Episode: 148 – Easy, Sisyphus

Episode

Episode: 148 – Easy, Sisyphus

Description

The great Andy Kindler finally visits Harmontown!!! Watch the video at harmontown.com/live and become a member!

Transcript

come out now, sand Hollywood California harmontown
session
oh yeah apartment town
thank you
been such an exciting show tonight I really feel like yeah I feel like I could be good or no fault of my own
I’m in I’m in a pickle hair damn go yeah yeah excited for those of you listening and that’s it has literally in a pickle
living inside of a pickled cucumber the one that you button on a two button suit right anybody here have a needle and thread on them
Seth you do
what you getting back there is anybody know how to sew a button back on a suit he tricked you I trust you all right what you named Genesis with everybody
I hate to derail the show right after that but I thought you were going to keep going to be able to launder money that he’s just like continues and we were excited cuz we thought we were going to see like sartorial Rambo but we got to handle her holding the button like like an idiot
you got the thread
Seth
where’s your back
Midland Credit in Orange County right now
okay. Now that that was it doesn’t visit with a needle pointing happening over here oh that’s fantastic I’m going to take my wallet and other things out of it
say what
thank you sir. There is a regular character remind your phone I’m seeing it what is your name Madam has it got the needle and thread here Heather Heather are you are you a needlepoint Enthusiast over here what’s going on
your friend is is your friend your friend
take it easy Mickey
cheat codes a general vibe
mistress for Mickey is is endearing and have everybody that
they’re not just fixing my jacket there saving Memorial Day
I went to get a job when you sit down anyway yes but this is not business that was necessary man I thought I wouldn’t mind the vast resources of talents in our harmontown audience is fucked up I guess I guess you don’t get paid to do the show so that’s fine you view farm the labor and that’s fine
Okay so
will you be able to enjoy a listen to the show while doing this
especially since I got you didn’t expect to be doing it tonight is there a Shoe Shine
anyone know how to hydroponically Harvest soy
because Rich was still close to our moon Colony at this quiet than a few jumpsuits after this man now more than ever now that it’s now that it’s getting to be election-season hat called
okay everyone everyone everyone enjoys hearing about behind the scenes in harmontown so I needed a minute cuz I probably haven’t brushed my teeth in 2 days I can’t remember and we’ll wipe that right out.
It’s a pitch a perfect substitute for all of oral hygiene
100% effective
so I asked her a mitt and and then and then Dustin wasn’t in the room as girlfriend Elizabeth was Elizabeth said I think Dustin has some cement Dustin came in and Elizabeth said Dustin do you have any mince and it doesn’t give a damn it just was like what does your stomach hurt and and and Elizabeth starts laughing and I don’t know what the hell’s going on so dusty and Dustin leave to go get the outsides and Elizabeth says every time I have a stomach ache Dustin gives me an Altoid and I love him so I pretended helps my stomach ache
I’ve never told anyone this until tonight she said to believe that Altoids are for your stomach
Justin do you think I’ll toys are for your stomach
get out here Dustin Marshall everybody
the same reason you get a dinner minute after you eat at a restaurant cuz then it settles your stomach. I was a child I learned this is for you when you go to a restaurant you get that little red and white stripe you circled meant thing but that’s for your breath
Oh I thought it was to settle your stomach just commercial everybody
all right hey who needs Letterman
by the way I’m sure you’ve noticed you know now that Justin is out of the out of the hoosegow you should all hide your cartoon money he likes to wear that black and white striped shirt a lot
don’t don’t put any pies on the window sills Gary Road everybody’s got their little designations little jobs like there’s a war boys in the guitar guy job
you have to be fucking bad-ass.
Blind yeah which I was that’s how he got that job he’s got a prodigy or did they poke his eyes out in some kind of ritual with a guitar player is pretty great okay good movie okay
well I mean you qualifying Your Love of Fury Road right now I’m not at all not at all I just enjoyed that movie so much and all of her friends have enjoyed that movie so much and then on the way home it’s just that like she’s like how did you enjoy the movie was that intimidating for you
and I’ve only said that to you guys and don’t tell her
intimidated by the feminism
I would watch the kids hate that movie it’s a bunch of dudes fighting has never been anything other than I thought this is the best Mad Max movie ever out of all of them for sure I will I will say that I left my opinion I don’t particularly love that after play Mad Max and I love that performance and I heard that he’s like oh he’s taking a slight back seat because there’s this there’s this visit other sort of thing happening but that’s not really true if you watch all these movies like he’s always human he’s like this especially like brought out by the Charlize Theron’s character is the keys like this like lovable spaniel you know a dog is it turns the plot to the good movie. All of a sudden is like
what is it what is it the movies going in One Direction. What do you want what does no spoilers if you haven’t seen it it’s pretty great please enjoy
Ripley cuz she had to have the panty and bra scene in Alien
that was like a slasher movie in space whose like Jamie Lee Curtis running from an alien screaming she wasn’t really like
you know she was driven by her uterus I guess cuz I’m a lady
I don’t know
exploring online I mean a very little cuz you get like a little goes a long way of a reading about what the the meninist would have called himself
Mennonite
the in a fucking action will be like what do you want this is your stance that you want nothing but sweaty guy is rubbing up against each other the whole movie what are we talking about at that point where they just have to be propped they just have to be downloading the stress they want Top Gun Top Gun Man other side all of us.
