Episode
Episode: 236 – LIVE from Esther’s Follies at SXSW’17 in Austin, TX
Description
Guest Doug Benson and audience members discuss movies, Dan & Spencer do some feminist role playing, and Dan gets complimented on his beer choice.
Transcript
Esther’s Follies in Austin motherfuking Texas Hermantown is now in session
hello stop by Southwest
is it me or is it quiet here now it’s smaller and I love it only the sexy people now
give me a hand specialist make up a little bit one to higher higher higher I also like South by Southwest look at the music louder I think maybe
Dan Harmon
thank you thank you so much thank you I feel like I remember being here we were here at one point yes you are
and you are delightful as I was going through a divorce and I think we are through the divorce side of it afterwards you’re like wait I’m miserable
the unaddressed issue behind the note behind the
They Don’t Love Dogs they hate your show I lost you I lost you in 10 seconds me from the first time I have no idea what you’re
but I do love about performing here at Esther’s Follies this is just always a band right outside I can hear him something something away at the secessionist movement
the company that the walls of America let me out I’m Texas for God’s sake I Want to Be Free is Texas’s meaning or is Austin to save you from Texas. Capital of the intelligent secessionist movement because they’re racist
in Austin they’re doing it cuz they’re into the fucking Pogues
I told him I have a bad feeling about the show
has a 13 year old girl in front of Jeff Epstein they recorded a deflected into a space vacuum my am I am I am I some kind of crazy person saying microwaves are cameras
I want to know what I don’t want to miss speak and have people start to think I’m crazy that might start voting for me than what you’re giving me piles of money and chanting my name in the streets if I accidentally say something so fucked up into the most visceral
are you a reporter keep talking I’m writing down today’s date so I know when you were arrested
what is today the 13th movie we were delayed due to weather not extreme weather Normal weather weather changes get over it
l a hard life as a hard line to take LAX shrouded by a mystical fog John Carpenter Pirates were far from the Samantha but it’s totally normal and our flight was delayed a couple times and so I was in the the new United Lounge I had to buy a ticket for $60 I read a there was a i retweeted a infographic that showed you what if the world was a hundred people hey Spencer how you doing hey guys
I was involved in what if what if the world was a hundred people spends over $90 a day and I’m like so I’ve been like monitoring my I’d like to put I am done with that before I get out of bed and I’ve spent I pay a publicist $3,000 a month I would have TMZ
play gananam sure the joke’s on me I’m sure it seems he doesn’t want to write anything about me but I can’t know that unless I stop giving these people $3,000 a month
that’s more than $90 a day right there forget where I got my quest, but I I paid so forget the money
you son-of-a-bitch $60 to get into this Lounge which look like an Apple store with melon slices and there was a young lady she was sitting a few counters a way for me there was a sea of tables and they all have the little AC outlets on them she had her laptop she was like kind of a Rachel Maddow but blond like she was statuesque and we had a long necks and died and she was she had Bluetooth in and she was tapping the laptop was speaking very loudly about what she was doing this and I think it should be there soon that and it was like she was loud but I noted it but I didn’t have to sit near her and she was in a sea of Brazilian Brazil as in the movie The trying to kill him like business like Brazilian at Brazilian ask see if it wasn’t like a private area you know it wasn’t like she wasn’t like there was a fireplace raging next to her
waiting to save anybody from from anything with hot cocoa
most airport in London for 5
who is like vacuuming and picking things up and I always right race-neutral characters but this woman was black then I’d felt like it was important because she was like in her seventies I felt that she was an African-American and she said she was picking things up she leaned over to me into my Minecraft game and she went
how come you haven’t told that woman to wipe it down
which activated this weird Tim Allen like instinctively where I was like I just wanted her to like me so I was like Hey I’ve learned to tune out worse than that and she’s like
it sounds like you were an actual get out with a real human being in your first instinct is what I haven’t you fellow consumer told her to shut the fuck up and my response was neither because Madame she has a right to be human nor was it like you’re right don’t jump jump shut up Madame Noire was it you tell her it was the best it was like why did my past steam shooting through the only opening available turned me into a weird 80s comic like lamenting my
