Episode: 187 – The Four Points Of The Triangle


Episode: 187 – The Four Points Of The Triangle


Dan is stoned…Schrab too, the creator of The Stanley Parable randomly joins the stage and Spencer steals the show with some improv. Watch the video at harmontown.com/live!


the present
oh yeah
bring up somebody near and dear to my heart mr. Spencer Crittenden
oh yeah
and the mayor of Hermantown
thank you very much thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you about narcotics are you on then I just weed eat around the Strawberry Cough I think it’s called a little sativa I’m not I just said don’t make that my gimmick it’s not make that Society legal
is it all right Nancy Reagan died
maybe that’s why I got so high before the show I was like
like a ghost finally stopped telling me to say no to things
maybe I
that joke was unprepared or no I just made the connection I came out I followed by there. They’re going to know sooner or later that I’m high and then I was like
all right so Nancy Reagan 94 years old Rich so so you’re saying Foul Play
The Curse of the first ladies
all of these women married the first men all of them are dropping away and there’s going to be a great serial killer kill people who are 94
there was a famous people died famous people they dies often if not
if not more than the obscure
in a room full of a hundred people less of them that die will be famous
because they’re less famous people exactly the right
now you’re blowing my mind right now
I really did think that was an awesome find blank book II picture that is being like Yogi Berra or Mark Twain on the calendar there are less famous I can’t get it back by Elegance Suave like like
dress dress tonight she wear that red dress all the time USA Today article everybody kind of chimes in and you have people like for instance let’s see like Obama he’s got of course you got to say something he said our former first lady read to find the role in her time here President Obama said in the statement later in her long goodbye was President Reagan she became a voice in behalf of millions of families but they’re like what what did she contribute let’s eulogize are blah blah blah seems scrolling down Mitt Romney said he said something kind of dickish to the undercut my punch line which is Trump
but it’s like like everybody from Republicans and Democrats and everyone in between people that lost their election like Jimmy Carter had to say something and he he said this is Reagan’s just say no program prevented many young people from falling prey to the Allure of drug use
the box of how to do a eulogy
a paragraph a paragraph to prepare Gap it’s like Jim Henson said that Jimmy Carter
house and she gave Michelle Obama like a kind of like a tutorial and it looks like the wife of a truly great president
that’s it that’s the end of my story
what a fucking cunt
you can’t do anything I like
kind of magical he cuz he’s fat he just want to just hit you and the wife of a tree and an amazing amazing woman to really really really great though it’s true the truth
well Ted Cruz said she will be remembered for her deep passion for this nation and love for her husband I mean of course she’ll be remembered for her when I get her husband to take care of a deeply like senile dementia Turtle dude for like a long time and she was right about that and I was talking to his mom Gloria fucking Vanderbilt with that’s fucking weird too it’s just really good friends and so he’s he’s talking to Gloria Vanderbilt I got on the phone and can Anderson Cooper news anchor worst news show in the world
talking to your mom that sounds adorable though because they don’t think some of you think I don’t know like like normal to have two legs lately but I was a child of the 80s Nancy Reagan’s speak cuz I’m high that Nancy Reagan was a different strokes and she was like she was Nancy Reagan them but there’s only one word your car needs to know and that’s no to drugs
because my Administration marks the beginning of a concept where you take like for instance crack cocaine and you say you get 10 years in jail for the weight of crack cocaine that you would get like a thousand years
people tweeting and you go like like why are you like guys in this person I count myself among that a lot of people are dying and he was in the show goodbye.
if a president dies when you got like well I remember that time in my life he was president of it okay
0 like Ellen has a positive memories and negative are you did if I ask her for the for Breakfast in America or whatever the arrow is called the dawning of a new age were going to take all the mentally ill people and throw him in the street and just call him homeless from now on
that’s not her she wasn’t like banging the gavel and say we should do that she was she was a big big big big mistake we made during that era the biggest complaint that you can I mean is the gay community because they literally not only were they not responsive to what they what they knew was an epidemic that they actually there’s Paper Trails of them I going let’s actually, we don’t need that much funding for like like like that area and stuff scandalous disease and like like there’s a story I read today and
give me great if she probably would if I were Nancy Reagan and that my legacy wrong and remember her for having a red dress being a first lady in that order and and say no to drugs when she fucking just OD’d in the bathroom floor
where did she just said on her deathbed or she just said like listen just say yes to all of it is it likely of memories back to me cuz it was a story about how it’s a bit like
it’s a bit I mean it’s it’s inflammatory like maybe it’ll even the hair looks amazing tonight it’s when you’re making fun now I’m not it looks really nice okay alright I look good it’s hilarious god dammit
that just say thank you. Thank you.
