Episode
Episode: 219 – Night 1 At The 2016 New York City Comedy Festival!
Description
We’re back at New York’s Gramercy Theater and meet comedian and artist Mary Houlihan as well as Evan Shapiro, the Founder SeeSo, the home of Harmonquest!
Transcript
hello New York
brother fabulous Gramercy theater in downtown Greenwich
what Spring Hill Estates Spencer Crittenden
hey guys
and the mayor of Hermantown
oh yeah yeah we did a little experimental thing I know where everything is an experiment thank you lights rhythm
hear hear your Rhythm the sine wave of your of your circadian ups and downs rhythm
it’s so I’ll look it up later it’s probably telling you that nothing is interesting or funny and or if they’re if you’re drunk is that there’s something wrong with you and you know I can’t combat that right we’re doing our jobs you guys got to step up so I wait
I mean you don’t have to wait you are waiting you’re not answer such a cute. Tell you to wait sorry I’m I’m sorry I made I made it on the way here in the cab I made a PowerPoint on a
but okay Levy said it was here somewhere
Levy is it
it was one of my origin preview okay we should play Mario are there it is okay
play I can I think you just okay
okay
all right
Steve Levy everybody
yes yes my presentation for those of you who are later listening and who didn’t pay a million dollars so who cares about your needs but for those of you who are listening that it shows this slide shows called New York show why it will be great that’s the first slide and then
okay what all right all right okay I don’t know if
I didn’t expect it to be this bad at all right it’s supposed to still be able to like a slideshow of it I just scrolling through
what is the Shoah show is entertainment success connection and the boat cuz it’s all seated type court hearing at the New York Urban
but they see the thing is supposed to be slides
it would appear that the word uncompromising appeared underneath the word Urban but instead it’s just scrolling through and then I’ll cab cosas the phone knows me that way and that’s it
where it where Urban where uncompromising were offended by 9/11 very much so to the core and we’re fishing it but there’s a triangle I couldn’t get rid of
New York again Harmony okay looking from a distance
but let’s talk during the day we are over up close parts of those are beautiful just by looking at the ground around us except in the case of me that’s like regular food and New York New Yorker okay what
all right I’ll let you know okay later on maybe we’ll
oh now that works okay alright so we have some people we could meet to but but but only if I’m really going to be no matter what but and then another person if I’m like drowning on that’s that’s not very nice not to have to figure out which is which the first person is a person I’d like you to meet the second person if I bring them up you know that that person is like somebody that I’m like we’re drowning yeah and then they have to know that and I did but they can use that they can be self-effacing about that yeah yeah okay hold on a second
especially this is a lot more complicated than we’re used to seeing how are you enjoying this trip to New York and deadlines hell right now after this I’m sure to go back to continue working on the thing that we’re supposed to shoot in a week so you can probably ask him can we delay the show I hope we drown
also I hope the show doesn’t go that well you’re talking about a harmonquest second season
okay so some updates just if you are a cookie collector 2 person that has a that has joined my cookie collector 2 team I didn’t know there was a way there was no way to kick people off a lot of you get there can only be three loaders on your team I don’t know if you can figure out a way to leave the team I don’t see eye-to-eye but if you could if you’ve collected literally zero cookies that’s not how you play cookie delivery right now and it’s not I’m not I’m not an elitist I’m not saying you got to work hard and play hard and begin called cookie club 47 to 50 slots in your fucking zero cookies he can Trumbull crumbs that way the reason I don’t cookies right now is because I’m building up bonus is like I keep prestiging okay all right so what if that’s what they’re all doing now
didn’t you know you can’t do that when I collect a 28-0 so this crazy think I would I went where is he basing his recent California we have to get him on the show it. Your head really is amazing there’s a Forensic Files Marathon happening right now in an end like Cody Cody recorded him saying the same thing it wasn’t she didn’t have TiVo she wasn’t able to freeze it was just like a weird coincidence we were like sharing the you know him in the JonBenet Ramsey thing he’s like don’t steal my people using the like now it’s like I know is that those days over New York City understand that concept
that’s linked to whatever he talks funny I made and he’s out of that but it but he can handle is very very smart and they just like he speaks such funny English and he and he may have to because of his job he has to talk about the grossest shit and Cody saw this clip and she she taped it and it was the actor Henry Lee there was like there was like a UV ray going over a bed and there’s just all this shit lighting up and the doctor hadn’t release as we found between 150 and 200 individual semen stains
that’s a lot of semen stain thing was playing and we were oh my God the same thing happened to me but with drivers diners and dives
oh shit what’s drivers diamonds and I go into the ocean and the people that rescue their Treasures yeah hosted by Guy Fieri
