Episode: 108 – I Make A 5 Stars

Episode

Episode: 108 – I Make A 5 Stars

Description

Mayor Dan Harmon and Comptroller Duncan Trussell makes another sold out show at Nerdmelt Theater one for the ages!

Transcript

hi everybody
Harley Quinn
your mayor Dan Harmon
alright thank you
another big crowd you have been here lately no I haven’t bought a big crowds lately that’s good so that Yahoo influence those Yahoo email addresses so you know I’m doing a TV show for Yahoo now I don’t even know if you know that I haven’t talked to you I do know that he ever claimed that it should be like they agree that that was just a coincidence and you should apply for the appropriate email domain to reflect that
Jeff is in Nashville we don’t know why Jefferson Nashville just hanging out he’s instagramming he’s digging around captioning things like I’m finally home so fuck you and go home
I never know I don’t ask it if you know you know Jeff is you don’t know what Courage him
I just you don’t want to you know what you do want to ask him things can go to him with needs he just be abuses it
they said that you did you don’t want to don’t ask questions like a clown hang out with kids it’s fine but courage John Wayne Gacy that’s the thing I give you encourage Jeff Davis you can have a John Wayne Gacy situation at your house in like 2 weeks tops all right so what are we talked about tonight let’s see here bring up my Evernote
one thing I would like to talk about is the Uber ride that I had to work today I had to I had to drive it to work and I didn’t want to drive take an Uber and the guy sometimes the Uber app you see the black car and you can watch sometimes the guy is foreshadowing like you know you got a bad guy it’s like the black car is like driving around in circles all around like they could you just going around your house just watching it’s like like if you’re watching like a six-year-old play Pac-Man you just like his car I come by you but I’m the boss who cares but if I thought I I get in the thing and then you have that conversation like occasion more red flags cuz you’re like okay I’m going to Burbank and he’s like
Burbank Burbank is a p o r m a r t know that’s that’s that’s a fictional Planet First Bank and I got to tell you can’t have not been here long enough that you could like like is bourbon
and I’m the one I’m driving and I’ve been here for twenty years because I’m afraid I’ll get lost and if I called you or March so he can’t he can’t get out of my neighborhood he doesn’t know where the thing is if it’s like I was driving around and I’m going to go left to go right now I got to take to get to the freeway he starts going 90 miles per hour to Burbank okay this is the this is how I die and I’m going to bed but I’m not going out I’m not going to be one of those people that dies going I don’t want to die I’m going to go out checking my emails
to check my email and then I’m looking at it again engrossed in that stuff and then I feel the car slowing I feel it and then I I look up and didn’t feel get off at 8 that I got usually was more of that kind of like events where your unconscious brain knows you’re getting off the freeway it wasn’t really listening so I look up and there’s this exit at Burbank and you can either go west or east as if there’s a little Fork there you’re on the freeway he has stopped
SUV not probably not his SUV probably a family members as you V and he and he is like he’s not answer and I looked up my name
okay and he starts the car on the freeway I’m just keeps going like it was his driveway like a normal between that and getting dropped off at starburns Industries in Burbank where I went we went to work today I’m thinking to myself all right Carmen this is it your giving this guy less than five stars finally this is Jack. I’ve never done it before I’ve never done it cuz there’s this thing with the Uber culture where you’re like Dave there so it’s just like you the people that you would might get four stars the whole reason you might give them for stars I create his backstory for them and I’m like well then they’re fucked and like like like how is that going to help the driver should get more encouragement
I’m not going to be the guy that’s like knocks a guy off the fucking Qbert Megan outside
I am the one block him resolve them like four stars that’s enough for this guy he stopped on the freeway. He pulled up to the curb and that’s the nice thing about a car run away and he turns back in and he says like okay thank you
so nice thank you very much and I don’t know if that’s a fair accentor that’s what I heard I can’t verify that this is what he said this is exactly what I heard he said I make a five stars
and I almost started crying it as I got out and I fucken you better I wish I could give him 6 *
how to make a paper stars pizza for my wife today I tried you all around and make a fine. I couldn’t fucken deal with it it was like the guy in Saving Private Ryan graebel that’s how the Holocaust happens man connect those dots for me
did I tell you avoid the helicopter that guy what happens the next time he stops on the interstate that’s the guy that put the knife that’s like at the end of Saving Private Ryan
I’m at the food store
you’re right you’re right you’re right hundreds of people could die you’re under the feet right I fucked up
especially Uber drone that follows Uber passengers that checks up on their ratings so that you can wait there cuz I’m just going to give you five stars if you fucking pick me up that’s it because I can’t handle it I can’t handle the pressure I got off on it I got off on the idea when it was introduced because I was so sick of the nose Star Taxi system where the Only Rule was that you call a taxi and a big-time for you I’ll try to make the time at an end of you if you at all don’t fit into their system you can go fuck yourself and and there’s no communication and it’s a public utility in Monopoly over came out it was like fuck the police I don’t know how the police are involved but fuck everybody
but the taxi police turned on its ear that consumer was in control the people rule was being presented in its proper form for your favorite felt good to have nothing to do and then slowly but surely you know your girlfriend gets a uber ride to like that guy was creepy what do you mean
Jesus hid I think it’s it’s armpits are of hitchhiking it’s like our Generations hitchhiking like when you talk to like people from the 60s that was a normal thing to like just hit your ride it wasn’t something that would be now if you if you hear someone is a hitchhiker or is hitchhiked you look at them because the ideas like 1 out of 3 Hitchhikers in job in an alligator’s jaw making a swab how much are the reflective actual incidents because he is obsessed with fucking children like you mentioned a child if you mention if you say my cousin
I went with my 11 year old cousin to the thing someone in the writers room so whatever is going to is going to tee up the fact that like like like the fact that like it’s like the young child connection to call the Nancy Grace effect when you drive down the road and see a kid a long something will flash through your mind real like should I rape and kill that kid exactly
thank you for putting into words what I couldn’t I don’t know why that was traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, this is that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes relate to my own life so there’s always a little TV and the flight that is an embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
seriously on a board gray level than that but but but I mean that’s the comedic glib exaggerated the condition that were but that’s what it starts with people telling you that everyone out there wants to fuck your kid Friday and then that turns into a joke like because it’s like it’s in the Zeitgeist so it’s like a kid fucking thing about kid fucking is that it’s zero overhead as it as a as a as a news item as a as a rumor as a myth it is zero overhead it cost nothing to create that myth prophets you miss me like I was in percent zero risk high-yield if you’re in the business of affecting people are you if you’re an Advertiser because it was a famous if a child rapist
gets arrested then that creates more viewers to the news I was orderly or anyone want more for all my god did you hear there’s a guy he fucked the kid I want and what does he look like or how did you do it what is he what did he say to do it what it what it what’s it how would it look like when he did it
we’re fucking horrible people and we watch The Sopranos and we watch casino and we watch the kids are they there that every time somebody eats a bunch of people put their heads in the fridge is it perfectly fine for us to be stirred up by the shit I mean like golf course if you’re in a society and you’re happy one of the one of the biggest things are going to think about is what is this all fell apart holy shit like if you build a city in Minecraft lake lake like you start to think about oh shit how do I keep this safe from creepers by there I found it I put it I put it in terms of our audience going to do stand
play it by ear as soon as you have something cool going you know of course your next thought is what if what if what if what if somebody fucks it up so you can love your kid you love your kids like my mom did you six years old you taking the shopping mall I got to go to the bathroom my mom’s not a boy so she’s not going to come in the boys room with me I don’t know I’m at them at that age I got to go to the going to go to the bathroom by myself at the mall my mom’s going to wait outside in Orange Julius what’s she going to say to me she’s going to send you do it what she well I’ll tell you what you did say don’t talk to anybody don’t let anybody touch you because their guys out there that’ll try to talk to you and touch you and then I’ll cut off your penis with a knife
good Mom good mob I guess I’m like really in the strictest sense good mom like like in terms of like keeping your chin from getting his cock cut off right leg doing her job individually but then we are part of this honeycomb and it’s like now you clicking forward on emails out of the guy out there is a parking lot and what he does is pay for the key next time when you hit the keys.
