Episode: 168 – Live From The SeeSo Launch at the New York Television Festival 2015

Episode

Episode: 168 – Live From The SeeSo Launch at the New York Television Festival 2015

Description

Harmontown invades The New York Television festival for the launch of SeeSo, a new comedy streaming service and the home of our upcoming show Harmonquest!

Transcript

no turn up a little bit
is it going to rain
what’s that now was it called
will eventually I see her here somewhere in New York City
please welcome
is it used to be either go to be some changes okay the truth is normally in a small intimate space or two but I will say we were watching all the very funny content the levels very low it’s like you should blast the people with the with the funny stuff are they okay someone sarcastically turning up now there is a competitor all right
we don’t have anything to talk about. Let’s keep it moving
why would that be there where I bet that is how insane I don’t want to talk about it
but Angry Beaver stuff for the Ted be that’s that’s the only thing I’ve ever been stung by I stepped in a dead be on a beach much as I read ready to be staying would ever hurt so I was like died when you stepped on me and I gave you what I could and I was like it felt like a little piece of glass and he’s like noted and he died of my life serving The insectoid Hive minds and by the way the final jokes to be on you
so did you and you figure it out a divorce but but the B was a big deal
I’ll never forget to do that would be to deflect any real emotions right now digest version of of are normally fast-paced show
what is heroin made
this is a mismatch here yeah yeah yeah
I am a fall down
what’s the score of Visual Arts the Golden Age of TV the money is gone but the content is the table right there for the front okay kind of a surprise when you needed it must be nice to give it to see if you receive it to give it yo you got a drinking problem
Channel virtual collaboration I thought your mama all across the nation what happened
this is this is
so far this is a lot better the last few though you thought my divorce advice corner is about please don’t give me advice about my divorce like most people I was actually uplifted like my wife and we got married we we decided not to be married anymore so there’s like two categories of people where you got like you let people know and it’s like weird it’s it always feel shame for you feel like you spilled like just jelly like like like her something anything why do I get you anything nothing should be spelled let alone like a lifetime together in and 11 months after you threw a big party and said
her father and I swear to join the Boy Scouts and getting like one yellow bead and then just me and like yeah but I like computers why do you wear them you don’t put them in your butt Center
play loves us but doesn’t everybody but I mean I don’t think they get beat so what do you think now they get like like solar panels like Monster energy drinks or something scholarship and I don’t know when to tell you this but yeah it says most people are like it’s kind of a nice cuz you’re already in a shameful place in the most people they both say oh I’m on my third like like did you have kids and you got no and then go to the Bullet Button
did you try to make it work
and most of those people and it’s like it’s like just strangers that like don’t obviously you’re talking about yourself I’ll be asleep like I know I didn’t I I thought you know we just we got married and then we thought you know what would be fun and pleasurable and inexpensive and an easy and and and the path of least resistance and let’s just do it without thinking about it let’s get divorced like we didn’t think about it thank you so much you asshole you terrible terrible person what why is it that when married people here that you’re getting a divorce some of them not all of you but they they all feel like they’re allowed to tell you that you made the wrong decision but if divorced people tell married people the same thing even though the divorce rate is like 80% so there’s way more of us
if you tell if someone says I decided to get married and you say I don’t know about that
oh. So
what are applying it is always the same thing it’s like oh marriage is hard marriage takes work so your your it’s it’s it’s combat rules it’s like if you’re a veteran you’re allowed to talk about 9/11 more like you’re allowed to like if you did if you’re even if you’re a reservist even ain’t in any capacity if you’ve ever worn a uniform like you’re more of a hero which is true like you you volunteered yourself for like a hard-ass like like life-risking work and so anybody that ever says like this time and then knowing is half the battle and you’re like a lot of pain so I kind of shit I can’t argue with you just want invite you next Christmas the same rules apply to combat as to marriage
why are you married because it’s not a fight and you should just get divorced
just like combat rules in combat if you’re like this is hard and you leave that’s called losing a war which could have Global repercussions in marriage if you like this is hard we should leave that’s a victory that’s one of the two most beautiful things a couple can do in addition to getting married
because it takes just as much bravery and just as much respect for the other person and just as much like I I cried just as much
like it’s like it’s a beautiful thing and most of us do it we get married and then we get divorced