I’m at home just being nice to a person who said something to you and I don’t want to beat me up. I did everything so here’s what so then that was she walked away I was like fucking nailed it with her she
she’s like I hear that vacuum vacuum today I really I made someone like me
so then this moment after that old guy walks up and because I’ve done to this woman and it’s like it’s like 30 seconds later and spend just like like 7 ft tall Rachel Maddow giraffe woman on her laptop it’s just going on she’s just I think she’s just in a Zone just explaining what what spreadsheets work
and he goes because she had no idea she wasn’t like she wasn’t like blah blah blah I don’t care about anybody it was more like blah blah blah I haven’t thought about anybody but you didn’t realize that she was being disruptive or didn’t have a phone in their hand they were just talking to their friends that loudly when would you go over to them and be all high-handed about it like we got a license when cell phones were invented to start getting real fucking Dicky in and it’s justifiable because
this guy Chris like he goes to Spanish music
fucking like I was like watching peripherally cuz I’m not going to turn my head to someone will beat me up like she was like oh my God oh my God I’m so sorry Stacey stop and she packed up her shit put her laptop in her bag put her back on her way into Transformer fog and phased out like she went to a different lounge with a different airport may have hung herself I don’t know
thanks she wasn’t she wasn’t absolutely think he’s like he felt empowered to walk up to a woman and say you’re being loud
that’s the best the tennis court in that is that like some balls hit it and go straight up like that guy the answer maybe he would have loved he would have he would have done it twice as fast so another old man he saw another old bald white guy doing that he wouldn’t have fucking done it he wouldn’t have walked over here to Atlanta’s like two old guys doing exactly
old guys talk without a phone right here in town
all white guys yelling
restaurants are open in the way people on the phone I’ve been in restaurants where I have seen someone on the phone and then I ended the person that’s more annoyed by the person on the phone I’m more annoyed by them that there that they’re taking more attention to their it’s like the person is technically on the phone it’s not really a license for you to vent your antipathy you are at your your your your fucking inhumanity I don’t know what my point is no I had no point it’s just a little story I’m just a journalist
I had a good moment in the airport lounge I went and I was flying to Vancouver and was up in the Air Canada Lounge at LAX and sat down because there’s a plug in my phone and it was a guy with his I would have some girlfriends and talking at the top of his lungs about nothing so I was like I just never going to stop talking so I went somewhere else and there was another guy is Australian which is worse because when I allowed rich guy is Australia
radiation safe in the Las Vegas area where they all know what the rich guy sounds like I’m a prisoner cuz I found the only other place with I don’t have to hear that guy and this guy would not stop talking about himself and right in the middle of my sadness Sarah Silverman hey Jeff start telling me stories about her and Tom Cruise together and that guy had to hear her Tom Cruise do you shut the fuk up
I think that mother fucker we have better stories over here with more funny people
we’re not yelling them cuz we have a we going to talk about him, kill him then we kill him
therapist has taught me so here’s the thing I’ve learned that’s like very very like powerful to me in moments when people want an apology for me which I use to interpret as them trying to leverage me they’re manipulating me what’s going to exchange here if I listen to an apology when do I can still feel all of that like I could still looking somebody go tell you’re a vampire you’re a piece of shit like you just trying to suck energy out of my body but my therapist explain to me she said you are Vigilant against abuse you cannot handle somebody accusing you of abuse
you can’t handle people telling you that you hurt them if you would like this and you felt like a soft splat
