Episode: 181 – LIVE From Magic City Comic Con

Episode

Episode: 181 – LIVE From Magic City Comic Con

Description

The now infamous episode of Harmontown from Miami with guest comptroller Dino Stamatopoulos takes a turn when some uncool violence goes down. Watch the video at harmontown.com/live

Transcript

all of the greatest sports team in the world but Miami gets the fuck is going on here
I’m sorry. Like I said who I am
and then the music dance
North Center
I know
MC Orange
thank you Miami thank you
thank you
okay thank you so much as a very warm welcome you guys are very enthusiastic cuz you don’t get to see me that often right how many people are from Florida
what one person raise their hand here is there like that like it was built or what this is my podcast is like and pouring and then and just like whatever comes to mind your weiner my weiner usually comes in while we’re here for those of you who are listening in podcast for we’re here at the
32 eyesight or seventh time this year right job I have tried to learn the name of the fucking convention and I am truly try to even know what Spencer was so are you nailed that he’s a great man wizard
are we going to play the KKK today or exciting new special edition of harmontown that might be that might be comforting lie feasible this far south I don’t know Alexa
I said I won’t leave it
that was a moving on we feel that we have different philosophies about about about the use of that word kitchen or pet names with women worried I don’t I don’t believe in hocus-pocus like I owe words are bad. I believe in like a social like like I put myself in the shoes of a person of color I wouldn’t want to be like putting a position where people are always having to look at look you could check with you and that’s what I be like don’t put that on me that’s why I don’t know I just hate black people under which I didn’t cuz they’re great people
maybe we’ll have one up later and we’ll try to get you get you through that I don’t really know you know I kind of thought well this’ll be easy cuz this is these are my people and
but I’m just realizing now I got I got I got nothing but I really have nothing cuz where’s my
where do tarek I say it again
where is where is Ty Ty you talking about
Thai Brixton the world’s smallest to show promoter once but a blowjob talking about blowing this and I couldn’t I didn’t know what I don’t know what you know I didn’t know if it was a guy or a girl I did and I said I don’t want to hear about making love to a transgender person if they didn’t like it they’re young and they say that they’re like first of all what is that what is Archie Bunker
not to to you it’s funny and ironic cuz you think you’re not but to us you are and and I’m like well it’s hard to perform for the kids or do they stay the same page and we keep getting older today and we wanted to listen to the Will Smith song he made it home but I think he really he should have stuck with that I don’t know what happened he’s a challenge
you guys may be too young to remember this but he was on Barbara Walters once like like after like on the heels of Independence Day is Like Will Smith taking over the world now and then she was like the interview she’s like you don’t have an interesting theory about AIDS and he’s like well it’s you can’t tell me that that disease was not created by the government and she’s like really I think a lot of people can tell you that anybody he’s just like he went for it he’s at he’s at he’s one of the only people that I could think of cuz I got back
best parents are scientologists and he’s just being respectful like I’m sure you guys are big fans of Judaism Judaism even if by proxy through its sequel of Christianity
the know who’s the guy that we lost the Hugo award to the vet he’s the Josh Whedon of of sci-fi so is that a man is a man hold up just let him talk and he’s respectful of the I don’t know how do you be Lutheran or not like it’s like I don’t my parents are Lutheran in like I would
I respected that person way what do you mean they are and I’m not I’m by the way if there’s a Scientologist in here I’m sure you’re already offended there’s nothing I can do about that but I
we don’t I mean I’d like whatever I explained that I mean you no harm to us or religion. They can I find it funny and it’s like it’s funny but we also recognize I’m sure cuz we’re open-minded people that we shouldn’t wait wait wait we’re not we don’t want you to be different I hope you I hope you’re very happy anyways Will Smith is the only famous scientologists I know of who I think it was like like before he auditioned for Welcome Back Kotter he was a Scientologist like there’s a story about him like being in an acting class in the celebrity center or whatever and then going I got this teacher being like everyone I want you to point in the direction of Paramount Studios or Jonathan has his audition today
I don’t want you to be in your UFO energy being your xenon’s over to the Paramount at my point being late like everybody is like like they’re in it when they’re younger and they’re like they’re their career takes off and that one guy that was like he woke up he had all the money in the world he had all the success and he was like there’s still something missing and he’s like
this is great this is a notable to me but you
you’re Spencer
me and Spencer Spencer picked I hope this becomes a thing for him Spencer picked up on this thing that Will Smith doesn’t know
what is really confident
jumping into a French window
with a rose in his teeth hahaha listen to the Miami song
mbmm Because Apple music now just is Skynet and just keep playing like I say it started playing all these Will Smith songs we heard this freaky are freaking freaking freaking it says he says a million different things about freaking it likely that he goes like y’all don’t mind if I use your wants me to start freaking a populist or an elitist I don’t understand who’s listening or things you can’t pin him down in the position you don’t even know what for he never starts freaking out
he is in this rap he got he alludes to the fact he goes like it’s Christian Bale in The Big Short
he said I was soft yeah like my clothes
pictures of the soft rhyme and it’s raining soft with soft so it’s not a compelling argument either way and he thinks Microsoft is hard yeah and software company micro meaning small flaccid more like more like Lake Placid. One of my most directly legs
you know how he described freaky she’s a very sexy girl incense wine and candles Hugh Hefner is a selling the Playboy Mansion with him in it though you have to live with your buying a nursing home that you have to work at yeah yeah I want someone to I want to like a millionaire to buy it and just put it in like a big glass Dome just like who this is I like he’s just in one bedroom and like you bring up soup and leave it outside the door
