to Instagram my workout early time to come into an office I don’t think he thinks it is early I think he thinks it’s fine he’s he wants to know what the fine time you are doing it to yourself get out of that hole I mean
same time frame pictures of a monster
ear can you tonight can I pick
show me how to get on the ghost
who’s on your show is on Rick and Morty but you don’t have to talk to him
oh yeah I definitely make it easier if you’re allowed to not are you to show up in the writers room on a drama Yeah Yeah Yeahs incredible also didn’t show up for the record when Jordan Peele stop by bro
we going here I want to make this
oh yeah that’s really nice
that was a thing that broke my heart Heather by the way I know I don’t like talking is that you I mean you like me you’re like hey let’s drink and then like just by virtue of this garbage thing that you would think just shoots through your life and either leaves you living or dead and neither and then it’s like but you you’re not allowed to really drink I was a heavy and enthusiastic Drinker previous actually a few years ago I took a boxing and I was boxing so much that it was harder for me to drink so there was a nice gradient between like the years where I was like this is the thing that I love more than anything and then not being able to drink really anymore and so it was a bummer that when we finally got to sit down and have a drink as I can I get to have a beer and that’s it
yeah you complained about it the whole time what do you mean you weren’t you were you you know you were very kind and understanding of the fact that I wanted to drink and couldn’t drink but you know but you know what’s funny I was this isn’t funny to us but like I want people listen to hear this because I kind of thought it was like
I did like in short order you and I were talking about your diagnosis in your experience and stuff and then it’s like you’re coming from this Han Solo position and you’re like you’re you’re the protagonist in the story about the shit and then there was a there was a precise point when you’re like I don’t want to be that person and I don’t want people to be like contacting me and hanging out with me and treating me different because of this thing and I was like I think I think I’m doing ya know but at the same time as like that’s not deserved at all like I don’t like don’t lose nothing to do with that and it didn’t make me want to like run out in the street and stop traffic and go treat every single person you’ve ever known the way you would treat them if you just found out on Instagram that they had breast cancer and like beat it like like and it’s it’s such a corn dog thing no question but take it
you know what whatever I agree that you went through and it’s okay to like be as sad as you were about your friends diagnosis like that’s completely with Jakob Brandon we was coming yeah we made it this far for the rest of the night
I’m going to say that what was really what was really wild about that feeling and then also the the end of cancer is that like so my first I got to see exactly how long people will Mourn Me When I die because my first show back sold-out people were impressed signs and they were like
like standing ovation and then over the course of the next few months to just a few people I was like that’s exactly the Arc of when people find out that I’m dead and then when they won’t care anymore it’s like exactly 5 months but that’s right go to announce your next cancer
tell me where you going to be at the friends we’ve lost we live in a nation that is yeah well they’re famous so I’m like going That’s The Nightmare not the going from this to Oblivion it’s the actual thought maybe of own fight like like Jesus but why is that matter what you won’t be there for it but I guess it’s the well it’s it’s all I feel like if you if you are an atheist and you feel like nothing happens after you’re dead then there’s some comfort in knowing that like a memory of you lives on but it really bugs you out when you’re like even than my best friends I feel it when I think about my death as a visible person this is the one that I have is
I feel Advance animosity towards the public because I know that it doesn’t matter how I die I could get hit by a Ferrari I get a safe to follow me from from a skyscraper I will probably die of prostate cancer or a heart attack or a stroke or a God damn it are fucking bodies are designed to fail in a mine will fail but because of the life that I’ve LED because of the because I’ve been visible my my death will be marked mostly by conversations about addiction it won’t matter if I just like my pancreas just failed people have got me know if you need to talk to somebody about your love of chocolate like like diddly talked about addiction to talk about alcoholism it won’t matter if my lungs fail.
people want like they’ll that’s what I fear that up about my legacy after I died you should have combed his hair I told him beat that you won’t be here for yeah I know but I fucking hate that’s the one thing I hate is that 5 months, and like fuck you fucking cunt
what do you want I want to be like fuck you
your biggest feeling about it is that you don’t have control over my name is after me you’re allowed to my biggest fear is the is the end is that is that is that true
Bel Air
Show me fat molecule was like a little guy little guy named Marquis and Marquise was like where we going with it like break it out for me because I really think you ever think about your obituary
I do just try but I have had it right yours write your obituary make it all that can write it with this team of relax for a while and that and he was famous for this and that for the last ten years of his life he worked in the soup kitchen it’s not going to say it won’t say that it’ll stay like Clickety click any clickety clack clack write the thing that was interesting about him and the comment section don’t say anyone who needs to talk about being a big fat piece of shit
call this number it’s not cool you can talk to someone if you’re a big fat suck
it’s okay like don’t fucking die just call me until I had fun you’re going to get to be in the Montage probably be with somebody that’s basically like a fucking Emmy memoriam
pretty boss trash
I mean if it’s a busload of Blackhawk Harlem Globetrotters 12 killed at one time but I look forward to the fact that’s going to be a slight swelling Applause yeah everyone knows it’s crass it’s going to I’m going to be between Spuds MacKenzie the grip who worked on Bonanza and then was like there’s a Fraser Fraser script supervisor
because you know what I was
I was better and my death is more important than like 40 and under it and then going to be affected Spirit award I don’t think it would have been in that house. Now a man
photo of me like a guy who just died
how can I film
The praying we want you to come in and look at it roll of film like I was over you while you take a photo for a hotel for 15 minutes to clip of a crying rabbit yeah hell yeah that’s about Fame it’s useful yeah it’s the best goddamn thing created right you’re stuck here
