Episode: 87 – Kiss Doesn’t Get The Joke

Episode

Episode: 87 – Kiss Doesn’t Get The Joke

Description

Guest Comptroller Mitch Hurwitz does his best to help Mayor Harmon and Kumail Nanjiani ridicule Rob Schrab as he tries to celebrate 20 years of his comic book SCUD: The Disposable Assassin. In D&D, Sharpie and Laan-ev go to blows.

Transcript

the temporary comptroller here in hotpad harmontown is that what the guy’s name is Dan Harmon I understand well I want you to give it up if he’s not even backstage yet
so don’t give it up I guess just hang on to it and get ready to say hello to the mayor of harmontown Harmon
thank you
thank you guess comptroller Mitch hurwitz thank you thank you very much I’m sorry I didn’t know that you didn’t know but for some reason I always come up through the night. I don’t know much about anything. I was listening to harmontown on the way over to kind of preparer in the back room and I didn’t realize you were this is
do people elect to listen to this Fame and more stuff to listen to Dan doesn’t like people to know this part of it but we started our rehearsal early today we did this is one and I hope I remember everything yeah it is it is the only thing that I asked about you.
so sorry to keep a secret is the amount of preparation that goes into the show but yes I find it uncharismatic I like to pretend that we stay in the moment here at the show I left groom than the normal comptroller 10% yeah he’s very Dapper and actually maybe later we can talk about some grooming ideas for me because I just I just looked in the mirror on the way out here and I thought I might be too old for this hairstyle
might have
some sexy make it grow it out into a big old poofy thing as those are the only two things I can imagine how I really got to talk to you about this have the whole show be you and I just blowing each other but you’re a very handsome man take off my shirt and I want to show you wow and wow I met you because I assumed from how talented you were that you must have been developed for some reason to be prepared for anything I just pictured this mountain of a man
I think that’s. I know that’s a compliment and I don’t I don’t feel like saying thank you I pictured David mail just being slightly less thorough Vince Gilligan is being automatically assume if people are that are that talented that they open that’s very nice when you get in there I do remember when I met you I think the first thing I said so as not to scare you off with them it was because you were like an oily Salve on my gaming loans
I do not like approachable vacation I think like okay I’m a bad person in this way that way that way so as long as nobody guy that made Arrested Development is fatter and more of an asshole that makes that put me on a magnet like if you’d like to try it for five minutes I’ll be like in the Niles to your Frasier there are old by vice president is up to his old tricks again Quail I haven’t I haven’t seen a paper in a while
health health care is at an all-time health
no don’t you agree bulshit Man 3 set I took a bath today
thank you
new I am in big water displacement guy right anyhow you’re a whole you’re out like you do I make the water care about you and I love taking bubble baths but Aaron bought me for my birthday a waterproof iPad sleeve it’s like a plastic plastic bag sure that seals but the plastic is made out of a material that allows for your wet soapy fingers pinch and zoom and tap double tap and you got just a cuz I missed a couple shows but you got her a diamond ring and she wasn’t there a fire call there was like a big large
iPad case of husband for sure
she’s ahead she’s a more generous person than me no matter how much I would ever give her anything I don’t submerge it it’s not like there’s not like a picture on the cover of like an Asian girl in a pool like like with goggles like smiling at a picture of a fish on the iPad under the water get under it but the big difference is
this is a thing that you put on your iPad if you dropped it you definitely just grabbed and fish it out
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out while actually. But you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and blackston amount each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film earth like a verb you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
about about my life who sings please keep me going hot soapy bath and I guess people who say like I was disappointed in last night’s episode and I just got
I feel it feels like I took a bath with my
in my heart or something whenever I would I would I would get out when I I haven’t tweeted in awhile right or what somebody might be saying hey could show last night I was able to get off my ass. I was I was disappointed in last night’s episode don’t say anything just take a bath if you agree
and then I miss it. Sorry I missed the end of the soapy water and I twisted I’m taking a bath I took a picture of myself taking a bath the world because I had never used it again so I took the longest was satisfying bass great you could have watched you could have watch like show up on your iPad it just really just dug it just enjoyed it and relax cuz you love the Holocaust right was my view
is showing is that it’s a who rob schrab is coming out later today very funny comic book about if I stop taking baths when I realized which is late in life I mean I was in my late twenties when I realized that the penis floats
add
for those of you I guess who are women
or under 29
and I didn’t like I don’t like seeing it in there in the Bible’s
embarrass me I’m sorry to say that I do not have that problem might might buy balls float out of it it’s a very first I’ve heard great things if there was no such thing as she is like size of stuff yeah that way I would look at it as Darwin I would go if this is a very odd that I think in the world of saber-toothed tigers is like that’s valuable time I look at that as I can buy that is is are the balls because if you think of and their unwieldy and then well I think they’re all alone wield a mean I think that’s the nature of the ball
but you know why they’re on the outside of the body. Apparently different intelligent design design solution which Apple came up with that you would flog how much you hate something is a snack snack on the outside maybe in one of the hands
part of the inside of the body was outside the body and now it’s never going to be a problem it’s protected
yes and I’m always in health class if you need one degree cooler than body temperature to make sperm
my body is your new Jaguar as you can see it’s a convertible Grill and then
answer is an African really hard to see out of Solutions jobs God is not be less of a shit about this how about customer satisfaction and answer your email when you get a human body it’s not always set to Cupertino time it’s not it’s not that kind of
it’s a horrible I mean even under the armpit would be would make more sense humans what are short time with intelligence we’ve learned how to design things that chemically can creep 1�� lower iron temperature warmer is in my boot will maybe it’s maybe that’s it maybe they’re just waiting for us to discover we need a testicle cooler because they do retract again if you’re under a certain age or your woman
