Episode: 206 – Celebrity Highlander

Episode

Episode: 206 – Celebrity Highlander

Description

Of Search Party and Arrested Development Alia Shawkat stops by self-imposed sleepy Harmontown with a historical 30 minute MeUndies commercial. Visit MeUndies.com/feral. Become a member at harmontown.com/live

Transcript

Hollywood California
oh yeah
do you have a picture
karaoke
bounding across the stage like a mountain goat
I gave you a show
it’s been a long weekend is Comic-Con weekend how many of you were in San Diego this weekend
it was a it was a it was a long haul and a very enjoyable one we’ve got we we learned a lot you had a busy dock until you were all over the shop
Aisha Anderson Business Daily to make some deals
it was just trying to figure out what business to get out of the way we have a guest tonight and chat with chat with her
Ryan Ridley is also going to join us in a bit
The Riddler
I didn’t talk about this last night that I think Friday the 8th is it is it was like it was like stats about how great his speech went like it was so weird
what happens no one has to love you in order for that to happen but doesn’t mean you did something right
I think you come down and Trump a little too hard sometimes
let the man have a chance to talk
open tag did he did he like took the Washington post’s press credentials away or something like you can’t follow me around anymore cuz you always say mean things but that’s the newspaper that yeah they’re like totally anti Trump headline is like he’s a piece of shit like she complained about it they said well why don’t you come in because he kept talking about how they edit the articles are they do they misrepresenting so they brought him in and just sat them down and they they publish the entire transcript guess what he’s a fucking dumbass I like like it was like a 3-hour transcript of them just going like like like like what do you think of mixing is it makes it was great it was a president he was a huge president okay what about Abe Lincoln president
all right
but you guys can hear about all about that I was going to wait I got a sucking feeling he’s going to win I’m not a pessimist I don’t want him to I just feel like it’s I just feel like we didn’t think you was going to get this far and he’s all the way in to the beach which is us all dying
or will he or will he ride a Russian conspiracy to get him elected into the DNC shit pretty crazy man and Wikileaks loves Milo yiannopoulos all the sudden some crazy world shit man yeah they got out of there till. Be right there. You there
he’s like a pro Trump guy the campuses are turning like you know you know it looks like there’s a little Trump heads on the campus is because what how else are you going to rebell now they just they just want to see the worry people you know that’s a really fond of this this guy would rather the code is cracking them because they love a gay guy that this guy is gay and also a human being that they have that they love but they love him cuz he says all kinds of fuckedupshit and if you if you complain back then you’re homophobic
it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s pretty it’s kind of fun like it’s easy to follow politics now cuz it’s like someone with a toy truck like I couldn’t get through one episode of House of Cards on my I don’t know what the fuck
just confusing
Dan Harmon really glad you like that show I’m not glad Jeff likes that show up
oh but if I tell him I am well in about two terms heelflip like a Labradoodle a fellow party
oh Dan Harmon and I’m sure she is too at many of you she played maeby in Arrested Development she’s up
the rest of her resume is like she clearly she’s she’s probably someone enough to not mind being called to have definitely a presence in the Hip Pocket of Comedy she’s Deputy Chief of Staff on Trump’s campaign but I just ran into her at the Alia shawkat is here
I just I just had the crazy Panic right as I was introducing your cuz I thought I said it out loud in front of her shock at
there’s a panic struck with a lot of people at the top
I’m happy
I’m really are you sure you’re not you’re not getting any flak from the Elmo for industry people are here
is that what color Elmo is she’s listening and
alright so let’s talk about when I was at was at Turner you were the weird thing that was Anderson Cooper and Charles Barkley are as a 3-3
three man, DT my face they really tore the place up it was great cuz like Conan O’Brien and Charles Barkley basketball jokes about I’m taller than you, nerd like Anderson Cooper said guys I’m gay has been built like one of my eyes glazed over 5 sports jokes ago and it was really cool different affect a drone
on a leash yeah that was like hovering like a and I felt like this weird prom queen to an event I had no attachment to it cuz it’s like right so like I may not promote his advertisement so it’s like people from all over the country selling stuff for these networks and they’re like pushing Turner you know so they’re like we make you do 18 224 like all these percentages of fireworks that was like I took a picture of one thing I was like Wolf Blitzer standing in front of a big screen that said like your your Brand Plus Turner’s reach equal it was like it was like we’re announcing the election results.
I was going to be a squeaker NFL assure you that the Super Bowl is going to be is going to be packed ready state-run television like you’re already just this one tube the people get all their information or go crazy like saving and we have to make it that way the whole point is for no thumb to be on there like a stone weighs a lot and journalist like I don’t know just want to make this fun during these debates and things like that
pressing there was some 9/11 footage like we’re always there CNN’s always there
two and a half big heads are you one of those slanted. They doing another Apprentice season and Donald Trump is this whole thing just to like go to watch The Apprentice remember I almost like a president or presidency he’s already one who’s the most famous person in the world right now you might be the most famous person of all time you can’t go anywhere in the world where he’s not a punch line or a setup for a thing like it’s it’s it’s serious business tiny little late.
