Episode: 86 – Constitutional Belieber

Episode

Episode: 86 – Constitutional Belieber

Description

Mayor Harmon is joined by Alie & Georgia of the Slumber Party podcast to defend the constitutional rights of Justin Bieber. In D&D, Sharpie doesn’t like Lineve’s tone.

Transcript

once again in Hollywood California Hermantown is now
please welcome to the stage the mayor Apartments down
if you’re Dan Harmon
I guess
nervous and I don’t know why
cuz that guy’s got high standards
I can feel I’d felt his needs when he walked in the door of the woo guy that he’s got a few needs that he was he’s acting that way because he feels like he’s he’s at a big time it’s it’s time for him to be really entertained of our lovable fans I stopped for a drink at the pikey as Aaron are walking back dark foreboding gang
Hope Street Subs tops you know harmontown fans like five of them but like Matt landsman those are the two faces I saw but for my social disorder cause me to just look at the sidewalk
I don’t know what what did he say that he was wearing a red Argyle Sweater I would guess try to get 7-Eleven okay
to get 5-hour Energy’s and Blinky keychains or something
push it
okay so there is Five Guys they’re all like harmontown fans they probably met like hanging out here up ABS going to Hazard a guess or there’s probably groups of friends who did meet but coming to the show what if 5 of them then robbed a bank
or killed somebody or something are you reflect on you
fun mazes with that big how weird was That Bass River after Columbine resolves undue attention on Doom the video game get together in some way they all have some common connection down robberies or because they all met like pictures of them at an agreed that’s pretty unlikely but I would like to plant that seed right now who ends up to do right now isn’t it lucky if the mood strikes any of you committed to nonviolence but high-profile crime that’s hard to do they wear on all aware harmontown hoodies
you okay or do it with a bunch of people you met at harmontown so that that’s the thread in the cops and their statements that we’re going to see this word harmontown we’re going to circle it they’re going to they’re going to release a statement and it’s going to be like the trenchcoat Mafia going to be like The harmontown Killers robbers burglars that you’re worried about liability but I’m worried about being blown up by one of them great job that’s called accidental, trolling
you know Twitter 25,000 followers you definitely every day someone says someone tweets you and says my baby daughter is going to transplant or whatever it’s really heartbreaking and so can you reach Wheaton blah blah blah and I kind of don’t do it 24 hours a day I’m kind of stuff like that but then those people liked tweet at also Marc Maron or something like that and I hope that your daughter has a good heart transplant all that stuff but I also if somebody’s a big harmontown fan that I met on tour this this guy’s brother treated me and it just want I promised him that I would mention it his Twitter names of brother is gravy with three TAPS at your Portland stock
was jumped beaten and stabbed and nearly died Wednesday in Seattle Thursday in ICU we watched the new episode wheel of the graceful exits for Troy Barnes and Pierce Hawthorne would you wish Jeff a get-well at harmontown your hero to us please thanks
thank you Dad when I responded to him I said I hope I hope he sticks his heart will be a long recovery and then he included a photo of us like we we we met if it wasn’t that. That’s why I said that there was a link to a picture and photo that we took together the brothers and I’m assuming from the hashtag tough Ginger that the kid in question Jeff is probably the the curly redhead on the right of the picture and there’s not a lot of people who look like they deserve to be stabbed but this this this this kid looks the least like he deserves to be
we all thought you were going to the way on that way I would have snapped this kid looks like he’s just adorable he looks like a little angel soda Chef if you’re able to be listening to this our prayers and Good Vibes are with you here at harmontown and where were the doctors at breaking your sternum hurt can you imagine Jesus Christ
yeah yeah yeah, you got to you got to break a couple
because you can’t get away with murder because you none of us know anything about cars. It’s fucked up Jeff you should trust your doctors in intensive care you should do you should trust they know what they’re doing all right so I don’t know a couple things I wanted to talk about but I think we should bring up our gas first cuz maybe we can talk about it with some of that before lacking for conversation Hearts dark participation has Alie & Georgia, and I asked him in the last name of the Green Room audio Network would you figure that Jeff Ferrell adios and network I’d be jiggered if I knew
they’re podcast of called slumber party and they did have a show on the Cooking Channel called tripping out and they’re known for making insane cocktails like the mcnuggetini I can going to sometimes I just read the blurb that I get to it but but. But he live at the Hollywood improv Wednesday the 29th and end their first got this Dan Harmon that sound exciting to me is he in town
sit where you like do you like
sorry I called one of you hardstark before nervous tonight I don’t know why it’s cuz of the wood guy I don’t know you said you were nervous before the guy would I think it shows in so long with this guy came back last week show I was in a blackout drunk I won’t listen to it as quick apology to all listeners that that’s still listen to us after that show cuz that show
alley in Georgia who qualified lunatics or know anything about her have any fucking and safe and wow double vaginas appear going to revisit any dinner so if you have a vagina talking about the people with vaginas I don’t know what does qualified as it was a lack of intellectual like you guys got any Wonder into that room
and then I go home and sleep like a baby and then all Races and all genders I like what the fuc
what are what are you what do you mean we’re making this up and we miss speak a lot I didn’t I never listen to I would never listen to that when I can simply for my own I have I listen to feel like if I get off stage and if I can remember how that show went but I don’t listen
picking up drunk vodka all day long and come up here and have a credible facility like you can be quite Lucid even though I know because I know you that you were Steamboat Willie drunk. You’re either going to be extra special like swirly and like like like
like a blurb about 7 or something like that for Matt I didn’t read his stuff is great but his publisher can go so I can I don’t know how do you listen to it
clear and then machines replace slavery I sent you a nice life and that’s a whole nother story.
