Episode
Episode: 233 – The Only Enemy is Stopping
Description
Featuring Dan Harmon, Jeff Davis, Spencer Crittenden and Open Mike Eagle.
Transcript
the Burbank California strawberries Castle it’s the very first time that harmontown is in session for the beautiful confines of the weird Warehouse do you think mr. Burns Castle
oh yeah feels good doesn’t it feels in session
she feels extra sexy yeah
thank you
all right thanks for joining us at the temporary location or or whatever an experimental location moves I I I work organically I want to do they call you Big Moose Herman please find 5in high tides like the gum dies it yet but was it called that world’s most dangerous prisons are inside them or something like that or it’s called inside the world’s most dangerous prisons
it’s some guy was like a kind of a he’s he’s from wherever the that that what the shrimpy guy what’s his name so the phone booth saying they scared to talk on the phone or you get shot and Colin Colin Farrell and Farrell Colin Farrell they call him throughout the world there’s a prison in Honduras I guess that’s the murder capital of the world that’s probably an easy title to claim like best pizza or whatever but prison there it’s like built for like let’s say 70 people and pulling numbers out of my ass there’s like seven hundred people in it it’s like very overcrowded as most prisons are we are generating more bad people and good people these days it’s a
is Market Day at a certain point it’s like it’s Escape From New York they like pulled the guards pulled out and they just like rolled wouldn’t batons like it by the box in there and said like whoever the people you trust the most
and so some of the murderers have sticks and that’s their system and it works really well like the guards can’t go in there go in there at night to lock up I guess they have liked it so it’s sort of like bad guys I got the sticks first I wouldn’t they want to have the sticks as one would argue in all of all of society it just kind of tends to be that way good guys don’t want sticks and and end so the in this prison like
some of the rapists and murderers have been deputized to beat the other ones that get out of line I don’t know how they picked up there’s a guy at the top that insist he profits nothing from it while telling you if you want to bet it cost $135 and all this stuff and it if it’s the whole place has a kind of I mean there was no everyone’s like lifting weights and everything is very scary and everyone’s kind of leering at you but what you didn’t see was like mass chaos and it was so is useless, Colin Farrell looking guy going like I’m filling buckets of water and then he would go and talk to all the the Mucky mucks within this system none of whom are guards and that he’d like to shoot pool with the guards on the outside of the system that the guards are guarding but can’t get in the guards job to make sure that all seven hundred people don’t at some point go
what’s all escaped at the same time that is their single task is to keep that day from happening how they do that I guess they have something to do with the fact that separates the prison from the arrest of Honduras which is like a chain link fence that you had at your grade school playground drugs are just flying back and forth over the top of it I think the people in there are kind of Happy the prisoners are I mean they’re like they like to be out if they could leave anytime they wanted but they can’t leave any time they wanted so they’ve created a society for themselves that include weekend long conjugal visit the wives and children come to visit them they showed that weekend happening and there’s no if you fuck with the wives or children during that weekend like you it’s like obviously the repercussions repercussions if you piss off
shooting Billiards with the host of the show who sang like how’s it so would it work do you guys want to be to have control back because when I tried to take control back and everyone just went
shirts around like strippers and through garbage cans at them and they had to leave they like okay we’re in prison how do you think you would handle present if you had to be like like real time of the day I was sentenced to prison because guys like me you’re not not right now I want to kill myself how do you do it because I don’t know what do I do when the judge says you’re going
and I go through my eyeball would be isn’t right it’s all I’m just sorry you know like that one movie where Batman couldn’t even make it to protect to Harvey Dent from getting his face tattooed that you’ve explained Harvey Dent’s turning into to face was one of those older Batman movies I was a mafia guy and he had a revealed he had a jar of poison on the witness stand and he went and then it cut the Batman in the court going
and then it got to Harvey Dent going and holding a manila folder across half of his face hence his transformation into two face
a folder
I guess it’s an older movie scene
before it was The Dark Knight Rises writer returns or something does the second of these Nolan Batman movie folder in that new one too I think it’s a folder
I think everyone holds up a folder when Bane takes over cuz he goes like I give you a backrub
Holdrege
and everyone holds up a folder
send a message to thinking of your new gun owner usurped democracy is it is to maintain it I feel like we’re getting a gun to overthrow democracy is a safe space I was getting a gun to to protect my soup and women in the event of total economic destabilization it which might result in my neighborhood looking up at my home which looks like Victor Frankenstein’s go home that I’ve been robbing their graves to assemble some sort of monster I just wanted to have a power tool in my home that did that has holes and faces
want water you know it more than they want politeness
about like actually like why you must because like you you’ve bought a gun that that what would happen like if somebody came up your steps and demanded your water out all your women that I would argue that that is fallacious logic I bought the gun because I don’t have fantasies about what I do if if if it went that far I had be I’d that’s why I got the guy wanted to buy the gun is from the impulse of being feeling like I am not a person that could be relied upon in a situation of such heightened crisis that so no I don’t sit and think man I hope I know but I have it I also have an Entertainer all I I just have vague of vague like cloud of like chaos in my head where I’m like whoa look what has happened in the in the in the in the first 10 days of this presidency made me look at the ten-day waiting period that you need to get a gun as a crucial 10 days and I now have
have what I what makes me feel very comfortable which is a one-day a drive to Burbank waiting. I have a gun waiting for me in a store run by guys who know how to use guns I haven’t I wanted to let you know so I’m saying like I’m feeling better now maybe that’s what the waiting periods for it’s where I could go pick it up in my cabinet what were your your shopping around for like a little slack slack it’s a coordinating app for communicating with teens no teams teams been to a couple times but I shot there a couple times with friends that have guns in it since it’s fun to go shoot again by I would never want one but I just found out that gun
indoor firing ranges has a fucking suicide people go in there and they had three suicidal people actually go there to kill them and they go bang and if I can shoot their fucking brains all over the person next to them and it has been three suicides of the firing line recently and apparently that’s not just there is everywhere do we think of that person is that person to a bad person is that person is on Range so it’s not like Heroes their revealing that in the throes of depression enough that life means absolutely nothing to them that they don’t do it on her people you could do if you thought life meant nothing right sheet at the Grand Theft Auto game of life and just go bling blang bloom bloom like like just to see what happened before you boo boom.