actually running the body the worst thing was at Comic-Con our creator of Rick and his friends Alex Hirsch & Tucker showed up like every single goddamn throw never in the game like like like they’re there were just yeah I like I didn’t know it was going to happen like a 3 deck old like Rockefellers Yachts kind of looking thing from the old days and four star nerd comedy animate her friends hanging out and I around the bend and I see a guy and I recognize I got all my God I just put my hand out any and it’s Sam well write the Game of Thrones books
oh I go to the bar Ramsay Bolton
that was the that was the most freaked out what are your Game of Thrones prison now I’m not sure that you can just remember it’s like Dinklage and that’s it like everybody else is like your menu Sherman Dern’s actually that would be easy to remember your insurance but the tough thing was because fancy there from an HBO show there from the most watched over there like nerd royalties wanted to ask was what’s it like to be so fucking crazy famous right now they had witches of answered it said that they paid if they can either their answer is going to be the weirdest the most distorted
answering that question so is like pointless to ask that but it’s really all I can think of two attitude like
Chris is Somaya Simone sorry I don’t know how it has changed forever I don’t know why it so I don’t know why I do that but into somebody like a buffet in of someone and interact with them so they actually know who I am I just like to like get stoned or something like grapes good but it just seemed like kind of like change reality where it’s like this person that I’m used to seeing talk I guess I don’t know that’s the only best take what I can get for my cuz I need someone try to like connect with someone of a fan of never works late because that’s like that’s something that
I just want to finish my white one without go so you don’t think that I will have these weird Segways because I would hate for you to think that this thing runs like a bummer was that in the midst of all of that humility and then Fanboy it’s just that I was feeling the only other thing for them to talk about was like so Trump you know about that shit
but it is something for him to worry about leaving to take care of a kind of worried about his fingers is got to worry about it he had ten fingers and the crazy thing just finished shooting so they all have the same haircut in clothes shirts but it’s probably the show is ubiquitous enough that you are you familiar with the image of verus the bald eunuch like he’s kind of portly like where is like a big row maybe even encountered this image of this guy like he’s the master of Master of Gossip incidents of sabotage and subterfuge realize I’m fairly a network of underage children to I don’t know
and he can teleport sometimes but not
across the entire planet has three things about him that that make him recognizable in there that he was the one guy cuz he had it was tan Vera’s with like a full head of hair
he probably was sad about that that’s what you want you got it you want to play a character that like has an eye patch or something so that you can get detach yourself you were super young when you were interested right now let me know what was your I know you do you know you grew up in Palm Springs I just researched like so so where you were you coming to church with us
Sherman’s Deli on my dad so my grandfather didn’t like was born in New Orleans in Lake had a career in Hollywood in like the 50s and 60s he was in like Thomas Crown Affair and Valley of the Dolls and then and then he did a TV show called Naked City and then he kind of got like blacklisted with the British model whose husband was like a studio or something that happens around Hollywood and then my dad is from Baghdad Baghdad
came over in the 70s like $200 in his pocket and that his family owns a lot of the big strip clubs in Hollywood like he was a barbed tail was the first one cuz he was trying to still convinced himself that he was like
and my mom was like a lot school dropout and so she got a job as a waitress at The Body Shop wow and then decided to open up their own business in Palm Springs cuz my grandfather heard that the actor had a week at home in Palm Springs he retired and cuz all the actors in the 60s did and so then they don’t strip club and this is so romantic as long as they’re still together and I want to have to imagine it was some sort of connection there is just like it a lot of them
a lot of the same persona but I’m talking about
honest businessman he is instrumental he couldn’t be more Italian is this little strip like a little like like like a little sounds like a horrible but he’s like so Italian and so like charming and like like like like and he was always at his partner Eric Wagner from Boston to say he’s got this Boston accent for 15 minutes you seen it twice kind of like he he he he he lowers the bar of, watch it buster
don’t hurt like when he finds out that she is romano was this like crap quickly chosen to witness protection program name that his I think his dad picked Saturday and he was a Lebanese arsonist
quintessential like like Boston Italian kid in the world series of my daddy got so drunk last all train of thought and I’m so sorry I’m so sorry
the witness relocation program and I wanted to ask why was there a middle eastern and the arson business advisor so happy because I guess he was just a guy you hired it was like a fire bug you know you just like you for insurance you just that there’s a guy that you actually get that specializes in setting the fires is the movie
because you were you were you’re in something at rolling at are you only acting in that what’s it called is it is it is it airing it comes out in November
20% very funny that they were rebranding as the just the word history I made it to the transgender Revolution without without
like a fucking Greek shark but but but degrees shark going through cones
country Apple acronym tattoo this evening however every time you want to make a joca bed within the show like The History Channel people are here Nan channel in the world in history
but but it was just come through it just kind of it was an edict that was that trickled down to my set so there was just always somebody that was like it was usually keep crying
but yeah I know but I could well whatever okay it’s the group of friends are kind of reuniting in the wake of one of their friend’s disappearance is right where she wants Millennials sort and then the girl from college she went to school that she didn’t know well at all goes missing and my character becomes obsessed with trying to find her so it’s like she’s not the right person for the job but she becomes obsessed with that so I described it as like I hit start Colombo kind of based on anything in reality or is it just us and Charles Rogers like have weird mysteries in our family but
that’s all. So they kind of like were inspired by that if something happens in our lives right now like to find somebody missing poster to do I guess what I just like wasn’t aware of it but then there’s like there’s so many posters were people are like I just like I’ve been kind of collecting them in a weird way to validate my career you just never stop you just noticing them everywhere
she’s like staring off into the distance like looking confused that’s like 90% of the show thank you and we assume if it’s at the end of it you’ll have the extra scene that you shot where where she goes like
how to make a view of solving them to traffic TV shows go on for like so fucking long so like I’m not going to be like I’d love to do it for the next time is this is just the old curmudgeon in me I was just like shaking my cane at you and going I go you’ll get a taste of ones that don’t last very long
what they don’t know two or three seasons forever too cuz my fucking shit gold