Can I just open up with Chicken McNugget teeny tell me a little bit about this that’s how we monetize our friendship we might be like have this inside your best friend we go out at late at night and we have to actually ride or the LA Times and so I would be there in till at the lights turned off and I have to call the power room and then I can you do
the receptionist so I had to say yes to Whiteman yeah Rich white man I had to do like smiling that’s really hard here something I’m right in the middle of like the fourth episode of whatever and so we had we always had the stroke we wanted to go out for a mcnuggetini after work because it would take care of dinner and a drink and is there anyway you can go back to have it away and then suffer again in the morning and so we had this joke and I think I posted on each other’s Myspace Pages if the time so I can let you do it, doctor but he then didn’t make anything for like super deluxe package of oatmeal and he’s still work for them at
he made he made a video for us of us making this trinket involved which is like all manner of horrible just in every scale it’s a McDonald’s milkshake chocolate shake it lightly and important to a friend in the McDonald’s
as a garnish is a McNugget in a chocolate milkshake vanilla vodka
weather Rim que sizes and I’m imagining like Olive Garden Show at the Gibson on the wrist yeah I like it and it’s like you don’t even tip french fries and then I can go read the New York Times restaurant review of Guy Fieri’s Times Square
buy is 15 machine guns that loads them up and just Blaze’s that restaurant the pieces in this room this review its it is an absolute like assassinated of the restaurant in New York Times it went to Guy Fieri’s what was it called bro isn’t it something
I might as well
I got to see this sounds like a miniature golf course of food just like things and wrong scales and confusing and you said it’s it’s a McDonald’s chocolate milkshake with vanilla vodka a barbecue sauce trim glass and a slice of Chicken McNugget on the rim that was so gross McDonald’s hotcakes and we were like oh she cuz we didn’t mean to be known for this like I I studied so hard in school every time for will do like somebody doing something and not a lie will be like this is there penicillin
into a career to go to college but like I have a career and I made a second career out of this we quit our jobs and then and then the New York time contacted asking like we’d like to do a feature story he fly out to New York through the interview go and if we collectively lost our shit and then and then Food Network offer to the contract so we would
where’s why because it sounds just ridiculous enough to be awesome
I’m sure they’re incredulity Rhino but well you shouldn’t share people’s incredulity about their success you should let them be incredulous
but it’s for a reason
I’m certain that they prove their worthiness outside of Tulare think of it comes out
I don’t even want to die
about podcast you because you for a very long time now in a feral audio Network which is an amazing Network you’ve been doing it I don’t know how else I don’t know what the terminology is like the in in in in terms of sitcoms a single-camera multi-camera which means there’s an audience like there’s an audience here there is not an audience you guys for doing the not an audience one for a while are you just shifting gears entirely bailing on the Nadia to do in the audience that now immediate former validation so we’re going to have Dustin the producer who is just outside like a pillow for heavily with this thing
logical code Square 5 or whatever the fuck the kids use the dishonesty and like I was trying to keep it to 90 minutes all the stuff I got Tumblr messages about people that would just go and get it what I I I listen to your podcast while I’m welding and mechanical bull at work I listen to your podcast while I’m driving to and from work I’m very clear that part of the format was that the people that really gobble it up but they prefer more is a timely schedule then I finally edited Masterpiece podcast am I say something like that I know it’s bad enough that I didn’t like that take that out like I go back and listen to and our best are best like episodes have been or so
the best hotel room in New Orleans but I mean that was the worst is over there right now and tell her we’re not fucking door and I was like oh crap so I can go. I watched her cry constantly
I would like to know everything about that because you just armed a million
drunken Hotel fight
Princess Tiana has some water and like everything would have been fine but where did you pick it up like watching like Dog the Bounty Hunter
obsessively watched shows about like people who have been to have murdered people life hacking
start life hacking segment also secretes silencer
call David Flores going to go straight down the door open or closed button Hit the Floor you’re going to let the fire department’s people died on a special floor where the elevator Master goes who brought you here
we have no way of knowing if you have come up but never go down your own movie
okay cuz it’s comfortable and then we get split up until now has been able to get in there how do you make the guest real comfortable when you talk to them and now you’re going to have an audience so there’s challenges there have you thought about that
you’re the first one that came out for Christmas it’s like a red onesie in my moonshine
alright let’s focus and talk about constitutional law and Justin Bieber
he found that surf so bad Jeff Jeff what are you Justin Bieber very precious little I need a ride to breaking his neighbor’s is anybody else in this audience have the immediate to have a personality disorder or within within five seconds of those kyron’s are you upset about search and seizure are you upset about like all I heard was everybody’s laughing about the cops to the cops raided his house and found cocaine weight back up a million steps in the fucking Constitution I know he’s not American but apparently neither are we
what are you talking about oh well I guess they had surveillance cameras so they pretty sure if you search every house in California are going to find some fucking cocaine
given
Junction of the eye
walking government which is a joyless organization designed to govern not to provide us with happiness but to supposedly protected within the eyes of a faceless in human organization like the government every person’s individual life is spent breaking the law let’s assume that every car over there’s something nasty in their trunk if you go into anyone’s house they got stopped by the founding fathers put a little Concept in a goddamn fucking privacy we have privacy we have a right to be individuals and when it comes to drugs I think it’s perfectly fine for a country with a gross national product to say well at our borders we’re going to try to put up the throttle on the amount of cocaine or heroin or whatever then whatever the fuck their business as if you’re living in a country that has West pantyhose or more potted fern
because your giant country made a social contract with some free trade agreement with some of the countries or whatever and how’s the little bit of cocaine gets into your front pocket at the local bar
The Habit play some fucked-up shit before they’re allowed to find that says to the house I understood was that the kid and the house obviously he’s been a bit of an annoyance in his neighborhood I have a feeling his neighbor as well hooked up my picture his neighbor being like a guy like me like a forty-one-year-old guys neighbor is Justin Bieber and his like 4 or has had it for 20 years and his friends and dines with cops and is like this fucking kid
it’s like when you hear about like people who were peeing in a bush with how we met like there is a catch for sex crimes are for what is it called a thank you but then there are there on the sex offender registry if you can come in for free tour and then they try to sell you a condo it’s like
I was like he really wanted to we could have killed that guy
is an innocent simple way to get out your frustrations on the $20,000 worth of damage which is believable rich person’s house which is so sad cuz he doesn’t have any cocaine on him was that a bunch of people maybe him and cluded maybe not when an egg the neighbor’s house and then the cops came in the cape we come in sure and then there was somebody had come through a little little little personal pizza or whatever his name is.