as you are reaching for your backpack and you turned and looked and someone’s nose was bleeding you would not be offended by that person’s claim that you had hurt them you would be Doom you would stop at nothing to to to to to make it up to them is that person started to imply as you apologize that you had done it on purpose or that you had done it because you weren’t a good person that you had made a choice earlier that day to ignore their needs and things like that you’d start to get triggered you’d start to sure to get defensive there’s an irony that happens there every day and every bar somebody hurt somebody and then someone wants to feels bad about it and then someone is like oh I feel bad about this and I feel so bad about it because it seems like you don’t fucking give a shit about me and then the other person is like how dare you accuse me of being the kind of person
I took a way to turn
it always takes a weird turn it’s really good to go and that is the thing and it’s like like what I am just slowly starting to realize is that people saying that you hurt them they’re not saying you abused them they’re saying if they got hurt and it doesn’t matter what they say beyond that they could put all the frosting they want on it because they’re coming from wherever they’re coming from they don’t meet that they can’t make you an abuser they can say that they’re hurt and everyone can apologize for hurting people and everybody should be vigilant against admitting there in
user because if you’re not a fucking abuser that’s an important thing there are a couple people among us who fucking love abusing people
like good we should definitely separate from them and it just the way it’s like I’m just noticing these daily exchanges I like I’m like wait a minute I’m trying to take a step back and going like okay wait you’re hurt I hurt you I hurt you I did not abused you I’m not an abuser I’m a quarter I hurt you
have you or wait we all have and I’m assuming you have to what have you did abused somebody like that when they want to put all the time
abuse is like self-pity and like things like that like I mean to Cody like to look at the text and go like I’m trying to like do something here that has nothing to do with her well-being and everything to do with mine like I’m actually I’m actually hurting her on purpose which is nice when we’re doing that so that we can apologize when we accidentally hurt people because that shouldn’t be that big a deal there’s eight billion of us walking around or just step on each other’s feet I mean not not just not just for you but for you especially because you have the ability to seem abusive when you’re not being abusive
we think the love you can you are so good verbally I’ve seen you lay people out with a with equipped with a line because they’re accusing me of abusing them well I need them to know that their piece of fucking shit that you’re really good at that like I can thank you who I’m hitting the Bulls-Eye when someone goes a lot buddy and you and you just shoot an arrow right into their heart if you imply that I hurt you on purpose I will strangle you to death I will wrap my hands around your neck until your dad ever again your gifts are your curses you’re a good writer and so you’re also really good at hurting people’s feelings thank you
stop saying thank you then say no but I’m being glib but what I’m saying is yes because what you love you feel being yourself following your own Bliss like you can sometimes be hurtful to people that is not the same crime as being abusive to someone we all commit both of those crimes heartfulness often comes with fat listen asst carelessness you weren’t thinking about me when you change lanes on the freeway like it’s different than you thinking you’re entitled to just drive however you want like there’s shades of abuse there where you just like fuck everyone on the freeway like like everyone went when we get down and fight when we start arguing with each other those rare moments were actually able to connect with each other and we find out truly what everyone is always saying the whole time which is I didn’t mean to do that I didn’t mean
that’s not how I meant it like that is like that always like turns everything around you face is that when you react and you accidentally an elbow verbally and and hurt somebody’s feelings is that you’re so succinct and is so well-written it sounds meditated like it doesn’t sound Europe Europe come pick me up so that everyone drives home tonight going I don’t see what Jeff was seeing and him like when somebody hits you
and you respond it sounds so good it sounds of the bueser if it wasn’t it was just you reacting like this are locks all around us you locked somebody put a wall between you and them and you hit a button and then you just watch them die you just just stare at them will they turn purple and you going to like what I thought you wanted to be near me
I guess he get out in theaters so fantastic film