Food Service stressful Define the firing line in Burbank on Victory I think I went there once I’ve never fired a gun they have you ever fired a weapon before I said no I haven’t liked all right so fill this out of Science and waivers in the first thing that you’re going to shoot here is the 357 Magnum which is a Canon was fucking bunkers that thing is so loud and so scary that I couldn’t ever relax but now if I think that the guy next to me might just go kill myself I think you’re going to laugh when I say this but there’s something very uplifting about that because we’re arguing
I slept between people like in a pre Trump era there was a big religious connotation that had to do with the division between the left and the right particularly in this the idea of like oh what are we going to do if there’s no God there’s no morality and all this stuff in like the the the Practical minded atheist Among Us the people that it’s like I don’t need a boogie man or a fairy tale or a Superstition and not to not to devalue anything that anyone has a personal relationship with but I’m just saying like like people don’t need that in order to do the cool thing to do the nice thing an argument could be made that people are particularly geared to a perfect example of a situation you’re holding a gun there’s literally a lane of people on either side of you you’ve just you come here because you have decided that life itself means so little you obviously aren’t fearing that you’re going to wake up in a pool of lava with legs picture
it’s going up your butt because that those people definitely make sure you know that suicide one of the things that’ll make that happen so you have made your peace with chaos you have made your peace with Oblivion you have an emotional thing going out of your head with a pain of living is so high that that you just want it to end and you don’t as you step out the door do this horrible trollish thing you know that is not what most of us want to do we are not held in line like getting away with it there’s no cops in this room there’s no cops like this room
where are my fingers
but there are no cops in this room man but it but it’s like we’re not held in line by you know we are at we are not animals and these Conjuring prisoners aren’t you know I am cutting vegetables with a guy that killed someone with a machete
true I don’t know the reason why I want to keep watching this series of 8 are you getting
I think I heard one yes and one knows so there it is
posted a very it in her but you you’re very you’re very passionately anti-gun I know a lot of I know a lot of things and here’s what I know guns kill people I don’t want to kill people. Okay so let’s you’re right I don’t like to begin saying what the fuck I brought it up as a confessional thing because I consider that purchase a I’m confessing about it I’m not a I’m not telling people that that I did the smartest thing in the world that I recommend everyone to I’m sharing with with people that these are crazy times and that we’re all dealing with it and weird ways and that Liberals are becoming anti Nazi Nazis are becoming not
you said you know the people who used to say but maybe freedom of speech is overrated are now saying I love the Second Amendment times and we’re scared and how are we dealing with it and what do we do and I I wanted to get out I’m not a person with Solutions and I’m not a pundit and I’m not a I’m not an academic I dropped out of college so I am going to share what I’m going through like I’m not going to leave a fucking molecule out of it I bought a gun I bought a gun because that’s how like that’s how
that’s how close to the Doomsday line the it feels like lock thing with the Doomsday Clock what do they call it the Doomsday Clock gun because of the unknown I didn’t buy a gun because I thought anything specific was going to happen I bought a gun because for my entire life of should I buy a gun that Pachinko ball of logic always ended with of course not and now we are in times where it landed somewhere else and I think that’s notable I don’t think it’s admirable I don’t think it’s inspirational I immediately already having sense talked about it I got a tweet from a guy that was like what would you recommend shut it down shut it down and have conversations by proactively influence your decision about these these things like and god-knows-where minutes from another Sandy Hook at which point is going to take on another religious
lake lake lake lake holyshit I’ll be ashamed of myself for ever using the word gun again for a little while like so like don’t just value my Candor My Confession my honesty I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing I bought this thing because the morning that the after the election I went downstairs and like after an evening of my girlfriend staring off into space like the moment she saw my dog sitter they exchanged niceties and then one of them said how are you doing and they both burst into tears and then everywhere I went everyone would have been crying all morning and then they had to dry their tears and they were Halo people there there there that had to get back to work and I felt emasculated I felt helpless I felt like there was something I had to be able to do I’m not Sirhan Sirhan I don’t think the thing I need to do involves the gun I feel like I have no recourse to power and that is an air
narcissistic White Privilege straight white male like reaction that is notable it’s important to measure it I bought a fucking gun like this over a band tell it was important to defeat Uber because I was fighting another white guy
I heard I heard nine hundred stories from women about how fucking horrible Uber was and then the day that it was it was a way to give another white guy black guy I was like like I love left now tell me about your nasty fucking weirdo
our next guest is
I told him he could talk for 10 minutes and then I and then I’ll bring you up if you’re ready to go get to know about the same time because I said we should come on my show and he’s he’s a rapper and a and end of the creator of Beats I don’t know if the title would be DJ but but he’s his name is open mike eagle
can you get you go ahead you can you can you can move everything you want I can keep talking to remove I think
that’s the Chicago way
not only is it just like I’m adding Furniture to the mix but also like you have to do it with such ease that it’s like I’m a powerful man I don’t need a gun I need it I’m not saying it’s not how I could I could remove it doesn’t have to be a heavy stool I’m a single piece of wood are we ready to do a test for me what if I said I wanted to cut to a photo for the ocean is running okay I didn’t mean to do that no.
didn’t realize I didn’t know that you’re you might be able to walk probably why people and honorary woman
this is this is a poster of Now You See Me too I think
I want to talk about a theory I have about this photo or rather an obsession I have it at this photo that I’m allowed to make because of the geometry of this photo this is a tripod tripod-mounted photographed this is not a quick call people at Hackett and so they just need to clear launch codes in your fucking patio the lines are lined up here this is a tripod-mounted shot swiveled because any human in their right mind would Center the desk in the frame there are an almost there an almost equal number of people on both sides unless you count homophobic pants over here
who who I think was either I’m trying to figure out if he’s doing a power-play and showed up late at night he said the timer he was like no I’m sorry but here and there has been swiveled understand and right side of the frame what you see is a you can measure that wine you would take half of that wine and you would put it over here if you wanted to know where the frame would be if this desk were centered it would cut right across Pence’s shoulder and Prince wasn’t in the shot by the way over here Herman Munster second Secretary of fucking crazy pumpkin headphones
a living Gollum from the not from Lord of the Rings from the Hebrew tradition a animated man brought here for the purpose of Vengeance and behind him who has two thumbs and looks like Chris Farley as ghost
