Episode: 267 – We Killed Charles Manson

Episode

Episode: 267 – We Killed Charles Manson

Description

Guest Comptroller Brandon Johnson and actor Rob Huebel return to the show. Rob gives us the inside information about his new show, while Brandon introduces us to Tiny Brandon. Dan’s worried he might have played a role in Charles Manson’s death. Featuri…

Transcript

ladies and gentlemen around the world wherever you may be get ready for harmontown what’s the better of harmontown Google who is Dan Harmon
beats beats rap rapping beats beaten to the rap the rapper can’t be beat Dan Harmon on the microphone slip in your mama’s my Harman bone it’s a tiny penis but it gets the job done it’s not the way you use it’s whether you have fun and whether she does too and if you have her consents and whether you do it in a sleeping bag or 10th I took your mama camping up at Algonquin Falls it’s a place outside of shopping malls not be attacked if we took refuge in the building I thought your mom was so hard I was building her pussy my penis is gold a place your pussy as I’m told it’s a chemical process of electroplating I fuck it fuck your mama when I’m masturbating
yo yo yo
2006 motherfuckers
yeah I saw I saw a pumpkin once I saw that paper had on a dunce a paper cone you wear it like a hat
you punish kids like that you make them wear a cone made out of paper
slight on Draper did 1961 what’s your mama’s so hot
I made her come
game all night
she saw the light the coming light the orgasm light the Christian Light a camera what’s right put her on the cross sucked on her feet
poker with a spear to make sure she was
Dad that’s fucked up after 3 days she woke up she came back out she said give me more dick cuz what’s up I took her down to the part
at dark until it was no longer dark the sun come up on me fucking your mom
you took a pompom she did a splits in the air she said Rara parade chair and I said table she said Furniture I said table we were free associating but your mama’s so hard I was electroplating to her with the aforementioned sister fuck your mom up but listen
she liked it and afterwards we went biking cardiovascular
it was spectacular still raise your heart rate
don’t even masturbate nofap sap no not for me so I can your mom has the only activity I want to be doing come in inside it’s an organic process makes your orgasms more wide with filling the bandwidth of your pleasure
but your mama at meleger it’s a it’s a job though I get it done like Larry cable guy I’m number one
Apartments how is the show that’s beginning harmontown it’s not the show that’s losing its for sure that’s where there’s no audience allowed in the warehouse because the the man came down and shut it down
Debra Messing
Debra Messing around harmontown it’s about to go down and then it comes up
shut up and Deborah message thank you Deborah Messing for for for having that name
all right well yeah I thought I thought if we started with a wrap that may be the energy would be up more I forgot yeah I forgot about this I feel like people are definitely dropping their heads
well
yeah so I was shaving I was trimming that was trying to trim my beard to go to this thing I had to do this Rose Marie
documentary qna
with Dick Van Dyke as like I’m going to be sitting next to Dick Van Dyke is very handsome
guy respect I try to trim a little bit and then I nicked I disconnected right where the mustache Petes the beard and I let outside I better do that in the other side the ventriloquist dummy or economic Japanese assassin an Amish Amish ninja Fusion I don’t know what I did was able to look really distinctive look really specific and I was going to distract me all night so they just shave the whole beard rather than look like a shity Auctioneer yeah so now I look great how do you feel cuz you you look younger yeah but what’s the point of being younger if you’re young tub of shit you look like a young fucking sad pimply seal
but I would have but I was better not a sad pimply seal a day over 5 which is 50 and sealed years how was it
it was interesting I really like that documentary I really recommend to the lot it has the unintended effect of making you kind of comfortable with mortality Rosemarie is 95 years old 94 Hoshi kind of like she’s she’s almost literally born entertaining she’s like 4 years old and she’s like singing and and then she’s 94 at the end of the documentary and she’s she’s saying like why am I left what am I work for me like I can come in my wheelchair and like she’s dead she’s just like a little and it was like anybody want me to do something I’ll do something and I I like yeah there’s that or then there’s the Jim Carrey methods like I watch that documentary where Jim Carrey talks about being Andy Kaufman and
and his whole thing is like you know none of this matters and you know he had to let you know he’s like oh that’s not a coffee cup Hood so you know I’m not about to drink out of it now I did like he had to if you’re Jim Carrey you probably have to you can’t just be like I’ll do anything so then you have to be like okay how do I feel about having a trillion dollars yeah yeah being broke he started out so poor and Canadian what is the nationalities
so even a rich Canadian is like a fucking
party starting at 08 Apollo Drive but Canadians to don’t care. They’re too nice out there they’re apologizing to me to be shouted out if it’s pouring so you were inside a lot I take it when you weren’t going out cuz that means you watched a lot of documentaries do you do you go outside a lot. You do yeah yeah for the people are yeah yeah yeah I like to watch the people who see how can you keep an eye on all of them aren’t you know that one of them is going to kill you right yeah I keep an eye on especially the only way to guarantee you don’t die by person is to stay away from all of them and they are the number one killer of people right now
you go down so I know not to go to certain concerts in certain places I would you have known to avoid the I think you would have considered the
Don McLean go up to like an eagle’s reunions I’m not going to any sort of like what do you mean you can’t tell are you magical are you like a c w hero are you do you have
I need a mentalist or are you saying you have a system tell us I live I live right beneath the Greek I’ve lived there for like 15 years as you do as well and you try to get an idea of who’s at the concert and what the show is going to be by like who’s marching up the hill
so yeah there is there a concert you buy a ticket to and then as you were walking up to the Greek Theater you’d like stop and turn around cuz he didn’t hear like it has a lot of Juggalos here fish lose their leaves
chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga
give me a beat
what’s it all about
yo going to concerts
Yelp
what’s all about
Jessica
no verse just hook tonight
I guess tonight it is is is Rob huebel
you can sit over there it’s probably better
hello everybody
it’s not theirs we got shut down by the fire marshal but they still live streamers
do you want to hear my subscriber rap do that you’re opening rap
you’re really good at that I’m not going to let that make this rap worse hit it
yo-yo subscribers imbibers philosophers Yelp $5 a month getting this shit on G-funk help us out financially
if I was a subscriber I’ll be like Minnie Driver British but take the accent fuck your mama an accident Yelp I put my dick in there pussy said whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops to Tipperary I’m not an old-timey singer
Yelp drivers Mini drivers
the traffic in the driver seat $5 a month to $5 a month bring us bring the funk I’m a subscriber thank you Fred my name is Janet, subscriber thank you Janet I see Tony I see Sharonda I see Peter Fonda a lot of people don’t know he subscribes remember in that movie where he drives a motorcycle with Dennis Hopper I put your mom up from the bottom of the topper about your titties first then her feet then I did it backward to the beach since she didn’t know what to expect
just hurting
John hurt. Hurt was a robot that aliens but your mama’s so hard she was a praline
Prince dumb you don’t have to cut it and everything
that that was intense
there’s a recurring theme of them just picking up on a recurring theme about
you fucking our moms but yeah it’s kind of a it’s been identified as a sort of crutch or tick it’s hard to get around
but it is only touches on it briefly then it goes away and then it comes back new drills down really hard on that and it goes away again yeah but if I were like
working out at the gym
I could take that song
I put that song on the playlist
it motivates you yeah right you want to be lean for now who made that who made these beats
parallel number for Paramount apparel L is it to fix yourself a little cocktail thank you and I’ll tell you what I’ll make you a special wrap just for your workouts give me a beat
yo Rob huebel workout rap
yo warm up stretch don’t forget to stretch yo stretch your feet stretch your size dress your abdomen
I’m fucking your mama again what night stretch your quads what your glutes fuck your mama with my dick flute misses you coming to school tonight workout tape workout rap doing it right back your head fuck your eyes Buccaneers stretch your mouth Mrs hubel has no fear I don’t like how I’m going to squash your fears
exposure therapy if she was scared of spiders slowly get her used to spiders but she’s just scared of my dick scared of my dick so I’ll give it a lick I lick my own jacket shower it’s easy
how to make your dick
then I get between her knees
mrs. Huber please can I fuck you till the break break a dawn to the early light
mrs. hubal I might like to fuck you some more on all fours doggystyle they call it but I don’t like that language
cuz you’re a woman to me a human first a Partner II a woman third
dog fourth all right
pick it up
don’t forget that to cool down
cool down now do the good work out well a traps workout rap is a masterpiece
what is Mama in the east in the ER went to Pittsburgh eastern Seaboard fucked his mama’s so hard she blew out an E chord they call it a ligature
did I fuck Rob huebel mom sure but then I married her after
and I gave her some Jews from aftra and sag and BMI don’t go asking me why because the ass is there and it needs something on it what’s Rob huebel is mom’s ass without a bonnet
she comes at you backwards looks like a cyclops baby
all right yeah don’t forget walk it off and hydrate that was the most upsetting thing thankfully my mom is not a subscriber and will not see that was any of that true
the exposure therapy part C realistic to me yeah research she does worry about it I can confer on her ass yeah on her ass app to put on it on her ass yeah that was good I got so excited about the Bonnet on it that I fucked up you realize you do this fuck up your shit I’m so winded all the speed sensor but I really am out of shape I haven’t worked out in a long time do you guys have any phobias that are genuine phobias like and I would say the definition is you’re not just being scared of something a lot or more than other people but like
phobia is a fear that would interfere with your ability to function in a situation like if you’re unable to go out on the balcony yeah
I don’t know that I have a phobia by definition I’ve had a couple of freaked out that I didn’t win I didn’t know I had this sort of said it like one time we were shooting something tonight I had to wear a space suit for this sketch that we were doing and I put on a and they got it for some reason they got a real space from NASA like a legit space suit with a helmet and everything and I put the helmet on and it screws onto the neck thing and all the sudden I couldn’t get it off and nobody could get it off and I had a fucking freak out panic attack like I was like get it off to the visor was closed and so it was like fogging up and he instantly felt like all I’m just going to run out of air and I would have been fine