but yeah it were looking into all those things and have a curse of being good at hurting people’s feelings and it’s not a gift where all the way it’s it’s a week we watch movies about Mafia people and serial killers and things because we’re fascinated with that behavior because it’s not a gift but it is rare because our species is predisposed to compassion it’s weird when somebody somebody circuits are so fucked up that they could actually hurt somebody so meticulously so so horribly we focus on it because we don’t want it to happen anymore it’s like ribbons and flowers spread at the site at an intersection where a little girl got hit by a car when we go to the the point of the pain and we watch it when you look at it then we go here’s where this happened. Doug Benson
he might be gone backstage and I didn’t either
got to see Michael Landon do some quick fact checking on everything I say having a great time
lies lies what happened to who did you wrong in Austin already
got to be somebody last night there was a guy I was just walking down the street in my own business and it’s in front of one of the bars
and he goes I go what you got
summary of food in this bar but the bar next to his food I’m going to pick up your meal and all of your drinks I’m going to take care of it for you and I was like that’s awesome and then we go to his place next door he introduces me to everybody and then I’ve got a friend that’s not going to leave while I eat the free food and drink with free drinks and it’s going to get weirder and weirder as the thing goes along to the point where you finally have to be like hey man I all right I can buy my own food I didn’t even know who keeps offering me Molly and I’m like dude I’m a weed guy for real for real I have the same personality and voted stay in touch more often
did more for buying me some chips and queso and a couple of vodka sodas weathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting apparently I can get out well actually, never misses that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and black spinner amount each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes related my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest Phil murdered like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blackstone up with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
I had an encounter at the hotel bar that it occurs to me I’ve had 25 times in the last five years at least which I hadn’t started noticing and I don’t know what the actual account is but it seems like this happens all the time and I have talked about encounters like this on the podcast where a person is that like a person is projecting their agenda behind the ears of vodka
somewhere to get a big laugh audio podcast this point it’s like in that bear movie with a baby bear goes wrong
I didn’t see the movie
I said I said at the hotel bar and I was listening to this there was a lady next to me and she was talking to the bartender and they were talking about but they were talking about South by Southwest they were talking about the both of you each other because she drinks there a lot and she works in real estate and so she’s a big mover and Shaker and she’s always at the at the hotel bar and he knows who she is and and and and they know each other and then but not that well well if it’s at least our talk to myself by Southwest and they’re like yeah they start talking about how many famous people are in Austin this time of year and it’s like it’s like Hollywood with all of a sudden that you know what this time of year all the sudden there’s all these famous people and her big example was what she called the guy from The League
and I was just like taking my that has learned his name
what is the guy from the league and I swear he’s like no I have not like I don’t know what you said you could use the Google him this saying the guy from the lake I’m not saying I’m just saying like where your yes and in his assertion that looks like Hollywood around here yes I agree famous people everywhere for instance the guy from The League
do you know who the fuck learn his name could be anyone from a basic cable TV show that is finished I believe it was baseball right I think they look up to the four guys who don’t know anything about sports podcast
but then she does every podcast
here comes in and I go do you have any mustard
here we go wait for it that’s what I said do you have any mustard which is a very provocative question find the kid I’m going to call him a kid behind the bar said we have mustard but it’s Dijon it’s not yellow now I took that as a kindred spirit like I said it’s all right I’m used to it
do you have back to talking to her and then I’m like I think he’s going to get the ground mustard but so I just offer up I go like yeah I mean I was at a restaurant recently where they had yellow mustard on the table and I kind of blew my mind and he and she both look at me with a combination of curious Nest curiosity I think they call it
and discussed just like the vermouth and the dry martini is just fucking running around the rim yeah I’m disgusted with how curious I am what the fuck are you talking about what the fuck
