Episode: 44 – Dudes and Goo (DC Pierson, Kumail Nanjiani)


Episode: 44 – Dudes and Goo (DC Pierson, Kumail Nanjiani)


After a few false starts, it turns out Mayor Harmon may be suffering from a show-threatening case of homecoming confidence, but when special guests D.C Pierson and Kumail Nanjiani join, the meeting erupts into an awesome discussion of drugs, religion, Spencer, Hannibal Lechter and octopus sex. In D&D: Sharpie and Mulraine seal the deal.


oh it’s so nice to be back at the Meltdown Comics in Hollywood California our cozy little nest in our loyal High.
we’ve been all over the country and I’m not sure what we learned but I do know that it’s very nice to be sitting here again with you people
Hermantown is finally back in session in Hollywood California
put your hands together
yeah yeah
I may be wrapped out I don’t know
I’m a rap Master that’s why I’m wrapped out cuz I perfected the art not because it was obnoxious and tiresome it is really really oddly comfortable to be back as soon as it’s really weird we tried to take me to do this shot where I would walk down the sidewalk outside nerd walk through the door into an empty comic book store just keep walking and that it would be perfectly time with Jeff bringing me up so they would it would be like I don’t know if you thought it up I have no idea it’s fucked up like I got to go back outside
just just yell at me now this is fucking bullshit
welcome home
Hollywood California
Hermantown is once again assassin
Jack Johnson
wow where were you we missed you I was in The Green Room you left for a while I went and stood outside of 7-Eleven you climb up on top of the fire escape instead of like Batman for a while
Easter by first and talk about the darkness of the city and I just hope to God that you’re starting to show at that particular time how could you possibly have any idea that I’m starting to show. Just hoping that you hear that you hear that that that the frequency of audience Joy the truth is Jeff there a parallel universe is where you’re in the middle of introducing the show and I just walk up and tell you to fuck off like I said I just interrupt you it’s so we just got lucky once again has a show that is not written there for it is written by God
and he doesn’t make mistakes
you don’t punch him up and words
his his his his draft his final man that’s all you got to do is do nothing at all and you are doing the work of a master really serious about that and told you the good news soon
I am feeling very spiritual lately how’s it going on the tour and also it’s like like like I was a bad friend lately and he is amazing with you
and every Lutheran bone in my body every superstitious fiber of my being make me want to knock on every piece of wood in the room and say I pleased Universe this isn’t how it sounds but in all seriousness is there’s no other way to express this like he makes testicular cancer sounds fun
like he is going to hit he’s so fucking cool no problem almost want to get it I’m listening to him cuz he’s so fucking like like like School very beautiful like heroic funny face on it but still like radiations a giant but you wouldn’t last a minute but he doesn’t he doesn’t deny any of that stuff though he doesn’t say it’s not a bummer he’s not he’s very emphatic about you know I’m bracing also the pain of life and acknowledging it for pain that’s so I can come up on a God damn it I want to make love to him but let’s do this podcast is great he’s he’s a he’s a he’s a sister of harmontown sister podcast
I’m going to get a drink what do you want to talk about Jeff I want to talk about and actually do have some questions because we came back and we did this to her and there was an unanswered question that really I mean if you answered it one-on-one with the with the filmmakers I wasn’t there to seem to be the Eternal question of what the point of it all was that you said that I do return you came back to LA at the big Gyptian theater show that you learned nothing because I still hadn’t but I realized tonight in the green room I actually finally figured it out like it’s the dumbest thing in the world cuz it’s right under your nose and assertive so generic the entire time we were out there we’re doing these shows we were doing performances shows can be good or bad show a performances are are are there was a bad show all the shows not going so good
another and so you’re thinking about it as a performance beforehand it no matter how much you try to not think about it you know an end and not in that pre write anything and stuff is coming to town and and and went to Portland
I don’t know why were Southern when we do the show we kept saying both in our hearts and our brains and out loud with her mouth we kept saying at some point we’re going to go back home now when we say home we don’t mean me and my underwear watching the you know die hard to like like we mean like this so if this is home then this isn’t the show anymore and so the transformative thing is probably for the audience is the lack of benefit
is it I don’t give a shit anymore at like like like like
Patton Oswalt was right like I text you back like I was in the green and I was like the thought of it is a show did not hit a show now please but that is my friend still green it’s better when you just like my favorite show is Salt Lake City where there was 62 people and we brought him warm and check up on stage with ya though cuz I get it felt like this I was the closest we had to to melt down with the small little comedy club with iron girders here and there is a small little room but you didn’t need another person in there and it really wasn’t the most communicative and together and I like the show here because it’s becoming a little Revival tents and then we start meeting people and like we connect with that night’s audience is cool to go to Salt Lake City where does eating though you don’t have any expectations are going to hit Salt Lake baby at the City of Lights
you’re you’re you’re not Wayne Brady you’re not going to get up there and sing a big song and do a tap dance in the
then it’s time you fucking her own the fact that you’re never going to be Wayne Brady meant for those of you listening my expression is deeply and sincerely hurt
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss go in a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, no limit is that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and blackston amount each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so it’s always a little t and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker at myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
let’s find out if you are why should I do an impression of the Klumps
send a text
Wayne Brady hanging out going to hang out with the why you hanging out with him because
Wayne Brady eat some gravy
put it on my potato I don’t hate hoes
and I love singing in different styles
what accidents
I’m not really familiar with this work
it was worth a try at time of the Chappelle thing is awesome let’s get it let’s get to the goods man let’s get to the confessional good dig some shit out of me Jeff that’s the thing that I’m going to Portland Portland has a tall building a weather phenomenon called Small Talk Small Talk Jeff Small Talk couldn’t wait to get back here and get deep talk to me about my but my dick and stuff but why couldn’t why couldn’t you get deeper those people at Portland’s mistake I’m just saying going out there that’s what happened to me I was like oh hi Portland thanks for having me any Town Portland Portland OR Austin could would you like a mint
