Episode
Episode: 60 – Us Of The Dangling Wee-Wee
Description
In which it asserted by Harmontown, that Fathers are important. Guest starring Spencer’s Dad.
Transcript
elevation at the Hollywood California the world-famous Meltdown Comics
if I can I straighten long
turn it down one more time
I want to watch season 4
I guess I already knew this but
apparently I’m quite a genius
not a fan of it was it was it didn’t it didn’t have any kind of like not my cup of tea about it because it’s this has been expressed a thousand times over it’s it’s not
it’s obviously not somebody doing what they do and trying really hard to make people happy it’s so it is very much like an impression unflattering one
what am I weird to think about the fork in the road before one of the situation a situation which is very very unique it it because if you like the weird thing that keeps eating at me is that there’s a system in place that winning because like I would have been
I would have had too much leverage too much power too much salary as would have a lot of riders coming into season 4 so they just flashed us replaced us with two guys didn’t know what they were getting into went to Comic-Con saw what was going on people dressed as Spacemen and bananas a shed and going holy shit I cut myself every night and watch community and they went for a walk and then I think you know they tried their best to and I think that is what I think that was the best idea I’ve heard about that the most admirable kind of impulse like let’s not let these people down if there’s anything else we do is not let these people down and go back I will watching that season like I have such an Impulse to just do like the show that they probably got hired to do leg like they they could have just done like a sitcom set of the Community College
people would have overtime people would have gotten like what what about paintball what the fuck what about the chicken fingers
and then 5 episodes later like regular people would have been like this a pleasant little I would have I would have just crawl under bridge and then pooped in a bucket like
guide big and it which is my worst nightmare that’s why I came to La is because that’s how I felt in high school is how I felt and you know it in May in my parents house I just fell you know my whole life is just me trying to get people to stop going to roast
trying to trick them into liking me is a Schlage lock will look Joel McHale saying something funny and surprises me
and I and II but the weird thing is like a writer’s fighting other writers is the fucking American dream in the eyes of Sony that is that is what they want they want creative people rewriting each other they want creative people replacing each other they want us interchangeable they want us they want to think about writing the way they think about the guy on assembly line 24 that puts the final screw in the fucking PlayStation like they want us to think about us all that way and I shouldn’t even say that because it’s an IT some fucking machine is not a single person that works at that corporation that isn’t also thought of like that by the fucking Skynet all of them even the people that douchebag that fucking idiot. Vice-president a fucking what’s it the head up his ass dickshit fucking buffets International lately
I can’t wait for him to get fired and then going to replace him with someone else some other fucking prep school for fat ass fucking dipshit is it saying that they accidentally you know in the Quest for 2 to recoup their investment they made a TV show that with a bunch of actors that make people really happy that we got 13 more episodes and it’s exactly like you. I like the idea that weed laced the opiates with just a little bit of activation a little bit of humanity and like like like what do you watch that show you maybe
go out and make a show of your own or something like that I was a stupid feel pretty confident in your ability to go in there and like you know slammed at this next season happened at my building to slam dunk anything cuz I got I’ll measure that we can slam dunking by my own standard so the baskets I was going to be one inch higher than then I can jump because I I I I have a complex about that I want to do the best I can but I think that like totally like your fans are going to be recognized that you were back there going to hit they’re going to hear that that tone again hopefully right and then and that would be and they’re going to Jess’s yet
but it won’t be in the form of a fucking Matrix spoof
that’s not what I ever should you should do the wires if you do wireless Booth right out of the bed
man I was watching those characters without me there as as not fucking cool man it was like flipping through Instagram is watching your girlfriend million
so where is that is like like like all the comments underneath it people going like season 3 kind of sucks out of you know this wouldn’t happen anyway
your girlfriend was with the new guy and Joanna and then like one of your friends is like thumbs up this like
trip dog alright voicemail I see probably know this Legend is Bill Murray doesn’t have like representation he just has this 1-800 number and a voicemail so I left a voicemail for him while I was watching season 4 I call I called him and left a left a voicemail what do you say I just said call me back I would like to talk to you as soon as possible about the possibility of of of you probably
I didn’t want to like I didn’t want to like try too hard or not or try to not try it too hard too hard like I die just as probably just sounded like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, this is that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes relate to my own life so there’s always a little TV in a flight that is an embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
I was just like today on a plane with Joe Joe Murray’s brother the youngest Murray and he was saying that bill has recently been a TV guests on something and before that it was silver spoon or Different Strokes like the food was the movie that Silver Spoons was based on
call Nick brother who Corporation
Adam Goldberg for the bread for the sociopathic win
he’s at he’s he’s Machiavelli and he doesn’t care
he got he contributed and I sneak out into the night and then we’ll all be like a show called Family Ties
but he’ll be till he should be up to his neck in puss
how can a giraffe’s neck in puss
so I left it yeah I left a voicemail for Bill Murray is there any say I don’t know
what happens next what percentage of Americans be back and we hang out and I don’t think I don’t think he’s a man. You know that’s he’s like this weird mysterious man but like I don’t know I mean ask the guys that made Zombieland I think they just called his number number and left a message I assume I don’t know like I think he just called you back and goes like hey it’s Bill I don’t know I know it’s not going to happen to me but it’s like I think it was a healthy exercise cuz I was watching late Jeff meets his father episode of course I always want to just father-to-be Bill Murray I kept putting off the meeting between Jeff and his father because I kept hoping that somehow fate would would allow for that to be the case I named him Jeff Winger is last name swinger after Bill Murray’s character and Stripes always thought that Jeff Winger his dad would be Bill Murray but but
something awesome about you know having all any all of his preconceived notions kind of ripped away from you I said it’s kind of excuse. It’s exciting, being held down and watching your family get raped at a beach
it’s liberating
it makes you focus on what’s important
did you call your dad today I just called my dad Aaron was calling her dad said nothing to do so.