if I just relax but so I had to Major freak-out that’s not a phobia do I guess I’m scared of space suits when I was a kid and we would play hide and go seek and stuff for the neighborhood flashlight tag I would I was like my strategy was I would find the the creepiest darkest tightest fucking place where any human being would never even look because it’d be like why would a person even fit in there or go in there and then I would just hang out in there until the game was over and come out Victorious but like and then at some point I wonder if puberty does it or if it’s did I bring it up because another thing I used to do is just let bugs and shit crawl all over me but I think I know what happened there is like I’m so fascinated with bugs and spiders and stuff that my aunt gave me a for a Christmas gift a big time
wife book of big full color hardcover book full of the most poisonous spiders in the world like this crazy like close up photography and like all these statistics about how fast they can crawl up your arm and go in your ear and stuff in like I think the book freaked me out maybe start thinking of spiders is I think maybe I don’t know that you currently claustrophobic and terrified of spiders yes we had a really funny prank we were going to do I wonder about that you know it when it comes to being afraid of being locked in a coffin and buried alive that’s not a phobia that’s just it I think everybody yeah yeah you should be afraid about you yeah if you were if you were into it I’ve done that yet again that’s not really a phobia guess but one time
I found like a shoot a lot of things but we were doing some pilot that didn’t get picked up and I was supposed to be dead and but they’re shipping my body back home or something so I was in a coffin and just for this one scene but it was filled with coffee beans so they covered me in coffee beans cuz they were like smuggling my body of the country or some like that so I had to lay in this coffin is they buried me and coffee beans like over my face and then they shut the coffin and I will say that was not cool but he says he was pretty freaky unless you get buried alive on accident what do you mean you still did at that point you like 15 minutes away from dead
the dentist I cannot stand the dentist have to get all doped up I have to get a car serviced it’s a nightmare really because we have a funny prank plan for you no cough coughing full of dentist
every coffee beans I’m so do you just not go to the dentist I go to the dentist all the time cuz I’m tired all the time I’m currently dating my dentist
I have a I have a deep cleaning coming up at Hollywood Dental Steve Levy book me a dentist and bathroom are on a little Oscar trophies like famous people
but
he ate the whole food places to get steamed after like Fame it’s a fiend theme dentist where to find a little tacky with a great theme and I texted Levy has like really Hollywood Hollywood themed dentist place and then he’s like it’s got a really good reputation is like well yeah it’s really fancy but I don’t know why did you just read their press release or I feel like the next sexual harrasment thing the next wave is going to be in the dental world just because that seems like it would be so easy yeah yo Pierre all of your patients are asleep and certainly there are tons of stories of waking up and there’s like a dick on your shoulder those stories I put my dick on the dentist shoulder when I mean speaking of things that I’m surprised I haven’t come up and given the current climate like man Sean Penn must be just
Cellar somewhere with a crossbow pointed at the door yet seems like they would be a lot of people that are like 20 years ago are like getting some kind of good that grandfathered-in or something yeah I paid my debt to society by making some movies yeah let’s all still play Chris Brown and R Kelly craziest thing
incorrect, it seems like this is going to like spread to Pro Sports and music with people and those are like every industry yeah I want the doctors and dentists and mailmen I want to hold my mail man comes to my door with his dick out
are you guys scared that it’s going to extend to like
but just like Secrets though like private victimless stuff that just makes you a sicko like if I if we start opening laptops and looking at bookmarks and stuff like like like worried that it’s just going to get to that where it’s like what do you think about when you masturbate it seems like there would be a line somewhere where and also just
it seems like eventually there will be so much of it that none of it resonates do you know what I mean I keep worrying about that too much of a backlash or once it comes out once somebody proves that any of that and I didn’t mean to derail the us into this conversation but eventually someone will
we’ll get caught making it up somewhere to be like oh how I made it up I was trying to get money or whatever and then that will that scares me because that could discredit the whole situation work or do you need the whole between that or just the sheer volume of it and the breadth of it that like it’ll play into you know men’s Sands they can go like see what happens after like a year and a half of it that mental go see you ladies yet you just you can’t you can’t run the party has gotten crazy and I know what it was and that it’s going to end then we just go handmaid’s tale cuz it like it’s so like if something happens where like a dude gets burned alive haven’t seen him and still no spoilers it. But like like like if there was that yeah I guess I’m saying the same thing you are going to be like if there was like some crazy thing or like a guy got stoned to death or something and I’m Albertson’s and then and then it was the wrong Jeremy
it was like Jeremiah pivot pivoting yeah and he was like a feminist activist very wet right now this is Brian Brian Posehn has just been outed in Chicago a big deal, to community and there’s an L A group of people who know about the Brian pasane is getting teased a little bit of the the drama I feel bad for real Joe Walsh cuz they said that Joe Walsh guy on Twitter and then people living a life of Illusion if you don’t think that guys like
I thought for a hot second Joe Walsh had become like a PJ O’Rourke figure something out and it’s because I worked hard to put the Dennis Miller I pulled myself up by my bootstraps
I know but Jeff Davis knows the real show while she was still out there bopping around being groovy and and playing with the Eagles like Glenn Frey died right yeah I think maybe Glenn Frey’s death like brought the other eagles closer and now they’re like I think to a random stuff a really something for your kids to get excited about the audience is going crazy I’m going nuts Cold War Kids will be opening for them if that means anything to your kids I wonder if it like if you are in a band that has seen better days let’s say you know you guys were big at one point or legendary at one point
but you still have to live and make a living and that’s what you’ve been doing your whole life like I wonder if it eventually starts to suck when you’re just like doing county fairs and eat like she’s my cherry pie band at a case-by-case they get bit like some of them are excited about it and some of them are like like hate it but it’s like yeah we’re not together cuz God’s going to need a kidney and yeah I did invest so good after rehab and goes off on his own kind of looks back as bad Mike I mean I’m for real yeah it’s great
what does Prince will get the revolution back together again it didn’t Lisa and Wendy need something
Fox I spent all our sock money that I like the Pharrell and Garth are out there together you know New Edition was like we got a Bobby Brown we got to do something we got to do it yeah
I
I hope that I find a billion dollars under a rock tomorrow too so I can curl up under my bed and wait for the world to end
they might have him give me a beat
I’m not working after this
MC Tomas House Cookies in effect put them on a sheet in the oven don’t forget to take them out so they don’t burn down your place till have cookies all over the place that you paid a chip motherfuker but you bite a chip Chris Tucker that you fight a chip
brother trucker
10 for Toll House cookies on the plate to begin with Toll House Cookies going in your mouth like I sent this Lord using the force but your mama’s so hard she said of course
fuck me more
fuck me in Morse code fuck me like beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep you spell it f u c k Morse code semen on her face and it’s okay she said do it again spell out your orgasm
Toll House Cookies MC toll apps
Yelp Chips Ahoy
it’s a boy get the toys

I’m not jealous of devices
think it makes making love nicest when a woman got a vibrator Toll House cookies come back later go in the basement and eat while she does it to herself with a with a dildo
all right so how’s cookies
ever open a can
just eat it with a spoon cuz you’re depressed
Yelp
tell him how we doing how we doing how’s that tell him how you do it that’s what he saying okay all right take a stick take a lock take your mama to a bog the fumes come up you inhale him
tell him how we doing how we doing how we doing
I just like to tease him at the end with an adventure to a bog sound like there was going to be a pretty cool adventure in that box they were going there with the stick and I have to wait to see what is the toll house thing yeah and it was not a show him how we do it I thought I couldn’t tell what he was saying yeah I was throwing me my street when I was growing up with Toll House Road no she act so I was pretty psyched about that when I was a little do people make jokes a lot of people I was harrist a lot people like you fucking elf you know
who is terrible in that I like now I can laugh about it I’m trying to correct cuz everybody thought I was the Toll House cookie elf
I lived on 52nd and Calumet
is that a Manhattan to sounds like I said Milwaukee
my dog got hit on that road and Calumet in Calumet was a busy street and if I ever want to make myself cry
like when I’m acting I can just think about the sound that my dogs who made when she got hit it was like a hit and run and it was like crazy sound sound of the car I remember and then and then this Lake plaintive wail that Sue Sue made before just dropping dead I just like she got hit and then went and then just made this sound and then died and then ice and then my dad had to go out and like scoop her up and I was like
a little kid was like an eye level with the dog as it was swinging in his hand and he had this like annoyed look on his face he’s like really mad that the dog got hit by a very long rap about your childhood pet getting killed yeah I’m not going to dwell on this bike for long but I remember our neighbors hit our cat and killed our cat one of her cats when we were little kids you know they felt terrible and they came to the door and the first thing in the mouth was can we buy you a new cat and we were like
why would I like that you know they were trying to start at 3 new cats bidding starts at 3 they packed our house with so many cats and always forgiven know if it was just such a weird inclination on their part like this happened would it will just get you a new one it’s like are you not aware we were attached to this cat like you know I know you’re trying to be nice but a third of a out of an apology is a commitment to change how do you tell you commit to chat you know it was either that or if we promise not to hit your next cat we will not get your next cat I left my house wants to go out and play and it is all going to be sad childhood stories and I played