are you babbling about what you said in effect hi I have a lot of opinions on mustard
skip with them at this point I’m not sure but he might have heard was it’s okay that I have no yellow mustard or any mustard I’m used to having no mustard like I’m Harry Potter before Hogwarts and roll them like like I don’t deserve mustard I’m okay with it
they both looked at me in a way that brought me back to the sixth grade like playground where was just like I’ve died like to contribute
ew gross so gross you’re so gross you’re such a gross monster what are you talkin about talking about mustard much your gross and then I just went back to talk about real estate which is so fucking cool
cuz it’s Texas there’s lots of Real Estate
overtime my burger tasted better with the inhumanity on it I was like I’m not going to fucking play this game I’m not going to I’m not going to be pretty and say like I asked for mustard earlier I’m just like good burger call this fucking block here’s what happened
walks away she’s got real estate to sell
free video subscriber that was made
this guy goes he goes so what are you doing in town what your schedule like I didn’t start a conversation with this fucking guy room number I said I’m going to Esther’s Follies he’s like yeah for what
just received
this guy’s on the road so high it’s untenable it’s ridiculous I just want to say I would like to settle up I’d like to settle up let me settle up so what are you what are you doing over there I’m doing a couple of shows I’m doing a couple shows what shows he won’t stop because you can’t crucify with one nail you use a person with the person would fall off
I have a minor felony you didn’t get a hand what should I do if I’m doing a podcast it was like I got it
great charge it to my room side of the what’s the other show Jesus fucking Christ are you fucking kidding me I said it’s promoting a show on
Cecil
he’s so which is face like a fucking pigs cock like like like like like a Beetlejuice 2 special effect like I can’t let you know enough that I have no idea where you work
thank you for coming on the show by the way you’re welcome I’m going to kill this fucking guy who’s going to get no-trump chair from his fucking like muscles detaching from the eyes rolling back into his head and polishing a glass like like there’s anyone else coming in at and if I like the robot in passengers for Chrysler right there
are we bringing the gym the rest of the bike
I don’t know nobody nobody gives a shit about Wyatt it’s a fucked-up think the only reason to watch it is if you like those two actors and you’d like it to be sexy for you to see them in space
and you feel like you don’t like me.
It’s about Tom Hanks buying night vision goggles and just living and Meg Ryan’s apartment for a while
just watching her from a cupboard
do you want to do with you sleeping
this is beyond any cheap through a wine bottle slipped on it in the first period since he was like I’m Googling her and lo and behold if you get a play that creepy play he should look you should walk around and look at every sleeping passenger headphones are in the sexiest woman there wake up at least one other ship that he was like looking at and going like I don’t like that fart joke like like just just show me that you’re not racist the but we are about that but did you notice that in the third act that movie I was making a joke cuz my girlfriend and I are laughing at it while watching it like oh my God they really think this elephant isn’t in the room like like as it turns into a romance or they’re playing Dance Dance Revolution together like they really believe they really think we forgot about this thing okay fine misstep swinging a mess whatever but like I was making a joke
Jennifer Lawrence would have to say like to Chris Pratt like my God the ship doesn’t know what it wants it needs to be raped Chris you need to rake the ship to save us and I was making that joke it was true then wouldn’t let things out or in and he had to go into it then like
we were talking about trolls in argument for the ship the ship is all blocked up and it needs to just let it go and no one says right the ship that you’re not supposed to go in there he’s not supposed to be in there he goes in there he gets in there oh my God only knows of it has to be a movie about being nowhere because he looks in a tree
again if you haven’t seen passengers first of all don’t and secondly
they’re all right it was a visual production design I have not seen get out go sit in the theater
so I can good fun but if there’s nobody else in the theater cuz I like them I like to go to get more fun with the crowd usually empty and there was the 2012 people and white people
I kind of want to go I don’t know if this is really ridiculous and being a piece of shit I want to go to a black neighborhood and watch that movie in the theater right now.