I caught my dad my dad my dad one of the coolest things about him is the second coolest thing about him is that he knows how to do a quick surgical Father’s Day call like he’s he’s he’s he’s wanting to get off the phone as soon as I am don’t know no sooner no later Aaron’s dad will just hang up on our talk last night but her dad is like behavior that it is is similar to people in TV and movies the way they never say goodbye or hello they just like okay well I’ll see you then all the time are you going to ask her about it later all right my dad his father’s day I do want to talk so much sometimes when I’m talking to the microphone because like a hamster that knows which level gives them a tree
like I I know that I was I was I was my parents were 70s Hands-On parents and I know that that that that’s what it said it’s such a fucking button you can push that make people go that’s so cool your dad hit you once I think all of our parents were being a parent is a thankless job if you’re doing it right it’s thankless I think everybody in LA and everybody in our generation it probably is starting to realize that there’s an epidemic among generation axe of parents who try to be their kids best friend try to be perfect and we’re all seeing how those kids are turning out you know they click it seeing that you you would you a tone with the father is Joseph Campbell it’s a you become an impersonal Cosmic Force you make it the sun Sunny you make it rain like the kid is never really going to do anything but complain when it’s raining and do nothing when it’s when the sun is shining your best reward is that they grow up and do a human being like
the world and they’re not there yet we’re human beings how often do you in the midst of your awesomeness do you stop and go see my parents were born that you’re all about yourself in your like you’re on your own little adventure and your parents at Bastyr like you know you remember van things about that you know warm little cuddly memories or them like me to just hitting you with a belt but my dad I will say because I was like I’d never it’s not as it takes it takes too much longer and and and is to it is not it’s not as easy to say holy shit my dad was awesome like like like a very very specific ways your father if you’re lucky enough to have one like it is the first guy you meet he is your male role model that means that the way that he treats women is it’s not this is how you’re going to treat women but I just leave first instance of a man treating a woman somewhere that you witnessed and I think I
I owe all of my fights with Erin to a kind of like the fact that I I found a woman that that has a semi compatible understand how a man and a woman fight constantly and we we we enact these dramas and a lot of stuff but that’s if you go to enough therapy you can wipe that out you can recondition yourself as I’ve always said Hitler’s dad didn’t kill 12 million Jews and Hitler have a son he wouldn’t kill three million or not but it doesn’t work that way it’s it’s just you know anyone can be different from from from how they were however they were raised or who they were raised by
but the stuff that works like you because there’s no reason for you to overcome it that’s the stuff that really counted my I think of my dad’s like the coolest thing about him was he just use just a self-made man he and he just he and he never he wasn’t like Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack it wasn’t like it wasn’t like a fuck you Society like he was so lowborn my dad that he never even
got the Cockiness to
do it out of spite he only just like knew that no one would ever help you unless you help yourself and end every time I you know every every every piece of wisdom I ever got from him by watched him earn the money that we used by our food and it was all the way at all the messaging that went into my brain about what a man’s role is in this world and it is within his family was was very very strong positive messaging because my dad was a bootstrapper and and and and just like dyed-in-the-wool fuck rich people fuck kissing ass my dad said I’d I interviewed him for a sixth grade project as I get to view your dad and ask him 10 questions or something and I asked who it was it was a little sixth grade journalist and I interviewed him in the basement where you would hide and make stained glass and try to forget about how much his dad hit him and I
may I always wear this neck Hanes t-shirts with a Sharpie pen like Clips to the collar because he would he would he would take a Sharpie pen and like Market other place I know that I’m also famous for sticking a pain in my ass it’s really not related I don’t think but certainly in the hands of a Christopher Nolan like diagnosis starting to starting to come together yeah but my dad made while I sat there and try to fulfill the obligations of this Elementary School interview project and I said what’s your advice to young people in my dad said don’t kiss anyone’s ass don’t do it if if you stay they want you for the rest of your life everyone will always tell you pick your battles kiss a little bit of ass then you get to stop kissing ass later
it’s a lie they all just want their ass chest they think that if they tell you that they’re going to get to kiss less ass to it’s all garbage all bullshit you have to just do everything yourself spicy stuff for a sixth grade project in that regard he didn’t say it wasn’t like sugar coating and he’s like he’s talking to another little guy I think in a lot of ways my dad was you know like I can clearly see sometimes when I think about when I talk to his biological mom about his childhood I know you think about your dad as a child like that’s the atonement with the father when you realize that your dad was once a an animal out there trying to figure things out I remember talking to his mom about she told me the story about how my dad in the trailer park that grew up in he he he loved money because they didn’t have it
like you’d love it love it like Scrooge McDuck love that he loved it like a fucking like the like the the monkeys in 2001 the level of a monolisk he loved it you know you’d have like $6 and he keep them in a coffee can and he would iron them and wash them
and stack them up and count them in and he kept them in a coffee can and then and then had a special spot where he Buried buried them because he didn’t he wouldn’t keep them in the in the trailer where he lived because that was less safe than burying it like an animal because of the guys as Mom would bring home and eat and then at some point and probably saw him I think I told my dad the story of my dad was like no that was that fucking guy is Copycat wow but the story when I was in my twenties and was like holy shit my dad was like a little a little guy that coffee can of dollars that it got taken from him like he he was bullied he was Up Against All Odds by Dan survive the polio epidemic he walks with his one of his legs is is withered because he you know so many of his peers they got wiped out
epidemic in the 50s but he survived it but it cost him a bunch of muscle tissue in one of his legs with these Popeye forearms and big red mustache and he walks with a limp a little limp somehow I always made him more foreboding then if he walks like a regular guy
but that guy
curse you know I don’t live. I live with my dad and I like I like I remember I remember
being in my twenties and being back in Milwaukee for some reason and my
I took a tour with my dad of this facility here’s the thing about my dad my dad was the video duplication King of the Midwest he he started out mopping floors and film lab and Milwaukee and it was sort of like the Boogie Nights thing like like like there was this new thing called VHS that started happening on my dad told his boss like I think that VHS is going to probably make a lot of the stuff obsolete all of us like film duplication that we’re doing these slides that we’re making for people who have cooking instruction videos or whatever at like 6 and his boss was like whatever like Celluloid who who will ever defeat that for the transmission of information that might might make my dad so started his own company which meant that he took two VCRs and hook them together in my bedroom and duplicated a tape 10 times for one client
I needed like a how to make bread video duplicated or something that got enough money to buy two more VCRs and then it rented a small office space and had two racks of VCRs and swiss siphoning clients off of this company that used to work for it because they’re all going to go shit VHS this is where we’re going and mites oh my my my dad started that road that way and started his own business like I ended up having like 15 employees in a big building and making his own a VHS tapes in like a part of the building like like like really just like like like like pick that business to its peak sold it to his biggest competitor who is like the video king of America and then and then adjusted DVDs came along so there was a guy that work for my dad
who started his own business after my dad sold his he had a DVD duplication facility in Milwaukee and I walked around with my dad on this guy who was basically my age but he was this guy that work for my dad for years and the guy was showing him the the DVD duplication facility that he had created this little little little little ragamuffin kind of like six employee and kind of operation and my dad was looking around and got the whole tour and he went pretty good operation you got going here and the guy said I learned from the best and I fucking eyes involuntarily started squirting water and my heart like crying.