turn noble noble weird religion a little bit of ignorance there was a there was a there was an article that that Emily Gordon to tweeted that I then I retweeted admit your fave is problematic and I think it was so sore like the Treatise was sort of like look the world full of like people you’re going to admire and they’re not all going to be mentally perfect like some of them are going to have slight Rachel white racist like holdovers from something so I’m going to need to be edified in terms of gender like they’re not there’s a really good there’s a good chance that as you move forward and admire people throughout your life like as a lot of them are going to disappoint you and it’s
if if if if if we’re going to actually fix the world and become like those Roddenberry Vision which I think was everybody would agree with that even though it seems like a lot of people want to fight that the real truth is if we’re going to make it there it’s going to be because we actually get good at like like greeting ignorance and saying like I know what you are that’s okay and I’m not going to call you a reverse bully you are kind of sending you or police you’ll get a big must be challenging but yes we’re going to be after if you happen to be somebody that was bullied in your life of course it feels good to finally like yeah maybe we can do that for a little bit but then
ProPress People Unite but I mean I was I was you know I was part of a group in the 70s called the kids that throw like a girl and a boy and he smell like sewage although it was important that way I could have done something about that I presented as sewage
and I was going I was judged all right anyways whatever Hartman shut your fucking hole and keep talking technology
obviously obviously that needs another five years of the oven it’s not working it doesn’t know when your hands are into the thing and by the way
a germ can live on cold metal I think we’re going to be dead before you go to a public bathroom
yeah
pick a stick shift going to be like every way germs tend to like like you know most warm biological places like the ones that can really hurt you and becoming like I can’t wait to get inside your body until you lately just finished
and are you already done Hannah the seamstress everybody
okay I’ll bring up bring up our for our first cast
thank you Hannah it’s very lovely of you to voicemail
yeah that’s a good button that’s going to last for a while
I guess I could try this has got to be someone here who speaks Spanish we find out there’s no there’s no British people last week but I think we need to see what this guy is saying I don’t know if you’ll be able to hear me
Megan
okay okay this is
this is that this is a voicemail I got today when I got didn’t pick up I got to see if this works here
Hey Monday
yeah I might have been like pseudo racist to me to send out of Spanish I don’t even know
here is that there’s a there’s like a really sharp child cough and a certified as I
do you know that you just called a fat white, cuz that can’t make it
can we try plugging in, we can try to figure this out it was at the wrong number or
it was it was a perfect number
I am I am life lighting his kid to the whooping cough Center
are the guys call you back when your car is ready
my car is going to be in the shop forever need to switch departments like I should be working on my air filter I think I’ve ever make it very quiet like 42 and it’s an iPhone give me a second
Hey Monday
I’m really concerned that I that I don’t know how to get this guy back it’s not listed number hello and bye
if you if you don’t call back I’ll assume she’s okay
she turning green patios
yeah what’s up its cactus
from cactus
is also 40 years old right now I would like to go hang out with a cactus but it’s important
I think I think I’m most scared out of all the gang Bangerz I think I’m most scared of the Latino ones
Whispering doesn’t make this not
recorded
alright alright let’s which is a good thing cuz I’m bad at them he’s an amazing comic
you can have a seat in any of these dates that you were halfway you want me to say you’re comfortable I think the camera guy might have a preference like he’s met all right so it’s already bombing I know it’s an old comedian I have to I have told them about you and and worship at your feet like an said we got to get Kindle are up here because you are to me like one of your like you’re like a tour of the quickest bombing,
what are the main things are easy to build it up to Big I didn’t have to do that I don’t know why I did that now look at us
judgmental attitude
kids today they like yeah yeah you make us laugh but do you got
telekinesis back in the seventies no back in the 70s they were like how I hope Gallagher smashing some melon and it gets on me
that’s what they were like it was easy back then you guys knew what to do back then what was Robin Williams sick of it back then too soon too late too soon
I’m I’m going to do this joke every night I’m on stage for the rest of my life every night I’ve done it every night so far and I will do it again who died made Jim Belushi a big star
are you the long stare
many of your jokes aren’t in borrowed them in conversation or whatever but there’s nothing else for them or is that when you say it and hold it years of Catskills, I’m doing it
Kermit singing last week two objects Island
you are a I saw the final Montage of a bill Letterman goodbye you popped up between like to President Obama so I couldn’t believe it was Todd totally thrilled to be grilled I thought I saw one of the things I was thrilled to talk to you about is like how cuz I understand that really endeared you to me where is otherwise you just be that really really funny guy and sometimes it’s easy to hate that guy cuz you like that really funny guy and hate myself cuz I’m so funny
but you
will you bother you bother to argue with people on Twitter like about any logical stuff lately people pick on you about not being an atheist and you push back and go a thing and they both would you say that you said if your eye care about they were like it’s one thing but if you if you’re saying yeah I’m taking atheism which is I have no God for antagonism which is you have no God like I didn’t I didn’t I didn’t say that on the mount I was saying that to these three that were like shaking down for his lunch money
add pears to have a connection to the fucking Cosmos is like first of all if you’re 20 shut the fuck up about religion about my lack of it closer to worship your mother’s vagina I have
that’s what made that joke work
I’m not sure where you’re actually right and here’s the thing is that this is but it also makes up a lot of different things which is like people like the first of all I don’t care if you’re a most my friends are you get a price if you’re an atheist show me where you’re going to have to move to Alabama and specifically walk around go there’s no God you Jesus piece of garbage
example of how some of these people’s minds where someone was argue with me and they said they always say that religion causes your the correct causes people to become violent so I said well. It was an atheist and then they know is violence even using their own logic there’s a lot of it yeah I feel like I’m sorry I got so excited we have an understanding and then I bet if I asked all the atheist to stand up I don’t want to risk because they might go while I’m standing yeah I’m just a Joseph Campbell guy and I was like I was I was an atheist and agnostic too until I started writing and started having writer’s block on that discovered Campbell was reading his new like he’s got grow up a Catholic Boy Scout and he was smart
