Episode: 151 – Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Episode

Episode: 151 – Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Description

In what has become an instant classic episode of Harmontown, Mayor Harmon is joined by Paget Brewster, Curtis Armstrong, Jeff Davis, Erin McGathy, Spencer Crittenden, Demorge Brown and more for a non-stop insane episode. Watch the video at Harmontown.com/live! Become a member!

Transcript

yeah
Hollywood California Meltdown Comics in the Meltdown showroom harmontown is now in session
are the Trump children Jeff Davis
Bridge walk over your judging Master Spencer Crittenden to the stain
can I please look at the mayor of Hermantown this Saturday
what date is everybody
I was almost going to pull my phone out and put my drink down for a physical ritual that has long oppressed me but I’m free now
Jennifer said to the audience his new Apple watch 4 they call Apple watch
Ever Evernote Evernote
world
we prefer let’s talk about the Apple iWatch Apple watch
no one calls or my anymore
they sure are Apple people
remember when we talked about is 8000 * blank grandparents stick to your grandparents probably to think that black people are supposed to be called colored people that that is blight you all roll your eyes at that I roll my eyes at that the National Association for the advancement of colored people however
bit of a pickle
stationery already ordered
what are those funny things that happens to the Spokane Washington Chapter of the n-double-acp was outed by her parents as being a tan white lady
after I don’t know how many years how many years do we know how many years she successfully 10 and healthy in the midst of the transgender movement which has everything to do with what you are born as does not define you absolutely not and then there’s an equally like totally valid like clearly obvious observation but like if you were born as a blunt blue-eyed lady you do not have the right to go to a tanning booth for is your hair and then say that you getting hate mail because you’re so black this is what this is all good in my opinion this is all fantastic more than I do seems like fun
they check your privilege as long as we don’t like getting involved we’re fine that’s the new political correctness we just get to say fuck it like like that’s us being the most open-minded we can be what are you doing Janet arishine Jane
just change or changing to tell you she has your Twitter handle correct for the fact that Jane has been the mayor and Distributors for us to find the absence of awesome Boos glass bottle too
yeah
this is really good this is fantastic
I have the dregs of a bottle of the party and I actually had a brother to a party dressed as David Bowie cuz it was a gram a glam party and the party is everybody there wanted to know how it how to get more of the stuff is really groovy and it gets you high school now
okay alright no okay cool fine we’ll talk we’ll talk later on
cuz I’m always saying it as the present away if you don’t want to be exploited the story to tell him I want to talk to you eventually but like like like I said like sweet me when the adventure is over this was sent to me I sent you the title of my book
that’s my week before the weekend hilarious name of Susan shipper and I was shipped to me first Class u.s. Postal and I opened it up and it says it’s a Scottish whisky and do which is what you put in your skilled do you mention it was through a rat is a nice that you keep when you’re talking to her I can’t help but why would somebody give me that and I looked at it a little Emerald on the side here it’s Emerald dagger Emerald
do you think that’s where is that from a Scottish man is the address in Scotland Susan shipper doesn’t sound terribly Scottish but I loved it was the address to return address don’t say it out loud. The wholesale Cutlery store in Arlington Texas
I also immediately got all these games on my watch so at any given moment little buzz and I’ll guy like that could be someone needs a kidney no spy Master needs to know if he should face down these dogs yes or no but they’re just they’re basically just like some guy like budges your Wi-Fi fictional High buzzes your watch every 6 hours to let you know he needs more training can you mind can you Minecraft can you can you cry when you can’t Minecraft everyone stop making fun of me which brings me to a new thing I don’t even mean that cuz I don’t take it personally because that’s one of the Four Agreements
by Don Miguel Ruiz which are my wife Erin mcgathy Turn Me On To The Four Agreements Jeff the audiobook it takes less time to listen to than this podcast but they have not done yet but I got into the first agreement but The Four Agreements are
it’s are you getting to watch
you guys are great it’s like The Simpsons were there all shocking each other and I get it you’re amazing but I’m just going to say it doesn’t take Talent
to do what you’re doing
it’s Italy its digital digital equivalent
doesn’t take any Talent you’re creating a Culture of Fear which is what I learned from this book anyway so it is don’t don’t train right now I’m getting my nose mix up
the first of The Four Agreements is this is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz so yeah I’ll look it up the audio book is 10 box which is what you pay to get in here it take 2 hours long so if you listen to the agreement are everything everything that works. The right now is a dream but that’s not new but there’s a famous song about rowing boats
and I’m not kidding I was thinking about that on the way here on my goddamn they hide the secret fucking Plain Sight
I didn’t know we watch The Matrix in row row your boat
I wanted to say the n word
ddu is it slightly slower we are all dreaming right now we’re all dreaming right after that was one of them because I don’t want to pollute that dream for other people because we’re in a shared dream house
no The First Agreement is be impeccable with your word and so that that that we’ll get to that I need to work on that one I’ll probably die getting that one right but the idea the cosmology is We Are All Made of light the Light Between Stars
easy to laugh at young man he’s believing he’s he’s laughing at the wrong shit
I’ve met him
3 minutes for the next 2 u i
who is Dad to senator
not waking him up the
we are all light what is that what is that what’s the implication of that why is that important
I know it’s just it’s a model of light is that a necessary principle for the rest of the agreements I think so
you taking it to the guys hole cuz my thank you
the format were being spread before me I thought that was a good choice
saving him for dessert
I couldn’t be more nervous I know idea I got to look at that delicious cake over there
you like a sexy cannoli sitting over there just that sounds good and I’ll tell you it’s for my book reviews
the cosmology is where made of light
and life is a dream like we’re all dreaming right now you dream when you go to sleep and yeah your dog also dreams and he’s like you know awake too cuz this is all an illusion or obviously the one you have in your sleep which me would make you think it’s more real cuz it will be here tomorrow but it also means it was here before you were born it’s it’s it’s still as artificial reality as the ones that you have when you go to sleep at night life is a dream we all share it and is that doesn’t mean bad it doesn’t mean less real than important that they just like it just to put yourself in that space where you think of reality everything that we’re living right now as a dream, immediately certain relaxes you and like all the great Mist that we’ve ever heard drive into that all of the Sacred texts like insinuate that including the Matrix and Inception