If you don’t forward this could happen to you
can I take it it becomes a thing of all the energy behind it though as you said before it’s like it is driven by this insane like Primal Fear we have underneath us you know like people who are a tremendously afraid of heights like me like if you live with when they look over a balcony what they’ll tell people cuz we’ve studied these people for ages there is an inextricable phenomenon involved in the tremendous fear of heights that makes no sense but it’s like you feel as you’re looking over the edge of the balcony like you’re going to jump off like you want to jump off right like you know how then you could really easily I do fantasize about what it would be like to jump off and that’s what vertigo’s all about or a ride over to go to have the phrase but it’s just that that fear the people feel when they they can’t go near the edge of the
how can they feel like I’m I’m only a couple quick Bourne Identity moves for just and I know exactly what they are because I’m afraid of heights people everybody is has become obsessed with fighting children we are looking at children now and going like I wonder if anyone thinks I’d like to fuck that kid
that’s why it’s that’s why I see the day that it’s there’s something so satanic about the fact that the reason we all know about child fuckers is not because there’s some organization it really wants to get the news of child fuckers out into the world the reason we know about Charles suckers is that people tend to stay through the commercial break to find out about the child fucker that’s a really dark thing when you realize that every time I child gets fucked then it sells a certain amount of iPhone cars profit the profit of like big of Corporations increases every time I child is fuck there’s a direct profit increase the sidewalk and the guy comes up to you is like a
you want to hear the story about a child that got raped and fucked and you’re like yeah I’d love to
and he’s like okay great but let me tell you about the new iPhone before I tell you what the fuck is wrong with you every single night because lots of stuff has changed double is there actually more of this going on
I think I was hoping maybe somebody in The Other Guy a child’s statistician
which increased 200% but I would even then say it’s like wow okay to increase 200% of the population are used to be okay Socrates like if you read like if you read some of socrates’s ridings he’s like talks about like there’s some terrible it’s free on Kendall I remember like stumbling upon it but it’s like really spooky cuz it’s like Socrates like talking like trying to seduce like a fourteen-year-old boy it’s like the process of like I think that’s why they gave him a Hemlock I think that’s why they killed him it’s cuz he was constantly fucking kids and they used to be okay but he used to be okay I didn’t invent this it’s a I do think they’re like it was an okay thing at one point I make a five stars
so
can you tell me where the Japanese robots you were telling me about yes I’m very excited about this next next year they’re they’re releasing like the first consumer-based robe like with humanoid robot that has like it and as hands of the videos I’ve seen it mostly just seems to like dance and stuff but it has it has like a song and hands seem to work really well which means that it theoretically it’s going to be able to like go to your refrigerator bring you a a beer in the night if someone hacks it
these are coming out next year so of our homes within the next 20 years when you go to someone’s house if they don’t have a robot it’ll be the same thing as like not having a refrigerator or a VCR that your friend’s house it’s like you’re my remote has a cord on it that goes with the TV my dozen plastic doodle come out how I was Steve that’s it doing all fucked up but everybody to be like
leg leg so part of it like like this self-destructive impulse we have it doesn’t it seem like we’re in a race against ourselves to create enough technology that we can finally get mad like ugly aren’t we like a joke we all the movies that we write our about how fucked-up it is that computers are smarter than us and I are going to take over one day but every dollar we spect including on those movies but more importantly way more than all those movies we spend on all these devices and all these things I really want and this includes me you want like artificial intelligence to happen yeah it’s there I just read this very creepy thought experiment I wish I could move the name of it somebody’s basilisk is the name of the thought experiment but the idea is that this to someone know this did you guys read this blog
someone said Roscoe’s basilisk
it sounds like the best country song ever are you saying that into your muffled hands are cuz you cuz you could
okay so you don’t want you don’t want to come up and do the Roscoe’s bad Lestat at expert
I bet your bet I bet you know more about it than I do and I started talking about it in front of a roomful of either
what if what if we gave you an out and said you’re not supposed to know about all this and we just wanted to make a new friend
oh okay well I am
we’re at. Experiment is that but if you look at the direction that technology is going you can see that there’s a kind of inevitability of Ascension super intelligent cyborg computer AI that will be so much more advanced than us that we reacted in the same way like dogs so you could see that that’s where it’s going you know there’s a lot of that to the what cruise well you know he talks about this like a lot of like really really smart people they don’t say it if it might happen they’re just like well there I just watched a documentary today on Hulu about didn’t in this a professor who has died now but it worked in my team was one of the first people to build a computer and he was talking about how exciting that was to build a computer before computer exist it he was saying that went when you’re working on a project
as all right as we all are the technician you think of the end result of the project and you imagine that the final end result of the project of someone gave you a button that you could press and the devil you think would never have happened if you would press that button you should never work on the project and he was saying that in relation to having witnessed where I a i is going after his help in creating computers in recognizing their robots are going to turn into a Super Advanced military death machines he wish that he’d never started working on this stuff at all that’s really creepy when you see he’s not saying will these things take over the world he’s saying I wish I hadn’t been a part of these things taking over the world and that’s creepy
who are the fastest Broncos bad list or whatever it is that idea is it because these things are so Advanced and and they represent a point in the future where our intelligence is so much Eclipse by these massively Advanced things they’re planning their evolution through us and the Basilisk is that the more you help its Evolution growing through you the more you are rewarded which is why all these Bill Gates and Google’s Twitter disconnect of technology is being rewarded with money cuz it’s super intelligence is sort of operating through time and space and drawing them into its final existence that’s a thought experiment ring King in our where our souls p.m. that’s it is so many calling out in the back