I love a new season of acceptable TV by the
I God damn fuck you. You did animals what did you do first season or second season show that one at starburns my Animation Studio it’s like it’s really touching go with these guys fill in Mike cuz I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I just I just ran by just do random now I just I just say I just hate the hate Mike and like half the time I I nail it
I mean the Jewish is that I thought it was I thought I would wait for you only have one show where this conversation doesn’t have them
where would that be in your lobe
someone do something dress differently that’s what I just crack your brain is battling for glucose the different the different sections of it when you’re developing so is catching a frisbee like like makes like your brain think this guy’s Jam is Frisbee and that’s going to lead to more of him in the DNA strand resources to the part of your brain that does early successes to trigger those nights telling the difference between two people who are mocking you
only makes it worse humanized at least I don’t know who you are I think it’s fun Ryan Gosling wants to hear
but I better very briefly but when I met him I was like Alia so nice to meet you Alia hard work and hard to remember we’ve learned on this show we one of our one of our very good friends Daniel Gillies is that tells the story we have to drag it out of him cuz he’s one of these like Jairo D Fancy Pants he’s like you said I got to go down there and help like like without and Noah would like a no designs on anybody knowing about it that you have to drag it out of him because he’s knows how it sounds for it but this is
story is the so he called Ryan Gosling his good friend and Ryan was like I’m already on my way
because he was
he’s the first one on the scene if you want to hear a wonderful performance and on the culture I think it’s time to bring out our San Diego Comic-Con correspondent Ryan Ridley
hello hello
hey Spencer
I say hi to Spencer three times a day
when does my cousin figure out
further before we get to that you enjoy your Comic-Con experience every year it’s great
I walked 16 miles on Saturday Friday Saturday Friday Friday 16th
that’s what it told me that’s good that’s all I know it’s a terrible my feet are like irons that are hot are hot like blisters blisters I have something I don’t know what are bunions or who knows what but they they manifest at Comic-Con boy I tell you what is it in either direction because of your somewhat famous webbed feet it does weird stuff sometimes that’s probably why my feet are webbed it’s all connected
only two toes of my feet are webbed
fish don’t have facial hair
that they do I feel like an idiot now. Make sure, Wyoming
I just ate something some fish have facial hair is it called the final girls which it’s a really fun movie that nobody saw it didn’t know how to promote it that movie is I know that guy he’s a great guy and Todd doing some kind of the film like doing midnight screenings and he did some at Comic-Con this year we had an ice cream truck called like ice cream for ice cream or something like that still and like Thomas was there at Angela trimbur it was something obviously it wasn’t what’s the name of the movie
and then I want you to perform the cheesy
I want you to sing
I didn’t think it’s about the these kids to go see a movie at the mean girl’s mom was in with the horror genre totally it’s really fun rum the subcontractor help with detail stuff is the Comptroller and I’ve sub for him occasionally you see it’s how we were at Comic-Con. Alia is that earlier guess who else I know
Brad Copeland and John Levenstein
who are The Writer’s sorry writer
call me Riders
I’ve never met a great writer I’ve never met which the will in the show the one the one in the show I’ve never met any of the actors but I know the Riders I want to take Forte intertwine

question man I’m freaking out alright it, County jail people in, you’re safe with me and I was I was imagining Will Sasso it was hilarious
that’s at what party was at Spencer that party that there’s hot dogs on a plate or some shit and you were yelling at people in the training room so every year Alia entertainment don’t Entertainment Weekly has a party at Comic-Con of the parties and it starts at 9 and then by 10 it’s filled to fire code and then you can’t get in that’s odd that was me just out of us out of this so I’m in the car. I’m in my head a lot is Comic-Con is weird I don’t know if I should feel more shame leche a more secure less insecure I don’t know which way the company should spin
the watches with compass something likes like psychological state of mind that I was invited to the hottest party at Comic-Con the Entertainment Weekly party and I’ll have you know that it was all I was talking about at work for the entire week lording it over everyone’s heads
on top of the fact that I found out that Dan and Justin we’re not invited, right on Rick and Morty I should clarify that to understand the relationship isn’t this hierarchy in this coveted invitation
I was told by haters
that it was my agencies
behind-the-scenes manipulations apparently that’s not true the answer I got was it’s cuz I’m cool told you that did you tell yourself you’re my agent did tell me that but
difference though what I thought if you’re if you’re going down the road of of it’s cool to be invited to a Hollywood party like what in trouble is we write objectively already in trouble but I mean you’re in trouble when you wake up in some material Universe something that I returned to the beams of light that we were originally before the Big Bang
which happened so that light could fit Bounce-Off day on Target Target
the I don’t know what happened what is the difference if your agency making manipulation by the Sea why does that make you less cool in terms of a Hollywood party I just cuz they’re haters cuz they’re haters they’re trying to detract from his ass cuz she knew I was at the track meet you Spencer like usual you get me Danza
explain something exactly exactly I’m running to talk to all of Comic-Con the intimate saw through a filter is like I don’t belong I shouldn’t be here really hate myself going on with example problem there’s what I cut co-workers and other writers have a staff of potential join the party
they’re always there any to what happened at the party you said you were stupid to Ted to take the bait I just called my agent said why am I not on the ew first I just found out Ryan fucking Ridley is all right so the first person who saw me walked in was Will Forte damn it Spencer Will Sasso for the store continue
I always said we see how is this even acceptable to talk about these people and what they’re doing behind the scenes of things he couldn’t get in or didn’t want to go in or if you could have came and then changed his mind at some point I don’t know what happened but he was like I’m out of here go another bar in this none I’m looking at that going to do I have to see how the party works and Will Forte in I’m sitting here thinking I’m on the list finally I’m going to list it was means nothing. What time are you getting there was like four times 30 time I asked if I like rough to get you on the list and then p.m. so there was one
optional a truly seem to be abiding by strict fire code in letting people in except the fucking Workaholics guys right past us like a goddamn how much rain is becoming real now I’m so jealous of them professional football player football player standing there I I didn’t recognize him certainly I guess he’s a big deal to let any of us in Workaholics two-thirds of them by the way she was missing I don’t know that the one in the Pitch Perfect movie I’m working on a whistle in the wave
the first time I ran into him at, it was like I had to find out retroactively after a guy talked to me for a half hour asking a bunch of weird question but New Zealand that they had convinced that guy that I was Peter Jackson