Pull up pull up
Anthony Carter Anthony Carter
South by Southwest 2018
yeah I have a very good looking black man with a fantastic cowboy hat on right now
Cindy Anthony or anybody else because I didn’t know what was I didn’t know who directed it I didn’t know what the genre was I didn’t know a fucking thing about it you just knew that it was a movie they was asking you to leave send to my girlfriend guess what spoiler she’s white
oh that’s my girlfriend’s why she’s here somewhere out here to my left me
but I don’t want to be the guy that asks all of my black friends what they think about that movie because then I’m one of the white people in that movie that’s asked but the thing is I do want to know did you watch in the theater no I have not seen it either but I
I was like I want to throw movie for one reason
hey we don’t know I know I seen I seen the previews and look for a job
do you say I don’t see a problem
better hat better shirt alright I want all the white people to listen for me for one second please
what do you mean my kind of from pretty high tonight
I thought you were different it everyone thinks I’m different every white person to go see that movie every Somalian needs to see this message people I think it makes the power to make them feel more insecure than they already do about maybe only like 15 people tops in there like that
red and white people turn back and look at me like they were bummed out in Vermont of all places in Vermont and he laughed so hard to believe whatever Reggie Cannon Dana Wishbone rotisserie like Robert De Niro Cape Fear laughter at it
and it’s funny as shit it’s really funny it’s what he’s got lots of commentary but you know right so bad it’s like I watch blade among the people
I felt their hatred of vampires
I joined it. I loved it woman comes up to me and she gives me these choices and the
this is Beth Christmas is really happening
sorry man season 3
I mean the Rick Roll thing was pretty nice in the both tortures way possible
she’s referring to a woman over there and there’s there’s a lot of things in the table and the and the weird energy that squirted out of me
was you don’t like like like Play-Doh study the steam engines with a platonic engine where you just keep up a bunch of water and you only give it so much egress as that it’s like you get if you put it at like probably like a different position you make a thing spin around it’s a platonic engine write the steam is escaping it’ll find the nearest Escape little find the weakest membrane to squeak through now is it that membranes fault so for instance why have we been a misogynistic culture longer than we’ve been a racist culture like don’t get aggravated by my assertion there but like
why are we quicker to Club women then we are to like like like why are we so able to like overcome pigment before we are able to this question for anybody on the panel
I am in a sense when that woman said to me at the airport she said how come you don’t tell that woman to shut the fuk up I said because of my mother-in-law do you know it was fake it was like it was like where the it was an essentially misogynistic like Val that that energy with them like wolf with women like that if you think women talk as loud as it can get my goat you should deal with what I do with on Christmas Eve I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about I was just trying to escape a situation to steam was so high that was the weakest membrane I would if it was the 1950s would I have said to that women like bite your tongue lady
know your place give me a call or no
is that before much worse in the second part
I bet it comes down to I mean just talking about it and I think a lot of people that feel like massage he’s not a problem they haven’t dealt with it or thought about her had a woman in their life that actually a woman in your life that answer your question Dan I think massage
massaging his is bigger than races in my hotel by what percentage but I think it’s happening because women are 50% like women are a bigger threat because there’s more of them and we’re only been written by women are going to eat I mean they’re going to be threatened because it’s half of the people and is also their mother it’s also their mama, do you know our memories are becoming a man involve becoming abusive to your mother would like like like like that black guy
yeah if you’re going it’s all directed at women and not race I like that we solve that problem race what is -1
is it is t-shirts
should I try to be hard but please continue probably get out just as good for whatever money they paid for their badges as anything we can we can think we can we fucking can’t I’m going to watch
stand back in Spencer dungeon master me waking up over being a woman Jeff play appropriate music okay
you wake up in a bad room
it’s empty
because you make less money than men
I get out of bed all right
you still in the bedroom
I put I put on whatever outfit will walk the line between me being branded a slide and me being dismissed as a human being can you manage to thread the needle one more like millions of women across the Earth to every morning up their lives
can I ask can I ask what I’m wearing no okay that’s probably a good idea
I go down to get into an Uber all right where I am to work it’s doing the thing where it’s like a block away was just spinning around for the last 5 minutes of it shows up in the guy makes no indication that that wasn’t supposed to be part of his job