I thank you but I don’t know if it’s true or not your hair looks I’ll have let me look it looks and I don’t I don’t know why I can’t see what happens on my camera
I’m going to look at it and if I agreed that I’ll say thank you
looking good
wow show you what I’m seeing from your camera involve some coming and going but you can tear drop it to me but oh I can’t stand I can’t see that you need to take a picture of them in profile
Chris Chris so awesome
I I really I hope I hope I hope I hope it stays this phone until we just died like a hose reel
like must be nice cuz a lot of people are like I’m 17 I just ate my shoe
that’s a terrible way to die. You can either shoe people back in the old days when you got hungry and have you boiled your booty ate it
with Robert zemeckis
Errol Morris
who is Robert zemeckis to trust the results that they had some gentleman’s bet about the documentary world
finishing up fill my time okay good perfect
Village of bound by a certain deadline and the BET was that he would eat a shoe and did Errol Morris shoot hertzog eating a shoe
should look it up what’s up
if I didn’t duck fast fancy shawl right
yeah I mean I think I need a shoe
what kind of shoe is it looks like a like a Reebok or a headline Nancy Reagan refused to help dying Rock Hudson get AIDS treatment
the truth it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s a story that is like I was reading it was like bringing back all these memories cuz the interesting thing is it’s a story about should be on her hands or not but Rock Hudson back in those days there in France they had treatments that were far more advanced than ours along the road if I can ology age and how to treat It Rock Hudson was like in line to get that treatment but he was blocked at an international level because this was a French hospital there was a red tape time I get up and there was a point where somebody had called the White House and said this is a friend of Nancy’s for the active Day friend and not Ronald of heat it’s if a call from the White House might be able to get them through to this French hospital and though there was a dick to get out there
pulled apart and you’re talking to each person on the Chain live there the person that answered that call and went to Nancy Reagan and said this is the situation with Rock Hudson he acknowledges Keys he’s on the side of like this is not about AIDS being stigmatized or anything like that there was about objectivity egalitarianism oh God if we did a favor for a Hollywood friend can you imagine lots of other people quit making me very valid observation that give me a break at Bob Hope had colon cancer you wouldn’t fucking bomb today
just just to get your frustrations out. Deaths from AIDS what’s often does the Reagan’s stance on it like it wasn’t at the first and a kind of acknowledge about like that and it didn’t look into these memories like you a lot of you guys like I was on the playground and Rock Hudson died of AIDS and like the two things that happened were just a huge Avalanche of horrible horrible jokes just like that’s how I most remember that my brain is 2 to the 10000 awful even by then standards blood alone today is like horrible horrible jokes about the sky Rock Hudson that none of us have ever heard of cuz we were kids in a playground but it’s just like Rock Hudson
just gay jokes because no one understood what AIDS was or what it meant I remember a bunch and I won’t repeat them cuz they’re terrible yet so it was a good story because you remember that this guy like it’s it’s like we kind of wish that he could have known because obviously he went out fighting and scared and probably ashamed probably deeply ashamed and liked it sent you know he’s like he’s sort of the Randy Quaid in the Independence Day like quickly and in fact academically that like Rock Hudson showing up on the radar at that time we managed to nudge the meteor that could have destroyed so much more a little bit out of its trajectory that people had to start talking about it there was no choice left anymore and so all that leads to Dollars and sense going and you know whatever
it was a weird day I think for a lot of people who is Ronald Reagan’s long dead and it was like Nancy Reagan died and she was actually kind of a I mean weird day for a lot of people with a lot of gay friends who died back then because we were sort of in a in a and now she’s dead and it’s like do you spit if you’re a 55 year old gay guy you when you died in the show but like 20 years after I was in The King and I I went and met the leading lady to be taller and I was eleven when I last saw that I was 31 and she was 41 when I knew her and now she’s 61 and we met with the great talk and it won’t point I said like how is someone’s ever mention all the eye the dancers and she’s like they’re all gone. All of them like they’re all dead Jeff they all died like a few years later and the only dancer
the show that wasn’t that was the only straight guy that was married to one of the women dancers just everybody else is gone is good at all so that’s just one show because all of Broadway died like not just our dance engineers and artists and you know like doctors and I got a huge generation out there but I think the idiocracy that we’re living in right now and look at the candidates that are running to rule the world right now I think a lot of it we never recovered from a giant generation of smart people dying like like at once like in the same with the England has never quite recovered from all of it you know intelligent men are all dying in two Wars over a couple generations and you don’t you don’t get a Churchill anymore you get Cameron and those fucking dick wants you said that Jeff saying Churchill was gay
which I think that’s cool but Churchill you’re going to get Flack for that he suck a dick
name the Churchill Cigar after him because it was the most liked it that
the only thing we have to fear is fear itself and insert stereotype about curtains or prosciutto or something
I bracketed it I’m not fucking the whole the whole quote was don’t think we have to fear is fear itself and terrible Hello Dolly Revival Robert Rob
so right before I walked out on stage he let me know I left a t-shirt that he gave me last week if you don’t want it I’ll give it to somebody who is that where you’re sitting so far are you sitting on far away from him and I sit here every week
do we agree that for cameras better than that I want to sit over by you why do we why do we even have rehearsal why do we come to rehearsal
Alright set reminder for week we do Tech rehearsal dress rehearsals we do a cute it’s cute or her for right before you guys get in here are you guys ready to learn a new thing that I’ve learned in therapy yeah yeah what are you guys to certain date
I have an overactive mind and I hyper-vigilant mind in an easily startled mind
these are things that I’ve learned in therapy
there are symptoms of you get off I said you had nice hair and you freaked out I protected myself
from a compliment
should I go ahead. I’m not I’m not going to and here’s why certainty so certainty
whenever I soak my eye but my therapist has told me and it already fucked up like three times since she prescribed this but at least I’ve noticed
whenever I’m certain of something I need to look at that as a warning sign