they’re always moving thinking around a healthy relationship enough where you’re just laying on your bed naked in your full Shamu glory and just just air drying after I shower or something and you bother to look down at your boss you and the first thing you think would be like I’m never going to get a woman if she if I did she would be so disgusting to like the surface of your scrotum and moves like a river of magma some kind of weird out there has to be sure but there’s nothing to eat here it’s only visually when you look down at it you have to see it you have to catch it in the ACT yeah and adjusting tool
what is nothing that has to do with me like doesn’t care if Community was good last night I have no reaction to anything stay and ready moving around and ready based on making that one going temperature on kind of getting ready to get ready for sex and not let these guys get too productive let’s distract them
I have to imagine that pants like like they raise the temperature of your balls by at least a degree
that’s interesting, thank you for pretending that you know these these universities they just don’t give up the research money for
you got to sound so smart even though and they don’t I remember reading that are sperm count had dropped since the days of World War 2 hours from Canada to start testosterone and it has I talk to a doctor and and he said you know in my generation would be like 12 1200 you know I would really feel like feel like weeping all the time your generation he said if you want to be around 800 and he said young people today it’s like 400 that’s what this not told me his name is kind of an interesting dude but apparently there is a worldwide Trend we know this is happening and in Asia right there having a lot less sex
Society could end it dirt melt aqueducts and then we had the computer and then we did these podcast ever becoming terrified in Biology class of biology teacher explained he said you know populations of mammals as they outgrow their food supply they they radically change in Behavior if you have a relatively closed off Warehouse full of rat in that warehouse the rats will hit a point where they’re conscious as a species that localized population and they will spontaneously self-mutilation
and murder and all kinds of very familiar sounding baby and not to wrap and I just remember hearing that and he didn’t even say so think about it I don’t think he he was just pointing that out about mammals and I was like holy shit that’s what we’re doing I mean this is the guy you know it is it’s a it’s a it’s a problem you know we had six billion what twenty years ago now we got nine billion there’s going to be one of them you guys out but also you know when yeast is deprived of oxygen which it really needs right if you put at the bottom of a bunch of grape juice it makes alcohol so maybe that’s our destiny
yeah that’s why we have alcohol you mean because they can’t date there they want they want oxygen but there there’s nothing there but fruit juice and so that’s where how you create alcohol let’s try to get you the opposite of prior lemonade out of lemon like you seem well you still getting drunk without alcohol still don’t have the entire Bill of Rights swear to God I found one typo there was one typo
my true self self self evident
and I didn’t bother to point it at least you know my ass is in my apps when I ship bills of Rights I do it the way they did it the precedent she’ll have well we have some friends here tonight I guess we should bring him out since we’ve covered all of the still friends that are first friend that’s down here he’s celebrating a special event he’s he’s my best friend from Milwaukee before I moved to LA the reason I moved to LA is because this guy I was doing stand-up an improv with created the comic book in his kitchen table that I Got the Feelin right solid option by Oliver Stone and so we moved out to LA because we thought that that meant it’s time to participate in Hollywood we were so wrong and so naive but thank God we were and he’s the beginning of my of the second chapter of my of my life he’s they he’s the he is my everything he’s experienced all
take all the grief and disillusionment and triumphs and victories from like the age of 22 the age of 35 with me and turns 20 years old on Wednesday which should make me feel sad
but it I don’t know I think you’d get to a certain age where that makes you that kind of stuff makes me feel good pharaohs and kings and fat people with rec rooms is to make something that last 20 years
rabbits wearing his disposable assassin baseball caps cut T-shirt is fireman press fireman jacket
yeah yeah
you’re all decked out that you’re a man of means you’ve got your own career you’ve moved Beyond this comic book you created you’re not you’re not here scratching for do I don’t think you got okay don’t like between us that he’s not here to be happy if if all he cares about is material things but you have an emotional attachment to the product when we were kids and it came out 1990 for seniors
and when the World Trade Centers came down and makes my ears look weird ears look amazing now by the way
the Disposable assassin
vintage on some of your chairs this is a couple of the first time you and I really do stuff together but this was the first time I like a story because we wrote some comedy sketches together you trusted me enough to eat you said like a right to write this next issue of my comic books the correct yeah you were the first person to learn that I’m a I’m a bad I have a very bad work ethic I remember a lot of an answering machine messages from your guy
tell me how many people twenty years ago and probably picturing robots that answered the phone but it was just like a tape recorder I mean every time I called Rob I would I would do a character and that everything was a bear they had to be funny everything
Ellen seriously pick me up at the hospital
birthday is Rob gave me a cassette tape unlabeled that was a year of all of my shity comedy messages to have a little blue rays that are technology I don’t know it was it was analogues it was actually it was more logical to do it it was like one of those
do our tapes you know and you know a man give me a call back if you could use to raise a shed because it was 93 because we knew at that time that African-Americans would never get answering machine so it was
it was safe for you know you could rest your fears
Loteria water on your birthday was coming up and I had like another like 5 minutes ago I got a nose like call you up with the answering machine or whatever or whatever and there was like the last couple of us are like fucking you doing
what are you doing
this is so fucking stupid why are you doing I thought you filled it takes and let’s put the do you want to eat tonight I wish you know I wish I wish I would have baked potatoes but probably 15 x to witches which is unfortunately I was in a relationship of the time and my girlfriend not a fan of the tape and I don’t
I hate you you’re sitting there going
something’s going to start boiling so funny how she was like with you here what happened who wants to hear what happened to you
picture making something for your best friend that took a year or something really personal something that was actually incredibly entertaining some things that have waterproof case
so I got a real something like a diamond ring
a big deal something that would be like saying that you want to listen to it okay I have to buy like a thing on eBay to play it yeah I was like