anyway that is a lot of semen stay but Sympathy for the Devil delivery I think I think I think what he said next is like but you know or he may be said and I should know I thought he would say if he was that he was saying that’s a lot of Steven Stan but that alone does not make a man a bad person special people generate semen you may be bad person you may be a forensic genius maybe that make you make more semen I don’t know how to kill their first flight today or what which I do not like killing bugs know it wasn’t that that’s what I thought but it’s just bad at it
tell bathroom and she she she was relaying this all to me I wasn’t there she she she injured it with a towel nice and then it went into a crevasse dark so she sprayed it with hairspray also nice until it crawled out of the crevasse right back with him run the common housefly its lifespan is one day right I doubt it that’s not true I don’t think so baby do we have an intimate armchair entomologist down here that said no
flies and like swamps live a day someone said Shirley but flies are bigger than I thought they live a day who who thinks they know better I’m sure some flies live a day damn nobody’s really willing to get a very delicate and coming up
thank you they will they live a day as adults they live longer is Megan so don’t know about that either
all right well I’m just going to call bulshit on anything anyone says from here on out this is a very risky thing for me to do but it would probably happen if I didn’t call for it but if anybody were to find out I heard someone yell at 28 days
okay 20 you did go okay never mind cuz I like the perfect light and then I was looking like so many of them just live in our definition of hell because they are born and then they’re probably like an hour into their life and then and then they probably spend them the whole time and they’re like can I just please eat a little bit of that dried milk. That picnic table and a horse tail is like constantly trying to kill them in their family and I don’t know it did but 28 days they should be should figure it out to easy for too long I build a fly house and then you can see if we don’t they don’t deserve our sympathy in sex because they are like the first type of organism the first phylum
should know kingdom kingdom able to like start nailing it as far as organization because they’re multicellular organism that got meta and fractal about it and said one of these multicellular individuals work in a colony and we’re social and stuff and so they’ve kind of perfect and everything and then they got lazy and they are just like well it’s not like it’s not like we’re going to turn into lizards and then squirrels and then monkeys in the monkeys are going to like hit a gazelle with a femur bone in Baku make spaceships now they know they can eat our ship and they’re like we love your shit and I’m like yeah that’s no Planet of the Apes happens right just a reminder bugs though I always assumed that bugs just like we’re a little wind-up Toys R Us did but people feel bad about killing bugs like what’s the consensus does PETA stand for
that’s a good way to get your thing right about this surprise I’m speaking for cows are cows the Yeah Yeah Yeahs people’s reactions to that included like you’re being like Peter needs to be shut down the system at eyes the infantile ization of of of us starve ourselves as a biomass we’re not like the second or third generation of people there just like that’s offensive somebody’s going to deal with that for sure play like like like the teachers not going to put up with that obnoxious person that’s for me I’ll be over here getting straight A’s know you’re going to be over here sliding into the ocean and there may be a Nazi elected in the day
and I’m not I’m not I’m just saying like we we have to do that noise coming from specifically that was very weird because that is I understand stop saying he might get elected and even if he doesn’t know what the fuck are we going to do like like and maybe I’m on the alt right now
you certainly courted them heavily not saying don’t go back out and stop this guy from Hitler in
he’s from he’s from New York is a New York’s religion I know I know I know how you feel like I like I like I eye-to-eye. I Feel Like New Yorkers have been to have been like like that guy for 35 years I like
more like marveling at when it when the Celebrity Apprentice half or like who in Wichita this was a good idea
we don’t have anything else to talk about it over the head with a sack of potatoes for a year-and-a-half now this election has been going on at lake lake Lake Macbride the problem obviously isn’t the election is that cuz the presidents got one power I flipped out on Twitter recently because of the one thing is the Supreme Court thing that is why that’s it just the president during their term if any of these geezers like kicks it like they’d replace them and they replaced them along these party lines and it’s Wednesday it’s already bad enough that way this bipartisan system of the schedule just playing a human’s chest and congratulations
the only thing is legal to say anymore I’m going to kill myself
I’m going to live forever I’m every time I kill you I’m going to gain power like Highlander
and then I’ll be able to it’s like a it’s like we have water in my head but I can sense dogs what are you going to do and I’m going to make an ozone Shield that Highlander series I’ll tell you needed not know what we wanted in Highlander 2
but their lines are the writers sat down or like oh it says there can only be one and then there’s one at the end shit pretty cool there for Mars I don’t know
at home our next guest is new to the feral audio podcast family and I know barely anything about her but I thought we would be a good chance to get to know her cuz she was in town please welcome Mary Houlihan
hey hello alright so if the shows bad it’s your fault
sure you’re from San Francisco right now
Peter from New York City right keep going through down in Ohio Cleveland for the Northwest United States they are you from the Northeast United States main New Hampshire