okay what are you saying that right now nothing man you’re certain of you if so if somebody says like nice nice hair your hair looks nice and you’re certain that they’re making fun of you then it’s like like it’s before it was it what was that to you ever
what you can become certain of something like like
Rob’s Tier 1 mile atomic bomb to have something sitting in your apartment alone true talking to people is the probably the time I’m just thinking it it’s the it’s a Surefire way to become uncertain and we’ve kind of fight that cuz we get rewarded for it we think whoever would you know we stay safe we’re going to be trying to tell me that I want my bun toasted
I’ve been eating his breakfast sandwich for nigh onto five years I ain’t never got them
turn up so me and then you go like let me guess Toast of the bun cost more and they’re like no I just thought you might like to know I was certain of something if you if you if you had the same amount of information you could just as easily go oh and does it cost more to have the bun toasted the information you need so up speak
look this isn’t for everybody
did she said like what other people need to be the kid need to have more confidence in their certainty than you do she said to me like who I like anybody but me I don’t know chicken him names what I’ll try and Bob and Eric’s Billion people instead of just saying
Dan what are you certain about right now
conscious effort not to do that cuz I listen to the show and I’ve been bad and I like I don’t I don’t I don’t I don’t want I don’t want to cause pain especially you and I don’t you know I’m I’m just I have questions and I just don’t get answers very often and you know I’m trying to figure it out figure it out like the rest of your man trying to get home I might trespass man I’m going to make it by like everybody else man you know I’m trying to make it by I’m trying to make it by like everybody else I think you’re trying to convince us trying to make it by as an actual set playing
it doesn’t even matter if I did or not I got to make it back in juicer and their way I’m just trying to make it a lot more
I didn’t see it when Hitler was in the bunker he’s about to blow him him and his dog and his girlfriend are newly went by
I just got here what am I what I got to go to do they tried the cyanide out in the dog and make sure the cyanide work that they didn’t want to get some bogus I thought maybe somebody gave me some fugazi sign that is just to make you go sleepy town I’m going to wake up in a Russian jail sentence do you like let’s make sure this is actually not kill a dog kill Hitler killed his beloved dog that he had one of the only things that we know that he likes was a duck. You know he had he was thinking like that to birds of fun I want to chill right so the first to make sure and he really liked that dog I think that was probably the hardest decision he probably made
2 minutes I’m going to shoot you in the head with my Luger but I don’t want to make sure I want to make sure the cyanide were taking like it is not just knock you out and has IQ killed how many
bring up the dog kill the dog and wrap it up for doggies worried about rap rap it up I’m just trying to get by a man wrap it up I was trying to get high rap it up man come on just wrap it up put up vacuum the living room one more time I’m going to kill myself
how do you say they got in a big fight where she was like she was like what are you doing he’s like I’m trying another dog and she’s like why it is that cuz I don’t want it to turn out there to hurt this is Mr anti suffering all of a sudden he’s like what does that mean what do you think it makes you tell me what the fuck that meant because I came home and told you I want to kill the Jews and you said that’s nice sweetie you said that’s nice sweetie
don’t you fucking turn your back on me now the Russians are at the door when we are about to die are we on the same team or not just give me the give me the pill give me the pill it’s important to me
isn’t anyone care about what’s important to me Hitler
do you know what a long day I’ve had
no one ever asks what I want anyways hit my head a certain the issue 2
yeah yeah so you think you have that in common other people don’t have what you have anything probably Hitler to write
Sarah and I just I just flat and felt a flash of certainty that you were my enemy and then I just let it float down a river like a Lotus League compared to Hitler doesn’t mean there aren’t your enemy exactly I what do I know
I know my uncle’s ghost is here
but that’s not certainty that’s just my ghost busting equipment the EKGs are going up Spencer do you relate to that certain issue or do you have it a whole different kind of angle now with me man but he’s saying it sounds like his therapist identified a pattern of self-defeating thinking and tried to get them to you know identified early on and intervene before it gets out of control and seems pretty smart
how about how about that Ghostbusters right
I intentionally did not watch the trailer even though everybody on Facebook and Twitter is trying to make me watch it I don’t want it I don’t want to know a single thing about it when I walk in the cold to that one I wanted to be good because who doesn’t want to enjoy something
well I didn’t know that there was a Batman Superman movie coming out in this young latina Lyft driver she was telling you excited about the new Superman Batman and I didn’t know that you know if everybody that I like says it’s awesome I’ll probably go see it if if nobody says it’s great I want I will never see it at a girl who’s playing at cuz Ben Affleck as Batman like not seeing it fucking dumb, only has the mask on the whole time so I never have to look at my face and I know you listen to harmontown
you have a dumb place I waited in
who’s directing this one is it is it going to be a nipple Batman Frank Miller Batman rob you care about such things I still haven’t seen Star Wars keychain I had just done yoga in Spanish
Evan is as one does when you’re on a health kick I went to straight to the drawing-room to have drinks
and then my friend said hey we have an extra ticket to go see Star Wars cuz it like a week after it came out do you want to come like all right so I was tired and I’d like to do yoga and spend and you have three drinks your sleepy so I fell asleep five minutes into that movie 3D glasses on and I had to wake me up a really 5 minutes and it was a great nap cuz you got great music
my baby is always a good music and don’t like oh we thought you were just really in the zone
so then I think I got to go see this movie I’m going to see it alone I’m going to be rested sober I’m going to watch this movie this is Star Wars Star Wars and I are going back to see the next week I’m like okay I got to go back and see that I had a dream that a dream or I went to the Vista theater in Los Feliz and saw Star Wars fell asleep in it
fell asleep in your dream in my dream and in my dream my dream was about the dreams I had while not watching Star Wars
call Mike this has got to be boring
Jeff you know we’re already impressed by you you don’t have to tell us your dream your dreams don’t have to be special
can you certain he’s really bumming me out right all right
I’m going to wait at so it’s coming in April
that’s my story, you’re right what’s coming in April
what’s the last thing
Tunes I watch the watch the omen I just watched both versions of the omen I didn’t know there was a leave Schreiber version Iowa I watched yeah
my lover is a is a writer and researcher.