here’s the thing you had a baby a week and then one day at because I would die before I gave it to you and I would listen to it I when I went by my girlfriend’s place and it and I was I was I wanted to listen to it for the 16th time today in there and listen to my drunk friends leave a message on my old machine I just want to get whatever I just want to lay in bed with you and Lissa is exactly I mean my heart goes out to the regular normal psychopath person would go and do whatever you want at least give it like a couple of months maybe a year well that’s pretty impressive as your friend
happened go I couldn’t I couldn’t find it I wanted to listen to it again
and she said well you left it on the windowsill and it rained and did the rain damage did so much that I thought it was best to just throw it away
wow the year when you have like a tape that I can sweat it’s just disintegrate tasted disintegrate in of water should I put this towel why would I why would I hold on to this as part of it that got wet did you listen to the whole thing I think I smelled a rat and I said so you you you thought best to
throw to the garbage so I never had to see it wet
garbage truck as it’s driving away and it’s not the best technology really so I can give it a couple days everything except a lot
you are getting mad at me and I have the perfect punishment for her she is currently Dan Harmon’s ex-girlfriends I can’t think of a word and head of the international monetary fund
that’s a big deal yeah but honestly
that was really the thing cuz she actually felt so bad about it oh my God oh my God I have to go to her device that could handle ring store right I got it she just working so hard on it and her Mentor Levin played by Pierce Brosnan is like sorry I just I loved a man once and I
his teeth got rained on
I understand
the little do you know my girlfriend was killed by a volcano
friend really got murdered by a volcano with her car was her and I love you. Presents through the trenches on the floor of his apartment where he’s been living in fear and hatred of volcanoes for sexual reasons for the last 20 years and the only thing that’s going to break him out of it is Linda Hamilton is a civil servant
because she loves going to be running a city so much and it reminds me of how much do you love volcanoes
at one point he says to Linda Hamilton because I loved a woman once she loves volcanoes
there’s so much as a category of tornadoes identified that’s the F5 that’s the tornado that killed my father
that’s the that’s the combination of heat and cold
the Finger of God is a scientist I know the one that got my dad
Sharknado I don’t like this new generation of purposefully ironic horror things a sharktopus it but it’s no good if you didn’t get the joke kisses and get the joke
James wanted me so I repeated it cuz we’re talking about heat vision in Jack and how it needs to be played serious oh that was not funny because they’re a terrible about some graphic designer that has hired to design a poster for a kiss reunions and they made some poster that was sort of like I don’t know I can’t picture this in my head cuz I’m not like winking and Patriot what part of the story of the Gene Simmons did and looked at the poster and said he handed it back to the person that said look babe kiss doesn’t get the joke
you got me wearing the star on my eye I don’t get it man
kiss doesn’t get the joke kiss has to think with their demons with that have powers and stuff I did I thought they were scary hey man kiss isn’t in on the joke and that’s what that ended up being that’s what this isn’t in on the joke and there really are hungry
I want to rock and roll
I know I’m going off, but it’s important that caveat
rock and roll
I don’t know if that Beast balls a bit anyway party
okay they’re having fun all right you’re having fun with the baseball score
if you’re an army you’re the KISS Army Radio Speedwagon
the joke that was their big plan to fit REO Speedwagon we get the joke in Latin
enter the end when they were like 45 they’d come out in a big Speedwagon it was a big fucking joke but they’re like
REO Speedwagon REO station wagon come out in the grand Safari opportunity all right so
the Big Dipper
story by your wife who I just asked are you still married which I thought was just based on what you were wearing now you just recently married her we are all astounded every day that she doesn’t dump them me to me to Trooper she’s amazing it’s crazy I think that might be honest you got a real thing
cigarettes in front of her and she’s like he’s amazing and for that reason I will stay with him
he has a box with moving images on it as living room
we’re headed out so good about this present and I are we from the forward when I first saw a Rob schrab make fire okay
I knew that even though he could not make a hinge he had special powers
so romantic it’s like Twilight stories I guess I assumed
man of the hour
hello I heard about that
good job in a way I am I was just thinking that earlier today are you at I haven’t actually wrote how I really didn’t get the picture can I take that again
can I take that again can you answer the question are you a huge fan of Rob’s I before I met you I watched you like that quite a bit online
god dammit
all the stuff I just want to I just want to say if I hand out some good books would you on stage
I mean is that with you is this a trap
I’ve been sending you checks
machine compilation
I found I found the edits were slapping call that let me finish
I really like
cuz I know this pain was always so colorful. But who sell them in the coloring book section of using my dog so it gives you twice then is there a pop-up that really a jerk off later on
Stuck in Love
tomorrow I’m going to be groggy or what
how do you like shadow
you didn’t even talk to me about
definitely don’t tell them about the comic book you just follow the guy
funny reactions making fun of the podcast making money is crying
recognize
watch is leaking from their eyes they’re called tears
symbol of that species weakness
that’s what they think Flash Gordon Ming the merciless said that in all seriousness of seriousness
show me the worst doesn’t it does that make it worse I know I’ve seen him direct up close and personal on Spotify.
Did I say we walked in with you but the one that episode and it was fantastic so it looks like Mindy the whole time I can see everybody
and the words that are coming out of their lives
hey do me a favor I’m worried that no one’s going to give a shit about my comic book has been a long time
all right. You I was very intimidated Because Of Tweakers holiday video directors you just leave the set the time
I think it’s I think it said there’s no story happening during the commercial break
the opiate of the masses you did a very good job
this season I mean because it’s funnier that’s where the lab comes from
the audience come up on stage and tell me I should shut the fuk up forever time interrupted Maidenform you write an episode of a sitcom because then they will and everyone realize I wouldn’t want to do it
it is pretty dude I just got a text to direct an episode of The Mindy Project
great I hope you know I’m going to I’m going to
I like that bike Barinholtz he’s very funny as men do you know you’re going to McDonald’s liver funny when she had the wisdom to where I can do a writers room with Ike Barinholtz and then immediately grabbed him and yanked him throw them on the camera because it’s right on that yeah
it’s like a fuck you so funny turning more into just a conversation unless into an interesting conversation.
