Episode: 83 – DICKS AND BALLS AND BEER

Episode

Episode: 83 – DICKS AND BALLS AND BEER

Description

It’s the last Harmontown of 2013, get ready for some Christmas magic. Anatoly gets on stage nearly nude, Duncan Trussell talks Christmas as a mushroom cult, Adam Goldberg nearly murders everyone, Jeff Davis hates Paul McCartney and Rob Schrab jumps in on D&D. Happy Holidays and we’ll see you next year!

Transcript

favorite favorite
Let your freak flag fly you guys
I am going to visit my favorite Christmas Carol growing up Frank Sinatra this vinyl records for me the song isn’t very very meaning of Christmas
I mean we’ve all heard it
jingle bells jingle bells jingle
put your volume to Stage the reason for the season
are we going Christmas happy Hanukkah holiday celebrations going to have years in review I’m ballad sung by children the entire entire room is slightly flooded been frozen to skate out to the parking lot special Christmas wishes dances a little Christmas rap the very end and everybody
but we’ll figure it out. I think it must be said that God damn it I forgot your name and it’s holy cross between Saint Nick and Krampus
Arizona gun stage everybody Instagram the shit out of this right now
I mean
what is a gay porn is going on in Paris
Anatolian wearing a Duke as a little short shorts Reds and some Ugg boots and he’s really he’s really saying that it’s colder in Russia like are you being are you being kind of like home sick and going I accept you whether pussies
GMAC Museum seemed to be engaged in your Soviet given right to intoxication as usual
Merry Christmas committing to the forecast what is it what’s the Russian Christmas dussehra on January 7th and it’s like mostly religious holiday so most people don’t care about it we just drink and eat and is it is it like a winter solstice thing is honoring the end of the year
Norcross from European Christmas wrapping Christmas from Europe and is a great guy who’s right better than Santa Claus at the ridge
generation brought to mind coming to harmontown nearly naked
after you’re like the Drax you have to be naked
drugs you have to be are you on like ecstasy right now or mushrooms or what’s going on
so you giving a lot of back rubs granny cheese and promising to call people more often lets you changed since I was 25
what did I took some MDMA where was I I can’t remember that I bet it’s been years since I did anything interesting up here sometime around your your first mortgage payment you take on this before your first mortgage payment is on even too much marijuana like I have to be very careful even smoking pot or I’ll get his very I might freak out threshold is very low LL start like panicking I guess that’s what they mean by paranoia I never I never realized it until I realize I wasn’t yeah I’m kind of paranoid about like why am I getting high I’m too old to be getting high and I was weird shit happens to me cuz I’m I’m out I’m outside of Gods
steps like I’m not I’m out of rhythm and out of the moment and making money and being grown up and come to harmontown I would love to think that I have it in the front row and you are willing to get up onstage you seemed kind of reserved to yourself this is very different side of you for Christmas
look I’ll have what you’re having
who’s your dealer says that I’m like 300 Blackout
stupid I mean like maybe you’re just really in a good mood and that losing $0.02 have almost identical shoulder and back hair patterns to main however I am it is too late for me
take your shirt off
but it’s my fantasy that everyone in even the Freakshow element of it people are like
I don’t want to I don’t want to see it this isn’t a team is traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, no one misses that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the theme to like to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker it myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film Earth-like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
and totally I’ll give you two choices you can you can take a seat now enjoy the rest of the show or you can stay up here as naked Russian Santa Claus death morose
Grandpa Frost Grandpa Frost help people achieve what they want a new year Santa Claus accepted.