you you fucking famous wonderful thing. I think it’s useful yeah it’s like we live in the social world and so Fame is like Social Capital you could leverage its gray I mean it’s obviously a two two-headed sword but I don’t know I like it I get recognized today I was walking and some guy was like literally a block and a half and I heard behind me dungeonmaster and I was like oh that’s cool I’m not going to turn around but that’s cool Best Buy go to Best Buy every single person at Best Buy every employee every customer just like if you want to fucking boost to me every employee won’t look to see if something’s in the back that’s the thing is like it just seems like the system is working cuz I need a USB C cable to a thing in the person just seems like
they’re like oh well let me help you with that and that is it just seems like you’re living in like heaven cuz they’re like oh they’re willing to help and then after a while they check you out there like by the way store yeah that’s why I went to the comic book store in the comic books time is a great because of the thing is like you’re not famous for punching a old lady that would be fucking great nerdy shit people that recognize you you’re like it’s done we could use you mind if I like yeah come on bring it brother you keeping me alive but Gimme Gimmes like soak me in it it’s great
do you get recognized A Little Bo Peep to run up to you and Heather Anne Campbell I had a conversation with a friend who was like his ideal level of Fame was NBA superstar like you was like I want I want to not be able to leave my house and I was like that sounds like hell to me that sounds like the actual part of it that’s bad if I go to a restaurant I want to be so famous that they have to like put me in a section and they put curtains up my side, but I love this guy for his that was his that’s his ideal level of Fame and my ideal level of Fame is exactly where I am right now which is like once in awhile at a coffee shop they’ll be like hey I really like the thing and then I was like but like most of the time I can go to a bar or restaurant with a book and nobody
talk to me that’s wonderful go to Home Depot no one’s going to tell you how to make a sword or whatever that’s what they sell there they go like they going by the way what were their hands men and women who don’t appreciate stories they’re creating their own instructions are building the stories
I get occasionally but you know I don’t I don’t know how I feel about it I like it I feel like this is weird and now it’s going to be weird yeah I had I had lunch with an ex-girlfriend who is just like we should catch up and we were having we having lunch and somebody came up and was like hell yeah hell yeah that’s what you want I want your girl when I could you do and I never do this cuz I’m so I love it I love when people say hi cuz it doesn’t happen much so I never do this but he was very bad I felt like I had the opportunity to do it and I would just like I’m having lunch with my friend right now and he was like oh course I wasn’t a dick but I was just like how I hate like I appreciate it but right now I’m trying to get the front where you walk your way and I
Tumblr is a red stripe so you did that no I was just like oh thank you thank you and then he kept going and then I was like oh you know I’m having a friend and that’s all good cuz I would never eat with my current gross and I’d never do that I would just be like having sex because I love it I love Fame but it’s all good to rub it into an ex-girlfriend space that’s that’s what you want but now she knows cuz she if she listens to this she’ll know but that’s why was your he doesn’t my fiance every time someone recognizes me in public and I really don’t know what it is
I text her as if I’m just telling it that’s all I’ll just go three recognitions Promenade she might Harden stats like I’m trying to look for Nora not inviting her to have
because sometimes I’m going to resentful of people are like what’s your bit what’s my role in it but I don’t really know what her role in it supposed to be it’s like when a bird like collects colorful rocks in feathers to Adorn The Nest don’t you like this one I’ll put that there next to their current bird male IDI say yeah honey I just talked to her about it like Cody and I’ll take a photo with the person and all the way to Cody and I feel like Kmart electronics section like a big fan but she said she’s always like she’s like she doesn’t she’s nailing it supposed to be Instagram
I don’t know it’s getting to that point I show it says airplane mode enabled Apple watch that could be I mean and don’t forget we’re going to stop doing it entirely in December so for anyone who doesn’t like this I know you’re booing the stopping of the show which is the equivalent done tonight
not bad Applause I’m not going to that site except that you guys could grab
you know that I love you
let’s not engage in an unhealthy relationship we’re going to have a finite like we’re in there for a loving one like you Countdown the ultimate answer to number for the mayor of Cleveland who do you want to be your last five guess Jerry Springer OK Google can a name for more white guys Angelou
Viola Davis Viola Davis an idea why would Mary Ann Wilson will find out next week Marie kondo that I have a few words for her cuz I’m like every kind of Nextbook was like oh shit wait cuz she keeps telling people she don’t trust anybody who preaches the gospel don’t have you know nice shit well there’s different
I think there’s different attachments where’s that where’s that DVD of Debbie Does Dallas 3 and then she’s like I do that shit back now but I like
yeah I moved from my old house to my new house and I don’t want to encourage robbers right now but I really have not been to my old house in forever so we know the most relatable podcast in the world young working class
yeah Heather Anne Campbell yeah go in the brambles I got a damn platoon of attitudes to share with you I’m going to fuck your mama like she was a promise to nutrition carrots and protein going to fuck your mama know why I buy banh mi my rap is emotional emotional Railroad train train
what language
I’m Feeling by choo-choo train up
thank you thank you no problem thank you okay
Jacob Frey didn’t have break a dime
Elemental proof of the Brian but gibberish does the rhyme go get her age brain breaks
I meant to say I’m a choo choo train waiting at the station choo choo train choo choo train
Google
train
blanket
police chain chain chain
downtown train with ghost
Play the song train
it’s coming down like a real $10 again why am i e r in Hancock Park and walk to my car with a partner
statistically I am at more risk of Jasmine some of her but she seemed depressed because I came out to see you my name and applying a true-crime show
why are you are with a buddy and not the wrong kind of body that have to be the same time there’s going to be one that I like let me walk you to your
let me walk you to your car and walk you to your car I don’t think so I don’t know I can’t wait what
check my key or I’ma beat yo we love you so much thanks for stopping by Sarah hell starts thanks so much for shooting at tonight I’ve been raining next week
even I am excited about that good night
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