look what is leaking from there I called juice symbol of that weakness
Ming the merciless the guy that came home at 10 p.m. every night he was bothering people that it was it was easier to father in his basic it on like what do you do and nnn do you do it well and you didn’t cry because of that you were proud of your father you cry because you were a lucky another surrogate children like I said I just do this flood of a realization where does like like when you’re a kid in your dad goes to work and then your dad is your dad works that hard you you think of work is being a Beetlejuice boys outside the door where there sand worms and time doesn’t exist out there and in that moment I suddenly it was like a sitcom Epiphany was like oh no work was family worker was young man who looked up to him and who were he was able to connect with because they weren’t his sons and he was in there
they looked at him as an important man and and and then tried to impress him and regarded his favor as worthwhile at whereas he had a much more complicated and messy relationship with the guy that was generated from one of those loads and I like how are we ever going to have that that traditional father-son relationship when you know and then cut to him coming to La for the first time and it was back when Channel 101. Just gotten a pilot on VH1 and we’re all hanging out in a bar all these Channel 101 kids
like I I like my dad like why I walked him out to his car after he spent that time you met him at night a bar and it was like we were just celebrating the fact that we’re going to do a show that’s based on Channel 101 we’ve been doing this thing for no money forever and now we’re going to do a couple episodes of this thing on this basic cable show and so station and we went out to the car and I can’t remember Saturdays are pretty impressive got a lot of people in there and look up to you a lot and I was like yeah I will like I mean
that’s why I just you know I wanted to be you like like that that’s what I that’s all I understand a man to be and and unlike I just hugged them in like the
when you asked the question how is the phone call for Father’s Day was like it’s nothing is like have you eaten any deviled eggs lately yes I have a they’re good they’re so devil I got to go buy lately it’s not it’s not even like there’s like a well of emotion pushing against a damn it’s just like it’s never it’s that’s not the that’s not the channel through which my admiration for him my connection with him is ever going to exist that that that unconditional weird like blue alien love it where it’s just like all my dad took the Fishers throat show show me how to throw a ball my dad was crippled didn’t know how to throw a ball it was a nerd like me but it’s technical the
that there’s that there’s so much love there so much so much importance so much admiration is going through like channel on the circuit board they’re not his time to carry that signal you’re putting it you putting hugs to a fucking fiber optic the stuff is getting through there and then sometimes it’s 30 he also invented time travel on this I don’t know what color my eyes are I don’t know you know he was like a super day was 40 or 41 when you had me and so I’ve always known it was like he just looks like you know George Clooney add salt and pepper hair and he said he could throw he taught me how to throw a fucking curveball when you weren’t allowed to a little late cuz it was bad for your arm which is why my right arm is no range of movement like I can scratch the back of my head of my left arm and I
I didn’t do anything. Like I could throw up Wicked breaking balls of child we think they found out that throwing balls is bad for kids arms and they said you’re not allowed to throw curve balls because it’s a really unnatural movement on your shoulder and elbows and stuff inside like crazy like he could fix anything from Nebraska Nebraska two days ago 15 miles away from the Davis Farm where he was born in between two towns and like they really move during the Dust Bowl and he farmed beans and hops and whatever grew and he went to Oregon and came down to California and then what time is a teenager he had like hit a car and he went in the Korean War and then came back and he was like this really groovy California and guy but he can build and do anything he’s a like a fuck off artist you can draw or paint or sculpt anything with his hands he can do engineering of any sort of a horse nearby was winning and
giving birth I’ll be right back and he’s the guy that could do it he’s the guy that the captain of the navigator to cope at all had bad fish and a plane’s going down the the the fuselage of the plane would instinctively look at my dad have a bad stats are man and he’s 80 years old but he’s like you’re not going to jacket he’s going to swallow looking and we just having a conversation and women that were younger than me my age older than me is a kept crossing the casino to come up to him and say excuse me I’m sorry we have to tell you you’re the most Debonair man we’ve ever seen in a while ago and he’s the fucking best I’ve met are like for the podcast was because I thought I’d like lake lake was probably over simplified but just so you have a visual like I just had
Ben from Seinfeld
can I get some money out on the beach like she was she was just floating dead woman out there and I just remember that moment or by people’s look around like with what we going to do and then before I can even look back my dad is out there and he impose our rent and he’s giving her CPR she was dead it was like it was no helping it but it was just like my memory of my dad is like I could do anything you haven’t seen him that you would just instinctively turn around and various and my dad would look around and he would stick his tongue out
I told my dad like years ago like he’s a he’s a stoic he is he’s working class he’s a hard worker and he’s not a really emotional my mom is really emotional I’m I’m more her emotional am I I cry watching you talk about your dad right now I got to cry my dad is very still a tough ass ways just you know he keeps it in and I told him a card to say like how much I love him and I’m going to start crying and I weren’t you already and I’m stupid I’m so I called him up and told him how much I love him how much I walked up to him and he was like what
I like all I do is brag about you I listen to my friends stories and I was a booger eating turned monster
I didn’t have the word power
you were back then a booger eating turned my stereo now you’re a hero like if I grow up to be like half or a third of the man a third of the father if I’d a third of your work ethic I’d be the coolest person in the world like currently I got it in you if I could smash a third of the puss and then I went there and I had to take a stupid business call and I came back in and they were like best friends and my dad had a couple beers and story that was like the sexiest like getting laid story of all time I’ve never heard it before but I’ve never been out with the boys so it’s just going to be me and like that’s usually family stuff but he told this amazing story and you also know that that’s not the beginning of it like he clearly has a
I told my dad like we’re getting less Smasher he’s a he’s a he’s a professional yeah it’s really where the 7th world it’s like their lives out there in the way that like if you go to a restaurant here in the LA people don’t like what they’re doing is there got to be something else they’re not bigger than what they what they’re currently doing so nobody’s ever fucking pleased with themselves and that’s a good thing to be good at can be bad but Dad was born my grandma told me a story to my grandma’s a cool if she died like when she’s eighty-seven I think and the smartest funniest and just tough as fucking nail and never had a sniffle in her life until she was
do all that you just I’m just going to slowly fall asleep and die with a smile on my face and she was the coolest and she said she had beans and I got broke was it be like in high school and college in the money I would go there and she always had this big ass kettle of beans in the fridge in with the most delicious thing I’ve ever had in my life since I was a baby I loved it and it should always making for me and one day she’s looking at me like you really like those beans and I said I didn’t my favorite thing in the world is you guys
it’s so funny it’s like I feel so bad about that is that I did when I was with your father was a little boy we were you know we were like in the dust bowl and we were traveling just itinerant Farmers that’s all we had all you had was food that you could dry and put a little water on and make something out of it so she’s really good at making beans was just as we ate beans for breakfast lunch and dinner and your father loved them every meal he will come in and we sing a little song and you anyway
how big is a little jig in the kitchen and she was like cry because you like like you should be having meat like you should be eating something as you if there was ever a chicken if it was in August that was Thanksgiving because it was not going to be a chicken and so she’s like in she like my grandma was too old and too cool into way to stoic to start crying about that so yeah I feel like a bad mom I couldn’t believe your dad like beans that much and yeah I want I want to keep the touching Father’s Day theme going with it with a special guest in a minute but I also want to do a sarcastic wolf whistle
Father’s Day episode I think probably this audience being your demographic people are coming out of the Sunday night so, it would start to watch bad guy that got fired bubble up when you’re going to start getting melodramatic about you or your parents are assholes who complain about my family and people that’s your family that’s all you’ve got you my family because I’m allowed to walk away from you and I’m going to do that now because you just told me to love my family
yeah there were no Corruption of them knows the first class there’s a woman in front was up with a two-year-old child who’s going to have the ear popping thing of the child’s gonna be miserable and we all know that so no one’s going to be a bad kid and first class moving a crying kid no matter what the kid wasn’t the problem the mother was a piece of garbage and she was up and down and her ringing the flight staff and apologizing to everybody about her kid is like you’re an asshole you’re a bad mom they just played a cool and let this poor woman run around as I wanted to punch me and everybody was the worst if I remember flying as a kid I didn’t cry cuz I knew if I did I would be on the fucking Wing like you did
you’re not allowed to be an asshole kid back when spanking was like like legit
all right so we have a we have a son that we’ve adopted here in harmontown his name is Spencer he’s our dungeon master he’s a he’s a he’s a loser he’s our boy but you know he has a real father as well who is here tonight and I was hoping he could come up and we can have a little chat with him and E can you eat are you willing to come up
what does Spencer’s dad
grab death the father of our dungeon master Spencer Crittenden Andy Crittenden everybody
so you are you are the creator of the creator of of Worlds I did create him with a load and it just don’t qualify.