The weather like we should not talk about transhumanism work or get into a hole and covered what’s wrong with the woman’s body
Saginaw said there’s three glaring mistakes. I’m not going to go with the design of the balls is like
it’s a really terrible design separator
just have one big grapefruit one of holding two little things in there and I’ve never looked at close range but I guess effective the thing is like everything got to go to bed tonight so

what is that is it a detergent
but you know we started biologically obviously is likely to self comes around every logically comes together around the steam renault’s is basically the same the part that you would serve clip off beautiful worms and optimize the surface area to your rubbing up against with the outside of your body is just the advance organisms we have a part of the outside of our body is balloon animals were part of the outside of our body is inside our body
outside of your body and direct because as of capitalism
cuz I really love the show because it’s less surface area for the Sunday and give me out at like noon crazy Theory theory in evolutionary in our evolutionary history in our lifetime
the amount of time it took the human species to go from start walking erect in the amount of time that it happened is so dramatic the mail would you mind showing us tickets through the stages
it seemed really talented physically and I’d love to all right so it’s not to humiliate anyway just go ahead get down on your knees there buddy
Alex Roblox videos
no no no no no no no nothing about Evolution I don’t look it up cuz I had a magical is that our brains got too smart so that’s why you’re just proving your theory as you make your theory
okay well it’s not that
let’s bring out wrong everybody was going to do our brains got too smart for the back to be completely straight always figured out ways to start a go around us we don’t know we just agree about this whole thing about it you can’t get a straight answer about this there is no strong winds
the same time as neanderthals and Neanderthals they discovered were actually more intelligent like my brain mass versus body weight doing how you do it right they had religion first they they they dug up the end of thousands have creativity and that’s right that’s where we were the ones and then language and the written word and then scud the Disposable assassin feel like Wipe Out the Neanderthals basically. We could pass along we learned they they they they couldn’t find any kromagnum burial sites that had any burial sites. Burial sites everywhere with all of them like
item which indicates I can some kind of connection to the concept of death of cro-magnons were creating like these three we hunted them to Extinction I say we we hunted to extinction because we basically created like ranged weapons like that then be murdered. Also there is no Neanderthal as far as we know it they’re still neanderthals cave paintings is this is what really disturbs me the idea that it’s possible to be creative but have no emoji
is all smoke a football team going to one chamber you will do I understand everyone go in
and we all white he’s still has a lot of Neanderthal genes in us don’t have everything to mail everything including drone so everybody shut the fuk up
you have keyless entry entry waterproof iPads somebody put it on Twitter she’s just doing it to keep me clean like a dog breed in the back of that cage on the way to the place where they give you the shots
I don’t think cro-magnons and Homo sapiens were together at the same time I don’t think so
the Homosapien just makes it up and creativity tests and that’s probably it which one of the cars that would tip over the ribs are happy about those people and just you know the rape,
sex
they were probably was a single-camera comedy based on a song called suicide is painless. Patrick was always single-camera but sometimes it had a laugh track at in the operating room that was put on Kevin Hart
I don’t know how but that’s the most horrible thing I’ve ever done is The Limited
I heard
Home Alone elements into the river like kind of situation to them and they’re always calling a trap
obviously they’re going to do two years as a real estate executive Charter site 2 years at at Coldwell Banker I don’t know if I have $2 after Mash expected last night
I think I have a heart attack
call Jim Lee aware of it they know there was a show called Mash was based in the Korean War
okay okay okay to show MASH last 11 years
same same people cuz there was a there was a multi-camera show that they aired for 6 episode called aftermash about like small characters together you want to do two out of every six they were promoting it because they were up against the 18 so they had these promotions where her was shaving a mohawk off of a guy but his back turned the camera
is there was the presumption that he was always removing a lot of hair from his body has any dragon or was it not in the Korean War take place in the aftermath of the Korean War because of courses we know the Korean word lasted what 2011 years and the which is why Sony is always like so frustrated with me
sitcom that was you know you do I did I did some palace with a does sound like Chinese restaurant but it was the spin-off of The Golden Girls with three of The Golden Girls Don Cheadle talking about
Golden Girls and then my two
don’t treat me like I’m over here okay well here’s a producer something right under Lord
I have Jack Lord I was now so there is any
Jack this is the rehearsal right when do we do the actual so anyway they have the Golden Girls and the Golden Girls and I was suggesting they bring in like Tony Randall there’s something I got a better idea and the idea was $39 hotel Silver girls Dollar Hotel in and Miami and then they have to have to clean the rooms themselves but it was it was the three remaining Golden Girls with Don Cheadle of course has Meshach Taylor and and Cheech Marin know yeah yeah
super real Don Cheto
like this guy
he’s older than you. I had a good time and then Taylor who but then realized the black sitcom had to be in that case I think it was a guy but he was certain he was like like like like it is. It’s been a long time coming. It’s like you’re a white sitcom like we are together it’s because we cut white people kinda have no right to make to make black people you can make some dumb you can make them smart you can make anything is kind of offensive Right comes from sure red fox
rid of all all the white Riders and so we had a whole African-American riding team and they had a table read Fallen trees and at the end of a detailed
confronted with that entertainment along with handling money ends and garments and all the stuff that became stereotypical that was it was to the upper-class now that we’re not going to handle that bank and get all that stuff was like
the idea of making movies making underclass date lately go where are there nose is going to take me to let them go, let them go it’s like it was considered like beneath like whatever people only thing he would do it is that what you’re about to say no rum were you about to use the n-word
no that was real or not real Earnest that’s why he was in a meeting with Jason and as Jason was saying no you said cuz that’s not okay
I’m not down with that
and everybody just looked at Jason let’s bring up Spencer Crittenden
hey everybody can credibly condescending attitude and you’re part of the problem you know that I’d like to think so