that guy’s that guy’s head would be a little over to the right this way this way I believe that these two aren’t getting along for good reason I don’t think Pence was told this photo was happening here and unless I think he was taking a shit he walked by the Oval Office if that’s where this is it looked ovular to me I want to know more about the guy with the orange orange
do you wear red or blue ties this guy’s got a Halloween tie back there
all the guys got to
it’s a shame that women only have one
I’m actually only get 70% of thumb women only get paid for Ocean’s 11 Ocean’s a man makes about zero black people in the photo lab and they’re racist as they haven’t made any bones about that so we’re moving on like like him because we’re like how do we get them out of there we’re not like we’re no longer policing them and going like to see some diversity in that photo hey is there is there anything in this photo of that can show us their weakness in the corner that it didn’t have a fucking book or a pen on it play it on it that’s not really doesn’t want desks he doesn’t want to be at that desk that’s not a good day
this is a desk for finding the Book of Secrets if you as I remember I remember when it was one of the first things is if they have to it was like Obama with a Hitler mustache is that at the end of the world if I was present. How can we how will you live through two years of this for years and years of this it’s a black man in the white house we’re all going to die and the first thing was look at him he’s not even wearing his jacket at the desk does the first photo is him with his shirtsleeves rolled up and he was on the phone talking papers everywhere getting to work and then somebody split screen duet with Kennedy and it was Marilyn Monroe but I also I want to work to get. All right whatever when did I become somebody posted this picture and said what’s this mixtape called
and then everybody was was sending an ashes it was great mine was a male white Marauder’s is the name of this picture
I’m at The Hip Hop joke I’m sorry
yeah let’s talk about the facts about hip hop jokes and we won’t get so full of the time I got to pretend them like a huge fan of open mike Eagle but I liked what you were doing in the show that I met you in and then I was like after the show like you should come and do it but I know nothing about you I know you’re from Chicago I know that you like like like what where did what was your upbringing like I live like like right by the projects like not in a but kind of like right by them and shit and I went to elementary school with it was like nestled within the projects so I had I live with my grandparents and my mom was fuked up
and yeah I had to try to have like a normal childhood accepted like it the cat me very sheltered knows like gunshots crack cocaine and all that and you had uncles and aunts are all strung out on shit but they kept me in the house so like I just watched a shit ton of like fucking cable television in the late eighties and early nineties a lot and around inside that was it outside of questions that they have a take that was racially-based liked it they have that they have talks with you about what to do when the cops and level on what what other black people do and when the parents were black people from the South let me finish okay and what that man is all of their talks
were alarmingly racist to black and like not in a cute way like I had a Japanese 7th grade teacher and a shit to my sweet old grandmother say about that man was fucking awful you know like she was a great person but you know what you don’t like to hear I wouldn’t I wouldn’t
how to judge her know it was it was like I don’t know it was just part of lexicon for her to say those awful awful things and how did she feel about cuz she’s from a certain generation like what was her and your grandpa’s like a Korean person they might have all kinds of like comforting things to say about the other but what was their feeling about how they fit into their government their society their neighborhood whatever you know it was more like keep your nose to the ground and work they didn’t have a lot of we didn’t have a lot of talk about identity like my dad talked to me about a lot of that stuff my grandparents they were they were working people and they worked anyone.
we were safe and did our homework and shit they could care less about a lot of you know a lot of Social and racial identity in that kind of thing we didn’t have those. I like just being a good person and and go to church and like be like work hard and stay out of trouble and do your homework don’t hit girls at school a real straight down the middle shit you know did you mainly adhere to that or are you a rebel in your youth I War a war corduroys in the sweaters that they brought me from Kmart will I come over lunch so my Rebellion would be a not wearing my shirt all the way up to the top that was my that was my Rebellion were you interested in when you were like you imagined you scarred by the Japanese teacher your head to that that’s like you have not loved him he was fantastic he was all he was an amazing Park mr. Matsumoto was fuckingawesome
number to made an impression on me you can just start making up that name and find your way through it and still be right or maybe I’m in your grandma side maybe those maybe I like to dehumanize what what when you were like so I can pick your age 10 11 12 whatever but like at a certain things that there’s a point where you where your future is like
you know like what was the astronaut dream or the like I remember me and my best friend said we were going to we were going to get a boat and we were going to sail into the Bermuda Triangle I we were going to like just like find out what the deal is with the Bermuda Triangle and weird pinky swearing or like a seriously do you know how old people get fat and old and then they don’t want to do that if they were like no for real if I can know we’re going to look you up and where it likely we set a date and I if you know of course I fought them over and I mean my personal dream like that was it I had romanticize being like in like the Secret Service or some shit but only because am I don’t mind the Secret Service guys would have got like somebody in the government knows everything and it’s got to be those guys
protecting the president I guess I don’t know why is like what you’re supposed to do like like what if the president grabs a hammer and goes it himself with the client of it what’s what’s your responsibilities as it’s between him and between grammar and him yet at the whole movie sings this is for the American people that I’m doing this there’s a microchip in my head are you supposed to be like this is my boss I didn’t have like fevers and sometimes when they wake up and cold sweats and crazy shit all the time like she has to get right in front of that sneeze that I gave him that kind of big question is like when they I remember when Obama got elected there was kind of doubling up of Secret Service efforts and things which
wizard simultaneously like it’s kind of like by the millennial definitions it’s like oh we’re racist we’re noticing is a black president so let’s let’s close ranks everybody if you’ve drifted further into the Outfield when he came up to bat 6
Trevor up from high school I let my friend Mike are people who listen to the show he drives a cab in New York right now he sent a postcard jokingly saying to a friend that was going to Chicago when I think George Herbert Walker Bush with president and they gave him a hundred questions and among the questions were are you homosexual are you a member of the Communist party like they had the postcard so they haven’t changed their questionnaire for 1955 wheeler pay lake
hey is there in knowing if someone’s gay that was someone at the mall
we’ll wait for them to sue us then we’ll stop asking the news doesn’t loosen when it was that so that we drove all the way to Whittier
with that the idea of what I was getting to is like okay so the Secret Service how much does it get flushed and switched over for each president like they have to have a big must have a professional code that supersedes what didn’t the guy just resign like the head of the Secret Service just resigned I think I’m I’m making up keep track. No reason. Yeah and I feel like what I’m doing is literally called upstaging you like
call Mike by the way I just got a text that if you need to hook into all your gear there I have the DIA when I going to do the other thing to do.