Pennsylvania Philadelphia northeast Northeast
all right we give up Rhode Island New Jersey
I like that
some of them do it right but you can buy tickets like whether the Spencer’s Spencer’s beard that has to be fertilized it has to be flown in to fly out I’m first class I can’t I need my mint my mint service mail a signature mint drink anyways New Jersey
thanks for making the drive so tell us about New Media oh my God
so much media out there not enough time honestly everybody and their at the end of the night around midnight they would literally play the national anthem and the show of flag and then it would go to static there wasn’t enough people would just like die in their chairs smoking cigarettes and watching static cuz we have nothing like Spielberg was like male white and looks like flipping channels he’s like a ghost was there
there’s not going to be any more Spielberg’s cuz now there’s too much to watch the fall yeah oh she’s in rare form yeah British
my favorite form
doesn’t make sense give me a give me an accent Irish Irish Jerry Seinfeld
a picture of a
Town Lakes on Tonight Show
okay now this time you’re upset with your wife I’m at work and she’s coming in she needs to know something it’s important it’s not important thing that she needs but she needs something important something but you’re upset because you’re overworked I what am I am I Irish Irish Jerry Seinfeld now you’re acting in the acts that you’re just not acting in working on a pair of boots and my wife Taster’s Choice choice I may be Cockney
I’m sorry for breaking your car I don’t know that’s not really good right well I broke your car sorry
it’s fine it’s fine
you don’t seem fine in it
it’s just frustrating observing saying what people are thinking
boy
I can’t stay mad at you nice
I mean that cuz we were flapping our personal space joke that was an empowering solidarity was taking it back
that’s another thing New York again I haven’t even come when we can take things back
from that experience did you learn how to act in an accent like what can you tell us now because you’re the only person who’s actually done it I just don’t think I choose between the accent and the thing is like like how can you cuz they both require pretending that you’re something else that’s not true so I don’t understand these people like people from Australia and New Zealand actress like we’re forced flooded with them in their brilliant actors and they they they just learned from childhood if there going to be an actor that the brass ring is maybe involves going to the states cuz that’s where the market has the most job and and so they came from a very young age I think they’re just it’s just like oh yeah and then here’s your American accent which I don’t know it must just be practice like like you could raise a baby on a skateboard maybe and it would probably be like Tony Hawk when I was thirteen and then we we tried that right
board game equipment gymnast thing right and then there’s like an old like Belgian guy on the side that’s like
is there a really big still like that that’s what it was like when I know why I hate the Olympics you guys actually you know what interesting in any way and then there’s like horse dressage confused. The answer is just committee’s thinking like that country will probably say I wish Malta we think the semaphore should be an Olympic sport
begin your country has most more than any other country so are you trying to cheat your way into a gold medal with the humanity will both we want to be good at something and we want to we wanted we wanted to also participates about a great night and planets and other countries are murdering them that you were like that any counter did not stop until there are tendons exposed and then it was like fun that we were playing ping pong together
that’s a little outdated in the age of smart bombs and dumb children political gloating top-loading and downsizing know I did the same thing but in the reverse order. OK Google
I guess I’m like I just seen it scares me about about the alt Right Movement is that I am a Jew loving intellectual like is going to just get to have all his property taken away from him and I just like I’ve spent 20 years of working
and I thought I thought I would get got to have stuff at the end of that which I guess is all anybody’s ever saying so then some people who spent 20 years working and didn’t get anything for it that now than then they get to be Nazis and then they’re like Nazi time and I’m like hold on a second I spent twenty years preparing for none Nazi X thank you I think it’ll be fine just as long as Obama doesn’t take all our guns
I’d like to see him try now that his job has become late night talk show appearances he should just be should do a bit on Letterman or going there’s no Letterman Jordan tries to take your permit I’d give him my gun A gun he’s so Charming Joe Biden that’s like I mean Obama’s great but Joe Biden he’s like you know he’s just fun times Joe just wanted what’s that guy up to you we can still do that I will
going to make it my mission to find out why Joe Biden is up to did you see that clip where you put the middle of an interview and meet there bring it up and he’s like what that again what’s going on
that’s great that was everyone’s reaction has that information came from must be familiar with Hot Lips Houlihan from Mash
have you been to Ireland have you
no and by the way you’re not allowed to wish until you get there
or is that gold it’ll give you a genie at but most people who die by default wish for the pot of gold in a pot of gold two pots of gold in Ireland the everything’s a fairy the Fairy like they’re wearing when they say fairy they don’t mean like a little thing with wings the Goblins are fairies that are caps are fairies wearguard elves or fairies