when you get married again do you think at this point I know well yeah I mean Evan Shapiro maybe but you like
I’m at the gala but I want to make out with a bunch of paper with hair his hair is really good I think I think it’s so he’s got something special going on alright next video demand platform thing is that you could have just finished the hair model all right so okay well I’m racist I wanted to bring that up
how many pints
I really am official now because I’ve never doubted it for a minute and now I’m right you can cross the Rubicon of of obsession about rent and I crossed it today cuz I was like that I either stayed in the hotel or whatever if it’s like black and white photos and so it’s like I don’t have to like the 60s Vibe and that’s the guy laying in bed and I like looking the camera like he’s like I just checked into a wall of famous people and I’m from LA and sound just like I just pictures of famous people that remote from the sixties and stayed here and I was like am I racist or is that Morgan Freeman and you’re like no that’s Jimi Hendrix
and I’m racist old not old enough the picture of all the paintings that I can draw it out for you there was what he thought was Morgan Freeman surrounded by David Bowie and Mick Jagger Baker to be fair a lot of those pictures I thought were Julian Assange
and like a friend of mine from high school and eyebrows
happy happy and sad but but I also don’t want to fight and the other a summer worse than I’ve ever even think of the tenable form of racism anymore that’s self-defeating racism hang back and notice race
until I guess I’m one of them I didn’t want to be I don’t want to be I hate this white skin off my skeleton and throw it in the garbage
end the end the end the end the end the end the end God will ensure that happens but in the meantime I’m a holdover I’m a strange like skeleton in the museum
what you’re saying about race is also that you hang up about like like men women me uses the stranger the friend like I said talk about other because the word baby but like strangers like you have a reaction to anybody like you have a reaction because you feel like I don’t reflect on you in some way that you take an Asian guy walking into the room personal
brother usually there to kill me
Pink Panther thank you Evan Shapiro problem with he confirmed that he’s racist and Page Six for sure what do I got to do it again on the front page so so there’s a there’s a lot of Germans in the hotel or stay here we go here we go German contingent dwelling in a hotel right now or they’ll just like I don’t know if it’s at the hotel I don’t know who cares I’m walking around them. I’ve seen a lot of like blonde people and I’m hearing like Shogun.
until I got out of my hotel and I get to the elevator and there was a couple and they were waiting for the elevator to go ahead and push the button and I know that that’s if there’s a German stereotyped that they just thought that the elevator should heed their call I don’t know that’s not I’m sure Jeremy’s are sick of that stereotype for them and and and and then it is very harsh conversation is like 800 countries who cares about any of them unless you’re going to have to get into the elevator at but he waits for her to get in and then he waits for me to get in
so I’m like allright like so weird German emasculation technique that I can use for a partner or sister or I don’t know who I am not assuming anything but he let her on by the way according to what is a T-Rex a water elevator you would be surprised at what is actually etiquette for elevator to be that do you let the men go on for as in case it’s going to fail at that they will be the one to die because it hasn’t been like actually updated since elevators were dangerous so it’s actually if you want to go by actual like books that have been published on the topic the actual etiquette is that a man is supposed to take the plunge and get on to This Disaster is new laser
transporter limit to his death break us out then he’ll just like drift into the parking I was turned in front of the curb that’s it says your woman is going to like slide into the street if you’re in San Francisco
Steve McQueen’s coming to get a little French connections going to happen if you just lost a woman look so good. Next time if it raining outside was walking on the inside of like that because it makes her look like a prostitute right cuz you supposed to walk with it’s it’s finals and prostitutes any other day that you opening page and then that you have the kid like he’s supposed to gas is in a puddle I practically world oldest profession I’m content with the lowest places
puddle
anyways so I got in the elevator and then it’s just I don’t know I don’t know if they were having a thing like it was curse or if that’s just German regular
stop like like like like today today seem to be family or your perception and everybody should go fuck themselves by my perception has a fucking retarded god dammit my perception is that that worried that my sister is retarded and my dad who used to be a man to fuck all of you I wrote it all right should get out get out to buy a Bud Light ideas easy it was to curse in the elevator and I wasn’t sure I don’t know cuz this is stereotype of the German people I don’t know but they were quiet but here and then so then we ride down and silence and he’s running like a ski jacket and and she stared forward and he was sort of like a 45�� angle and I’m starting forward to and I’m at the at the door