Wow the Cold War just got called a
does the last frost for the shot heard round the kitchen at
Santa Claus Susan American Star doesn’t make any sense when I read he wore green until Coca-Cola co-opted that makes sense to me I don’t know I don’t care I like I like I think people are too sardonic about Christmas because the truth is whatever you’re celebrating at this time of year it is what you’re really celebrating is the solstice you really celebrating the fact that the days are about to get the shortest that they’ll ever get before slowly starting to become longer again and and and you know how old Jasmine I believe I think you know they were conscious of how long the days were and how long the nights were at and and I think that this
timing gear is a global condition of mankind like everyone all over the place at this time of year if you have a winter than you have the sort of solstice where you you it’s the start of ingrained in US culturally to celebrate the death of the year and and Anna and ask ourselves what that means and then the cycle is beginning and stuff and it’s really matter that it like I mean your people to stamp their little feet about how Christianity co-opted this time of year you got your people to stamp their feet about the war on Christmas and trying to politically correct if I ever I think those people just like using this time of year to be unhappy and I think that you get to spend this time of year doing whatever you want I really like it’s a it’s a it’s a
it’s a type of bonding my bravery
very bold stance only thing about Valentine’s Day happens once a year and you don’t give a fuck about that problem lately clay clay clay county is the drawing-room but around Christmas time they put up really good Christmas lights and they make eggnog tonight or soon before it before before New Year’s and I’d it’s that that’s a good Christmas and now they’re going to provide you with the Russian alphabet
this this is a Christmas miracle is happening right now that way we have a semi-naked Russian Santa Claus
Anatole
is a mitochondria it’s a beer fest okay I love you
so thank you for coming Duncan my car was parked outside your house cuz I’m a drink a couple nights ago and you were in your house so I brought you here tonight thank you for coming Xbox one that I just bought friendship friendship coming to the show
is it bad if your Xbox One are they good but aren’t you scared you’re getting monitor the whole time by the connect controller
I don’t want to have to unplug a camera that’s watching me all the time
I don’t want you say I don’t know I don’t know what he says he said don’t you like to be looked at dreshertown it’s comforting for them like that makes them feel like they’re alive to be monitored
Dunkin do you have a very special Christmas Memories Christmas Memories For Better or For Worse
can you take about 1 while I complain about something gas
okay it’s more of a rhetorical question than a complaint if you’re writing if you’re if you’re a TV critic
and a nice if you could have a great wonderful misunderstood people who should all be appreciated more as long as they’re writing a network television reviews of the networks that, those people are great but I have a question for the SNL episodes play review eats catch and talk about what whether or not it was funny before I watch The Comedy sketch for after and in either case dumb like what what kind of Life are we supposed to be living as funny farted
I wonder what Joe Johnson had to say he didn’t think the furniture funny
insane isn’t it yeah Johnson recommends I think I’ll read about it
seems like the first came fast and plant the end overall it was no Coneheads but a good time with hat
SketchUp will look see
Joe Johnson with rain again
I consumed us catch using the system of a scene about how do I click the link and I was like what you know about that as an hour if you are I feel the exact same way that I feel about the guy us to watch people playing Xbox at the end I say it’s like you’re getting it’s like Instant Karma you’re getting what you deserve you have to watch SNL sketches professionally you have to watch like Marley overweight guys laying on their couch Vanishing into Oblivion.
yeah that’s what happened last night that you’re being monitored now still at school I went to town a time and they show Justin and I the Xbox one when we did that Xbox interview for their those channels and they took us behind a curtain and fired one of these things up and it was looking at my skeleton skeleton skeleton over my body cuz it could recognize my body and know where each of my knuckles were and my end and also Justin standing next to me and we were like dancing around and it new and it and then I started I was laughing the whole time cuz it was amazing and then I started noticing that when I smile that said that I was happy next to my head yeah the Nielsen evolution of the system is kind of obvious that you
you now no longer need people to crank a dial in order to test a TV show ostensibly are so weird that they actually smile when they enjoy themselves on their privacy of their living room watching a National Geographic show everything on National Geographic
twitch where you can stream playing a game like you can stream playing a game and also I guess it films you playing to feel like there’s already been bad accident where someone left that on in Emmett filmed him and his wife was passed out and it likes films him rubbing her pussy while she is
oh yeah oh really oh I see yeah I didn’t know that I thought he didn’t know he’s being monitored
what are you doing here
I believe in Russia they leave out at the rooftop Run
you were supposed to be on camera to make it like he was doing or something bad
well is that you remember Chatroulette I made it site like Chatroulette very quickly became everyone’s got their dick out because there’s like
that’s like most people to the opposite of being like the idea that you wanted that like the people who want to let nothing nothing against them out of my mind by whatever it whatever floats your boat. Take it off and do it because they need to be like seeing jerking off and all the stuff that’s like I’m so sex is too intimate for me I just really wish I wish I could just hide from my partner
yeah I know you mean a really funny joke about how do you know when you watch it for those of you watch where the camera guys are talking about yourself when this is happening but you were talking about Instagram now it’s become a thing you’re starting to go down a slide gate yeah it’s really it’s a day this is Dustin Dustin’s fault for showing me this I was fine and then it any like tied my mating impulses in with Instagram and I can’t stop staring at the fucking rectangle to take me to a girls pictures you took a selfie as you could call it