I think you can feed himself but he he gets the whole he gets the whole place like you can’t say you stay up here I’ll take the bottom floor know he’s cruising into your bathroom and like he’s doing all the stuff he and I think is also includes like some of his girlfriend’s to they’re going to be living with you I would just kind of you know that’s that’s that’s black to cost read the description you described what it finally after like 60 years of like like out here after does he does he have sex with all those women until they finally like there was this woman that just she just laid it out she’s like a typical night in Hugh Hefner’s house if you’re one of these like Playmates it’s allowed to live in a house that sounded so fucking horrible like lately seniority is kind of a do like indoctrinating the younger women and it’s like you just go in his room and he’s watching pouring and then you have to do the stuff in the pouring Part II
anyways I was at the Playboy Mansion it’s that smell it smells like mildew it’s how much are they selling it for cuz whatever you’re selling it for you have to pay that much clean out the hot tub yeah right yeah anniversary of magazines and countering David Hasselhoff
number is and I’ll listen I listen later I don’t know this word for me it is I don’t know if Rob like yeah but what’s up buddy I’m in rounds against the Playboy Mansion everyone’s bug bite each other like I wait I wait I may go up to him and we the entities that he’s like 9 ft taller than you and we got we got like hey we made a pilot was based on you that’s what Robert said that he’s talking motorcycle that was very much bill was inspired by a Knight Rider
it’s like it’s like since it’s just so it’s a valentine to you and Ben Stiller and he goes like what else did he do and robbed Zoolander and David Hasselhoff goes based on me
and I swear to God I would I would be the first to self-deprecate but if I’m not exaggerating and Robin I in unison when I walked away
everything we would get a text. I don’t know what you’re talkin about David know it’s clear
that story on his bike as in Germany or whatever you guys are going to Dustin Marshall our producer here from a very lot of you ate
he took it upon himself to go to the bathroom together we had to walk through a lot of stuff than it was a couple elevator rides right there. There was like in here
I think we’ve found the National Treasure vaults
set a reminder I walked in the bathroom
yap yap yap people who are shocked that they had this weird flight delay today where we we we we got an airplane at LAX around the numbers off here I don’t know the exact ones but it’s like basically 4 hours from Miami and we were in the air and I guess I was asleep and so was the guy next to me I was so first of all today first class American Airlines the worst sorry. I know what happened on a plane I’m the bad guy and most of it my ticket says 5B
why is it important what are you doing sitting in that aisle and I’m 5 ft but he’s like he’s talking to some lady that’s like a row ahead and he butt is going like I don’t I don’t know window or don’t care if you don’t like the window you’re not going to pull one of these things like I’m just thinking that my head and he’s like it says I’m five are the window I appointed at the diagram I said there’s a drawing of a guy in a window next to his head and there’s no confusion lately
a couple and their traveling together which would you guys sit there to thank you thank you very much I acknowledge
it’s God God that that I was starting to get a little pissed off the people didn’t apply
second say thank you forever you know it’s like they’re they’re selfish people they don’t they don’t know heroism when they hear about it cuz that was the end of my story I thought I was going to start making shit up cuz I I was embarrassed for you know I said I said so this is your seat right and I point at 4B which is the window I’m sorry I keep switching these letters around but it’s for be because
obviously I wouldn’t want to
you know screw with whoever else is sitting with whatever but it’s like for the next to her husband and I go in before be and there’s like cookie packages and should I just start like throwing shit around I’ve got to do my home now I installed a ceiling fan if I could have Pillow I drew a face on it and if I didn’t like the window of the plane and like like like like rub my butt all over the seat to make it nice and warm and then look at me and they’re just like this look on your face like what is this homeless Kevin Smith like
I don’t like the look you give me someone else’s feet
really accusing I did not rise above it at all
oh I’m sorry I know I have a whole different ticket is 3 B
you had a whole temperature thank you but I think you’re plotting maybe her but
I think that person has an OCD thing I don’t think they’re plotting for you
they’re they’re flapping as I would have felt good sorry I asked what you said that it’s possible in a strange way you have tourettes
whoop whoop whoop
I’m a Scientologist with Tourette’s and
I do consider this my letter of resignation from Health Plan do a lot of people tonight so I have to go now I have to go all the way to 3 be so now I got to empty seat next to me he’s got socks and laundry and fucking backpacks and pretzels and I feel bad for him and I sit I sit down that’s the end of that chapter of the story but it continues fascinating
show me in this gentleman we fall asleep together then our next to each other on the plane at some point so at some point during the flight what we we missed them saying ladies and gentlemen it’s so foggy in Miami that we’re Landing in Orlando we both missed that announcement at some point and end Edward descending on this city and he’s looking out the window
oh yeah
obviously you get in at metal tube
and your dad goes like this for a while and I think it always ends up in the city about the ticket to I just my experience with air travel is not Miami. I said it’s a bunch of glowing lights it’s a it’s a grid of roofs did maybe maybe you have City blindness to me it looks like it could be Miami could be diverse just inside
how do I get to you and I will get out very carefully will peek out will find a newspaper