and end and heat the value of Mythology in your life it is like that’s all I care about like I always say to people if you’re going to pop Tom Tom Hanks volleyball what are you going to replace it with a Castaway
unless you’re 8 years old or 12 of course we’re not talking about people literally believe the Bible is true those are fundamentalist nobody believes fundamentalist what they believe in all though I’ve met a lot of nice fundamentalists I mean them to spend the night those who will tell you your bad for her being gay you can’t say something the words God I use it to describe something I can’t describe I’m not even saying what it is I’m just saying I did LSD in college I’ve had I written music today to get into Zone I take martial arts they call it no mind the root of all of so many things in life meditation is a belief in some kind of Trance had that experience and you can’t and it seems like ridiculous with these people
venerable head they really think that that’s where they going to be able to figure out everything is science has nothing to say about the kind of things I’m talking about years old or creationism is it looks like there’s no scientific thing that come out with where it where I would go okay I was wrong my God what are you do you know the people used to put leeches on people and burn people at the stake and also it was like yeah and then that scale we’ve won there’s bigger skyscrapers the churches on every Skyline there’s like no place where there’s like crucifixes everywhere and you get whipped for anything if you don’t believe in anything like we’re winning and where it’s it’s it’s on schedule like the death of religion that’s fine we’re fine I’ve ever had to
send organized religion I might even defending I’m not defending it wasn’t worse than anybody right even with a name on it
well this probe I’d rather hang out with
that’s like the biggest compliment I can give a poke he just sort of like I don’t know he didn’t say that but boy they really put a firecracker in the Old Post
he’s not normally a people person I’ve been left
he actually hit

that was an actual physical violence on the show for the first time I think I can’t believe I actually hit him with a physically violent acts by Charlie hope. I’ve seen a couple of cartoons when they’re showing Muhammad easy dude you don’t want me to say of Ava cartoons with their where Muhammad Iqbal Muhammad I don’t know if they’re cartoons were racist I don’t know I guess yes
good job in traffic if you can’t have a discussion about that there are certain things in the world like those Danish guy that then go guy he get killed but it is a lot of people provoking people who are not in the power position in their country and if we can have a discussion about it and sour what she’s going to say because some people didn’t want them to get a pan of war that they have no character that’s where it’s like you do you happen to have a discussion if you’re telling me there’s no validity to my position because you can’t murder a cartoonist
cartoonist
any stamps in Family Circus for a long time that I’ve been very I refrained from ever speaking about the I have nothing because I’ve been so confused about it because I am a rabid mouth foaming I don’t know what to say First Amendment guy because I don’t think you know that the freedom of speech is something you get from a lawyer I think it’s something you get by virtue of your Humanity but I’m like anybody ever trying to stop the article was it you that magazine article in the big just all it was was accepted it was just a bunch of a French Islamic individuals like
commenting on the situation but the book by Richard being asked by the journalist and I just read it and I kind of like you and started I was like oh my God I got caught up I’m always railing against which is so much easier to recognize within the country where you’re being told falsely that you have to choose between two things did you have to choose between Do You Love Freedom or love terrorism no I mean anybody who’s anybody is a fucking bully and so we should just always like fucking gather around and do whatever we have to involve a lot of us but yet you can still feel that way but you can also be equally passionate about everybody being respected all the time this isn’t this isn’t something is up for referendum anywhere
some salt and pepper and the other Potato
horrible person he will quote he was a 70% of according to a Pew poll in Syria whatever 70% of Muslims hate those cartoons what is that mean they’re allowed to hate the cartoon you’re allowed to draw the cartoon I’m allowed to say I can’t I hate them and it seems to me I didn’t see a lot of these people arguing about having mosque near 911 you know I’m saying everything and that’s also freedom of expression is freedom of expression is based on where you are in your life so my friends have got jumped up from the table because they’re artists so that’s all they see in that moment so murder is wrong circus that guy should be allowed to walk around
should be walking around a bug that’s color is that is very sour tart cherry
doesn’t like Mondays I don’t want to rip my head off on Monday of
Valhalla
oh okay but you agree that I’m right that’s why everybody has to love me
comedy at the last Festival in Montreal the state of the industry address which is hilarious what do you think the state of Comedy is right now James Corden I honestly don’t either the fish sticks right
close my friend are you still going to make the speaker even knows the references okay I love the show b-roll with Carson Daly have you seen that show
I told him he doesn’t have time to be on his own show anymore he doesn’t do with the interviews on his show he is he throws two to a comedian who put their own why you not outraged by this
then we have the comedians Josh Gad is literally everything he’s in everything I owe me that my mailbox this morning Josh Gad popped out a pill in that have you seen the comedian’s yes it’s behind the scenes of Vaudeville is what it is Billy Crystal comedy movies in 1957 World Book
Adam Sandler Adam Sandler movie where they walked off of the even the writers of getting sent them a note and said that
I don’t know Adam Sandler movies in production hello
what do you try to drown in my own sorrow
assume that you would agree that
is that what you’re very busy is older than he hasn’t even understand the basic tenets of monotheism someone goes out and goes to work the same thing but this idiot doesn’t even
he talkin about to have his fees about that and then the other half of his feet about how he doesn’t care what people say about him half of his great and I want to know can I get a price on Netflix without Derek
without Derek what’s the price without Derek
are you bringing it down without there is like frosting gingerbread house and the jokes like pretty frightening stuff people
I’m thinking about what I should ask you next imagine you might agree or would or would tweet this observation that there was a certain point in time when a certain kind of I would call it the apple on the Apple on the teacher’s desk School of Compton
I mean if you like
play Tommy Lee represents that are funny and it’s also the sort of like like like kind of like a comedian’s job isn’t to upset people which I don’t agree with feel like I’m a comedian should not be allowed to be Pals with a politician I think you should definitely feel that there’s like a red flag happening there if like Ted Cruz is a nice man and we had a house we don’t talk
funny are here but are you there
no I know what you mean that’s why I let him it was so amazing was because he was himself
are my eyebrows still growing
if I get myself premeditated I don’t think I should keep growing after you die
I don’t know why there’s a cop on the coffin lid on here and look at me