you love it you love it you do this guy loves Inception
I glanced at you and I was like what you wrote Inception will you please stand up and prove the
possible or is it a dream I think he also wrote For Whom the Bell Tolls
where is that was I think it was a joke about the power you emanate
it’s all a dream we are indoctrinated in the dream by way of agreement so for the moment you’re born you’re making agreements your attentions getting hooked by your parents for good reason they’re telling you this is how you live in this tree is with the alphabet is you call that adore you call that a doormat call it an elephant you call it an apple you you have to beat the idea is that human beings are capable of experiencing a thousand things at once that are at end end of living as if we are living in a dream of constant contradiction and never being certain about anything our brains are designed for that chaos but we won we took over the Earth and we have created a dream of very very focused very artificial things and the only the only the only problem with it is it reality is is it’s obscured by the smoke that we create between all of us who never actually he says that no granted I listen to this for a half hour and I turned it off but but
we’re made of light ball all matter is is is mirrors where it’s reflecting the light so every time you’re looking at anything with your eyes you’re actually seeing something as simply reflective of something else you’re not actually like you’re actually experiencing anything by looking at something so so we are all reflecting each other and we are all the truth is right in front of us but we have all been indoctrinated into a dream at through these agreements that we make with society that teach you to sort of basically operate on fear and I like everything you do you’re a good boy if you do this you’re bad boy if you do that you’re a really bad boy if you think that you’re a girl like you was being ironic when I said that
second generation
what is the odds of society I’m representing God damn it I hate these fucking kids
your light
it’s all a train we’re going to wake up when we die does it wouldn’t have nothing to do with afterlife or anything it’s just to stay there and also these Illusions about an afterlife like the the the hell that we describe and Christian mythology it isn’t it now like this is what the author says like this world of fear and hate and where anybody can do anything or your neighbor might break in your door and eat you or he might reward you if you’d give you a good enough boy or a bad enough boy like leg is all driven by fear and Prejudice and judgment and the end this is like like constant pursuit of like pleasing other people and hooking other people’s attention and having your attention to hook buy them when really what we are designed to do is just float and do all this stuff so before at the idea of The Four Agreements is to wipe away all the agreements that you have made to get this far wipe them all away and replace them with these four primary agreement number one okay
always
if you are number one another the first three are traffic oriented number one if your parking uphill always turn your wheels to face the curb
then there’s one of these agreements has something to do with little shits and whether whether or not just let it start talking about The Four Agreements
yay I hope that I hope that’s why I do that. And they’re all right I just scroll through they might watch some very happy I bought be impeccable with your word I am working like that
damn it. That’s not very impeccable all right when it mean to be impeccable with your word. The copy the chart glasses by the way only work for far away when I get my life is a dream the same dream where I’m not wearing props to make people like me
I got 20/20 Vision And I
now we don’t I fell into it
how do we know it’s all lies
be impeccable with your word
say only what you mean avoid using the word to speak against yourself or the gossip about others Jeff use the power of your word in the direction of Truth and Love Adam Goldberg
you’re what you’re doing the opposite of every time you wouldn’t you inject cuz you do is find a grievance if someone to tell you what they are
don’t touch it don’t touch it don’t take anything personally this is the one that led me to this because I was a big thing that I have in my life would I am I all of my conflict is based on the either I am taking to the personally that people didn’t mean to be taken personally or I am saying something that someone else is taking personally that I did not mean for them to take personally nothing others do is because of you what others say and do as a projection of their own reality their own dream when you are immune to the opinions and actions of others you won’t be the victim of needless suffering it’s easier said than done but that I mean it’s really I’ve heard that don’t take it personally I find myself not God you’re a fuking idiot rule number one
we’re doing great this book is stating Our Lives
Rule Number 3 don’t make assumptions find the courage don’t make assumptions pause
find the courage to ask questions I really like this one because I think this one actually like it braids and her identity seeking phase and like but it’s still this this rule I think really is important as we enter this sort of culture of awareness and progression and calling each other out for things that we’re doing wrong and stuff cuz I said a couple times of the podcast voice could we could we try to understand ignorant a little more than we are so real number agreement number three is don’t make assumptions find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings sadness and drama
with just this one agreement you can completely transform your life I don’t know why it says that cousins true man sitting on the other agreement
but I’m asking you a question why would you say that to your agreement shit together anyways so we start a text message
agreement number for Parker don’t fill up on bread
it’s you’re always going to want to fill up on bread it’s delicious and some particularly hot and buttery and restaurant but so is the food that’s coming they’re going to charge you for your meal anyway don’t fill up on bread
the reason this is the whole thing came up is because we were in Austin with Derek Waters a creator of Drunk History and Aaron and I were sitting at a table drinking and this bar and then The Four Agreements came up because Aaron had been counted them that this book in her life and she remember don’t take it personally is the important one the one that I think performers are constantly dealing with you make a show and somebody says episode was as good as this episode and white with a writer here is is you you’re a failure and fuck you and then you write an email and say Do Your Time Magazine fuck off I never did it but it’s like you’re taking it personally anyways that’s really good and then I quit there cuz we couldn’t remember it
when we saw what it was we we it was it’s always do your best and and all all the people the table