and you like the way she looks and now you can send her a message what you couldn’t do before right now it happens is very attractive people very attractive girls they have his instant way to melt dopamine out of their brains which is they just take a picture of themselves and put it on Instagram and then thousands of people like the picture and that keeps that that makes them feel like they are connected to the universe and that they are alive or something but that was always has been you can contact the people in Staffing and they can write you back and then that pulls you into like a darker Vortex of computers you can send a private photo of you so you can sing about Instagram I felt like I was going to be murdered for times like I felt like honestly and danger and Katt Williams
well that was a mating ritual you know why people go to a bar and they want to meet me at everyone’s trying to make people are generally trying to reproduce are there are there in a monogamous relationship but people are generally driven by their sex drive and it used to be you would go into the world to try to do that and now this has been digitized and so there’s this whole new thing for me which is like you know like the way it works is like what was your name if I wanted to sleep with you he said thank you
butt in Russian
but you know it’s a series of like so you like someone’s picture and then they like your picture and then you like their picture and that’s the digital version of looking at someone and looking away and then you catch them looking at you the Cupids and all the dating stuff Christian Mingle
I was I was going to come out I was doing a comedy show in the Midwest and farmer date
what State Farm State Farm phone number
pink primer
Christian Mingle
the Arctic Christian apparently there’s pockets of 4 Non city Folk that’s pretty amazing
round around this great idea
we really don’t know how
the money is coming in from the from the from the homeless people that’s got there’s people there might be people who want to date a farmer or like like like so wrong but I would say that I’m pretty sure is a certain percentage of traffic on Christian Mingle or I would say there’s lots of people that are sure I love the Lord has the highest free dating sites
doesn’t it cuz like if you’re a fundamentalist Christian you believe in a death God you believe in a God who I get to you worship that being afraid of that but it does make sense that you would it’s a sacrifice. So some percentage of the people who go on Christian Mingle probably still believe the old ways in thinking or you sacrifice your date on Christian Mingle the same thing happens where the transmission comes down like if you believe in me you will decapitate
but you know like a cute like a nice like you’re like yeah but it has to be honest
I don’t know man but that stereotype
it isn’t it is an awesome terrifying got the Old Testament God though I just got in a conversation about that with Aaron cuz I was talking about my Mike Daniel and how I like that story in the Bible in the Old Testament God and I was kind of talking about how I like that God and she was so she kind of like I don’t know if she did it differently than objective was sending her an accident I didn’t mean to I was just being Joseph Campbell lie about it like I don’t know we’re probably both drunk I think that she took it to mean somehow that I had that I had a that I that I preferred it to the New Testament I don’t know. Isn’t it
I think that part of the appeal of modern Christianity is it some of the barbarism and misogyny and and sings the that were that the Old Testament steeped in a have been somehow catch can be somehow I opted out of that by way of the Terminator 2 like like moving in a Lady Gaga okay well you’ve heard it this way but now it’s like this which is a huge value add to this equal the New Testament I like reading it and sometimes like it’s a good thing to read when you’re meditating or so you find a little first but you really do have to wait through like you have to have a big filter need any part of the New Testament because it’s sending the disciples out into the world to Tara Tara spread the message and I Shake the Dust from your feet
you stated in your town is fucked your soakers do I get to Crater your town is going to be a crater now so if you’re leaving you don’t like it give him a listen to Christian radio it’s really fun to listen to Christian radio and highly recommend listening to Christian music and pretending that your Jesus and if the sauce
how did those wires get crossed if you listen to music that I sometimes run into because I’m a I’m a respected person among people who are very intelligent they like their science fiction as their personalities that don’t typically come with Rosary attached to them and modern Christianity is is you know it’s what what the modern American Christianity what is that that’s not connected at all to to the value of this mythology which is that there was this guy who was kind of Awesome music of Martin Luther King jr.
this is like kind of kind of did a lot of that kind of shit I can relieve himself because he believed in people being nice to each other at the myth goes it’s like you can beat this is Christmas time price miss the Glee Chris price word means half man half right like the idea of Christ is supposed to be the idea I thought that we can all do this we can all we all have it within us to wield the power of the old Babylonian Marion kind of Mesopotamian Mike like boogie man like who make the thundercrack and who make the cancer Bloom and who makes it the cows died overnight like all that Cosmic chaos that we stock up to fuck my locker and some weird Superstition we can start to embody that power take control of it and and and be cut as we’re doing that way
responsibility to each other to Value human life and stuff to do with Billy Graham not that I regret that the Gnostic say that in Graham Hancock is it’s really amazing at like far out his dorian’s like believes that like humans have been here much longer and he he was telling me that