Cuz that’s that’s your lead knows everybody doing
that’s good
reading books
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering if I can smell food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out while actually. But you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes out the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film earth like a verb you’re always in good hands
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no
that’s what you’re going to still there still was not just a power move this is an actual functional tool yes it’s a thing used for sitting back and you make the other person go like this you’re fucking them over if you hug the back want I learned that in drama club
upstaging imagine living a secret service guy comes in office that’s like what if your wife is Muslim what if you what if you like like like they do have Secret Service as a guest will ask him all kinds of questions for her
you’re welcome
okay let’s get it let’s get into the wrapping portion of our show would last for now until 9 90 minutes from now so want to do this I got a bunch of shit that can be done it’s just what we want to start by giving me a Beat
how did you guys meet with all of us together you guys are what show it’s funny we were we were both I was a rogue cop
and then I had to say hello to my new partner
now we wait we wait we just did the show
are you making beats on the on the play tonight
now you’re going to leave
you already I have written are you in a freestyle for us
Walt Whitman you write you write with your heart you do your best
happy because rap music is never going anywhere it’s in all of the water the fire the wind and your hair mislead
well I’m a rapping man and I’m here to sing I want to drop about everything but I can’t not yet till I get a Harmony in my heart
I want to do my part so I bought a gun for some reason the president committing treason
just by sitting in that office I hear him cough this
and I think is he going to die and then I wonder why I’d be happy for somebody to be in pain because I’m on the hate train my name is motherfuking and see I’m going to put everybody in a minute side of my pee I’m going to drink it down and pee it out cuz that’s what a real
what about if you’re only drinking teas and water is teeth and if you pee it out it’s twice as much puc so you got to see
freshness you got to get back
the quest was you can pee in Texas so you can pee on Extras and if you can’t be long you should stretch it out like I do cuz I got a really small bladder so I be longer than I have to go to the bathroom I let people think I’m still going when I’m blowing even though nothing is showing it
so now what do we have cash prizes hello that’s like in video games when you beat someone up and they dropped money
I want to hear more just
rapping more rapper more extemporaneous freestyling. Blood is other people shit for my songs and
what should I put on here well part
what is there any significance to the name open mike Eagle. I found the armchairs snooze setting bored you to death answer and the truth is my government name is Michael Eagle at open mic
and so then I just smashed all that shit together
in retrospect you’re correct
it would be the thing to do now like if you start to know to the 2003 or whenever I think about it everyday
you made that where you say my name is open my Google thing I was overcompensating and got stuck it in Forever
you can be like John Cougar Mellencamp The John Mellencamp that was a great decision I’m going to drop on his strength
you were born was the eagle that was so you can’t get it you can escape your destiny and I liked it I just didn’t realize it was enough
Eagle I can’t feel like I should do you know what it is my dad’s name to arrive so I never thought it was fucking special II do whatever you have to either be like a detective or a stripper cuz my Google is good
you can write a series of detective Detective
put a beat on you God damn it.
Segment
I like them a lot.
what is a sample from They Might Be Giants by the way
the last one was too
Army call
doesn’t like this
you put you put him to sleep like a shark upside down
New York
Ryland Ryland are your children if it’s definite shape and has morning but if you need your kid
spell it how you want to spend the time with you you’re an inventor Thomas Edison but if I was so hard I’d let us in, tell a change Tire around I treated her with respect then the car wrecks chicken back to Avis
I don’t know what it would take
I know what happened. You booked my mother liked some type of athlete or my mom why did I personally know I don’t have to be your mom or your mom anywhere there’s nothing stopping at the bathroom and this is the truth I’ve finally discovered right now but he fucked all about mother so that means all of us are sisters and brothers he is the man of many lovers as he said as he repeated all over and did he return the car like nothing happened and it was full of used prophylactics
look at the thing when you’ve interrupted and he still had to pay full price plus a cleaning tree does the people were like we’re not cleaning semen or cleaning fee
I found is liquid confidence I want to put it in the sarcophagus I got the pillars I got the house I want to creep in there like a tiny Mouse I got super powers going to shrink my ass down going to go to the Oval Office and go to Ground Round it’s a restaurant chain in the Midwest
Bennett Midwest with Kik fresh not fucking with incest a small like insects hide them like with Zak witness protection that’s how we do it sprinkled it here Brandy section has been like the fifth section maybe torso big is get in they head like cornrows for Twisted just watch how we blow like ballistic missiles cuz the Exile so close together like textiles mouth miles never stopping with the news in Primetime of light shine they didn’t want to stand for the tenth time for break it down in bounds when I get with info has no space to be left-wing come back to have them dancing like Ben Vereen and they system if you got them hook addicted nicotine make a small fix your friend cuz I’m coming so pretty big big want to get shot down when I plan to spend this is that new Smackdown 1 2 3 they can’t move
if they think I’m in difficulties but I’m watching tell them double features in the movie but it’s all day it’s all that we are fat. Hit her with a baseball bat his fault the cleric with their Madame they get their best when we share this Christmas
I don’t know how I do that
did you do a special lamp that you
Kevin Meaney who passed away we did passed away a wrap on a Saturday or Sunday if I move the crowd like fungus way for Bingo rig amazing Furniture rapid as earlier I will miss the curlier that means I looked through your window I’ll make you sick and larger fucking lymph nodes feel like it was cancerous Dempsey’s want to get dressed up like beats on the master is next to their name like Barry Bonds with an asterisk after he hit the homerun I am the Shogun that no one I killed them I have urges with a blowgun when they’re trying to do with what they do open Words up like a newspaper added that when I bet I’m not Drop Dead Fred that old school movie from the 80s by the slavery but they can’t do nothing cuz they feel small is a baby but they said they want to come through with newest ship with they just missed me how we do and how we doing hello hi
yeah
upholstery with supposed to be
incredible
Target
Vincent Price breakdown rain supposed to rain
coverings spiders Delight personal it’s just business want to fuck your mother what is this I want to see your pussy tour mouth a bunch of models from the north to the South. It ain’t personal opinion out the bullet like a gun you telling me this motherfukers done and every T and it Rhymes everything rhymes with t that’s all me Ice-T yeah yo I got to go I’m going to get an ice cream so don’t confuse that with what my name means my name comes from the streets
Yelp am I sore feet that get sore when a walk I thought your mama
oh shit Jimmy Stewart’s here too
I saw your mama was down side
why obviously I need to be
oh yeah
we can take a break and talk about you again okay it’s like flick flick so so now we’re at the point in your life you being raised by your grandparents okay where are you you’re not like a six-year-old on the playground that’s into hip-hop are you know I was into how many this is a thing like older sister Mike my first rap I heard I got in my mom’s car and she’s playing fucking Eazy-E’s first album this fucking 1987 date of my mom’s car when I was six and I was like