Boston trivia Factor the cowboy hat was invented here it’s like
real real real Fifty Shades of Grey Partners these are the safety pin nipples Elizabeth hot wax people listing for you because you do this show you go I would talk about my hemorrhoid I’m talk about fucking your mama and I fucking like I got it I dare you to not like me and then after the show everybody comes up and I want you to sign the thing inside and sign your image of signed your book or do this and you find out possibly a very dangerous thing for you the idea that that that you can’t do something wrong right
you started it you started the kind of Hulk out a couple times like like black shirts with pins in his books and is it the giant narcissist jacuzzi that you just you just have the upper hand in fights with my girlfriend
population Me Maybe that’s as much as you fight when I’m not with you all the time I’ve never been with you almost all the time the kind of day and night we were around each other quite a bit but you guys wow we like to go at it
on stage sometimes my tempestuous fiery Irish music
the ladies the ladies lymphatx
guys are like he was right in the middle of a crying about a bit that you have been doing about sucking a young girl that was totally a bit and then she announced that you called her the c word and then Michelle came to Justice Just to add event at the end of that she said so can I move in with you how I thought that was yeah that made me not ask her to move in with me for like two extra weeks but then you and you end of the Tour by asking her to move in with you I can’t say yes what we were thinking the same thing at the same time we’re in love with each other deal with it
we’re soulmates
Angie of your great you’re very cool you’re in your suit you know when you give this gift this gift as armor against the world you know you’re the emotionless mask even-keel guy I know is that he likes is fernet-branca and he’s he likes to watch The History Channel and it is every every every every every city we went to he went to a bookstore and bought him a skier book and then went to a went to a bar in Reddit
I I just I don’t know you’re not allowed you’re not allowed to hate all of you of your dimanno speaking of which I haven’t jerk off in like 3 days we talked about jerking off and how do you connect that. We’re talking about how awesome I am a master of master of my domain is a Seinfeld like line in reference to the episode where they all try to not jerk off and do with it what they call on Reddit nofap
doorstop is a bummer. Bummer the worst like I was introduced to that word when we first started doing community there was an interview with Allison Breanna it in the onion or something and then there was a comment section of their there was like a comment that said like fat fat fat fat fat fat and I was like what is that
and maybe just maybe in your Hawaiian shirt in your surgical gloves in your sister I can I can I can
what did you just reveal about yourself with that I’ve seen the movie what was it called hardwired or whatever wow for me. Don’t make me part of your world and sexuality don’t ask questions
we get we found our constitution we did it
I took a whole tour to figure that out the quick I want to talk about something real okay do you want the Grammys
I didn’t but I really feel like
I don’t know I wanted the Barbara Walters Walters you tonight but we have guests we want to bring up but then it’s not like I’m not going I’m not going cuz I don’t even know what the Angela I really feel that there was an opportunity now that you’re going to go out there and not that you’re Walt Whitman and you’re going to go find out where you live and what you live for and shed but if you would come back with the disc that’s why are this is what’s important to me this is what harmontown is this is what we learned little details and stuff like that but I feel like there was this really is a reason you did it there was there was there was some reason you stood after every show and met those people there is something driving you to do that in the first place that was more than it was a birthday present to myself I think there really isn’t a subconscious desire and drive there that I don’t know that you even know what it is no I don’t Jeff I don’t are you being serious about connecting with people I was looking forward to getting back here cuz this is the place where people
listen to the podcast so they know that if Maddie here in the front row whose name I know because you can see everybody the audience and you can hear everybody in the audience if she pipes up about is if she goes like that reminds me of pants that I got to I’m sorry what the fuck are you talking about Manny what are you why did you say that it reminds you of pants and then she’ll say like
well okay very good do you want to come up here and talk about your fucking Christmas pants Maddie when I asked him is I wonder if anybody how many of you might like just like asking for a Round of Applause by how many of you listen to all of them I’d all the podcast all right one of these people would have a better overall perspective on what that actually was if it was anything at all if it succeeded at anything or hear Adam Goldberg to storm the stage I certainly am not certain Matt Matty did you listen to all my shows all right like to come up and give us a little report
hello Maddie coming up on stage
your mother lets going at your mother’s not here she’s all grown up
Maddie Maddie is a young child that used to come to the show with her mother and is now it now you’re in college everything’s cool alright I feel less guilty now I say in front of you
alright so what’s your what’s your take on the what it what it what does at or anything say it faster and in this one and end every day for that I am God
I think I really think that you’re in a dangerous psychological place right now or or whatever the opposite of dangerous is
doesn’t feel safe so I guess it’s probably dangerous
I think you’re closer to being more than John McClane now you know you know you know who else was in the dangerous psychological place
because he was nothing at the beginning of everything and the end and it bumped him out so much had to explode into some things
how do you get credit Universal kids
well you definitely exceeded in becoming God in your own mind I think I think the more and more you met people in the more people were in the audience you took. God roll and I doing
okay I’m sorry I’m sorry I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to terrify you I was I thought
are you at
I hate you tell you actually. It’s okay I’m not God yet
but then when you found out that he was putting up a Vine and I got GIF of you doing something to Costco, okay fine buddy that was not you know a note 5 has scraping at the altar dangerous dangerous territory did you learn anything about Dan or about harmontown throughout that Journey
I was just kind of a linear waste of time
play self in past podcast pass
past life
look like anything he said on toward didn’t really surprise me like he could have been talking about butts and Cox and Dixon
I need a rental car rates for half an hour and like wanted every from the audience to kill themselves cuz I felt bad but I wasn’t surprised that I would have been surprised that there was a real highlight or really low light in the oven and it shows that the kind of surprise you
person who has like a needles memory here like I’m digging right now to remember things and not going well
I talked about cookies then
