Episode
Episode: 271 – Orphan Don’t Even Have No Internet
Description
It’s Christmas, and this show has something for everyone! Our traditional holiday events include: The return of DeMorge Brown, Dan and Brandon discussing net neutrality, Josh Androsky stopping in again to play some games, and Spencer studying for his h…
Transcript
play downtown harmontown we bring you this very special Christmas edition of harmontown how many surprise special guests could not be with this so much love to you I’m a little stoned right now but my name is Brandon Johnson watch out for the bees I’ll be dropping those all-night Spencer Crittenden
yes Make Some Noise if you’re at home right now stand up and clap you ain’t doing nothing you’re at home right now you might as well stand up and cheer yourself up please keep clapping for the mayor of harmontown Mr Dan Harmon
I thought your mama in the gap between the two I put my dick in her mouth like I said vomit if I took a championship I’m not I got out of there
I came back next year to go and give her a present she said the tears she said I left you milk I left your cookies why don’t you give me something better and I say cuz you’re naughty but you nice
you got head lice
check back next year
don’t ever fear
fascist takeover down your chimney a sack of guns so you’re getting so you better run if you live in Alabama they came for you first but you held the line the equation Democratic leaders jokes thank you black women forget black been 94%. Good enough strong you finish strong this is our Christmas special it’s going to be a really really big special show I mean I just threw out the notion leaving the stage yesterday like maybe you’ll be nice if we really Christmas stuff to stage and liquid Crystal Rafael who gets credit everybody Sarah Churchill I like like like quarterback to this I believe Chris was probably like that
offensive lineman someone’s moving or is that also bake those delicious chocolate chip cookies two types vegan and gutsy
I mean
come on snacks like this set out I wouldn’t be surprised if we had a few special guests drop by for a nibble yeah I mean I wouldn’t get our hopes too you know it’s not a gal gadot’s coming but it’s special because we’re doing a show next week right cuz it’ll be like Christmas Eve math right so you should spend time with your family and or activist group or whatever your new family year year year of your people even if you have to find him at random in some chat room find find a family I don’t want I don’t want to work and shame you family doesn’t mean parents will do nothing or go back
net neutrality has been revealed which means that I’ll have some special where I only get Netflix and like four people tracker monitor the outside of my house poor people will also have like a poor version of Netflix where they can down thinking stream like I don’t know movies that don’t have like to try on for the mess those will be put in a special Fastlane for rich people and then poor people also have like FaceTime like if they’re at work and they want to check on their kids in the re-education camps poor people will get all the movies that rich people get just no endings I really feel that net neutrality is net neutrality thing even though we don’t know
what it is a lot of us I understand it’s like it’s like when I was a kid when people talk about Nicaragua like all you knew was that something bad was happening you didn’t want to do the research it was hard net neutrality is like it may as well be the name of some crazy Nation or we don’t know what’s going on but but but I mean I think he probably figured it out by now God knows all the people that supported it I could see on Twitter we had this massive Rush of a week where they having just now started asking each other what it was yeah cuz all they knew is that they in their opinion the bad guys liked it and now it’s time to repeal it like someone got to these people and said it was like Obama tragedy or something yeah and so and so you can see them all looking it up and going huh that and I like like like like they’re big insults were like like I just like to see some of these people explain this shit dinner complaining it’s like nice try on your homework for you you suck
who brought us ATMs now in the charges for AT&T the agency that we created because we once thought the radio waves might run out the stuck around because once you create a government agency you just don’t get rid of it you never have a meeting to go we’ll need no ATF anymore what are we doing wheel of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms and if you’re the FCC you just hang around and now yeah we so we started using them to at least enforce the concept of neutrality during which which is Thomas Jefferson said about freedom of speech when I think he was one of the people that was like maybe we shouldn’t put this in this document because then it becomes a legal matter and free speech is going to only get less free of lawyers start arguing about it but anyways we put you know the FCC in charge here’s your job and say there’s net neutrality that’s your new job you know what you don’t have to care if there’s tits or F words anymore you can just stand there and say there needs to be a net neutrality