the crazy thing is because they already told everybody what we were asleep they don’t then say okay in this city that the end and they still haven’t said they sent it before it so they don’t say it again they just everybody just going as soon as the problems over and it was happening and then there’s like 20 minutes A guy walks up with his luggage to the front of the plane and any like getting out the plane with that you can’t do that if you’re in the wrong place is connected the Thibault of the Bob and I have a right to get off the plane I will I will I will I will I will I will get a cab and I will but you have to
and in the end she gets on the thing and she goes to the latest gentleman there are there are there are there are people that are wanting to get off the plane and it’s their right to do so but it’s a state not a good idea if you do get off the plane and I don’t recommend it don’t go far
I would what the fuck is happening it’s just like The Langoliers like we don’t go far like a terrorist attack happen like what do you mean like what if I have family when
we’re in Miami aren’t we but I reckon we’re going to turn out the lights and everybody should take a nap
turn on some guy out the window was like like made like a base stealing and don’t go far she liked you still on the plane get off the plane like she started like yelling at us for being on the plane so why are you now
get off
but don’t go far
and we went out and it was Orlando because I got I bought a bunch of it I bought a bunch of salmon salmon stuff yeah thank you thanks guys
but there was a lady there was a lady we went to a sandwich restaurant and the woman at the sandwich restaurant was confused and frustrated she couldn’t believe when she got up that morning to work at her airport sandwich store she has a I’ll have a can I have a breakfast sandwich we have ham and cheese sausage egg. I’ll have that one I just how can this be happening to me
how can a plane land next to my sandwich counter people are just lining up I wanted sandwiches I come here to read
and I stole a bag of Doritos
yeah I knew you guys would get that in La they do that
who plays invented Vice
and then I thought the baby
crocodiles or alligators
you know what it was an alligator but I sharpened its nose and turned it into a crocodile
no I stole a bag of Doritos I opened it I just started eating it and I went up to the counter and I was like I just like I waited for her to charge me for it was like I’ll have a sandwich and I was just like I just drive it as like cuz I am stealing Doritos and I tell it what it what you guys are saying
all right Will Smith that shit there was one other thing I swear to God
Steve Steve Steve Steve wants to drive down to the car and wait what was that that’s the weird thing is nothing funny about this but it’s just I just find it incredibly ironic that we got enough for our flight from LA to Miami and we we were then 4 hours from Miami by car so we had we stayed home until the fog lifted employee with oh oh I’m sorry. Are you guys okay oh did Sherlock Holmes come out of the visit was Jack the Ripper here how could you hear your each other over the fog horns have been so foggy
I don’t know why I’m saved if it’s too foggy for little and I don’t know why it wasn’t about planes landed in that time frame I think
he saw it I will say though that’s the one thing I won’t complain about though as far as like an airline if it’s if they’re scared to land even if it means cuz they think they suck man I can’t do it I’m like yeah I didn’t do it to it Stephen don’t
like this isn’t time to Joe I don’t want to be part of your fucking coming-of-age Story Land in Orlando and go back to flight school and I just avoid London or yeah I want that guy in flight plane upside down on cocaine
we like we like what we like that flight movie now there was something else god dammit
Tourette’s
dinosaur did you just say dinosaur
what did you say
oh yeah you forgot how we stopped at that amusement park
I got chased by dinosaurs that I did not forget that didn’t happen
I texted you guys I was wondering where you were and Steve text me the name of the place and I thought he was joking what was the name of that place
geha
Steve come on I’m really I want to know where you guys are
it was great it had like a truck stop / crunchy crispy chicken was that place called
it’s a great combination of businesses I’ll tell you that
can I get a Will Smith’s insincere confident have it was a great I was a great set of businesses hahaha
do you know he really committed to rapping clean especially in that freaking it I don’t know if you guys know this but freaking it is a euphemism for fucking it
but he specifies like I dare you to make a verse without curse like me a Microsoft haha you’re like whatever but yeah he did he was he was free raped as being The Listener that kind of monster we have now forgotten that Cosby was like yeah he was he was he was a famous high rotor when it came to language and CD not it’s not sophisticated
any copies here cuz you guys seem a little offended by that guy for you
can be fair to him
all right yeah what if someone said cosplay as a joke that’s a funny joke what what is that bill cosplay
all right that’s what that’s far too much credit.
We don’t have a lot of things I did a signing today there’s a gazorpazorpfield
do you want to do want to come up and show your dessert was there are you shy you can be shy if you want it’s your right
Jennifer Aniston age
get her some darn enchiladas

you’re at your little girl with the weird tattoos right
what’s your name that you had me draw a thing on a piece of paper cuz you and you said you were going to go get it as a tattoo so I did a heart and it and just Dan Harmon in the heart with an arrow going through it that your boyfriend
after all of my leg by experience as an L A I would like coming out here and I’m just being a big heteronormative pig just a shop
second straight person
I’ve learned nothing 43 so so you’re in a relationship now but but my idea was that little later on if you ever were not that this won’t last forever did that but that someone would be like Christian Harmon I just thought it would be funny
you might as well just a laser here wait what are you can we ask you some questions just needed to know you
what behind my ear
dollars and both of those are lesbian code right
a little bit y’all pretzel behind the ear
message received
fish tank
I think I read you loud and clear what do you what do you what do you do for a living matter of the road do they always talk about me jobs they work like 13 hours a day sometimes
are you do you think you’re kind of a workaholic like like you said you were doing it for the money you trying to build up a nest-egg and then like you got a little delayed retirement plan go into at the age of 11 or whatever you have a good lifestyle and he’s owed you. You’re like I want more money so I can I can I can I can go to the pretzel ear strip club
I just smoked a lot of weed.