are fairies goblins I probably said go to the supernatural to the Irish what the word put again is to the British in terms of food and said that there’s nothing that needs to be clarified over analog there I’m an analog of holic
in what way well it’s like this if he is analog we’re like What are analog have no home
that clears it up and then I do too many locks are you going to ask how old you are 26
the red that’s that’s a pipe
you can write for old people old people are probably over right at that point I think there was a commercial for Wheel of Fortune when I was a kid and Anna and it’s it was a it’s a great show for the young and it showed like a kid playing Wheel of Fortune bad so happens I think it still here that occasionally
where is shamed of death like we think that death means even though it’s something that all of us have to do not me rethink its own shit but maybe maybe not you I don’t think we’re getting closer and closer to turing’s a parabolic Tipping Point where people won’t age anywhere because we’ll be robot brains some like that did the good for you I’m sure your power points will be amazing
it sucks that they all have to die like like that and everyone behind you knew that they wouldn’t get a signature on that doesn’t make any sense or could you go tell everyone older than you they’re going to die
and you’re like that’s a shity gig in there like after you’re done you get eternity to hang out and do keep Keynotes TED talks but I’ll be able to live forever. I want to hear you say stuff are we supposed to stay alive or not
starting to get like a 43 I’m kind of like I’m not I’m not going to say like oh I’d be stoked to die but I’m I’m like I can feel it starting to we could die like when someone doing we’re arguing about where to go to eat like Taco Bell or McDonald’s have a sack of crap we have to choose which cock gun our food comes out of because we have two jobs and children you fucking gross elitist prick
sorry Wichita why are you listening are you part of that big red part where the Volvo what is God do you care about politics sounds about right
I think about it a lot but it makes me mad are you going to miss boring
kid like your selfie with the grown up online right now can you do something for 6 seconds like that you would do and when I mean if it was still around with a start when the vine starts I guess and then I’ll say Loop when it’s over so then if you want you can do it again and 3/4 so I’ll do it again and I’ll do one okay start
his real piece of bread
we could probably do that on Instagram now it we don’t need love you that’s why it happened
for Google for buying Twitter
for Mobil oil for buying a Time Warner AT&T and then Google
so 9/11 was a good chance for me to switch over to a
no no no
you should
you should write comically like you were doing while rapping
I’m sure that’s your wheelhouse
I can’t even listen to what you’re saying while sitting down I know
lb. Whatever you suggested probably won’t go well
inspiring up the computer all right so I don’t have any ideas I just thought I’d come over here start a new
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering if I can soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes related my own life so it’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker it myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerves like a verb you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
all right
fade in interior house night chick Kita
26 is making her husband Mike yeah you got a full screen or just shouting out like like I’m with her
I die when I hear shouting I just tune it out and like like well this person is just complete
but you weren’t you were you were you were relying on me and I was letting it down that’s why you were calling out and I have calluses around my ears and soul cuz my parents didn’t frankly they hit me and I know they’re sick of hearing that but stop listening to the podcast you fucking Oaks
retire so don’t do that but rapping
well my name is child abused myself in the usual way Mike and Ike God damn it now I’m going to wrap what I like my name is what I’m saying rapping rapping on 3rd Street going to I’m going to take a woman out on the town I’m going to treat a real nice and open the door I’m going to I’m going to
I’m going to I’m going to sweep her off her feet and something more right about now going to hand the mic to to myself cuz my name is Mike
I can’t I can’t. I can’t do it at the same time
can’t you can’t you can’t wrapping and then type dialogue at the same time you did it you you succeeded that’s all we wanted you to do and you did it I bet you could this is a good test I bet you could wrap and talk about politics at the same time because it takes so little brain space
Steve says you should improvised Rick and Morty as a script I might be too close to home interior brick is inventing something and Morty interior is a cheese rag this time could you make it something I could help me get with the girls
Rick
I don’t have time for this bullshit right now my brain is huge
shut up and hand me a screwdriver life is pointless
I should and she’s Rick a kid type
putting my foot down this time man
oh shit I said, it’s politically correct
thank you I’ll be here tomorrow and that’s that’s it like I’m like yeah I could suck a cock might be funny so here’s your fries and you’re like these are late and he’s like fuck you and you’re like fuck you cock sucker you saying to that guy as another guy fuck you I’m not on your team and what are some things that are bad about you you suck so that’s bad if it cuz one of the guys gay or not you’ve done a grated a section of the popular thanks for the fries cocksucker you know that be fine
bro just trying to work it out I don’t know what’s politically correct or not when you talk to you about like when you like Spencer would like to make love to war women