Amanda director
in the third person
it’s October 2nd our first person on the phone
all right well yeah area movies about Omens were they all movies about Omens
anybody hear this and hear what I’m about to say I really hope you sleep really good bird call like like six flags are our theme parks are are hitting people with virtual reality headsets and stuff and then you like go on a roller coaster and butted you’re on a spaceship and you’re flying around I want to do that that’s kind of pretty cool I hate roller coasters but I think I’d be good I love roller coasters like him but I go so I do that we’ve been on exit Magic Mountain know I don’t like them it’s fucking good
good night I love you brother I wouldn’t like it you would like it why I don’t like chocolate puppies
now I just don’t
if your favorite unicorn ride going to make chocolate puppies
no I don’t I don’t like roller coasters if I do that I don’t I don’t like being the last time I heard that I was in a car driving home with the money airport in my ear hadn’t popped and I was in agonizing pain and I got and I said once between the baggage carousel and fucking home I said I said anyway your relationship with need is so fucked up that even I can see it crazy and he just did it to you right in front of me
tell me about to make chocolate pudding
Spencer you’re not about to make tacos movies I can tell by looking at you that’s very kind of you to say I wouldn’t I would agree I just call em like I see him to watch this movie was great was it called demons demons demons oh man 90 demons I can’t explain it because it’s just a bad movie and explaining a bad movie just sounds terrible bad is in quotes
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, never misses a lot but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes related my own life so it’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerves like ever you’re always in good hands
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Herman and I never sell the other Omens I don’t I love the first one is great as more than two hours with Gregory Peck and then I believe it’s Sam Neill is a grown up Damien and he’s just like president in the stuff that killed Jesus when he gets born and their runs like we’re trying boss
Anna and somehow a three-act movie but that’s all that happened I fell asleep please leave I think I fell asleep so I don’t want to put an alarm for this person to spot if they’re like a spot with your first name first name if you think there’s a reason what is that like like like Justin Roiland told me you’re here is William here ya are you sure he didn’t tell me whether or not you might be willing to come up are you willing to come up okay we’ll come up come up and I’ll introduce you

are you doing now you’re just be interesting if it turns out to be the case that process didn’t really filter out the possibility of you being a lying sociopath
sociopath what what’s your last name and you are the creator of the one of the most amazing video games in the world The Stanley Parable took creates a fellow creator
I’m here at your visiting from the UK so so you would you’ve never been in front of a crowd may be that the little Island right now but now but you must have been at uvuvuevuevue it’s a critically acclaimed game and it’s like it’s it’s it’s amazing so you’ve been in front of adoring people before you said you created who’s the other person OK Google I want to listen to Lowe’s if I get an Applause
search up. Just the two of you Partners like like like what’s the expertise in both sides design of it so The Stanley Parable is this amazing indicate what what it was like before I explain it to them cuz I don’t fully understand what happened did you go to valve know so are we
we made the game and then we took we took the valve and they just publish it yet well we will pull so we just still older okay William Purity insulted you know what Britain you know I was insulted Churchill
he’s a big burger he didn’t fucking he just put his dick in it
all right so anyways it’s amazing video game there’s no there’s no given birth to a hemorrhoid in my leg
it’s like a third person shooter go for it and then
but there’s no shooting into just watching this thing and it’s based on the narration there’s a video that keeps explaining about you in the third person voice over that Stan Stanley and so you’re coordinated with the voice-over up into a definitive point where there’s like a red door and a blue door and then it says the hot well there’s only a how you could walk down but there Comes This definitive Point early in the game where there’s a red door to Blue Door I’m paraphrasing it is literally that I can’t remember and then the voiceover says Stanley thought about it for a moment and then walk through the red door but you can do either thing and so you have to decide right in that moment I am I going to keep doing what the voice-over it says that I’m doing or am I going to definitively do the opposite to do it doesn’t matter that you make has like this tree
and what is the weight and there’s a tree in it so when you’re interested in computers yet I used to be a planet but now I ask what what’s your earliest memory of interfacing with a Computing machine as you germinate like animation and start looking started that’s what you mean where you going to be at a room
are you from Leeds even where I’m from people that know where I’m from so why would you give him a shot but where are you from and what part of England are I am from a small village called triangle in West Yorkshire triangle from way up North up north then you know more about that than I thought it was a place to Yorkshire so video games
Carmen Sandiego
Grandma’s making chocolate pizza.
what is a relatively short period of time since the first day that you started interfacing with a machine and realizing that you could do more than just consume what it was checking out at you and you could make it do what you wanted to do around ten years old between nine years later you’re creating a video game that if a middle-aged man had come up with after decades and Decades of interfacing with machines they would have been very very proud of not to mention a middle-aged woman don’t fucking write letters
the butt butt flake so what’s what’s a couple things first but there’s a tree of things that I could ask you as a kind of parable but like I took what what is it when you like that makes it critically acclaimed is it it has it has a distinct style to think it’s a video game that has it’s it’s it’s it’s it looks like a film is directed and yet you’re interacting with it so which of you and your partner who’s got this like weird passion for subverting the entire like that was both of us I suppose like I’m going to throw me under the bus as a lot of very important yeah I’m a representative we getting a glimpse since you are so young are we getting a glimpse at something that you wish had used the resources like what
can you like do you what you want to keep doing this just yeah yeah I’m here to what kind of pill thing with Justin
I wish you would have told me about that but Rover
it was good but don’t go back and look at it
keep going keep going.