and then we all like why would we feel that way though it’s because like I think people who people who act direct stunt coordinator make chairs like I think there’s a I don’t know where you draw the line cuz I want to make assumptions I know what to be impeccable with my word and whatever the first one was the D but I do think actually somebody out there needs to hear always do your best but I think the people a lot of the people probably in this room and a couple people of the city of Los Angeles when they hear that they just go there more like three agreements alright but then we thought about her like you know what I think a lot of people out there actually like someone that worked at Enron maybe if they’d read that I would do your best and they’re and they’re like I’m doing my best yeah but really your best let’s see what he meant to you later about it cuz my truck that really the way you behaved
are people always do your best your best is going to
yeah okay I got to go
I got your tweets I Get It season 4 was great now
call hilarious dog coming to my watch
got my watch
y’all live on my rent now we lost Jeff always do your best your best is going to change from moment to moment it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to stick that’s it
dumb dumb agreement whatever I always do I try but I’ve talked enough let’s start meeting some friends cuz we got a lot over here tonight I really want to bring up the stranger that came into season 6 of community and nailed it
Miss Paget Brewster
give me long as I read that the only two things I remember hello Bubba don’t gossip impossible but don’t take anything personally because if someone is angry with you for whatever you did it’s more about them than you most people are insecure I am you are we all are so whenever anyone says what who’s not insecure who you lying sack of crap who said you know not you
don’t take anything personally because whatever and it was talking there there
screw up over and over and over and over again in fact Spencer actually says that at the end of the dumb movie with a friend is that a dumb movie if you learn it in retail
I thought I had to take a Job movie what you learn Enrique yeah you do you will you do or you get bitter
he still low to the ground do you guys have it I’m not complaining I love it here so fast table but yeah I know your ears literally elevated off the floor that I am on
enjoy it too much power as it is best if I could dig a hole
I would put them in a I would have his head like on the floor
powerful person that’s really smelly I got to remember that I know you don’t feel like I feel like I have agency like you know like lift lift a rock in like go to the beach and stuff you know I said that God and Hitler
personally
but I mean those are God doesn’t feel powerful at why would you make a universe if you felt powerful
Hitler didn’t feel powerful he would have stayed in art school
humility
where is the Hitler had humility
they had self-loathing God was not nothing he became everything
mother in the projects and he decided to be everything. Maybe I was not raised where the religion I was raised Lutheran but I’m making up my own perception of God like
Lutheran Lutheran Church robes and stand Neil stands Neil stand sit or kneel and pray leave Lutheran is sit at the original protestantism it’s Martin Luther Martin Luther was the first guy to say look religion should be accessible to the people I just sit and leave Bible should not have to be in why aren’t they in the dead language what are you with you but yeah I wouldn’t be one of them because what happened was is not Aramaic is not like it’s the language God was talking in the first place
just got to talkin
you’re saying damn that if you believe in a creationist mythology that God created the universe from nothing and created everything you think that’s an act of self-loathing and low self-esteem on his part if he has low self-esteem if you don’t they have something in common which is it
God have something in common, that’s Dan Harmon says got crucified for saying the simple fact of like people who are you God and he would go like well technically yeah and they be like that’s enough it’s fine and philosophical and inviting you to think outside the box I mean like yeah it’s not so I can get you laid at a Halloween party to come and do a ghetto in a costume that’s like Hitler but with a Halo
and he only what’s your point because Hitler was God know that’s not a good message to said he made a lot of mistakes cuz I do and I’m saying that I feel like you’re the one that digging this is I don’t like that one thing they had in common maybe they both like fried eggs but the one thing that I know that they had in common is that they weren’t happy with their Beginnings State God wasn’t happy is that you think that’s the creationism the my god the guy that I believe in just as all that we are in the mirror is that we all might be missing the whole thing we are
you’re still stuck in agreement that we’re alright remix are all stupid wear all white
don’t say nothing that’s the first one you light and a dream like how can how can ligers range for human and we’re sexual doesn’t matter. Matter matter is a reflection
sorry I don’t know what start
going to podcast the impeccable with your word when you say yeah where all the animals were all like that’s doing a bad commercial for him he didn’t say The First Agreement was buy into all this lightning dream map of the universe
he is the map of the universe is a model of the universe philosophically
I don’t think it’s functions yeah can we have a jar that you have to put a dollar in every time you judge somebody dropped the rest of the show
I want I want to keep this bullet train moving cuz we have so many here tonight
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, never misses a lot but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes related my own life so it’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like a verb you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
Reverend Curtis Armstrong is he right
Curtis Walker Street buddy said you were worried that I didn’t like you anyway don’t take it personally like when it when it when you did when you were when you were incommunicado and you were having fun with your daughter I started drinking too much and but that’s what you’ve been doing this a warm friendly
that you want Curtis to like you and you were used used to take it that way and then Leah Brett Leah stopped me in the street and she said you have to talk to Dan
I was outside a Ramen place and she said you have to talk to Dan because he’s very upset anything and she said that she stood up during the show and told you Dan know he’s an English daughter with me in England and I said well that’s all behind us now because you’re clear on everything we worked like for three years on a on a series and animated series called Dan vs. and some people up and go straight home and I never had a chance to so much we just rely on the time and then the show was great and ran and ran and then the network was canceled
you can never get comfortable I don’t know yet because it was on the house which was purchased by the purchase of thank you which done was purchased by Nickelodeon German your contract is over oh no wait you’re now owned by the Germans or some brightness
Dave and Curtis and I had so much fun we were like okay whatever Germans were fine.