what do you do at an empty Warehouse you know who it was that we don’t want to bring out our fucking Blue Chip factories in my cell Iran Iran Iran Iran out into the end of the neighborhood and played for several hours and came home and and my mom was waiting on the porch and she said do you remember me telling you as you left to bring the kitten inside so we had a new kitten and it was it was on a leash since I can’t move until I play outside and I call her and then and I said no I don’t remember
still don’t remember Mom and instruction I’ll take your word for it
but
it’s not going to bring mr. T back I don’t think it was mr. T that died but apparently there was a tomato Tower in the garden next to the front door and it it was on this long leg kind of just leash line like a lightweight clothesline kind of thing that was like long enough to let it like explore and play he loved tomatoes and he loved walking in circles around the perimeter of tomato towers and wasn’t the primate so did not have the thought of doing the opposite of what you’ve been doing it when it gets hard to breathe so it just kept apparently it just hung itself just like
and my mom informed me of this I didn’t have to come home to it but I did have to hear the story and is it was definitely the headline was that it was my fault you should have yeah I do like the style choice of ask the question but I don’t remember when I told you that
it’s kind of a it’s a pretty clever tactic it’s like cuz it cuz it be like if like yeah I do remember she she if she was making it up. It motherfuker cuz he killed your cat in your defense he could have been dead before she asked you to bring it you know he could have been there from the day before I don’t know when the last time was why it was just like it was like a rare thing to like yeah
I’ll fight Mom know I don’t remember that yeah I know I’m fucking 44 I’ve been trying to remember it my whole life so you know what I don’t fucking remember you saying that that cat was stuck you I want to know what a tomato Tower is it’s like a is it the little pyramid thing that you I would save wire-to-wire cylinder or a slight it’s not quite a true cylinder because the top is a little lesser diameter than the bottom Sky Tower of Pisa kind of that’s not accurate but but like it’s like a tomato Tower shower tomato Towers I guess the ideas but the Tomato will get born and then grab the tower and I guess the ideas what you don’t want your kitten to do that you don’t want it to like cling to the Tower of the Way Tomato does
they don’t make kitten Towers snow
nope maybe at the Humane Society they have do they have an array of those in the back
come on back here because here’s some tomato flowers have a blast we’ll be back in ten minutes they’ll all be dead we we we love our pets wheel of animals we love our innocent dogs and cats so we we are able to touch emotions when we think about them that we are not able to access when we think about human beings hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gatherings like an soul food do you miss meeting the parents I can get out well actually never met through that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes related my own life so it’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker it myself and one of the blackest film their teeth
from there it’s like ever you’re always in good hands adventures in Blackstone in love with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
with Ken Tony nominations including best musical the New York Post says something rotten is a big fat hit this hilarious new show tells the story of two brothers who are desperate to write their own hit play while the Rockstar Shakespeare keep getting all the hats with a local soothsayer for tells what the future of theater involve singing dancing and acting at the same time the brothers set out to write the world’s very first musical with his heart on its ruffle sleeve and sequins and it’s all New York Magazine said something rotten is the producers meets Spamalot meets The Book of Mormon it begins November 21st the tickets are at the Ahmanson Theater. Org that’s the Ahmanson Theater now through December 31st tickets at Ahmanson Theater. O RG now we return you to cast something rotten you’ll float to give me a beat
Yelp goes out to all the pets I killed sorry Rover sorry muffin sorry sorry that about all the stuff in that I let you eat that show con to death sorry sorry Beth
about the cat that I shot with my BB gun
do the eye
why I’m a sociopath should be a serial killer but I don’t have bravery or a support system
Jeffrey Dahmer’s in the house tonight clean out that crawl space play with the Bones tonight
squirrel bones chipmunk bones decapitated heads Ed Kemper and effect fuck his mother’s head after her death
cut her head off just to make a stop talking Turner off
man mindhunter
cruelty to animals it’s the number one sign according to the FBI that you going to have make people die when you become a person that’s grown up so don’t let your kids torture your pops take him to the therapist a fix this bitch
don’t wait to stitch nine stitches instead of doing A Stitch in Time
a stitch in time saves nine with the sociopath put that kid in the bath hold their head down maybe drown your kid might save a couple hundred people’s kids if your kids already dumb and you know that isn’t to take your thumb and put it over there trachea and push until you hear a pop
if it’s if you think it’s going to be a murderer
otherwise don’t kill your kid
Yelp but here’s what fantasy licorice did what I did was kind of ridiculous for Wayward you Children at Risk this is what we do we make them play foosball and weave baskets and go to the mall and we take him to the zoo and say look at those lions and they don’t grow up to be just trying to grow up to be lawyers and doctors and they work for Gamble and they work for Proctor my name is empty Licorice and I took a proactive stance try to turn it around way too high road me
MC licorice sorry I wasn’t at his fucking optimistic as you I don’t believe half the shit you just said why don’t you come over here instead of that shit to me instead of behind my back is it seem like it’s behind your back like an idiot the microphone
alright I’m coming over there
Jackson
fuck you fuck you
we just had an awkward fight make sure it’s a real stretch to the right big collars both turned out to fight like pussies do that it’s bears in for both of us
MC Licorice and me Dan schmegle
sociopathic not a serial killer animal torturer
I tell you about the time that I took a knife and I threatened the giraffe for his life but said give me your wallet for stoop down and said I got you longer than that cuz I’m not going to clown around I got to eat leaves and I said motherfukin giraffe now you’re going to die give me give me all your money said I don’t have none at that that’s right son that’s right son you’re a broke-ass giraffe cuz I’m a primate then I’ll tell you what I do I lift weights in the penitentiary just to get drawn I didn’t spend too long Ruby rehabilitating I just came in the Safari I’m going to
fucking rob Wild Game what I do rhinos give me your money okay
God yeah I know what why do they think that rap wouldn’t get be too horrible and dark when I really get beat up to talk about animal cruelty anyone takes that’s how freestyling works
cruelty to animals being such an indicator for future sociopathic tendencies like it seems like if you do if you are a person that is cruel and they should just put you in jail like that would save so many human live yeah I mean how many times do you hear when you’re just some gas all the neighborhood. I did some fucked-up think of a cat or something and then like bragged about it cuz it’s like they can’t help but brag about it to Killers but they definitely like what just because they don’t like whatever it’s like they’re what if it doesn’t even matter what your stance is about animals
like like one of your Peter has full-blown like no animal should ever be hurt and eggs you ate this morning are crying and stuff that or if you’re like way over on the other side and are like no it’s not a cuddly adorable dog I don’t give a fuck about animals or either even if you’re like the kind of person that like like a hates cats and shit like people that are just like they torture animals like they’d like to eat like they they do shit the cats and stuff like where they like they fuck with them like just a fuck with them but why not just like those people up yeah yeah it does seem to be an indicator
cuz it’s like what are you what are you do you like why would you why would you have fun doing that that’s the things weeks or if you merge the two being disrespectful to women and animals there’s this whole culture that we kind of got to rethink violence because I think I think we got lazy with it and we were sort of like well that’s fine but that’s not buying this is okay to watch this is okay to show and what sort of in a place where it looks like we might want to look at all of that again and that that might be one of the first things we do is be like animals with start with animals and work away up to human women as well yeah yeah where are we where are we headed
I see my optimistic view of it is that we are rototilling the fabric of society right now like where I’ve heard other people bring the concrete and it’s like of course that’s not going to feel comfortable or or even righteous sometimes it’s going to just feel insane and every day someone says alright that’s enough you know cuz it’s a friend of theirs or someone that’s like what him know that’s enough for this specific story is like that’s enough but yeah it’s a good it’s just like a jackhammering of the of the concrete and then and then hopefully then if we could just observe what we’re doing that that
instead of there being a backlash that maybe this is the ticket 200 we start to adopt a code on a principal where we go I okay I I I subscribe to the Lucerne of equivalent of the asimov’s rules of Robotics or something there’s like a there’s like a lost three rules a litmus test you can you can rent a lot before you have a human encounter it whatever it is and you got like okay so who’s harming who or who is getting away with that I don’t know there’s some like code and a good that’s like a religion that that that comes up out of it where it’s not about men versus women or people of color versus white people or whatever it likes stopped being that because it becomes so chaotic and it becomes so like Mister Rogers did that Ono and like like like at all ever all these heroes are funny people are tumbling and there’s all this like crazy shit till we’re all so confused that we all try out
once for order pig out give us the tell us what to do tell us how to think tell me something the tattoo on my arm so that I can just look at it give me a symbol of the Shamrock circle with three dots on it or something that can represent like the three the acid test of whether or not you’re good or evil and that then there’s and then it can just be about people that subscribe to that belief system versus people that don’t because the belief system I have built into it as does animal cruelty like I kind of like why would you bother fighting this likes and then there would be people going I don’t believe in that that circle with two dots saying why no one told you to get the tattoo but why don’t you why are you why are you so scared about that what’s what’s slippery slope is there for you