World’s grossest call back it’s so funny cuz like yeah I mean it’s not so funny this is certainly not new territory 222 tread but it’s like seriously we take it we shouldn’t take it seriously I diced I find I think that like what good it was first getting into Joseph Campbell and stuff like like this flying off of these pages to me was like oh we have lost the father-son access we have we have lost this this this power that because like if it if a father loves his son loves look at my father and son respect each other that that like a line of power like that you see in Star Wars and stuff even when the dad is a piece of shit
the it it’s so much more powerful than any system and then I think that I don’t I don’t believe in conspiracies I don’t think anybody’s ever deliberately done anything cuz I don’t think any human being a smart enough to do it I think systems are smarter doing what systems do I think systems are in the process of of completely like dissolving the father-son bond I think that they like like that we regard what’s the same as it was like 2 hours blew up but who are those guys with other bunch of guys are going for funny things in their head they believe in God. I’m going to go to Citibank in go to Toys R Us or just you ever played play cool like right where we land special that don’t have anything to do with a dollar changing hands like that this system that is driven by dollars Changing Hands is like jumping on it and corroding it to buy every prom night every every son you know
as a drunken fucking wrestling match with his dad on the kitchen floor because when he was 13 they didn’t go out in the woods and then get circumcised on a tree stump
your thoughts Spencer’s dad
just just a couple thoughts about his birth if I might add and he’ll probably kill me for this later but since you brought up circumcision
when when he was born
it was a really large baby and
he came out and this was my second child he came out with like a beard no a giant red testicles the size of your heart they were cited by heart literally there an adult human heart softball
the human heart is a standard unit of measure for the outside your son has three testicles testicles back and everything
yeah the other interesting thing about his birth was and so when you have another C-section they don’t want to cut as far because because of muscles and everything so they don’t cut as far as they did on the first C-section and he was bigger than our first son and so is a result he was actually looking around in the world before he was technically born his head was out of out of Diane’s body we got this great kind of Science Fiction alien baby shot kuato from Total Recall
and it’s just kind of looking around like do I really want to come out and I think as we know you know some 24 years later the answer is he probably wishes she had he seems like a guy who considers all of this barely tolerable Interruption. I cuz I I mean I know you you seem like a delightful guy Spencer is clearly a delightful guy but you’re his father and he’s your son too so it’s like like like what I mean in The Green Room in Spencer has that like he has that Spencer face or Spencer lack of face on who you’re sitting there in your in your sneakers in your ear delighted to be here in your your your your your
Dad’s here is it does is embarrassing you because I can get kids get embarrassed by their parents by default doesn’t matter how cool they are doesn’t matter lately and I just was my question I like like like what is what does it look like my question I would because in my wildest dreams I would have a if I were to have a son I would I would be so relieved that the doctors could show me some kind of chronological sonogram to go you’re going to have a Spencer you know he’s going to be he’s not he’s not going to be doing pull-ups for a living
he’s going to design dungeons he’s going to be very smart and fair and and and honest and have a high IQ in lake lake lake lake
I would be so much happier about that than if they said well Channing Tatum is going to come out and get oh he’ll be great people are going to love him in this movie and it’ll be great at football so that I get the vibe that you like but he’s your son so
is their frustration there do you want the hardest thing about Spencer’s is it’s hard to raise a child who’s twice as smart as you when he was like six or seven he told us what he wanted to do for his birthday party and then he proceeded to organize all the kids and they did like a he got this little Casio keyboard and they want to play a version of musical chairs and then so I said okay let’s start he was and he took it away from me and he’s like organizing the kid and doing all this stuff and and Nathan will sit over there
back of the check will be shaped like a skull candles emerging from its eye sockets
the power of my birth will be recognized
but it but if I had a twin sister sense of humor we were worried about that we were at the beach
he was in junior high and we were at the beach and he got on his mind he wanted to catch a single so this is a matter of somewhere so how do you catch a seagull well like any animal you set up some food so he told us what to do kind of half buried itself in sand and then put a towel over
and then we have like Cheetos lined up about ten feet away leading to right on top of his chest and and then he waited until he was very patient I would use a box at it sounds like he wanted to catch and terrify a signal
a dad and I want to tell you all of us humans there’s a reason we have these brows here because he caught the seagull with the towel and wrapped it around in the single went in all Spencer could see is like the seagulls throat coming out his eye and obviously this protected hit his eye from getting picked out at which point you realize as a parent this probably wasn’t the smartest
Alberto a Cutlass eagle and then then I don’t know why but he had some string and they tied it to his foot and then he kind of phloem around like a kite for the rest of the day
if I could see from Game of Thrones with a dragon and then you give him a crossbow for his 60th birthday and what happened to the Siegel we decided that somebody might come along at a certain point and find us after some people were kind of pointing their fingers at us all right you just let it go and headed yeah yeah still going to string attached to this day probably if you ask Spencer a question about anything it doesn’t matter if you’re asking about his relationship with his father or the economy or what we should do next week for D&D or how he’s feeling or what he had for lunch mean he’s he’s kind of got that he’s staring off into space and talking like this and I yeah yeah my dad’s here and I have you ever
did I just want to like is it a thankless job like I was describing earlier late like do you feel like I fuck you man like I’m your dad like like like like like like to be a fan of mine but it’s hard cuz he’s in that wheelhouse age you’re talking about where you see you start to see a transition and you know I’ve been trying to get Spencer to move on with his life for a while and it has just moved out yeah yeah like a month ago I’ve been trying for 3 years but he’s naked
he thinks it’s because I hate him and I’m and I’m like well to me the biggest value of college is that you’re getting out of the house and and and learning to live on your own and you know so and he never he didn’t go to college he decided not to because you know he was well it’s not all it’s cracked up to be think I need to do is go smoke two packs of cigarettes a day and do stand up and drink a lot like you just need to get the world spinning underneath you and looks like it’s going to land somewhere specific and it can’t be your parents house and it in my eat out who knows where it’s going to lead
protect me
that’s a good-looking crowd
so when did your balls okay I got to clear something up real quick
when I was looking around mid birth I wasn’t like I’m not so sure I want to come out here I was like Hey guys don’t freak out
rub my balls are
I’ve been watching him for 9 months
I’m smart enough to know balls don’t need to be this big
they went back to normal trust me there’s going to be this whole movement like show us your scrotal certificate I’m behind a table is there anything I need to get your already out