Are you going to move the stake now thanks Slickers I don’t know anything about Portland England but they connected to a giant America so you can let your is like there’s a land bridge to the rest of us some people find it convenient that you already worked on games before you take again to order exists exists like off life or whatever and then you just change things you make things out of the already existing pump Sneed move it about that’s why I did what kind of mods did you make or they just unofficial just for your own things on your way
I thought you were an employee of of of of the game manufacture your own under 18 minutes I started working on it when I was seventeen and then I’ve been released or not as nice as you learn the skills that you needed to make your own game coding the whole thing you’re doing about your saw is not coding I don’t have to cut all right and you go in like it like you pitching a TV show you picture that has a game idea I have and you pitch it to this larger company that usually great you give another game in the works
we are all the art that your next project we’ve got to one is 2D + 1 is via me every
funny but let’s not let’s not cross the line into a full feeding him about it but I’m going to look the first call out maybe what what it was that was amusing you
is that the Williams reaction lake lake
oh get something it’s having a great time at your show guys what is wrong with you are laughing for the right reason
guys just want to have Heather good time she just trying to make it far as trying to make it by
trying to make it by the only happiness in his life that you make fun of Shame and terrible yeah that’ll save everything keep it going
vodka same day
Archer runs on vodka that’s that’s the gasoline William. Do you think that mankind needs to be governed
here we go
depends what you mean government how do you make oven and a hot way I mean just like like told told what to do yeah I mean funny people keep calling each other governor governor Wright ding ding we were all thinking it. Why do you people are okay alright
I could have got there by myself right now but you knew what I was talking about
that’s that it it’s not an absolute truth but it’s it’s it’s heavily backed by like yeah a lot of a hundred years it’s it’s a it’s an allowable I do love you live in London Liam Neeson triangle angle of a triangle is actually all the puss
we govern all the puss
so have you achieved were you born when you load Born High born born how is Lowman Lowman born
yes Milo mint boyfriend I’m representing you have you have you have you have you changed much then we split it down depending on the day. Even like do any services like that I just put it on the site was it strictly 100% on Steam rich rich rich Woody Drive Austin Martin or something I don’t know what I was looking for it so tiny there you can watch
Triangle Square
oh that’s what it is
didn’t even realize I thought everyone was laughing at like a United Kingdom joke that I was like no no no I guess I guess England famous for its seven points
Stone before the show are you alright are tickets for your amazing Buttermilk Biscuits California residents.
I don’t know why I try not to use emails but I I guess I do remember
I don’t even know if you got good podcast about
all right
I feel like I feel like we should be charging people double for that is double for this show.
Spencer. Do you have any questions about do you have any table magic tonight does anybody have a why do you have a table why do why do we have a table.
Amy said let’s go but I know one thing let’s keep the tape we’re too lazy to change our writer Riverside we have the same watch smelly a fashion statement just to have one of your pocket or you said it’s about watch it’s like I do you put an iPhone on my wrist you reminded me that I was so happy that watches didn’t have to be a thing anymore and I don’t know I keep giving a shot though I keep feeling like I don’t see there’s a few drinks do you do the stand-up every 10 times a day thing
because there’s a text that I’m holding you think of that Sarah and Erica.
Cuz you usually holding a drink in her hand
that’s crazy how you got your nose works like a finger
it’s dumb now and I don’t want to take it off Apple watch and I don’t pull it out of my pocket
all right see you got rich really young are you afraid are you afraid of the burnout you just get other people to been up for you what are you talking about
what’s the burn out of the mad but a PS2 been out the development team died business. And so I’m what happened was they have to like do crunch which is that you would like 16 to 20 hours a day and then what happens if they did that like 6 months and then at the end like within like yeah all of them that died of the burnout
I felt like I felt like you were you were hoping there were more video game industry people in the audience just wait at the point where you said they had to do Crunch and you’re like cricket cricket what is the why why would you be afraid of the Burnet prostitutes have like five good years you know it’s like it’s like that with with cota’s it’s cuz you just work so you work crazy hours all the time like the present to sign up and been in the business for decades
perhaps you should start seeing other prostitutes
do not tell me how to have a good time while you are there any new role playing like a sexual assaults go to that right now
sometimes I guess like how you do that voice when you know I’m I’m just still about fucking
it’s one of these moments like when people that listen to the podcast for free that this was for $5 you can watch that podcast I feel like people need to know that we have a sexy 22 on Russell Brand Game Nerd
and you’re really robbing it’s off right now because they’re made the money you can hear over he’s rattling in here right now
ovaries are supposed to rain at all
it’s been out there not supposed to be able to Rattle that they get the most that’s that’s like
it’s it’s like a rattlesnake I like going to take like a
we’ll talk about so you probably won’t catch a did you ever see I like when
have you ever have you ever like like during a one-night-stand cuz who cares what happens after but like the first night like you’re with a person and then you’re like in the Heat of the Moment we’re going to do it we’re going to do it at every word in role-playing in that I know you never said we were going to do it we’re going to do it but have you ever have you ever like like like Snapped into role-playing like in that moment the first night first day out by the answer the question yeah what are you do is a job then we came to sign on people on interested in that system times I just lie I say I’m a construction worker and then you have sex with those people and don’t leave character as a construction worker Catcher in the Rye roleplay
you know it’s a good one I’ve used before I could like to believe you are nice like I don’t care anymore but I get bored if I said I didn’t think I did a couple times this is a good one for guys that are just terrible people if you want to be a liar say your high school principal
add fucking adhere to it say what school does do you work for I feel like I’m the principal School principal. If you really want to do
the word is you’re either lying to a stranger the entire time and then they never know or at some point at it they go like come on you’re not you you’re been lying to me and I should not trust people in the future and you’re like
Milwaukee one of the first cuz I was like the next you and go like hey how’s it going like they did it in LA and made them never made this mistake again I was like hey how’s it going to go fine fine and yes so what are you do I had no idea I was committing the sin if that’s what I need any enemies that I suck screen t-shirts and I and I said that’s what you think so where’s that self clean the screen of a thing and Anna and I went I went back to my house and I wrote movies
and I never went out again
her body was nobody with my ex-roommate million years ago that the place that you live in the Run Angry Irish roommate Paul and animator and nobody’s in there and we’re just I was like can you do all cuz he was Irish and I said can you do all UK and Irish like can you do Regional dialects I’m pretty good at it till I go give me like give me like Aberdeen Scotland as I can tell he’s doing a Scottish accent so I was trying to like make him and do it so we’re just not for anybody else nobody in there and so we’re just talkin like Scott heating a perfect. As I’m trying to do it too and the bartenders there he’s heard he’s heard me already speak American English and he’s heard this guy to be Irish and Scottish the bar starts to fill up and all the sudden girls just like gravitating toward this negative
I got to go back to their seat or whatever so now there’s this girl and she’s hanging out and so we’re doing 50 kilometres you have no idea and going to leave for 5 minutes cuz like I really want to go home with you but I just have to talk to my dad first he’s the minister of sentence faction and it’s William Atherton and like two wigs and glasses to go away and not hang out with two dorks pretending to be Scottish at the bar hanging out in the bartender
he’s like a boy that were committing to it but now it was I’m doing it like I’m getting better at it and so
we all leave at finally they go away and I thought that was
dodged the bullet are all my God how do you do it let’s discuss it later on so I only do at night
biscotti weed
so I end up seeing this goddamn check every place I went for the rest of my life
we spent an hour lying to her and she would come in I’ll be at a bar and I got a fuck I’m Scottish
play the fucking year goes by so I would see her every 8 days were at wherever I went there was only like five cool bars to go to back then it wasn’t so I got good how you doing I’m good how are things
just having a drink where’s your accent look I’m an actor am I acting coach told me
that if you want to get rules you can’t just go in with a Scottish accent so I’m quick I have to practice my American all the time
well because I saw this is me trying to be a good person I’m just going to move to a different state so this doesn’t have to keep your America.