I can I get in touch with you
I file a complaint with Uber it doesn’t matter he gets promoted to head of uber
you get to your job or whatever and I run for president I’m tired of this I’m tired of that so I’m fucking ending and I’ve played nice I’m running for president you lose yeah
more people hated me than life to me turns out
you did what you had to do was the popular vote no that’s what’s crazy
and it’s argue you know you might have one even harder if not for you know the Striking Okemos people a little sorry
I walk into the woods and I wait for someone to need me no one yeah no one needs you but everyone wants something from you and it’s your problem
all the trees are mad
I’d I’d go up to one of the trees. Okay see you
I thought I just heard you grumbling things about me being and why you being such a bitch
you know we’ve been growing here for hundreds of years no one’s coming through being talked about by us before until you so you’re the problem
I go further into the woods all right you do that you find you fine you know you’re you’re feeling you’re feeling cramping up cramping
attention to that it’s worse than what men have to deal with on their daily lives
but you just you don’t even you know you don’t even mention it unless it’s kind of crippling you and making you in bed the fact that you’re walking around me that’s not even worth mentioning even though it’s terrible crippling agony
bye
I go home
and I put I put on some tea
can I read a book the book has all sorts of opinions on stuff that you should do or represent that don’t even have anything to do with what you think you should do in life
I’d I turn on the television I’m going to repeat two weeks sorry on the television it’s more of the same the media is rewarding men for doing things that hurt you and punishing you for doing the things that demand your equal rights
Exodus what I’m sad reality of life
about the situation cuz I think it’ll be so funny that will make people why aren’t women funny this is terrible
everybody on Earth I tried to prove them wrong by being really dirty and lateral amazing stuff in a couple out Comedians and people in the scene or like yeah she’s getting really big but you know you’ve done everything that everybody out now
say a really funny joke I’d say a really funny joke that’s like kind of fucking crazy cuz it’s inappropriate and it goes over well you get what’s considered a polite chuckle and after the show seven guys trying to hit on you sync actually pretty funny
now can I be president no
alright so
who is the male actor that same night I think men have that problem they don’t want to accept the fact that we know they may be abused woman emotionally even if it’s on Central or not they don’t want to acknowledge it I think that’s the biggest problem I always repeat that joke that our late friend Mario races tickets really bent out of shape if you got you can call me anything you want but if you say that he’s abusing women most they’ll fucking choke it and I think that we do we should probably it’s all you have to do is just put a little radar tag on your lapel and just be like oh how am I going to acting was with anybody with people just that’s what my therapist
she’s like you don’t have to quit drinking she said that she said just noticed when you take a drink that’s it that’ll be the beginning of it and see what’s up no vodka again like we go like do they get tweeted out so we had our friends from reductress on the podcast and each other talk about the the women that stand out that they might be immediately saying hey look at this phenomenon it’s like saying look at Joan of Arc it’s like it’s like there’s more kindling there and there’s dryer weather and there’s easier ways to start fires and end end it turns to witch burning way faster when someone is just saying be aware of this like your pants
real and you admit that it’s real it means you have privilege that means no one can have your pants like you can’t pry my pants for my cold hard
cool you know what I meant gold and gold bad heart thing
I took me awhile to see things that way to is like because as I’ve said a thousand times it’s like I get it you’re a dummy white guy you’ve been born you come up through the system you and your assist of the streets you’re out there in gen pop what you perceive as the system and see how are you supposed to react if you have an ounce of salt in your salt bladder I don’t know medicine works
I feel really insecure men to really insecure really quick when that’s even challenge which I think is weird thing and they don’t want to meditate on it at all reaction if we were all told shut up stop complaining you had it easy we all it’s just that it’s got to be somebody at the top that actually has had it easy cuz they’re going to take that the wrong way it is the same reaction though it’s like what it is this the thing that we say to each other and when someone says the blicky Clark and I don’t get enough Click Clacks you say the same thing to that person that if someone said it to you you would fucking punch him in the face which is like like like fuck you like like you privileged piece of you you always like dump that shit down hill like like you’ve dumped it down every time there’s a strike every time someone sues the corporation because it had killed their kid
like we always side with a corporation that this human tendency to be like fuck you you YTP