How are how are the police hear about weed like if you get pulled over and there’s a I think it just
I just been really paranoid still like I haven’t been
is that really keep all the gold run for it wrong
I have more questions and you can use the health insurance to remove tattoos
where you going to get the tattoo they want to know
you’re going to get you’re going to get a heart with my name on it and you’re on your side like on the Side Youth I’m your eyes open I know you’ll never be able to drink coffee if my mom says she has a thyroid disorder
just tell me I health insurance the baby
who who else is that young in here
it’s cool cuz I expected more I think that’s really interesting how much are our audiences
haha who’s who’s the oldest or I bet I am who’s that who thinks they’re the oldest person in this audience this guy standing up how old are you
older app
how old are you 53 who can be 53
can Grandpa go fuc yourself
time for bed old man do you have any desire to come up here it is
Gracie’s
this is a fucking nightmare cuz he looks younger than me and he doesn’t yeah it does look handsome for that
do you have a seat when did the pain start for me and literally was my birthday like I said I couldn’t walk more than like 3 blocks and now my arm my shoulder to get those pains right now and do they ever get better you’re my future
your hair gets longer I can’t wait till my hair gets gray I got to say cuz I got this looks like a toupee up here Snappers podcast like this cuz it’s like it’s like it’s like driving with the top down baby by 16 I’m way past that she just drink a lot of milk I feel like I’m just I’m going to have I’m going to spend one day I’m going to go do that was a kidney stone and I’m never going to stop having them cuz I feel like I’ve never drink water and kidney stones
I know doctor I feel like the inside of my kidneys is just like this like like crazy like Narnia like like like winter wonderland of like white stalagmites and still thinks that are you two like for the first or the crumble and the kidney stones but this is one of my like cuz it’s just so definite that it’s going to happen and it’s like I don’t want to hear it the first thing that happens is like a pain in your side or you start sweating on your upper lip you look like Richard Nixon
can you start sweating like a dog that’s the worst part in Richard Nixon one of our better looking presidents that’s interesting OK Google pain on your side IG
somebody to get the pain to go away but can you just take the drugs and write it out it’s there’s two kinds of pain with it the one of the cutting which is not cutting through your body move any more of the urine backs up and then that pain hurts like a mother fuc you cannot believe it and you can’t get comfortable there’s no place to like get comfortable at all yeah that’s exactly yes I wanted to apple cider vinegar
yeah I mean I would love to go but thank you I had my I asked you to share that I have a morbid Fascination I’ve had I have I have people up all the time and have like like different there was a kid there was a kid that came to the Rick and Morty signing and he had a hole in his van is Ben is like what’s going on what happened to me I can’t remember now the name of the disorder but he had it when he was stopped breathing in my sleep like sleep apnea but like way worse and like that and I said how are you still alive when did you get out there was three months old
the luckiest guy in the world world kids like like if he has to have been a first child because when you have your first kid you’re all guys are moving he is here he’s just afraid to talk
but yeah he was he was he was he was I don’t like I feel like such a feel like if I get sick if anything bad happens to me I feel like I’ve been so lucky and I just I don’t have any faith in myself so I can handle it with any kind of a plum I feel like I’ll just know you’re going to be a baby if they’re noisy guy that’s what what what we’ll deal with it I can’t wait to deal with it
well let’s let’s let’s practice let’s do like a role-playing I hope this isn’t how you get the disease dying let’s just say I have like a
foot
stop playing doctor and I have muscular dystrophy
yeah it’s fucked up I’m guys I could still get that
what the fuck
whatever
see you at least it’s muscular yeah you don’t have muscle South sounds Macho and blah blah blah and I live forever I’ll handle it perfectly Rick
I’m a mad that I made famous video editor video editor final cutter Avid Avid mostly Sony Vegas Avid touch the mouse or are you badass
bouncers for pussy wishes
vinyl cutters Lake editing with boxing gloves on Israel’s and sometimes you just cut up the three minutes for me give me a whole pilgrimage here you go to San Diego, it’s become too so much but it’s like you got that was the problems it became I can for nerds and then became a can so I can just regular can a 10 people are just like cattle prodding people
a picture book get out of here Bruce Willis is coming through I can you walk without it hurting half a mile wow one left yet one last one family member I like are you like a farmer from the 80s and pretty
against two crops I don’t know I don’t know how to do a farmer The Man Child of pain down there so you do not want to talk you knew it you knew it 21 definitely never going to have a need for a 42 year old woman better get a vasectomy and throat throat
and you couldn’t get any, your hands is going to
play extra for that
it’s like a serpent and the rainbow he blows it at my face
am I wrong or is this offensive to to assume that the reason why she was particularly cheap because it’s actually dangerous she’s like I don’t want to have kids you already have kids or her son was my best friend in high school
did James Bond of Comic-Con
now we want to make sure we would we would all do that if the genders river is right if I if I would I would I would still yeah I would be like all right you crushed that dick honey I’ll see you then
Crest at old dad at your friend’s dick
do not do not. The poison ivy that half of the people are dressed as out there I’m in the movie with the weights are what you say Drew Barrymore when she poison ivy
Uma Thurman
World War II everyone in the audience please come up here and grab the mic
thank you for sharing your your cure your
I like that he turned it to like it if we got that information in the wrong order of my dick and it hurts and I got a mastectomy I live with my parents
High School
we’re rooting for him at that point I want to clear up a misconception he was 21 when he had sex with that woman this is out of high school they were friends in high school but this was after high school. It’s really cool. It’s really cool but it’s not quite as like some high school guy it’s not as dramatic it’s arguably a little healthier because you know what you know if you don’t mind just so happens he’s the oldest guy here at Peet’s
play really I thought I thought Dustin have some beats yo
Yelp haha yeah yeah yeah she’s a m to the I to the am I did I spell that right
scissor I blew the am I a budget mama so hard that she started to cry but it wasn’t it was from Joy
yeah yeah yeah the peninsula of this state is shaped like my weiner when I go on a date I like to dip it in the ocean and whip it around I’m like Rick
starting over and Pikachu’s the Jews
I’m assuming they’re here to I
that doesn’t but it’s not related I’m going to start over okay
I thought your mama said she was appalled you said pull the shit you gave it to me good I went in the basement and work with someone I built her a rocking chair filterless led a builder a doghouse I’m filter
who is Jed in the bed most people put up.
Inside the bed I got inside.