pretty good
all right I sent years later ran into her and told her the truth that the whole thing was sick
now she said that one is named Nancy Reagan
can I drive safely
just say Life’s a Circle the most complicated design art departments like a setup like how much lead time that I have to have I am not at Liberty to discuss my sexual role playing because it’s too hot
are you afraid of point we can’t handle it is that I have discovered recently after you know after living my life going like I wish I was on the playground is like Hey Hey kid why why why are you why are you going to get boogers on your jacket with what do I do how come you talk that way walk that way in P that way and throw a ball that way and then right that way and that way and think that way you smell that way and didn’t behave even sure that the answer to that is always because I’m awesome and I like that I just like this getting more and more taste of it and just got going like no you’re going to fucking kneel before me and then I was like why is that the answer is going to be why aren’t you doing it this way and that way and then along the way it was sort of like caught up in this sort of like well the big key to that is like public but you don’t Spotlight transparency like there should be no barrier between
your what what’s going on in your head and what’s coming out of your mouth and what’s going on behind closed doors and because that’s everybody else is Jim because they’re all ashamed of themselves and they’re all they’re all terrible people their shadow people and they want you to be merged with their Shadows music going to be honest if you got to be who you are and you’re going to flaunt who you are and they’re going to not kill you any of that that’s when you’re going to know you succeed in my life like tricking people into situations where they’re tempted to try to kill me so I can prove that the can so I can be alive and consider myself a success I just have to fucking syndrome and then I like a public relationship and I got married and divorced and I was like wait like like they did none of it matters if you put your dick in what you did with it that was a kind of like I don’t know what if there was a little bit of a box around that
how have you been a box around here and what if everybody that you knew intimately like there was a box around there but it’s like
I know you can do it like like yeah I mean I’ve I wish I want nothing more than to be able to tell people like like what like what I get up to when I fuck but it says the fact is society couldn’t handle it
and that’s why I call I’m able to come that’s the only thing that could ever make me come so if I told you you’d be like oh and then it could be like me so then I have to go further than that I feel like I’m hard you’d be like that’s crazy and I might yep it was
I’m going to Sweet Spot I got some costume like the privacy of your own Dirty Little Secret I got a criminal places terrible low ethically horrible places
I’m not coming in until I only go to that place but I’m saying dark crevices of the human imagination
because you’re not supposed to but with with with somebody whose consent really into that too
oh okay no. That’s the whole point
mythical tentacle.
Yes but it’s horrible and there’s really no way I’d ever wouldn’t be horrible like every other language is monitored and if you say this then you intend this but that’s not really true because we know that the people that are really good at saying things right are some of the worst people in the world I don’t have anywhere down here police in each other’s language because we’re so caught up in the idea of language being intense but we’re still disguising it down here because when you get behind closed doors it’s all about like it’s it’s like a it’s a thought and it’s intense and stuff and it’s like the way you treat each other it should be I don’t got nowhere to go with that stuff
you’re the best the Baseline have you ever dressed up either yourself or you’re at the hospital or your level. Costume have you ever gone to a different era
but yes the 80s I like that but no nothing nothing no Dangerous Liaisons kind of Lake Owen oscar-worthy stuff yes I get is I got the what’s your favorite film that you’ve been in the Independence Day arrived of a global like look somebody in like a bunch of wanted to go see Independence Day
so I guess I’m not I shouldn’t I’m asking the wrong person but I’m just curious I kind of like another American who blew them up movie and it’s like aliens attack and is not be about to keep bringing up what used to rule the world that the aliens were real allegory for the British is there like a good they should have a shot of like a wig like 20 British guys like pulling off flight helmets and going like you know what if you’re going to make it fucking complicated for us allegory and that’s it that’s absolutely ripping up Shakespeare I could have the same Christmas Day
did you know that Shakespeare invent the word eyeball
God is going to bring this up again
you guys are stopping at each other is that true yes is it true yes I bought compromise uncomfortable except comfortable already exists it so personal credit will give it to this is a promotion for my new show great minds on the History Channel