you have the beard of a talmudic scholar around here there’s a lot and I don’t know I don’t think they have long not beer. I always wonder when I’m walking amongst them like do they do they know that I’m just not one of those at yeah
wait what what the fuck I never say never seen Indiana Jones
where you at
instead of snakes why did it have to be gold I could say that because that’s right that’s right that’s where it’s just
yeah but you can definitely yeah if you put a black Indiana Jones hat on a suit I figured that they didn’t have like long hair like you see that your locks and stuff but like their head here is not the beard might be reserved for like 10 best bites like really we’re in the same Club this is I
I’m on your side in this
hey treat us fairly and then obviously the guy with the hat too he’s with us or he’s dressed like a stewardess be nice to him
playing in williamsburg’s very Jewish neighborhood before it became all hipster places where a certain days of the week I don’t know much about there’s only certain things you could do with the house when you come to me on the day of God sees what you’re thinking of their house basically extending the boundaries of their house so I don’t know much more about our mutual friend Ryan Ridley he became very what’s a real like like what what crazy stuff about the
call Rose Hirsch Annika religion where they like don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t get any neighbors coming to turn on your oven that’s a thing if they’re not like other people who like I do now at 8 like I was Happy Ronald McDonald and let’s have a corporate headquarters and let’s franchise and let’s have
pretty low requirement for our friend. Looking just decide what happens to you how many people died at a price of the community which deals with your neighbor which it should the idea that you you and the people that live near him or you could say it’s just piggybacking on our natural proclivity to do that creatures right I mean that’s why you were that if it’s like anybody take kind of above your eyes and then says you’re getting sleepy and and you’re actually just looking up and in your hearing you’re getting sleep in your eyes are kind of getting tired
with that power but yet or if he’s going to use that power to make a husband and wife yeah but that’s but that has nothing but if you are saying that these men like and by the way don’t finger that little boy is like for that the same thing I said I don’t think so
I supposed to assassinate now courtiers definitely but learning Covenant in the Judaism when you’re growing up, I look over that fence and what I see is community I see the show which is awesome
Saturn dealer of religions in such a way it’s kind of my point everybody differently fucked up every religion somewhere like every every every house you walk into a place but I’m saying like like like that doesn’t make sense is how you know it’s real right you know you cannot prove this if you’re going to try to prove this then you don’t get it yet that’s fake credit card for Brighthouse better than then I demand everyone in this room realize that your eyeball was built by Rise up against it so if you get it’s like that’s farting like the hypnotist if you give people what they’re kind of doing anyway right and it’s like hey you guys are here so you must believe in Z new right if I
they’re here like you know it’s I don’t know I’m anti impulses people have a tribal impulse dictionary Hanna-Barbera animals have a social Instinct hundred people with you like not too many people in the room with you laughing at something comfort you can relate to it we can remember 200 people’s names and stuff so you you you go to your shul I know I’m I’m barfing up things that I wanted to remind Jewish friend when he was through his Mega Jewish phase but I was like
Cooler Than Me yeah then Sunday school this what is convincing you of that and devotion is a lot like you know being you know fanaticism it’s all the same thing it’s like when people are really into stay like a very well high quality graphic novel like a robot that murders people for a living
20th anniversary yeah you know last night I Rob gave me that book not too long ago but yeah and I hung out with him helping him helping him helping him what does ama on Reddit and I will and so that doesn’t help you get a sponsor for that even asked you about this
don’t go back go back to talk to you at some other religion thing was less controversial than I did not understand that religion discussion I’m sorry guys I must have misread almost to the spot we never got around this button that harmontown about the about the value of religion and I’m talking to some very smart you know quite possibly Spectrum oriented people who who who is very very justifiable in very heroic Lee like I’m very skeptical about any kind of religion in in in in their life and I never want to break down that wall because that would be the vandalism and I’m not I don’t I believe that when I die it’s going to go
lascana probably died I have no idea what’s going on is there a whole bunch of shit I don’t I don’t cotton to exploring that stuff because I think there’s a higher power believe in the very lazy natural neck pillow of going for now that stuff called pass Hole in the Sky who is like self-admittedly in all of literature A a guy who alternating Lee comes home from work drunk or sober and in either case might want to ask for help you out I was trying not to think about it and it happens that it is becoming more socially appropriate to challenge it by which is probably the only reason I’m even doing that because
Sam Harris and everybody else
shrinking As we soar to do figure out all those things that we don’t need to go with the pillow shrinks as our next rank down two point zero zero zero one second after the big bang by the time we’re debating about glue at the same time I develop in the blink of an eye if you are so we we with one hand so hard to articulate I have to be such a more sober intelligent academic person I don’t want any smart people to ever ever ever drink any Kool-Aid ever but I I I want them to allow themselves
the emotional and instinctive joy that is to connect to the unknown well I think I think that that’s not a religious that’s not a religious phenomenon in fact I tell you I would argue that religion that’s not a religious phenomena that actually religion tries to quiet that person is the fucking is stablished if you want me to man I guess we could do we could do this I would do American Christianity as it is served up to us I’m first in line with you I’ll do I’ll do a better job more self-destructive job than anybody I just picked a big crime is that is the mish-mosh of leg of the
you know what we’re wearing these crosses around our necks the cross is because there was this dude who mythical Paul Bunyan or not the story is about a guy that’s a great story and and it was a brilliant guy to the point where and who said the people here’s the thing all they can do is bully you to the point where you’re afraid to die if you stop being afraid to die they don’t have any power over you I mean it does the equations between that and Martin Luther King jr. are not unjustified like it was a person who would question that is a human connection is Winn-Dixie has crawled out of the sea if they could pray with the cross have like two you know horizontal bars because their God was a giant ichneumon so now you flash forward to these these mega churches where people are being called hey you don’t have to understand any of this all you have to do is accept Christ as your savior then if that’s not religion.