what did great but that’s that was just what was all around me so like I never am at least at that point in my life I wasn’t like oh God is awesome cuz it was his life and so actually it’s skate into like rock music and shit that I was seeing on MTV
what country western with like this my parents music this is grown-up shit this is like so did you reject it kind of is what it wasn’t so much that it was just like the soundtrack of my surroundings Tribe Called Quest The Day La Soul Tribe Called Quest The Brand Nubian burn everything down and and and it was like there was a there was sampling legislation that happened that I had no idea had anything to do with it was like very very and they were part of the original lawsuits that changed hip-hop forever like they had they were sampling like the turtles and just interludes of shit but there wasn’t there were no standing laws or no
sorry for how you go about punishing that and so the copyright law for hip-hop started with them and started with Biz Markie and then it became like a legal to the point where these the record labels and the guys who own those Masters could sue for the amount of money that would just kill a whole project it could kill a whole label it could put everybody in the bankruptcy and it changed hip-hop forever that’s why hip-hop can’t sound like a used to like they’ve the records that I grew up loving or all illegal right now you can’t make any of those
do you think that when we go to music in general even Italy maybe our grandparents went to Elvis for the same reason or Little Richard or whatever like are we going to music when were in the mood to fuck her fight and that’s why conscientious music like a message in your music that gets going to never liked win that stock market battle where it’s like hey over here I got I’m selling Arrested Development like I got a leak in the nineties I was like like I ate it seems so much harder and so much more worthwhile to try to rise above the equally charismatic stuff like that easy thing you’re talking about I remember the the white guys in the locker room just like everyone knew it by by like syllable boy everyone had it memorized and it was it infected everybody I guess because it was just for the same reason that who you who knows like like like what the time doing the twist or whatever the fuck like like like it’s always been the same as rock and roll it’s like oh they’re talking about fucking they’re talking about anger
and about something my parents don’t like and this is finally authentic and it’s been too inauthentic and now it’s authentic but the problem is that that authenticity never goes hand-in-hand with like it isn’t a question Dan is what you’re wondering no no no idea
authenticity test go hand-in-hand with I want to smash someone in the face I shot someone today I’m horny I mean you know what what it is with hip hop and I don’t know if this is all too but it’s like that more of hip-hop when I grew up with hip-hop restarting that were hella options in terms of the type of content you could get in a popular rap song even staging of getting drinks you could have NWA and you can have Public Enemy and all that I was able to exist in the same space what I think happened with rap music is that ultimately
the rap music that aligns more with like our overarching cultural values it becomes easier for that to spread than things that are talking about going against that part of it is because if guys are rapping about being poor and how they’ll always be poor and how being for makes them angry and how they they took the the lower class lifestyle being maybe not necessarily applauded by the the protagonist in the music but certainly being coped with being celebrated do you think that maybe part of it is because that’s a that’s easy to digest for everybody including people who say racist and like good music right and what what I’m saying specifically about rap music like as if you look at like dr. Dre’s The Chronic album and then how much pains like every
cuz it was one of the first times where a high-profile rap release was overtly about like fucking and money and like you said it that people could identify with no matter if they like or identify with the people making it or not they could identify with those values like those are cultural values over all right and I feel like once people able to dial into that then that shows the motive hip hop that was able to become more dominant butt cuz it’s like the thing that I always hear of recovery but that that that historical era of Hip Hop was like over the white people flooded in like like that the Suburban white kids that don’t it’s not identifiable but it’s the charismatic what does it all the music was good cuz I got my Suburban EPMD Eric BN Rakim NWA
Too Short like a law like that that West Coast I like we all listen to it because the music was good like the quality was really good at production values were really good and the end their records were actual albums look like the whole record said said something it wasn’t just a bunch of bullshit and rock and roll wasn’t doing it then like the rock and roll kind of gone away so we rejoin open mike Eagles biopic you your hearing Tribe Called Quest the first time so we’re still as far as I know because I want to hear the point where you actually are seduced by hip hop okay. Hi school for me because I first identified with like Tribe Called Quest Bonita applebum like I’m seeing images of people of like black people who like a cool but they’re not like I’m trying to be hard cool feel like I’m it’s okay for me to be unique it’s okay for me to Rocky’s weird Afrocentric bagging you and I wasn’t able to do
that either but I saw like self-confident people who weren’t like trying to portray like the hardest image and to me that created a space like oh wait a minute there’s room for me in this culture to cuz I wasn’t reflecting those other values either so that was the first thing and then in Chicago on the Southside in high school there was a place called Promontory Point while we were at this Park District where they had this like City sanction break dancing class but what the hip-hop community in this city used this as this meeting point for people who are into all of the hip hop art so people who were doing graffiti people who are freestyle rapping people who will break dancing people who are DJ and they all got together at this place every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and like that to split something in my head like oh wait a minute like this is not just some shit to listen to some shit you can actually do right and like taking that layer of distance away from it and making it something that I had an entry or access point
you may be intellectual as I get it maybe but not to that that sounds putative to you but like I have like like that’s how I experience emotion I need to realize that it’s the right thing to do that it that it makes sense to do it that it’s strategically that it that it that it doesn’t compromise me that doesn’t take anything away from me that it’s a proper way for me to hug my girlfriend is a way to maintain that like I’m just wondering maybe if you’re you know if you’re a verbal thinker of your logical thinker you grew up in that atmosphere and you’re like then and that moment you’re like wait a minute and if I could speculate going like cuz something that I had to like back then I remembered going like somebody had to tell me I read it somewhere they’re like no don’t you understand that
that that that going like this with a record in the 80s is is like the only recourse we’ve provided kids that used to get to Belleza in life and that all of the sampling and all and everything beatboxing wrapping itself everything all of it is it’s an expression of its like banging on pipes underneath a fucking Subterranean not under anything that would don’t let me do this myself I’m always like oh wait ok Google to these are the people and this is how we fight in this is what we do and maybe that happened to you kind of in that moment when you’re like wait a minute what do what do all these things have in common they’re they’re unsanctioned right they’re not like when you listen to music and then you started saying okay now I have to go get equipment and
making it myself like how are you I started rapping just a 16 right so and I was thinking people rap and at that place freestyle are we getting in circles and freestyle rhymin and you still like me and my friends in high school sudden decided we were going to do that if so from like the age of 16 to like 24 on all the rap I ever did was freestyles 10,000 hours you know that’s not true.