show me algorithm
what are the
in the back that are algorithms are learning which I detected a Consciousness in her voice and then a disgusted man in the front and put our children are the two sides of the issue is
like what if this is glasses we have alphabets we have clothing we have we have things that children are born into they’re not they’re not we didn’t modify our DNA to improve our species we didn’t let your kids aren’t born with less propensity for diabetes just because we figured out how to balance it was insolent and yet we’ve involved because people whose lives you saved but just never out of their lives are approved they can continue to reproduce so there’s a there’s a there’s another Factor there it’s like as human beings we have halted genetic Evolution so we could sure as hell better increase mimetic Evolution we have to for the sake of our own Survival create a different way for us to evolve because we’re so in love with ourselves and each other and such compassionate creatures that we’re certainly not going to play Darwin’s game anymore on a grand enough scale to be in the Cosmos on schedule because
the fuk up the planet every every every man hour of work we put into the future it’s like we let it heal itself at least before it kills us all yeah we think that’s the funny thing is like we think that were the our actions are based on some kind of free will but like if you ever seen us videos of the weird fungus that gets into the Crickets in the cricket I want to see this thing’s going to let you know the video of the fan in the water and the reason they’re drawn to water is because the parasite inside of them explodes out of them and likes to swim in the water or do I need to leave you up top but it going to rain
that’s it so we all think the way an alien comes to planet Earth is those silver ship we think the way the alien comes as some like thing based on our technology but maybe the aliens just a fungus maybe is like the Earth is spinning around the Sun it went through some kind of cosmic fungus that infected our brains and made us think like man let’s build a computer that’ll be a great idea we’ll build a computer and then we’ll build a robot and then as we continue to build he’s like why are you building this I don’t know it’s fucking cool right and it’s and it’s the planet is so that the organism that’s being infected so weird where are the winning side where the fungus is we can be proud of them they’re going to kill us but it works but it’s part of us
he’s going to like home our hair is protecting us
what are ears of this technology seems a crime to be having this conversation without Spencer
sorry if I caught you by surprise
you know American solution yeah that’s what I like to do in my spare time really know I don’t know I was looking up that basilisk thing basilisk lizard on our progress from what I read it was it was called Rocco’s basilisk and it said that there’s essentially 100% chance or like that super powerful AI will come into existence and because it will it’ll kill everyone that didn’t help make it yes but it presupposes killing you means what it means by killing you is killing a simulation of you in order to find out how to bet save you and simulations of you are no different than you in the real world which I don’t think follows I don’t think
makes sense so fuck it all right what else we got going on here
continuing our technology episode Erin just texted she loves me with the animal screens
like a dog door
nope
did my dog and my cat can watch TV with me now
because it’s a different frame rate or something Adam stop at the sarcastic attempts if they don’t want to apply that means it’s thoughtful
Goldberg yes
take me to the air conditioning to fix an air conditioner
you know what I just saw on Reddit really smart AC when you’re alive Refrigeration when you’re dead
when you’re alive this is called the air conditioning but when you’re a corpse they call it refrigeration but it’s essentially what you’re complaining about the refrigeration not the a state
fan in that instance though I don’t know I’ve never put a fan on a dead body probably doesn’t help I imagine it’s more of a smell maker smile why would did people complain about Refrigeration tonight or anything they wouldn’t life people might complain about him you know like it’s spoiled well okay so like if you if you’re if there’s an expert in this group that can speak to this we’re going to bring you up cuz I want it cuz I don’t want to just Babble about this and I have a bunch of people but here’s a here’s what I understand what a dump everything might head out into the table cathode ray tube television when you film them like sometimes is that flickered is it. That’s why I’m up in your face a little bit of vodka the cats and dogs
use the tube TVs they basically couldn’t see shit on them it would just look like when you put a video camera on a TV both unless you sync to the frame rate with special equipment you want a cat or a dog would see which is going to rest your beams nothing because I don’t know what the fuck my dog like bring up YouTube videos of puppies and the dog just sits are freaks out and tries to look behind the wall for the other dogs and horses that loves other dogs then we then Aaron took a video of the dog put it up on the screen and the dog that had a meltdown
also the cat like at the cat at one point we were watching kitten videos and a cat just started watching it was like this never happened I’ve had cats my whole life but what changed is the screen it’s all are a little species we all have a different models of camera in her eye and they all operate a different frame rates and I believe that what’s happened now that we’re not really paying attention to is the fact that for the first time in our lives our pets are watching television with us which was a joke in Scrooged to put it like it’s this is It’s a real thing now yeah it’s very it’s really weird to think that as we are approaching the singularity are pads are also approaching a single painting of us showing it TV
what would you say to be able to play with the game stay where they were going to take chimpanzees to see the Planet of the Apes did they brought some gems to Watch Planet of the Apes and they hated it or available
I thought it had third-act problems
I don’t know any lady in the back come on up Neil Berkley
I just do my own magic trick
I’m bringing up Neil because as some of you know by the way my whole life over something love it takes me over the I don’t float I plummeted to the concrete and then I wake up the jump sensation there when he makes fun of you it says it’s stupid why you saying that you can jump off but I swear it’s in one of my fireplace what is it could take it over the railing above a hotel
are you totally in control of what’s going on or do you just go with it and what it was
people do in their sleep if it was being in Vancouver there’s this giant bridge that connects an island and I got halfway through and I started sprinting to the other side cuz I was so I got a pack of cigarettes in like a six pack of beer cuz I was so like it scared the shit out of me I thought I was going to jump off the side cigarettes and the beer we’re just show the bridge that you weren’t just there to shop