that’s the only one of his one of his entourage is named little is on our side little pee pee Ridin Dirty on Americans get over there right now
why I pursued my fucking right to happiness my own property out of my house God bless me
whisper George Washington and Thomas Jefferson they caught them because they were fucking treasonous terrorists they were forming a fucking country where people should mind their own goddamn business and if you can prove that you attend a house and a search warrant situation I would guess that it wasn’t a birthday broke down the door without a search warrant and try to look at you and I’m sure and I think I think he was like okay if we come in I think you can come in when they come in and let me see Coke on the table then go with this so they can bust whoever it is anyways team Biebs I’m just I had to say no
I’m going back to all of Justin Bieber’s trying but I’m glad you know what and Frank probably would have been a Believer he had every right to
that’s what I think he’s getting he’s getting punished for just being a tiny douchebag is what’s happening unlikable
why was doing the big sweet pea thing a long time ago and fucking nothing no record deal I also want to reach out to him and say from the bottom of my heart I’m so sorry about the photos they choose when you’re being vilified in the classic right joke darling photos of me going
nnnn his keys lately he ain’t the house they found cocaine in those days that every photos I came on the red carpet doing like a Corey Feldman break dancer
can I hit my I love the Constitution as much as anybody but I do think that personal rights might have to be stepped in on when he’s wearing the pants with the crotches by the news what the the bells will be where they were normal pants would be wasted but the question is am I the heaviest Abbott known to man
Shopkin cakes Justin Case
let’s search her house she made a pun
what’s the worst thing ever try hard. I got to say this isn’t my house but I stay friends with an ex partly because he has videos and pictures you know what’s his name
can a cat piss him off that much because he has
yeah I got to be embarrassing but not the idea that your your illegal stuff at home isn’t safe right now
me taking a pee in first grade and all of the kids at the urinal slowly looking over and laughing at me and at that point me realizing that you’re not supposed to drop your underwear and pants all the way to your ankles
which is why Justin Bieber invented these new pants overlap there maybe
I never diagnosed myself with Asperger’s I never will have 40 takes too long too much money I don’t care and the struggles have gone through by by participating in voyeuristically spying on conversations between a people on the Spectrum on the internet which started doing I accidentally because I was riding his character that that that I didn’t want to I didn’t want to get wrong and I understand there is a patient and that a lot of people have like these tendrils these social cues is pick up some things that like like like like like like four other people who feel like they sink like a stone after a second if they don’t flail or grab something on the Spectrum
is Ron it’s the realization that you can do things wrong and not even realize that you’ve been doing them until it’s too late and it’s that that we all have of being kicked out I know that if I egged my neighbor’s house you could fucking kick in my door
images of slapping you in the back of the head and you have no idea it was coming and you don’t know why it happened and then you find out because you’re confused and your hero is Spock or Doctor Who and he gets to the bottom of thing why did that happen why did Troy do that trade did that because you spoke up and science class and you embarrassed him you raise your hand at the wrong time you’ve been wearing those pants for too many days in a row of a joke is like the most eye-opening thing you know that happened when I was in 5th grade and got pan this is funny to people what was your reaction cuz I saw some girls go through some pretty traumatic dancing’s oh yeah mine was in 7th grade in a fight with my friend Laura she was not drunk and not in the hotel room but I heard heard some of the deck and yeah like a whole group of them are like hey Lori wants to talk to you and Kenzie her boyfriend came up behind me.
a group of people watching I remember clear think slow motion entire fifth grade class
your pants if you’re like a popular kid we both were really hate it ourselves and then that happens if the slumber party Motif though because slumber parties were really even Beyond any Scholastic is there a lumber party your closest friends also the place where the knife could go to the deepest like I have my best times in my worst times at slumber parties what are we called them sleepovers because we were dudes but we you know we like like the most of the reason why you always wanted to have sleepovers is because you you wanted to be participants are you like the most joyous moments of of young life and that they like those spikes would come and jump up and down in your friends and you’re having a great time but then up my worst memories are at slumber parties where I’m suddenly realizing again like what the fuc
what about me I’m the scapegoat now that’s the worst straight out of meeting about
so weirdly University humanity and it wouldn’t get like I wouldn’t get like like like Downer about it but it’s something that I struggle with my whole life to be like what if everyone have no idea whose house is on my mind doesn’t automatically go to be so popular and rich as fuk the police out there that are so represent creep people I don’t like that like like like I do you think God there are decent people who sign up for that job but but I’m just saying as a as an institution like if I’m watching someone’s house get raided on CNN like I never go I don’t care how famous they are like first we have to hate the government then we have to hate famous people in that order so important
because famous people can’t yet. All they can really do is fuck with your brain a little bit and lower your taste like the government can really do a lot of damage with too much power they took it you’re not a queen
it broke about a little kid that x-rays house and then and then the cops raided demographic circumstances that would be all over Facebook is like an example of please like the country I’m certain people is called a non famous child living in the neighborhood or youngster like he is and you decide to do shitloads of like like Grandma like heavy duty damage to your neighbor’s house the cops are coming they’re going to come into your house if you allow them in if you go you go to jail everybody there a question and all that shit happen helicopters, because he’s Justin Bieber but doesn’t understand, I understand it in total that disturbs me
adds up to something that we all just take 400 well he had it coming now wait a minute I don’t care who had it coming I watch enough Law & Order I love me some Sam Waterston like the rule of law is what’s important it doesn’t matter who had it coming you can’t shoot someone in the face because they you know until after the loss I told you anyway you can look at somebody I’m going about that thing on the airline and I’m so fuck him know that it’s not fuck anybody arrested or I don’t know I gave up at my outrage I said they had something to talk about so I stop researching her drinking is a shit ton of weird after it would just go swimming at side on that point though I think there’s something really interesting about about hive mind and about
tallest poppy syndrome where it says it’s a it’s like a metaphor for the tallest poppies in opium crop get cut because they don’t conform so this idea that something rises above and it’s big and it’s it’s it’s more conspicuous than get the nature human nature is to chop it and so it’s that I think it’s above constitutional concerns it’s all so that’s the Harrison Bergeron movie with a kid who put up and I don’t I don’t like that hypocrisy I thought I thought our country was supposed to be about innovation in this house that we taking raising people up like is that famous it’s because everybody loves them and then we crucify them like I don’t like that and neither did God hence the New Testament
and we need to fucking don’t learn our last say all of that is a reflection of how much you actually like yourself and if you hate yourself you want everyone to hate themselves and if you’re okay with yourself you don’t give a shit what people think about himself and so the idea that if you’re in this cycle of like I suck I saw Kevin hates me I must be terrible what’s wrong with me is there something wrong if I don’t know about am I okay today you’re going to want you’re going to wish failure on every one you’re going to feel fine with it it’s like throwing a rock at the Moon that’s a everyday on Twitter somebody like takes a shot at me you know but 85,000 people will hug me and make me feel wonderful about myself and then one person goes I hate but face why you so fat and untalented