it did the gnostics believe that so Satan the first thing Satan is going to do is convince everyone that he is God or that he is Jesus that’s the move you convince people that you’re you’re the Lord of love and that’s the person that George Bush worship is actually Satan modern Christianity is actually Satanism because only the only Satan would tell a president you should drop bombs on our way. No no no Lord Of Love would say that Jesus is all love Jesus represent love like love at all costs love no matter what I love everyone and forget about yourself you lose yourself completely in love and that’s the bats what I think Christianity is but it somehow it gets diverted and they say this is because of the that Roman Emperor who recognized that Christianity was spreading I wanted to make it a state religion and that’s why I had to have that Gathering of people there like okay this is great
we still need to decapitate murder people and set things on fire so we might just like a country club like about the Trinity and what pants you can wear and so is so is any organized fact of taoism Buddhism like if you if you if you’d let the bread out long enough like all you got it you could come back 10 minutes later and the biggest dick out of the room is a charge the guy who says like what they supposed to be for me I know it’s a concept of organized religion is incredibly problematic away with organizing spiritual conversations organizing Spirit of religion at all but what I am saying is that that it’s just like that’s not religion nothing but you’re talking to other people about your your your relationship with the unknown Jesus said that by the way I mean
but but how basically prayers that you do in front of other people but they’re not they don’t really count down the street corners like that whoever they are about to give me The Cross by John Mark is still legro of you ever heard of that like it said that the baked beans with this second but it started as a mushroom called and he has all these amazing pictures of what do you mean by mushroom called and that the whole thing was like talking about the
never getting with coming from eating mushrooms like the gods sacrifice was imbibing mushrooms and the communion was actually mushrooms which is why I went like the instruction for communion is before you take communion you should forgive your enemies you have to make sure that you forgiven everyone because it’s if you’re going to go on a mushroom trip and you go there in a bad headspace it’ll be terrible so the whole thing is like a veiled mushroom Conyers awesome pictures of like in these early Christian churches of Adam and Eve in there standing underneath clearly a mushroom like they’re standing next to there’s all these pictures of mushroom it’s like this is a what’s up the tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil is actually a mushroom and that’s Terence McKenna’s idea which is like the stoned ape theory that the hominid took mushrooms and a that’s what caused this massive expansion of the neocortex way back when is because mushrooms grow on the shit of bovine animals which is why
earlier would have been hunting and omnivores would have been eating the mushrooms I could believe that because there’s a psilocybin has a sort of articulate but I figured out that shared Consciousness shift that you have on mushroom it always has something to give a bad trip sometimes you think your friend is a Dracula
that’s it talk about you know who would never associate drugs with criminality and but who for one reason or another ended up taking this psilocybin thing at the same experience as a groovy dude they have the same sort of weird momentary realization about about perspective lifting one that makes you feel like a meaningless back in an infinite universe but one that makes you feel like you’re connected to All Things ancient Christian church with incense burning and people seeing these weird chance and you’re eating the mushrooms with the intention of connecting with the godhead that would be a very intense trip
but you know I didn’t wouldn’t it be amazing which is why sometimes I think of modern Christianity is people who only like it’s like people who have stacked wood and they’re putting their hands in front of the wood and pretending there’s a fire there but they haven’t lit the wood on fire and then the Psychedelic is what ignites the fire and that’s what really creates the true feeling of the presence of God by the way you know the whole thing about Christmas of course in Santa Claus is actually a representation of the Amanita muscaria mushroom if you ever heard that damn and totally everybody right now receipts you’ll find a mushroom
yes no it’s 45 minutes just going to shroom is red and white which is exactly the color that Santa Claus wears what he was originally was a very late 50s 40s Coca-Cola until very recently has a green and white
whatever fits into my mushroom story
one thing that I said academic
yeah it was that will also also if they they say that The Druids would hang these mushrooms to dry on pine trees and that that’s that’s the whole I can’t wait go to Hanging shit on trees actually comes from drying these mushrooms out to do this like a psychedelic ritual and I’ll shut up about mushrooms that there’s one more point I want to make
which is did I drew it to a drink each other’s pissed because if you eat mushrooms the psilocybin still stays in the urine and so are they drink their own piss to like start tripping again what you can do if they contact Haley
heavy-duty kind of like the Jesus mythology because of Campbell and stuff like that so I started Jesus Christ Superstar again and was like

really cool and I’d started why I watch some documentaries and stuff in Jesus Christ Superstar that New York she was blown away she’d only ever seen God spell man for breakfast cuz I just got out of him an hour ago and I was at
yes it can we can we edit in the lightning and thunder
or sleigh bells
the kind of line between academics and you know researching the actual historical person Jesus there’s some of them believes that the reason for his personality has character his message that he brought was that as a as a youngster growing up he was an apprentice to his dad who probably would have been a stonemason not a carpenter and I don’t need to grow up in Jerusalem or was it was it was it was like spending is at his younger years when when you kind of like Joan was it was it was thank you sir
Jesus who hung out in Nazareth Ellie was 38 or is he Jesus who was born in Nazareth in any way when he was a practicing for his dad being a stonemason I would have been exposed if you was going if you wasn’t working and imports and exports as a stone Mason might in that City like like kind of been exposed to a lot of Eastern philosophy coming coming in off of those those same docs I don’t know but I thought that was interesting