and he’s also in the in his mid-twenties and I’m not going where you think I’m going out at the fuc
your hand too early Harmon
you know where the pads go into hashtag rape culture when you’re like Wing Manning in public when you’re like someone should you know you didn’t ask me to do it I’m also being a bad friend I know that but I just like like
Spencer’s never going to make the first move so you should gang up in a minute past so not true
I mean it’s not like I’m always going to make it
I’m sorry. It’s fine let’s can we bring out let’s bring out a
bachelorette number one
head of Seto Adventure Pyro
oh shit shit he was quick this guy is like the King of New Media and he won’t have a microphone cuz we had a broken one where do you stand and calling calling someone a Cox a whole God I usually don’t
what insults do you usually employ
cuz I will tell you when I was in my twenties and the world was different if I would get really mad at another man like I would go like full Baldwin like Glengarry Glen Ross in friend further like like a lot of man on man insults that aren’t woke are they they revolve around masculate of the other guy and it’s Lagan so you calling to seaward and you, and you that ended my favorite was always with the TW word
Tweedle Dee Wayne
do you know it rhymes with the with the second part of robot I’m not really comfortable I’m not really comfortable with with that word although we just did a show with the comic and thus name of the show is American continent in the office for a couple of days you know the email filter would would capture capture it or do you say that title in mixed company in the workplace ready to boss in the UK I don’t know this whole thing I kind of miss you so it’s comedy and so there’s good it’s like we’re living in this world now at work, Dee has come to a four-way stop sign with multi cultural awareness and like people trying to
evolve into a Roddenberry vision of the future and like there’s there’s like the comedy is about irony irony is about incongruence with expectations sometimes it’s about shocking people Etc I go with the definition I think I think Jim Norton said like just a nobody trying to be shocking on purpose and nobody trying to be polite on purpose that’s you not being funny if you get your beat make yourself laugh and stuff I would go with that that makes sense to me but as a person who’s in charge of who gets a stand-up special and who doesn’t weird is your opinion come in and how do you employ them I think the hard part is is that in a culture where the woman Go on stage and at and be married to the largest Cyberbully on Earth and unironically lecture us about cyberbullying how do you how are you funny you know how how does someone respond to that and actually make fun of that in real time because you’re watching the world turn Mehta on its head right in front of you and
very difficult to react to that in a way that just doesn’t seem you know even more ironic things are moving so fast I have no idea what you’re talking about I don’t even know what’s happened now is that you’re seeing this is something like this where somebody gets up and is entirely confessional for an hour without necessarily having a script has become one of the coolest ways to do, and so I think what you’re doing here with 10 podcasting in general you know with your I don’t know what your podcast is about is great
what is it called Mary Houlihan what’s up its Mary Houlihan
they were all there thank you that’s why you know where I’m going to be right after this you could be raining right now who’s that who’s who’s going to be on the show next week who’s going to be on the show next week I don’t think we can say we can say it’s possible that these people may drop out again at a problem is making Irish stew
but we put up extra scenes on Thursday
yeah they expanded universe you should check it out it’s the parts that we wish we could have kept in the show but had to cut for time because we wanted it to be short oh yeah do you guys mean to imply that things have to sometimes be shaved from a
nice
cuz it just makes me think of how I’m so tired of having to choose how to shave
is it a no no no
what do you talk what do you think we’re bought and sold by the talking about our personal experience with various products we interact with Spencer Hollywood Spencer you might have heard the ad
no not you you guys but yeah my groove back how long does it take you to grow that beard has like a 7-year beard beard
Levy’s Levy’s laptops his bread browsers homepage is the ign.com
previous previous like a little Care Bear he likes he doesn’t have an ounce of hatred in his heart like I’m sure mine is Pornhub premium premium h e I don’t know I mean
so anyways I mean
pictures of men’s shaving listening it’s it’s pictures of men shaving because here’s the thing about shaving and women shave too and there’s no such thing as gender so this is a commercial for Humanity dollarshaveclub.com lets you the human end-user reach out into the world and use digital technology they have shaving equipment delivered to your door it’s a it’s a it’s a it’s a it’s a it’s an Unholy Union of prehistoric needs and and and modern fulfillment if you just go to dollarshaveclub.com harmontown I believe you’ll get a deep deep discount that will get try eat a free trial just pay shipping yeah leavings onto you
I just got I just going to that I didn’t you didn’t write that in advance or that you like and you want to spend some time apart from it or whether you don’t want one and you’re afraid ones about to happen