and of course I go a let’s talk about this and I got my eyeglasses and I want to talk to them over and over and over again that no matter how they want to dress it up regardless of what form they take it’s this person that is actually quite shocked in the end that like I would go what
they say is they going to leave what a loser talking to me what the fuc

what are you doing at like 49%
our celebrity worship is you look at those things if you ever go to like a Kardashian’s Instagram
some girl picked a photo of herself and says I’m having fun
kill yourself you should kill yourself if you don’t kill yourself I’m going to kill you I’m going to hire someone to kill you did your head looks stupid your face stupid are you shouldn’t be at the zoo if you’re a horrible person I hope your face gets ripped off by that animal I hope you’re up if I don’t I’ve never watched the Kardashian show I don’t know what these people do that’s so wrong but it’s so disturbing how can I steal a Mustang and hey we’re going to be going to harmontown and it’s like I’ll be bragging what’s in are we inviting people to be annoyed with us and they hate us so that’s what’s going to go real well I can’t wait to read the AV club a review of the documentary I produced about myself
that’s going to go that’s going to make me feel fantastic hey traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting apparently I can get out well actually, no one misses that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the theme to like to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blackstone up with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
the more Invincible in the more on top people seen them more than the more of that like shopping poppy syndrome you see and so you have to understand and take that was some kind of weird it’s almost like put it and I don’t know if this is part of the solution to part of the problem but I think what you’re suggesting is that a healthy person would would look at each knife as a hug like I don’t know that turns you into a monster is that the definition of a sociopath I think what you do is look at the person on the other side of the knife and stab people who have never mind the blade on the knife is a Nerf blade he just went fuck it if people are booing you that’s part of the act like he didn’t it didn’t affect him that way
you crazy I get you and you you you don’t think that you’re going to get 100% of the people to say nice things to you on Friday play but that’s it’s like I don’t think everyone loves the last episode of community 5 seconds into reading the praise of the last episode of community I started to get bummed out because the praise came in the form of this is the funniest episode of community events season 2 which made me go to bed and I’ll make it again for the rest of my life it’s too late for me in my opinion he drives by my work my relationship with strangers will never make me happy. That’s how sick I am I have to realize all these texts
you think that this but your self-hatred and we both have it in certain doses like helps people as a person because you hate yourself yet you’ve made this incredible like doing something you love and are good at but you know if you like yourself would you try so hard to prove exactly what can a lot of time to be filled by the need for validation so you at if you are like you have to let that lead you into vocational ambition will never be fulfilled have to then simultaneously somehow I might get some if I could go under water but it looks like some weird things like that while that income unfillable void direct you forward
in terms of the things you output you simultaneously have to do rise of your emotional well-being from your dog your fiance your aunt like you have to like you just have to go like I’m a person who can never do anything right for anybody so I’m going to always like until I drop dead like Robert Altman I’m just going to like make things like Woody Allen I’ll just make things like those are great because their prolific compartmentalize cuz obviously Woody Allen ever allowed people’s opinions of his personality you’re the first one
a little bit in his career there wasn’t a monster and he’s not listening and he won’t punch a mirror when you say that unlike me and that’s where I fall short like a mirror of it
if I drove a mcnuggetini video if I didn’t have it on fillable boy
my anxiety depression
I don’t think I’m crazy enough to be that talented that’s funny like I feel like I work my ass off I would have never done like the guilty always going to be disappointed if I don’t write this thing or like life to show that I’m carrying my weight when you have someone to work with like that it really helped that that that that that that have holes in their bucket because it done
I actually had a weird and I don’t know if you guys don’t know me so I don’t know if this is weirdly personal but I had a fucking the last couple weeks I had a really hard year because terrible years and if you wasn’t the one of the so-called flash flood of sadness because like in than 1 month like we just we both went through all kind of weird shit outside of our control and so I have beat myself up a million times for How I am not enough I didn’t handle it well I’m everyone must hate me forever if I send a birthday gift lay down like four I’m a monster I’m a sociopath I should kill myself like I should and myself at the zoo on the worst right now
and just recently like just recently finally was like I can’t do this anymore no one wants me to myself I just thinking everyone will like me more if I’m successful and have it together and I’m not hideous and I have like a show with my best friend as long as I hate myself I’m acceptable no no no one wants to hang myself that’s makes me more of a garbage person so I’m just like fuck it I’m just going to be okay with it and worry about other shit so
reply
where is it there is it there is always an outrage underneath every hat called when you confront it that the people go like what the fuck are you doing you’re standing in front of me you’re running your mouth that’s all I’m doing yeah I have my own issues but I’m not a celebrity blah blah blah blah and then we go in that business fuck off the fucking come down I’m going to weird cloud
but I’m going to keep doing it because it freaks them out so much you’re like you and I mean like I think about the people that you used to live there was no way to tell them ever so Jose is Kyle McLaughlin from Twin Peaks like was really sensitive about how people perceive them I would have liked them last the ins-and-outs of his fucking relationship with his self image
what it’s like for someone to come up to me and be like I love your show like I said I’ll be out front side of a bar like years ago I should have been like you changed everything and I was going to say anything but I would have retweeted Janeane Garofalo all the time
I think now is poppies are much more forest in that way I think that they’re much their their membranes are much more permeable to criticism and I don’t think people who are in this business has thoroughly take praise with the way that they do criticism and that’s a big thing you just have to like it and then about how old is poppies are more sensitive to the Sun and are reaching higher represent a biosphere in which poppies are going to get taller because because there’s not much there is no Cary Grant of the Year 2050 that doesn’t work that way anymore if there’s no news real
it is because everyone’s going to be possible
like you have to be to you can’t be this character you have to be like scared. I am like he hears everything about me that you need to know to be allowed to be celebrities there people that we don’t want to touch their people that would that affect you want to get her something from George Clooney like a little like I do you know when people are being vicious to each other throughout the years like nobody out is Barbara Stanwyck a Doris Day because they’re fucking beloved and because I have to be a polyp and the punished those people they want to Cast Away from the beginning like it’s not like she was beyond reproach like she was a sex symbol and she was world-conquering and everyone knew her name but at the same time she represented an archetype that was
like inviting everyone bile to be a guy that people really want to like get end and he’s he’s making it very easy for us to bike George Clooney doesn’t even if he ever did something bad people talk about it when I was a kid I met him before I was in a play with your brother if he does not have his laughter for the 50th and he was a big sex symbol for many years and a big Hotshot is giant movies and when we were like 13 cities on the store before I went to Broadway and we’re in Cincinnati was opening night and if you’re on the whatever the river river is there is a river over tonight party was known as local dignitaries and press and I kind of local hot shots and possibly a mayor but it will come to these parties and the kids were thirteen of us to travel to seven local kids that still.