call my baby from my present Santa Margarita warm to the idea that the majority of how much of religion did you attribute to mushrooms at least all of it or just the big one that the other ones I was always writing a book that is if you don’t do anything
you’re right nothing if you just a list tomorrow night and let go at Duncan Trussell said the mushrooms were religion and when I did not I did not think I was going to bring in the explosion that happened four hundred years going from religion religion is a really important personal Force I believe that a lot of what are spiritual Journeys to take place internally but the idea that the representation of religion is something that people go together to ignore God and just to worship a fire that isn’t there just seems problematic is someone who’s had some glitches
I placed the fuck out of my ass when I was in Charlie Brown I did not puke
singing We Wish You a Merry Christmas
as someone who’s had a lot of wonderful experiences being around people around the Christmas tree spending it up doing things like something that doesn’t connect you one way to God but you to God to everyone else that you’re willing to spend time with religion can be a wonderful social leveler it can be a reason to get out of your house and give me a reason to visit the invalid and charity and especially Christian charity is not something that is easy it is something that we choose to do because of what we believe to help people out who are less fortunate who are
more Goldberg and then harmonium let’s say in our society
the only time that we have them in our society is that they had their names written in the same type of book in the beginning the pages were you keeping the family history the same scroll the same Commandments
he’s here to save Christmas you guys Christmas we wish you a Merry Christmas we wish you a Merry Christmas what’s your mind reindeer
what is reindeer does Reindeer the song am I ever ever perpetrated on mankind there’s no bad one I’ve even heard that Paul McCartney is ashamed of myself for this stricken from the record but I heard what is this song what is this song Jingle Jingle Bell Rock jingle horse make
TD up jingle horse can we all just go after the time in town for 72 hours and make him because I walked in to see how you are when you asked us to go away at the first Christmas Carol I heard cuz it was it was August 1st and the first one I heard I walked in and Duncan treat yourself to these rich Majestic Mythic in the lyrics says fuck it almost almost
organized who give a shit
what you doing tonight
and that’s a no packet show don’t tell
Christmas music baby it’s about my simply simply America why she was had a mustache OK Google
okay now what this is because it did there is a dark moment shopping Sears
pressing demo buttons I’m surprised Greensleeves isn’t in there somewhere last two people in Guantanamo Bay
It’s a combination
my turkey for no reason if you go to the ER if you go to a minor yesterday Blackbird is shit
he’s a songwriter he brought some goodies he also wrote fucking Maxwell’s Silver Hammer we can go fucking stuff
John Lennon step it up a couple time
I know said that they were wrong on a set with Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney you taking the shit out of out of our Polly because he wants to know and high relief to the fucking beautiful artwork that he made this happen
it wasn’t that we can you back it up cuz I want to hear the entire what the choir of children sing
nothing simple about the children who’s there song
18 John
what time does McCartney life throws it to them
yourself
guys will take your word for it
the word the word is out
always giving up on the sideline before that happened said he wants to lift lift a glass he doesn’t know how to act
but now it’s now
no one ever heard of
now you you
fuck him and it was the last year because it was the first time I kissed Aaron
I remember the night you’re talking about cuz I know the next time you want to play because I grew up on the Peanuts Christmas special brilliant Vince Guaraldi trio to do all that music and if you don’t listen to Vince Guaraldi trio at least take him and the boys and the music in the end the peanut special is really Melancholy is really sad it’s kind of your brains out the darkness to it but it’s also for me the Christmas
like I have relief on Christmas Memories that I grew up in a nice small family and then everybody got along more or less than that and quickness is always fun but the music is sad is Charles Schulz had to fight for the darkness peanuts specials at least convince yourself that The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow When the Christmas then yeah I think it’s fun to overcome encounter with the natural what kind of still dark and I love I’ll Be Home for Christmas cuz I believe and I sure as far as I know they were Christmas I came out for that that was a big hit for the truth because I’ll be home if only in my dreams and families heard that song is really dark and mistletoe
I won’t be home for Christmas I might be in Italy in the art that’s for Rosie Riveter we all will be together if the fates a while and so such a similar thought but it doesn’t tell you the military service in the military compromising Viking sometimes unpredictable jealous crazy guy that likes create ice ages and then and freezes your crops and and and and and plays Roller Coaster with the infant mortality rate and nnn has viruses and grasshoppers eat your face with that in personal Cosmic Force going like like we’re all we’re all in that military service is going like
maybe I’ll be at the highest suicide rate of the year we all know that like liquid from Gremlins gremlin
Grambling Saturday
check on Adam Duncan like what he did when he came up here
came up to defend the the god in Christmas
save us from train crashes that’s why you need that’s why I let you in Hinduism you need a Shiva to make sense of the whole thing like an in Christianity things gets really weird because you have this apparently all the Adam Goldberg
because he only just wanted to come on stage to something else Adam would be coming up here reminding us that we should be skeptical of the Christian God has three sizes too small just a minute it’s like like at least don’t don’t don’t lose those don’t lose the moment like like if you if if the if the stage is a big pink box or the red ribbon on it so I can open it up and then thank us for it like like let’s get some pictures of you and your email. I think so but also I think you did come up with me trying to defend Christmas was just really trying to do the same thing but you going to bring that shit back
Steven Christmas rap hard as we’ve ever laughed in our lives.