okay and so now we had them stop standing there and now they’re happy because now you can now it’s just the internet is no less is now private property all of us are trespassing on it like we’re all going to be traveling at speeds that are able to be throttled by the monopolies the control your access to the internet probably my audience is it is not only aware of this but actually very annoyed with my ignorance of it we talked about it in the past and you also railed against the the marketing flaw of the name neutrality and you brought up the ultimate suggestion that should have been and maybe would have swung everything suggestion that they should change the name to I think but fun
find a more positive name the net neutrality but for my to work it’s not as if there wasn’t a chance for the Democratic will of the people to be known it was absolutely known registered measured it was there that the country did not want this only some Rubes who fought for a pro for a busy work week because they only read Nazis zeins thought that maybe it had that they didn’t want it they’ll vast vast majority of everybody even the people who only could bother to care a little better like yeah that sounds like a dumb thing to lose and I don’t give a fuk it’s like we are definitely at this point and I think there’s one step left which is this horrible Christmas rumor which is that what is just rumor that I retweeted this because
prayer that for the Saturday night Massacre part 2 which is the rumor that Trump is going to fire Mueller over Christmas yeah I know but yeah I hear you I’ve heard that rumor about black people in Alabama for the odds on this and what did you do whatever and like that I retweeted which is like you RSVP to a thing that says they could text you and it would sell it within 24 hours of Miller getting fired we’re all going to flood the streets that are if you shaking your head
has a bad plan I suggest we all light a cigarette and take it up the butt one more time not to take it up the butt is a bad thing only if it’s against your choice if he fires Mueller you think we should get used to it if if our father who left their mother comes back drunk on Easter I’m going to celebrate know we know where we are that motherfuking all of us that’s how it is we are a such a rule of law that would be it’s about still do it’s a rule that he will have to break if he wants to know he has permission to break all the rules forever I mean I know we’ve all had a lot of final lines drawn in our personal sayings and things but
I mean this is the second fucking guy that’s an independent person that’s ever try to hold it it just bring this investigation into the goddamn station any President should be absolutely willing to watch it play out and it’s it’s obscenely almost funny how Little Falls can be found with this particular guy and if if he if he thought that this if this autocrat fires him over Christmas break that is him saying I would look like a kid like taking his dick out and putting it in his mother’s face at all over Christmas like while companies over so what’s the mom’s supposed to do like that your advice is to say is that you just suck on it a little bit maybe I’ll fall asleep
first of all that’s not what my mother did she sent me to my room was bad before you brought him to the Christmas table and now you going to reprimand in front of us and star all fucking Chris why are you so fatalistic now you’re always the uplifting guy you’re the I’m still uplifted but I’m like this
does the privilege thing right this is like a welcome to the party white boy saying I’m just telling you that we don’t have a life
the militia people to do something but they’re not there on his side so as liberals if they if they do something else to us this early but let’s be honest we don’t have the votes to impeach we’re just now getting Congress back we can’t really fucked with this dude out on that level I mean I mean like the women’s March did accomplish some things are what it didn’t accomplish anything in writing it didn’t accomplish any legislation it was a the sheer numbers the fact that people’s arms were rubbing up against glass and plaster and end and no one was fighting in the streets were clogged in every major city because he fucked with women and women’s rights and then it was just like 4 and then since then it’s been like let’s try that again and I got to pick up my kids but you know this is
this is the this is the other thing I mean like this is the thing where you want your numbers to count where you go where you want somebody to know I would almost say for what is the car’s system cuz I like the idea that the news item that ends up back on Fox News where he can see it says you know it by the way 90 million Americans say that this is fucking it they can’t handle it anymore and they’re going to actually walk out of their house not show up at their job and they’re going to go down to City Hall and stand there and piss in the bucket until something changes but I don’t think that that that this is it because I don’t have that we start the numbers but this is the guy in charge of the investigation is that absolutely it is I mean in some weird Universe which if we’re if we if we’re people that observes Law & Order we have to acknowledge like it’s there some weird Universe where where they got you know what this is all clean all fine he’s perfect