jealous of young people cuz I thought you remembered everything
like it’s a present
oh my God I don’t remember things
thank you for your kind of a pain in the ass though Vice
what were the shows not about the show there’s no show the show the show it’s as if there’s no was it that she was about you maybe it’s even think that there was supposed to be a purpose for I let that Dairy that you should learn to get such a story structure freaking we kept drawing these things like that but then we return home do you feel that you create like it that you actually describe the full circle story Webb’s now cuz I I feel like that harmontown at the tour is if there’s a story structure element to that that this will be the first quarter or the first half of a larger story with your back home and do your safety net and a terrible should have been a really awesome happen if I got to get to reboot the show now we get to decide what it’s what it’s going to be about you know what do you want
put these people brain to merge with their brains I want to feel what they feel for real okay I feel like there’s someone in the audience tonight that’s recently written a book that will be released that needs to be plugged
he was an amazing Entertainer he’s part of Donald Glover’s little little YouTube Troop
Derrick Comedy he’s an old friend he looks like Jesus more and more everyday please I feel I feel his pain I feel his brain welcome DC Pierson
text Dan how’s it going it’s going good I mean I don’t know you tell me it feels like I was saying backstage like a really good cuz I feel like we were out in the road now I’m not worried at all like Patton Oswalt prediction was true I’m not worried about you in the show here anymore and I think that could be a bad thing I was thinking the Green Room not right now I’m flirting with the idea that it’s a bad thing didn’t learn anything you know that is it doesn’t become boring but I do not dream by the anxiety than being a good or bad show sitting here exactly would that you’re the reason the movie’s over right you know what I mean like we thought we just stick around after the credits and then he’s still just like yep still happy you know maybe you join the Avengers Stan is there an Avengers 4 like just just just just just people with houses that like to take bubble baths
if there is we can go and buy it at this, it’s called crap Kingdom I like our Beastie Boys actually out I’m trying to get people to pre-order it so badly do I want them to pre-order it that if you preorder it what you can do on Amazon you can do it Powell’s Books all these different places that sell books online and you send me the receipt crap Kingdom at gmail.com I will write your name into a custom rap song and or Crap song interested in it and it has so many it’s it’s filled with pages and what was your favorite part of the book
stuff like like like other separate pages but they’re all of our together on that I was like
the elevator pitch is that it’s a guy who’s been whose back into to be the savior of a fantasy world, young adult novel and it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s about a guy who gets back into a fantasy world to be a savior and it’s the kind of the world of the worlds kind of crappy and he doesn’t he doesn’t he doesn’t take him up on it doesn’t want to be part of the Trinity yes that’s awesome thank you I think every I think novelist should write novels okay but people given the gift haven’t already written a novel you’re not a novelist so don’t continue doing so for writing prose in for writing
my new novel is called Sushi Rider books used to be a pistol are there letters in their letters back of his trees with the idea of telling a story about a thing that happened to a person that was that was a very novel was a lot like was it just like her that would not Fifty Shades of Grey what’s it called the guy that was on Oprah Stephen Frey or whatever what’s a novelist how do you like it’s just a lie but we can say amazing amazing if you want
they do talk a lot don’t they then yeah I really honestly if you go to any of these fuckers it’s like a whole show what’s your name Sean do you have it on my account and it or put it in his face like a like a journalist like what’s your name my name is Kona. It’s like a reported that like the person like you know Robinson Crusoe sent in his journals and he’s on the phone just you know passing it off as actual actual history and what’s your name
how old is the old people when were you born what year 1989 that’s crazy I was going like I’m afraid to tell my friends I’m not into this Batman movie as much as they are
I wouldn’t get that tattoo if I were you they’ll probably change the logo
if if I find them I’m going to change that logo it looks like my mom looked at that Batman logo from the temperate movie and she said is that teeth it looks like yellow if you look at the Yellow Part 2 looks like Teeth diarrhea like a little teeth monsters going to get you look at that guy said in 1989 but when you said 19 it sounded like it was going to be a much older year you know 1993-94 was new with it old man yeah yeah yeah
everybody else all at the same time what’s your name
reasons how can everyone be named Zach
with one voice electrocuting prisoners down there every once in awhile I’ll give you were doing the show that they didn’t get the part in another dad
I’m just waiting for that call for mr. home and I know it’s going to come through
I learned from my voice you can tell my last tape his own Island
I was trying to soften up and race is not bad
I’m part of a demographic often sentenced to death but Bless My Lucky Charms
call each other leprechaun
God I was friends with a kid named Sean mullarkey in grade school
call Jeremy Jack and Jeremy dick I told the story of his mom’s name is I am probably not probably not right so so that I ran into him when I was in grade school with him I told this story right
the kitchen was like smoking a joint with hematite like this kid that I knew and grades go live with his roommate Jeremy dick you know his dad’s name is Harry and his mom’s name is imma and I was like that’s not astronomically possible they think that’s not that doesn’t happen you don’t you don’t you not hairy dick and you meet a woman and she’s other names I am and you like let’s get married cuz it doesn’t happen in Eddie read my script and then I ran into him and I was I’m standing in the kitchen I’m probably like like I don’t know 18 19 years. Let’s say twenty one cuz I have a joint in my hand so that I don’t want to get I don’t know if you can get sued or whatever but

is kid from from he’s a grown man now and I are passing a joint and I go hey man I always wanted to ask you what was your dad’s name really hairy and he said yeah yeah and I and I said now okay but your mom’s name was on I am at was it and it was Danny said my mom’s dead man so therefore she didn’t have a name is hey man is it legal to smoke weed when your 21
have you been spreading that yeah I don’t know
I don’t know what egg cells are trying to walk on over there later than 18 is I say don’t do as I do that I say that I do
you see you say do drugs though I say I did a lot of them and then I have a huge house if you connect those dots you you that’s your mistake that you’ve made imagine how big his house could be yeah
exactly Jesus and God in the same thing
I’m great I’m so sorry I completely ignored you will everyone murdered you yeah it’s cool man I wanted to know Breakfast Club better in that moment so I can launch it’s like the smoke up Johnny monologue.