Lobby opens up and is a pause and then she stepped out and then I’m just waiting because now this thing happened up there I just like to look over at him when he’s facing the Eddie goes like this it goes please
and I was like Hans Gruber
give me the silent in 3 seconds away from her know it doesn’t happen in the same elevator today going up to my house and there was a family of French people teenage children and they’re all like kind of giggling and laughing in French which I only know a few words of and they were kind of laughing and then I came in and hit my button to get to put the card back in so she kept the wife can put in the car and I kept hitting the button but if somebody would come in and by the way to keep doing it until I made a joke and it’s never going up
Tommy’s not right I look back around and I was like he knows he knows everything we said we were throwing him what we thought it was cryptic French shade
look at this guy is wearing the jacket he’s wearing a jacket.
Heterozygous
I think bread and breakfast
I get was dead and I don’t know why well that’s probably get the bread isn’t made by Tyson Foods a big sponsor of sea salts making bread inhumane Tyson you thought yeast was beyond mistreatment but you should see the videos YouTube it it’s just guys like stabbing with toothpicks just like a yeast and they’re just like hitting the yeast and they used to go out like they found more things about you say capacity for intelligence just from the abuse, has consumed more sugar than give off more carbon dioxide if there if they’re living in the state of Terror that he’s died scared so so crabby all you want but I guess for Christmas if you know I just think about it for a little bit
probably aren’t familiar with complication or dichotomy
hey. This probably isn’t like a new thing but there was a country station playing on the do you have any country western singers in here and I just parsing this like I cuz I’ve never really paid attention so the idea is I listen to Three country songs in a row so the idea is so you love Outlaws
because you have to but also the Bible
because you have to and chicken and beer because you have to and then just freedom freedom is the most important thing the freedom to like the Bible and alcohol
what is the Iowa caucus all my fans are outlaws in The Outlaw style is here we like to go shopping at Kmart and they be so that’s terrible that they think I feel bad for them they’re like I like I’m an Outlaw but I like the Bible and I like bad nutrition and I like I meant I do too but I don’t consider that Outlaw Behavior I consider that actually the moments when I’m most capitulating yourself more of an outlaw more like a pig and a trough that I might proud of it I’m like this is good like I I know I never go like plus I’m an Outlaw if I did that I think that would be dumb
amplify my voice, not what I used I used I used lack of law to amplify my antenna guys with big mustaches with grease in them like like good people to put up telephone poles I don’t know why call La like it’s like the more laws than even just our loss of math in school is like I can’t I’m going to spend the summer doing math stuff that’s what the Bible is it’s like extra law but it’s like long as it don’t even make sense but they added him to the Bible because he did that is that what they’re hoping there’s going to be a third test in Jennings
this is how you doing I’m an Outlaw in me yet
article about me about how I went shopping and pork bun she got I want a Bible about me
first of all by my definition you have to learn more cord that maybe the dance moves could use a little punch up
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually know a mrs. But you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes out the themes related my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like a verb you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema what Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
how are you doing at times have I filled a half hour to go to the second segment of our of our Cavalcade of stars tonight okay it’s about my personal life which is very uneventful I got into the elevator another time this is what I do when I come to you with a rich tapestry of ideas
Idaho my room is I’m not giving to change the numbers if you want to come kill me just to come kill me because I know how to rid of a palindromic number like this I typed my room is in 6:11 but I got to thinking it’s upside down and I thought I thought it was in Route 119 sounds like I’ve never been because of this New York is everything else would you go to Walgreens in vitamins are 30 miles in the sky are there was just some kid with like a luggage rack and I said hey I want to go and I held up the thing and he’s like I think that 611 and I died I turned it upside down and I was like oh and the door is closed and I turned to the ladies having been raised in television and movies and I said I don’t get out
how much things that you might be Adept at is number reading the ones that you can practice at the said I was funny I don’t get out much yeah you don’t get out so much but you use the line I don’t get out much as you think that that’s just good like makes sense and it doesn’t their friendship and the other one was like shrugging soccer formation and the other was like I Surrender and I was like but it’s going to cost you $70
it’s part of a 50-year plan don’t worry we’ll be done by 99 okay I’m racist divorce Germans country brundlefly whenever I was driving what do you call a driver’s vehicle I didn’t come here a truck he and he said he was drinking it like it was Silence of it was driving and then he’s like driving for a while and I was really I was just out of cute New York high caused by the way my new I’d like five or six visits to York I’m like wait a minute. Is that everyone’s friendly like like it’s not used to it was like an 80s thing that was like