was my point internos watch season I think you’re I think your point was the guy that was burned by hot coffee at McDonald’s really deserve to win that lawsuit
what was Joe Louis to help people don’t know but it was too hot it wasn’t a God damn old lady oh I didn’t know who it was I just remember Kramer trying it on a Seinfeld I just had that episode syndication the Johnny Cochran like they can elect guy
probably they have a lot of archives and BC, next Sunday morning not lie man and when you subscribe to see so you really subscribing to humanity
I’ve been saying that for everybody just go out there and tell the world how much time do we have left just yell at my 23 is asking us to stretch
Carol and I are you local you let you live in Austin now I’m in living in Florida right now
thanks for coming by you were great guests
are you jealous of him right now or is he going to be mad at you and the way home
I like had his Cameo and then left
his girlfriend left way before she before he came out
no she found out he’s a piece of shit he lied about seeing people that we started talking to get out of here and then he like trick or trick it up under the stage and like he took advantage of a market that was there
he wasn’t out here yeah he took advantage of the bulshit market would he have made it this far
before the stun gun
I would have got grounded my both shoulders and Center sailing
yeah if you’re thinking about it now ladies
who doesn’t want to be a very romantic thing is about to happen
what do you make an agreement that you will but you will go with her on on a night cruise down the river bed to bed with her Paces there and wait until Sunset and there’s a thousand people out there an hour went by waiting for the sun to go down as I waited an hour to watch the bats the bats come out it’ll be dark out and I won’t see Shepherd
my fucking left in a hotel room
in the right direction and I got tired of waiting for the fucking bass to come in to their rooms are the fucking best in terms of AC outlet placement when you stay at the downtown Cinema 8 in from a fucking AC outlet and a USB port it is incredible so you can learn Dwarf Fortress like like there’s no need for but please put toothpaste in your in the rooms let’s all put toothpaste in the hotel room somewhere or no cuz you know it was it was maybe I saw it somewhere parents or something
back in the room listening to ask for water and they came up and they’re knocking the door and the digits in housekeeping and it didn’t have any water but they didn’t knock on the door every 10 minutes going housekeeping like in that voice so they are we having a Radisson debate if you’d like your house to give you something to be put in order you can put a thing out I don’t know I looked up into the corners going to get caught up those good where there should only be spiders there was an AC outlet up in the corner
there’s an AC outlet up in the corner I just love AC outlet that you do you know what is Holiday Inn Express I said it went in some weird part of the country is Albania close it was it was it was it was confusing no closet and if you turn anything on the TV or not
take a shower water came out of the TV and
Now power hog and the sign the sign above it an awesome Holiday Inn font set relaxed holiday in Talladega
in a world where there’s a lot of fish to fry the Radisson downtown Austin has more AC Outlets than you can shake a stick at and I ordered room service and I ordered a cheeseburger and the woman that answered the phone and said room service I said I’d like a cheeseburger she said go on I said I’d like a Stella Artois and she said excellent choice
wow I think she said I’ll be right up and I was like I’ll be right up weird weird pronoun this is supposed to learn your name cuz guess what figured out who she was because it has she open my Stella she went let looks good
hello my name is Cindy and I’m an alcoholic and I thought you told me it was an excellent choice. Do you want my Stella, and she said
I feel fine line but I think she’s going to be so she ate all of your food and then she left a few minutes yo whatever you want at the Doug Benson rap
Doug Benson rack is going to wrap tell you crap when Doug Benson raps you going to tell all your friends you heard of Doug Benson rap Harmon ramps
free rap but if I can rap about this lap that’s a Victory lap where I go around I’m going to
rap is rap I’m going to wrap it up and give it to you as a gift that Ben to I’m here to listen I’m going to lift him to start them lift him up so I’m going to lift Doug Benson like a girl your the Calvin Calvin Doug Doug Doug why is it rapping he’s not even Clapton you have the clap what is the class why am I wrapping to do this week you guys would like next to me who could do a better that didn’t rhyme this is a good example of why you shouldn’t have said my name it’s cool it doesn’t matter I’m still the only black guys on base Rapids
Batman rap better and it’s also the only one Daddy it’s warm out you know it you dressed up to show it
okay well you proved him wrong you proved him wrong
yeah, that’s all I got
Yo left to right I’m going to fuck your mama like catch a fux mustard tonight I’m going to take it to the break at John I’m going to I’m going to run this with nothing but the front lawn I’m going to John
Monday Morning Quarterback
set your time to harvest Elementary
Calvin
Spencer Crittenden
on Jeff Davis account telling your marriage Dan Harmon thank you so much
play it’s not my time I will see you tomorrow