I got nowhere to be for lining understand I needed to put my body in but they could have welded it shut actually now that I’m thinking about it out loud I guess a little make sense
goodbye I’m dead Andy route I found my peace
episode
is it
the shift toward the apple on the desk philosophy of Comedy is coming around Chris Farley’s death because I felt like it was just one too many for everybody and then there was a certain like takeover of like okay now let’s have the Activities Committee who’s your favorite student
Owen High School there were the kids that put together the pep rally
and they would like and then Mister Simmons from chemistry would come out and he would like split sync to an Elvis song and then he would and then Jeremy would come out who’s famous for his what is mullet cuz he said he’d cut it if they didn’t win homecoming and it’s like everyone’s like
Fusion of popularity a comedy but it’s not really, they like the kids they’re smoking joints under the bleachers like me either but like I should come from the right they shouldn’t come from Glade popular like craps of people and I felt like it’s always been there and it’s always been like sort of a sad but realistically kind of thing as a black comedians are terrible torture people say they had their there in a lot of pain is kind of like okay this comedian like you do kind of like he’s he’s allowed to say shit to no one else is allowed to say it he catches flak for it but he doesn’t give a fuck and that’s that’s the comedian station and overdosed and like those I don’t know a specific we’re talking about
overdose on cocaine what am I going to tell me what’s on TV plus a funny thing thing thing
can you say you said that
find the Killer is saying you guys. You did it why would you bring that you used to love when I was back there and you said about you said you were in the comic right but my Corolla or the all of a sudden think what your face is another example is the funniest comedian in the world what is wrong with your ego that you say cuz you’re done stand-up 15 or 20 times and it’s like to have a human with what you have humility and it just like you know you’re funny but you know as well sit there and looks like fucking like you have work for 10 years and the result is like a strong 15
11 and you like a new work at my age is a great thing but I like like like I’m about to go on stage and I’ll go like as like been working on the road in the last time and he sort of become a podcast star but it’s like his is way bigger than his comedian podcasts the crowds for no effort at all but if he’s like just drink as a stand-up it’s sort of like how he does stand up before going on stage are you mad about the last 20 years that we spent
very happy guy you see that thing where Ricky gervais’s arm would like Chris Rock and those guys and Louis CK and and they were both talking about, and the fact that we could your face is he’s a narcissist he had an example of someone who was so full of himself he said this is the only trophy hunting I believe in it because he’s animal rights things and he’s standing of front of a case with his trophies in it I forced him to change his Twitter bio I absolutely absolutely convinced of it but his Twitter bio said multi bafta-winning 16mb deserving writer-producer actor-singer literally and he was and a one-trick pony with a smiley face
you can be a comedian and not realized and I have any self-awareness
I guess Steven Martin was responsible I mean
interesting that’s how you look at it for 1 for Kendra
Hitler one we’ve already circled this the only person that I would trust with this to answer this question in a in an edifying way no pressure but it also it’s kind of a dumb question but but so don’t answer it but who is Copernicus have they can sum up their whole stick in one thing that’s what I do for a little bit about I’m not supposed to do any harm is there is there it’s hard to find a good Tow and nose doctor
do we have to hold that was because we had to like you know we had to shake him down for one at some point cuz otherwise I could just be like the leeches and I Would Do no harm thing the doctor Mengele stop it
I don’t know.
It’s it’s not a pro as a pro documentation concepts of context and irony yes at 2 to be genuinely like that people racist so you’re racist to good logic little fucking shit head
the bad bad bad approaches to Comedy like it is like me personally observing its axis like I don’t think you should be doing comedy to get Applause or even necessarily Smiles I think the comedy definitely kills more people and make them feel better in the long run it’s important the first joke is the theory and anthropological Theory the first the first joke that we hear is peekaboo and it’s like it has Terror your mom is abusing your infantile instinct to shriek in Terror when your mom’s face goes away and then she’s going to come in on it to death is a joke
one foot in the River Styx you know everything
1 Greek name
I can’t reach your beer God has a plan
maybe you shouldn’t do The Iliad and the Odyssey
yeah I like them they kind of Abdullah yes yes old man read something
objectively wrong you can say, he’s not subjective in the sense that you’re sick or allergic or anything it’s funny because that was what got me where I wrote this hacking handbook which is available on my website where nothing ever changes who’s sick and tired of all these different dates
they keep changing of a well okay so if you’re in a club and I say are you are you working tonight we’ll get your feet up a stage like in the in the 80s and the crowd before those out to the comedian to have to take the responsibility that he knows that his materials original that he’s not doing something hacked by the lock and like when they had the first alternative seen since this is the real alternative explosion would let him know and he’ll play comedy club because I was just filled with hacks who just played to the audience so I’ve been the only things that you can’t you have to go with what you believe is funny and for me the big breakthrough but I know this is no
breakthrough came 23 years in when I realize that I really I thought I was always saying what was on my mind with but I realized that wasn’t I was going to like stock things about it like I hate the crowds or I hate myself and that was a big breakthrough and so that’s kind of my oldest is when things go bad just to really try and be in the moment but an end remind yourself that yeah if you’re if you’re not making yourself laugh if you’re not saying something huge and you write Feliz funny then you’re a racist on Monday night and then you like to read about it for three days until they come back on Thursday and I found out unless you’re saying that you genuinely think it’s funny you’re never ever ever going to you never going to be funny because you could you could make people laugh you can cry if I go online for the wrong way
see I got a jackal
jokes and that’s why you can’t make it a rule to Dick jokes are an easy way in his lap and then there’s always one person like any rule you would make and then you see Dave at Alpha 10 minutes be so hilarious no one’s funnier than him you can’t make any rules and that’s why when politically correct things come down or if they went after Colbert terrible obviously we know he’s hilarious but that doesn’t mean that I never bought the thing where the Magic Erasers on you can say anything you want your conscience you should be able to say if you think you’re wrong I was wrong for saying a man who takes never apologize you should never you should send her an apology