I’ve always had my suspicions Spencer is probably he’d roll balls that you just recently moved out of your place with your parents and now you’re at and Spencer was working on the back of the Apple Store now I’m bringing him in this doesn’t seem like a glorious upgrade going to be my personal assistant over at Community really I wanted to be like kind of an apprenticeship because you’re a creative guy and I think you have do you have writing aspirations and certainly have writing potential I think I kind of trust you like I always have a difficulty with Blake when you’re you have an assistant like like I was talking earlier about my dad’s trailer park to do
fucking dick late like like like like like. You don’t have a right like I can act really gets in the way of delegating rooms full of writers and having someone get you coffee and all the stuff you feel like you want to apologize every time you ask me to do something but that just makes it more uncharismatic and like often times you just doing more harm than good my point being yeah I mean you’re going to call me around now you’re going to sit in the writers room and sit there with your beard and then watch me work with the writers on community and because you came to harmontown Spencer with without telling anybody that you that you really feel like you should be playing D&D with Dan Harmon then that night he says anybody here dungeon master you do you come up or going to show we go on tour together and you’re you’re a huge part of our show now and now that goes like this
get him away from Andy here if you know he’s moved out to Hollywood’s but Annie was pushing that rock out the door for three years that’s going to be perfect yeah still processing it
I guess wait wait so you got a place on the 3 3 Doors Down from Paramount
bored or did you first see did you first see working on community like U-verse all playing D&D know it’s all just bullshit man it’s crazy it’s you know Jackson is a guy who I met through Dustin we all share similar birthday so we met at like a joint birthday party we had an accident in Hermantown all the time yeah and so he’s a cool guy and so we got to talking and we went to an arcade and played some video games I mean you know talking Standard stuff this is why the moon colonies going to work yeah it’s society’s going to be coincidences about spam and then he just one time he was like hey man you should come room here it’s really cheap and it was the first time I’d like seen any place I can move out to that was within my money I had just gotten the job at Apple not too long ago increasing my income but you know still finding a horrible place was eluding me
like the Colts that work they all start with an awesome guy like me saying hey it’s cool man I’m all right if you insist
and then you go and get a place like on the moon or in Maui or something and the downfall is always when the old fat guy at the top that that started it all starts it starts to go yeah you know and it’s like hey you know if you’re 16 and you’re a girl you know like a pillow at night are you going to are you going to answer what’s going on here to our moon Colony that I will not fuck your daughters or or you I am in love with Aaron and I will I will I will stick to the place that trips every cult leader up they do when they when they when they when they when they go like they just can’t avoid the Temptation they got like I and I can’t really parlay this and just mention some puss
and it’s just like it’s not worth it but it’s just everything else that guy The Source family please everyone watch
I’m not getting interesting
Erin just get out here Erin mcgathy
but but do please watch this documentary called The Source family and it’s amazing and passionate people I did not mean to imply that the documentary Wikileaks we steal Secrets is somehow like the full story I got I got like all these tweets that were like you do from people that I think are probably on the right side of justice and stuff who are like yeah that documentaries bulshit the documentary about something that you’re that you know like in 2 minutes 2 hours long you’re going to think it should have been 6 hours long and should have included this and that and that and that and that this is a two-hour documentary that like tries to objectively or is it likely concisely kind of like explain is like a fascinating story
I never set up man this is the final word on whether you should respect anything I think system stock I think Julian Assange seems like an awesome fucking guy I don’t I don’t know what it look like how fair that documentary is in terms of how many details that had to cut out in order to be 2 hours long but anyways it’s interesting to watch it for 2 hours at 2 to more recommendations watch The Source family documentary it’ll blow your fucking mind it’s about this cold that I’ve never heard of before it’s amazing study in the in the evolution of a cult which is not as really an evil thing like a college is like Colts are neither good nor bad they’re just as phenomenon that spring up and have it and and then also we went inside this tonight at the Arclight Movie behind a big mainstream successful, I was delighted by it go see it
I felt like I was 10 years old watching Ghostbusters again it was like I was really really funny if anyone goes and sees this is the end and thinks that it’s not worth your ticket price I will I will debate you online
because I’ve seen a lot of shity movies I’m 40 years old and we’re really jaded the last thing I’m going to enjoy as a movie about a bunch of famous Yahoo is playing themselves and say I thought it was delightful all right
it was clear the air was clear the air OK Google Evan I love you
all right
Mount Standing On Top of the stage Spencer is awkwardly goaded into showing a fiction for his paternal relative
and that I’d rather you got balls as big as your heart
what’s the show right
that’s that’s my tombstone
I assume you’re do your dad should play Kumail character Camille, yeah but I can’t make it tonight so this is a very special Father’s Day episode it really is I didn’t really I have a great podcast
and it’s just I don’t even work at it it’s just my voice and I know if you were to fire me Jeff I think we would supposed to be at the critics with goat something is missing
what the fuck
the outrage
retroactive out right I can’t talk about it it’s to uncharismatic I just have to sit on my totally justified outrage argument I looked at online well I think season 3 was so shity that is what he doesn’t see the part that it seems like you fucking kidding me mother fuc you in the fucking mother fuc fuc your mother with your father butt fuck you
but like fuck you man like like like like like like like like like you
that much that they’re that willing to debate the possibility that I wasn’t fuck you the key to the success of the podcast but cuz my wife and I have discussed this is really that your heart is as big as Spencer’s balls
all right
I just got the key to the city with almost certain lack of fear of contradiction that we have a title for a car
is it your heart is as big as Spencer’s balls
this is this is redundant but you should know it was crying or what you were talking about your dad stuff is it’s not a fake thing it’s it’s like when you watch a Lion King when you read Hamlet when you father some stuff just like gets you really because there is a power there I mean like like it’s almost done Fair because the reason the power is there is precisely because there’s not an actual visceral connection on the level of the actual people that are carrying the child squeezing it out at our own Peril and a and if that child should be female you know the bond between us of the dangling we we
is it when you when you are when you have a little wee wee and you use your little wee-wee to make another thing with a little wee wee
the dangling we we be your occult name
you know it’s leg because there is absolutely nothing that that that we we that that that that that male symbol you know any of the universal symbol for male and female to male one is like the circle with an arrow coming out of it I think it’s so potent because it it just it’s like men are just this cursed half of the species that have a life expectancy of you know what 20 years last ad and when we we lose our hair as we get older cuz we were riddled with this disease called testosterone we we we are we we don’t actively create with our bodies which life in the beginning before the development of sexual reproduction sells all cells where these asexually reproducing cells of like if you all life was in the same soup and life meant creating new life it meant it meant that you were