calm down and it seems like an action is determined a few milliseconds before you decide to make the action so that’s really creepy to think that if you’re at the edge of a building your brain is just like you know what let’s get over let’s get out of this Dimension as fucking sucks and then you’re like
chocolate brands to make me realize that you may have noticed a lighter tone to the show
play something with better taste perhaps a little less filling and only 64 calories in a regular movie about me and he had a bad person I am and how I went out in the road and continue to be a bad person and failed to ever become a good person to harmontown scrambling to see it in the reviews are good reviews and good people and a crowd of loved it was crazy those the first time we shot here we had a tripod halfway through this room with no one in the back and now would block like a hundred people don’t credit yourself it’s the Yahoo deal I just think it’s like the fills up like a heart and then
Fallout watches them out into the world with all kinds of bad thoughts about how to live their life hacks
stuck it in my shit out they all fled to the rest of the country and ruin it
in a good way I know so we can go to the Boone and they want to put the movie out so on September 26th here in Los Angeles the world will get to see the movie but it’s going to be at Center family and then
and then many many theaters after that and oh we’re going to do it a day and date things so on the very day it comes out in theaters it’ll be on the internet to go to harmontown. Calm and sign up for mailing list it where do a pre-order where you can get that a bunch of other cool stuff but yeah it’s happening he’s finally coming out I know it took a little while probably had a three-act story in my behavior I didn’t realize how little we knew each other when we first talked about doing this movie
crawdads and maybe if it was if it was different than my first experience and I will say yes it’s it’s much bigger there’s more people and I’m really really proud of this movie I think it’s a really good movie not just for the people in this room are people that know Dan I think people can get something out of it and I want to say thank you for letting me do it I’ve ever said that cuz I’m not good at like gratitude or emotional honesty and letting me do cuz I know there were lots and downs and low points and even the making of them of the fishing in the movie but thank you so much

my motive was all narcissism and also I can profit if the movie is good but while while you’re at it as a good time it it hadn’t occurred to me I hate everyone listen to the podcast right now so many of them came out to all the cities would you make in the movie and a big thing about the movie that really sticks a knife in your rib cage is inexplicably almost inexplicable faces and interviews with every fan who do harmontown fans that showed up for all the shows there they lay themselves bear on camera for no money they sign a release form and that you know they flooded their Humanity into your movie if it was just about me trying to figure out where my where I put my Red Solo Cup down not not such a such a heart string puller but so thank you to all of you guys are in Brooklyn and Austin in Phoenix and fucking 140 people we interviewed 140 harmontown fans around a bunch of red back here in the greenroom you know
when I first came to the show I was like man there’s something going on here what it lets lets explain why these people are in this room let’s talk about that and let’s have them tell us so people like Dan Harmon discussed in the in the media before it is the movie every time every screening and I wanted to know why they liked him
I can’t I couldn’t figure it out but in the process I just got her some wonderful people
set against the backdrop of an ass-whole enjoy
my next movie will hopefully be about someone that I can understand why people like them I’m doing my bit where I play the victim
anything else that’s it thank you
what a show what a show right she really hasn’t it to into this segment of the show but you guys were talking to me about magic the Gathering early
the best
yeah I recently started playing I I took a I probably have 15 at least a 15-year 40
I spent a long time not playing Magic the Gathering
but I when I when I was much younger I used to play it all the time I had one of those like white box has one of those white rectangular boxes with your cards organized according to color it was so fun I would play it all the time I was so deeply addicted to it it mixes so well with LSD and then he kind of liked it doesn’t like a very psychedelic game it’s really fun and dark evil it’s an evil game you feel like I am I wrong that it seems that you do when you play it in makes you fight with your dearest friend you think about yes
I called my mom the sea workers playing catch phrase
Magic I think that seriously did they came to visit LA and they just met Erin for the first time and it’s a yellow guy he eats. She’s got a mouth he lives in a world that’s named after him it’s from the 80s
play Ice Cube
play Aaron was like I don’t know what I’m experiencing and my mom is like he’s just frustrated
do you know I I I I grew I went to high school and Junior High School in the Bible Belt still like I got to have like some serious Christian and doctrination and there’s something fun when you’re playing magic words does feel like if there were satanists in the world and they wanted it in fact the world has some dark thing it would be magic the Gathering. It’s fun to play and imagine you’re falling into the spell of some diabolical thing but it really is like you know it’s like when you listen to burzum if you ever listen to burzum you know Birds him is he’s like what’s cool about burzum is I think that’s the street that my Uber driver thought he was
take me to buy metal he really killed people he’s like not just like heavy metal he’s actually a murderer like in it in the same way that like you when you’re listening to NWA you get to fantasize like they really kill people like these are murderers rapping is like a Norwegian death metal artist who I think they’ll be out of your drummer
musician
like when you’re listening to him you’re like this is an actual rock and roll master
the second-seeded just there’s no drums and it’s just these brilliant songs that are the insight into a man who needed to work I needed space Sorry if the Rhythm is a cat’s I needed space
I’ma are you aware of the power in the region death metal as you know about this at all
is that is that I don’t know what country they’re from but they were like actually the Scorpions were they were
scorpion not just like content with being like staidness they were roaming through Europe setting churches on fire like they were a larger point of cultural point where it’s like America creates the silly thing called that lived largely like driven by capitalism which is like we’re heavy metal we don’t talk to me cuz I’m going to cut your head off and then exported to foreign countries and it’s like this adorable amazing thing happens where you’re at. Or east European like heavy metal bands there like they take us at face value of metal and we believe it and they