kid portion of the cast of walk up on this procession and meet him and I learned I was raised old school like La kind of very mannerly environment what you said good evening and heading to do and stuff like that we were suit and my understudy with my brand new on the job from Philadelphia. You know like I was like working-class kid really funny to really rough around the edges compared to you know like the rest of us probably Irish guy is hilarious in front of me and he was first time meeting you all and just front of everybody has cameras for the local newspapers hand across his face absolutely kloppers is 10 year old and I’m right behind them and that he’s the king on and off stage
Eddie is a bad old school motherfuker it was dying of cancer and friend who was a robot Cowboy go back to your mama Westworld quote for nobody
fucking rent Westworld he fucking gets Richard Benjamin the fucking time of his life yet
what how
how anyway you got one person snapping to that by the way.
I did not rub your lamp Adam be quiet
give me a call anyway so he bashes of Kennedy getting the big modeling you in the presence of ladies do not take a high you say how do you do you say good evening in the guise of the cameras the press that were there put their cameras down and getting the rules right now you know he diabetes has scoliosis one leg was bugging a foot shorter than the other one like you came up like there was it was a status ladder and you’ll just gave him the fucking talking to and I mean this sound it made when he hit this kid with a fucking major okay so let’s not live in the Bat World
Yul Brynner for the future crime of child murder
the reason I bring it up when we lived in a time when we were celebrities misbehave that wasn’t NewsNow any bit of misbehavior is front-page news at all times I was half as like a paint pigment that’s like you can’t use to feel like we’re watching old black-and-white culture and stuff that you can count the number of celebrities I had a couple of hands dropped off really fast you didn’t like have like you know who who was famous Beyond like 10 people and then now it’s just more it’s more stratified kind of like obviously it’s just like I do my neighbor has a podcast and she’s got a thousand listeners which I think is very healthy and very good but it’s like it’s being infected by this old world concept of celebrities as a class
look like I studied Latin in college or High School AP Latin only will person in my class it was me and mrs. bzo she said no don’t worry about it it was just me and you know Roman and Greek mythology you learn about Demi gods and you are about their Zeus and then he’s got a whole bunch of people there like
and that is who you look to to learn like how the fuck do grosgrain and like how not to get smokes essentially but I mean it’s between that and like sun gods and gods of rain I think and royalty before we had media the kind of technology that we have now to be like so we all decided that back when I was only the radio and and before TV and then when it was TV there was a there was three channels and there was five and there was a million and now there’s everybody has a podcast and I am a YouTube channel we still want to classify the people around us a celebrity that we choose to to put on pedal pedestal is for the purpose of knocking them off in the glory glory is two weeks from Charlie Sheen would becoming the greatest thing that ever fucking happened everybody was just like okay this is fucking exciting whether or not you’d loved it hated it didn’t give a shit
different to it when are you kidding about that we have to cast are our gods and demigods we have to create our minds limited on time now it’s so defeatist because we have a million Charlie Sheen right I think that in days when media was very very limited transmission of like imagery that what we have that Perfect Harmony when they basically supplanted what you’re describing an ancient Greek and Roman society where you had like the mystery God’s worship Isis so now I have a statue of the reason why there was a point last week
she’s alright she’s all right you know lately it was sort of like it was gossip and soap opera all tied into religion it was Civic and it worked as long as a society worked on The Barbarians at the gate in the modesty is a man whatever I’m saying is that we have so much access to everything we are coming off of a industry where the let the concept of Fame and celebrity had so much dollar value per ounce doesn’t it incompatible right now that you would hold the third lead of Vampire Diaries or someone whose blog is taking off
Tuesday Cary Grant kind of standard it’s where we’re seeing is a sort of a blender of weirdness I I I certainly feel that way as a person who never wanted to be regarded as anything in particular except by a couple of people like I am saying is that there’s a lot of Fame to go around and I will always have George Clooney’s that we can watch to the moon and we can watch them explode in space and that they can Rumble you and you can be Rumble then the Kraken come come come out from the sea and startling ways to start like engaging like the townsfolk but also I think people see famous women much more attainable now because you can become a I got to thank everyone
stop looking at your life is miserable start realizing that you can be seen by a million people if you have to and that’s why every fucking day you turned everybody can be there that’s why you make more sexy videos I can exist for 48 hours in the National media at like I could like I can be no check has been all my mom’s yelling at me or whatever the situation I’m in I’m going to kill myself anyway I think I’ll I’ll go blow away is steer up fact, I’ll be I’ll be at John Wilkes Booth kind of its we we we made Fame something that you can’t just choose like the tribe has to
who is who gets on the pedestal edit ride get to stand around a pedestal decide whether or not it’s a holdover from the idea that everyone knowing who you are acquainted to money that’s the thing you know it seems like he won the lotto like why Jennifer Lawrence then some other blond actress like I could do to anyone and you know this is the third leading whatever the Vampire Diaries and making money off of that right and everyone it seems like an easy thing to attain I don’t know how these people spare after the miracle of that show is that they actually now you’re just being as cuz you’re on American Idol cuz of the fucking popular show but my God that promise of like and the winner will be a famous singer the famous singer was watching that show lasted twenty years was Major League Baseball but
America American expansion done like everyone ran to it and like you know what California was settled because we have gold up north to span of the better for it because it was only so much you can do with a pickaxe or a stick of dynamite there’s only so much you can get out of the ends and if you have the technology to point of Ray and just go scan the planet and go this planet is 10% gold okay I’ll take it. The planet move away whatever you have to offer it to me I’ll take it for free I’ll download it I don’t care if there’s no is that gold maybe the gold is limited but I’ll take it and I’m not going to pay you that much for it like knickers ain’t going to get paid for it and Nike ain’t going to get paid for it like
play clit those the days in which we live. So all of us people who want to be heard and wanted like like there are narcissists and want to go put stuff we’re living in the golden age but when I got money for it to have to now this is our job is a career I make more now that I ever did the times and the times also if you want to coffee creamer we had to pay $0.15 it was I had to look under my floor mats and charged her $0.10 but that’s the thing is it is it is that gold rush and it is it is anyone here sitting in front of us could have some idea that no one’s ever really had and then it is 72 hours and someone’s Aunt would be like in the thing and then don’t we are going to open your power
they’re okay you can look it up to it you can look that is like roast everyone is validation everyone who famous has a hole in it or you can look at it as we have a platform in a voice we are essentially everyone in like 2005 was handed a megaphone and it’s very loud and it but everyone has more water for everyone when I got a podcast I was the guy was the 450 million person there was no way I was going to convince myself that I was doing anything Innovative by saying I was like yeah but podcasts are awesome. That’s just all over the place but I’m just saying I like that I don’t think there’s an issue needs to be resolved.