Sorry I set you up for that he’s showing a hole in his palm instead of
Supper Club
it was great just killed it I do and it’s because I stopped being about me because I became God has never stopped being about you for a second I achieved apotheosis I stopped caring about the show the mistake we made it very tippy-top of the show is focusing on me cuz I have nothing left to like bring up CeCe Pearson oh nice now you’re killing it you’re doing a little Rippy bits
we dropping bombs from home this is the show Jeff
you will lay down the mantle of being Dan Harmon I know he that was his very impressive that would be that would be
I think I think Spencer should have his own podcast recent is red flannel shirt like talks to talk to friends and talk about what’s going on and he’s much smarter and and much younger and has much more to offer
dispensary last night and I got back but I like charged up by that to her like a little smile I like seeing them happy he’s kind of like a little more energized glacial lakes Spencer is a glacier he’s like a force of nature if he disagrees with you then there’s a river there where the disagreement happened like you can’t really argue with it cuz he doesn’t just agreeing with logic Ty Dolla Sign the new fuck
but but but but just like yeah there’s a buoyancy that I’ll take credit for I think I changed Spencer as a God boy
but if you’re really turning into a villain and I don’t I don’t share with your picture on it
play call the great Billy
Luther’s line of blue 30 shirt with Hannibal Lecter at it
visit my CafePress calories
Hannibal Lecter in the first season of Jodie Foster has the icon with the actual mass
yeah yeah because he’s a big villains that we made a prequel to this God damn character this beloved guy that eats people
who’s famous for the famous images of humor and in the movie they walk you down the road of why you could be a good person and sexy and decide to start eating people and on top of it all he also like where is like a weird precursor to the mask of the movie doesn’t make sense at all like the Japanese call this a cuckoo boo boo and I want to wear that they’re like all right how do I get to eat a lot of people it is bad to the point worth watching prequels aren’t like how this person actually got to become who they are sick remember this
don’t even get remember that all you get is anticipate this right you make a prequel to like like like with breakfast club and just like you just watching people like like like you should I pierce my ear I think I will understand what am I watching I feel like if you were to watch any any great movie if you were to watch its prequel before you had seen the actual great movie that Mel other to be a freak when the first place everything in that prequel I don’t know if it doesn’t do that just completely licks the Donut of what ends up being good about these things like Prometheus was just a giant teacher links do not like an alien Prometheus it’s just I don’t care if somebody could fuck you in a little while
yeah I mean seriously yeah that is a weird thing like he’s he’s adorable he’s a Channel 101 the fan and fan like you can’t talk no amount of press releases is going to get you can’t give me instructions to go to move it don’t watch this wrong that you called it an Alien prequel you fuckers oh yeah and the fact that they’re like every remember every amazing cool I kind of thing from the first 10 minutes of alien you know how you’ve wondered for like 20 years what’s inside of that think the cool thing is that I don’t know what if it was inside of it was dudes
dudes in goo Plaza
not a good movie idea
now in these Indians are to rest in this burial ground never to have a Suburban home built on it either Craig D Nelson will someday live I say you have done a very good job holding the cemetery let’s go have a beer our work is done
all right home. Great to know that he was the hero in that movie I see so often the villain I forgot fuck you guys headed out it’s going to seem like I’m my God
also added another person race a my God cuz that makes me seem like not a guy just walking around La doing your normal business and you just have a awkward interaction with like a barista or something oh my God oh my God
I’m a guy that it up
alright well thank you Jesus is there anything else you want to save that crap kingdom.com if they want to buy the book please pre-order it and I’m trying to get on the New York Times bestseller list at the good book you’ll enjoy it and then I’ll write your name into a rap song how great would that be from here right now Maddy Maddy Maddy Maddy Maddy
Maddy Maddy Maddy Maddy just Davis doesn’t really know about that he’s he seems to think that Hannibal is Lex Luthor but this thing just to show is the fucking truth son and that’s why I rap and that’s why I rhyme and I did not have the right beat time at the beginning of this crap about Maddie she wants to talk about cookies I will do so gladly we can talk about Keebler’s talk about Entenmann do they make cookies I think they did ya
if you buy my book I will write the rap it is 10%
crab Kingdom
yeah yeah man it’s on autopilot I just bring green cool people up and I just let it rip how we doing on time buddy maybe somebody else in the Segway into playing D&D up one of my funniest friends in the world
with one of the most adorable accents who is often here lurking in the background but who has never been on stage here which is a crime Camille nanjiani everybody
oh yeah
how’s it going I feel like there’s a lot of pressure on my accent right now it’s pretty adorable
call the 15 years out of Pakistan feel fancy like a movie where it’s like a kid version of something like those the movie I saw the preview it was about British like know what it was in this one scene where the mom is like
John Lennon has Robin that’s his real name it with all due respect to my retarded sister which means I can say retarded like that is so retarded
that whole movie was an unbelievable that movie was like watching a guy trying to tie a shoe with a stack of teacups on his head and he’s not good at it and I know nothing like like you just sitting there the whole time going well I could do that also is the end of the dream sequence when he’s actually in cuz Michael Caine they’re in the same Cafe that was in his dream that’s a real dream with Christian Bale at one point and it says I have a dream that one day I’ll be in a restaurant and you won’t be Batman any more and you’ll be eating an omelette and I’ll be having a fan at blanket and and you won’t even acknowledge me
not only pursue my fucking Confidant and guy that showed me up on top of all that already worth hanging out after we retired I will buy what you ignore why I want to see all the scenes where they just go to random cafe is that alright he’s not at this one let’s get going
had to go to hundreds of cafes dumb dream
fantasy Rihanna in Good Will Hunting so he was like he he he himself knows that some men just want to see the world burn he can’t drum up a better fantasy than hanging out of the cafe is a butler
he didn’t do it for me
the butler didn’t do it
ridiculous Alfred fan that Liana is like it really Alfred fans of Dark Knight Rises
a camel table and if they like it what’s your name
Rebecca really love it
would you when you thought it was dead that’s very brave or very brave of her to like a little more
one. You take this might
and of my life on dream so you thought I haven’t seen the film so I cannot wait either way I was too busy Reading literature
well that’s how Batman started like like like many many forms of literature of Batman The Dark Knight Rises
no I grappled with some things that I thought were deep
what was striving for True Freedom like true human freedom from tyranny weather for the villains were espousing at Steamboat why I really thought it was like
true Revolution hasn’t been really tried because every time humans have tried Revolution the people who are you know making Revolution become the dictators like this movie now
how seductive the idea of you know what’s Anarchy
well that is true that is absolutely true
thank you I don’t want that heroism to go unnoticed I mean that’s fucking rough man we’re trained in the Society of everybody if there’s like a what do you call it a Zeitgeist or a collective consensus that being admitted Bolivia groans and someone bothers to go I don’t know what was it like that that is what happened to all of us on the playground this is there like a collection of people who all got picked on the playground we were all in the business end of it there’s some really handsome and well-built guy in the back of the fuck you in town because the other for the fitness tips and
now you’re bullying me
that that that’s collateral damage I’m that you can stay here Tad but like like like like like nerds nerds are nerds to your if you’re welcome here but but anyways whatever you like I like I like Batman Rising
is there another good times honey I had to bring Spencer up to the stage so we haven’t president
yeah I didn’t really clarify that
the reason to mail is here is because to mail like like very passionately like like like like is it does is throw you under the bus in any weird reverse way of that lately Kumail is always liked hunting the back of the Phantom of nerd know you make it sound like I’ve been very desperate to come up here no no no no no no no no no no he’s a professional standard with a very funny act he doesn’t have to he doesn’t he doesn’t specifically you were very enamored when we started bringing Spencer up from the very get go you were like holyshit what is this what is this what I want I want I want to do this I’ve never played D&D and it’s like completely in my wheelhouse I just never played at I mean I feel like RPG video games. It’s not a compliment.