never more than one unit of life away from a thing that was actually you and some real way and and and then went when plants were developing and trying to figure out how they could develop faster sexual reproduction started happening what you carried into a biological what do you call it whatever it was amazing plant likely men drones like we’ve things to create sperm and we just shoot it wherever we can shoot it like wait wait wait I like walk the earth and like we disconnected from from God like we we we are and we and we fetishize that when we have big martyr complex about it so we build skyscrapers and missiles with his hate yourselves each other before I leave then you and I’m going to fuck more pussy than you and because we’re nothing
it’s it’s am not saying feel sorry for men I just like it’s amazing like how we met, is amazing
happy Mother’s Day
I love Camp Spencer’s dad
your son’s coming to work for me on Monday it’s going to be great
Neverland Ranch
all right there where are you called your dad right my dad my dad a Father’s Day Dad calls me when it’s Father’s Day or his birthday in the morning and leave the voicemail he left me a voicemail. Dan see you at like a bad father said connection to my dad so excited about you he wants you to be his son’s we called me asking me about you hanging up I mean it’s not cold it’s it’s like hey hey how’s it how’s it going I hope it’s going great, good good day my day was good I hung out with with a wife and I took a nap and not like
chaplain Alvin voicemail so anyways yes firm
he’s a pastor right yeah I realize we were drinking a whole lot yesterday as we had to cuz you’re watching a TV show
what season was it
fanfiction heart heart I’m so sorry I missed it do it that’s the flat fare like I fuck you
play Hearts with really intimate love affair
the dresser the fountain scene my heart love love heart. It was the size of regular babies balls
moving as balls is going to fire me from anything we were drinking we were talking about fathers and compared my father to Dan because he’s a pastor and he has his people who he has a flock you know that the whole thing that you’re not a flock you guys don’t worry about that it’s other people
just made it was my dad’s voicemail
wait where’s the speaker on the bottom Jesus Christ
a technical thing
so damn what were you guys doing later
it’s fine I just want to let you know your your boyfriend is a fat alcoholic piece of shit and he’s, he’s going to live to 48 the way he eats a reference to a Chevy Chase voicemail
hi Aaron this is Dad I just thought I’d give you a call I heard that Dan got the community back again so I just wanted to talk to you and get an update and see how y’all doing love you I’ll talk to you later bye-bye I mean that’s his father’s day is supposed to be the one calling him for Father’s Day yes Spencer’s dad looks like if there was a superhero called Dad you look like the dad is Dad ever regular son of someone was working at the nuclear facility it went up
image of a Kind face glasses and a button-up shirt fac you’d like to shot on yes I do like the garden actually although I’m getting too old for it now a backyard which was a two-to-one ratio Hill and and I spent like two years of my life making that into a kind of a sunset Garden and since then it’s gone to seed and everything but it was fun of the people who can’t have children are shrinking and do everything that he was a superhero and it’s a weird bit
Aaron Aaron I’m so I can we hear that message again cuz I was fascinated
maybe we can revisit that message all of his voicemail
because my dad now my dad just talked to me about Dan he doesn’t thought it was it which is fine but the father-son can act like it’s true that the golf cart like I left my dad but it’s different there is not the same is that the same thing and then it’s like you know Mother’s day is Mother’s Day would be more meaningful for Mother’s Day came first and Father’s Day I cuz I looked it up cuz I was talking to her our friend Lars from Denmark and his father’s day it’s there’s different dates in different countries if you go to the Wikipedia page is like a big long complicated list of like like dates but it was it was an American invention it was then just adopted I think throughout the globe but on different days because they probably I’m assuming that in Denmark if we say it has to be the third Sunday of every June they’re like well that’s
do it there you know I do have is the recording of you leaving a voicemail for Bill Murray 555 if you would pass out the the character sheets to Dan and he’ll pass us along let’s get this ship underway last time on harmontown D and D are heroes it just playing their shadows in a combat most deadly I’m the real plane in the burnt down ruins of the Connie Forest just then a brilliant Emerald energy was released as the soul of growth began soul of growing the Connie for its back to its former
Lori at the same time pork talking dagger exploded in the ensuing magical energy cloaked itself and branches and roots and began speaking claiming the entity created The Travelers and thinking and thank them for unwittingly releasing the Trap Spirit after arguing with the newly materialized force of nature the gang pick the new name for the Avatar Seasons to avoid confusion dubbing in Woody Woodgrove Rudy Woodgrove the third then your Dad’s here yeah I know the nature Spirit gave the heroes crazy awesome nature power before ushering them through a tree and outside of Yellow Cap Sharpies father’s home but would it be as they expected of Father’s Day reunions or would instead be a demon infested nightmare will find out next
god dammit
it’s going to be the best Father’s Day Ever just got out who should clean their room
I think you left on my character sheet
I forgot I forgot to mention that yeah yeah he he put your hair in deliveries but your characters hair deliveries but I thought that happened. Just do whatever he says at the foot of the of every woman’s bed ever at 5 a.m. as he fastens as belt I gave you Liberty spikes welcome to the wonderful world of kisses Adam
so you if you recall you got season Powers we didn’t know how to use them so so Rudy would wrote the third was like all I’ll teach you but we are powers I read here that I haven’t the armlet of winter that I can use to call up a sleet storm twice a day 10-foot radius enemies might fall down yeah so yeah
it’s shorthand also Final Fantasy 1 reference but yeah so or intensify hail sleet and snow and I mean there’s no peace of mind like having that thing cuz even before you use it twice a day you could just say to the enemy the way you the way you rack a pump-action shotgun down a lot of times that’s more powerful than actually having to use it after the other or them actually falling down 10 skill modifier and intimidate I bet I could combine those together damn these like a pro you know Jeff’s been playing a lot of D&D behind-the-scenes spring it can summon armor of thorny Vines twice a day
can command The Vines to stop protecting you and lash out to entangle fo after they stopped at Angela they come back that sounds pretty cool and I can calm and slash intensify clouds, showers are you saying that you’ve looked at clouds from both sides now I don’t know alright what was in place there was like Admiral dark stars had taken it over and some weird shit was going on back out into a field
to see if we could learn to use our armlets we became the Four Seasons yeah I’m there was the music that played in I was good was filled with Rudy Rudy Rudy Woodworth Rudy Wood growth 3rd and ending and some harmless that might make people fall down all right
I go back in towards that I can examine whether the photos that we were facing before okay so I meet you kind of crawl under that yellow canvas and you’re inside the interior it’s open top so the sun light is kind of shining down but your ear situated but I’m between two kind of empty cages during between the cages you can see the hordes of people that look like they’re in rags kind of tied to a large turbine kind of system so they’re they’re like moving around like cattle kind of being whipped by demons so the main foes you see are these three gone demons with the scraggly kind of tentatively like beards and their whipping these people and they seem kind of prominent and occasionally you see kind of lurking on guards of these slimy slug guys that look kind of like half half human monstrosity isn’t half slugs flesh flesh colored sliding sliding around on the ground and patrols all right meet your dad