I said your mama was Janet but I didn’t do it I was praying yo
oh God where did you go I went to pee up too quickly oh man one time I was in the beach I was at the beach and I got knocked over by a wave and it took my pants off and I had to pull them on and it turned out the Zipper was down so I pulled up my zipper and yeah that’s what happened yeah and and then I was in The Saltwater so it was no no no it was instantly just infected and everything was healthy from then on yeah it was great weekend by the way that’s not me
cuz I thought I was like 20 but it was just it was my technique was way off grave of hazrat does it feel good it’s amazing that’s why it’s hard to kids
would be damned for something when you pee in the shower like that feeling of Freedom like you’re just like I’m just like I don’t think so what does happen in there
upu I think the umbilical I’m no doctor with the waist I don’t think you do that
cuz that would happen do they know that’s what your water breaks
do you speak as if you guys want to see fetus P we’re playing down at the Spencers on base and I’m a drummer but the lead singer and like Phil Collins it was he was a singer in the 1700
like Micky dolenz Rick just give me one second I’m not going to I’m not going to fill in for you I know Jeff Davis here Jeff Davis said something funny I was actually going to ask cancer look like I just like hanging out with you all day is when they were you did you wander around the condo did you have like a any experiences I got in I charge my phone I don’t know I kept using my phone was supposed to be charging it so the end result is I just did and it is hilarious. By now
and then I came here yeah I was going to get the hotel empanadas restaurant sorry about yelling at you is explicable angry about things like like like what they were saying it was kind of like hanging out with you guys and that’s why you don’t listen all right who in The Who in the audience liked has that has a convention kind of like I doesn’t I usually ask that who’s in who’s in pain but I think I think real Rick Ross
in your head
cuz I don’t want to talk about your crush I do you support your Crohn’s or men do I do I do I hate your girls I don’t support it
like a convention like encounter or story or something to eat somebody that somebody is going to come up with her and share your good enough to walk up here and say it
grab that Mike what’s what’s your name sir I’m Russell Russell okay I think I have something so happy that you’re happy birthday thank you why why why Cheetos are made in Copper kettles and it’s in Texas and I’m flustered so I’m Sorry by people who make yogurt and typewriters and you know he’s going to throw it away he’s going to throw it away
what what are you holding are you vaping oh yeah it’s a royal pain that has some some some type of hash oil in it so I am still holding it right now is so so okay what’s your convention that I actually went to the bathroom to go wash my hands and there was somebody in a very extensive gender swap costume cosplay sorry and I made me take a double-take at the door for sign and make sure that I wasn’t in the females bathroom with a female that had her boyfriend the bathroom with her and
that’s okay yeah I just thought there was a funeral in the bathroom and just trying to be a child in a cosplay that was a gender swap tell the rest of the story
urinating on my shoes and then I thought I died and then I came here and
pretty good they’re out there all judging you now cuz they’re like so you and captured the modern world
I’m starting the lights on me and I don’t know what to say what do you think of like a person becomes too complicated we should just have unisex bathrooms right it’s a Heritage do you give an opinion about that I mean when it really comes to it you know in this twenty-first Century you know it’s going to be really what parts your bored with a should really be what your identify as a way of presenting as and you’d be able to go to the bathroom and you know into the printer that you feel that you right but yeah well yeah but I mean we all know what to say to it that’s appropriate given that fact like should we should the should bathroom super just use the bathrooms or should we continue to do dichotomous bad I don’t think women would agree with that women need more bat-like and holy masturbating
no it’s going to be women biologically need to spend more time in the bathroom then that’s not like a sexist thing but like a pair of like for peeing it takes longer like physically so like women need more access to bathrooms than men do per unit space in in a proper urban planning situation
Master baiter I mean I mean by me if I was like running Society I would just do the thing that would be doing wrong things I’ll let you do the simple thing that’ll mean that no one’s ever offended or whatever those birds the bathrooms interesting that it could be over in the name of like making me is the mayor of this Society feel better about myself when I was it in New York right where it occurred to me I was like oh man that sucks for women because they’re at the library bar there was a men’s room at a woman’s room but they made them both units X and and it was like for the women because it’s like lately that you another thing that we’re growing up and there was fucking
play to do Coke in men’s room not so good you don’t want to you don’t want anything going through your nose then that place all right well yeah okay so you what was the costume can you tell us what you’re afraid you’re going to like I honestly really don’t know whose it was an anime costume I’m not very familiar with anime so what do you think of as Deadpool fellow I think the movie is going to be receptive but it’s probably going to be receptive
how much are truly receptive Phil I’m so sorry I’ll do anything for a laugh
I got jumping all over cuz I never miss speak like you’re making my case I just don’t think it’s going to be the circle jerk that everybody thinks it’s going to be me and meet meaning meanings like but you’re you’re you’re you’re you’re saying you don’t think it’s going to be God’s gift to
Uber Mobius strip of metal humor and Deadpool and the whole X-Men thing I really think they’re going to try to fit in his knowledge during the crowd and this whole is Schumer not really do too much with what was the Wikipedia page and I appreciate that I’m sure a bunch of I from reading the fans that are Deadpool fans and Ryan Reynolds is a huge fan of it and like like like like to make the movie what is the what what is the lake lake lake cuz what is the good version I know I kind of know what you’re talkin about like never talk about this like there’s a bad version of good sloppy and lazy that he just goes like Oh it’s like I’m in a movie looks like going to be like Space Jam or something
like night is the good version of breaking the fourth wall That’s what I’m kind of confused by to be honest I haven’t read too many but your arm
no it’s the what what are you do not ever going to cocaine the Triad
92nd down
holy shit why don’t you just physically you don’t get that guy okay I tried is there security
are you all right
she’s Christ usually when people Rush the stage nothing because got a black eye
yes I do
we thought this was going to be a bad show
I’m sorry that happened to you man that’s really shity I’m so sorry that happened to you can’t get her when you got punched it hurt when you fell down in the chair what about punching him wait what just punch this guy I think yeah
I am cool do you need do you need I mean would you know if you needed it like an actual doctor do you need like a genie like