we looked through his tax returns we looked through his connections as financial information on the four years leading up to this whole thing you know what there’s no hanky-panky going on this is just fine then there’s going to be a fucking thing and if and if this investigation doesn’t reach its conclusion what are we doing then what what are you so excited to get on with it what is it then we’re just defeated and hang out and just like yeah I think they stole it from us they got it right now while we have our streets we have each other we have ACLU we have planned parenthood we have these Grassroots things at the political thing I don’t think we have I honestly don’t know how we’re going to come back from him firing Mueller because I don’t know what we can do that’s not that’s not what we do it’s just going to be like a we just got to be there has to be enough of us and we got to go like this
start so we kind of are not the first people to take up arms and it’s kind of hard to get motivated to fight them on that level I can find them on the we need to have some food drives I can find them on the raise funds for a family that gets burned out in the California fires when they start doing crazy upper-level government stuff that’s not that’s not where we me personally I can’t really talk with him on that level I’m like you guys just got away with a heist and I honestly can’t even correct that Heist honestly if they were like we’re raising interest rates well I’m going to be Pete they got my number and here’s the thing that I want to see what these marshes because you asked what did the women’s March do and I think that these shows a force whenever we show up in large numbers and let people know next time they’ll be more of us will be more of us will be more of us and we also get to look at each other and say I’m with you I got your back and with you so it works all right but when those marches wind up in the places where people are disenfranchised
then I’ll know that we’re not playing around like when you do a women’s March that actually whines up going to the Women’s Center in downtown LA and maybe helping out those bodies those thousands of people show up week after week to keep those infrastructure up then I’ll be like okay we we we are doing considered we’re in trouble reacting interest and a positive way when did when they take the March all the way to Compton instead of stopping it in the richest part of the city which is Downtown LA when they marched all the way to Compton and they spend money in those stores but they they look around and they clean up those buildings they pick up some trash then I’ll be like okay one hour
the shop down there but there’s the point is like we’re still talking shit so on this one week we can really draw a line in the sand cuz we don’t that’s not how we even operate find Brandon. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be outraged it’s just really what are you what are we supposed to do all fly to Washington DC when this happens and we should all I want to do that but yeah we all have that money I’ll have that money does can and hopefully that’s you know enough people to raise money for poor people are now we’re going to throw ourselves violently at the walls of the white house until our bodies have to be removed from the capital of maybe going to them take ourselves away from the internet
we can we maybe tell these mother fuckers will we expect it to be so they give a shit like hybrid cars like solar panels can we teach industry how to listen to us when we say we don’t want to throttle why are we even using our government to talk to his mother fuckers when quite honestly is consumer can’t we just tell them we don’t want that shit though their Monopoly have never worded Monopoly special when we take a couple months off and hit their bottom line all right that’s way faster than Congress and that’s what they respond to they stop making Clear Pepsi
I think they I think I think they waited they they they would clear Pepsi didn’t successfully wait 30 years so that everyone that needed to send out their resume get memos from their boss coordinate with their babysitter get in touch with their family let everyone know what they’re doing had to use Clear Pepsi you don’t like they waited till the right time and I think I would do it we shut Blockbuster down DVDs came out what do you mean DVDs came out because it was renting to us when we were all surrounded we were going to Blockbuster like it was a thing the whole family right and then Blockbuster was like we can just hit you for fees we don’t even care if you keep the movie Rent the movie whatever we’re going to eat you for fees and then States came out and said no fees are the are the duty of the state that’s the only thing that’s only recourse we have a private entity can’t collect fees or they were all fucked but I was before my time