what are the drawing room like we encounter and you’re like I really want to kind of hang out with Spencer I really want to play that game I guess if the name is Spencer saying before he came to the first show that he came to I feel like I should be playing D&D with Dan Harmon and then came to a show and I said you don’t write the show God’s right nut that seems to this means you’re going to be great if God is right in the show and your God the show is being written by Me by you but like Off the Cuffs
Erica has made that noise weird noise I’m doing so good I’m kind of a babe
my id20 Spencer pin on my iHeart Spencer true you okay right now
see me after the show I’ll tell you why I have a bulleted list at the top is I make bulleted list
oh yeah it’s awesome it’s like cuz if I don’t have a list you know I’m just like I’m thinking of everything I’m like okay I need new shoes at some point but today I got to go to the bank and then a bit I have to do something and then there’s someone I want to talk to you but so if you have a list it’s not swirling around your head it’s just there for and then you can think that terrifies me when do you make the list but when you before you go to bed at night. Can you think of a thing write it down in a list of stuff you asked me to do you have to do an analog style you have to write it down okay alright but I mean like you have to think I have a pencil in my pocket with which to write down the god button being passed right now
yeah Spencer’s Jesus Son of God and Jeff is Ralph and I’m Muslim
I love I love my little paper notepad that it’s nice pic they just makes my brain remember at typing it in that so much of a cameo or something cuz we like us who said that are you
okay where you at we’re not an atheist
okay you read the Koran just to be like I’m the only difference is that he wants he dies he does not come back and he is not the Son of God but he is a prophet right which is like in Jesus Christ Superstar which is the best telling of that mess of the fucking world like it’s awesome like I don’t know I got to get fucking murdered and and be cool with it like that’s enough I don’t need to then see you at the grocery store the next day I don’t need magic tricks as is as simple as being human and being like cool with people being the shit out of you I thought I thought there were a lot of people that anyways I right are you still practicing because people will listen to it or not the most laid-back people
yeah chill out Muslims I know I don’t know it’s very hard for me to say anybody to say anything about Islam that isn’t completely agree with this lamb is a very difficult and very good Muslim perfect muzzles perfect message Joseph religion loses its function the minute it becomes opaque like it’s supposed to be like a stained glass window you can get as ornate as you want you could get you you framing because you’re you’re drying your drawing the audience’s attention to a thing that says there that they never notice otherwise so yes get festive get crazy get ceremonial get ritualistic make my butt but the moment it becomes opaque and blocks the thing the very thing that you’re supposed to be trying the attention to which is the non-corporeal things light that shines through it anyway
you’re making a religion out there trying to keep one foot out that’s the other it’s like the Hokey Pokey religion it’s important to to come straddle I think the line between the Bible being a newspaper and you know and nnn is science and it said that which is a fucking great religion cuz it’s a bunch of priests like joining hands and looking for the unknown but if you like the whole point is that there’s something that’s unknown
you kept you kept you kept talking about religion and politics and you kept getting didn’t you kept apologizing is because it’s you’re not really talking about yourself because the reason they’re called politics and religion is because you’re not actually expressing the way that you feel I know who I just saw firsthand the result of like like an individual being unable to lately it’s like latest political reasons this religious reasons why an individual can’t say I’d like a ham sandwich I’d like I think the weather is nice today this is how I feel about stealing this is how I feel about capital punishment for that same reason it’s kind of a you know when you get in your Pulpit deer like there’s a fine line between being honest and being dishonest play it is it when you start speaking for other people and like like like like that’s but I’m just
is it is it with a really smart guy like said about religion and he was super Catholic but super-smart which too many people think is a contradiction in terms and it doesn’t have to be like like like like like like really like religion like like like can actually be like a smart person’s tool to dealing with the cosmos not a political or but like still it is not it’s not it’s not the equivalent of like being at a party and going like this isn’t that is it you can do it doesn’t you don’t have to doesn’t have to be true to you for you and I to get along. It’s just an interesting thing to think about that that humankind made these religions like like our brains are capable of doing that. That is neither know something to take too seriously cuz we also make poop
and we learn to flush that the fuck down the toilet and that was a great day that that doubled our life span as a species we didn’t even look at shit but but but but it’s also something to not like totally disregard because when you look at your shit if there’s blood in it you know there’s a clue there just
still human being would make things and make sure that’s what makes us different from leopards I think 10 leopards alone that’s the only animal if you’re a leopard in your listening of coming after you stop the fucking goldbricking start making shit leopards playing yourself on a dab Ranch and waiting for a wounded gazelle your iPad the spirit and I think that’s one of the if I were to speak my mind I would say that suppression of the body as if it can be a big mistake and you can come out in very aggressive violent super cool thing I stop jerking off of my sex life of was Aaron has improved greatly having sex
if I didn’t have a girlfriend I wouldn’t bother to experiment with that jerking off let’s ridiculous if I didn’t have a girlfriend I would invent new ways to jerk up there’s an if you take a hammock and a and a rotisserie grill
another leopard he would he would learn he would have been to jerk off methods simply having sex and jerking off usually when you’re having sex do you jerk off to finish during the sex is jerking off know sometimes sometimes I like when you get into that thing like your brain gets into lady leave the room
I don’t know if you started by Joseph Campbell views on religion