Anymore it was just it was crazy I have not heard do it it was great for you I would do your show and a hot damn II RV to
I would throw ya colleague actor pretend I’m not here and I won’t take it personally and tell him everything what you would say if you ran into Curtis at an airport if you go I guess you just did a season of Dan Harmon show what was that like okay so sorry I didn’t write I heard that
I am a retread
Curtis you know what I’ve heard some weird things about that I know I know
flight 451 passenger sitting in San Juan right now welcome to but here’s a problem they’re so goddamn good that you will end up agreeing to have basically Stockholm syndrome you will be like fuck this guy so fucking good I I don’t know the whole cast is great no I know I know I know what you’re thinking
sky
how are you talking about this last night was like my dream is to horrible situation so that you have to say that I did I think that I think there’s some unconscious Drive behind me that like cuz I don’t think the time that I knew our time that I wasted or the Wardrobe supervisor time they wasted made the show any better I think all the things to make the show Good to be done very quickly and I think I I think I purposely or not purposely cuz I I don’t I don’t think I’m that fucked up that I do it consciously but I do believe that unconsciously I’m trying to put myself in a situation where Mommy and Daddy can say you’re a little piece of shit like we really didn’t want you you know Roe v Wade so close to your complexion
so close your photo finish
why else would I know
1973 Logan Ave photo finish
I don’t know I’m like okay now you’re talented private tonight
no no please God then if everyone could do it quickly and you did it the way you needed to do it yeah and that’s how it works out I mean it just you do it at the speed that you do and I would say to him in an airport or at Gelson’s Curtis where we usually where we knew each other nuts but it’s great really worth it you’re not oh yeah never works out that way you know he really mean you know it’s never been easy but it’s worth it because I would only stay about him believe my boy could you ask your friend for examples of people
haven’t been worth it
just cuz I’m a waiter and I’ve just I work at an airport at night this is all I have and I’ve always imagined that that’s what working with him was like nah. But it’s worth it if somebody pretending to be a waiter in at the airport
without boarding site see if you wanted to Burbank 73 are still going still flying smitter president mr. President we make contact with the president

mr. president I feel It’s Time to Get You Into the Bunker I’ll be at the alien waiters have invaded the Philadelphia Airport I don’t have any idea where am I
are the podcast listeners at home
pageant your ear the head of an elite firm that helps people with their public scandals before they happen but you’re having an affair with President Curtis which is the biggest Scandal of all and yet your job is to handle scandals
are you both just took a shet
can you can both smell it but you think it’s you but you don’t know but you both think of you cuz there’s two bathrooms and you both took a huge shit and you both sink
I don’t know if that important it is it the moment I found out if he had that meeting now it’s time for this meeting we’re usually you guys like it’s like your personal meeting I feel like the bit is you over explaining the impress
I would not disagree with that which is why I stopped doing a room full of eight people what temperature is it
Catholic nurse she’s a great actress and beautiful redhead Dennis Xbox
thank you papa I was just waiting to hear back stage now I think I have yeah what are they were those names those kids I love Rick really good long form improv like it’s so different from like Blake short for an improv is like it’s a parlor trick it’s like we we learn skills that we can use I’m saying we because anybody can I’m not saying I’m good at and I’m just mean like in short form improv which I was trained in its like they go okay here’s all these disciplines and here’s how you do seem to make 1/4 cup out of here and you could like like Jeff is you know does it like on national television sets a living National Television
analogy for short form in progress of long-form short form is like a dirt bike ramp every couple seconds so you don’t ever get that much runway and you don’t ever get that much are long for him is a lot of Runway and you build up a lot of speech apply for a long time is way bigger if you can make a joke land in a long form of July 7th a joke joke joke joke joke joke joke in another way another way to illustrate the difference is you could show up and walk into a room and go oh there’s only four other people here and for a short form improv show that pretty much that doesn’t mean it’s going to be a bad show come to the most memorable show of your life but but depending on what they how they react backstage but it generally means the short form improv engine is not going to get the gas it needs but if you come in and there’s four other people in the room the little black box funny watching like good discipline like long for him and proud people you I mean they may do it better show for for people that they could have ever done for 40 people it’s like you walk at it’s like a church I mean like if you walk
empty your I don’t know it’s like it’s so good
or whatever you want to use as your place holder
what we thought was really crack we saw it we fight in private then now theater in Los Angeles to be interested in long form improv improv community
he’s also in the thrilling adventure hour 10 years strong
I will do that as well Craig is coming up long-form problem for me and I heard I heard I heard I heard I heard I heard I heard rap all right
backstage we literally would not do this
that’s all I heard you heard
okay alright
oh that must be that rapping plumber I ordered
use music
I do not know your toilet but I don’t want you today cuz I want to help you differently and I my name is Evan
Okay Kevin will do the toilets pretty clogged no it’s not
well well well well well my name is Reverend blow Miranda
do I give you the Groupon now okay
hey honey and honey and I heard I heard that Kevin’s here no I’m not
Hitler and God’s world you know what I mean I’m doing okay
I know I know we’re only supposed to call the number if we feel threatened
what time is it
it’s no it’s not I didn’t even tell you what time it what are you didn’t do hours earlier before Kevin the rapping plumber showed up at the house
what’s better be good