I mean the guy should be arrested yeah I’ve had a cervical hematoma before so I know what a concussion and what a blood what blood in your brain feels like I’m in
hahaha so what what what what Spirit was that just said are you do you think it’s funny that he was physically assaulted I think he was just trying to be funny no you’re not invited up please forgive us for not wanting you to run up on stage and it’s
I think that was somebody I knew yes
you know this wasn’t a planned this thing I hope not let it be really the bad plan if you can see it you can explain to you I’m going to cater to his comfort right now
wait wait really

charging I won’t press charges but and this wasn’t planned is going to it’s going to shine up like I’m going to I mean I’ve had my nose broken by belligerent driver before so again it’s not that hadn’t been through exactly what I expected for it to be like
so
everybody everybody calm down like we don’t come down you can be excited you have my permission to react to that excited like I don’t know how to put this together somewhere else if you don’t evolve into two let’s let’s talk about what just happened
how do you know this guy
I need a room for Jesus here comes
like 6 years okay. I kind of think he he kind of gets himself a little riled up and
into situations I think he was kind of I’m kind of interested anymore I don’t think his actions were Justified but they were I thought he had a great
is it seemed very clear
are you traumatized I mean no offense but I mean like if it happened to me I’d be very shaken up I’d not be able to carry on with these comedic stylings like this quite quite quite honestly the only reason why I’m pressing on it’s only because it gets me where stage time yeah right at all. You really pissed off I want to give him a ride home right now and I got that covered
what can you update your plate you seem to be bet you’re okay I don’t want you to talk about anything you want to talk about but I’m just saying I’m just making an observation. Do you want to go and put ice on it stuff or do I stay or is it like what they hear. I think I was physically assaulted whenever you want so it’s not like you’re asking for things we can do with your articles of where we can we can meet whenever it was his friend it’s your friend and can I ask you a couple of like like like like
thanks Steve
hahaha
what to do with a teacher and she just like your crazy knucklehead friend that lives in Oxnard Oxnard like that live like that means like ox testicle right and I mean like you said that’s somewhere I I’m used to it’s a weird place that people tend not to go
yeah it’s a relationship like the the Werner hertzog movie my best fiend is is is he just actually actually now that Daddy knows here and we can bring the stuff yes it actually kind of feels like my best friend. Sometimes when he’s around get really pissed off at him kind of scream at him sometimes but can also be a really fun time and we could do also great stuff together and he’s just that kind of guy that gets a little out of bounds on the Sara Lee and because he is a crazy be mad at you see as a really terrible sense of humor me right, now I’m actually I’m actually I actually think he’s just like pissed off I came on stage and then talk about Deadpool and was like oh I can’t talk about dead folks I don’t know anything about it
hey that’s why I’m punch people
that’s what I thought of when I saw myself on the ground
I was like I fucked up I didn’t make him proud sorry Dad so sad that that’s where you defaulted to after being attacked randomly friend attack was random the friend is known to be not not to that extent but do you actually work on 2014 Acura Integra
he just said take off your shirt with lots of people tell me I also been drinking some local beers a day today so I guess you probably more later than I was
Special K and Heiser
I’m so pleased that silly terrible unbalanced related
life is what it is
a good sport you guys are a race for the high road so I hit the other is everyone else can move on yes for God’s sake I had my I wanted to know more I like you guys if I didn’t help you investigate that you’d be like why isn’t he talking about the thing with the thing but I guess I’m getting a maybe not a clear picture but I can categorize it now you think it was someone else okay you get you guys are fine don’t worry about it all right well I guess maybe Deadpool will be a bad movie
how do I get to this point it’s kind of looking to get it if if his fans react to criticism that way I I don’t think it’s because it’s going to be a great I like On Golden Pond but I never I let it do its own defending I like Hudson Hawk I wouldn’t think you’d like that I was kind of fun nice like Ordinary People movie punch face forever. Russell Russell
just random it doesn’t have to doesn’t have to be like
what I didn’t hear
used to also a bad mood you’re a good sport with a punch but you really overindulge that word play ideal salted butter
Sucker Punch you get a salted. Thank you for getting punched in the face so I’m pretty sure I’m picking up more time then I can leave the Eye Care to really even if it was planned you still have earned the right to plug your band or anything that you want
I I work at Trader Joe’s and I tried getting fuck out of here and get the fuck out of this place more or less you know where are you from I’m from Fort Lauderdale so yeah it’s more let South Florida no no no no no don’t don’t come our way I just like to remind the audience that you can subscribe to the video version of our podcast
oh my God is going to shoot up so I have $5 a month everybody get out of this small of an Oscar for an Oscar for best animated picture Charlie Kaufman’s new movie studio produced it and it almost killed us so please if you want to download it and legally go ahead but by the DVD after if you like it started early on like I got punched in the face
that that meeting that media sound bite my that sound like like like like like like like like like a real like a horrible thing I’m just glad it was him and not us I totally thought that you would be stabbed at the show
that’s why I am pleasantly surprised
we all have PTSD now I will tell you deserve to nobody deserves to be physically hurt but I I mean I I put myself in a situation where it shouldn’t have shocked me that that that that I ended up like a lot of trouble if I woulda went and partied with a bunch of random dudes I go in my in my in my hometown of Brown Deer Wisconsin there was only like if you were underage if you couldn’t buy liquor at the liquor store you too small a town and we would just go to the motel this like local motel and like we would like to see if anybody wanted to like pitch in a bunch of money and find somebody was Twenty-One and go buy beer I went with a couple of friends and was a cruising the motel and there was a bunch of dudes and we started drinking Malt Liquor together and smoking weed without pooled our money so we all do we are all broke and then like we just get really really high