and that same exact thought the same thought of you without the order yeah I like it I think that stuff belongs in the same conversation no I think so too I think so too and all about suppression of sex sexual drive and I truly yeah I mean we we live in a world like everything there’s six billion people in the world so now at this point if you started the lower your guard there’s a million predators that would immediately do shady shit same thing with legalizing drugs all the shit but that’s the problem of the momentum that we’ve had the truth is in a technical you know basis like the truth is I think we’ve learned this and we all know this we just can’t we just don’t know how to put it in practice but that that that the less in divisions like in the more self-policing you allow like
I want that like people or you just acknowledge that it’s a thing instead of just depressing and not even I mean I never I literally never got the sex talk I learned what sex was from watching a porno and being like this is very wrong and I had a fever for 3 days I really did and nobody does know sex education in Pakistan at all yeah we should leave. We talked about it over and over and over again in our society we thought it’s plain as day we talked about in History Class how prohibition like gave rise to an entire organized-crime Kingdom of a terrible alcohol make you blind if you drank it and you make something that’s how well that would make us blind
what is going on behind closed doors I mean I’ll represent the West do and say we get a lot of senators in a lot of airplanes dolls doing a lot of weird about it it’s it’s all of the bottom line is when the distance between what’s going on in your head and was coming out of your mouth like how shameful is it what are you think it would so fucking bad that if you see that it something bad would happen to you what is the bad thing that would happen to you would you not be allowed to be a senator maybe that means it’s a shity job maybe that means you shouldn’t be a fucking Senator like like like like like there’s so much shit to do out there a goddamn put a flower in it you can you can do that think all kinds of shit about octopi I don’t know if I’m listen to your parents tell you you’re supposed to be a senator
I want to fucking octopus so bad I want to feel all 8 Kendall just wrapping man I know I can’t make it right there but I just see him on TV and it just sucking my cock is hard as Gibraltar Ida I don’t want to make the laws for Louisiana are you sure it’s not royalty are you implying that he but he was in the stall he was hoping an octopus so it could be anything you want it to be
hahaha I was expecting an octopus a tough way to go man
yeah that’s my shyt inside that you don’t want to do it which section cups like all the suction cup and job like think about it a million blowjobs wrapped around your deck at the same time a million chops wrapped around your neck
that is very forward to it I couldn’t feel any tiny little crevice I think of that as long as it’s grilling around in there so if your ass hole is bigger than an octopus’s eyeball
you’re not being a great dad
open Spotify please
so what are you intending to do with this I think I know exactly what you’re looking for
somebody has got to be the fun police
barrier errands
does Aaron have a mic is there a mic for Erin Emily from the job
Emily Gardot Aaron multiple sleeves
6 extra sleeves
what do you think about constructing like a really hard beat mask
Camille’s wife was just telling me backstage you know Camille’s weirdly obsessed with octopus with octopi
is that a picture of my obsession is slightly different from the contact that we are to the Quran
I am obsessed there like a very Terrible Towel
directions to hyper smart and they can learn to open jars and Anvil of Collections and seasons and one scientist actually had the sock and you do it he had this octopus in his thing and he came and octopus was out of the aquarium and they can learn to make humans and what kind of dinosaur was just putting on a hat and going into Panama
know that he came in and he saw the octopus like just too flipping through a book which at that point you just fucking kill yourself seen the scientist flipping pages and so it was just there like oh hey I was just that is weird and there was a child with it with a mother and father and the child was probably I’d say two and a half three and there was a magazine in the kiddos running around and bothering everybody and found like a Newsweek and put it on his lap and started running its finger across it like an iPad yeah I couldn’t couldn’t Master magazine technology
giant branch which I am a huge fan of I am on our species side I think that we need to decide right or wrong with her God made a mistake making us this way that is super-intelligent monkeys who was a fucking gamble we’ve been in the planet crosshairs for it for so long as it’s like tough titties that we’re giving a little back you know when will what we were a hard species to keep alive because we’re talking huge like double zero bet on the roulette wheel of biological warfare like the idea of just letting this Cranium with a folded over grotesque giant plate of spaghetti that have sentience. And makes decisions and it’s a conscious of its own fucking death like meanwhile answer like that will stick with working and they’ll probably beat us like they don’t know they don’t have depression right thing or I feel bad or I feel great cuz I got fired today but it’s like the fuc
doesn’t care that much and yet it’s part of this gigantic fucking incredibly sophisticated organism called an ant colony that is the actual that’s the actual species is that the colony it or not is that Mike would like like the plumber it’s like like the little the little things you’re saying I just like all towards that but the octopus knows how to pretend to read a book
slowly he hands out his character sheets prematurely Jeff hits the Spencer theme not knowing his impression of Spencer he doesn’t know whether Spencer likes it or not he’s been doing it a lot Spencer fine to just fine before resuming his introduction
when we last met after almost spending an entire tour trapped within its flushing confines are our heroes it’s laying the mighty infini fish the party was flung out onto the ground of a Strange Land after pulling themselves up the party surveyed the landscape the surrounding plants and trees were tremendous emanating powerful and strange presence has the Violet sky was full of orange balls of light bouncing and bobbing in the sky like Blood Bubbles the infinite fish corpse lay in the strange Forest strewn about the fillatre’s composing its deathbed soon the party was accosted by a strange pair wielding axes who took the party to their Camp after a tense introduction just then I missed the fog rolled in addling the minds of all parties involved in causing them to act strangely for a time that was fucked up it was Virginia Woolf shift yeah I’ve been searching for a rare legendary artifact known as the sole of growth progenitor of all plant life and
energy in the Multiverse the mysterious entity was rumored to be on Twila the plane of angels Forest they fucked around for a while then in a fit of progress the Barbarian fled South in hopes of finding the soul of growth through sheer coincidence the weather the rest of the ragtag group trailing behind thank you Spencer