so I will be the first to be with nobody picking the fear of death Instinct as animals are about staying away from dead bodies back would get freaky also gets pretty good you know you don’t just defined yourself of what you are but the problems that we have inside well we’re right but also that means that they’re wrong so we should fix that and that’s where the problem
what is a real problem Point comes when afterlife and then politicians on Earth here now start selling you say to not even if it’s just by telling you it’s cool that you’re poor the poor you stay Richard you’re going to be later that’s complete horseshit yeah I don’t think that it’s his afterlife concept that you can see the messages behind religion that I read have to do with how you should live your life right now none of them say currently in a ball and a hangout for 40 years and then die by saber-tooth tiger and then and then and then tap dance in heaven with Gizmo. It’s all about the route the punishment
those are the people that are that are that fox things up for the nice people and ironically probably that would be a silly way to get spiritual Ramsey loaded with bad animals or is it just people we had very specific it’s like a hell-raiser kind of hell like you if you listen to music when I was Michael Jackson song is so good in your ears scares me about the concept of hell is my one of the smartest guys I ever knew my first day of my high school dungeon master Graham coming
he said well you know when you do your last thought the time it takes for you to sink it
is relative so for you as a dying person even though two other people you’re already dead your last thought as you die we don’t know how long you think it relative to you if you’re walking across the street
Donuts too salty but it’s you 500 million years of math okay but what is the biggest buses can I just say anything forever but I think you perfect yeah sounds like a very wise dungeon master
make it my goal to make sure that that last play
is enough saying that I’ve got it all out there I’m not a kind of anything I think of you as close to nothing as possible so that if it lasts 50,000 years it’s just like probably probably probably
you probably charge
you probably don’t know you probably if you don’t you probably just don’t think this is a heart attack
it’s over it’s over.
Probably the green
I can make fun of Islam
red wine
I love I love being a reservist
let me talk to these guys
well hello oh yeah you guys should all feel free to wait
I was hoping it would pretty much wrapped it up I thought we
Carousel microphone
critical are busted too just saying
well I do know this is going to be a trap
what’s with the fact that you had an open a pre-written opener is worrying us thoughts about religion like we want you to do
I apologize because you were comparing which the reason for that for the side locks and for that for the Rope attached to the house is about how far you can travel on the set of what constitutes travel on the Sabbath that’s the reason for the sidewalks.
couple years ago because there were 613 mitzvot Shelton Shelton not in the Old Testament and those are the most experienced their connection with what is beyond us and to them that structure is actually really good Jew blog called you in the city at the gym and how she and how they use I bet it doesn’t update on Friday
this is a rope hooked up to a keyboard
just waving
what structures are how they are how they connect with. And then on the other end you’ve got time I’m by personally we haven’t we have a very very loose very easy going through trolley in the weather
I’m not you said that more like
I was just going to say that mr. whatever they said that what we’re about to do with Spencer makes more sense than you know religion has a lot of friends of mine are hardcore rules lawyers and not for any given situation with God it is a religion with a monotheistic God which is what I I hope I don’t offend anyone by saying this is what the the Hebrews invented what they brought into popular use Ditch Witch is Which is it a relationship with one dude who was coming home drunk and imagine yourself drunk daddy when he comes out and then you go and debate
you really mean that it’s part of the game is it at a covenant if you will if it doesn’t have rules Moses maimonides who figured out the whole constitute travel on the set of thing people figuring out how to experience that on their own after the rules have already been laid out eventually home brewing in Detroit or maybe on you know that streets is parallel to Fairfax now there that’s a duplex situation
so there’s a high tissue you can go down you can go down and stay up there all right from the stage during the last thing you sorry what was your name
Islamic influence right
so you hate us
the Christianity to Islam Judaism I like that I like how messed up that is yes I have a car we are wheat Penny Marshall’s Joe Biden the aftermath by pad I think that behind say was I think that’s what really got into the Orthodox Judaism has its own religion that sort of takes influences from Islamic songs.
funny one this is I think you should show to be good and bubble of Life Organic the fucking show you bring up people you talk about what you talked about you take the good with the bad people wander
take me to take a bath do you take them both and then you have that you have a high religion do you have you have you some episodes that are me and a blackout drunk I have a gender neutrality if you have the power to go change the channel I mean it’s like
I paid the $10 for Spencer. Not angry right now about the amount of time you’ve been a lot of three or Dungeons & Dragons just disappointed
sure perfectly honest every day so like he he only gets this opportunity
I read it last night I literally stayed up till 4 in the morning just reading the whole fucking thing it’s fucking great
and a lot of things that have been discussed tonight or things are seems that the whole novel has at least pokes fun at if not explored the snow level very true what is a piece by piece
guided me I don’t know so if you love Judaism or hate it you’ll love scared to disposable assassin marketing
but yeah that was all I had a little kiss ass
graphic novel I don’t know
where you wouldn’t sit there from listening to his podcast
prolific
20 years how much time would you put in with this fucking guy not enough
not enough
I hear you I definitely do
I don’t know you don’t know you’re a child. Hey what’s the complete collection tell you just gave it to me I can’t become very clear I’m reading it right now what are we doing an ad want to think people want to listen
Amazon
fuck it listen to Doug and Dragons whatever I mean sure
I need to pass out the character sheets first also what character Texas guys tend to my girlfriend fiance
under the bus
20 years
that’s what he’s doing he acts like he’s not doing any not doing well that was
I agree know it looks great I am like four pages into it so damn you wrote this with a guy named on DeAndre there’s three or guys different issues or what is it rated by Dan Harmon Monday Carter and Rob schrab is it going to Carter just like some kind of name for the two of you combined didn’t promise you he doesn’t listen to anything or watch Community he does not want to see you guys be successful Monday is whatever you want about Monday these we purposely avoided with your name on it for a long time