play last week because he knows that he’s just going to have to check this out to every time I do is I wrap badly chewing the show every week for years getting a little bit better don’t tell anyone I said to you if you have your mom and dad
sing it’s a trap because unlike piano lessons which I regret ever bailing on it stuff but here’s this thing or it’s like you taught those people who labor just like you’re like people that lived the relationship between freestyle and rating wraps is which is really frazzled fascinating to me or frax the fascination I’m not drunk I just making up new words like Shakespeare and don’t let me remind you that before you launched into your most of what we were doing it before I was like babbling and I doing that I was doing bits and I’m like a reminder buy and then like it was literally I watched you
like I said like sassafras and then you were like I’m going to start wrapping I saw that on your face and then I because I was just like and buy sassafras I mean pineapple and you’re like pineapple Apple battle but like you you did you could have gotten away with and in your head you you had the option of going with sassafras is a Point of Departure but you were committed to a Last Dragon like slow absolutely you know but in real time that’s all it is is making like an antenna
does the only enemy is stopping you just keep going just like when me and my friends were started before all fucking a horrible okay and what we used to do we would get on the phone and call each other old school 3-way right now with traffic we were fucking awful and weeds in our whole thing was just don’t fucking stop or no and then like what you start to do after why was built at catalog of words so then it’s not me. It’s about route route and gas actual complete the rhyme yeah yeah I got to keep going there are no It’s A Beautiful lyric it’s a poem
somebody was wasted
I don’t think we’ll get sued I was in I did this study with the National Institutes of Health a freestyle in an MRI machine MacArthur on a fucking National Institutes of Health study about I would guess because words appear as for me there visual in here brand lit up in the MRI with studying like improvisational pianist in there so they had his little keyboard you can put in there they’re trying to figure out the brain parts that are active when people reach was called the flow stainless any improvisation
it’s in so what they say is like language turns on but like for thought I’d like the normal frontal lobe thought turns off and you started thinking with like more Reptilian Brain because you don’t like you because you can’t overthink it like you said but you only use lightning through the forebrain to the forebrain is being used as a fucking silencer and a pistol or any other two it’s like a it’s like it’s is it turned like man I unfortunately the results were filled with jargon that and understand at all how do you not rap about being in the MRI machine at least for the First Take
I feel my brain is active when you’re in the Flow State like it’s a combination of lobes and I and I’ll have to like I have to like send you the shit cuz it’s like the front part turns off in a couple temporal turn off like it was a complicated and they showed them images of chess boards like I got to have a game like in like middle game or an away game or early game like like openings as like that and the same part of their brain lit up that is the same part of your brain that lights up when you see a face that you were recognized as people
an MRI machine so I think we should all just be spending 6 hours a day it MRI machines are pulling the result they get a lot of money to see what happens when you better like you’ve been getting better at being an overtime because you can actually read what I think is interesting is like no because remember this that Ken Kesey metaphor that you told me about like Joe Reed Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test that that for being in the moment which was like which is the same thing you talk about this Flow State his metaphor was that you walk up to a player piano with the role going and that you of course if you didn’t know how to play piano you’d be like you could try to play this weird game where you tried to like imitate the keys and the Zone West World title sequence
that that Ken Kesey had this like concept of if you taking a bath or or if you get enough in the moment your fingers fall and your your fingers will start to get so fast as you because what’s stopping you is thinking about observing the key is above us and then but then but then the further philosophical concept was that you could you could get into that state so much that you could finish the song and then look up and see that the player role head didn’t have the end of the song on it that you had known the song itself says the same thing in Olympic athletes say essentially the same thing like like because people want to know for very good reason how the fuck did you jump that high because like I’m sliding
most people can’t like consciously remember like the Mind State they were in when they wrote their best shooter had their best ideas like kind of you just you’re in the moment so much that you would kind of separate from it like I don’t know what’s going on I’ll find out later that we want a podcast e missing shit it’s so often has to do with actually you have to learn some shit but then it’s like thinking about it running a craft like learning piano genius inside you if the craft will Liberate the genius so working on something like working on rhyming working on a music working on writing the hard work that it takes will Liberate the the genius inside you but that was always there
size of Cisco back and forth like Dueling Banjos style okay you can just like you’re teaching me to drive you just do a little bit like what’s the definite what’s a good like short-attention-span you do like a couple of
do a little bit and then I’ll do a little bit and then you do a little bit we going we going to be there we go in acapella should we put a real simple beat on what you got yeah then I would have to switch the weather today
is so good I just came up with that right now
Nick my guitar he’s already freaking out the hell is this just look at me I’m like we are and I am sure I don’t know what I got.
Water ocean waves Sky I don’t know cuz I think about that cuz it’s okay
I’ll stop you right there because you’re doing something with a lot of rappers freestyle rap Isuzu having a crush
that’s not
that wasn’t meant to deflate used to be when I’m on the mic right Mike I say hi to people like me on the main lady every every fucking bar was that and that some people doing yours happens to be my location
scratches did you know that you just talked to them for a reason because we do that to help us get help us build the time between what we said and where we have to get to so it’s like my therapist would say I wish you a thousand times your mind will wander a thousand times I can come back bring it back so if I say fuck your mama you guys don’t start like booing and throwing chairs it’s it’s it’s my mind I got back to the old habit but increasingly aware of the crotch because what you’ll do it you’ll just find other ways to get to where you have to get with the timing and you just won’t say that particular thing every time now I’m not going to fuck anyone’s mama in a rat
rapping
that is it. It’s that easy
go back go back a meeting fuck one mother in that at all
price of a track yeah yeah yeah yeah it’s we make bread like to company button-up with spice I would do it when we watch some seeds did they get wise to get got to stop and get back with you because of clothes never whacked with how we do it that’s another crutch so you can go back to that one and try not to say so much I don’t do much and you don’t do such as you don’t do what you’re supposed to do then you do what you’re going to do if you don’t do what you’re going to do you do what you’ve always done going to have fun and running the Sun is going to be on the beach and make another one of my buns but if I cook it in a muffin if you want to fuck the bread impromptu yeah
glad you got to do it that’s how we doing when we make it to new music is translucent see through your own brain patterns from here to Saturn it doesn’t matter we can scatter and you can listen to this new rabbit story what high and low I’m not thinking about what I’m saying anymore I’m going to I want to I want to come in and let us suffer want to suck the devil’s dick
YouTube
Kelly comes from his
spiritual surprise I want to go up to heaven
I’m going to save everybody come down
Superman
we didn’t want them to
oh yeah
that was a breakthrough that was a breakthrough for us and it’s great
I wanted Spencer to wrap dispenser is not going to wrap but I abandoned then it’s right yeah I feel like you need to come back every week so I can have therapy sessions like that like how come back like 2 weeks we have technically a half hour left until the show ends when we usually ended with her app to do a musical guest
I’m here
open my Google how much did I do so I just do
do not do very much money that’s a great call I was going to do that anyway for me to be sitting here or should I go off no no no this is actually a very loving environment and I really appreciate it man
blanket on the floor of a Chinese restaurant around on my hip like Simon Patrick of black astronauts hello my name is Mike a lot of fuck are you guys doing tonight my friends have very much money though
astronauts none of my friends are superheroes that wear the same underwear though that’s it’s not bad
it’s not a big big toe
I was hoping this device by Joe commencing countdown take up another cell stage for her spacewalk to Lil Wayne is that ancient African Daisies better
we only got a hundred months to go until your hometown Windows is one two three four five
take a picture
it’s not a big big toe come say it to my face that’s none of us have very much money though they can fly run fast free Portuguese none of us have very much money though they can make hair grease out of fruits and banana plants have very much money though they can take selfies like dubuffet none of us have very much money though
amazing
that is a very kind
so do you drink do you get high I’ve been drinking in front of you and our entire time and also usually get high but I didn’t know what the fuck was going to happen here and that’s usually a really terrible time for me to get high when I don’t know what’s going to happen like looking like Mark the ones where I got high I remember a long time ago I died there was one show I did coke before the show Jesus I bought a gun
did you come here to elect someone or did you come in here about fear
and weakness part of my life I I I would do Coke if it was in my pocket and some people put it in my pocket I’m not a rocket I’m just a light socket shedding light on the cocaine truth so I’m going to fuck your mama let down blue someone or something
Don Bluth is an animator he’s going to he’s not a hater he’s a celebrated he did All Dogs Go to Heaven and he did the sequence from Xanadu on it
yeah dude like he’s one of these on man this is so God damn complicated
just like 64 and you just press it one Ally
Guy steals.