or whether there’s no chance of you having one but you’re you’re you live in a part of a patriarchy that demands that to other parts of your body Bebe hair free you know like or maybe hey maybe you don’t maybe you’re offended by that maybe you choose to be hairless and it’s an expression of your of yourself in any case Sendik’s and needless strips to the grocery store into that equation that night that’s not personal that’s not convenient that’s not intimate and it’s certainly not millennial
there’s nothing less Millennial than trying to break into that locked up razor Fortress at the drugstore user play glad you’re a terrorist is going to take over the grocery store by having the first blade pressed down to skin and have the second played lift it was a third Clips leaving behind a smooth trip food that’s not how terrorism Works in shaving should work
cigar advertisers would want us to exclude terrorism from their potential I think they might do you think you think Dollar Shave is okay with terrorists buying the razor we cannot say for sure that their lack of Shaving is causing them to blow things up however we do not know that there is not a cause of a relationship until we do an experiment like going to dollarshaveclub.com I’m in town if you are feeling terroristic today look in the mirror r u r u b r d
do you know for a fact the beard is not telling you like the digital hate America I don’t I don’t know what to tell you to speak beard
so dealership, man shaving into a Google Images here I bet if you typed Liberty
Liberty
put a statue says so much about where we’re at
what are two types of Human Rights and democracy there we go okay well that’s better it’s just the word democracy and a lot of signs
we beat you don’t have your trackpad reversed for scrolling
fucking kit with it they’re not going to change their minds
is it people that reverse the track that I’m holding out hope not for what it’s an oligarchy
thinking out loud opoly I think it’s what I meant to say it’s an Ollie’s something man not free
but it is his laptop of choice of of scrolling Direction I thought you meant
I don’t have Springs
what if you take Irish Seinfeld when you get this is good
so this is like Family Feud
survey says show me results for Irish mythology
all right well it’s the Gramercy it’s a very old classic theater they’ve got there we go
he’s a global phenomenon virus Seinfeld is Seinfeld
okay that makes sense wait what is this picture what is this the cast of Seinfeld in front of the World Trade Center with an airplane
I mean I get a chance to Seinfeld for the World Trade Centers with a plane going into it
changes but it’s an Irish guy
wait until we wait for it to come up with a URL is that last part is Seinfeld – 9/11 – exercise bad taste of funny terrible bad taste but it is very funny I am so so sorry about that guy that you were seeing what do you mean he was murdered by terrorists
okay I’m not going to be someone else in comedy
the Spectre for Seinfeld about a boyfriend I just like to say you know as the company that brings you the Olympics I do not have that many bowls of rings I don’t know what you want to because they
what if I told you that there is a global corporation that just wanted to extract money through the World by way of pretending some sports matter
welcome to America I hate it do you think Sports pacification of people that would otherwise murder me or or or do you think it is encouraging them to keep feeling murderous both activities towards you know I’m Ivan an Eagles fan since I was born baby but
let’s see what happens tomorrow see what happens tomorrow but I don’t have a rational reason for rooting for the Eagles I lived in New York 27 years and and they suck most of the time or they break my heart every day every year and yet I keep going back I just I’m sorry I’m driving my name into Google they’re just they’re at they’re excited to PDF page there’s my Twitter and Harmon in Miami Dan Harmon poops my my outdated blog my story structure look on a Twitter rant angry abusive children
file this one under comedy with two question marks first off none of this is safe for working anyway I don’t know if you scroll down you will be reading some of the language in italics
the burden of not safe for work at home who’s like looking at that text is naughty you are fired mr. II up if you worship the creator of money you might want to stop here because even your fellow Harmon worshippers think it makes him look really small
the story here is that Herman was on a plane yesterday famous people all the time it even happens to people all the time where is essentially a cauldron of self-promotion links and insults and There Is No Escape
and he came to a dark desire to quote inflict genuine pain on quote unfortunately his Nemesis has protected all his her tweets so we can’t see the original has responded by themselves update from the comments. The unforgivable incendiary tweet that set Herman okay I guess you’re drunker than expected that’s okay but this isn’t that great of an idea that’s a fucking shity person
okay I guess you’re drunk but whatever. A good idea
I barely remember this but I’m in time now re mad at that guy
divorced my Twitter my internet my Planet fucking people I don’t I don’t I don’t remember running for election fuck you don’t talk to me shity you’re going to get talked to shity back if I’m in a bad mood and happens every day it happened to Senator man fuck you fuck all of you so fucking mad and then these days people who are politicians that do much worse and it’s not a problem at all like they’re like oh let’s stop you know minorities from voting
I can get on a plane and say I have an idea all Mexicans are rapists with build a wall around America and Ray
the fucking racist and a Nazi and I know damn drunk and revealed something he’s a dick and you shouldn’t fuck with them
back with you back then to play cookie collector like
I’m sure this is pre-coated collect all right I have it it goes on from there and you can revisit the whole debacle at Herman.