I really really drunk and then I’ll I’ll do that that’s the horrible thing about violence is it take inexplicable and it’s like because it just makes no sense and it just laborers your world for the rest of your life cuz you’re like what the fuk was that like I was I just remember sitting and being really high and really drunk and is his rap music playing in like like I’m just not and I am so high and I got a yin yang patch on my front a denim jacket and I got to tell with rubber bands in mind that my other league on from The Real Ghostbusters rat tail and and then all of a sudden I can one of my two friends like I see him stand up and like there’s like one of the stranger guys they had its way outnumbered seems like talking to him and my friend starts shaking his head and I didn’t know what’s going on cuz the music was so loud and then all of a sudden it’s just start flying like like like that guy was just like beating up my friend I was like they got in a fight it was like the guy just started assaulting him and then I stood up and then it was just like like like it was it was at like 10 dudes like just like it’s felt like they were trying to murder me like I didn’t
like they were ever going to stop and remember like pulling out my wallet I was like kneeling in the floor and I held out my wallet which I knew was empty and what they do is empty and then I felt the wall at least my hand and there was a pod and then I felt more of more punches in the back of my head and that’s why I thought oh my God they’re going to kill me cuz like like there was no there’s no reason for this they’re just like so high and drunk I just want to fucking kill me and like I was like glass is breaking over my head and Butt-head my head was going to do like mirrors and stuff a mirror pluralize it it was tossed around the room and I got at one point one guy in the corner from their crew like grabbed me and I was standing by the door and he just grabbed me by the shoulders and looked in my eyes and say get out of here and shoved me out the door and slammed it behind me and locked it and I didn’t know if
we’re going to cuz I was so I didn’t I wasn’t I didn’t remember if they were still in there but I doubt that I just want to be candid and say I didn’t think about them anymore I wasn’t my face was so fucked up it was rapidly like the swelling starts to happen a little bit later there’s like it was everything was getting blurry the last thing I saw clearly before everything is became Blobs of light was a young lady coming out of an adjacent motel room and it was it was the this was the worst part of it all was that she came out of the room and she looked at me and I just expect I’ve been the victim of a violent crime and now here’s where somebody will Express concerned because whatever she saw Lisa gone through so I didn’t know what she she she she looked at me and she is she screamed like like like she was terrified of me that’s how fucked-up my face look like
look like why do I get back into a room and just like clothes the clothes and I did I just like walked and I tumbled down a hill and do a freeway and I stood up and I tried to walk home but I couldn’t stay I just like walked I just following like these lights cuz I couldn’t see anything why do they bring that up cuz that’s a slap in high school I got beat up once it was It was supposed to be a fight but it wasn’t I didn’t throw a punch cuz I just didn’t know weird back in high school now but I just got like the shit out of me and then just like you know like black eye and blood and and I remember the guy and he’s my Facebook friend now the band
and then I I posted this bit that I do with Andy Dick where he beat the shit out of me as a bitch and I I posted once a year because it hurts so I feel like I should at least get credit for getting punched in the face and then slapped really hard and
one of the comments was that guy’s brother who just wrote his brother’s name Sal and it was highlighted like you got to take a look at this like the guy that you fucking beat up it is now on YouTube getting beat up I don’t know I mean you think I’m just like reading into some our know I don’t at all or what how did that make you feel horrible like zit like he’s this guy is still like talking about beating the shit out of me when I was 13
and also make you feel good cuz you know I mean that he’s got no life that’s a high point it isn’t exactly the beat contest after that and that was his people what are you apologizing so unless jury still out on Russell wait what what it says it’s a strange relationship apology necessary that’s for sure what’s the tick this thing into high gear oh really now
how much time do we have left
text 10 minutes who said 10 minutes with some guy that just what is Steve’s name is pre-close 10 or 15 or should we do a little a little a little role-playing no
I guess we should did you did you bring your I’m going to try and play along this time I’m going to be nice this time we have a waving hand what’s up
do you want to play board here enough, I guess I’ll make sure that we continue to think of gender as a day, okay come on up
birthdays don’t count here is my birthday January to close to Christmas right he’s he’s used to not having his birthday celebrated January berries
all right what are your names here I’m Caitlin Caitlin this is Spencer my name is Dan Harmon Destino I think there’s a well that’s probably the sound of them charging the audio took charge of a stage
I think we’re getting you another Mike and Mike is bad but here you guys I’m going to be really bad at this
okay so we got the Morgan character
which of you would like to play Doom Argent care of your heart of God yes thank you you knew the name and character okay that’s even libertine Mercy’s death Camille’s usual character dr. Girlfriend I believe that is
Ayo and then out and then I might have my soda make sure are so
so
I mean don’t you don’t gotta try too hard to understand it it doesn’t make sense I mean I never really look at this look at it but
all right Dusty we got music or no okay cool
I’m just going to I’m just going to go then I do recap this one’s by Michael bricks a lot of people wrote Recaps and they were very good but a lot of them were too long sorry I’m okay so yeah I’m on the harmony to press 5 to reflect in search of guard disguise themselves as southern belles this snake their way into the building they got to the lobby but in an unlikely a real impatient of robbed robbed and shot the security guard in the head right after debating whether or not they should heal the dead man must smoke grenade flew into the room and gunfire started a blazing through poorly trying to escape through an air vent runs towards the security guards
Donald runs towards the security guards in his obliterated into a pink Mist by Machine Gun fire
Mercy O’Donnell and who was Rob trout playing as I answered that question
time on Shadow Town Harman Run town
all right
all right do you guys have any questions let me set the stage for you you’re in the lobby of the press f53 flesh there security guards peppering the area with machine-gun fire everyone is clamoring into an air vent except for gym Nightblade he’s just finishing his climbing you’re all in this air vent that’s being the air vents above a room that’s just being coded in gunfire you hear screams and just explosions and all sorts of stuff and you realize the air vent you’re in isn’t exactly bulletproof skies I see her I’m good at sneaking so
can I suggest not being loud in this air vent okay
how many points do I get for that 3 thank you yeah I think they might blow you out of the water you’re kind of in the back I think they know we’re in here when I say about quiet and half the cost of the other I’d go for Speed cuz bullets are so fast
but I’m good at medicine so I can heal you who’s in front what’s a mercy know she’s dead let’s put horror guard out front Okay let me know I’ll leave the way I move very quickly it’s true OK Google air vents don’t worry I’m good at medicine acknowledge them I use my cat like agility to sneak around those bullets you do that you sneak right around the bullet you guys crawl to a t Junction in the air vent it seems to be past the room you were just in so you bought yourselves a little bit of time