and I know then I could just like it shows people adapt to put them in prison the Al Franken think is sort of something that you just said which was that when they find out mr. Rogers has done something weird and it’s so frustrating to hear people sort of defendant because you’re at this point where you’re like the world assumed that only people you didn’t like guilty of a wake-up call to say it’s going to be guys that you’ve liked here to be people you love fathers and brothers and we have to say we have the same standard getting pretty close to I’m pretty sure like with a 10-year like I don’t think there’s probably not a photo you could dig up a meal at konkan some titties but leg and I don’t like it I don’t think I ever like as in terms of it so I would expect that sooner or later if we were going to be like like put a backlight over my entire life for years that
there’s got to be some narrative where I’m like way out of line in my past and I’m I’m definitely not pretending to not remember like I don’t I don’t know if that you know but what I do know is that if there was if there was some like if someone said something I was like oh yeah I was doing a show with Dan Harmon and he blah blah blah needed this so if it was true and I would go okay yeah that’s true and I ate I ate that was fuked up yeah I’ve been to either was just reminded of that because of the story or I’ve been thinking about that for a long time and I should die I’m really embarrassed about that but lies in that basically how else Franklin responded like like I don’t know if his apology was like suitable or whatever but you didn’t actually do for their to just be like oh yeah by the way here’s some like shit spray tan you there’s a little dipak on you from 2005 and you should be able to go
yep sorry and then the key is evolution in that if we found something about you in 1998 and then we you were still doing it in 2006 sort of like Anna Lewis situation I think then people are angry but if we find out that when you were eighteen you were inappropriate but now he’s a grown ass man there’s never been a case again against you then we see that you’ve evolved and I think that’s what people are asking for them. I think that’s the thing that separates cases and I think the crucial things are cover up dishonesty stuff like that like yeah if there’s a trail of like no I’m going to I’m going to keep doing this and I’m going to lie about it or like what it if it comes forward and then the person’s response is like that didn’t happen like okay then we have to end then it turns out it did happen then it’s like okay but do you understand that you’re that doesn’t bode well cuz you’re not that means that if you could get away with it you would as opposed to like oh did I do that Oracle it called the Urkle
just say did I do that just remember Oracle Oracle principal how do you spell Urkel and I will make up like an acronym for the how did that come up I don’t know who the real Frank and thing I guess yeah cuz it’s like yeah he’s a senator assume that all politicians are fucking creeps for sure right I was going to be what you shaking your head cuz of Maxine Waters you so fucking racist
I’m still about Kamala Harris I’m not racist she’s black to be a ton of old white men in DC like they get fucking purged from this I mean on both sides I’m sure you know of any state that should not be okay and I’m glad it’s no longer okay and we should expect that every single fucking one of them is going to have somebody come forward and say like yeah because people with power my therapist said she’s a she’s a married lesbian and she said they watched as she watched the show if she does she’s smart enough to pretend she doesn’t but it would appear or something but she’s a Family Guy references to like make her points she’s likes love it. Griffin has like an angel.
you could use I bet I would love to see your face when she said if you didn’t Family Guy references like are you trying to like we’re going to have to have it while he’s in, he’ll appreciate that I’m trying to see you twice a week because of your references are fighting me up like my Tesla is like like when do I get some validation where is I get it I should let go of the need for that but like do you have to
wait until she starts to talk about it like she doesn’t know you’re so she ate it with a chisel you should have seen on Rick and Morty do you watch that show anyway man you should have seen on Rick and Morty she said it’s eight date that the studies in the anecdotal evidence show even in the psychological Community if you would like like women who are not only women but they work in the shrink industry is it is it there still ways to become empowered as a person to the point where your mind starts to bend in you and they are in it and it’s it it it just happened the last because women are dark because we’ve we’ve got a split them into like they don’t get as many chances to be in such power that they can like find out I don’t totally I don’t think it’s like a split equal say I think God is going to take decades to convince me that guys aren’t like like neurologically like you like more fucked up like just like
I just seen it but I but I do believe her when she said like anybody that gets a ton of power over another human being like there’s all you have to go into that situation with your shit together at that is not going to bring your shit together that situation so there’s just like a big syndromes of like powerful women that will just like psychologically tortured the dude’s underneath on me and I like like like I think it’s probably smarter and more awesome anyways I hate why did that come up because you would says Kamala Harris she’s sexually harassed like all Senators we should just explain there’s no there’s no harm that can come from assuming that all senators are liars and thieves
duty to think that someone in the office is a good person or honor of all like it is arguably a patriotic duty is to be skeptical and assume the worst about our servants you know do you think this will swing around on Trump or will they just continue to say that having a long time then that’s not true he was mentioned that it made like a little poopy boy like three is a bad It Bout It Bout It being a billionaire we knew that bad at being president bad and then it turned out kind of marveling at how he’s bad at being Hitler about it being Hitler I never expected he’d be bad at sexual harassment like bad at bad at parsing at City Hall
it’s a beginning with slide show at there’s a hold up
being a douchebag about it looking at that photo just going home he’s like that photo and was like it got bad in the subsequent photos like Becky because he didn’t look at it as a bad thing yes
is in his world he’s used to getting busted for so much more he’s like if that was number one god-knows-what to 2/5 are the other the other way to determine it is that he got a hard-on
and was just sharing it with America who is it going like wow look at that all of his did all of his accusers just get paid off like have had a better just go away I don’t know I don’t know all I know is that people are you know when people say oh but what about this guy their sexual predator guy like why are we trying to like the whole amount of the race and all the stuff like like like if you pull them out of the race than eggs at Liberty learned that you know its neck and neck with a pedophile running so just kind of non pedophile that they would love for him to be disqualified what to do over so I was that I was making that like Justin just run your pedophile
I called and let the game begin you know that there’s this bigger chess game like we’re all we got a top although we got to get the majority but that’s how they’re thinking so much that they’re running a pedophile or so let’s like it’s not like oh be christ-like and just let them run the game but it when it’s when it’s that when there’s that much turmoil to the point where they’re like banging shoes on the table saying like you know I mean obviously they don’t have to see him once he wins the election to be the fucking
mean maths
your claim to fame hey I lost it a pedophile in Alabama with the lawyer that went after the people who killed the four girls in a church there were born out of said that that even sends a larger message to Mac and Mac yeah I don’t think it’s naked neck anymore anymore but it was back what kind of idiot is picking up their landline in Alabama in
I thought it was some statistic about like
I’m pulling this number out of my ass but it was like the actual numbers and play on my ass but so but it was like six out of ten evangelicals in Alabama say that now that they know about this there their they’re sending their endorsement know they want to vote for him twice or whatever but they’re more likely to vote for him now like how is there even a degree was that a Continuum I would have more likely to vote for one of two people though though we’re at the binary decision between whether I’m in my mind whether I’m good or evil now I’m more likely to double down the most brilliant move would like time at playing chess was the robocall thing of like let’s have a fake
Jew from The Washington Post calling in like marking around looking for more dirt on him just to Sully the whole universe to like just a fan the Flames of resentment I didn’t hear about that it was a it was a false flag robocall it was a robocall in Alabama a real robocall that went out and it was you got to hear it it’s it’s amazing it’s a it’s a it’s a recording in the Washington Post and I’m looking for some information about about that what’s his name about the the fucking you know who everyone and they’re like if you have any tips no questions asked I pay $5,000 call this number but just so that
just a muddy the waters so that people are are confused about whether or not that’s real and whether or not the process of finding that information is interested to throw doubt on whether or not any of that information is really most people said things like I don’t know about the timing of the time it’s kind of weird yeah what do you mean the timing of finding out that these allegations from all these women from from like 40 years ago and there has had a long career, now that seems weird to them and you know they’re not taking their account that there could be this movement going on where and they feel empowered it or embolden to speak out in to speak up and they didn’t before I am also could have her up was 40 years
well I didn’t know it was under that’s so weird like it would be like yeah who gives a shit if it’s politically motivated to come forward and say that works the job that you want and you got a the most people are just listening to this a regular kind of bit like like there’s no audience to feel like enough I didn’t mean that the audience listening is going crazy I was joking about the people who live out of your ear
cardboard cutouts of people
somebody did want suggest that we should fill it with mannequins and then said the Dan would not be able to concentrate on what is Steve another exciting thing about all this Lake you know allegations and all his stuff is like unless I assume we’re not going to start kinkshaming right because especially like if you’re it’s like I kind of like I never set out to be a hero by jerking off on a mannequin leg but because of that the victim was crying I’m kind of looking to Accidental like that happened with Arthur. Let’s go and bring those six legs out and their testimony right now like I just happened to that’s that that’s the other thing I would be careful about that’s why I’ve been like you’re careful to let go like I was talking about the silence and let’s guys will take a counter but they were treating women and all that stuff because I don’t want cuz otherwise I’m in the catbird seat and I didn’t want to be because I didn’t shoot at that by choice that’s like leftover by choice than if I was born in like gay or something like that like my proclivities don’t happen to have all involved like