flash Dollar Shave Club if you want to just kind of the interesting thing here is an interesting is that the victim’s Twitter handle was bird person which is a Rick and Morty character so he’s at least nominally a Harman fan nominally I mean they’re already following me everywhere every person that always has pay shut up you’re fat and you’re drunk and you’re stupid and no one cares about your opinion I always go over in the midst of blocking them I’m right next to the black button is a fucking following you icon and I always want to go if you’re fucking you wonder why I’m leaving behind a planet that is going to burn it to a cinder so that you can get angry at them so that you can evoke some kind of reacted I’ve never in my life like somebody or complain
repeat it down
the illusion that my problems are the problems of the fucking society around me I don’t wait for anybody to fix my shit I just like if somebody says fuck you in like no fuck you probably maybe but do you think you for 5 minutes. Maybe I should flick me a good so it’s a good point I won’t side with the split I should get engaged in some self-care I’m going to go shower now have you ever posted something in one of these that you regret
he regretted this for a while then I stopped at us but that’s different from remorse like where you’re like I feel I shouldn’t have done that like I don’t know I still forgive myself for a human being that’s on Twitter I don’t acknowledge my crime and I fucking like like I feel terrible that that that happened like regret is like oh shit that turned into a shitstorm if I went back in time I’d avoid it because it didn’t prompt it anybody fine line but but remorse involve this person that started this shit and I’m not willing to go to that world yet
I don’t care if they’re 15 I don’t care that one-armed I don’t fucking care they’re a dick and the end end of the encounter with me and Anna and their brush with Fame that resulted from it changes their perspective on society’s construction then I’ve either done a favor or contributed to their fucking grow soup that is our society and in either case the thing framed on their wall from where the conclusion is so what the hell just happened you’re the journalist and obviously we witnessed an incredible explosion of insecurity in our system and anger from a man who is both creatively challenging thank you
these are my worst enemies and insanely thin-skinned Oh Heaven forfend that I’d be receptive and have empathy more than anything my takeaway is that deeply unhappy I love a good trolling
how do you spell let it go eat something for Harmon and not the start of an emotional breakdown that ends with him smashing into walls in an asylum
I said that that we were going to say that hopefully hopefully this person being publicly vulnerable on social media and the resulting clickbait articles talking about how he’s having a meltdown don’t result in government intervention
they’re already doing their job
something like what the fuck man steals read the comments
all right,
here’s a screenshot of the pretty innocuous original treatment he said that he didn’t research that someone posted if I told you about something that happened on Twitter and they got paid a hundred bucks for it
but this person is talking about the person responding by the way I never been a single response from this person apparently they said English wasn’t their first language and they apologize have a joke. I didn’t read anything from them I was like I was just typing
Jesus that poor kid
I don’t know man apparently definitely says you go you are worthless quoting me
to which this person responsible a good one of savant but the only job I found particularly inspired was your Pistons are generic fears
why did John what does the Rodger Ebert of insults with
I am Sarah Silverman complete lack of surprise
okay Dan Herman going to click see more
personality disorders apparently stemming from an abusive childhood and he is also an alcoholic and perhaps even a drug addict
and although he is a creative genius
it would be like if it was during the debates like Hillary Clinton was like okay I get it he’d make a great president but still
when pouring his pain and dysfunctions into his work if you are familiar with his work you will notice how many of the characters are projections of either himself his hope or his fears
his process is very uneven defending me this process is very uneven and because of the issues he is very hard to work with okay here we go yeah having constant breakdowns and anxiety attacks and being plain abusive to the point that he is now ex-wife Aaron has more was more a caregiver and Handler than a spouse and partner in the traditional sense so no surprise that she finally called it quits because you can only take so much abuse and that’s the point that sad little trolls like Joffrey who feel the need to use the name of one of the most hated d-bags in all the fandom because he thinks that gives him some sort of Reddit street cred I don’t even know who they’re talking about my Jeffrey are so I got it back up so no surprise that she finally called it quits because you can only take so much abuse and that’s the point
that sad little trolls trolls like Joffrey who feel the need to use the same feel the need to use the name of one of the most hated tea bags and all of the Phantom’s because he thinks it gives him some sort of street cred but in fact only shows how desperate for attention they are don’t get okay so this wasn’t saying don’t stop stop poking Dan Harmon it’s because you think him slapping you with attention that’ll make you happy it won’t there are people who are assholes because they choose to or because they are too lame this person can’t spell for it to be something better and then there are people who are assholes because they suffer from mental illness disorders and have a ton of real fucked-up issues to deal with thank you these are the people that can barely function
and if you inform yourselves a little bit about Dan Harmon you will realize he is one of said people he is barely functional he is a sick person that happens to be a creative genius
if he would probably be living on the streets like so many untreated attics of mental patients and all the people who don’t get that or just a fucking ignorant cruel reflection of our society treats people with social disorders mental illness personality disorders and drug addiction by punishing than humiliating them like they chose to be that way like their very existence did I write this
was I so drunk that I logged in and I should be on the streets if you hate me so much and they should just get over their issues to make yourself as life better Dan Harmon is an asphalt but at least he has medical issues to explain why he was a swell
and just
Hatters feel better feel better
in there and they’re having Waze
activities in here
and they’re heading ways he lives in constant pain and anxiety I I mean I must be an expert at deflecting it cuz I’m fucking deliriously happy
happy lonely man that hurts and pushes away everyone around him because that’s just how fucked-up he is that he can’t have a basic normal healthy relationship and sooner or latter he is sick
he is going to self-destruct while the world watches and I think that will be at the Gramercy theater at 4 p.m.