they make metal more important they’re way more metal than any American Metal band ever there’s like that’s what I expected it infected Norway somehow and they became evil but I don’t think that’s what happened I think that a dark energy rose up from the ground and possess these people and like what is true they’re fucked up man like the cover of one of their albums is from one of them walk coming home and Mike want their guitar and stir one of the musician is blown his brains out and in the house and I like oh this is the greatest of the next album cover let’s take a picture of this
they took one of the skull fragments from his brain from his like just blasted head like he would wear it on stage the necklace when you rock and roll bread
you feel that potential
you feel like if you came home from work and your girlfriend had killed herself that you might make a new card out of her blood though
I haven’t played it I’ve played it now what I’ve played like apps like on the iPad and that’s like that stimulate there were being invented when I was a tyke the reason why I have I don’t I don’t I don’t get it is because when I was a kid there was actual role playing which was a big deal to get your graph paper in your pencils and rhydian it was the Nerds version of fucking gangster culture it was like you’re not supposed to understand it fuck you supposed to intimidate you it’s supposed to feel dance and impenetrable if anyone looked over your shoulder while you’re drawing something you’re supposed to go like you psycho
because that’s why I’m designing a spell but it’s one of those three you know what it’s like I’m researching Dungeons and honey I just think it was just like it was the hay day it was like where the internet was barely existed and I just like I would go to gym class and sit in the corner and close my eyes and meditate about Dungeons and every once in a while a ball with hit me in the head
bad but it was worth it because the gym teacher was like all right see cuz then I got to figure out how do I fix you
get out of here at your weird that you sit in the corner and get hit in the head with a ball maybe that’ll be a sport Monday to the car and it’s like to me I’m 41 I’m like cards you got to get started talk it we got to get past the ban you ask you because it’s it’s
here’s one thing people don’t realize about magic the Gathering and the fact that I said that in my life means that I should move out of the country and become a monk to Norwood maybe so that’s interesting about the game as you can really express yourself through the deck you construct and the cards that you play you can really create a deck it is so vicious and Conte and awful but it’s actually evil like you can really create evil like you have do I have but I have gotten in the worst fights of my life with my girlfriend card beats this car that is correct. That and you decided that you wanted this deck to slowly remove your opponent’s cards to slowly
disintegrate your opponent’s hopes he’ll like create like bad bad results that involve argument after argument you made that thing like you brought that Darkness into the world it’s really fun you can’t do that with other game it’s like a hundred times worse than Monopoly why can’t even believe this is like this is the musket versus Russia money compared to like how this game is so all right I don’t think I’ve ever gotten in a real like arguing with someone playing Magic then you don’t care about magic
no you just know the rules like what you don’t understand the rules that’s where the fights happened really do
cool game though it’s like 12 Angry Men when I’m playing because here it’s like I don’t know the rules enough so it just comes down to like what am I able to like argue well enough that they accept the rules I’ve been wrong several times when you Google it it’s like just am been completely wrong about the way it works but it’s a complicated game you do need you need someone there to mediate this that the rules cuz it is very complicated all right
in anticipation of a Hanukkah play G & D we need we need
Manpower Hi how are you
so we went we work today on your draft of Rick and Morty
I got these guys they love it
I’m not do you enjoy working for me it seems like it must be magical weekends working with you on community you brought me up on stage here and I was very uncomfortable but I think it’s because I get I got my head in a way that’s that’s occasionally like the dogs looking at the frame rate on the TV where it is perfectly incompatible with your head because I’m a shimmering be Cano’s riding knowledge
everybody that’s good at that that that guy could get grades and Jim everybody went to Harvard everybody that everybody there Albanese me
they all work for me or is the Candor that you bring to a situation like this make me feel like I should speak my mind and it’s like completely fluid way what do you what do you think the worst thing it would happen would be if you did that I know exactly why there’s a conflict of interest in the conflict of interest is that I care about how I look
and I see I understand how I look and So speaking candidly about that makes me seem like a kiss ass cuz you’re my boss
I mean like literally you’re my boss but what’s the most shameful thing you’ve ever done in your life or you’re fired
I was just talking to my my my wife
my wife had this very embarrassing experience just recently and was and then wanted afterwards to like Bond about like she’s like let’s talk about the most humiliating things that have ever happened to us like once when I was in 7th grade this happened and I started getting all stressed out and I couldn’t figure out why and then I realized that I got to see this is a sad story but you know in The Avengers the movie when Bruce Banner explains of his secret with I know I haven’t seen that I haven’t either
do you know the control it running things are at the movie that he’s like now I figured out of control it and they’re like What’s your secret and then when he tells me thank you finally tells them he’s about to turn into the Hulk and punch some enormous like space worm he’s like I never told you my secret is that I’m always angry and then he turns into the whole I saw the Avengers
that’s how I am but instead it was anger it’s with humiliation and shame with meet me at me meaning that you feel humiliation parent meeting that you would you would readily spout out something incredibly know it’s that I think that in some ways I’m actually relatively immune like I was having trouble thinking of times I’ve been embarrassed but then I realize that at a certain point of my life the embarrassment flooded over me so completely that I lived in a universe of embarrassment and that became the background and then no new embarrassment to penetrate
what is the put your gun down but you know what you better know I ship my pants when I was 3
because I don’t want you making fun of me if you do you’ll be happy cuz I did it first right you all yeah well that’s that’s why there’s a lyric in a can of Montreal song that he was like if I did to anyone else what I do to myself I would be in jail or something like that and that’s how I feel if anyone in this room could say something mean about me that I haven’t already thought of that. So I have to be yeah you got to shoot me through a whole I already created or it’s going to hurt bad about me but if you do I’ll be like a I got I got I was on read it once and there was some guy having a conversation about me cuz they do that I do and Friday like I just got to go away from Reddit not because it’s bad because of great and I can’t I can’t handle.