Pono of representing yourself in your life and Twitter it and then and then you’re obviously following Questlove
it’s like what isn’t that nice and then on Facebook it’s like if I am so grateful for my family and what you represent
that’s a weird interview suggests that Jeff and Danny’s relationship had something to do with a schoolgirl Crush you’re projecting a crisis I have been for a long time not been confused with Jeff Davis the creator of Criminal Minds and now the television Teen Wolf the guy that makes shows that
BLS limo use the limo service or something and I got charged to another Jeff Davis what we started my credit card was shut off a couple months ago because my accountant, that’s Criminal Minds Teen Wolf thumbs down
my name is Brian because it’s sad cuz I’m going to Jeff Davis I am Jeff Bryan or to be David’s rather I’m just be there for that reason cuz it was a long line for Jeff Davis is out there which is not Georgia hardstark my name is Ali who was a l i and then and then and then it 2011 September 11th haven’t forgot if you want to remember 9/11
on my way I’m on my way. It’s like don’t forget the thing that people would call me a lie all the time and I was like this is getting confusing and then I started writing for a newspaper another journalist named Ally ourselves with Noe and she was a horticulturist in Britain into people be like hi I love her to ask about the two of you and so I put money on the end I Googled Ali would have been 0 search results call me and I’m like hi I’m in late I’m the chick with the first and last till fucking much but now I’m so don’t even know the name of a dead woman
how start writing
what are there tentative fucking per cent of it is about to be like naming character find everybody including the official MTV teenwolf fight confuse me with Jeff Davis crater TVs chinwo don’t you think it’s weird that I’ve never tweeted about payroll
I am not the creator of him I’m going to do a brief Teen Wolf you and I and I was supposed to go to be called when he’s not a teenager anymore
I hope I answered your Teen Wolf questions just sincerely Jeff Davis crater.
How do I call the Castor bunch of methadone addiction
I’m like online news thing I like sex
comedian Jeff Davis Jeffrey Davis truly just because most of the should I go to my timer
hey whose line shouldn’t be taking that serious
we better get this guy in the show so you going to have time to waste with all of that because I guess younger and irony not there their Fortune
sarcasm not their bag because I have so many more followers to think on the crater of
and I just got on just like that could begging him to be please set the fucking record straight on this one of people saying things I have no idea with the Time wiki wiki
what the hell was that enjoyable absolutely fallacious I tried to change it I’m not allowed to change I’m still dating a person I’ve never met I cry I created calcium Google Wikipedia myself because I was afraid it was just a dado be great but like
a bad person with bad values that’s what gets under my skin like like I’ve done some stuff and I remember I did to dim recollection of like wishing that I was like oh I wish I was because there was another guy district attorney of Arkansas Dan Harmon who had participated in the assassination of two kids who are walking on a railroad track and stumbled onto a drug deal because cops and drug dealer capacitate kids yeah well if they witness you the drug deal between cops and and and drug dealers and the two kids were just blown away and Dan Harmon was the district attorney I want to say our attorney general of the state or something like that
wow I would Google my name and I would I would I would look at the first three results and I would be like this fucking guy that murdered two kids one day I’m going to be more famous than him one day I’m going to fucking Trump this guy for the murder of two children with Jeff Davis out there and here at yeah but this is a deal-breaker if you if you share custody of a pet with your ex like that I won’t date like I feel bigger some fucking guy like there’s now if you Google my name it says why Georgia hardstark will die alone not literally tearing me apart for having that opinion daily I got there like
I think we’re going to go kick it because it’s terrifying and so it stays up on the top of the Google this like my grandma is 103 if you fucking she does not go to look like your grandma doesn’t get it but grandma
we have to get what you want but you pointed it out out
well let’s think I live in Georgia for coming by to pick up the phone
how is your driver
I assumed they were saying I didn’t mean to give the the hook man I was I was trying to get rid of them and you fucked it up put the pedal to the metal the issue
how you doing man I’m out of sorts I mean I don’t everyone who’s not listen to podcast will know I look like shit I smell like shit I woke up a threatened the life of an elderly lady today I go with that let’s go with that okay what was the drive-in on near near near Target the crazed look of a homeless person but the but the well well dress nice of you know a lady going to church and she was wondering in the street like like those hobos do when they’re going up and down the aisles looking for change but she was just making the most
Raven stare like at people and then like walking towards them if they gave any indication of noticing our existence and the next thing I know she was right at the corner of my car like right in front of it and and my window is down I think that might be why she was targeted because you know I can hear potentially
you think it was like because you was trying to cross the street but it wasn’t but she started till I go in front of my car like to make us as if she was like a walking from my car making eye contact all this time like like you know what’s going to happen I don’t know what’s going to ask what are you planning old lady but so Mike my windows roll down and so I cut around her and likes
yeah yeah you could have just done it you kind of had a great trip so you drove around her but said I chose I saved you this day and night but I will the future and your life yeah through in that YouTube video but you couldn’t get a chicken McNuggets you never take a nap I will achieve my ultimate more really you said that in a rage that’s what you said I am ages I have a problem with old people I really do. I will run you over I will kill you suck off old lady I said but I said fuck you under my breath and then I went into I will yell at you or like
I just feel I feel like there’s that like like like like we’re becoming a society of the video game I love to be able to end the lives of the elderly
I’d love to have the the the the composure to word my outraged like that I had no idea what she was planning like if it’s okay if I was trying to get the attention of a motorist you know I would I would make eye contact and then maybe just your Adam and maybe now the few word get their attention you know and then once they have my attention and maybe Sidle up to the side of the car and maybe stay and anything at all you don’t do do anything other than walk in front of my car right the second of the light is turning green with without the intent across the street I don’t know if it’s possible she was just kind of had like a demented like that’s even worse for me I want to kill those people to like 70 years too late for that man there was a time I got to catch up