I want to ask it like a sideboard question about the inhabitants of the infinite fish that we had met and then learn to relate to and are they all dead will okay it like imagine an infinitely long fish right no problem if you were if you exploded out of it at Point a and they were really know you were farther along than they were they were spit out at some unknown Point acts if they survived so even if they did there would be no way of you guys really knowing you’re pretty far down the fish I was just like lost like like if we need them will find out that the the tail section crashed somewhere else you know last episode you probably would tell you know tried to look for him and maybe found them
I mean I’m just saying it dated what will you want to do happens Hey listen man those two guys they was so concerned with my make a mint I was like actual. Nothing happened to kill them and meet up with a really wild that don’t nobody know what was going on I wanted them to kill you but they didn’t want to
we only had one day also I met a horse Coco yep it’s a horse horse horse horse
I technically I just so much more to you than a horse. I was trying to leave this group and yeah and you know the team just kind of followed along cuz it seems like a cool idea if I said that it was in a blackout drunk what I really want to do is like route around and see if my concern is for the people that were in that fish and do it like we’re we’re covered in Mist around like I’m going to root around a little bit and see if I can find them like you guys are in the fish around the fish or just in general anywhere on this Forest we landed in a big pile of fish goo true like I’m looking I’m looking for more fish wreckage well we’ll Trot around the Outer Perimeter looking for people so you could go either east or west east along the side of the fish when you travel quite some way
you feel that the fish goes on for Infinity split on the side of the fish if there was anyone spat out it wasn’t here
hey you feel like it and take several days to actually go through the whole length of this fish can I ask a question why you guys looking for people who falling out of the fish they didn’t even they just lived in it looking for him he’s a compassionate soul
world is this all right I got it I don’t understand
so what way are you heading on the sharping are you you’re looking for people they didn’t well now I lost my friend is true of growth while I’m on my way South baby you head self the trees and get taller and thicker there doesn’t really seem to be a path but soon you come across a massive massive Thicket of trees that walls off any remaining progress the ground before you is littered with bones and bits of Flesh and pieces of metal and little scraps of things as well as happy in animals around me you detect traps about you best be careful okay nice 10 perfectly still good plan if you’re rustling in the brush someone makes it through the thick tangle of trees in Plainview he calls out watch out for those traps they’ll get you
that’s that’s the introduction for a kumuls character who wanders on the frame
fenit van if you want to change your name of this I just write random thing by Chris de Burgh nice Christopher
I I wrote Lady in Red
great song
what you wrote lady in red guy that you never know who sang like that song that’s great what are you doing in this thick forest surrounded by traps big song is really good and I was like
but you must you must have got all the royalties off that right. But you know what happened was inside having problems themed around my song never sent me royalty checks for that and I thought I could ride that theme forever so there’s a lady in pink which I’m sure you’ve never heard of be ever heard of dudes in goo
no I’ve been here a long time so what are you up to I wish I could afford traps
give me some money. I fell and it was my own ineptitude with financial it’s brutal
can I
I have a question about my spell detect thoughts am I able to use that to find friend’s leg you’d be able to focus so someone is behind a wall thinking like you’d be able to do it like it’s it’s not a huge rain storm all mines come to me or whatever he can Patriots you scoop him up into a horse I don’t think finding these people that were lived in the fishes and it doesn’t seem to be a narratively profitable for a picture what a great humanitarian you are more important
good I’m here to call do I have any ideas you think magic is dumb if I recall you have you have some science items that are made with Alchemy and what not but they’re not they’re not so much magical corpse in red
but I’m just a gnome Barbarian I’m I’m out for adventure and then enter for proof for profit but I really think you need to not keep going back to that same the same idea
but it’s like you know like like you weren’t the song right here with me just so you know it’s like like learn from Chubby Checker idea for a new song I want it’s about being in a color it’s going to be about liking meet someone and then it said Call Me Maybe you know
okay so that’ll be the song Call Me Maybe
that that that is just so supposed to change subject gratefully I’m looking for the soul of growth you know anything about that
do I do you want me to fill him in what what is that supposed to be on Twila that explain where I’m you see it’s it’s rumored to be able to create life and birth even you know planes and the Magical plants and all sorts of crazy shit like this whole Forest used to just be the sole of growth until it expanded so it’s pretty big deal around here
it’s a pretty big deal around here have you ever been there could you show me the way
yeah if I if I if I can you seem a little down on their luck I’ve got some I got a second. I’ll give you some nuts and I’ll give you some money
okay is forage for nuts do you have any like ham sandwiches and do I have any do I have any meeting my inventory you should have some like food stuffs apply him with food stuff and say if you show me the way I’ll I’ll feed you I’ll make sure that you that we may be collaborate on some songs together to get your career back on track oh my God
all right if I can create a plan I can certainly write as a new song to be a hit song but I just seen a bit because I’m friending you this money and food off the top I get 80% of your back end
Iowa it is what I mean you you are aware that it’s in that are not supposed to be in the shrine yeah leave me there conversing Alka riding on the back of his horse Coco her hair whipping into my face the horses rhythms gyrating my gyrations I asked you to
I asked her to stop the horse for a moment
it’s only been so long since you’ve turned into a woman
but we are in a different dimension I feel like the rules don’t apply
I want to make love to you
right now in the dirt will this horse watches
I heard through the wind that you’ve been abstaining from pleasuring yourself
for you and for my magic
it actually adds a appoint of damage to my Ray of Frost
as long as we can do it underneath Coco underneath your shave I make love to my Lorraine sadhana underneath her horse Coco it’s pretty sensual
200 is that good or bad
the jerks off at the end to finish himself
as is Commander the Quran
that’s how good I am.