I want me to be listening they want to talk about me as if I’m like you do it’s like that part of this show that they’re they’re just talking casually about it I got nine hundred things I’m reading it and I’m fucking like what do people think about me and somebody was like yeah well as long as he doesn’t have another alcoholic meltdown
citations needed and it would happen is when it would do that people
here’s my citation if it was a valid one it was a quote from me in like Wired Magazine
yeah I had an alcoholic meltdown right lately whatever is it could always be me and the weird thing is like I had this like I was like I had this emotional response that it looks like when that would come up and we go now I’m getting that from The Hollywood Reporter they said this Maggie did this interview in it for one of them I responded you do with what was the artist Epiphany that I had which was good I just really need to know that I’m the person spreading bad news about man wasn’t you who was just was it sorry I’m I I think it was you just saying this like today in a long day, but I don’t repeat myself in work anymore cuz I think this is you talking about how you don’t want to be murdered by
oh my friend Kevin
the rest of everything I say is going to be me trying to figure out he said that he doesn’t care if he has roller
it was that roller it was a hundred percent sure if he got murdered he would rather that the person be an idiot who just happened to murder him then. It’d be a genius who like he’s like I don’t want to be part of somebody’s Plan and there’s a bomb in there you know but he’s also though I don’t want there to be people a shooting in a bank so that they can rob the museum and I get killed in the bank in significant he does want to be a pain. I love that idea though I love that idea of The Accidental murder versus the intentional murder cuz it’s like to get back to the the point of the show which is the conflict between Israel and Palestine
it is this is a simmering up
but it is interesting how that their defenses when Hamas attacks is real and what did they want to kill people it’s an intentional thing like when they kill kids as suicide bombers wandered into a cafe and it looked around in like all right there’s like 15 kids here let’s but still we’re going to explode everybody around me but when Israel kills kids like that was a fucken accident man we didn’t mean to do it and somehow The Accidental nature makes what they’re doing less severe than the intentional nature but it’s really kind of even worse like if you’re like a clumsy being wandering through the world like constantly killing kids that’s fucked up is like Israel with some giant
stop walking around the harmonium Spirit of Candor I was just talking to my friend Raza Raza about how I have complete I now I’m not I’m a Jewish person who’s not super in love with his really think but we can talk later if you want. Maybe she is that as as I as I learned in my more provocative days when I see an argument with everybody
play country people feel very strongly that never encountered before in your life, like I’m out yeah me too I’m not even reading the news about it that fucking riddles and I don’t even know I don’t know what’s going on because I was involved because it might somehow Splash on me terribly why you can’t do that you know I tweeted I tweeted this dumb like a simple thing about how you shouldn’t kill kids and pretty soon somebody said it was just over it wasn’t like it wasn’t so many geography religion it was just like you know too bad like in the Ten Commandments they didn’t say you shouldn’t kill kids that was the tweet and somebody really quickly was like
why do you hate Israel which is very revealing it is at like man you must take the something happening you know NBC had this reporter and he was out with reporters and he was he saw these kids and a bomb fell on these kids and blew them up the guy was real close and then he was talking about it on the news like one might if they saw a bunch of kids explode twenty feet away and he got pulled by his company out of the industry and got quote if you saw that happened what did you talk about it yes you have to I don’t know what that’s a political stance and a disagreement I think people having two different conversations and I think that people who would be outraged by what we’re saying and be like oh shit there Nazis their attitude would be there
by the way I think their attitude would be like the way we would feel it like a child murderer like it was going to murder a child then got yelled at by the cops it was like cops man they’re always fucking like telling you what to do and you’re like oh yes but you’re a child murderer and from the perspective of the hardcore is again. I think they’re like you cannot criticize Israel you cannot and it’s all right cuz if you do help us to hold people to a higher standard and Bubba Bubba blah I can help I can defend is a great article defending what they’re doing an end in that argument is this the idea is that so their argument is here we are this peaceful place and
these terrorists who keeps shooting missiles into our country every one of the missiles we used to shoot down their missiles as if it’s like 50 or $100,000 it’s very expensive sure no one’s dying over here but if we didn’t have this Miss missile Shield all of our many many people will be dying so there are their argument is this Hamas terrorist organization that has said its number one goal is to complete destruction of Israel and their strategy is to to make it to that their weapons stores are placed underneath hospitals underneath like family of the homes and families so that if his real tries to get rid of their weapons they end up killing kids and then that makes the world turn against Israel so is really think don’t you get it for massa’s or is like orchestrating this entire situation so that it looks like we’re
kids when really all we’re trying to do is get rid of weapons where is the Palestinians argument is actually we’re stuck in this shity shity situation where we can leave only want to leave there is there there’s people in Palestine who watch Disney movies and Nickelodeon and they just want to have a normal life but because they’re so it’s like basically if you lived in Atwater Village and in like someone in land and you’re at war with Hollywood and there were like people in Atwater Village you would launch missiles in the Hollywood and every time that happened Hollywood would fly over and blow up half of that water Phillies that’s the situation it’s a really dark shity shity place I just think that the where you have to land in all the complication is just don’t kill babies I’ll give you can avoid killing baby that I would marry with
for now I’ll let your freak flag fly I don’t want to steer the conversation or we can talk about this same situation is complex situation I don’t know you know there’s no right answer but the worst is always keep asking people about it it’s very similar it’s not somewhere but if you walk into a bathroom and then you saw cupcakes like would you hit them where it where are they I mean if you saw a cupcake that counter thing that the sinks on problem
what drugs are you on
I don’t want to metagame but are the cupcakes gods
play I guess not very much like that conundrum but it’s been burning within my heart
no I would not I would not eat cupcakes and I found a bathroom what about you guys
store bought homemade or store-bought you couldn’t tell they look really well-made are we playing Dungeons and Dragons
this is the
I used to be super germophobic attitude and I’ve mostly conquered it and nnn nice bathroom out of the store I’m bragging right now I saw a quarter on the ground in New York City and I was like I can pick it up because who knows it could have been like it could have been in shit or pissed are going but then I was like the difference between that quarter in the quarters in my pocket right is that I know that one was on the floor and then I’m like if I pick this up right now and put in my pocket and mix them with the other quarters I wouldn’t know which was which and I’m like it’s all you do with the cupcakes know I will I will need them in the bathroom had a sack of cupcakes already and you didn’t know where they were from
I’m going to take a serious answer your question I feel that I should be willing to eat the cupcakes and I wish I would but I’m probably too neurotic okay what about you eat the cupcakes
I wish I was that kind of I wish I were you and I think that I do realize being an actual eyes being an Alan Watts level wrong. Night being would be like I mean the cupcakes since they’re so yeah I think they like an awakened being I think Christ would eat the cupcake exactly that’s awesome you got killed cuz you ate a cupcake Gravely right like then let’s let’s step it up from there you get really sick you almost died you have to spend a lot of money like that’s an insane store you can make a Kickstarter off of that way every part of this would squirt and she found out that somebody died from cupcake poisoning she would never stop talkin about the dance cupcakes and they placed
the bar this this does in a weird way loop back around to your disturbing a pedophilic delete conversation from earlier about it and as speaking as a former germaphobe recovered germaphobe one of the things I realize also is that where you draw the security this this is also a 911 help with recognizing that it is an illusion II in a public restroom used to be in this is still sort of true if there’s no paper towel that I can open the door with I’m like okay how often are they clean the fucking door handle in the bathroom open the door with a paper towel yeah if the guys you’re right every once in awhile when I exit a bathroom and there’s like a little wad of paper towel wrapped around the inside.