what’s the city where they all live together so they’re like all much more socially Adept and everyone that comes here and you’re always like leaving here going like all that was really nice everyone’s shoes but they’re like colorform issues it’s like I have to take these issues are fun in there they’re nice and I’m going to collect them all the New York love I was like I was like I’m so tired of talking about how much I love New York I know it’s so as I was just quiet and then the driver went because I was quiet so I’m reading it I was driving the
producer one time Todd black and he said you know I don’t know how it is you do what you do silence and it was like now I hate New York
and I know how you do what you do you press the gas pedal in the light turned green and maybe would have been if he didn’t do that and then said to me and I’m like well now he shouldn’t have you know I’m not sure either but what his angle was what your angle is on the way it is he saying no it was like there was silence and he was like this is that moment when someone says with me and it’s not happening so he was like it’s funny you should ask I am kind of a hero
I don’t like I didn’t I was about to maybe come around to saying that after I caught my breath for buying a jacket and now you’re going to enemy and I hate your whole city
hate everyone in it
yeah
can request all right so we’re going to create a division here that was that was just for a press release just just that was just 40 mg and BuzzFeed and now we’re going to give you a sneak preview of harmonquest content right happy animated right we’re going to play a fantasy role-playing game with celebrity Got Talent
I know what you’re thinking why aren’t you
although it’s been tested for eight eight years
cool alright Dave anythin ya everybody all know which ones Dave
point out of the hot one and you know how to say we’re good okay so we’re at we’re going to play a half hour okay just to make sure that we have a half hour into the night get up and go pee and drink at some point
I mean use your voice if you have information for us let’s go we got 10 minutes lightning around I’m running
D&D role playing $15 right now and I never played it before Spencer lead us off with one of Spencer’s fantastic intros will know you won’t I don’t know why you think that
the thing is this is a stand-alone story it’s like a microcosm of what we’re going to bring to you but we’re going to bring to you with harmonquest is actually it’s been written by me in terms of it like you know the D&D story and I have all this time to prepare but this is like a 10-minute you know I attempt at recapturing that magic without any of the expertise or prep work to set up for success rate
I just want to set everyone’s expect we all know I’m to record for an hour we’ve all done it with its own record for an hour and 10 minutes so figure it out he takes it seriously is the point is yeah you know that’s what I saw that the Dreams of Sushi really high maintenance meal for you I hope I don’t eat this wrong it’s it’s it’s our artisanal I should charge $700 for this this insane is that really what you pay for sushi ya
all right so now we get we get sheets top-to-bottom minutes left of the start and we’ll go party character named fondue Jeff you’re playing a character named boner we’ve all I can do it you’re at the Earth’s core Ale House The Local Tavern around these parts it’s a dreary place for the lost souls that wander through town and join the strong bruised and dark Corners your sat at the bar
if I do I’m really drunk or I’m really drunk right now do I know him yeah hey do you know me
all right we don’t know each other well but I like we come to the same bar all the time we speak but you’re always in a blackout drunk you’re a giant what are you at work or something is a little Goblin I just a little little probably what three feet your conversation is interrupted by the arrival of Two Gentlemen are not Brothers they’re they’re clearly of different races was a half-orc and ones an elf are we are seeking the crown of the Rat King which might be found in the Tomb of the rack change
Brian divorcias
and I am the bestest
I pulled him aside like I go to be I have heard that it’s in the two of the of the Rat King I heard he told me knowledge of nature or the local local area to do I know where they’re at Tim is Spencer everybody knows the Tomb of the Rat King is in the forest outside of town drinks. Get the hell over there and do nothing or trying to find the crown sings It’s like a divorce you want to get the stuff set up before you even do it right
Make a Porno so it’s quick
I don’t know if I should do it no right let’s go. My eyes out side with the mules sweet how many wheels does this wagon have two wheeled Wagon Wheel wagon Center the horses at work as front wheels those other two wheel just fell over but the horses holding up is there a safety harness on this wagon to ensure that I didn’t buy the things for the money shot let’s go let’s do it we shall go for the shot of money questions about the safety
slide with a tree will you already refused the call back in the bar you noticed a few of the Wagon Wheel the fair how do you reach the you’re so small how do you reach horses
architect it’s been tasted I like to taste the harness my brother when you find yourself outside of the rap kings tomb of a massive Slab City in the forest outside of town this black monolith seems to absorb all light grey stone door sits in the center with golden scripts crawled all over it is also a doorknob I don’t think we should I don’t think we should have left that bar
where is what you you drove anyway Sky’s right what do you think you’re the ones who are here