We go get funky
go to fast for me to explain to him that he walked up and said is this just a thing as did it and then after awhile you said you can you can do it
and then it was the fact that he just just hitting the one you like America
you have to program those white squares to make a bead
of democracy
so this one is a stand on here and is also a drum pad on here is coordinated to hear this is fate 650k
yo yo all the ones she going to have it on yeah yeah yeah yeah
but it’s just a grid of squares I mean I’m sure like some am DJ’s use that that this is filled with farts what is that called a soundboard this this is this is called a Launchpad is that the brand name that’s the final chapter of your story though because I know but something something took you you were at that event they were break dancers there they were people there and you’re like wait did you really break dancing to
diebold
I actually but I remember being like like when I was like I don’t know I might have been 7 anywhere from 7 to 9 years old like wouldn’t break in and grab that lightweight when it was like break dancing was before your time you’re younger than me but it was like like like like everybody was going like break dancing like really able to look at all this stuff is like and my brother and I would we recorded the movies and we would play them back until the fucking tapeheads were seizing and the the static to the screen was almost out of here just trying to like look at what the people were doing and like like it but that’s not how you become a break dancer we did pretty much the same shit
he has some people around us that she knew we were doing know what they were doing so we watch them and we watch the tapes and we just tried to emulate
we got you to the goddess point which is where you go OSHA Tokay I’m open mike Eagle I’m not but I’m going to I’m going to wrap now and so what follows that is usually a punishment of some kind some huge challenge if your life hasn’t here to traditional story structure was was there a point where you were massively challenge would you like entered The Fray you like I’m going to this is what I’m going to do now what was the started with the damn challenge you know what I mean like that doesn’t count I’m asking you I’m asking you when did you get your ass kicked after you decided to kick everything I’m going to wrap and then leg was there any point where you were like fuck I’m fucking dead I’m dead and then you were like you woke up and you were like
I can’t right now that mean
I guess it’s okay for the itching to be no I mean I really do feel like my whole career path is like I’ve signed up to take lumps every fucking day we’ll talk about that so like you step on stage like what is that like what would that do you remember the first time you went from making a decision like like like like what are you doing are you do you paste your living room your your grandparents basement and go like I’m rapping I’m wrapping up Bradford at like at some point you sign up for an open mic do you have started and so high school rapping on street corners basically and then going to college doing the same shit finding the other people who get together and wrap and break dance and all that shit right and then disband and I used to get on stage and freestyle with some times because it in the early part of my career that’s what show was for me was showing up somewhere where somebody else had music and fucking freestyling cuz I knew how to do they wanted to book me
they want to build me and they want to pay me they were like that have a fucking song so you can perform and so I had to like write for songs and memorize them so that I could perform on a show and not just be like mr. freestyle guy food like I’ve never been but I’ve been ignored then that’s how my shift ends to be as people don’t like me they don’t usually feel the need to come up to me and I don’t like it and don’t you know what would you were on fire you were on fire and then the worst moments were actually just the sound of dinner plates do anything I would open for people for people who had fans and I didn’t have any so I was trying to get there and they were like no we don’t like you at all
do you like do you have a zone that you go to if you were to walk into a venue and be like
all right there’s three people here and they didn’t expect you to show up would you be able to just do what you do or are you like a slave to like the people’s likely go with the venue is I don’t know if well does it how much does it affect you like like the energy of the room like Blake boo you for 2 minutes while you did a ride or not. What am I what am I doing here why you think he he was doing some corporate events like some big company like like like a major corporation and they had all the money in the world and the main stage that was a room for like
maybe five ten thousand people was for Huey Lewis and the News and because it was the end of this corporate weekend nobody came because they all want to go home or you know talk about go to the bar to the thing and nobody was there except for like you know some 30 people in the front row and there’s a giant empty Warehouse of a of a space that they had paid you know Huey Lewis’s band like you know a couple hundred grand to play up and Wayne said he went there and he said they played like it was Madison Square Garden they completely fucking didn’t like there was a sea of people there and they played as hard as they would have liked if it were filled and that was the most showbizi thing he’d ever seen like I thought people like I got my money my job is to come up here and perform fuck the audience fuck the fuck to turn out our job is to get up here and play I like the Huey Lewis and the News is a shity band
they’re not great but they do use of Jeff Davis do not reflect harmontown the podcast but but I give that band 100% credit for being absolutely amazing cuz I want to know so I just want to quibble that’s not necessarily a person who’s performing for two people doing the problems we have we have exactly Thirty people showed up here it doesn’t matter if there’s not 35 there and that show business I saw the B-52’s play the thing and there was only 70 people there and they just like they hated the audience because there weren’t enough of them you still got paid they might have for the venue or something live there at that that open mike Eagle can I call you open you can call me whatever you like
raised by his grandparents Hoover let’s call him solid cyst like like we don’t know they like they were like keep your nose to the grindstone A good stay out of trouble don’t why do you like these people outside the front door who are like causing trouble reacting to trouble all the shit you stay the course then you come to the spot point oh I could wrap though so you’re messaging you’re like are you like are you selfish or are you altruistic are you thinking of you yourself philosophically my whole aesthetic is is about the value of my own art because
like I said I was saying like when I first encountered hip-hop and they’re the the aesthetic value was on everybody pretending to be the hardest right right and to me that’s so devalues the individual experience of seeing somebody else could be living right in that same Community with them but suddenly if I’m not hard that my experience is somehow less authentic than the next person in my whole sheet is a railing against that it’s all right about whatever stupid shit I want to write about your like that’s fucking just think there’s a health to that I’m glad you said that overall health of like especially the black community because that’s a tax attorney
that’s what that’s what cultural like movements lack for all that they provide they they take they draw from the bank of individuality and when we talked about white privilege one of the explaining myself I’m a little bit of that exactly because I’m talking about I got a hat on my head
like I only care about myself but there’s a difference between that and like malignant like fuck you only out to get what’s mine cuz it’s it’s not agreed it’s like it’s like it’s from a humanist it’s like that’s all I was like every human experience is valid invaluable starting with mine but not to sit on anybody else’s but this is my time at the podium and imma do my shit is because giyuu because she would say you are close to Michael because I have all these like mechanisms like I can I can I can detect anyone that’s going to tell me what to do from 600m of their head will explode before they knew what happened to them
now I have to understand that that’s not keeping me alive anymore that’s actually going to kill me is it yeah well I’m not bad but then you’re talking about a professional who is helping you so I probably shouldn’t do that she’s pretty good Michael what we’re going to say what I mean is that what’s going to kill you if it’s also like