I think I think I’m wrong and the reason I think I’m wrong at all these people
is that is that the blonde chick is okay don’t touch the the flusher and then I wash my hands and then I touch a thing that people didn’t wash their hands touch with their ass hands and I’m like why do I even bother washing my hands like I walk out and I shake people’s hands and they didn’t wash their hands cuz I might call that must make you a genius but I know this is crazy but I saved my Twitter favorites from like years ago and I was looking at Old Twitter favorites from like 2010 and 2011 I saw one from you that I favorited and you said something like like like like you could never be grossed out by a public restroom because you have the luxury of being disgusting yourself or something.
it was something like that I thought was if I’m saying it wrong so I mean to me a public restroom is the value of it is so much higher which is no matter what’s going on in your life like if you if you go into a public restroom and pull your pants down and sit like no one including almost God is allowed to tell you that you’re supposed to be doing anything else
you can almost like it it’s like like like I’m uncomfortable here I I just I don’t like this bar too loud as you can go and just go through the motions of pooping then that’s like you could just reset for an overwhelmed you and any idea of being afraid of germs and taking that away from my life is like like the value that it’s not going to kill me by Jeremih then like yeah because the odds that you’re actually something’s going to shrink who wants to ask me is it what are you what are you exactly afraid of him catching from a door handle in the bathroom that I have a German mind I’m just sort of like there might be stuff we know it’s worth man you’ve heard that the study they’ve done about the ice inside the ice machines and rides like there’s like so much
somehow in those machines like they’re it’s weird because they say there’s more shit inside an ice machine at the McDonald’s there isn’t then there’s nothing out of toilet yeah but somehow how does it get into the ice machine in McDonald’s Egg White where is that there’s no shit on the toilet seat how’s it getting into the machine like where is the in their hands are what we use to manipulate the world are the shoes of our bodies
if it is if we’re going to love each other we’re going to hold hands and forgive each other and hug each other and shake hands and feet each other things and and and make each other food we’re going to have to accept each other shit that’s not that’s not lately it’s like a certain amount of that stuff will make you sick of me being like everyone will be like you know that every time that you had eaten shit in a restaurant and it is kind of okay to eat shit like you can probably reasonably like taken care of shit and and take a bite out of it
Snowpiercer borrow fucking shit you got a pretty good chance of surviving your Natural Instincts are going to because you’re not supposed to eat that’s not going to help you elephant elephants do because there’s so much grass in their shit that elephant shit is not toxic to elephants that’s why everybody thinks they’re so there’s a lucky to get a shot of a halibut steak a good chunk of another element to ask pulling a turd out putting a ton of math stages so if you’re if you’re if you’re a vegetarian mammal and you don’t eat your own shit you’re an idiot because that’s dessert dessert That’s like fucking that’s how you survived protecting kids kind of like we have to be terrified all the time of it in that same vein
put me off of germophobia acquire it in my adulthood was remembering in biology learning that the surface of our skin is literally covered shoulder-to-shoulder with
looks like we we we were made out of little things who just hang out on top of us and the reason why they’re so important is because if they move there’s a parking spot open for somebody that might fuck us up ride and we walk around with just we’re just like Annie might be Lovecraft level existence where great that you’re constantly being infected but still love it and then and there on you and then they they live their lives and their most importantly like they have achieved something that Humanity can’t which is a perfect Society there’s never a little Lakers game on your elbow that explodes in the riots
there’s no G4 conference when it sing it doesn’t belong there lanzoni what mosquito a flea fuck yeah yeah but then you end up like shit in your stomach out like it did Ebola outbreak in Africa right now is not your little friends all over you but it is terrifying to think that every moment there’s a legion of microscopic demons waiting for one of your little friends to take a nap is a beautiful thing which is covered in demons
all right we better prepared to play D&D because we’re you’re here and these guys are here but they don’t know what’s up with the DND is this going to make sense man does mcmap in time to get Snivy egg plating not complaining I could do it I’ll do whatever anyone wants me to
make it so I just left my first episode of The Next Generation last night to take it so there’s such a thing as as any random configuration we could assemble it would be worse than what we usually have in terms of play to B&D that’s a fair point let’s do it let’s do it but it’s just these guys don’t know where we’re at you. I mean that’s a possibility maybe this is why I have not listened to the last like 30 harmontown cuz I work near where I live and I didn’t have a license so maybe this is already been established right
here’s the trick if you get somebody else’s character deform him and nnn Main him
I cut off the male’s dick
do I get to blaze character again
did it come back though no it’s still gone
when what do you think I thought maybe we could just try something else but you know we could do like some random shit I don’t know who knows you you do the thing where you DM and it’s all random so you want me to DMV I don’t know I just thought we could try something
what are you saying side quest in this context because there’s no

yeah yeah that’s what I’m talkin about yeah something like that exactly
it’s like a side quest
elseworlds with the same characters you guys figure it out
origin stories okay so then yeah I’ll give you the regular characters
great that sounds that sounds so dumb all right. Well that’s what happens when you grab Source ideas someone else come up with a dream sequence of what
who’s dream sequence
okay
Ice Cube’s dream sequence sequence
that doesn’t that’s not that’s just too free words
you know I stay right why don’t you have a nice deed Ice-T dream and I’ll dungeon master it after you stablish thigs
okay just let me know I play Ice-T and then these guys play my Entourage however you want to do it okay so it in and then it’s because they won’t have character sheets I’ll just tell you what their stats are ya ya trying to protect me
I want to play the regular game I don’t want to go into Icees dream what’s goes into what’s happening in the next game I’m here looks a little expensive where are we
let me let me hold up let me get this out I have it all prepared I didn’t know that none of you would be here
none of us lyrics to Straight Talk
free talk someone do something funny or we could do it we can do it we could do an improvised role playing game where from what you know of the three of us you dungeon master Adventure it which three of us go on an adventure
and you you improvised dungeon mastering it and we don’t we don’t have character sheets we just tell you what we do ourselves
again I don’t want to make the decision I like both of those ideas someone else decide you decide this is your town you’re in a room with the middle of The Price is Right
that’s that’s a drag
nobody’s either ideas
Camille’s character goes to use the bathroom wherever you are everyone has to be in Dungeons & Dragons it so I can
is there a cupcake all right okay I’m making the call yeah that’s what I asked for me Alex Ruben’s and Duncan Trussell are waking up for our characters you put us where you want to talk then we’re we’re going to do like a jazz great open-ended yeah me and Harmon his employee Alex Rubin and Chris de Burgh the human Rogue