it was a really funny
there was a guy who kind of like I guess it’s a practical joke like like I don’t know I’ve never been to New Zealand and the other other guys like okay I’m very funny but like like when you’re shooting there like one of them and I was like whatever shoot when I was shooting there I don’t know I’m a writer
and I told me you were Peter Jackson like he was so they couldn’t have written it better like cracking up cuz they probably do that every 5 minutes and I like by their own self out there was a control bouncer guy that was going a little over the edge
no human being should be given that much power wait like there’s always checks and balances there was a 25 year old kid who for the first time in his life was like how he’s like telling people he might recognize from movies and stuff they can’t come in he was like told to hold the line and he lost his mind he was like he was like the guy that Tom Cruise has to kill in the basement in War of the Worlds like he’s a strategy to the point where he was my friend Dan snierson do I have to have my father’s I’d like to I know a guy from Entertainment Weekly hit stands near comes out because he anticipated
easy to get somebody in it didn’t he works there so he waves me forward so we have to walk past all the people that can’t get in and we stand there all the time like everything that was being said to him was go fuck yourself and your whole family and also and then whatever you were actually say I like he was just adding this like I said you’re going to be fine like no one is going to get in there and I would not have come up here if I go ahead and eat that just hit him like a drop of carbohydrates I guess just made his maybe he was just like showing TC and I like maybe I misinterpreted as a smile but you’re welcome
because eventually Dan snierson who is the dimension of the Millennia because it’s got this guy could just blow me off I have never talked to him
appointment when you invite people party say RSVP with a plus one and then you’ll be able to get in the party and suddenly now you can’t get at this level but there’s 9 more levels after that what the fuck out of gamma they playing I am doing this to me
I hear the story out of the artist I feel like is like the fucking bill in this right I’m a hero of the story I’m the hero this isn’t my world I don’t get invited to these parties I’m like oh I’m getting ready and I brought my best friend from girl from childhood years old celebrity California I’m giving him a time of his life he’s getting high with the way from the yacht he is with the the doctor Drew and Eazy-E giving them some stuff but this party I mean this guy that just advice on TV show the young actor who played Eazy-E I’m not an idiot yet
I was with dr. Drew College yet because they thought it was such as such as I really just want to ride at all but I just want to add that Danny McBride’s like like it came up to me and he’s a he’s a fan I don’t I don’t know if he’s a fan of the podcast or if it’s just just Rick and Morty I can’t now I can’t remember but he wanted something tells me it’s Rick and Morty
if you wanted to meet up I anybody know about that little bitty thing thank you he’s a he’s an unequivocal taste
like George. I was just praying to Rustic arterias Hollywood people so serious at this party would do if he just turned it into grooming himself a hero of the center of a cross the first threshold
navigate to the key scene find out Van Morrison
can get us into the next area which is just another place to wait to get into the party but a little bit nicer bringing us hot dogs and drinks this guy was like like like I would say that maybe it’s because of that we have like this Bond like because I use that interviews with me since then and said we kind of like we were kids chins in the industry together I got really going like there’s a fraternal Bond there maybe or maybe he’s just amazing
is it so fucked up his his party as he was missing it and he brought us hot dogs and he was taking drink orders and the party was so crowded and then what hotel is the Hard Rock Cafe I kept thinking like oh if you just flipped it like easily like that crowded hot area like if you if you just Johnny Depp was over here and you were told that this was like the Platinum area looks like a place where you can go like this happy thing at The Viper Room like like what if you put that table anywhere else
it was open or is it was just the six of us that were together and where the table by the way immediately open bar a spread-out Greg magical amazing wonderful fresh air and they’re bringing and hotdogs or laughing and we’re vaping we’re having a good time but I’m still thinking of what I want to get in there which looks miserable why did they do this to us about the about the search decided party role playing game because it was like there was a there was a thing that needed to be unlocked and I got like Minecraft or something like that you needed to make something to make something to make something and I quit I did get that’s the longest I’ve ever waited for anything and I liked it I was like I was kind of held together with the sort of quest aspect of it more minutes and then we’ll go and then maybe 5 more minutes after that too and then you cuz you just you don’t want to look like
talk so much shit to your co-workers for the past 7 days that you hate was killing every fiber of my being that night
how to get past the threshold and the party it’s around a pool and it’ll play the game of like all right is he now let’s have a little fun with the situation I knew where the losers technically in there are the winners in there any other side you know and if it gets hot dog so either has a room that had like a patio that went out to kind of our area but is also on the other side of it was the real party and it was a private room the super and I didn’t see who was in it I grab the hot dog and I went up to that and leaned over to go hot dogs know and they’re kind of like not looking at me bass be acting like you got dragged right now if there is a bulletproof place like the plastic off later they’re going to pay us late date whoever was in there definitely heard me screaming to pay off later
yelling at the Hollywood elite Jeff they’re so remember that detail so then we get finally let Into The Grand Event Center you’re partying around the pool and butt in the pool because what you going to do when you going to put in the pool like there’s water in it but what do you do to get in the pool is like is a bunch of the what do you call him Lifesavers that is that what you call an inner tube
smaller inner tube and also a bunch of young people like there were hired like models there were just like water headlight like hanging out of the floaties and it was like and everyone was just like kind of staring at him like like like we were all no matter how famous you were if you were out of the pool because they were in the pool we’re better than that you are all yeah but simultaneously or would you still like it was like that like the white-haired guy that shows up the party in Boogie Nights that ends up like having to have the coke girl like like you’re looking guy with the crazy hair that I just looks like
Destiny 2 with Jackie Gleason Jeff the Killer like that because we’re like whatever and I’ll tell you it like I was kind of got into the pool that would be the weird thing I was just like freaking out there are humans being used as art
I hope they going to ruin everything I try to do something there
there’s a lot of talk about me going in the pool in my own head and I was like trying to weigh