oh god dammit I’ve been Plumbing this thing and it’s just not
I know honey and you’re so good at Plumbing this thing you are and I’m so sorry for making this mess
and I know that the only plumber in town is schizophrenic
why did we move to this Tiny Town
but we were down in Omaha and 73
doodly Legend of tree we had only $4 to our name so we decided to get a hockey team
still Omaha’s of Fairly large cities in Omaha
who is the mayor of hell
I mean when you’re back in the house house
who won the mayor of New York was on a flight to Omaha
I was so surreal there was so much security
the test came back it’s you not me I can have children and you can’t
would I make so much money as an insurance executive here in Omaha
all figures are subjects
well I better leave cuz you need to take a big shit
you know I know this sounds weird but I appreciate that you know what I need to take pictures of
I just read it on your face
and your impeccable with your word
all right
long-form motherfuker
country Cascades
credit card if you need to plug in the evening I think it is
you guys could come back now to the Seattle airport
The Intern
let me ask you a question
what are you what are you going to wear your watch just a you know that
Jerome Robbins no literally Frederick recognize game
and wrap it was Stellar thank you it’s all anyone will remember anyway
favorite my favorite 30 Rock 30 Rock what’s the best joke is my favorite one to the fact that Liz Lemon and I can’t even remember her friend’s name that that is the host of the original show whatever Jen is my favorite thing in Blade and Oprah Winfrey
who is why mangoes
it’s kind of centers or something that goes like those french fried potatoes
and then it just goes back
conflict with pan flashback that we’ve had to suffer that was that was made it all worth it was so funny
Craig has been my teacher and Coach a billion times over I’m sorry I am right now it’s time to say this. Sorry about the subtext starring together I’m sorry about going to be in infertility place
got it before don’t take it personal
I screwed up my favorite thing. Yeah but isn’t it awesome
we go buy that car
wait a minute I know I just something we do this all the time it’s really disturbing the first time it happened.
so you either real 911
the real the real biggest tragedy
you sexy dirt you
what’s 1 * 32
wait what was like a long time ago
alright find a day today I will not the one that brought it up you guys brought it up and they dated all right with you I find out now
really true but last time I worked with her there was another person involved in what we were doing
and it was this it was like oh original like the eyes getting all remember that and you know we’ll always dated a lot of your wigs by the way at my house is that we’re quite frequently
I got the red wig or short Red Wagon and the long run Mile and
that wig
I have the weirdest boner
not my joke, Bubba’s
play okay alright
text Sue sophisticated now but there was a day when
I lost a couple of wigs to Jeff Davis back in the day and that’s fine
woman lifts a couple of ways to Jeff
you want the person you want me to last
pageant do you have a very experienced and you’ve been very
I would have been something awful Miracle together and with other people but
that I don’t remember
apartments on his light up to this point
this is the most important moment because I didn’t want to be remiss and having you on stage like we referred it around and had fun but
you’re a performer that has been funny for a very long time and probably has admired by a lot of people when they watch you on screen and stuff and I was just misses an interview where I don’t to do my job is there a philosophy that you follow because your ability to as I wrote be the person who dropped it and nailed it lately you know that I wrote that as a Valentine’s for me I wrote everything you said motherfuker
for me to say in the last episode as someone who came in late and nailed it and I was so scared to say it because I didn’t know at that point if I had I didn’t know I just did to you and Erin doesn’t me all the time I’m so sorry when I know I was home I got something else in front of
eat fucking giant cameras 5000 lights 200 people dangling from Rafters you know like is there a different actors say different things about how are they able to do comedy or drama or anything in that in that totally artificial environment cuz all we see on the screen is it likes it’s because of the courtesy of the Craftsman who makes things look like a living room and looks like a room in Mississippi in 1950 like all we see is reality and then he’s amazing actors and we don’t realize that it’s like Jesus Christ that environment is so unnatural and you get it like particularly comedic actors are able to exude all of this like weird human energy is there anything you do do you kneel in front of a mirror in your trailer do you remind yourself that you have a manttra are you crazy this is I’m going to say this is Dad being a really generous thoughtful
man podcaster interviewer he doesn’t have to ask this no I wanted only thing I care about is like oh what are you up to promote a lot of them out there they don’t like be home with their families and and like the baby tickets course I’m saying you’re being very giving and loving and supportive and thoughtful and saying I don’t show up and you write great lines and that’s why I was there so what you do when I was younger I thought how does my hair look
am I hiding the size of my nose do I have on my wigs
where is my where did he take them boyfriend
how to pretend you’re in an airport with Curtis
I’m actually I think Curtis and I will be performing our long-form farting presidents and presidential aide improv at Gelson’s in Silverlake sometime over the next two months we’re not announcing the time you just have to look into being a Snorlax will tell you you have to be at Skrillex’s Instagram for the cameras I don’t I I I was thinking about this recently did I tell you about the finding my my booger biography
you did yes you said that was what I used to do I actually found in a notebook the because I was trained as an actor and that what you do is an actor is in order to understand your character you write a biography of it and no one will ever know what you’ve written but you’ll know and that’s why you do that and I found my biography that I wrote in 1983 for bulgur as to who and that was what I used to do I don’t do it anymore because no one ever gives me rolls where I where they actually started a place and then do dinner placed those don’t really happen that much anymore and that’s about to change.