short interview Valley in Georgia and I yelled at that guy until destroy the podcast for the guy like yelled at us at the end of a lunch for swearing during lunch just blurt it out at Tam O’Shanter
Germany
AutoZone in my most outraged moment I am not
who is the guy is not the most articulate has been overly particular eviscerated Bigfoot Lodge and he we saw he had a fedora suspenders he was kind of one of those guys I knew him from the old swing dance day so there you have it. The Winx and Nina are there any moved off and we didn’t leave the essence of the word for people like us that didn’t move you wouldn’t you wouldn’t know that usually your striped Magellan
but I wasn’t mad at all I just hate it and I wanted him to God I’m not going to be like Swift like which witch when I’m in a surly mood and it just want to be left alone and someone comes up to me and does one of those things where they wave their hand in front of your face because you’re not making it up I contact or they say like like that guy did like he implied that I should have been moving more gladly watch that guy just to stand on a on a spike on do a bunch of other spikes I don’t know how to torture works but but
play I just I had to leave me alone you guys down for that I don’t know
it’s like last couple we didn’t get shit done now we are building up pressure back there in the
I’m doing great I’m enjoying the show so far distracted by recent wedding planning
all right. I was just talking to her friends and Happy Cloud says listening to the episode I love Ali and George in joying there it’s kind of cool to have like pick Stephen groomsmen like when you’re a kid like taking action figures I got my bachelorette party being able to pick people for that and like you said bridesmaids and groomsmen so weird
so it sounds fun as far as like building up steam I’ve just been riding his high man I wouldn’t go right in that are we going to get married that don’t almost get divorced during the planning of the wedding I was going to be able to do it just seems like everyone I’ve ever talked to when they’re planning their wedding it seems like today
search for 100% I would like to think that everything that I don’t care about his stuff that are in tears and wanted to be a good one I am not going to baby out I’m not going to like I’m not going to go and then also complain about everything I have a lot of opinions about what I was I I have gone to a lot of them and so I want to make sure the sound system is fucking with ass I don’t want to hear on Crackle or a fucking goddamn shity self-written vows
I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want to add on any of the ship that always bugged the fuck out of me when I go to weddings to bug the fuck out of anybody that goes to my wedding it’s so I have a lot of opinions about that but it will go a little something I was a little girl to dreamed about her wedding so now as an adult and getting to dream about it from scratch but all of my really specific passionate ideas match with Dan’s and I don’t feel you guys will see just going to get weird it’s all it’s all very specific and Blake Works wave if the same as your vision
so you’re not invited to MC it not officiated but you be like me ever see it I kind of bring people up and then Dan Dan panicked and just went out there and just started roasting everybody and did a big roast
and then then I would have dolphin playing violin
so you were there at the wedding planner
alright Spencer what my assistant I feel like I’ve been slipping lately I’m not sure not sure if I don’t cuz I don’t need an assistant lately yeah yeah go get one right now I have a copy of a key fob for my Prius replace the one that you like what what are you an alien no you have to push a button I don’t know why I’m so offended by that
your car doesn’t have a smart key access but if he doesn’t have the key fob I need a new one amazing job if you could stand to gain a few pounds I like this guy I know what you’re promoted to senior assistant
I just became Platinum assistance
believe it after all this DND
is it to see the harmonquest animation which is really exciting that I’m terrified I’ve never you know I’m just a fucking guy and now I have this thing now there’s a cartoon of you yeah I kind of want how do you how do you feel about 5 I was like I’m not saying I’m skinny I’m staying I’m tall and fat not fat
why is there a difference in a 7 like and I was fatter and taller than him and I’m 6-foot force that does make sense right can you like to be sexier than in her mind but that’s what it is to be like trivialize your boobs out or am I am sore and very liked best skinny
and I am also a great cuz I’m I’m at marginalizing myself thank you for the same people think that was my deal
and then they have a pilot in in the works like I just fell into that weird I feel bad for everybody else

I’m going to make sure next week next week’s podcast I got to have like a civil rights activist on is the last two weeks we talked about how I don’t understand women and how fat I’m getting in her famous we all are the side mental note to my time
okay
water out the coast of Africa or something
it existed game something back that I think we’ve lost so many human Isaac
when we last met after landing in the dust the groups fighting a skeleton with orange glowing and his name was Lynette the rebel and he revealed to be revealed to the gang that Chris de Burgh was possessed by dark Forces as the fates would have it whenever I was also also happened to reveal a cure to the heroes the mythical mystical Tara got a virtue then Chris de Burgh started shooting lasers all over the place in mole had to restrain him deathly crapping of crafting a Muslim manacle then Court took off the muzzle to make out with the possessed the road which was admittedly terrible idea and in return received a mouth full of vomit appetite stated the party departed for torment or the city of Unshackled dead but who was this mysterious killed him and why did he
weekly drop his language it hisses within 5 minutes of meeting and why did his hands glow with an orange light will find out probably not I doubt it
how drunk are you asking me why do I do that that’s like he that was like the hearing like what you did but then too so
Trisha who’s Trisha do we need a Christian priest that was an IB Chris de Burgh yes yes no no I mean I’m fine I sent you I sent motive on him his eyes are glowing with rage
do do we find even a man of virtue that’s a weird thing to ask me it’s the person who’s afflicted by it said he’d take you to the Bone stages up. Whenever the rebel speaks up I’m taking you to the bones they just now going to work all that sounds good alright reminded of the hazy monochromatic look of the the monochromatic look of the Shadow plant
by several Darkrai pillars in massive curved bones stab out of the ground like Teeth Shadow play funny what you come to call home when you’ve been so far