Fuck you Paul McCartney this is a fucking a good car I really really happy Beautiful lyrics set against the most beautiful melancholic music of all time what was the side of the road just sitting around getting ready and I was in a good mood cuz I I kind of had a crush on this girl it was starting to hang around the instrumental version
the song Perfect Storm
I said I play
if you could hear it we were giggling cuz you were singing Dixon balls and beer to the song and then and then
how is it compared to whenever we were woke up
and I lost it
balls and beer are The Perfect Storm
Christmas time
compact kitchen is looking at that on a piece of paper and a mighty God
perfect. That’s fucking Christmas
can’t tell if the signs in favor of it
what’s a dire predictions going to go down tonight
go to the 2nd 3rd 4th * I met Aaron and she would seem we were in that we were absolutely apoplectic at least an hour to it and God damn it became evident that we stopped by and I kissed her for the first time it was still at I was I I I leaned in and I kissed her and it was I I I don’t think I’ve ever had this experience where I just like she just accepted the kiss but nothing else happens there’s a sort of like Little House on the Prairie kind of like
kiss usually like evolved into something but she was not she was not ready but was not rebuffing and so it just so we just continue to like we had a little tubes that we ran with a stick made out of daisies or something and I only went went to read the Bible to my blind Grandpa
deep
did she find out
all right let’s have a special Christmas meeting with the real the actual father of winter
the embodiment of the solstice Nordic traveling cold cold cold immune shorts in Times Square in January wearing Spencer Crittenden
hey hey
hey guys do you love the cold yeah yeah what’s up what was it simply having a wonderful Christmas time you can change one word of that song be any holiday day of the week for Halloween we haven’t a wonderful turkey sandwich yeah it’s just the mood is right yeah it’s just Anything ya back massage
a wonderful back massage if the fates allow that’s a good lyric is there more of that song what’s that kind of like I change were there
yeah I forgot to get on my cuz it’s a good if you like
when is John Sean Connery
thank you
so the original version of that song as it was written by who ever Sami Khan or whoever wrote it out here
through the years we all will be together if the fates allow until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow your version do you know it’s a bit like what year it would be if that were depression-era something like that because I probably later than that 40 or 2:30 so I do know that I’m the coolest thing in the world but it’s hard to imagine singing that that original Eric in the way that traditionally do because if that’s that’s the point where you really well
you got to go crazy you go for it and bring it home the original version of this
I got a lot of the old stuff that’s that’s a good choice what’s your name young man Christmas memory
there goes your wish
there could be some wish-fulfillment is now my family our tradition my oldest brother earlier he wanted for Christmas more than anything else Nat King Cole’s Christmas is for children and that was our family tradition we decorate the tree with that just plan on yeah we play probably 45 times harmontown
All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth
Merry Christmas
chose
my two front teeth My Two Front Teeth
wow.
you have any effort or Junior Christmas show is supported by a species history of the special. Need to be attacked by Adam Goldberg about it
I was I was I was really I was being the hero up here he tried to act like he was playing Darth Vader I resent it I resent him
are you trying to tee up a Christmas miracle right now, come down for a little Christmas gunshot that’s my favorite Christmas song
Jingle Bell
did you go by the New York New York Post headlines
spell clock felt my life was being threatened with a skunk felt it at my third I like before I even yeah
travel sound like if someone found at Disston Street and
that was fast that was fast that was like like new zombie you speed like that and I thank and and fucking SUV I looked up and there was an SUV coming. That did not say I think we were going straight in the SUV was making a left turn we had the button and so and so you know we were going straight and This SUV just decided to continue its Western so just in the middle of a conversation about Gary Shandling or something and then we’re going to die because we were going 35 45 miles an hour and and and he so was he and Tom out the wheel all the way and the end result was just somehow I swear like molecules of the paint
on the gun the respective cars must have must have rushed up against each other lately but nothing other than I have it was just like the very end part which is you talking like that that’s what you see when was life is taken away from him
nothing just garbage is nothing is going to Adam Goldberg guarding Out of the Shadows
you won’t be home I won’t but I won’t have time to fix my posture I won’t know how I live here in my shoulders and nothing about it and get the dye that way like most of us but yeah but can’t answer the cancer you get time to say goodbye to everybody when you get a Goldberg that’s you don’t get to say goodbye. It’s at a Time Rush the stage remind me of the saint of platoon or the staff are coming Sunday
I think we have a long or new
I thought that sounded like
I like Through The Years we’ll all be together if the speaker so I can go out to take on Christmas I mean I like the I’m more of a grump around the holidays about on some field expectations for me so yeah I know because people are like Christmas never been the same ever since my dad lost his leg it’s like yeah my parents got me a Hello Kitty digital camera
oh my God it was a digital camera that was like half crap dollars value isn’t even worth utility you know it’s not even a joke if you’re around the house of the dead horse like I was like I’m going to fuck it I’m going to make my own happiness which I should have carried on the rest of my life because I only do that for Christmas how do you do that now I just get myself the stuff I want and I tell everybody else to go fuck themselves

weather
there you go saying it’s not fucking hard
sir Paul McCartney I don’t respect
there’s at least make you fight a dragon you should eat you should have waited for Megan for recording yesterday so now that you recorded that Christmas song fight a dragon and we’ll call it even
why don’t think you should be I like what you’re saying because I think people get all the victim me around the holidays yet my roads and they pretend they don’t have control over what’s going on but you can it’s so fun just 200 I’ll tell you my Christmas memory Christmas Day I’m driving and I’m on I’m by myself and I’m driving Christmas morning. I’m in West Hollywood driving the streets are empty out it’s so fun to drive and Christmas the streets are empty I’m driving so I’m kind of like you guys are not going to believe me and sometimes I still think was it a hallucination but crossing the street with giant mushroom
even we even we even weirder even weirder crossing the street with Laika a little a little buggy with a goat pulling it and a little person riding in the buggy
I still wonder did I dream it with it but I saw it I saw it and quickly went across the street coming down from Fairfax don’t know where he went outside it was a boat and a little person who is lug a little buggy with a little person in it was he voluntarily was with the little person like fucking Sinister man it was like
king of Dimensions or something like this
little mini go to pull a buggy with a
buggy cuz that’s the other thing like a little it almost looks like a baby carriage was coffee man it look like it got off with baby carriage it was creepy now ice now I’m saying this and I feel like I can do this really happen
I want to live in a world where this didn’t happen happened man and it didn’t look like they were going with purpose or was it look at my little persons for sure when you see a squirrel that’s trying to get from tree to tree it was like that kind of supposed to get tonight
they weren’t together if not being a little person in this situation back and I found my way into this buggy this goat toad buggy and now it looks like I’m supposed to be in it I can’t get out with little person dressed up as Santa Claus Christmas art experiment where they know the only way people are driving around on Christmas morning. It’ll freak him out permanently
drive past and say what the hell did I do I said I think I would have pursued them I was so depressed that day that I was just like a course yeah
boy does not come until after Craigslist ad.