I got some money because they were talking about
I’m happy for their success
so it’ll take some time to catch them up on what what’s going on with DND right cuz yeah yeah we’ll be passive aggressive skeleton
I’ll catch them out you know what let me catch them go for it are characters were walking in the snow away from the last adventure to the next one and we were being led by a skeleton with orange glowing hands and I would say is an inflated sense of self-importance that’s my description so graciously common among skeletons racist to asking for I just said is this guy cool we said are you cool and he said I’m your friend and we said how do we know you’re a friend and he said well I’m not eating your face I took offense at that I felt like that was a threat so then we changed
and then that’s the end of it I guess he was going to be some kind of badass so you took a friend and you made it
you got this
hahaha are you tell which skill is more important
yes I took a friend and turned him into an anime
Jackson Pollock a canvas and turned it into a dynasty yeah but not an enemy
Hitler did that with the Jews during the latter Invader is pretty selfish moves yeah do my desk is in Africa who have no blank canvas
are there really kids in Africa
I just I pictured rocks
getting older in 1994 to 2020 this year it is packed up in Africa man that’s open that up to the group anybody want to weigh in that isn’t how it was none of trouble oh my God I’m really really but the central Africa has been something yesterday that was so horrifying but I’m not even going to say it, John After Hours come on
Africa segment is harmontown are you sure I didn’t watch the guy I forget what he called himself but he calls himself like him and he said yeah you are right Google Ok Google what were we talking about
yeah I remembered it right now so that’s a lot like
but I guess it’s not all bad
I guess there’s AIDS
Mexican
Matthew McConaughey is so Charming he’s got a great we should exercising
I think we’re out yeah I forgot about
turn Spencer’s defense Camille’s exit strategy of Dallas Buyers Club wasn’t that clean Age Country
directions mcconachie successful ride I think Disney ever drive
today’s country in the 80s Country Critters and I hate saying yeah, this is his aides get the joke

look up a little bit over there
hey he doesn’t work here
are you working for tips just take me around the river
well I mean don’t get me started on that
you know the look you were giving right now
welcome to passive aggressive
look at me like you want to eat my face
I feel right for minutes
yeah no no we should I got to do extra work if we if we strike three more minutes I won’t have to do anything but I think we’re out of her longer yeah
you want to pass out the character sheets then it does it advertises their $10 it’s less per minute now it’s not that late
Jeff would never allow this to happen Ikea right sorry
so this is what you talk to talk I like to talk
is that 15 seconds skip button now
I want a Vision Quest on Friday maybe you know how flammable okay let’s Vision Quest have you ever like wrong like sense of what you should do when your mind they just go right now I do what what are you feeling
do it I found the mighty one
Jonathan thank you for joining us today and you already scrubbed it up
did you take mushrooms or something no I just had the sense like my car was gone I was early morning I haven’t eaten or drank anything and I was like oh shit I got to go find the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers secret hideout
I don’t think you know what Vision Quest man I’m starting to feel these people are going to get their money’s worth
so basically you needed an omelette in you or something
I just mean that’s how it started
building is called the house of the book it’s a Jewish University House of the book
the graphics I told you Jews were forced to work in television or maybe play Adam Carolla podcast if you don’t mind an extra 10 minutes or so
okay so I wrote this one it from the perspective of coronavirus the axial skeleton that sacrifice for the city of Unshackled dead our city is in Peril 344 most skilled Craftsmen lost their long lives today crushed to death by a castle falling from the sky does things just sent me to investigate the disaster and I discovered for living suspects among the wreckage that proves their Antics seemed harmless merely self-destructive but they became more neurotic As Time passed their leader taunted me threatened me and then broke into song about eating dirt
I was ready to leave with any lay down on the ground hurling insults at me and demanding I eat his face with some random.
Cuz I had no doubt that these were the cretans involved in the disaster almost certainly dooming our culture and then he called me La Verne
buy snacks
he lunges at your throat thank you for calling me the leader
I am planning lunch is at my throat
that’s that’s what’s happening cuz they don’t have any clarifying questions and get those out of the way how is it going for him can I shoot him with my mind you can try just cuz I feel bad for attacking you guys
go to the ride get anything all right when I go I didn’t mean to hit you I wasn’t trying for you this is occurring at Mid Midland Ave lecture you by the throat with his hands and you feel the blistering hot energy around your neck if you take it up some damn some damage hold on
just a bit damaged 7 damage and you feel an intense heat around your throat of these trying to throttle the life out of you
it’s unnerving
I’ll put it at a dance turn out a level 6 sorcerer am I
take a look at my Wares
magic and otherwise seem to lost my spell sheet that’s that ring with Sharpie spells here
you know what
is it a good time to fuck around
think we should go shocking grasp
all right then. Up close and personal I grabbed him and I say
shocking grasp
China is as he’s he’s grabbing you find it very easy to touch him with your shocking grasp dealin some damages Authority
it’s a lot 21 electricity damage he’s all like
electricity right now they don’t have any food I don’t know whose side are you on
Mega beer mind real quick it’s a can of worms
yeah yeah yeah we just find out the best games dumb
how do you remove all the bones from my body can I go golfing in the rain because science is still danger in pain from the shock that they could be enough.
I can rephrase that but we don’t have to do this
Mom
yeah he has a response maybe but it’s tribes turn now
if you get robbed his character right brain I’ve got more Rings character
Pac-Man what are we doing here what what are we really do what are we what do we know about Aaron’s character we know she doesn’t spend a lot of time shopping
so I’ll just tell her I mean I I warned
take the ring off
and I take the dog and move out
I think of my amulet will do that
you get to keep the cats
set me on fire
yeah but it but it doesn’t hurt though okay
I turned that it I turn on my Amulet of Summer and then I and then I start chasing the skeleton around yeah yeah yeah yelling at me I’m on fire now what do you want me to do talk to him for a second
listen to me for a second
he’s a jerk sometimes.
You settle down a bit.