are all standing well then let’s just play the regular game wax into the next game what happens right sure okay finders you find yourself the three guys I mentioned before Jan Harmon famous writer Alex Russo Alex Ruben’s rising up start the human find themselves in the back room of Meltdown Comics
Ruben show was just held it was so exciting that the the demigod himself Paul Reubens made an appearance but left left something of grave importance in you must return it to him you find yourselves with Paul Reubens Pee-wee Herman bow tie okay and the list that says where his house is
weight is the Bow Tie The Advocate to return. I don’t understand what’s happening I’m having an anxiety attack like worse than theirs White’s I don’t understand the air is wrong but everything sounds wrong that it is is there smells sick to me and and all I can think about it I feel compelled to tear my eyeballs out. This nightmare no stop it’s okay it’s okay I don’t know where I was just with my friend suddenly I’m in some kind of awful rectangular place there’s people here and I don’t I don’t know what to do I was the stereotypical cliche being and now I’m stuck in this awful place
what do I do
I don’t know what do you do I find like I don’t jack off
because my penis is gone I find
no I look around and I have to say I’m terrified I’m freaking out I looked you guys for Comfort I I don’t know what to do it’s really clearly if you’d suddenly you’re in a new dimension you’re going to lose your mind I’m losing my mind right now listen my name is Dan Harmon I am the creator of a lot of things that make a lot of people happy. There’s also a lot of things surrounding me on the internet it would lead people to believe a bad person depends on how much
sorry sorry you are clearly not of this world please take it easy
it may be you I don’t know you but maybe
maybe it was never meant to be there
every everyone at harmontown is welcome we have would never judge anyone we don’t bully anybody ever so like I found this bow tie
and I think we should return it to Pee Wee Herman that’s too much for me that’s too much for me to go to one of those the the Pee Wee Herman portraits and I smashed it with my hand the glass shatters and I’ll because you you freaked me out so much I don’t even know why I’m doing it but I start showing off one of my nipples
grabbing a shirt piece of glass you neatly slice off which one the left or the right there right
give me a call and then I eat it I eat the nipple no hope of healing
that happens there’s no hope of healing you guys see a man rip off his nipple and eat it I realized he has 11 minutes in this reality and I just bought I bought for the exit which one the front or the back back
see a man in a blue uniform he’s holding a broom and a cigarette walking your way
you bump into him and knock him over
I I just keep gone
you’re going down the
there’s traffic everywhere I mean someone else’s turn to the man bleeding from his nipple
choosing between my allegiance to my boss and the maniac you just cut off his own nipple I run after my boss
as you pass
uniform is getting to his feet he’s right in their path I just fell right through my just run right through all right will that time you try to pull right into him but he stay solid and stiff like older any Rises to his feet and he looks at you like where the fuck are you going
am I your bleeding in the room so I know I as I as I mention I eat I eat the nipple like a piece of popcorn throw it back in my mouth and I follow after them and follow after you see happening between now it’s Ruben’s in the blue man do I still have all my weapons yeah yeah what are my weapon You Got You Know Jack has he got a short Bo is going to be no problem I told Mike I pull out of my sheet and I place my left hand down on the sidewalk and I cut
I cut my thumb off
do you do anything after that I eat
Brian the blue he he stops everything he’s doing is like what
and he just starts running a guy in blue
can I buy a car lift
I run to the driver of that car all right you do that he’s like oh my God oh my God what year is it
11 I haven’t been fired
can you take me to Embassy is like I got to wait for the police to come I just killed a man that I just gave you
I dive into the back of the cab my I’m bleeding mid my nipples are spraying blood like a small for my nipple by bleeding and then in the calves I hold the dagger to the cab drivers not that they drive drive go wherever he wants to go I’ll drive ya I chase after you also hopping I think damn it’s not in the car you’re not in the car when I got into the past is there is is there blood on the mustache mustache mustache
so yeah where’s the universal that’s okay
free yourself you see Lankershim and it passes he doesn’t turn you fucker that’s what I mean to say is 35 I cut his throat
all right
you slice his throat and he immediately with his dying wife blood pumping from his veins he turns the wheel and it crashes right into a Starbucks coffee what time is it 4:32 p.m. fine people are freaking out most everyone’s running there’s just Starbucks Baristas standing in amazement
I just start screaming tell him that the fireman
I swear
so one of the Baristas comes up towards you he’s like looking at you he’s wearing one of those green hats he’s like hey hey man are you guys okay
I grabbed him
oh wait hold on I got home I make out with him behind let me make out
some crazy Judo move in your on the floor before you know what’s up you feel like maybe you shouldn’t make out with him after that is up for Rista yeah but not for wanting to
he’s like woah man I was just trying to help you guys out you destroyed a bunch of our property and I’m a 4th level black belt if that exists
I have a question but for Spencer, 2011 Alexandra 2014 Alex in 2011 what do you want
I’ll do that when you’re a 2014 Alex just to shake things up
yeah but can’t I drive time travel abilities I mean yeah something like that not that you’re aware of
we can’t travel at can we travel out of here like that who knows man
why can you time travel I’m saying here I’m sitting here I’m since 2014 and I just found out at 11 I’m like that I’m extrapolating from that I mean it’s possible that I was sent here but I’m like maybe I have the ability to travel through time and he’s talkin about time travel
I use my dagger
sever my other nipple and I eat it
all right that that also happens so you vomit a little and I eat that all right that happens you don’t vomit that I just ran into the street didn’t like
hi Ty it’s not like I created the show because I wanted it to be bad
and honestly it’s counterproductive to experiment with an ocean
I go up to Dan Harmon I say hey I’m from the future you get picked up again you get rehired and then you get tired on Yahoo but it’s a good thing off of it sounds awful I just want to be 30 Rock that’s all I want 30 Rock Don Mann on top of a car I don’t know what it is but listening to them talk I climb on top of a car my shirts off blood guys running out of my recently cut off nipples and I and ice cream out what is happened to life than people care about this
and I stick out my tongue and I’m about to cut off my tongue but I run up and I kiss them and make out with him as soon as I was done I found up there I found up the hood and I then a lock eyes with him and I hold him by the shoulders and they go
everything matters
and then I just did was make out with it when I make out with Dan and weep at the same time
Batman happens there’s a crane shot of that
I got five million dollar crane shot takes us out of the city zooms out zooms further out and it’s a map of Los Angeles the map of Southern California map of the western seaboard
yeah and Tom Skerritt is watching
I thought you were
was that Batman in the shower
thanks for coming
special guest camp trailer at Duncan Trussell
what is score
strange alien visitor Alex Rubens he’s back again
he wrote the polygraph episode of community and
yeah he’ll do right by you
thank you. Thank you Justin thank you everybody back there in the booth I don’t know
got Jeff usually does as maybe maybe we want Jeff back
but yeah we don’t care we’re not going to acknowledge it see you at the drawing-room probably
thanks Spencer

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