the lake Lake Link living people I mean like I don’t like it just did a YouTube video go so far you know like it it doesn’t it I never really I don’t have the biology I don’t think that results in like being so frustrated with a woman for not letting you a Salter that you have to jerk off in a potted plant look like while she watches just to just to get your life back but whenever anything that involves like, craving and not stuff I’m always like even though it’s like really easy to vilify the the creepy people like I know what I’m creepy you know like I’m just not I just don’t happen to be creepy in a way that like would ever bring me into an intersection where somebody else was getting hurt without their consent but I I don’t think that’s that I don’t think that’s because I’m a noble person I think that’s because I
thank you saw some pantyhose feet under the table when I was 10 years old the seventies or something like I don’t want it would be just like he’s so easy to just go like oh yeah let’s go let’s go let’s find all the all the worst people on that’s like let’s get rid of them but it’s not really but you can find monsters if you look for Monsters like you’ll just find them but I don’t think that’ll. I think if you could wave a magic wand and get rid of every guy that I’ve ever heard of person I don’t think that would solve the problem people are complexity and no one is everyone has bad shit about them and then you know everyone that is being
my friendship
you know all those people are still going to be in society and living in like they were charged with whatever sexual misconduct or sexual assault or a like
is their families and kids and they love their kids and you know they just beep sometimes I’m not defending any of this but I’m saying that people are complicated and good people do bad things and so how do we deal with that we have to make this about like how do we how do we fix Society not if we hit it is it’ll be the easy way out to make it into a A kid got this one that one that one that you some symbolic bullshit because for a couple reasons one is like just your classic scientific reason which is like the same reason your doctor tells you you got to finish these antibiotics you can’t just take him and tell you don’t have the sniffles anymore and then throw them in the garbage you got to keep taking them after you feel good because you’re if you’re if there’s a couple left there just going to be really good at being making you sick so the metaphor there is like do we really want to just find the weinsteins hang them from the highest tree and
and what’s left o the the super secret agent Predators never get caught the Kevin Costner’s in mister mister mister Pottery lacquer what’s that movie mr. Brooks the mr. Brooks is out there will remain do you know watching the Weinstein corpse swaying and they’ll be like okay back to work with my Jeff Daniels or William Hurt Tyler Durden in my SUV guiding me
you know you want to come on come on you know you want to go to come on let’s go kick some more
I never tried William her just fucking did it so it’s when is anyone ever going to appreciate me for the fucking like accidental Rich Little that I am I can do do a perfect impression of any celebrity wants I’ll never be able to William Hurt ever again you guys know that you were astounded was pretty great he’s playing deep Cuts tonight but then someone will say to your William Hurt and I’ll go do you guys want to hear my impression of of the the beginning of the sword in stone with short sword and scale podcast today that disclaimer guy
how do you know I do I’m not going to recognize this but I’m going to act like I do
stewardess kittenish it and I can’t do it now can I do it privately I did it once right trying to do it try it again violence in adult seems now
and this is lore
podcast impressions
Karina Longworth had something interesting to say
about Otto preminger list
is the story of m g m
and Charles Manson
I was wondering if you could all trying to maybe a little bit of fiberglass the other weird thing will be does Charles Manson by virtue of our culture’s well Justified penchant for irony and and going lateral order for correcting as we go will Charles Manson get a worse or better Viking funeral that Hugh Hefner Hugh Hefner got fucking blasted likely he he lived fifteen years too long like if he had died fifteen years ago which so many people that knew him and then we’re in the same room with him argue that he did say that he would have just been your usual like you know he would have gotten that eulogy to expect of like he was an iconoclast in a rebel millionaire that stays with culture
but it’s like he just hung on so long that you got to see but I see you later you fucking monster at me while living in the nation’s that was part of the deal for sale the odd on the price tag that you eat that he was allowed to live there till he died small continue reunite both properties cuz it used to be one huge supermansion a really not crazy I never been there I would like to eat like it’s about their parties out there and give me the Playboy Mansion Mel Blake mildew because it was raining and so they did something they don’t normally have to do which is there cuz it was an outdoor on the lawn par at Courtyard party or so
they had to enroll awnings that I think just were only they just rolled up since the last time it rained and so the whole place smelled like your grandpa sleeping bag yeah and the buffet was sort of weird looking sad kind of like bad Hotel did you ever get that at Princess Cruise Lines dark dark famous David Hasselhoff story takes place me and Rob we where we went we harassed and yeah we walked up to him and then said we’re just we’re just high off our asses like we have to talk to David Hasselhoff when we go we made it we made a pilot is it and it’s about you it’s inspired by you it’s like you made a pilot about me
every time I keep pushing to Jacqueline
is about as it is, it’s very inspired by my Knight Rider as early as a Steeler
Travis said Zoolander
why that was his from the processing all of this lick Cox has a tassel head and then goes zoolander’s about me and I’ll try but I just like it is beet and we must be a yes and then just walked away that’s awesome I’m sure he eat might still think that are like two people cracking up like like pumpkin but we were just like we were too high to be talking to anybody and now the only the only real victim of the story is going to be a David Hasselhoff lawyer because he got a phone call like I want you to look at it more like Sue Lander
Hasselhoff look at every party has to endure like so many of you know so many people that just Stone like we have to talk to hassle literally if it’s okay for him he’s so hard to find in a crowd because he’s only seven foot 0 back to find out that everyone’s five foot three like you and I are tall guys relative to these like he was trying to belittle open phone support all is well yeah yeah he’s tall do you know anything about I’m trying, I’m not worried about that I congratulate you on your choice of venue to flag it for YouTube
read which is like at their new pay thing but it just came out it’s called do you want to see a dead body God damn it how did this get made yeah yeah and so it’s basically we used to do this bid on funny or die and we just expanded that into like a larger TV world where yeah I just take different comedians out to go find a fucking dead body somewhere are you accomplishing even ironically a like interview that was we thought about that was going to be the original idea was like oh it’ll be like a talk show and I’ll talk to them but I know it’s fully scripted so I play me and they play you know I’m a weirdo version of them but it’s always like it’s very little about the body have you have you met our new running character tiny Brandon
did you think that no one was going to notice you like he was slick can you stick around a little while and just okay
tiny Brandon do you are you worried about America
well we’re on tour I see a lot of different faces all so big I know tiny Brandon was a child that I think he’s he’s he’s an adult but he’s mentally handicapped I first saw him I thought it was like part of the harman babies think we’re launching or it’s like all of us that are like younger but now I think he’s I think he’s 48 meet fucked up
there was a fuck up at the hospital
have a good way to leave the fish
okay thank you Tammy Brandon we won’t keep running time for me to hang out with that person but it’s not like a reality show scripted things so supposedly famous people will drop whatever they’re doing and come with me to go find a different dead body every episode called know there was no way that to use everything writers in Hollywood history famous people nowadays so many famous people quotes but sometimes we do sometimes we don’t find a buddy sometimes the guest
become like there’s no with John show that starts out and 5 Seconds into it he falls into a thing as quicksand and so the whole episode is me I run into town to buy some rope and then I just keep getting distracted and you know getting it getting that you know her anger into something else and then I keep coming back to him to give him an update and every time he’s like lower and lower in the quicksand so then he becomes the body that’s on sale but there’s like one with cordary where
Corgi starts counting this big dog and someone for cutting through someone’s backyard this is big fucking mean dog and a quarter starts like taunting it course the dog breaks off a chain in the whole episode has us running full speed away from this murder you like very scary dog and a so it’s just dumb bits like that you know they’re 15 minutes long super super easy and silly and it’s like my favorite favorite thing in question and I have a show with YouTube Red so
I get asked this question and have no idea how to answer it but what the fuck other people know how to answer it maybe that’s why they asked what it what’s it what was it what was it like I’ve told everybody it’s been really great because they let me do literally anything like literally anything they were just like super psyched you know I think they’re just kind of getting going with a lot of their shows and I trying to get more people to come and do shows there so you know the beginning
you know like Netflix and Amazon when they first started their like how do we how do we get good people to come make shows here oh we don’t fuck with them so that was my experience they were super cool to me you know I I wish that they would run fucking commercials like on TV for it and stuff like that and but they’re like no no no we’re YouTube we’re going to put it like all around and I’m like oh okay well then I’ll see you guys soon I think they’re making I’m very dubious about 1 but this also might not be an actual thing that they’re doing this maybe how they explain what they’re doing to people they have no intention of bringing back for a second season but it’s what I’m hearing through the grapevine is that their methodology is like they’re going to they’re just waiting to see
how many people subscribe and then of that of that group of people that subscribe like
how many of them based on the behaviors that are very monitor a bowl from YouTube’s cockpit like how many of them subscribed for your show and then like very very meticulous very valuable but there’s this aspect to it looks like they’re not 888 there waiting to get the entire picture show measurable now you know like what you watch how long you watch did you watch the whole thing that you know did you not watch it you know what else you watch this like that so that sort of stuff is scary and it like but they have even more specific data you know just the title makes more sense know how I miss makes more sense my show was it ended up being Community but if what if Esports