I’d like to think that was just like the world’s most funny little person does just like I’m going to make everybody stay really complicated
my friend Milford on Fairfax noon getting ready to Fairfax and pizza and he’s going to the street and he sees about two blocks up coming down or Fairfax High would be maybe maybe not like a block for sure but definitely renting what kind of guy he’s like six four six five and you can have supper and kind of brazen with soften the guy runs up to man grabs him by the shoulder
add to my calendar to the end of the Emoji Movie
information
how many World War II born and just go charging he was a giant as well
what day is it Wednesday
1998 a show for one person
I don’t know where it where it where the payoff happens there
what we need to we need a chair now I got to we got to send you back in the front around but you can prop your Uggs up on the stage like you know like this is your home, that’s why I want to punch everybody
it seems like a song that you like you would you would write and play to make your mom say
Entergy of a favor Xmas tune Play song got me with another thing it doesn’t mix well they’re all just terrible I mean what am I man you love and be loved one since last
King Wenceslas
I don’t get everyone’s having a beverage moment it looks like that I was wondering about that
okay come on your nothing is nothing he couldn’t
then I am nothing, there was a TV special with David Bowie and he’s like what is the what is this like the guy he’s so weird but Bing Crosby It’s just like I’m playing ball and this is a goodie
president to be peace on Earth
especially because we got we got 13 wet what is it’s a 23 minute let’s play some Christmas here she’s sick at home she doesn’t want to send it.
what’s up I was
Shabba Shabba Shabba Shabba Shabba traffic maps.
Christmas is a special show I just wanted to end the year
you know I heard you out there I almost got killed by an SUV with you once I was driving with one arm to like I was just I did I think I just want I just want to make it was just a passing Highland you know that that means like there’s a statistical 95% chance that we were going to serve a shity ass bitch payday does a good chance we weren’t on our way to make entertainment history we were going to hear if I came in the car and we would have died. Greenblatt
HBO Christmas wish wish for this Christmas I’m going to miss you guys.
Where you going to be at you but you’re going somewhere else I don’t know that San Francisco too to take us to hang out with sister and her husband
pictures of the world 25 years old San Francisco
I really wish I hope you guys are safe and I tried to find the the most spooky Christmas song I have to to give you the the intro sorry I’m here I can help dungeon master what do you do you want to roll the dice
you’re such a character will be at character sheets are dispensed Spencer spooky Christmas Christmas it doesn’t matter Rob pick up.
This is going to be
great the dice are rolled
Madea cast of Last Time on Harmony is sharp a reminder for the third time he had a hawk
we talked to Mitch hurwitz I had a good time I guess I can I guess I can
you’re pulling off our heroes were attacking his metallic gold Sharpie attack from the inside on what he could swear was a heart melt the metal monsters steel skin with their blazing Armor after their individual attempts failed the heroes outside the Golem began attacking the head in unison song and cleaving at its neck and Trudy Capital fashion meanwhile Sharpie an Avenger cracked wise and shrunk the glowing red heart note before diving into two holes that were revealed to be the Golems legs down there they spied glowing stones and Sharpie shrunk one because he was on a roll shrinking stuff and it caused the go to shutter and the stones glue to dim it seemed as if it was just a matter of time until the Ghulam was disassembled
that’s all I don’t know
uptown Ford
at school I was awesome I know you as well as a Dunkin and a Rob you guys are sitting on a mansion Sittin shoulders of his head with a wire saw you are hacking at it with the right now about a third of each side so there’s about 1/3 left how big is this guy’s neck
I take I take my take my mighty Greatsword pull it back out and give it one more big / you’re not Robert Redford in the natural you know they’re going to spark the scoreboard for us to share lead us
did he has some additional Sade she has always said that and rabbit the Great
is amazing
so yeah like the amazing you swing your sword did whatever damage in this case the fine
metal office things head its head falls off
the robots and that’s enough yeah what is that we look in his neck you see if floating glowing stone is blowing with the a topaz
you’re down in the people at topaz thing ice cream and then like a shaft of light kind of going into the into the
make sure do I put my fingers
the real friends like how does Lucifer sit in the backseat
are you okay and you’re right into the neck hole yes okay yeah so you look up to
and then you get you get vomit all splattered around you you guys get what’s happening I don’t know how to yeah yeah yeah so Christopher gets his vomit voluntarily I don’t know how did what does it do to the floating thing in there like how does the vomit interact with its glowing
this is actually a really good idea it’s not the only assistant but it’s certainly the most efficient
I start peeing on it