Relax I must have been really hard for you thank you
so I you see those things he’s not really responding so cool
are you going to respond
pressure on fire
yeah he grabbed his arm bones
you need to settle down now
knock it off
cars ever going to drive by the house
it’s not having the intended effect
Bora Bora
cuz I’m on fire
fire other than myself. It’s pretty much a binary thing we don’t know when we’re going to eat again if you give me like a bucket with some water in it without all that and make some soup
oh, I don’t think I can so what’s happening is he attacking him right now cuz that guy is all right what I do is and I’m still not myself throw up on them and I say
play me how do you throw up on them but he’s not he doesn’t seem too bothered for whatever reason we’re trying everything everything in the bones would be what I don’t know why he’s not bothered because my thing is at the Spitta can acid hurts both wait a minute what if he’s already dead
we are the skeleton are you already down already dead and help us in battle we were not we would not have been in battle if it wasn’t for
let’s not bring about shit I have never felt more in my life like I’m in a dream then when this happens even actual brain where I wake up and drink whatever you trying to contribute you should just be quiet I know that’s what I’m probably going to tell me so my character you have to do something I’m Monday Carter
you’re a fighter and I’m consumed with resentment and
I would take all that out right I promise Siri doesn’t listen to me
so just give me this tiny little piece of information
then one of us because Rob is really okay alright see you at Barbarian with a sword in the store I guess somebody this or can just get ready. I’ve got a flaming sword which is also a lien on my nightclub
and flaming sword I’m going to use my flaming sword that I’m going to I’m going to go right down the middle right right down the middle I’m going to buy set them to become a bisexual turn him into Rebel
you cleave right into his shoulder and you sliced right through his arm the one that are upholding at all that sucks that one was already incapacitated
the arm comes right off and he takes some damage has some sort of hold up that’s not where I’m sorry count as class and dangled in front of those kids and then I
he takes it to heart he’s insulted so he looks it is dumping he’s like her gloves are coming off well they can put them on yeah you got one left this is how we make some mistakes together fortunately he’s he’s seeing through the deception in your eyes I feel like if we had to talk about religion so much he would be a lot friendlier am I right yeah I don’t get it anyway yeah he said that thing that he said that he said and then and then you hear the sound of snapping and cracking bones and you see
free arms and he’s like I ain’t got one of them no more
yeah yeah yeah yeah he does that and then he’s like I didn’t get to be the captain of the death guard by getting my arm chopped off and then just listening to people insult me while I’m just describing the situation I got it by casting a case
and then he kind of disappeared is he you don’t see where he’s gone no good no good alright
some things we regret
I don’t like am I kind of look for when we appear in behind Sharpie butts
glowing hands these change their glowing them they stopped glowing orange and they start glowing blue liqueur with a bluish flamed you dodged one of them but two of them plunge into your body and you feel just just really cold inside like a like a like a cold Winter’s day not here though in la like a cool place
put inside of them to take one- level for the joke’s on you because Dan already feels how cold inside anyway
please use to it I hope I hope you had fun doing that
it’s your turn by the way
so for real I’m not kidding
would you consider him a creature than you
we’re not leaving until this fight is over that’s it after I got the right that’s fair that’s fine I can call out some of that I’m some higher-level summon monster than level 1 sure we spell list you put together but you picked my spells that I picked yeah I’m a little baby and you know I do a lot of females the scenes work available not since I restarted you is I in Pathfinder
was it some guy yelling out yeah from the audience
look John Pathfinder
well I I’m just a phase in behind a space yeah but it like explodes outward problem
lightning bolt behind me over my shoulders
cast in your arms in a magical Mary Channel a lightning bolt of Arcane energy directly out of your back straight through his chest all regions gone into the darkness beneath behind and he takes some damage probably to meet you
how do you spell that’s the poster let me know I have a bone to pick with second order of business Be Clever 15 damage the process
is it in the arm now this in the chest yeah putting it at your turn I have something I want to throw to the group here
there is a problem with conflict has Undead don’t you think healing would probably do the opposite right now is it too late to be friends I bet you wouldn’t please say what I’m sorry I hope you don’t mind if I heal you and I do my heels fell on it
I have a heel skill that’s like first aid and stuff
what you doing wrong by Adams Matt at family Rules
heal skill is like like you know how to handle snake bites and you can set up bone White
what you think you can fix a broken bone
man I’m just playing it
yeah yeah yeah right like
Which Wich
reattaches best ever. I don’t care what you’re doing then I think it’s a work wait a minute
yes so you want to read
yeah he wasn’t a skeleton back on
flexees Avengers
I don’t know how to respond to that it doesn’t matter like you said you did it feels fine would be his response
this is great this is like I can give him do I have anything you can have like you have like a hunk of meat like a T-bone home
I put meat on his arm
yeah nice to meet you and I know you know my body and take it home. Home back in the flesh
hey girl, this is a fun game
I would like to find him a place to live that’s got an apartment
panda
mixed messages at work yeah we’re going to just
second
I have a Moment of clarity I have a Moment of clarity
and surprising and and I agree with the shrub I say you know what we got it we got to kill this guy with kindness let’s let’s bring them back to life and bring him back the lights
Moment of clarity I I I convinced him to be our friend let’s see here I say we got all sorts of tricks like this thing grows your hair
you’re going to and I know you hate the way you look but I think we could really do a number on you. We can do that so yeah you say those things with your silver tongue
and you know it starts to sink in a little bit nice nice nice
seems like you know what the longer hair might be nice
how did how does that happen how do we make that happen if we want to take you about the Baha’i faith and and
it’s fate yeah remind me to Baha’i or anyting supplies can you make a wig when you get crap at Subway in the pot I have a ribbon you can have the ribbon from that I swear to God that you’re probably probably
will it rain in kind of nut sack I swear to God you probably made a hundred jokes about this but nut sack is right there in my gear fit in there I ran out of supplies and stuff and I’ve got to where do we land on the Moon
okay here we go right there
I just read that in the night
love your nutsack
he’s like this is looking pretty great you guys should meet my friends
that’s right people
well it’s time for slow motion walk down into the sunset you got like so much
thanks for sticking around for an extra-long harmontown
thank you guys thank you and Rob think of you coming take it back to you have something to say about this stuff if you want them
please take them home but if you’re really not going to want them don’t throw them out and give them back to me because they’re Priceless thanks to Zach and juston in the thanks to Emily for saying you should know podcast 2 years ago thanks to a nerd melt for hosting us next to Danielle and scooters and Bitters is that you all are running and getting around here and I will see you next week

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