oh this could be a real TV show and if I had known what the business plan was going to be in terms of like how you got to pick up yeah I would have called my show for instance do you want to see a dead body can literally because that’s like the most brilliant because it’s like it just I would have leaned into some kind of hook or I would have called it like fuck yeah cool cool dicks TV 14 yeah yeah yeah yeah because you didn’t like like that’s not Amazon that’s not Netflix it’s at those other companies were just like yeah it is true that those companies are like well we don’t really know what we’re doing so let’s just start doing it yet who wants to episodes okay this person who worked in TV this was more than TV and that I’m worried about this model like dying on the vine a little bit like but but then again there YouTube
making money in the world is wrong and yes I can do that and then be even better than everybody aspects of it like the TV 14 type approach that I want to do that I don’t like make a show that’s appropriate or palatable for like little kids like I don’t really care like all I really want to do is make a super fucked up funny show with our friends you know and like I knew that if we did that then that’s all I can control I got I can’t control any of the other bullshit of the marketing and you know who subscribes to it and how many people will be so yeah I try to approach things as I’m sure you do is just like someone gave us some money to make this let’s make this thing as cool as we can and then maybe we’ll get to make more who knows if we don’t like that but then again

like we’re excited about the Esports staying and it had an exciting take on it we took it wide YouTube Red ended up expressing it the most interest in it so that whole process is kind of like incompatible with the idea and then we’ll see if anyone wants to subscribe based on zero promotion and what they click on and how long they click on it but again I would have called my show pussyfoot it would have been the adventures of Yoshi flat know and then the Sub sub headline would have been like could have posed to be a shoe like like like it’s something real like I would have called it makes niblets Cole in the pussy shoe Diaries anything that would like be trendable lickable in like and would have had it like a gorilla feel to it to have tried to make shears
you’re not going to watch it yet so I don’t know
I think we did it wrong well this is tricky for sure and I am in our show just came out on Friday so I don’t I mean I will say this to about the the name of the show has not been an easy name in the current country that we live in because like yeah we were going to put the show out last month and then the Las Vegas shooting happen in YouTube was like no no no no no no no no no don’t fit in there like you know let’s let’s move and I was like yes absolutely and then and then you guys just do a little bit of a tiara and she would you like to avoid seeing a dead body at all costs of is that it’s like I kind of like you know this is not me killing people there’s no violence in the show it’s just a fucked-up treasure hunt you know it’s like me it’s like Stand By Me you know it’s like it both just would like funny adults
do but it’s still like the name of it scared them a lot I think it’s just as far as working till your work till death death devil goes away is like 100% saturation to the point where no one could possibly be offended because it do it would be like if your show is called who wants to breathe oxygen because there’s just dead bodies everywhere but but you know what’s funny about this like a weird like Magnolias ish I’m just remembering it
not to make us feel old but it’s got to be almost twenty years ago now when the human giant was on MTV and I had a sketch show on VH1 and the Virginia Tech massacre happened and and it was like I think Columbine happened before that write your mileage before Virginia Tech but then like it was it was taken very seriously I didn’t mean to say that and then I rolling way I just like saying with all of us it’s like Jesus Christ somebody send those people a message about how serious to take death but the craziest ice I was watching MTV I was watching your guys show and that sketch blood blood pact Blood Oath yeah yeah it’s a sketch sketch on the human giant show the guys are trying to do
where to where to eat lunch during their business lunch and they take a Blood Oath to that we decide to go to a a barbecue place but just in order to guarantee that no one will change their minds we going to like the storeroom of the store we working like a fucking little tiny little video game store or like okay let’s just on the same page like let’s go take a blood oath and so that no one changes where we’re going today you know so we go in the back and there’s just this fucking ritual where we all slice up in her hand and it becomes really gruesome and liked what we when we drink blood at everything comes like a bananas last time you were here on the show together and on the show together maybe I can catch and and the other thing is that
also at the time my my sketch show on VH1 like is there was this cold open we wanted to do where there was a sniper in the in the show or something and it was like kind of my old SCTV style thing where was just like we would just have different gimmicks for a wrap around like we wanted to just have there was a stapler Loose as a cinematic trip now you can’t pitch that without you you would think like oh do you do a mass shooting has like no snipers warrant that topical started we when we rode it was that and then Virginia Tech happened and then the word came down from VH1 which is the same company Viacom it saying like you don’t can’t do this on Cypress Garden turn on the TV
sketches they take the blood out so then they did it just goes insane and it’s like they’re rubbing blood on each other’s nipples and they’re just like drinking blood and it’s going insane and it turns into this like satanic thing and it’s just blood everywhere in the middle of it is just quietly and then ceremoniously this giant lower third bug comes up and it says MTV supports the families of the victims of the Virginia Tech or massacres during that sketch by just coincidentally or they don’t want it was wondering why I never heard that name in giant like we got to get I think he’ll but I was at but then I thought what be reasonable than they already shot this tearing and you they killed your script
but this couldn’t be killed so they brought this bug up over and that had to be coincidence just sheer coincidence but it looked like they had that would be I don’t think that they are organized enough to like go through their shows and know that there’s a really violent bloody sketch airing tonight we should put a we should put a condolence message that but that is perfect timing and also
I don’t know it sounds like coming by, but due to the families of the victims would be so relieved when my brother got killed at so I’m feeling bad I think I should start flipping the channel honey wait wait look there’s a message we love you we love you Donald fuck but they’re going to put that will lower third I’m cool with this sketch I think we killed Charles Manson
did he just died at 8:16 to that true did we kill him with our words and I think right at the time that we were talking about him dying he died Lisa Hansen the third time and he is pissed I don’t want to become famous for that maybe we were little ants and kill her but something was going to happen so just that is there any like what was it like just old age just got to go guys I’m so sorry I’m so upset about this I don’t know he was just able to go I mean I got to go I got to go earlier he hung himself look I know what’s coming there’s a lot of allegations people might be talking about this
I sexually assaulted Leslie Van Houten
there will be allegations I don’t know why he didn’t get killed in the first place why there wasn’t a death penalty barely did anything that’s a twenty-year-old fetish I have not for Manson but just for like exceptionalism like like I I just get mad or I used to get mad if you go somewhere residual shit there where I would do I just get mad about like how hypocritical we are about our treatment of prisoners murderers whatever like like he killed I think he killed a couple people here and there because he was a scumbag but he was in prison for his entire life because he had more influence over kids than the government yeah I just always like this is horseshit should be out in the street but then again also like like like come on like like like pick a lane Society
SD respect this guy or do you like like like like I don’t know man I remember this podcast
I work where I saw like this this like inside the prison where he was and there was like this leg security guard going like giving a tour of his cell and Centennial Lakes showing all the stuff that he was making up these art project like he’d made like a tarantula out of stock threads and it was like really look like a tarantula sounds badass and he he like the prison guard sick kept picking up the second one looks like you made a tarantula photo-realistic tarantula out of socks red again he’s not supposed to be doing this cuz he doesn’t have his arts and crafts card he lost it in February
add my girlfriend who would like a huge Roman Polanski Fannin who blames Roman polanski’s entire against she she blames that was my first fight with that girlfriend and I found out like she’s like why won’t you marry Charles Manson fights with a girlfriend where you actually kind of fall in love late like during the fight cuz you’re like wow you’re you’re fucked up to like you you really love Roman Polanski
anyways so he died just being an old dude I’m pretty sure it’s just a being an old dude
and I still wait refresh my memory so he’s so he can so he he just told people to kill people I mean he was definitely guilty of murder he said he was paid up on those cuz our society does let you murder some people unlike serve a couple years in prison and he did do that and then but that’s the real reason he was in prison is because he was like a cult leader that that inspired people to go out and kill a bunch of people and I always found that a little at it yet I don’t care anymore I want my old Obama Society back I don’t want I just want to be I just want a hot cup of coffee and some hypocrisy and some drone strike and forced fucking like first world Comfort I’m sorry I ever talked at all game I was never known Chomsky I was never Off the Grid I never ate any kind of pill I’m a fucking pussy and I just want I just want my car
airbag I’m sorry I ever sided with Charles Manson but I just at the time I felt like if you if you if you made me pick a side between the guy that’s locked up for influencing people to murder people and the person who’s saying is not supposed to make the spider cuz he doesn’t have his arts and crafts I’m not going to tell you what did kill anybody but at the time I was like you know maybe I’ll be influencing people from a ranch at some point when you’re wrap you did
give me a beat of shit
about time we going to do man to help you feel like dancing to the new man sent beat to the beat to the fucking feet put your feet down it’s going to be beat beat up and beat down what your mom is so hard to smile with a frown turned it upside down and talk to her again put my dick inside of mouth did it again from 9 to 10:10 p.m. refractory.