thank you how is he
I just I liked it I don’t know what it would look like look like that’s what you’re going to do okay you not an improv guy so you if you’re really expecting Improv
you’ve already done more than enough in like Shadowrun to know if you get this is acceptable level of him proud of you just as you two can I see your counselor can I be your mother and I hired you to act like it was just it was deep has derailed let’s do this I’m your dad and I are at the breakfast table and I just found a joint under your mattress in your bedroom
hey Dad morning good morning you care to explain this
I I I I I don’t know what that is but you should is under your mattress come with the mattress
it’s not mine. I got to get to school you got the day off Mister cuz you’re going to talk to me because you could go to school every day for the rest of your life and you keep making choices like that not going to matter I went to Vietnam for you
not for my country I fucking hate America
I went to Vietnam for you
she said how old do you think I am
I think you’re 17 I’m 32
it’s 2000-2015 for you to get that mattress
it’s ostrich skin
it’s expensive I’m sorry Dad I’m experimenting I’m reaching out I’m trying new things fucking mattress that doesn’t care about your coming-of-age so I could have gone to Sears if I knew you were going to put chips and some fire under it said you were in nam did you never take drugs and not of course I did why didn’t put it on why are you yelling at me
mattress is ostrich-skin Dad I don’t smoke the mattress I just put the joints there don’t smoke them
this thing has brown at the end of it that means that when you put it under there it could have been read all right be careful I really I’m really glad that we had this talk though because you don’t talk to me that much and
let’s talk now
dad what are you what are you doing pouring a bowl of Grape-Nuts Subspace work
hello
had that was milk hello Dad it’s milk for your Grape-Nuts milk I just gave you the milk for your grape-nut son milk milk is calling me
make it milk I’m just sitting here with my son everything’s fine
look at your watch look at your
it doesn’t mean anything
it’s your watch flashlight
your son is important
dad you okay my son is important
Vietnam Vietnam Vietnam
Vietnam
my son is important
my son is important
County Line
my son is important
my son is important
I need a doorbell
my son is important
is this Don’s doorbells is your doorbell a real doorbell I thought it was assumed I’m sorry
oh I thought it was Don’s doorbells and that I assumed that the doorbell on the outside was just a I’m sorry
your son John
your son is important
your son is important Vietnam Vietnam thank you
you get the idea
Mike Myers most of them so young
Hawaii
are we still in the improv show. Should I run John’s doorbell
Billie eilish.
I love doorbell
I am my son’s father my son is important is important

yes and one
for one character really go from point A to point B Curtis that I thought I was going somewhere I didn’t really go anywhere Curtis I am going to do anymore. Curtis character development we save it for shadow
okay so we got Nightblade we got what we should bring demorge up here
a Cavalcade of stars tonight at Hermantown
oh yeah
good morning. Why don’t you sit here sit here and take this mic but I could stand
now I can meet you all right
we going to play Spencer is still sitting lower than the sea level is true I was thinking you know they also have power chairs it’s a real Confluence of factors here Travis were having too much fun thank you thank you I want you to help us play a game it’s like a role playing game Dungeons & Dragons is called Shadowrun we’re kind of like a mercenary is like like like the deal here I come again yeah I don’t have a character she perhaps that’s the problem she should do.
your friend your doctor friend I’ll do doctor print wait let’s let’s hear him out I was just thinking that maybe doctor friend may be what has happened is Doctor friend has going into sort of a time-warp time thing and has has changed and is now is now being played temporarily by Patrick we are actually I don’t know what’s happening we were actually have too many people do we have to have to see if we have too many heat on but I love I am willing to stand by the side effects of Phenergan cure everyone on maybe pageant which guy is it to get the character that you know of
what could she be some sort of NPC in Cumming Georgia I mean there’s all sorts of things that we could do successfully I mean I’m telling you now it’s just I don’t have a character sheet for an extra character so you don’t need to be a ever different than we do the day before I call those that guess that’s everyday
but maybe would it be okay if pageant was my memories yes to to go with us that what we do is try and find out about doctor friends Origins but it would have to be like I mean Spencer be off the grid off the map so yeah it would be a real problem show Fraser I mean you guys are the masters of that thing I think if I let you know special yeah yeah yeah I’m just yeah you guys got to do some lifting though not me
we even go to the bathroom now and do we need you for the you’re an actor and we need to go to
magic we’re going on a Magic Carpet Ride right now and you’re on board for this
for this to be happening I’m sorry
Cody M and then you go over it with Spencer and you guys together come up with the huge of the intro for wherever we are and set this is going to be
let me tell you that chairs around the height
share a folding IKEA chair over audience Dan Harmon
he’s crazy but he’s great thrilling adventure hour were you I know radio.