wow sure I pay the guy black and white fuck the passage and everybody will talk about me you know my name I hate the Hollywood Elites I hate them towards the capacity of the fire I don’t know quickly there fire proof cuz they were winning but then got all that time they were there I think they were like shifting there was a little bit of a rotation there
weird like kind of food that was stepping weird if it makes you feel
get the luxury of feeling like Hunter as Tom said like that’s a favor they’re doing you like I was like oh that this party is crazy like I feel like if it was it would be disappointed you know there wasn’t like some weird fucking your eyes at David Cross has that has that has that extended hit about like when did it with deserts have like gold leaf on though and it’s just like fuck you. I can’t even just this
I’m just going to get it out of my ass hole after you serve it to me it’s gold carpet stuff like you’re running and I’m not unlikely to an otherwise identical ticket is that I had into an empty Warehouse where nothing happens except farts but if I’m going then I want the VIP ticket to the house so the
sing for me the deal-breaker was I wasn’t like offended by any of it I wasn’t like I was just like high and like kind of going this is funny like like it’s like the first scene of someone’s biopic is going to be coming down a meeting someone in the corner or like like like like like panning shot was this there was this one kid is dude he kept there was music playing and he was like he kept like rapping he was like like if it was a hip hop he would like he was like he was like along with the
music and I was really tired to just swim in the piano was throwing me because he was sending this direct Visual and audio signal play toys all happening to all of us at the same time it was like stop it you’re supposed to be like what you’re supposed to look like it would be like if a burger grew legs don’t you and you be like no I like discs of meat is one cool person that was showboating you’re saying is that with the Justice was okay
what was the actual just audio visual stimulus of him him him like instead of just floating aimlessly in the pool which I thought was like oh it’s like future Arts like handsome people in the pool like like like yeah you’re sexy like like like like like be our pool like like like like like like it’s a cauldron
if you’re not going to call you or going to stir them a little bit like ice cream
there’s one guy he’s got a what what do you what do you think the explanation was you think that it was they all lined up before they got in the pool and then their boss said our listen to breaks her every 15 minutes and also don’t just zone out scared that I’d kind of float around don’t talk and it was the opposite of the celebrities with them and have fun make
Joe and they’re all idiots are not doing it
I could easily be that the rest of them are like Fuck this I’m going dead inside or we want such specific things but like think about it he was like you is doing the same thing and so the list was like don’t make eye contact was like a really specific listed likes things that humans aren’t should do at a party as I never heard of using humans understand like having a very meticulous list of specific here like where it where every 5 Seconds you all go
I want you all to coordinate emotionally I want you all to feel washed out doing something not natural but you like a screensaver okay they’re going to the beach. Don’t make sense because he was showing Humanity
as opposed to being at a party where humans are aren’t exactly that’s okay, I know it when I see one and this guy came by and he was the only one of the people start going we’re not worthy
I’m at pool guy I kind of the pool in their pictures with people it was toward the end of the party and it was like people charging onto the field that they’re like a soccer game or something like I think they’re like a all right
I think it’s time for me to bring back a plot Point our story which one first level of purgatory and then the second level in the hot dogs, you finally get into what you think is the promised land and you wander around and you’re like more Game of Thrones orders and you know you’re just rubbing up against you don’t care and they’re the guys from Arrow and this and it’s like a living Wax Museum and I all I’m doing with my buddy who’s never even met a celebrity’s just like I got that person that person and I walk up to this one goddamn room and I’m like well I’m in I worked hard for this I’m going everywhere I’m going to use the whole Buffalo this party and I walked up to this fucking room
and I look in this room and there’s two giant dude saying about they could have been just regular guys I can’t quite tell her I’m going polo shirts
I look past them and I see James Cameron Elite that this side bitch fucking concentric Circle Abilene is just one now we’re all the Hollywood Elite fuck everybody else in the room or floated before he can have a conference
I am so busy I don’t know if that when there’s a width on a wave and the pool guy got up and went into the
how much for a bathtub
you enjoyed rubbing himself in and Blood Part 3
Junior new IMAX or are we going directions to make make make make make I got to go she can barely speak but he’s James Cameron
what are you going to do by the way if you haven’t guessed already that was the room that I yelled about the hot dogs into where I was at one point Spencer Grammer who is Summer on Rick and Morty her husband get this he’s an Irish firefighter really good-looking yeah yeah you didn’t picture like I was trying to understand but after a while he’s like you’re right I cuz I was I was like sure Irish fires are harder to fight
play Electronic house is on fire the fire is just a couple degrees hotter and harder to put out right I was praising your no more political correctness I thought you were going to the British and Irish guy fell on the notice the wrong things all the time what would you
speaking of which I want to I want to play this recording before I forget this is this is this is my girlfriend Cody as translate I just can’t get in and you have a song stuck in your head like they say if you if you make other people had like that’s like that’s how you get rid of it but I just I just have heard her childhood voices stuck in my head cuz she’s she’s in the bathtub at her dad’s trying to get her to get out but she’s trying to get her dad to eat soap lather but she’s handing him a plate of childhood video that you I forgot that detail this is she home movie of hers
I know that model of camcorder videos
let me when you going to do I’m emotionally I’m a very low IQ emotionally so that. That means that I have
that means I can date I can date younger people cuz I work very hard and I haven’t matured
Tango is 12 years old and his girlfriend
how do you do it
all right it I already fucked up I I scrubbed the thing and now Cody get up here telling her dad to eat the the soap suds
she says she’s 27 times I said I said she needs to get out of the tub I ate it and she peed so now she has to clean up she’s saying that you can’t see anything there’s no p.m. camera but she’s like pushing something she’s going to have to just wants to stay in the tub so she invents emergency
tell Roberta I just been hearing that get stuck in your head
everytime I eat I really thought I just here like
it’s it’s Dan with someone who has sorry that was cute and all but I’m sure I had to like yo become like pretty well-balanced like or your alternative was to end up like knocking over liquor stores in like like whatever to get my high like I do long ago you had to deal with some threshold for you’re like the only hope for survival psychologically is to know that all the stuff is horseshit so it’s a it’s a bad thing it’s bad that this would be your episode we’re not talking about rock climbing this episode we’re talking about it which I also do I can do 11 if anyone knows top roping I can get as high as 11 a.m.