we are over apologize we can’t we can’t go like to apologize is like I’ve been doing this week I have no material I’m battling I’m drunk I have like bruised people and I have I have been told that I have bruised them on Twitter and I have them even in that moment gun like the fuck yourself and I don’t like being told that I did something wrong I did something wrong I could have done that differently you know but I didn’t because I wasn’t I wasn’t thinking the right way
that when you that you really follow that Credo is because in the brief time you’ve been up here you have I mean I also do not like Bill Maher I also was thinking of Jimmy Fallon when you said I was thinking of Jimmy Fallon I also like I did I didn’t know Adam Carolla was racist but I but I’m willing to believe you you you go there as a girl say I do go there and I know has a car that runs on the energy of all the people’s dreams he’s Christ
I like how to do I kind of really don’t like Jay Leno but I am very sensitive to the aunt that people should not hate people based on how I was raised that you don’t hate Evil based on their religion metal isn’t an end. Matic about that absolute you could possibly be but any fucking thing up and if he were more Charming
sorry I mean oh my God I have you some money so you have a backpack to the sexy ass R&B song about 911 911 but then it started to get field creepy
because I think the numbers funny you know what I mean I’m against it the number taking down the towers you know they should not have clearly doesn’t believe that they should have been should have counted the 10-year right with you
count to 11
you should send it right in between 9:00 and 11:00 right in between I just had put it behind me and Jeffrey Dahmer ate everyone in Milwaukee at Edwin when all of the families of his 17 victims were going out to Comedy Club how to get away from their sorrows and every comic was like the nation thinks this is funny that I live in Milwaukee in the days and weeks after 9:11 cuz I went to a show about a week after week and a half after all the shit went down and Warren Thomas and did the funniest 9/11 joke of all time
call Country whole world was just like like like a weird suspension of like nothing’s going to be funny for a while and some guy came on before him and told a bunch of jokes about how I was feeling acting career and he’s he’s in a bunch of shows that were terrible and it was great, he died about ten years ago the love it and I know he comes up in his first job
not as sweet as we needed to fucking say something funny. Did somebody to fucking do the comedian’s job is like let’s all just fucking was all be in this room together and let’s all laugh about anything at all the story about Gilbert Gottfried’s I no desire to see the aristocrats is like it’s some ways I’m like an old-school guy like I had to fear my parents going to watch it and they’re going to be watching it on something like a copy of the Jonestown Massacre that he was late for good because he has a change of plans at the Empire State Building
and that Danny went into that is wrong because this is a story that I’m sure I’m being like going to get the details right I believe it was Gilbert Gottfried at the Fillmore in San Francisco and from what I’ve heard it’s one of the greatest openers of all time it comes out in a couple days or so after and believe me if I’m getting this wrong somebody like I can put online the actual story of this but just passed down to me for other Comics the Jonestown Massacre horrible thing another one of those moments were no great against it
nobody knew what to think and certainly like we’re going to a comedy show and all these people to massacred and it’s a weird zit so it’s a weird time to go laugh about anything at all I smell flesh
I even died
supposedly he comes out and I don’t know if he was doing the voice then or not but this is a long time ago I think you always go there tomorrow to try in San Francisco and I grew up in San Francisco what do you say I came here as a young buck at the young teenager I saw Janis Joplin play here and actually became friends with her and I met her and we we hung out and I was at you with Janice when she died
and I held her in my arms as she has to be here at the Fillmore it’s very powerful emotional think of me Jimi Hendrix player became president cuz I was with Jimi Hendrix the night but Jimi Hendrix died of Health
I held Timmy Hendrix in my arms as he died
I just got back from Johnstown boy am I
what about Comics are licensed jesters and that there should be should always have the freedom and it should be sanctioned by the by everybody that they have the ability to be seditious and to be able to take over the world has come from you were vetted so is capitalism everyone’s a comic open mic night and then some guy we’ve all seen some horrible shit I did stand up for all of a couple years before I gave up cuz I was bad and didn’t have the discipline to do it and but you know I was I was I was at the safehouse in Milwaukee with this guy that he was a juggler and he was juggling like machetes and like metal and
Lou out into the audience and like I almost hit a lady and like
when you almost to almost be a good sport and I guess the machete kind of like when it’s sort of like in the area of like he saw the opportunity in that it like landed kind of between her legs and so he made the joke as he picked it up he’s like too bad it didn’t go six inches further to keep you from reproducing and then kept juggling
so I got to think about whether or not you know which we should all be knighted you know for speaking our minds are the Defenders of that guy doesn’t know what he’s doing is very nervous he’s throwing knives around right like thinking I might crack your vagina
that’s not me so much when you’re talking about, Dee is a river you know what should the pH level of that River be I think it should be primarily toxic who I think is hilarious that’s his mind doesn’t work that his mind doesn’t work that way so we are When Calls that caustic to be caustic as a comedian that’s my whole point I think of that kid like throwing knives and I feel like he should not be protected. I mean everybody by default things you have to be mean to be funny and there are so many wonderful warm sincere people who are truly funny because of their love of everyone around up a Bill Cosby
oh that is inappropriate way what I said I meant
I think there’s an obligation of of Comedy that it needs to be just skip to my bottom line and my agenda is I just don’t think you should be you should be that popular I don’t think you should be that Friday buddy with the city hall in the end the Guess who’s coming in tonight it’s the president of the school
the student council at its like you’re probably not doing comedy then there’s a really good chance of that will found the perfect example because it was a perfect example that you can’t guess it work for Johnny Carson when he was the only showing the air he felt like you didn’t want to go too far in either direction in a politically that’s fine he was Johnny Carson it was hilarious but do it for Jay Leno say that he says you should have a point of view is just ridiculous about the app do and everybody upset that’s why there’s two play Jimmy Fallon right now because uncomfortable things are hard to talk to the people want a clown who what does a comedy has become so powerful tool left because politics have gone into the shiter every was lying when they’re breathing everyone is so jaded and everything for the people that make you laugh people getting their news from The Daily Show for 20 for 15 years