Music character she’s a friend he is a describe your character to her briefly to the extent that I understand it
doctor friend and I don’t really doctor friend is a part of the gang he is a medical man but he’s a medical man who is Disturbed and he has a cast but no one really knows what that is and I’m only things that he’s done in the course of this is he has powers that he can he can use on people like I’ll tell you what my God he can do he can do healing power source of one of our adventures if we if we get hurt if somebody gets hurt and is Dying Light healing and everybody has powers of some kind just gets kind of a magical world pageant but it’s also the Future Stars tickets technological but there’s also spells and Magic so it’s like the future and a lot of criminal activity and also and
Seattle I have no tonight is just focused on the mysterious pasta dr. Cruz in Plainfield with the rest of us only only Curtis knows what is very competitive and I want powers in a file a special one-off episode exploring the origins of a of a character what year is it when were normally playing Shadowrun 2074 and how old how old do you think that your friend is oh he’s a good 27
what what is today’s 47
yep
what would somebody say
3646 20:46 Our Story begins in 2046 a d at Baltimore General Hospital
Ivy overruns the decrepit building which has not been the same since the fall of the hospital and the Health Care Program
served here but they’re never happy to be served they only have to be we move through the front doors of the hospital and down the decrepit all and start to pick up the whales of a woman giving birth
we enter the delivery room certainly not the most sterile one we’ve ever seen
that’s right keep going he’s going breathe bush
why I’ve never done this before you assholes
why am I afraid he’s all right we’re in the hospital people are looking after us nothing can go wrong come on no no I tried to reach her but there’s no answer on her on her chip phone she’s having casual sexual relationships with
if you hear from Anastasia just tell her to get here now she’s I’ll try her again it’s all I can do that’s a Gerber Gerber anesthesia dining room one.
There was a
27 years earlier right I was wrong I thought I was still doctor friend and in fact I’m still
someone who knows I’m in there I mean there I know you there
there duck
so now I am her doctor who I am in my office I want you to know what’s wrong don’t you realize that you’re the brother of the person who is the father of the child your delivery right now and I know it’s going to look a lot like that doctor right there listen to me what happened to us was a long time ago okay but we need help and long-form improv him stop calling doctor craik house key
Vermont Corner privacy condition critical condition. I was playing golf what can I do
well
Indian prices and I I thought I knew what I was doing Peyton didn’t cry since you guys early you’ll never see me again
I’m interrupting this very focused feed about the origin of a character to let you know that at this point in future Syfy history big shit is happening for a gum style on the Tel Aviv look
they all look to the TV
a news report about something well it seems that Vitas is back again it’s 12 in the nation faster than ever before we got babies turned left ways babies turn down ways and adults turn back ways it’s not ugly world you got a not touched anybody don’t even bother wash your hands cut off your hands
wash the stumps we’re talking Vitas it’s back baby I’m out of here
have you guys made
don’t be offended by this but human
God please look someone someone take this metal card with a number sketching it officer Gerber your brother’s number is listed there if you could get in touch I’ll have a look at that number if I could
Obama
look no one no one no one trust you since the pickle Scandal of 2014
that’s fine we’ve got a quality.
I are strangely enough
don’t know what it is and I was just hanging out today that its throat
God damn it I’m a private doctor in OBGYN
either stream
what’s a shame mom
they tried I’ve heard you talk about that sometimes but you never really explain leaving a little bit when I think he’s old enough
he is old enough to hear the story of how Obama came to the hospital and you slit the throat of a Ghost Rider light he is old
that has been distilled into a sentence by the way in the back of cars are flying
dad never going to goddamn happen I want to be around a whole much longer do this damn to fly in the car is closed until that horrible Scandal came along and I want to tell you this before I pass a long Sunday okay what you to follow in my footsteps and be a doctor however you do understand that you’re not like the other people boy
what do you mean have you ever noticed anything weird happened to you at night when you’re laying in bed all alone
come on come on really really there’s nothing there there’s nothing better in Ferrisburgh it’s time to go to bed but it’s looking Rudy there’s something wrong he got his leg caught in a tiny Rudy’s in a hold of Kenny Hill him you have the power to heal you have the power to heal heal heal heal and everything your mind
I do remember it but I thought it was all a dream it wasn’t a dream or not online that’s horseshit
where real people were here right now
I want to make one agreement with hewison okay grandson that is
you or you were contaminated at Birth by vtox and you’re you’re going to suffer some very special skills and some very special special detriment
a doctor explains vtox
completely lethal it’ll kill you and 100% of situations unless maybe some crazy shit is in your jeans like you have troll stuff I’m a doctor
Cambridge bells on the scene of friends grandpa dying and we dissolve to the perfectly manicured Lawns of an ivy league medical school
Frozen Ravens are our more prominent now than the kegs and date rapes of old
so it’s this good there’s a couple ways the future will be better
there’s more education there’s where I put into this like sex and is no longer about just what what diseases you can get me actually tell kids before they get horny about consent do is zoom in on a medical procedure and medical medical class
I’m here to show you another Medical College you should go to when so what do you see
alright okay thank you mrs. friend and I think that will put an end to parents day here at Medical School
if that’s what you say never approved of it it feels weird now condition and what is Human After All mr. friend perhaps you’d be more willing to answer that or does your troll nature confuse the issue not good enough weird
chamber pushes through those students in lands on a troll like doctor friend now 21 years old from inside his mind a voice speaks do you like you like trash.