that’s like maybe like pulling 200 so I don’t want to talk about rock climbing over the Rock Island Nobody Knows by rock climbing in this room I’m in the wrong room but I’ll continue to find you the right route
I just came to me I was like that’s wrong then also social climbing at the Hollywood parties just want to make sure everybody got it
can I tell story this is my number if you don’t know the babies
did someone say no and you know they did I can’t wait I cannot wait you just it’s your insecurity is not their problem
do what I think it’s probably one of those one of the pipe it up too much don’t open up too much we don’t really hang out a mess I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so aggressive before I left, Jerry I can’t do the voice
I’mma tell you I learned something
I’ve known as Jeopardy 12 years ago Dan for 12 years I’ve worked with Dan but probably 50000 million hours on a few different things are really slow I don’t sponsor for about a year-and-a-half two years this guy fucking gets me through more than you do we get three more than you do if that’s not your fault I work with him here to get me something here at the moment sometimes you get me and his friend here who is this guy because I’m like light gray and he’s like just a slightly striped darker Shade of Grey like I could be him on a bad day or something and have a good day or a bad day or I could be him if I was having a bad day
continue what happened at the party I’m going to visit everything I’ve said this whole dick I’m doing it’s all to hoist myself up and the ultimate petard okay and you’re all like most of the audience doesn’t like me believe me the no girl was just afraid one doesn’t bother me I know I’ve got two people
what he’s talking about it you’re like in the Spencer Camp let’s your some clamps
thank you
please clap
so we all we all loved meeting your Game of Thrones as you with all of meeting your your ew senior will Forte’s and what not but I am about to tell you a story that is going to high road everybody on the stage and in this room you’re a hydration bladder goes up so high that the thing you show up
are you going to get to see that it says that you just know it happened up there like someone radio down
the guy who died because I was wondering
there’s a cup of water there’s a duffel bag
if you guys don’t give me the right answer to the question what to ask you if she says I am going to change you also just be prepared to take it is not going to be a hero and you whoever does not know the answer my question is are going to be the villain in all right and I wanted to get something signed by Brooke Libras he’s not the person that I want you to care about you. I was getting the Colorado River nevermind
I go to for I go I say I’m going to go to Berkeley bread to get something signed create Oakland County’s big inspiration to me at 3 I walked to the IDW Booth where he was getting something out signing things around the corner. Sitting there
representative John Lewis
I didn’t know who this was me I don’t know who is he
Civil Rights Movement Luther King Junior I feel like
I felt that backfired I really thought that I could shame you guys for not knowing but you guys are celebrating the fact you don’t know who this is
open the only way that would I know that
when you can see pictures of him marching with Martin Luther King jr. he was portrayed in the movie Selma ever heard of it
okay where was I going with this I have a point why you were about to do the face of remember a little something called the Democrats trying to get the gun rights to pass a couple weeks ago and the sit-in and they all night thing he was the face of that you wanted to talk about the party did you guys like to have a drink together or you just you just saw him in this story this is an interview at a Lime-A-Rita my own pace. And do you guys have any questions about like what the police look like or like what I was wearing now

but it is something I was in my head
I actually did something I said the only thing that matters is this guy actually did something at the title for the episode I think about that title for the episode hands Wine Guy cousins of these people wouldn’t let us in anywhere says I’m sorry the lines cut off no more people
John Lewis I want to shake the hand of History ifucking got high with fucking the wave last night I want to do the opposite
on a balance the scale ugly so I can I can I please meet Mr Lewis and you guys going to cut off no exceptions and I go to do it I got to do it I go do you know the show Rick and Morty is the I saw your badge I know which was pretty cool pretty cool that he says he continues to say the line is closed go on and I think the fox say what he wasn’t going to let me in right this story is going to get more twist coming so sounds like he’s getting nervous you just do as he pleases
let’s have been balance the scale may not always keep his eye toward his dreams
Stephen Hawking not a currency I could use to meet John Lewis oh yeah.
the Cliffhanger the new TV commercial what could happen next will have to find out I hope that will Ryan was waiting in the exhibit hall he was wearing comfortable underwear if you go to the convention hall less than the most comfortable underwear in the world you or lady or any part of the Continuum on which we exist gender-wise whew that was close
is slippery shark Domino’s also has a new show on History I guess Dan Harmon I end up in a lot of sticky situations
my underwear is anything but
it stays smooth like I should
when I run my hand across my fanny if you’re listening really United Kingdom that means but I think it needs vagina until I’m telling the British people sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
it’s a I want to explain something to you that you may not have known like we’ve been living in a marginalized I’m not saying it’s the Matrix like like like we don’t know what’s a simulation of what is it but we do know that was it relative to this reality we are being marginalized point if you drink 7Up every time you experience anxiety and it makes you feel better if you’re near ology is going to and as time goes on it gets more and more complicated it becomes a point when you don’t know if what you’re doing is what you want to do or if what you need to do you won’t even be able to tell the difference is for those of you who have ever known someone with an addiction like you don’t know whether you want to do something or whether it you think you want to do something my point being
what was why did I go down that road.