ain’t that the truth never thought I’d miss the shadow player
do you know what the fuck I swear to God I’d like the last week I was just I just I don’t know what happened tell me about the ages who are they they they they they see the future they know stuff they’re like bone sages why is people who did visor they advised the Magister for Montour Court decide who’s Lynette when did we meet her I I don’t know what Emily stop pissing and they started speaking and he’s here to help us
I was just saying that you know I’m a skeleton but I’m not a bad guy but their skeletons down here that are bad guy for sure I mean I haven’t eaten your faces there have you tried in which case you would invoke my fucking rage
Giant and I’m here motherfuker
you eat it you are so much more pleasant just 5 minutes ago
you got a cup of coffee I’m confused you’re thankful that I’m your friend
not the other way around traffic you’re lucky you don’t remember what happened five minutes ago to the make it his fault what’s an alcoholic I’m going to tell you something I don’t feel like I could tell other people I’m an alcoholic
and Ira comes with all kinds of behaviors that
I’m sorry that’s that’s okay but don’t fuck with me
don’t assert dominance over mate
what you do you just you just implied a minute ago that I’m fortunate that you haven’t eaten my face don’t deny it said how do I know you’re on our side because because if I weren’t so I might eat your face I just want to correct that if you weren’t you would try to eat my face
asterisk you’d fail
as so many have before because I’m a fucking bad-ass
Geneva not real life
shopping list put this to the test informative tour as we go in search of the Paragon of virtue to save Chris de Burgh from his possession alright it’s not alright alright okay I was drunk last week and I’m sorry
you know what I want one I’m a little drunk this week
I’m not helping I’m Stover what’s your name just like
let’s both be thankful that we’re friends equal
here’s how you know if I wasn’t your friend your face if you hate how many how many zombies would have been your friend type beat you in the face the pain and meeting you there cuz none of those zombies were your friends and I use my fingers to do like the walking up spider motion up his arm to a shoulder I slap it away I just want to clarify here’s where our clothes are the culture Gap in the movies when they condition where you want to eat. Eating dirt and rocks it’s a badass thing to say I wanted to kill you you’d already be dead that’s how I interpreted that
Game of Thrones
all right okay I tried to stop her from eating dinner with one F in the direction of tormato tour I leave them I want to get some shit done today in fact I sign in original song called Don’t eat dirt
it’s awesome singing take my word for it doesn’t matter if I like it
if you take minerals are all ready to go
take that bullet invited
and anyways it’s awesome or no matter what you’re wrong now you can’t wait
so now we now eat now we dance
show me my face
I I run up to work and I’m also trying to stay on task okay never said he was going to eat my face. He said that I tried it your face and your face on your side you guys have I tried to eat near at your face I don’t know, Undead activity that your face the very normal among them pull another size I got look at one of my trap is being he’s in one of his episodes right now go up there and try to eat I lay down I lay down I lay down with my hands under my back and I could pretend
we’re not friends I want to go through the motions Christopher acid on your face
Christopher has a strobe
snap me dream what does never mean
what does it mean are you drunk
straight on the floor and threatens things to happen to you know you did
I get up and I follow Laverne
Glenn Neville
whenever we close to tormod. I stopped walking to see all the time. Let’s do it now okay but it’s during any of that time price
Bryson pressing hate page cuz we might need it for what’s coming up I don’t like people telling me you didn’t say anything first heard about Dungeons & Dragons or harmontown
I may go into my parents liquor cabinet
play you have to be blackout drunk supplies that are the casting spells in the area
you know Justin Bieber
I buy Fruity Pebbles I go home
constitutions in Terre Haute
constitutional
protect you from search and seizure
benefis
you missed
going to get back on track let’s get on track OK Google playing what somebody says they’re going to eat my face
recorded everyone on Reddit is going to agree with me
right away that that skeleton talk to me
I said are you are you friends and he said oh my body to sober people or hurt just what I heard if I wasn’t your friend say that he said that’s what he said that’s what you heard because you’re a fucking paranoid lunatic
play wasn’t your friend I’d be eating okay I said I told you four times and he said how do we know we can trust you as well have I tried to eat your face I got no
I don’t accept that socialist crazy Undead monstrosity
do you separate yourself from the other end of people who would absolutely try to hit your face or you’re working this shift right throat am I
is it fucking try motherfuker what the fuck
talk about gender neutrality everybody
everybody’s not everybody’s on your team right now take it easy. You right now
midnight tonight by the way
we don’t go home
replay gnd until this shit is fucking like settled goddamn Undead Maniac I’m supposed to accept that from him but guess what I’m sure I’ve been stopped by a giant I didn’t take it from them and I don’t take a shit from anybody being a weirdo weirdo weirdo to meet these other guys trying to help Chris de Burgh in unpossessed I think all right all right
forward and hey just so you know I’m happy to be with you right now
how you know we’re friends
Hangouts been here IHOP on top of her Sharpie would you like to hop on top of my horse
IHOP on the back of the horse you know how do you know Christ
IHOP on your heart I have a brown coat over falling at this point I’m worried about this is all fucked up now if this guy is being a real dick I’m just trying to help you I’ve been I’ve been
I go I go up to him
what
what do you mean what
he’s just now
show me my friends with you like that out into the air party people don’t do that are fucking friends you don’t eat dick you don’t fucking do that shit he he he he
he stabs you in the face
funny
he doesn’t he doesn’t know what does blowing a douchebag to me
my baser instincts is happening is he saying all this were missing me plenty of time.
in ways that he has never imagined
Chris de Burgh head spins around vomiting all the way 360 Degrees misdemeanor he sure did and I say to him
and I want you to know that I have the skill of
I say to him look
let’s not fight you initiated literally the last
perpetuated
are you going to stab me in the Facebook
keep you alive
weird Minaj
I’m cool if your cool
cliffhanger
so you’re coming to Hermantown everybody we almost got something done entiendes
especially Christian how is Georgia everyone ever coming
stroller

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