Just a little bit of confetti falls from the heavens Taylor
I know that you are relationship with Quark is very close with us will this interfere
hello hello hello I figure it out he’ll adapt his relationship with me is is is is is is is you know one that doesn’t involve things going into each other completely believe that but I trust you
so you stop jerking off for 3 days and you fuck Aaron in DND
a very romantic man
under a horn
while that same horse was watching
all right because I have to assume that means it’s their turn I mean it’s not like cocoa and a head to the the soul explosion yard what was it called
cartoon cartoon Krishna Brook is jerking off next to a tree
call boy
try I’m going to smoke one of my smokes I got a new idea lady in white navigate to these traps I are used to detect the traffic like what’s up what’s the best way to navigate through the void it or I dismantle it somehow ahead of me will you doing now so let’s see how many there anything that would help I know I you are also Adept at finding trap so you could you could both you could both like sweep for Trent let’s discover like class or race or what what are you he’s a human world
do I know that Christopher I got to go out very little one with a bullet
human Thief with some like you got some items, like Batman presumably he does
yeah I know where the traps are right I have no use for gold I got gold records and see how many Gold Records really do you have
it was this song it’s a new gold record maybe even platinum all right all right okay where we’re going to the track as you blaze your Trail zohor soap roaches
your dad gonna die last for a while
let me just I put it in a plastic bag and I put it in my pocket
Tom Leykis is right there was a bad name is singer-songwriter through these traps he’s giving me food and gold I really want to get this guy’s career back online songs you know I’m like a sponge right now
hot cocoa and brown
Coco and Brian I think I think you’re going to get off the color thing I’ve been telling you this for like Falls or like all around you you know
I just get out of the area and I like sneak past all of it I know how to keep probably wrote a bunch of shity songs why don’t we just break into Tom Waits his house or something like that
your horse doesn’t know
I feel like now that we we made a new friend Chris de Burgh if I think I think now, but we’ve got you on board here now so you got to come back next week now
in the back we’re selling these t-shirts but that Dan is wearing this world anymore this is Paula Patton dating world we have t-shirts in the back I don’t know how how many times will sell them again this might be the last time they’re $15 or 2 for 25 other Weiser online and they’re more expensive but yeah I can buy a t-shirt that’s all they’ve got confetti on them
thank you Aaron
thank you Camille nanjiani thank you guys
thank you Erin mcgathy
Becky Spencer for the finding of the day of the octopus think about whether or not I was going to get show blah blah blah like we can be driven by anxiety yeah I’m not sure now that I’ve become a god like being which we are going to embrace
don’t tell me what to do. I’m not going to I’m not going to affect the visit of a guy who’s nervous as someone who’s become an impersonal Cosmic Force what I’m going to do is evolve into somebody who runs a real show and has an awesome Gaston talks about interesting stuff there’s a good question and I think we are the torque a pending with the songs he’s wraps these things that became kind of a you know we we we we did it we did it we did enough now how do you end the show now without that without that without that go to thing
two words Jeff
two words
if you want me to hit the music
and your day
you go to bed that’s what happens to you you you close your eyes God keeps the universe we go to the drawing-room we have a drink you know if I got to do a rap about about being God we’ll see how it goes goes or or or
god dammit they clip the rapping is so
amethyst for the last time does it disappear last one because we have the cameras here when we stop these are non-licensed music and hopefully the last time we have to use that same music I’ve been using to keep it online go back to using at Metallica riffs on top of the entire tour was trying to do well when it actually need to do this
the restaurant Hot August Night to me so good to be back
could you be back here
and a Hollywood my soul is flowing into yours what kind of beer do you like Coors
if it’s a different kind it’s okay
I love all of you
I love dudes and goo
I love hats and shoes
in harmontown and I learned in love all the people
probably not going to do anything with that puts people across the country of ours
rhyming presently I meant and connectors this person but for real though
what’s your name Martin
you look a little bit like Eric Wareheim
yeah you don’t have to come sit that was that was me getting in the way of us connecting
here’s what you look like a stupid
go to a person we were only pretending to be separate I don’t have to rhyme
I can just stand here and talk
Martin your human beings Martin Martin
I am an impersonal Force to try to come in and make you not connect with people to prove that connection is more difficult than it appears I’m beating in my meeting him right now I’m free to connect I’m free to connect
I’m so free to connect with the world around harmontown what’s your name then what’s the problem I’m having a fight with my sister is she older or younger or older
she has a little brother fucking job is to be kind of a junior parent fuck her what’s her name Sarah fucking grow up you got a little brother doesn’t matter he’s 40 years he’s your little brother
fucking Sarah get your shit together what’s your name Dan Dan Awesome what’s the problem
work you will what are you do I teach High School size if someone has two forgot states are fucking country is collapsing please just hang in there please God dammit
it’s insane that that’s worthy of Applause now that that that’s how people actually feel everyone is actually feeling that way hang in there alright what’s your name hey I know you you help with t-shirt hey Ryan thanks for helping with t-shirts thanks for letting me know house and he was in the documentary kind of help there with t-shirts and then the documentary crew left and I didn’t you you were expressed a lot of gratitude for being able to help Aaron with stuff and I need to get kind of emotional the documentary crew wasn’t there to pick it up and documentary crew is here
tell us tell us how much you love being at harmontown I hope I can make friends or someday I don’t know let’s go to the drawing-room afterwards I’ll buy you a drink for help of a t-shirt all right
Alright who’s having the best day of their life
what what what what you named David that happened about today at detail wise time I’ve ever actually been here and seen the show cuz my friends brought me cuz I’m having a great time with the reason you’re having a great time if you came to my show
you’re here because of me and everything that you feel and do is because my little guy like me something my name is Harmon this is harming her coming everybody
you are also God’s but thank you.


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