Yo you knew Manson yellow striped ants and Left Foot Right Foot jump in the air put your mama so hard her give her long hair she became a hippie came to my Ranch I said let’s do something trippy go up in the hills kill people with a fork right Pig on the wall start a race war black people white people that was their plan know that was their plan that was the plan Charles Manson was a fucking horrible races that’s the other thing that I learn that’s why I shouldn’t be sympathetic to Mansion Charles Manson was a racist guy he said here’s why we’re going to be the only ones left were going to start a race war it be the only ones left were going to go kill these famous people and write black people did it on the wall basically and then everyone will kill each other and then they’ll be in a shelter Helter Skelter they’ll come out and never felt better all right Charles Manson Don’t Stop the Beat Don’t Stop the Beat new mansion in the street
new Manson’s named Dan Harmon going on the ranch is causing no harm and just inspired people to live but what’s the shit you give going to put me in a Cell next
just cuz I can suck your mom has neck and gave her a hickey
dimmer slipped her a Mickey is always consensual on the Dance Floor
me and your mama go back a long way fuck your mama so hard to Doris Day then I’m Gene Kelly touching my dick got smelly gross sorry sorry sorry so disgusting bad rap is no no good
bad rap is no good metal isn’t would you can’t make a flute from a sewer cap rap rap city rap go to rap about this said rap about that put my left foot forward on my right foot back oh shit Manson’s back get on the floor and tell it people go out you don’t need to Steeple take your shit into the hills and fucking do some kills and write Helter Skelter on the wall and then we’ll get a race war from it all then cool dig a bunker in the ground and here’s what we will have found that the black people killed all the white people and then we’ll have bottle caps for money and we’ll be happy I’m not sure what the plan was
okay here’s the deal I fucked your mama’s heal
rub my dick on the joint
gave myself a point made a game of it a parlor game sucked your mama truck is the same but the the point giving me incentive what if I could get invented your mama so hard she can punch your mama did it again went to
Detroit
fuck your mama in Beloit that’s place in Wisconsin
your mama is discontent my come all right no more fucking mama’s it’s the wrong time it’s not the right place to be disrespecting women all over the place Ryan place to place and they going to rain coming on her face and the other women are human beings there there are equals and they have feelings and we should respect them as partners but I thought about it really hard harder than I’ve ever felt your dad and when I fuck man I’m not half bad I’m bisexual bike here I guess I’m going to fuck you so hard that you wonder what it is that I did with you last night and then he’ll go to work and you start to feel tight in your neck and your spine and the part of your calf pain when you go to the doctor and I’ll say what have you done and you say son went out with Dan Harmon of the phone begun and he’ll say don’t do don’t go out with him he’s fucked up he goes to the gym with Rob huebel when it works out but his mom until she got the gout her legs got kind of cramped on the ramp on the treadmill Rob huebel going to do it in the Bubble Boo Boo’s mom’s you to stay
Rob huebel workout today Rob huebel workout rap Rob huebel don’t take that Rob huebel work Them Bones Rob huebel don’t go home Rob huebel going to get fit Rob people’s mom’s got tits I squeeze them and I fuck them I lick your titties and suck them I’ve made his mom pregnant Rob huebel is my son rob you with my son that’s where the story begun he’ll drop you will up and said be like your dad 7UP
scintillating effervescent elevating
3 * 3
take a pee
there’s a vast difference between you and me in the elevator of my dick you see
Festival
seminal vesicles
to bleeding from my testicles
70 Furious tubules
YouTube with the jewels
YouTube YouTube 71st YouTube ewell’s
Yelp
new Manson
I’m dancing up and down
make a proud new Manson
do Manson do Manson just got born on Sunday morning got all shaving and showering
eat some corn mash it up make it soup. Out eat it with poop put it on a place with a fork fuck your mama like my name was Mork & Mindy in the place to be Pam Dawber doesn’t need more
grief
leave her out of it
you may answer
new Manson Charles name inspiring but game going to talk to people tell him what to do take out the forks killing through stab pregnant women
then go swimming in the blood Roman Polanski gets so fucked up that he fucked a child that’s what’s up
Charles Manson’s fault his hands were tied on that one apparently that’s what they say
if it hadn’t been for Manson he would have been a proud father
Roman Polanski
can a weird when you see his recent movies with Johnny Depp
they’re not that good
forgive me AFI top 100, so hard
Charles Manson
yep
Manson
sock threads spider fuck your mama on a Ryder Truck U-Haul don’t matter which one ticket across the country to have some fun moved from New York to LA started this killing spree today started a cult on a mansion Ranch said go out there like your name is Blanche Golden Girls take this fork for a world go stabbed two people with it all right we’re talking in circles massacres blood Virginia Tech
families
word
Johannesburg
all right stop me and they could have some catchy parts parts
what you have done stuff for HBO and you’ve done stuff for Adult Swim that you’ve been a producer is that something that you I know we’re not bringing it back to me
play I don’t want to ruin it by saying if it doesn’t the perfect Buck you show format it’s like that’s my dream is just towards producing more than before I don’t love doing that yeah I don’t like what I like I like it as lazy as the next person I like it when you can show up and and they wrote a really funny script and you do that script and if in if there’s a sign or like in an improvised and also make it if you want to throw in your own jokes like I love that but more and more it doesn’t happen so I feel like I write stuff out of necessity like that for myself in an actor’s life I don’t think that a good really caught off-guard like that like next to NFL player in how
how well you’re treated for a very short time and then you are your phone does not ring yeah I just didn’t ever want to be one of you know you know you want to be able to control things as much as you can and him and you know I am not a good writer I don’t think I’m a good writer but I it’s fucking really hard I have a hard time writing you probably just fucking pound it out and it’s genius but like I fucking sit there in like just sweat it out it’s so hard but I just use that the hardest part with that is that the hardest part or is y’all riding at or is it harder to manage cuz you’re in the band The managing of the thing I’ve had help with because it like 4 Dead Body and stuff I did that with the guys from children’s hospital with abominable in so they help with all that and funny or die so I’ve had a lot of support with I don’t know how to fucking higher cruise and do a budget for a show like I I sort of hire someone
do that for me but the actual like you know they eat but but so I try to focus on like the writing and then like getting the right mix of actors to help us out other, two people to help us out so I like all that but but to your to your point I do that out of necessity because like to just be like a guy that’s
popping up every now and then on TV shows and movies like that you can’t I don’t know how you would can do that anymore like I think you have to have like you know I wouldn’t try to help with panic the whole time yeah you have to be creating stuff you know you have to use even if you’re successful at it I think that those psychological of not controlling your own Destinies still am I might like succumb to that completely insane yet but I do get very jealous of people that that just fucking unit just like oh and then I was on this show and then I would did this huge movie and now I’m I’m fucking set you. I just haven’t had that in like yeah you know but more power to you is like that Siri is the goal the good cuz I’ve been a fool I think or have I maybe I’m nailing it I don’t know cuz I just feel like I’ve spent so long in such a
Canik backed into wool is it it’s like there’s this fundamental layer of like wall you got them not be homeless you got a not end up fucked up like like like you got to end up not stupid like like that you you didn’t see this trend or that Trend coming or that you know you didn’t see your own obsolescence you didn’t you got to it’s at I just have this very Wisconsin like just Terror in that I don’t even think about it’s just they’re just the foundation of my life is like going to retire so funny cuz it’s like I’m not getting you I have no desire to hurt like I do like I don’t like not knowing the answer to that question is called Freed’s
is find Melissa toddlers under a rock and then Rick and Morty I do stuff for fun like I do know what I know and it probably like
it’s like Rick and Morty comes from such Joy so easy it’s like Adult Swim said do something and I said well I don’t want to do something bad so I called Justin and then like just just yes and to Justin into this thing that makes so many people happy that then also now is the saying that I’m going to end up that is going to represent the biggest paycheck I’ve ever gotten out of all the shit that I’ve ever done and it is also the thing that was just fun so what is all this other Daffy Duck shit that I’m always pull in where I’m like Taco Bell in ground beef package and like like I’m trying to be a producer because I’m in a panic you know
yeah I don’t I don’t know the answer I guess it just depends on what yeah what you how you value your time and how you value your sanity and an end in how and if money is the most important thing or if it’s just like oh I want to make something that I really like and you know I don’t know I don’t know it’s different everybody I guess except for the hospital but the hustle is the same for all whether it comes from the morning to retire earlier with it comes from having to put it on the table or whatever comes from wherever it’s it does not change it like well I don’t know about great but I just try to fucking keep doing shit but I have a thank you for saying that but he’s like people online or whatever like on Twitter or whatever just like when people say that shity why would you do it’s like well one