so I have to hike hike up my skirt or something what do I do not like your skirt up for you okay I got my skirt and then I just kind of being on the site right now I’m coming up so you guys know what you guys both miss your face so I rolled it be check I wrote the essay is to dexterity but yes but but however does vomit directly onto the surface of the crystal that offer not really it doesn’t Sizzle emerging from the neck and seeing this thing is that what are you going to eat your clambering up on I’d like to order up but it’s it’s a bit tough cuz you’re all slick with movement
what is the time in the middle of his neck hole into the whole sum of all the rest of its player down but why would the brain being a snake hole but this thing remains down in the middle like right right at the next call Amethyst
so you are you up out of the next in the neck area you burst forth like to touch this topaz vomit right now is your question the whole 5-foot radius do you have to scratch like pretty pretty far did you just cast teamwork
find the greatest spell of all
anyway working together you managed to reach out and grasp this feels like it’s being held in place with like a magnetic kind of force but isn’t there is an eyeball
how do you print different things out the heart not the heart
topaz moving still or is it what you do while we do this to it but it’s true it’s been a bit momentarily stunned by the loss of it hasn’t started moving past man yeah it’s going to just grab the topaz and throw it throw it away he grabbed it so I can get back to the shoulder area I put it in my pocket either in a new pocket the thing is a substance being decapitated
are you simply having a wonderful Christmas time
I climbed on his back like is he wearing clothing of some sort of whose skin I would like metal
I know what now we know the great question
yeah yeah I guess I guess I get out of the keep level you were a yeah this is the level with all those bodies I guess all the blood buckets of it you do that you can see just like snow and whiteness is also can I climb down and push the go Golem over go down together okay we push over the Golem in unison you push the Golems ankles and at first it begins to Creek and then to hotter a bit maybe
and then toppled in fact topple over in a pile of playing playing metal
happens happens if I touch the frosted glass at the window I’m standing it is they look out at the fresh new fallen snow and I think about family and I think about a little baby born in a manger
I start telling everybody how Christmas comes from mushrooms
how do you make several cogent point
I examined exam for Dora’s other ways of the only way through this door is a large metal hatch in the floor examiner’s metal door is good over here and I vomit I wait wait wait
doesn’t fizzle know I use the restroom
I have your house man take my grandmother’s are used by Steven skills to analyze the door to make sure it’s not trapped see if they’ve if it if it’s a trapdoor not trapped although you’re not quite sure how it opens up it doesn’t appear to be trapped as many of the doors that I’ve seen before
what is at least a $1 fine everybody let’s pull it up it seems like it’s some sort of sliding swinging I slide the door use the only lava yeah yeah I told you guys be at rural repeated we came to his place we checked his ass we’re done we’re we’re looking for the truth
I’m just saying like what if we just said to you three weeks later they were all found dead I mean there’s no law yeah that’s going to roll the only other thing as a staircase that goes up Waze doesn’t work pillar of black black and Crystal and a big hole in the floor with a man I don’t think he’s right I think this is only one way to find out
is Windows Windows there snow outside and down into the snow
no no there isn’t
is there a servant of the plural and you got yeah yeah
I want to I want to go over to these windows and how far down is it outside it says on here so we can use the rope to climb. We trying to get out of here
shall we push up I take the servants unconscious body and I pushed him out of the window
you don’t see the serve and there’s no sir there certainly was I mean yeah it’s crazy and jump to the window on cast featherfall the only source of casting feather fall on people you’re the first one out the door the guy who build parachutes
I didn’t know I can even cash it on other people but we just go down my rope yeah and at the end of my rope cuz I have 100 of 950 well I got to climb up over here open in your room and get them back up here at schimizzi Feather Falls are we going to swing from him all right you see if you want to I mean if you don’t catch it thank you and back up cuz he’s got a cast Feather Falls as a feather so we pull up people
what does hanging out here in case.
How’s those guys look it’s it’s getting late
Christmas time and I feel like you know we don’t know whether whether or not The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow with her Admiral dark stars going to come and get it says it’s kind of pranks of miracle to happen right now to end this show characters penis off
now I throw up
yeah that merry Christmas everybody
all right I guess that’s heading
don’t forget where we were in this game
we’re going to be a couple weeks before we see you again
Anatoly Robb Drive
Spencer Crittenden
thank you for a year another year of audio audio fortitude from Zack and did you think Zack Adam and Justin are producer and I don’t know who else is doing shit back at the very happy to be a part of the show you guys the people to come here to live with a wonderful people in the world right I hope I went there we can see you too thank you all merry Christmas happy holidays, giving us a home thank you

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