Mitral DNA has nothing to do with my work as a doctor
what do you call it
I spent a year in France
hologram John F Kennedy ivy league medical schools
for the surgical in nanotechnology
no technological devices in the bloodstream
having tea in the whole person get up and tell me about nanotechnology yes you all have to start listening to the new world C and acceptable unto God or any of the rest of you and I’m going to prove it to me as friend speaks sweat drips from his armpits in a way that is inhuman and a create puddles beneath him
Peppa Pig face begin to melt like butter in a microwave
blood goes into a signature that says Doctor friend to 2,000 something but it’s a courtroom it’s a futuristic courtroom. Your friend is in shackles facing a hologram of a judge daughter friend
is it in fact your contention
he’ll be the man that you will as a human device the story of a girl who had a mere humans, which has been eradicated for some decades but his parents that they could not heal this young man that did not give him syrup of ipecac or Sudafed or whatever crew is inventions they had at that time is it possible that you are a non-human doctor claim to understand that human will work with my client
yes, prosecutor Sanders has many times before if you could please rephrase your into a single sentence
orderly will now miss Emily
your objection was about an improvised don’t take it personally I’m just a loyal as that Latinos would say abogado in a three-dimensional situation but we have added a fourth dimension and a Fifth Dimension and I’m reminded of Sophocles who wants said good Lord how is a person to defend themselves when is the opening of courtroom drama is unfolding a weird green Vapor starts feeling up the corner of the cracks in the doors
yes yes Jeff talked about the gas and coming out of the room there’s gas
I’m sorry to weigh in on the
with the gayest coming from Bellflower is the gas itself flows from amorphous diaphanous to solid and picking.
I remember but I told
you at this gas makes me want to say everything I never did I wish I would have taken a bath flower hit a man with my car in the back of the car and dropping dead and suffocating pick up green vapor and emanating to the room cuz it’s such a dramatic juxtaposition doctor friend as if he’s not the one making it happen gives his final argument about himself
I am a troll but I’m more than just a troll I’m a troll who cares deeply about all species
you all right now
did you see my head
I was adopted I just realized I’m adopted can I change your call all of you going to regret this day because I’m going to right now clear the green frog from this room just before you die hey daddy you are going to see that sort of
as the green fog clears there is nothing left but a sea or Galley is they call it Gallery what are they calling the Colorado prodigy prodigy project sabotage
corpses Corpses
sonographer but I know works from going to college is a gallon of dead people it’s a bit surprising that the troll would surprise me with science I have a lot more well you know portable lot of all calls in between those two characters who are immune to Green gasket
Rolling Stones Q Blair’s as we cut to the inside of a cyber Tavern
everyone died.
The song is used every time you like $45,000 every time you use it
what does down the bar the dragon president has been assassinated are infected with the DRL viral viral Nanos Burlington same agency as your new president Herman Cain
you know folks once asked me what would I do did I if I did not win this election and I said I would make mayonnaise
in fact I did win the presidency and I’m still going to make mayonnaise I am reminded of the movie Motion Picture Officer and a Gentleman in which Richard Gere’s character’s name was male but his nickname was mayonnaise
we arrived at a lone doctor’s friend
now fully troll now fully alone he’s nurses his in descriptive drink lips
and mutters to himself dramatically
do you think of this year
I wonder if I wonder if I’ll ever get over the guilt that I feel for not having cured all of those people in the courtroom
why can’t you save me you’re in this cramped wounds you know what the thing is Obamacare. Obamacare and french fries
you talking about saving people the camera swivels to reveal A trenchcoat cloaked troll of a different Age Nursing his own drink he knocked back the glass with the air of an old-school drunk before turning his yellow Gaze on his racial compatriot
fuck people fuck them all
what do you mean what how many favors have they done you
did they make sure you they give a fuck whether you live or die doctor
no they didn’t my name is detective Emil trolling jerk
It’s a German name but I was originally Jewish
think about how that feels because of the moment when he became German and not Jewish
or not why is Ellis Island still open what are you saying to me that this world was a world
is the world we saw came after this world
this is hell my friend that is divided into two groups of people people who give a fuck a people who live to see tomorrow my name is detective trollinger I used to be a cop until I became a fucking troll
first shadowrunners as you call or visit check this number you could get involved in that war, why wouldn’t you just lose your hearing are called with the troll Community cause the inner critic and ice cream. I like to go to Martha’s Vineyard get a vanilla milkshake
that’s our curse
are you going to order something I’m trying to run a cyber Tavern
hair trollinger very hard to achieve something in my life and I’ve been knocked down every time I stood up you must be the only one sound of my eyes rolling so far back they rolled back around and came up from the bottom and are forever owed one rotation of trolinger’s says this he starts to feel his heart beat harder and harder
bum bum don’t save me don’t save me okay so maybe when you break the rule this time
that goes against my code I have to save you I Can Do no harm
River Renegade
when I was studying nursing right I just want to say you always sit on your haircut when you started and everything but seriously it was so cute oh my God but I have probably been dying in the far back to the present at Hank’s Last Stand where doctor friend was revealing his past to the Gang
we’re just being nurses
fucking do shit all day long and you guys don’t even know what do you do in the future
we moved from the planet into the vacuum of space slowly to the center of a universe or God
float in the center of all reality
God and Hitler watching a sitcom called
turn on the Upper East Side and they have girlfriend and they’re gross and we’re crazy but God closes over the top of it stopping Maryland
I don’t have a problem with the way you treat yourself like he treats himself so bad lately Amy of him.
Benefit harmontown
the most Brown
Erin mcgathy Spencer Crittenden time Jeff Davis Curtis Armstrong everybody
Paget Brewster
Enderman rap by Dan Hartman Christopher up and Sarah Hill and Jack McKeever or back there doing all the technical shit every week Trish and Sarah doing the live streaming Giants games are laying down the Texas Blues on it
Florida Credit Union please
I think

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