trip to see if it’s a language I know I sent Dwarven says touch the door with your left hand and then just turn the knob and push I know a trap when I see one fellows can I check to see if this is a trap oh yeah let me see her not trapped
that’s good all right somebody go put the left hand on it and turn it I shall put my left hand I will not use my stunning fist but I can if I want to just letting everyone know yeah
wow
it is stunning permission to the open door with my left arm has been revealing a staircase headed down words around many Legends I’ve never seen your like in the tavern
fancy talk Game of Thrones on my face do you notice
the Wrath
I told that right one day that I would find its ground but in the meantime I would tattoo him to my face it was in the background tattooing myself to he’s my best to get the crown back to the rats don’t fuck with these people they ended up worshipping them yeah I’m a big rat for shipper you fed the trolls you should take time every once in awhile until 9 RADS thank you I like my show too
do a do a ratio of 3 to 10 that way when they say fuck a little time we know not what you speak of, no not at all
we’re inside the tomb right now Spencer oh yeah this is the staircase though oh you too dark out of the corner of your eyes fondue you can see you can see is Boll Weevil heads down the stairs the brothers they seem to be drawing their weapons as they can ambush
do you believe that story I see
yes I go back up the stairs
I only went down if you have little only went down like three stairs I’m back up exactly batiks can I chase him down I think you went up though you don’t everybody I guess I better.
Steps so I keep a height advantage of the playing field and I draw my Rapier here but it’s official sword and I apologize
I shall put my stunning fist away
Sterling Fest
you guys are in some sort of standoff situation
all right now everyone is drunk. Everybody has to die here today in fact nobody has to offer a tree token
it’s a strange am booked by Ambush tactics
Honey Tree tokens
tell me more now that you’ve got nothing here you just walk away and let us have this wrapped treasure for ourselves I continued up the staircase while they’re having a conversation that’s the computer is a downward staircase I think I want to get to the scram before they do and then I’ll have the leverage suppose I took your token and used it to once a month
bye
unlimited to access all previous Adventures
what’s up with the pictures speak in speak out everything but I don’t know what happened there and everything that NBC is ever owned say Nathaniel Craig I examine the bottom of the staircase its walls are peppered in fist-sized holes you can hear the chittering of Matt of mice and rats
wish I was shit
fist-size you been here and punch bowls down here you have a stunning fist right
and I will go on the other side of the holes if there’s a door that leads me to that area and I won’t know who’s punching through those holes because it won’t matter will make it hotter
glory be to us in this world of holes
I’m just trying to anything I can do
turn to the dwarf over here dealing with this crap let’s just get this Crown we shall form an alliance like this by rat that’s what happens when you draw swords on people on stairs
so he tries every hole and doesn’t work just yet I mean they appear to be Mouse holes nothing else in the room yeah what is it I’ll let me see here
Beauty you see
it’s like a stunningly beautiful woman
you’ve already
those holes but I can now use my burning hands on the woman I blush
thanks all right happy hour and he’s he’s using burning flip burning hands on the woman who spread her hands and shoot fire all over the room wow it’s swollen around and consumes consumes many rats there they’re lying around on the ground that woman was never there was just you just were so bad at looking around that you thought you saw something watch this I look around
all right will you see a very obvious door
not a woman that all that is here on demand that you can watch open anytime you want I’m trying too hard to interpret open instantly so that you can be entertained by the store curated there’s a there’s a door that you can do whatever you want but those by default the door is already laughing opening shot right you approach it since this is historic instructors of materials across the pond as well. Red Dwarf I go up to the door sensor I go up to the door it’s the door I open the door
can I turn my phone off before I open the door I thought you saw a lady who tried to burn her first off I don’t know what is going on right now that’s who don’t seem bothered by your presence do wolves have crewed carvings of rats as well as crude carvings of a crown man wielding a club as well as crude carvings of a man sitting on a throne to rest in the far wall you see a rotting wood and thrown in it a skeletal skeleton wearing a Golden Crown thanks Obama
I don’t know if that’s crying we have like one and a half minutes left
things are are in the way of the guy in the crown and the throne I’m sorry what
it was a thing with the guy with the carvings on the wall. The guy and there’s rats and then the guy sits in the is there a throne there’s a yeah the throne is real. I don’t shut up.
background everything else is yours the crown is one-eyed Willie’s
you’re going to give us all the rats and you need to come home I wanted to create a dividing line in the audience between everyone over 40 and everyone under 20 that we were in the middle
Minecraft Elder Guardian
thank you again ever to pyro everybody it’s easier for having us here thinking New York TV Festival
broccoli
go to hand in your hand after I think we think everybody everybody and Rupert
but I talked to her doctor tonight
$1 a month is low if you want to do it no more rap music now or rather we going to see it all the comedy all the time around I’m going to talk to your mom about that what does the money with less than $6 a month for Big Bang Theory

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