even say that like a country song on the shiter it’s like yeah that could be trusted to walk the prank I was Logan’s Run point it always like like like whether or not so I think green is this or whether it’s people I know I’m mixing movies and metaphors of comedies like emergence from all this other shit as like a trusted platform was like we actually need the people that make us laugh so bad now that will like hashtag cancel Colbert because the guy that runs his Twitter feed accidentally contextually
give me example of the word Beyond cruel things like and crawl if you listen to some of his bits where he says Mexicans have no culture they’re coming up here to get our culture of cab drivers why you think cab drivers don’t start pick up black people maybe they know something about black people that you don’t know if those are not jokes to accept the Adam Carolla Amazon Loveline whatever you could be funny but then maybe you could be funny but now when he’s just spewing racism he can’t hide behind the fact leads a comic to justify what he’s saying so it’s good that we’re moving into the stage where we can like detective that shit and call it out but it’s like
well it’s a yeah I mean
that kids worried about like for instance leg and I don’t know no one’s defending this lady but the African a joke lady
I said when someone says something she said oh yeah I know lately I don’t worry about me because I’m wait like like parentheses I feel bad that I live in a world where an entire continent is is a scissors are sewer and we don’t give it any federal aid for the thrill of it is thrilling for everybody it’s a sort of like you find out that this arm you have him like grab things and so a babies like just reach out for your face like if a baby could suddenly muster the strength of a human being like like like like a lot of people would lose their noses I think I probably would that joke comes from having babies believe it’s possible to get your nose and they don’t mind trying but their muscles are
so they’re out there just like you do babies reach that grabs your nose as hard as it fucking care if I could pull this thing off his face that the internet what’s up with this guy’s face like when it was some astronaut going into space or something and he was like it was going up into space again for like a magic space run and then he was no he’s going back up again for some reason or something or maybe maybe maybe you needed up there I don’t know where’s my title is the mascot
exact same principle that happened with that this woman is who made the shity joke and she got out of airplane for Africa and basically somebody made the joke of like hay while she’s in the air let’s make her famous city joke that didn’t land famous I just got off the plane in Africa and was like I think everybody every step of the way in that process probably has at least 90% of the best intentions but the collective emergency they’re like 70 year old guys in the driving a hearse and they had a veteran in there and I guess the guy ran into get a he was they had their drive for seven hours so they ran and got a donut and then this guy came out of it you never supposed to leave or hers and
you guys are the seventies they got fired they are fired because yes they were probably wrong but the other words like why aren’t you supposed to leave a hearse because you’re supposed to because if it’s a veteran and even in general with the horses if you’re never supposed to do if you do you supposed to pull around and pull out what it why was it that important for the other guy to expose person really is Twitter and social networking is like when the whole Woody Allen thing was happening a people hate me because I was saying you’re basing
Fair article I mean thank God that the court of public opinion is not an actual Court you literally have never heard anything about this case but you’re basing your opinion on the vanity I was just yeah I made a week we get very excited like those those the people who would win there’s like a little kid that’s murdered and then there’s there’s all of us who are like me and little kids shouldn’t be murdered I am Against Child getting murdered what is stipulating that before he does something and then there’s the people who drive from out of state and I stand on the edge of the line with like the actors of dead babies and hold them up and go like your amrhein
get out of there like that that person is doing that anywhere because it’s hard to feel like I’m running on tap at your house feeling like I hear out and so when you when you read in the papers that like something behind that happened or get behind against we react it’s a sign of the fact that we’re being deprived of a healthy amount of Mythology and self-satisfaction and our day-to-day lives like we’re not we’re not going to bed at night feeling like we’re good people something happens on the news it’s like this kid got abducted and murdered
he’s trying to see what happened to Steve Sewall tell you Steve Steve man working for eight years it it it it did Verizon and he’s like he’s bleeding
I didn’t feel like you’re a good guy. I hate the Democrats versus Democratic party so I don’t like inspecting with a calm down but it’s called the democrats’ their website their Twitter thing to they say a happy Memorial Day and then Obama holding an ice cream cone or whatever and so traffic was respectfully I don’t believe that was an appropriate image know no better way to celebrate the memorialized Memorial Day
back to me so disgusting that’s what he’s going to do we have to charge the normandies Instagram’s and you know really could take them and that’s how we won the war by knowing when people were bad and he’s been saying so in a comment
terrible terrible why are you why are you still pending everything wedge what is Lady
what is the 8th lady every 10 minutes the crowd loses its sense of humor completely
I don’t know where I got nowhere to go
hey guys hey Spencer sorry I worked up a steam talking to Kendall’s know it’s been great conversation it’s so it’s so you know I’m you know I don’t want to make you feel on the spot here Dan some of the finest interview
I’ve seen and some days on harmontown
oh okay thank you Andy Spencer is our dungeon master yeah not The Sex Dungeon master
dungeon the other side
Bubba on something something something Miss Pac-Man play anything like a D&D role playing game of any sort ending me I did some pain online and they said
I know it was kind of the one where you kill somebody in the car Grand Theft Auto guy I have never played a video game in my fucking life never never
play we went time one time I played when I paid the old ones that I did not add pinball machines
you play Pinball electronic it was amazing to still have pinball machines is that a good thing we call him up from Jack Black named I dropped it like everybody’s got their thing and Will Ferrell’s famous for having no fucking bad guy
he could see the good in anything and I like I hate people and I don’t know if I thought it was you who Yahoo video game saying for I Don’t Know Jack was Will Ferrell to come out do this thing and he’s like yeah
it’s pretty good I did a little try to chop cuz I was like holding your hair when you drink
I can try what the chicken time with Wolfman Jack Black
Heart of Gold
I’ve never heard of The Saga already called Wolfman Jack would never introduce Spencer

so did you really sign a deal with Yahoo Yahoo yeah I’d like to be satisfied with my provider
what’s your upload speeds
like you’re so outspoken and so funny and so on on on his ground and you say what you feel and I are unmistakably one of those like a Comics, Canda. He’s is, can so incredibly funny and where is your sitcom leg let’s run 13 episodes and then gotten canceled like where is your crowning Glory are you are you where are you at with your relationship with your career cuz it is like like you’re you’re like the you like the king of this mountain that’s like you I don’t know how much higher you can get on it but like everyone respects you and like you’re you’re not Seinfeld like that and what is your relationship with that stuff