left
is that it doesn’t seem like a correct directions to say all seem great let’s yeah you turn left are you Shuffle down for my money you shovel down below you you see a great but also the thing goes ahead it’s like still being a duck that way but there’s a great below you
great geography
jump down through it all right if I look through it first you see a bunch of cowering you see a bunch of caring people there that they’re they’re wearing what do you call those medical gowns in their cowering is if evading or trying to dodge some sort of shooting
is there anyone shooting at them know but you do hear gunshots coming from other rooms like the ones you were just near through it and take a defensive position all right who else is doing a shoot like five people
who else is doing stuff cuz I’m I’m good at shooting it’s true he’s great
I I I drop down I don’t I mean if you want to figure out the results of him shooting with me but it’s all good I mean I might my next move would be to go down into the room that he went down at 2 so I’ll be so sad Caitlin what do you want to do I’m going to follow behind them still being Catholic three of you leap into the room when they start backing away from you but as they back away five of them are cut down by Pistol Fire coming from the vent above me right yeah
Jesus Christ all right all right get their medical gowns doctors with blood all over what I strip the dead ones the rest of them are screaming and cowering in a corner but people got shot even before I asked that I jumped down and and apply medicine to the shot people and get them to be on our side will their dad at the shop people are dead I’m really good medicine for your even better at shooting though well that’s not true but you were good enough at shooting so that the goodness of medicine is an applicable in this situation you’re the dragon lord
you got you got everybody’s down all right we’re going to walk out of here disguised as doctors it’s the best plan in the world medical gowns are not worn by doctors it’s even better
am I still in the degrading up there yeah yeah you’re still up there I’m really good with clubs I was in the chess club in school and I think we should move like the way a night moves like I like an hour straight and I’m jealous I’d come down one space you okay you want to pawn would do you’re an asshole
sorry I didn’t get a queen
you are like what do you want
I think we could do it fine to do right or is that a king do you take off all your tactical gear do you disarm yourself or it kind of like drapes over the gear and it’s very thin and also open
okay I just want to get the lay of the land before it was sealed in his garden pear-shaped since about a year-and-a-half ago
and I am now if I could just wear my head what I’m thinking just so you know is if I have to get naked butt on a medical gown and wander off into Seattle I just never Shadow run again that I I arrive right now I’m thinking like the good idea cuz I’m just I’m just I feel bad all right I got an idea
let’s play dead I have this cyanide we all take the cyanide and play dead we all have cyanide in unity right we have Sinai Community with me and I do do you guys have fun on the music now
come up with something if you take your cyanide I can quick heal you yes I could go head-to-head immunity I thought you were getting naked and putting on this gown and then I’m leaving
I’ll follow you okay
can you get naked and put on a gown yeah I love it
here we go
are you still up get a load of this yeah you just been this voice from a vent I like you to see me in a little squares naked. Okay I’m all out of the vent and I’m all dressed two of you were wearing medical gowns
are we still being attacked or in another room
a grappling hook to my arm and my back
timer like you hear an explosion coming from the hallway you see a metal door fly going face down and you hear the voices of tactical people going clear the clear the memory room get them off
all the peeps its future slang
Caitlin whoever you’re playing whatever you’re playing get naked I improved invisibility so the people that are charging in this room I’m about to find me invisibility can work on multiple targets improved visibility on all of us
except now it’s hard cuz I can’t see my own hands and she is so it’s kind of like you’re trying to suck through a straw all right so you’re all invisible do you have a course of action or do you think being invisible is good well I mean let’s be honest this is enough it’s it solves a ton of problems all right where they get on the ground and they start crying and two of the Guardsmen stay watching the rest of them run down the hall to clear other other rooms
I’m I’m I silently walk out okay the door
sorry A bird just flew into my head
where in Gilbert
I hate thing invisible attack the Jackal guy because they hear hear us talking now right yeah yeah I know they do am I going to turn visible is this like D&D rules or do I turned visible when I attack I can’t remember let’s say yes okay okay well then I don’t attack okay can I make walls I don’t think I stand corrected dr. Frank and make berries I think I have social anxiety when I talk to people and I can assure blindness I can make the second page here
I do it through my comlink yeah yeah I got telepathic way you have yet I mean there’s these short answer is yes I’m leaving I’m leaving fucking parakeet
alright silently and invisibly you walk out the front door of the whole place near me
all right
you really didn’t die guys how can we see anything cuz you need which of it when you’re invisible you need to focus your on your retina in like how do you focus and still light is going through your ocular apparatus I what kind of Library we go to the library
maybe we weren’t really invisible
no you are going to the library why do hate libraries
we’re in a few things you’re you’re literate are you I don’t have your sheet but I think you’re illiterate got a map
all right you’re at the library okay I take all the books out there are no books do they have MP3 I rent some can you can you order DVDs okay you find out that magic is why
magic oh that explains everything you can’t see me yet no okay well I’m leaving the library
we talkin to me okay yeah I’m looking right at you
I’m out in the street turns out the way I mean I knew this was going to happen all over the way in of mist and she’s going to think that I would Spencer up to a door. All right even though we can’t see each other but it is in E85 right
but we don’t we don’t know it
all right thank you thank you magic magic kingdom master
Russell
what’s up, Sissy.
Where does the second hand for our role players at 7 Hanford Graciela thank you buddy buddy Spa Marshall Steve Levy
07 Tahoe SS
I will give you a million dollars if you don’t expect me to take pictures and said we’re doing a signing tomorrow right reason I wish I could tomorrow so please come to the rig up the booth for that at a tight my throat is shredded and I watch them and it went to the face and didn’t do anything about it so I’m really going to go home and make love to my girlfriend without a lot of bigger
so she was very impressed by its distinctive
Kilbride just like
but thank you so much my honey I had to have a visitor come see me tomorrow I’ll find anything to take pictures with you God bless you have a great day. Sorry and anyone monetize
and I

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