Oh my God if it’s possible to have a fucked-up weird relationship with video games or alcohol or a or a certain restaurant is that you’re not being told have been baked into your neurology by a generation that was already raised in our defense that was here well before you got here and was in charge of everything you ever saw or heard you can imagine the possibilities are for that it is possible for you to live on a limited point of existence with absolutely no consciousness of what you could be after me undies
wow the underwear company that stood back and said what is underwear like the way it feels that no longer work there that said what’s it matter bro bro don’t fix it bro Amanda’s check those people and they just put them in the airlock and the end as their silent screams fell on no ears but their own they were flushed into space their body succumb to the vacuum that’s it for you just in time and they were dealt with the wig God deals with with with Swiss Swiss Swift
and then and then the only people left where people that live within a world where underwear can be more comfortable than you thought possible because I guess where from
cam Farrell audio do you get 20% off your First Parish prison alien planet of the stupid people who doesn’t bother me cuz you’re a jerk
that’s all. I happen to know where Manny’s as well and I’m not uncomfortable talking about their quality I don’t have to put my tongue in my cheek because I’m not comfortable feeling I’m more than me and let me finish their incredibly comfortable fabric look it up Moto I’m so sorry no. Are there in the audience
I think a lot of these people jumping into God’s mouth yeah it feels like they were
pirate chest never runs out of chest
so you finally make it into the last level of the last time was the last thing I had 95% of my underwears me Annie’s cuz I would like to get the shit out of the way fucking hands and I get this bullshit I went to full 95% every now and then there’s laundry that I happen to not happen it I happen to not be wearing the unease right now I’m wearing Calvin Klein let me finish
I wear me and he’s on nights want to know there’s going to be an action I can’t finish finish it goddamnit sex party finish tonight we know that tonight is not one of those lines tonight because I wear the five percent yes. Not other regions like like it like it like it like it’s like it’s like like like you’re not out of podcast because I don’t want to create an ad campaign where people are like underwear or not you don’t like like like
when you just want to feel like you’re fucking your underwear this is about this is about your fine with that their ad campaign absolutely fine with that Comfort like you got like oh I’m going to wear these shoes cuz they make my ass look good but that’s not what I wear when I’m hanging out in the Sunday I’m staying where you’re about you no talk about how fuckable they are I would like to talk about how they’re good for hanging out and and itching your butt just hanging out so yeah when you itch your butt in meundies it’s like a doctor put on those clean sterile gloves and it is in his is itching your butt for you
because it’s like a smooth ridgeless finger read this I went and got a testicular exam and I and one while the doctor was like like like like fooling around I are not fooling around he was he was I was fooling around he was hard at work
I authorized I rubbed my nipple with my son
it was really weird cuz I don’t I wasn’t turned on that I know of but I was way too excitement for cancer in my girlfriend when we were in Canada she didn’t have you ever have you if you got out there tell me if I’m trying but have you ever done a saying where did you ever want to aim a man’s weiner dog while he’s being linked to a man around committed relationship opportunity to
did you do your work with your touching your nipple when I did that at and I thought you was lying. Why would I do that it wasn’t really a sexual thing. Like naturally like put your hand up I know and I think I’m all over this thing
I’m sure he’s about as why is this happening like not not no way either is fine
but anyways meundies are comfortable and
we love Mandy has left our Intrepid Hero he was trying to get John Lewis the Civil Rights activist autograph but he couldn’t and he couldn’t even get it by lording over the fact that he was worked on the amazing show Rick and Morty
thank you
so as he was walking away he gets a tap when I should I get a tap my shoulder Ryan come here okay Mr Lewis get one more Guy voice this is the guy who controls the line the guy you know the gatekeeper I think he trust me
he’s like I feel bad for that guy’s clearly got some fucking problems so he goes come here come here takes me over to John Lewis look in the eye shake his hand thank you so much just trying to make the world a better place didn’t really say that I did punch up as a line but he said something like that I swear I was the absence of that it was protecting his guy that was amazing I walked away I’m being sincere when I mean that was amazing I was buzzing inside if I’m great I buy shook the hand of a man who shook the hand of Martin Luther King jr. marched in and installing all that stuff right, right
so I think that guy he helped me out he did me a favor you knew I was from that you saw my name and you must know what show so I go and we do a signing and I say to Justin can you write on this card that were signing for her but it’s a picture from the show can you just write
thank you for letting Ryan meet John Lewis just adorable and right
well yeah I think it’s Alia
Nicaragua by that
so I get the card signed by Justin
fight my way back to the madness that is the convention floor takes me 40 minutes to get from whatever one of the other green letters
pride is just a pie symbol is cascading like a waterfall
I ripped that so highly crafted the number 14 Royal Inn and why do I have to throw my bosses all the time so I go to the convention floor and I find if I go back to the booth right and I don’t see this guy now I know what he looks like I know exactly what he looks like
he’s at the Hollywood Elites and just come and go Flights of Fancy always the next time I partied a fucking working your graphic novel about the most of it that’s what I got time is it I got a signed copy but I like biographies of like Freud and stuff but I’ve looked at the other comic book Fargo on Philip Glass anyway the point is I go to the pool and I can’t see the guy but I know what he looks like right when I want to give this move on I got to do so
I can see him when I go hey so and explain the whole story this guy I don’t know what his name is but you hook me up with John Lewis’s signature and like I think you like the show work on I got them listen so I don’t I don’t know who he is but
he’s a bigger guy with glasses
and she looks me in the eye and she goes I don’t know you’re talking about ago
he’s a kind of glasses little bit bigger you mean Joel the shorter guy
was this guy black know I did know his name I’m going to go to the car maybe Joel but he’s the shorter guy I don’t even know what’s going on here with this woman what she’s doing she shaming me because I described him as a bigger guy you know right now and Sheet which is is scripture of this guy cuz we don’t know if he’s 90 tall or not
are you going to many feet tall. I don’t know why he was physically bigger I don’t know what else to say your glasses and he was there was there was no other characteristics that was he was a white guy with glasses and was kind of better I don’t know what else to say
how many number working at this booth but she looked at me because you mean the shorter guy the shorter guy I’m like oh sorry so it’s okay to call him to the shorter guy that’s the correct Dimension to focus on I’m just trying to help me find
but I can’t write in my head like but I really think that you’re right I believe that you what you the peace that you’re missing is that she is actually she knows 6 people and she said now she was diplomatic issue Dan do you not think I know when people don’t like me
she was looking me in the eye and saying what you mean the shorter one trust me she was actually like that I’m just delusional Maniac up Tarantino and Dusk Till Dawn by Juliette Lewis and eat my pussy and that’s not really what you said you said something else yes she was shaming me