because because because because of a pentameter has strict rules it has to be Romeo Romeo wherefore art the running its Romeo but you can’t convey Romeo because yeah you’re probably different Italy knowingly cause a truth yeah it would have been famous
minimum age to do when I got that right
delicious you say your pajamas and I think they’re fine just on their own if you heat them up two great minds on History Channel
25 the good show
you want to set up the clip yeah this is episode 6 we go into the center of the earth play the clip. Every time we go to the this happens every time
oh look out the window there’s a historical figure why is he down there
looks like it’s a small
someone someone called out it’s Billy Zane and I guess Jake is Billy Zane’s out there we can do this the easy way or the hard way
he’s doing his line from Back to the Future 3
will that hold on William you’re going to get a part I’ll go to say I’ve only seen 14 episodes of Ben 10 and the first one
can you shut up a bit I don’t know what the point is I’m sorry if I know I’m interrupting your to play how to play any character in from history anybody at all who would it be all right so just do it will it will it will it will it will let you go Q you’ll know when you’re coming into the scene it’s think of it like it’s a radio play this is a woman price thank you
all right so we’re in we’re in a drill with the center of the earth we just got Billy Zane look what’s right next to Billy Zane at The Iron Lady
let’s let’s listen to see what she’s saying
she’s doing drowning we should pick her up
get in here by Iron Lady strapped into the into the cargo bay let’s let’s get you back up topside guess I don’t need any help
I was in this season
Spencer either you have to get out with Margaret Thatcher and I’ll go back down and get Billy’s name or you leave the fox with the chicken feed
why don’t you leave oh yeah I’ll go I’ll be right back you guys sit here I’ll drive off in the Mobile coming on right now looks like he looks like we’ve come up above ground here in Kentucky
Margaret Thatcher you look you look you look you look terrible and if you feel like you’ve been through a lot of clothes and fed
new change of clothes without a lava and dirt it up and and then we’ll go get you some food
click clock click clock click clock Billy Zane are you down here and help me please help me please
they left me behind it will be my legs broken
bone sticking out of my leg hurts so much help me play help me that was the case why were you just quoting earlier lines you’ve done the last time we can review
show me your weird questioning me the bone is sticking out of my leg year did you know right LOL I was speaking before when you left me I know it’s really sad my benevolence here I going to get out of here
please tell me I’m Billy up
I love you on season 6 find fish where was I going to beat Fitch Abercrombie and Diamond was going to beat Fitch an idiot meanwhile at Abercrombie & Fitch
excuse me
alright alright well here’s the keys
turn the lights off ok Google schedule a down all the ones and fives and tens and twenties and fifties all on the table please don’t let anybody steal it and put it in like these trash bags that are right next door to keep those keys I’m just going to walk home because it’s too hard to take by car key off of that so okay you look at good people
you just put a trust in us about a girl
Montage Montage of trying on clothes and then feeling things in British morel
Shark Bar

all right finishing filling up bags with cash and and also you come out of the dressing over the perfect dress and I’m like that’s the last one
and then and then and then and then we run out to the parking lot and we it’s all right I just forgot my lunch box put out
I’m just call me I think I am
piano wire that I stole from the piano section of historic
the run is over there I don’t know
what are some kind of magician oh my God what are you doing
it’s a big joke why would you steal my money at detect why you killing me when I got you. I trusted you
I trusted you
why you don’t buy piano wire in fish
if you can’t kill somebody with us all right when I’m at Margaret Thatcher behind him and I’ll push you over his back I’m kind of three and then we’ll have fallen down so anyways just out here stargazing and
it took 11 minutes for me to crawl up here about that I have finally going to get my revenge and you Margaret Thatcher for breaking my heart yes that’s what we’re going to do a fucking hell
later in hell
these are your legs
and I’m the I’m the devil and I’m whippin you both
Allama heck yeah she keep talking
and I’m kind of like getting suspicious wait a minute
who who’s taking advantage of who hair
Billy Saint Margaret Thatcher
and then I and then I walked back to my devil office
and I’m like demoralized and like I don’t even know why you look so blue Stephanie could you hold all my calls and important devil things to do just come in my office and just hear me out of this isn’t going to be one of your HR seminar about
I’m going to tell you exactly where I’m sorry I’m sorry if I’m coming into town I’m sitting over here
Stephanie my high heels popped off my heel of my
let me hear Let me pop that back on before I dangled there for a while
so she goes again by Papa background dangle dangle dangle.