you just try a lot of shit some of it is good so it is not good you saw something that wasn’t that good I’m still doing other shit to you but I agree with you that thing was not that good you know that you know Garfield and then yeah but dinner stuff like that like like I would be in Garfield 7 in a heart will have exactly that’s what that’s what I say why the fuck are you watching her I said yeah yeah I would love to be in Garfield 7 which is a good thing probably but it’s gone away because like that that Holly would like and if it has been cracked like weird people look at what we do as honest labor now a little bit they look at it is very very privileged like we’re lucky cuz I haven’t lifted a box in years
and I have a five-bedroom house and I don’t have five children I have two dogs and some Slim Jims and I Hannah and it’s like so it’s a mansion relative to what I’ve done in who I am and it’s a fucking Wonderful Life and so it’s what I do at the same time think that on an unconscious level people don’t think about it anymore the way they used to I remember when David Cross was in Small Soldiers to or something and I was like what because I was fresh off the boat from Milwaukee and was like oh yeah I just everything was a choice and everything mattered then like I don’t think any I can’t imagine anybody like Aubrey Plaza why’d you do Grumpy Cat late like like I don’t I take the answer to everything I was because it’s a joke cuz Life’s a joke important and it was like it was December and there’s nothing else going on and I wanted to go to fucking you know what they were
shooting it in Australia and I got that be a fun place to go do a little Depression had called it so I had to get off the couch or I just broke up with my boyfriend I wanted to get away from him so I went to it yeah. Why David crosses in Small Soldiers to comes from this weird old world supposition that the goal is to become Cary Grant or something that there’s going to be like like Lori you’re going to be in Lawrence of Arabia if you play your cards right or you’re going to be Bill Murray and like I just don’t we don’t we see any more world has become completely different so I don’t know if when I like a tour of the world is change Drive change but when I see a poster on a bus stop in like Paul F Tompkins is looking out from behind a Genie bottle or whatever that I’m making that up it’s not real but but if I saw that I would be like I took my horn and go
but maybe that’s that’s a total Distortion of of of working out here yeah I don’t I don’t know that those that that status exist any more of like oh then you just like the Cary Grant analogy is like the good one but yeah I don’t I don’t think that exist I don’t think you ever graduate to this Stratosphere where then you just fuck in like Coast you know when you’re just in the stuck in huge awesome project may be like that Chris Pratt has done it even middleditch is doing and usually you didn’t do those at the same time you do you do a series to end up the series maybe like two guys miss me and I’m rubbing a product in my first thought is to change so happy I think all that is the commercial
simultaneous are money yeah you’re on the TV show commercial I’m not a fan of sports but everytime I see an athlete in a sock commercial or something on my tug good save your money like don’t like you’re a gladiator and they’re going to murder you and hang you out to dry on like it’s so great for you and your family that you got to let advertise beef steak or something like they gave you make it through that thing I just put that money in a coffee can and fucking guard it with a shotgun like buy a house in the worst part of the country and so that it stays there forever State Farm is the greatest insurance going to play the lightning you probably asked yourself why I’m at IHOP
is there an is there any commercial not that you were doing him but is there any commercial that Shaq will not Jones back to you Depends Underwear and who was the cat with the combination of like Conan and I think Charles Barkley and Anderson Cooper Lake Charles Barkley’s like really funny they like really is he known as among the people are McCarthy of basketball players in that it’s like oh look he can like make faces to it’s like he’s the David Lee Roth of
this dude but he does have he’s got bits he’s the comic relief but that Shaquille O’Neal voice careful there’s an obstruction coming up accident amazing
we loved it I like right yeah I like that there’s a there’s tarot cards we have four different people like we we need a nesina we need an Aphrodite we need a Zeus we need a Hermes like we like you like Arnold Schwarzenegger occupied this like a myth for like so long it was just like
is catch phrases were parodies of catchphrases which were parodies of cat is this like like like like you always want that like big dumb brute but I like like like somebody that kind of sounds like there a no. They just like say stuff and I’m not I’m sorry Shaquille O’Neal if I called you an oaf like I don’t I don’t know if you have your a giant like a maid as you sound slow because your heart is probably beating like a whale’s like I got his probably it’s probably like when you when you listen to the whale beats and it’s like going to take a bucket of blood has to go up 9 feet
you are never going to be on his body myself out of this I didn’t mean to call him slow I feel like I should just leave you here so wallow in this horrible with wrap it up in a much better way than that
Charlie Brown is pissed off to the African-American community did we talk to roll podcast
yeah I heard that you I hope that catches fire I just got a text from Ryan Seacrest once we clear it you hanging out with him right now it seems like he has more to do with right now then texting you
today I’m going to go back to work he’s always texting you just connect the dots between Seacrest and watercress
there’s no probably nothing to do there right so the crest like I feel like a rap song about to happen yeah alright well I got to throw it to both of you I’ll pick it up OSHA test you okay wait about now
how to rap
the rapping it’s not about this clapping it’s not about fur trapping it’s not turn of the century in overlapping
we’re just waiting for the beat to drop a little
look at me and landed on me cuz I ain’t doing nothing but slinging rock you see from Staten Island to the coast in Maine in to the game I got every Borough I can name them by name but got Brooklyn Bahamas and Main Yelp I know all of the New York Times Like fingers world for come my name for cyclin and I live under the water up I’m fucking, then I’m also fucking daughter’s cuz everyone is a fish to me and I can talk to fish as well as you can
see and you can see in the dark but you cannot see me because I’m the monster that’s coming after the typical when I’m stretching for a rhyme I talk to him when the forks need to talk to yo mama so hard
fuck your mama so hard
fuck your mama for a hundred yards throwing it to empty hubel now tears not the face of Ryan Seacrest appears on the face of Ryan Seacrest he thought he was the best but he is a monster Seacrest you know you did it
I got alcoholic boxer you was a monster back to you. Check out the me
I hate you so
yo-yo stalling stalling for the beat waiting for it to drop
right about now tricky be stalling for Beats stalling for Ryan stalling for time stalling for feed strolling all the tax dollar for Crime it’s all in all across the country line do math Dent favorite song to method is my favorite song except for the part about murdering pregnant women not cool with that not cool with that
super saiyan elite super Sony on my feet is what you like to smoke when you have got to fight a bully at your school or house smoke that we do go judge house and get something Crest a sandwich for him to eat and then I’ll drive back to your house with a Christian lives in a mouse with his friends
now Brandon’s going to take it like milk from a cow or he’s going to squeeze the letters and make you all shutter Brandon Johnson in the house now Mike milk milk where she is now I’m a fucking Queen so hard knock off the crown a fuck your mama’s butt dick is causing that drama looking me or your mom
what’s that we say Ludwig holy always looking what the kids Just Dance
and fuck you like someone sitting on the fence and back to Eugene
I can’t believe you get to say that Edward I can’t believe you get to say that Edward
I’m going to use that as an excuse my my run
niggling do nope nope nope nope nope
alright well right about now we’re not going to try to follow that we’re going to leave this world like a cat of a hat we’ve gotten credit Johnson’s Rhymes leave his group has gotten that’s not a word it’s been a good show it hasn’t been a turd if it did seem like it. It has some healthy peanuts in it and those where are words we spoke from the heart we throw from the head I fucked your mama it’s okay. The bread reverse mitis I make shit less valuable
new Madison yo new Manson was had its moments yo Zach McKeever was on Beach and he also does all the audio Treats but not just treats she does all the foundation’s everything through here is due to his act like he was Nation
crispr rough is the man that directs the show he looks through his eyes and so you go if you are immersed it’s due to his talent yo Allan Havey
Sarah Hill
Sarah Hill. He’ll go up the hill come down again
she’s not just Chris Brown’s girlfriend
not fair to her she does a lot of work to keep the show together she comes up with the titles she gives them to me at a list and that makes me entitled to pick one of them and then I say I choose that one and then she also are gay and
now we got to leave me tonight. Thank you as well this is Ben Harmon time take you to rob you
that you’re having me watched do you want to see a dead body on YouTube Red I’ve been branded
I’ll see you next time goodnight
he sued

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