oh no
your head and she’s like showing you pictures like this guy this guy like she thinks I’m crazy LOL alright three guys and one was tall and skinny and one was short and fat and one was tall and bigger all around trying to without the bigger one that’s what that’s all I’m saying but you’re so I think I will I will believe you if you simply tell me cuz you just keep saying she’s saying the shorter one but when I want to hear from you is you saying it wasn’t her words it was very clear from her face
very clear
how dare you speak that language or Hi-Fi from any of you because you’re still like what the fuck is this guy
I just trying to trick of it though and we have them like Placid like I christened The Arc of the story we’ve all forgotten is I made a civil rights hero I decided through the guy a favor who hook me up with that I ran across that but I mean if you’re looking for a big old fat and they were both five foot two shorter one
could you let that stop you know course not like I’m not going to let any of this. Me telling the story. The Story So finally she says you mean the shorter one I just got ya the fucking shorter when she goes that’s a Joel he’s right over there I might add that big fucking fat butt
that goddamn goddamn Pig thank you for let me know it’s I’ve been riding really good night be interesting Spectre me whatever you describe yourself kind of liking me not liking me all that shit but they always talk about yourself and he was like you know if you like bread
I live within hierarchy I know how to write a resume on your scribe him he was very nice he wasn’t what I was saying that I just I’m saying that cuz I’m repeating with Dan is always saying in the writers room and you know I’m just like spouting it off you know I learned from watching you you know so I’m very sorry that everybody in their eyes are watching you received it well it was very nice you know he was a little weird but do you want me to say
I don’t want to say he was fat
Alia Alia
how many comes in threes when there’s a vowel that can be pronounced three ways just TBS looking God damn it I already forgot the fucking cock fucking shit party so I can remember
yeah yeah I know valuable any more easily over now Spike of of eye because it was like holy shit in the end everything happening so quickly but it is rising and falling with in one breath was almost like it was a symptom of that level of of high tennis itself like my therapist and you’re up you’re at you’re up at that setting it’s like that was the only environment in which this Pokemon thing could have like because it was because we wanted a distraction or it’s because we were just too fucking to up articles a day
I meant a crescendo
more gym that it will ever be
guys getting blue
yellow
green really remember you will have to fight you would like to hear about the story about every 20 minutes go over. Like it was like I like it was a quarter of all oppressed for it and usually it’s only going to have a little more of a bell curve like okay there’s money here than just like
play The Total Money for two days here and look for the President Trump trump says he hasn’t played Pokemon yet that was the article it would Mark the fucking the steer head of that stalagmite shot up through the roof of the cave in to God. I haven’t played Pokemon yet New York I’m not one of these this isn’t news people like that all the time because your dumb is why why is the comment section your blog because you’re stupid that’s why this is news you fucking parasite like that you need an account to say why is this news
something about hats with wheat paste a bottle or something I could make a gas mask out of the shower I just stole it has been has been piloting me like like in the 80s or that there was that monkey that could drive a car and it was that the trainer was driving it while laying down
poke Pokemon of the last paragraph of the of the article I mean cuz really why is this news cuz the truth is if you just put cell phones in place of any of those articles that’s all it was cuz it was just like woman gets carjacked while playing Pokemon like she was using her cell phone like yes she was probably was playing Pokemon but it’s like it’s like it’s just Ubiquiti that’s right what was it like like you’re clicking on these articles are going like oh Pokemon is so important and so I do look cause of people killing themselves before he was physically make you look for things are actually walking around
can you please not you know because I didn’t have any problem
this isn’t the Holocaust Museum that loves helicopter
Harry Holocaust like there’s t-shirt. Like I said I know I know it was a fake quote it had to be a fake quote because the last paragraph Was it’s not like we came here to play the game
I was over the age of 37 cuz it just sounds like a fake I thought it was the last week she goes to continuing her quote it’s not like we came here to play the game says they need something 37 who withheld her last name but gotta catch em all
come on so fake all of these headlines are all these articles about Pokemon go coming out as fake to Walmart for like AIDS testing they already have a Pokemon like we’re going to catch him about STDs and I weren’t together as I can feel we keep that weight and here I thought you were like oh my god there must be like 70 Pokemon for a while ready to make up a hoverboard is like guys like maybe I should live in at the ginger but I think it’s around either either he’s into it or not but
patching small red light on the hoverboard watching his wife fucking other guy they got it sold in the hoverboards in just kind of like going like he’s like a reeling around the room you have to find this Fairview already talked about this cuz this guy is like a master like you watch a man can a scene from the lowest because he’s running the predictable
he loves being naked on a hoverboard watching me fuck his wife like I am not just a bigger man here
unmistakable that his every every every every figurative cock that’s worse than anything is a two-wheeled and I am left with only this absolutely vestigial redundant meet tube which happens to be cosmetically larger diameter butt is absolutely powerless in every way this is like I don’t need just a vagina how do you play that high-status you don’t but if you play it if you love licking those balls and you don’t give a fuck about human life like I just seems like he’s like he he he just seems
he seems like it seems like he’s like he’s like little finger like a Game of Thrones reference he’s like he’s like he’s like he knows exactly how are you on this guy’s balls that he likes he likes shares with his wife ever
and it’s like you just feel his gaze go through the back of her head and she said she just finished telling him to look another guy’s balls so that she could pay for his hoverboard but she’s just fun saying yeah what’s he said he’s he couldn’t pay for the hoverboard that’s it it’s a tee up for a cuckold porn hood comes in and goes like yeah he loves this hoverboard and please stay
did we lose the other cuz I’m getting a little turned on
Calvin Klein undies
does summer vodka run
there’s no more vodka but now you feel like a real asshole
yeah that’s how it is
the bed is not going to be there to get cut off the bed is not going to be that goes up like that Ryan
you’re going to like this story dinosaur attacks
did I say something like this is going to fucking kill men there’s Silence of my I knew that I had and I’m horrible if it shows that it is to know what time do the story of the Furious song
A Game of Thrones and then dinner never has gone like a damn stripper I guess everybody
this is ridiculous don’t be a hater are nipping at your heels, guess comptroller don’t think I was a personal relationship that Diane and everything a guy and I’m a dyed-in-the-wool Baratheon OK Google
very good very good
I mean I’m killing over here we’re going to end of the show five times a week so he got closer and we are giving you this crazy man so who would I be in Game of Thrones even little finger
they are not
everybody everybody
whatever you want and then take us to a search party on TBS

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