where is here I mean this is where he wasn’t around to meet his father’s day shopping
I know it will
maybe I could use blood magic to locate my father like I did that one time yeah blood magic special abilities because I forced it was bad in front of it works in this world what do they what do they what do they do cut yourself and you you meditated on the ensuing blood
do the blood it drops to the floor and sinks into the ground but it kind of after sinking into the ground and kind of comes back out and Beads up and forms a kind of arrow that leads like kind of into the spin around this area
nice thank you happy Father’s Day
I told you the father-son bond is bigger than any system I go on with these guys that I explain Slow and Low to the ground along the direction of that arrow and I look back and I kind of Vietnam hand signal and I point out to the foes mr. We got three slug Masters
okay that happened Sarah approaching what are we inside or outside the work actually came through I’m assuming you guys did too but maybe you didn’t as long as it felt safe I went through I mean to you you came into this tent right I didn’t even have a daughter maybe one day a mother it’s not your out of place
no so you went you went into this tent you saw the demons and then you left and now you’re coming back
Old Spice
oh he just hung up with you fucking spot what’s happening probably demons the nearest job so your ear pretty close to like a small slithering patrol of the slug dudes you’re pretty far away from the nearest the big beard a demon there those guys are kind in the very center of the camp and you’re still pretty much on the periphery
I don’t get mad when I ask you this where are we your your in yellow can then y’all can fit inside the tent what are son is awesome especially like when he does little smile and laughter after he just dissed you but then he smiles to let you know he’s just getting on right now through his eyes by King
get the hell off of stage and stop embarrassing my bearded ass I couldn’t
not on Father’s Day couldn’t do it on Father’s Day
any other day Autumn which can make me invisible and I’m going straight for the big ass demon in the middle and I’m going to use my poison dagger to try and put him away
now can I ask would that be a sneak attack since I’m invisible like I guess I would have to beat that
Johnson’s ad snap
are there too late in the back little drink it and just die and let me ask you this side was it a sneak attack when I drove you to McDonalds to meet your friends you made me drop you off two blocks away
I’ve never got that right
turn your words are like a poisoned dagger sometimes you don’t realize how bad they can wound is enjoy doing together like it’s fishing or together or sometimes I might when he was home and he was watching Adventure Time I might sit down with them in enjoyed it very much
how do you let him in ambo
no
Paradise this is a source of pain I don’t know why all you are laughing
because it’s not us
oh my God but it wouldn’t give for a dad that would come to a show that I picked my dad asked me how is your how is your internet talk going on
you don’t want to listen certainly. Maybe maybe you guys should that you know model trains are you guys ever go out and backyard fire up the grill
I built him a dice tower once for one thing we did
I don’t know how to talk it out the only way you know Spencer
examining my personal feelings as well as past events. That’s that she is yeah but she follows me a beard to grow my mustache back but I just want to do that no more
Spencer’s dad sexuality agreed to build a robot with me and for the rest of my life there was this half-built robot and the basement metaphor
can I use like the fact that it will never be finished is the complete metaphor
all right Sandy is Chris de Burgh has just a sneak attack and visibly into the yellow Camp yeah that happened anyway so yeah you creep in unseen up on this up on this demon dude you know straight up and you roll your attack which I already rolled like five minutes ago and you strike as you do as you’ve done so many times
why am I here please let me out Please Release Me
dealing
24 damage
he really is Spencer’s dad
unfortunately demons are immune to poison
give him that so that happened before this is over I want you both to roll a hug check
save versus bonding
my dream would be for Spencer and Andy’s has switched places
1st and his dad to dungeon master work
I don’t get it this is stuff that I love your dad more than I loved anyone in my family
omelette of Summer I have a choir
fiery arrows
I fire a single good fiery Arrow at the enemy and adjectives for arrows
just just I should remind you if you if you read yourselves in the trappings of your fiery armor that grants your arrows flaming this that would give away your position either way I mean you can still do it but I should warn you I have a sack and some
oh that was that Zack made of asbestos thank you turkey Bell
Rockville these days School Rockville I’m just trying to go with new bill spell are you doing did you guys get rocks to people in the audience today
yeah
it’s been a thing
beef jerky Bell Canada spread some more rocks while this game happens there’s any jingle jangle of the ripples to a stream
it’s a it’s a kind of a dark brown coppery less at an affair with some nice cufflinks I really like that bill definitely an 8000 thread count shirt into the crowd with it with a giant Ziploc baggie full of stones
I don’t want to encourage big of a Township but what’s the deal with the stones with the story
I really wish there is there was someone here to rival Stone beef jerky Bill name like sand Andrew I need to send a bag of like I don’t know like model trains or if this is like a big show and tell
so that the show is not derailed and
my bedroll both flammable
just you going to even have launched an attack on demons with a sack and a sleeping bag we play a game and we’re trying to get 50 lb of copper out of a mine and Aaron pipes in and goes as she plays a older gentleman who has a bar that she she put forth the concept of taking the cheese but she hasn’t melting it so we can slide the copper out of the mine
not that crazy she was greasing the bottom of the sack I had to explain like carrying capacity to everyone and then everyone can carry all the copper it’s fine you meant Frankie
you’re like
you’re making it sound like I was yelled at you after everyone left for the cheese melt at
with his bag of hole. It’s the fact that 90% of the time that you put a beard on when you whenever is coming over at you put snacks out you put a little like you do everything like you host this party everyone come to replace the indeed but then you also throughout the night you’re like it seems like you’re barely focused on the game and that you’re not enjoying it and I I was saying to you that night was like cuz you I was saying like you seem like you’re not enjoying it like like I think if you sit in a chair and focus on the game it’s like a that’s that and you were like
I’m not yelling at you over the fucken cheese thing
I think I haven’t been the same way that you say that you have Asperger’s I have adult ADHD and I’m so serious fighting some kind of sexual euphemism station
boyfriend gets so complicated
what is it does ADHD stand for always Dan Harmon defying devoted devoted
there could be more focused during D&D Adventure drinking and season what happened then it it all because it’s hard it’s like they did then you then you come sit down and it’s like you need to get immersed in the game maybe
shut up shut up lady
yeah I know I know I know she makes you put on a plate of baby carrots she sharpens pencils cheat stranger to the sacrifices she’s making it but but but I want her I would give all that up for her to have a good time I want her to enjoy herself during the game because of the Chateau Marmont a do do a big bag of coke and play Dungeons & Dragons have people bring it to us and I got to let it let me die that way in the black and white autopsy photos of
who died in my fist
I realized that I was being too distracting to other people because I was distracted but it wasn’t happy but but but I I was at everything to me that it does not tell me that you don’t really enjoy playing the actual game the game is not tell me that you got your view particularly are invested in you I do have a good time I get distracted by hosting which I really enjoy I really like putting out snacks and I like I mean the stupidest snacks are out now I know but like I mean Edward has chip in your brain that gives you Joy when your taking care of people when I get to Strack to buy that and I get distracted by people being hungry distracted by things drunk and being like a puppy with a therapist