find Steve leaving
I bet if we check that IP address it comes right from inside my house and Steve Levy coming from inside the house and I’m a creative genius I’m not functional I’m functioning so well to take creative thing about me for eight pages in a comment section reading more than I am getting paid to self-destruct and this is more than I’ve written all week
I need you this much on Doctor Strange
I just went in there and ate a pizza it was like yeah it’s cool he’s kind of like Rick
let’s not forget harvest the first stages of a divorce that before that Twitter thing and I never looked at the kids responses I wasn’t talking to him I very clearly said this guy caught me at the wrong time I’m fucking at my therapist at War me she said people that are going through divorce like it doesn’t matter the circumstances of divorce it doesn’t matter Fair unfair it’s like he’s such a 888 like raises up your like weird you have a beer and you become hyper Vigilant about Injustice so that you’ll just like anything that seems unfair to you you’ll just like freak freak out whether it’s unfair to people in a corner talking like an experienced it but this is what’s happening like I’m like this person’s going to get a beat down because they disagreed with me they told me and I don’t like I need to inflict pain right now and then I just I just I don’t know how can I possibly be
I’m the non Anonymous one I’m the one that everyone gets to call Fat an alcoholic and abusive and they’re just walking away clean they can write all that and they’re mentally healthy person is a fucking like this purse is a therapist right in charge of how other people should feel and their response to a stranger on Twitter having a bad day is that my wife had to feed me put in because I’m really rude and judgmental and if I tweeted something like that it somebody else it would be incredibly Petty and then everyone would be like Dan Harmon attacks Vince Gilligan and invoked his divorce the end of my career
it would be the end of my career because I wouldn’t just be me going like the fuck you fuck you you people are gross jerks I’m a fucking I’m in a bad mood everyone’s a piece of shit asshole I’m just like Hannibal Lecter I’m locked in a cell
all I can do is talk about 5 and beans I can’t wait to eat you
quid pro quo Clarice
if you listen to me and work with me I will direct you to a storage
that will solve a lot of your case for you there is a place where a guy for some reason is storing a head in a jar
conspiracy carrot a voice of a generation
who played the tennis like the parks and rec of insults of community
what’s more amazing to me is how anyone can go anywhere on the internet and not flip out like this how I love you Ben Hinman 8 months ago sounds a lot like Dan Harmon
did I spend the whole box of 223
Mary Houlihan how can people walk away from this ago experience more Cockney and more reserved but polite and possibly very cool assuredly funny and smart because you’re on Farrell audio of shenanigans you can follow me on the web at Mary hooley houlie you may also listening to my new podcast and you may also go to a comedy show I do it’s called cartoon Monsoon and it’s every first Friday of the month at annoyance theater
all right if you shave right now actually
we just print we just put the 10 new chapters of the expanded universe up there which has extra stuff that we didn’t get into did not shave but includes extra stuff with Paul F Tompkins and Nathan Fillion and a whole bunch of other great people and I think that the scene that got taken out of the wrestling match with Paula Thompkins from the from the First episodes is so long do something else it’s like some really funny stuff they was there’s so much funny stuff that we had to cut it down one favorite because it’s what I thought about playing D&D and animating it is the fact that D&D Pathfinder Pathfinder
arguing about how to open a door like that in it I did it I did it and that’s all I do. Come on Xbox and if you sign up right now you got a month free so you can watch all of harmonquest and all of the expanded universe for free and then maybe stick around give me a give me a beat
are you guys ready
I guess I was mistaken they’re ready give it to him
100 3rd Street
the bank has been copied in hot chocolate if you said stop it and then I stopped
immediately
open communication
Will Forte
I went to the Statue of Liberty
Porsche
extreme extreme extreme
I was playing Superman just a little patriarchies flat ceiling man
should be the editor that paper by now
I’m with her
Google home
Daily Planet
Metropolis Lane she got two big titties in the sternum
sorry about that
keep it going
fruit basket
world
Aquaman I was just seeing if you talk to me in coral reefs
Green Lantern
is Kryptonite is the color yellow and would be used to be would come fucking dumb
I’m here I just helped you but you making anything as long as it’s green or
Staten Island
you’re a terrorist Army of your New Yorker cuz I hate I hate I hate
more than everyone
you going to make it you’re going to find out again
take me to Route 11
Baloch extremely tonight gonna get some coffee and then you won’t wake up for the kids good show.
I want to pick up coffee
Toronto or something
at home
your huddled masses I fuck your mama in all the classes classes
I tried to bring it home I fucked it up and I was great
City to City
pedophiles are bad
that’s not sure everybody good night
thank you so much.
Take me to Evan Shapiro thank you to Mary Houlihan thank you for the Gramercy theater and everyone else was put on the show thanks to you alright harmontown is out of fashion dress up and take chances
all right see you soon