what is it what’s on your mind
Stephanie I’ve got two things to say to you what is it devil
I think you lost your shoe and you’re fired now that did make me hear oh okay
I know it Stephanie don’t you’re not fired you brought me the office I’m assuming for a reason like a lot of work to do at don’t feel like hell is working you used to have an edge because I go out that your whipping people that enjoy it like now I got to be more fun in hell and heaven and I think maybe that you’re not like maybe you’re secretly your ear like I feel like a god well I don’t know what it’s gotten big it’s running without me and it’s a it’s a bummer I just got done with being a politician I wasn’t coming to the door you said holder cost open it. Hello hey it’s me
I hate to be a dick with a copy machine to still does not have enough toner in it and I
I’m sorry Stephanie I had a long time ago I T problems with me
it’s it’s just it’s just ink toner you need to learn to delegate like like things like I don’t give you relegate or delegate get some shit
great. Now he’s got solved through a portal I ain’t no more later at a bar
you want you want the usual give me two of the usual right
Nicole Kidman
as I live
hey Kate Kidman I told you never to come back to this bar by turning into a bat
creep you are hurt at work at this job you work pretty hard at work I work I work 16-hour crunches
too much man much too much I printed out and I’m in hell you got to learn to smell
God I haven’t thought about that I haven’t thought about that this new like hanging out with you guys are having a family we can get well Christmas cards for most of them but we went to college together and we we been we’ve been working on this new new type of new type of way to make like ceramics
for real yeah yeah it’s new it’s all you know like healthy have the card right that’s what it says on the box have the time have the cost you don’t have to be waiting for it to get out of the oven to have a cup of coffee when I get in on the ground floor of this I’ll sell the bar I’ll get in to eat my bike I was going to say you got the pizza oven there and we can move the video game over there we we’ve got ourselves a business Ceramics right here in the bar right right
there’s a graph showing the ceramic sales and the bartender and showered with a montage of people buying ceramic got so much money that I can I can I talk to you man-to-man okay let me let me close the drapes
I feel like I’m doing all the heavy lifting are Pinhead I feel like yeah yeah you said we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for all my fucking Blood Sweat and Tears I okay so I’m actually taking somebody is open in the Draper
Turlock the drapes
what are you guys talking about Nicole
the weight of one just asking okay I’m on my way to work
Transit bus give me the cold shoulder lately
I mean hid to love it. I’ll get it I’ll get it
black drapes
Hellenic how it’s Tom you say to me you can say in front of my friends
you hurt me well enough in front of everyone
silicon Leaf main account know that’s the problem Tom the problem for you it’s that I can I’ll clean it up and tighten it later
can they get divorced like 20 years ago over world
listen I love you Nicole for all intents and purposes I love you
that’s what I’m afraid of Tempe afraid Nicole but
about 1 but what
what but what but are you guys each other this conversation like a communicate with each other
I might not have been born when that happens but I wasn’t born yesterday but when that happened we all were and you know what you do and it all comes down to whether or not you love me or don’t love me it’s whether or not when I look in your eyes I can feel I can feel what I used to feel
I’m walking I put my hand on a pane of glass and there’s raindrops on the other side
and on the other side of that window pane you can still soup Billy’s date of Margaret Thatcher fucking Escape out there
I need something while in it and a record needle goes down and
well Nicole
I’m going to have to get my lawyer involved
Tom no yes Nicole yes it’s past the point now to call my lawyer
how are you how sorry I was in your purse
all right we’ll wait a minute wait a minute
right yeah I was in your purse
I know I’m just poking my nose and my fingers out him I’m like I’m a lawyer
fine I love you I love you look at you it got nice yes yes yes I’m Tom Cruise Nicole Kidman
can we still leave because when I realize I don’t feel safe with him thank you Tom
cut back to the devil’s office was it with Stephanie was it was my name but I’ve been looking around everybody’s having a good time Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman got back together kind of their country top is kind of over it is having the time of her life
yeah so why don’t I just put on a what am I doing here why don’t we all right I’m the one holding up the show barely barely breaking even get me God
this time
I got it Steph I got the deboned on the phone for you that I put you on ya go for it.
hey how’s it going
you know I mean you you know
yeah you don’t call too much for the suit that’s not uncommon to hear from you it’s good to hear you
daisy crazy crazy yeah it’s like I don’t even know what’s punishment what’s reward yeah when you’re outside of my glory things get all mixed up
but you at all about that paradise my friend
yeah I just I miss you I miss you I miss you
I know I know I know
we should get together sometime yeah I know I’m planning on that a couple couple thousand years
devil devil call him back I’m calling it back to you I told you what you was talking about
everyone has a fucking mouth
are you are you with us honey
you have such a bad fall big guy
yeah it’s self-destructive you keep you keep happy if you keep getting fired from your own jobs like you’re in charge of how long you think now it’s being run by this weird ceramic Corporation it’s going and it’s really horrifying
and the devil’s dick
the moves upward like Pinocchio’s nose
through the ceiling of the hospital
into the sky where it blooms into a red tree
with green leaves
I was in those green leaves caterpillars feed
says the little caterpillar
a cat yeah yeah yeah
the actual
really had to pay in real life doesn’t realize P oh yeah we’ve been up here a long time I just realized he was gesturing and he was like Jett pointing and I was like I was like like like should I leave and I was like no baby
like I was doing him a big favor like no come on we’re all people here and he’s
the guy is right there is he’s having a great time
I want to have a button to push for that happens at all time you do it’s called the show and you like Savannah
I want to do plumbing a log and somebody’s Laughlin
but it’s just I think it’s the way it hits the microphones that it’s the redditors you know they’re joyless they don’t hear a lot of laughter
so they’re like they’re like oh my God that’s already grading justly I do this the sound of joy and general and then that guy is like holyshit Joy thing going on here I think
the Westin tonight oh I thought we learned a lot and probably something that you can blog to like I love you have a good day
yeah yeah yeah yeah just let me feel you
Michael Jackson facts
I guess I have to replace them
I hope the other one know this was intimidating again reminds me of the movie and then
yeah yeah yeah yeah are you crazy for this one time
yeah leaving here.
Yeah East Coast
turn off the stick around
East Coast is the only coat it’s an unpopular opinion but only on the west coast the West Coast doesn’t exist as an artificial constructs written by o list of people call them Jews
east coast and east coast and I believe the Zionist
extreme east coast and be submitted rapper don’t get any more than this
sister concept at work shopping
just sounds like
yeah you pick this workout yeah yeah spaghetti linguine pasta sauce
who’s the time give me a second don’t don’t help
I mean at 6th Street right as extreme and I said fine.
Put feel a little to 10% chance just feel 10% Shane and I think that everyone told
all right. Losing subscribers
yeah top down bottom up what’s your mama’s so hard she looks like a cup the diameter of a vagina big as North Carolina put my dick in it so hard your mama into the front and back yard but you’re so close to an end
Nancy Reagan dead
everybody do the Atlantic
that’s all consent to it
call Jennifer Williams.
Side to side
Goshen West cookies everybody who was the sport of the knife
what are your nutrition what your mama so she can get two wishes
that was badass
your mama for two weeks
okay alright
What treatments are history and then we’ll see you at South by Southwest but this still going to be a show here next week


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