Rite Aid Durand India’s like to be fair and the first couple of games when I suggested what I was what I was really invested and I suggested that I was taking very seriously you shut me down no please don’t do that let me see what I can do I shut you down
I’m tired I will it when we were talking this is getting very specific and Pittsburgh eat but I feel better talking about if it’s not a big deal if I when we were giving our personal bios of our characters
I was giving the bio of my character Mordecai stump garden and in the middle of me explaining my Origins. Which I said because I wanted to have a connection with you in the story I said well and I think that because we’re both rebels halflings in the thing so I suggested I said well and my character and and deaf character we both have as we have like a like a secret connection and then I can continue to explain my story and in the middle of it was like absolutely not whatever
I didn’t know my character was really just picked I cared I didn’t know what that I didn’t know who I was as I like what like I have no idea we were talking about I didn’t know I was unable to yes and that cuz I didn’t know what my second character with explaining yourself and I took your wallet
I’m sorry I was a terrible person then
sorry if I caught the shut off by that and that it was not my intent I didn’t know you was even offering something I didn’t I didn’t know how to further that and I didn’t know what’s going on
this is what this is in reference to a Dungeons & Dragons game to what you guys are not invited in
that means you have been totally delightful there a Joseph dragons I feel like I think maybe maybe I’m an idiot but like my ideas are like I want to I want to make Contraptions out of the things that I have on my list and I want to put cheese on bags and maybe it’s stupid to me that it was that it was silly it a little too out there and it and I think I mean I’m the lowest common denominator so I have a really good time during this is what I was a good friend if you if you want your role to be if what you delighted is saying okay I have a sack in my inventory and I have an eagle in my inventory I want to put the sack over the eagle and turn it into an eagle stock and use that to the people around you have a right to look at you with their mouth open and I think that’s part of our enjoyment of
perhaps you would you look around the room you you no one’s going to be looking at with their hand on their chin going like go on
it’s like working with Nikola Tesla
it makes me like how to set up a little bit is that I my worst nightmare is that it feels like I’m saying those things during our D&D game because I am because I am like wolf fuck it I’ll just do whatever but really I’m just like I’m putting all of my of my little brain cells into one little package all the time when you’re up and down you’re in the kitchen we’re going around or being a combat thing and everyone is like kind of has to be aware of who’s who’s holding what and what’s going on and then it comes back to you in the end it’s going to be a reset cuz somebody’s not in the room like that again if I get it for a second to go make a drink you come back at you miss stuff you know I can pick it up Spencer’s Dad I’m a queen thank you
all right come on what what were you going to do with the sack you brought the sack out for a reason right
well okay so I’m I want I want to take the sock out of the bed roll out because I wouldn’t I wouldn’t make up a mooring dummy
so you’re saying this sack is as big as Spencer’s sack
no matter how many times you pick up those character sheets if not going to happen so I am going to have fun there to be enjoying the game so I think the audience wants to be enjoying the game
fair enough. Rocks
yeah usually when they come here and put their $10. What are they get Jonah Ray talking about eating pussy I don’t know
should I take out a rock so you cry about my dad you going to rock fuck you guys
let’s at least learn one experience point is if I can camp at
but if I shot my fiery Arrow I would give away my position so this is my plan I would like to put my federal inside my sack
I’m not going to sleep with you Eric
I got my federal on my sack and I put it in the in the corner of the room and is it what is the shape of the room is it an accident so I put it in one corner of this pentagon shape
and I would like to and I also I take some of my hair and I put how do you do that
give us that these Liberty spikes
can your hair you have your hair you’re welcome and I live in Willow Tree Goldbergs play acid washed jeans we don’t need to be as everyone knows I have a scarf around my waist is the same color as my hair I take it off and throw it on top of this this bed sack inside this is federal inside the sack and everyone knows what I’m as light I fire my arrow and I run away
I’m going to run to another corner and I’m able to I shape myself until I guess your character sheet that’s not on there that’s not on there
as a humanoid creature I can like just ate my batteries out of spit up on my chin and you’re going to get us all killed again
I don’t know they might feel sorry for us
what is melt the cheese and we can eat money in her feet and leave
so what do I roll time playing well where we watch her do all that okay
can you stuff up and just do a bed
to start I rolled a 5 of 4 and a 5 so let that frame the the results of cobbling together a quick makeshift mannequin and attempt to disguise attention from yourself you swiftly put it into position before losing an arrow from your bow after that you run and its attempt to disguise yourself like a like a slug person humanix your arrow goes wide plummeting plummeting to the ground as if it were dropped you take off down the hall but not the hall you just take off down to whatever and and you get to your destination where you contort yourself into a slug you’re right near I like that like kind of a Detachment of slugs moving by as if we’re trying to blend in with them this is not a good idea if you’re starting to realize that
well what you said
it wasn’t that finally brought that you thought it was
Pastor is Ricky Ricardo
anyone’s mind that I’m starting to realize I don’t I don’t think I’m very good at Dungeons & Dragons
there’s better tools for the deploy they’re trying to pull yes that’s not always a bag and a bedroll sometimes there’s like a vault Uno’s in the makeshift mannequin falls apart like it topples to Pieces because it’s two things are range near each other or shooting arrows like you’d be like oh two bedroom people are here but if you but if you roll low that entails you do a poor job and it in your effect is in his is as Grand as you’d hoped this is a stack placed atop a better Aaron can you can we all get together one night and play D&D your way we can
I will buy back aches and and the baby carrots and we’ll all do the stuff that we also have to do peyote
are there is no actual combat allow do you get punished if you just want to go to storage and Hannah motherfuker you everything has to be played as if you’re playing a 1995 DreamWorks interactive video game there’s a right use the rink to find the wallet Adventures dad because it’s Father’s Day and it shows getting we’re getting toward that bewitching hour right now around the world fire to blinding bomb load if you will.
yeah
I mean technically speaking it’s not your turn
Spencer Spencer role for a hug right now for a hug and let’s see like what you hugging your dad are you didn’t how can you determine that trust me
that’s up 15s a solid hit
so who had to wrapping his arms around
I’m not going to really do it
finish it finish it I don’t know what Finish Line at the end of harmontown they sit staring in stunned silence hoping that father and son will enter racks
their hopes were burned
hey that’s me that’s who I am
baby coming to Hermantown
we wouldn’t want you any other way Spencer we love you with your friend he’s met his father
thank you sir
hug hug hug hug hug hug hug
we haven’t met yet. Erin mcgathy Style
I think the takeaway is meat be there to be a father to everyone around you don’t and don’t anticipate anything from them at your your son will be whatever kind of Sunny has to be but if he’s your son he should be proud of them
I thought I could rip it
Happy Father’s Day
I love you Dad