you know anybody would say like I meant anything that could happen where every time someone says you’re sick, I wouldn’t turn it down I mean in my mind that like to be a since I was 12 I like to be a movie actor you know Louis has all the faces
but the point is is that
who is this is the God’s honest truth is that I have never been half the thing I love most to stand up and this me every night I loved it but and the fact that I can pay my bills and I am recurring thing here doing nothing so completely completely have the only thing that bothers me is when I get towards being broke and otherwise I used to also I don’t want to pick Sandlot person to want to fictionalize anything anymore so I don’t want to be a stereo store sells I don’t want to be the guy that we’re friends with and watch him go through it we met him when he went out it was already going through it like this Dangerous Game you’re playing there when you if you sent the highest achievement as you get a sitcom and you’re like my name is my actual name but I but I work in an ad for him but unlike but it’s really me and so like your eye
Kennedy drew it expressed this at one point is like then you get cancelled and is you but it’s not you never want to miss the world love Drew Carey the color I love Drew Carey it’s also his first and last name and then when people stop watching Drew Carey and what type of motion or grams and this is the truth to me is that you really can’t control that’s why I like Oprah when they would do these actual ancient Eastern ideas but they would miss you appropriate them like you create your own reality that doesn’t work if you’re Jewish and you didn’t mean you want to go on a concentration camp near me
I’m just saying the Jews did not want to go into a kind of strange sometimes but you can’t always control what the end result is so I’m I’m comfortable that I just don’t know what’s going to happen and that wouldn’t discount anything I wouldn’t show respect, that’s your show the stickler
stickler and dandy Sigler Sigler is the stickler
yeah he comes in India
in the words of Edwin Newman and so I have ideas but I’m going to ask a question that the two we cut you off or what to do if you have a podcast and what’s your sign in the 70s
true story home and I’m watching Conan and Adam Warren Thomas comes on and I’m not lying about this a joke bombs I mean seriously like cereal called cereal whenever time and I think Conan came on right in the old days and he goes to a joke bombs and the Warren goes I’m entering Andy Kindler bill before they were podcast said that weighs before podcast they said would you like to do so I couldn’t but no one had a podcast but I couldn’t conceive of what what
I talk to myself so had I come up with it then that was the time to do it now I pride myself on being a guest on podcast this is a work out your shit. I know better than to have a relationship with them like to come out and talk for a while and leave anytime you want we love you I love it so much why are you mentioning why you must lead me towards the door I’m not cuz I actually have dying to see you play Shadowrun with us I would very much like the one thing’s for certain I don’t know that I have any respect for that doesn’t respect you and that’s like where people can be competitive and it end in dark and have our own ships like that cuz I have a comedy contest with me
I’ve ever seen you remember the Onyx Cafe it was an absolute street from Pedro’s grill right or around there that there was a tiny little coffee house and I don’t think this was completely just fellated you are on a show a while back and we talked about how much we loved you for a half hour but there’s a tiny little coffee house and it was never more than 20 people in there and it was run by Josh Deaton.
chicken nugget football 50 yards but I just ripped a guy in the front row the entire goddamn time there’s a guy that had an acceptable shirt for you just gave him shit
smaller than the wooden blocks and you just stormed around it like General Patton in Worcester fucking apoplectic laughing and also these two guys came in with her guitars playing up the street and they came down the road and came in and it was Jack Black and Kyle got no I don’t remember this night I remember you saying what’s the song this is not the best song in the world
call Tompkins will be one of the first shows in La I need a shity rumpled ask Ali with an independent and dependent an indie Comics I came down from the Bay Area.
Don’t get me started know I started here I can’t have to be a music I can have to be a musician I started, you just because I would have had to have left to start in a smaller towns but I knew all those guys Who Laughs Unlimited in fact Commerce or their people that why do you have to see this guy this person is from or the scalawags is Janeane Garofalo this is just like other people that they’ve heard of everything in the magical at the house was kind of a Looney Tunes and you really was crazy but there was you and Jeremy Kramer and amazing stand up.
there was a magical moment when you like I’m allowed to like Stan of a giant explosion in the eighties where everybody thought they were mildly entertaining stood in front of a brick wall in from you the fuck out very Lake and end our friend Bobcat Goldthwait in lake lake Lake Link the character comedy sorry to have it was like you really there was a huge pressure on comedians like come out in like it was like Star Search you know they are you the guy with the penis for a head are you the guy with dice on his neck hurt you know it was like the invite but you transcend all of that because you you don’t wear flannel and never have
in the late 80s by what’s the weather right now I think right now is an amazing time. Right now I really do because people are actually going out as of right now but like it you I don’t right now in Hannibal Buress there’s so many amazing it’s pretty cool running today at Bernie Sanders impression for 3 hours and so it was always Larry’s it and it’s just a Carlos mencias really hitting his stride right now
listening usually I see you lingering but what’s a small leaning me in Shadow
well I think we should I think I think we should we should we in honor of Mad Max Fury Road we should we should we should get a non-sexualized strong female lead to come up and play Erin McCarthy’s character preferably someone with a robot arm
Hannah by the way I that’s no small favor you did for me I really appreciate you putting the button back on my thing
I mean I can do it too but I I know I’ve so many buttons and I’ve ripped many buttons off I can do this I love to so bad I do quite a lot and I appreciate you doing that for me
you going to eat the my baby
when I said baby I meant baby in the Sammy Davis Jr way that’s Omni gender like I mean like baby like your skirt I made in this in this manila folder there’s like a piece of paper with the most academically intense murder mystery night you won’t you do not need to know any of this stuff who are you what’s your name dude you probably around 9 Gianni
which which has that character that’s the doctor friend your friend okay see you like a doctor who are you Hannah so so you your earrings character you’ve never even ever heard us play the game Hannah at so he said okay she makes the deals and she’s kind of she’s going to she’s got power over other people find Charming very like she has the ability to con and kind of like like like negotiate wheel and deal because I’m a Libra. That’s good. Your friend is going to Bob doctor archetype dr.