what powers you what makes you vital that you do like what year is and right now we’re having all these arguments I mean this is this is this is a person who likes says like oh don’t go on Facebook and Twitter that secondhand smoke and then Trump got elected and she was like whoops like riling yourself up before you go to work in the normal world I’m off on a tangent but like I have like debates with her about the difference between defense mechanisms that are making you happy that she said to me most recently that I thought was really interesting was this idea that like your brain with all its fucking fucked up chemistry imagine all these like cars
whizzing around and you can focus on anyone at any time and they all intersect so like you might be having a day when you’re like fuck the system and you might be having a day when you’re like my back hurts or I’m afraid of death or and I love babies and I miss my dog and I like the color blue and I’m not trying to rap do you have to give me the wee folk you fix it when you fixate like when you’re so like if I leopard was chasing you the car you’d follow mixing metaphors would be I got to fucking get out of here and that’s a healthy version of fixation where you’re like why would you want to talk about Stanley Kubrick movies while you’re running from a leopard is going to kill you so far we have a tendency is the chimpanzees that we are that we evolved from wee-wee very easily fixate on danger things and when you’re in a conversation with
somebody when you’re in a little thing of challenging you like she’s like look ahead I’m not asking you to not fixate on shit I’m asking you to fixing even more and look all the way ahead to wear that car is going is it headed toward a brick wall or do you want to be friends get through this alive be a good boyfriend like get another drink and your showell like like or do you want to do you want to follow the car that’s going to explode I did but that’s my new thing is I’m like even with her for quite a while now right the same that they did you find her because you have an ability to like you’re in reform my neurology I did you find her
do you find her appear like intellectually that you can listen to her in like an end dig what you’re saying or or like or do you instantly want to shut her down like because you have the ability to turn things into mythology and I find her to be somebody who’s like super duper smart about shit that I have not had time to study or think about which is specifically neurology the way the brain works but she doesn’t she doesn’t she doesn’t go like you should stop drinking you should be a bet you know what she’s like how are you fucking up like how are you like keeping yourself from being happy that’s 2 p.m. to give to she’s just more like like oh here’s how our brains work here so you could be a superhuman kind of like I don’t know once a week at least
mr. I don’t like approval it makes me suspicious
you love approval not from those people
you know what they aren’t there a grid of white squares
hit it
are there any butt like in that silences and because I made you you you were candid with me you said that it would kind of amazed me I didn’t expect to hear that answer from you but I was I was like so like but you want everybody else to be happy right yeah I know I would love for everybody to be happy and you and I both believe that if everybody focused on like they knew who they were and do when they were lying and not lying like that that would be the beginning of like the solution. What do you think about that like are you talking to to she knows my deepest therapy shitt I don’t talk about that type of shit but I just intend to honor whatever creative with my man in a moment and that mostly tennis
be about some conversation I’m having inside of myself that I could be about the world or it could be about what the fuck it’s like right now on the stage you know what I mean but it would if I’m sitting with a beat and I want to write to it my whole thing is whatever nugget or seed that I get I’m just going to follow that to where the fuck it goes all right
wait. What’s that we’re going to going to demonstrate our new skills and our therapy and everything oh by the way Spencer real quick
I’m going to roll dice on my new home on my gnome Druid character this week and so we’re going to start that shit next time now I heard tell it wasn’t going to be on that is it going to be a gnome drew it again so I’m going to go gnome Druid all right
what it what do you think should I shouldn’t say again
didn’t we agree that was going to be a gnome do it again
didn’t we agree that it was going to be a gnome Druid yeah and then you texted me on Saturday that I you didn’t want to do it anymore
you know Druids could turn into Birds I’m going to be a chicken doubt if I’m going to commit
I’m doing okay yeah I know it’s great you seem bummed out about it I think Dan’s bummed out a good point he’s so focused and bother you for a week and a half about my my new character yeah I’ll be Gray
but I think you should close it for sure
close your eyes
okay
keep closing your eyes
only now I command it is okay right I’m good
I am the Dark Lord of Darkness
seems redundant
people call me redundant
I’m not a pundit
I’m going to I’m going to run it down to the feather down with a pillow Brown yo. Yo yo is a crutch here we go my name is Morpheus
I’m going to adore.
Don’t think just wrap just flow just go just put your head on your toe State when your heads on your cholo you go to go to your soul and go down to the buffalo
are buffaloes extinct but your mama’s pussy so deep that it didn’t it’s like a sink but that’s not an issue I need a tissue I’m going to cry
because I miss you
cuz you’re my baby I gave you earrings I gave you a ring I gave your mama’s pussy so much and started to stain your mom she has a larynx in it
I don’t know My Little Pony
it sings out loud
it seems higher than a cloud
your mama’s your mama’s pussy
I wasn’t raised in Spanish
imma send you a picture. There’s three holes
let’s list them
call 101
where the whole comes from the pee pee every woman needs to give her name but that’s where the world started to get create jet with a p
I told everyone
whole number two
do you make the poop with the food
when you’re in the mood
whole 3
what time
whole 3 PC out of me
2030 throw anything at you please do a golf ball just like the move House in Philadelphia somebody I’m asking you to help me that’s happened do all the way across anybody but I can Bodyslam your like I was Sergeant Slaughter okay Make Me Hurt that’s what I say but that’s what I do that’s like the one like blink when he’s fucking capture ring guard rescue with Zelda from Hyrule in high school I played that shit that’s what I do know but I already said that so now I repeat you got to throw me more things I don’t know what the fuck
Pepe was too short
I think it’s
all right. Well do it closer show with one of your fucking awesome what do we are you with it can I just order that like if you want to do one just do your thing there’s nothing I would rather do more the song I just wrote a couple weeks ago about how I don’t want people to invite me to their wedding
so don’t invite me to your wedding
you didn’t invite me to your funeral so don’t invite me to your wedding
so I’m not going to be on time then I’m going to talk some guilt that but that won’t bro and heartbroken I don’t know you can ask me if I’m going to go but I recommend that you don’t though and it don’t care who going to say that shape of a single they’ll both deep in a Pringles can and everything so, I don’t even know one Huxtable I’m not going to run from to give no subterfuge to buy can you play bum bum shoes and I’m trying to tell him something new this must be some kind of joke. That big dumb Antelope but it look like maybe I was down I have my foot on the roast yes
play the tag or basketball it was college shirts or a slice of God y’all can keep the dress code for y’all to go with her some this house of our Burnett for the chicken and baked potato just play some Hangouts please don’t please don’t make me back bro and say all this cuz I hate to say no I don’t invite me to your wedding
open my gate home
I believe we are back at nerdmelt meltdown next week right
and thank you all for having me a thank you all for being cool and sit down I’m trying to think there’s going to be a display of power in like whatever
Atlanta am I hope you’ll come back please. I think I’m going to get dinner going to roll characters that were going to play D&D Pathfinder sound next week for real
text me Curry home
can Harmony are on Jeff Davis next week for real next chance next week trivia
because a joke