and you’re I got you just like say one of the words you see in the sheet and be confused about it okay
I will kill you if that’s how you doing doing papers and stuff like that for the underworld in the future next when he asks us basically systems that he understands and she’s about to improvise in and it sounds like fun
special guest recap Air Force Ones by James Johnson
last time on a Harman run beginning stages of modified circle-jerk to initiate their new teammate that’s it
name James Johnson Packer sling a technomancer it’s a hospital to infiltrate the hospital and retrieve data research for your employer and our players who are you looking for data related to the Billy Baldwin vtl chips Baldwin BTL chips is just a great thing to say brown when I get to
I love you terrible pain in first Do no harm I will just a moderate amount of pain do we have a location for the milepost limited yeah you have an address I call an Uber
all right you do that it arrives outside the float up everybody Lock and Load Mercy how’s it how’s it going
we may at least we may need you to to to go into the go into the front of the hospital and kind of do some do some front stuff for us because I have exceptional Charisma that’s the reason
have you seen Mad Max no no no
I cannot place the Uber driver telling me that he has no place to store my Mystic armor
what do I do what should I do I certainly hope this voice stops
who are the women does not compute
babysitters beware the Mystic armor in
I got to remember I think that we found out there’s lots of sensors vibration sensors and all sorts of like security and stuff like that we get in there at this place yet and I’m an elf Edition very very matter-of-factly
dance get usually
well then I shall be the Counterpoint with my stand but on
I agree with my chameleon suit
alright thank you Mumble card
I sent out am I someone a butterfly
that’s going to fly out ahead of us I just going to go into the door and then it’s probably not $0.70 us to fly around give us some Recon inside the submarine plus limited alright you summon a butterfly but it takes substantial drain you feel you feel your resources being drained as you cast this magic from your body but there it is a butterfly
butterfly are we are we close to the bank was limited oh yeah your clothes your about 5 minutes off
did I why did I think it was a hospital did it is
what do you Circle Jerks
do I tell the Butterfly fly in and get the lay of the land and find out like this give us some Recon all right it does so you have to talk to the butterfly I have I have a spiritual mental link to the you okay if I do my hands up and my my my Comanche war club in the air and I am overcome with a blue glow
if a butterfly does it go through stuff yeah it’s a spirit it cannot materialize I like Hart
Arts video song by the bar
I have a butterfly that’s going to fly around and do some Recon it does that and then returns and there they got a waiting room you know they got multiple floors grey kind of fly various going
my own various surgical operations strange accent for a butterfly three boxes of non-lethal you know what are we looking for we’re looking for a data are we going to find their data room right your butterflies eating data rooms but I saw no data room there is some sort of security room towards the top but that just you know had cameras and a chair in French the spelling of let’s just do this because I can straight like you know but little worker chime I’ll and I’ll grab pull up under the roof and find out vent
okay I got it
I have a I have a key Card Copier so I can give you a copy of the keys that maybe the guard has see if I can get it with my exceptional Charisma I’m probably I’m a stealthy guy so I’ll fake a seizure or something you bring me in like a person and then you can sneak in and I’ll try to see if I can like pinch a card
you got the card copy or now I will cast a spell
I will cast a spell on me the physical barrier I will create a dome and or wall of magical energy that is invisible
or something
invisible I can’t use my exceptional.
call Joe’s Pizza in the Maze I mean rage
maybe you could come along and use your doctor expertise to make it seem more legitimate than
legit
call me bones inside him outside so I can keep an eye on my goal is to get near a security guard cuz I’m going to see if I can take back of the car off Christmas people will come and help
but you were helping him pretend to be sick while you got the key to do a doctor’s note how to show my boobs and be Charming okay Doctor friend you’re going to be there to make it all look legit
the roof has a whooping cough couldn’t help my friend is sick he’s kind of seizures and I am exceptionally Prismatic you should listen to us
he already took his temperature it was really high I didn’t hear you guys aren’t you still in the car though
I thought check your boobs by 7 scope
alright I’m going to try to determine the future and Chris Matic no harm I could show you my Hippocratic Oath
doctor stuff where you at what are you doing I don’t want to be offensive
is dog dog panting syndrome
hidden okay baby
all these things and the receptionist person in the waiting area is extremely alarmed like is there a doctor oh we need help no no this is exactly what we need, Doctor I can help
just can’t walk around saying you’re a doctor
that’s a fair point
that’s perfect because I mean this is a clan of primarily for transplantation of cyber limbs we don’t really deal with seizures immediately
what do we do it cuz I have a twitch or something indicate like Sabre Sabre Athena Gun don’t worry
all right that’s the most horrible case of cyber-life see I’ve seen in quite some time you are really not good at your job
how’d you get this job Obamacare my right people am I wrong thank you
will we need to get you guys yeah to some sort of room Prodigy the ward C beta
any of these guards visibly have any credentials on them like they have guard credentials it’s part of their bulletproof vests is like a a number that’s projecting a sort of identification whole gram how do I steal that take the breast sing epileptics sing
in a cartoon-like way
Capistrano
arrived in the copyright
you guys are doing great where we going where we going to take me to the room here in the room now you’ve arrived to the guard stay inside with the rest go on their merry way out the door never said a merry way alright well this is the next thing I’m going to attempt and it’s going to get sloppy
I’m going to I’m going to stun as many of them as I can I’m going to send one of them and hope the other to get the hint
I did that the other two of my friends real quick can I drive to walk in know you have to walk in okay yeah I’m just I know you’re probably still in your corporeal body is probably still in Uber I think yeah
take it take it might but I’m going to I’m going to stun baton one alright you go in for the stun baton it works you hit the card right in the unprotected nape of his neck that’s not where you some other part of his neck he he goes down twitching and shocking like he is cyber lapsi
the other guard draws his pistol it’s just a pistol though
when I use my monitor my monocle somehow
comes into play. I certainly do
entry flashbangs. Monaco has three Flats
you guys you’re all in the room together
tear gas
here here is it helps Target recover from poisoning do you want to cast it to everyone and crying I have medicine I will use medicine I have one I have a lot of medicine at Six Flags take these three clicks you drug dealer in here
okay I admit now that that was the wrong movie
I’m a doctor.
Three tier gas cans in the room that you’re in
I take the medicinal herbs okay that I mean okay
what about that spell you mentioned yes oh
did I say I had an antidote that was spelled a Spell on You
some people won’t suffer from tear gas in this room
they want it sound like they want that the shop I mean I don’t know what I don’t know you casted Gana do it works it works and I have Jim Nightblade recovers the use of his eyes is cyber eyes he wasn’t really Afflicted I guess
what’s your gas affect more than eyes oh yeah okay your nasal passages he’s
dice dice stun baton the other guy I guess the other guard Ed goes down he’s crying on the floor
all right, I am I okay well you’re still in great pain
did Prince die
you guys should probably use it can they use my medkit totally
is that like a fanny pack
Smokescreen
thank you Andy Kindler for coming thank you Hannah for sewing and and helping
you know everybody else
I’m Jeff Davis account tell your Maryland what time is this your dad
thank you for coming happy Memorial Day to drive fast take chances
thank you so much

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