I think it was Redbox like 8 that’s what a facilitated Netflix for the fucker came along and was like Hey you ain’t got to pay fees you can keep the DVD really don’t care we want a subscription service so I’m like we have taught corporations and industries how we want to be treated and if they need to learn it again on this net neutrality thing that’s just the deal that’s the deal when they put chitty TV on we stopped watching and we went up to the Internet and if they fuck the internet up will I don’t know maybe we’ll go back to hanging out with each other and read books or shit but overall they will learn from us how we’re about to get treated
all right so false alarm I came up but said to be fine cuz when when we finally get mistreated enough we’re going to show him what’s up by going to the Women’s Center I don’t think anything bad will happen when it comes out officially that it turns out you can rig an election without consequence I think going forward it’ll all be fine out of New York
that’s a possibility we can do a lot of damage that want them being good for ourselves you know where in California we’re going to be fine no matter what that’s the thing it’s not about like our specific Comfort I don’t think hopefully I mean even without that I can afford to pay for a fast lane you know but that’s not what’s at stake for the bigger picture right California’s already art we’ve already started to sue like immediately and if is 10 other states is 11 total 11 states of already pushed back and said you’re not going to be able to do this so while it is terrifying it’s not fair we do we we stand a good chance of getting our way in this deal if we fight a Citizens we keep trying to legislate our way out of these battles it’s going to get rough hey team is traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss go in a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss
meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, no limits is that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little t and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like ever you’re always in good hands adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platform
next showing up to a thing where you sit cross-legged in the street until they may see you and drag you away and use your body to gum up the works of is that that’s not legislation that’s what I’m talking about these moments where and I understand what you’re saying I mean you’re basically saying like all the people that have lines in the sand that have to do with win and ideologies has been transgressed they don’t give a fuck about the people that live Twenty Yards from them and they don’t give a fuck about what’s going on in and in their real life and they could they could be like Jim Carrey and yes man and start digit changing their live completely in disrupting everything that is in their comfort zone and all of that is true but there’s it’s also really easy to get like 50 million people to just be like open their windows and say I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore and sometimes that needs to happen as well certainly but let’s fight and economic battle with ich
Comics I think that definitely we need to Avail ourselves more of like boycotting bass tactics than we have been because that’s very powerful of people seeing you for the bed for the Battleground does PetSmart have no fucking legal recourse net neutrality is now going to be a financial game it’s going to be about boycotts and all this shit but it it it Trump firing Mueller is like it’s it’s it’s the fucking it’s a real it’s a home invasion of everyone’s home from one guy who’s saying I don’t want checks and balances I don’t want three branches I don’t want any any of the Constitution to apply to me I want to be an autocrat say nothing if that’s fine and and by the way just drink your egg. Because I’m going to do it on the fucking 22nd of December while everyone’s gone like if he does that and everyone just hangs out I’m not going to take that as a sign that we’re going to hell
local YMCA or anything like I don’t think I’m going to take that as a sign that we’ve given up and so is that him and whatever the fuck he’s representing whatever evil cloud is in his food is guiding him with his up the power of Mordor like like we we have to it’s the one thing we’ve been waiting for us just like we you just would you submit to Due Process will you let us Frisk you see what you won’t let you won’t fucking slick submit lately just say I’m a crooked person I’m a criminal I like I have my fingers and dirty pies and then say but I’m a businessman or whatever it defended he’s been lying and fucking putting off for so long and Trenton in like I just I like wait wait wait wait wait wait centerpiece retirement circles and maybe how we should fight it and I recognize which battle I and I alone and all of you
yeah I rsvp’d to that stupid thing and I’m sure they text me they got he just fired Miller I’m going to go like I’m I’m not going to I’m not going down there with a with a bat or anything I’m going to go I’m just going to go down there and eat some spaghetti that I bring in a thermos and and then I don’t know what to do until I die I don’t want to make plans for after that day
I can’t do this I know I know but we got this we still got this we got this we got this. This we got this was the visit from social is Santa Claus he’s a socialist and his here
Santa hello I gave my heart to someone with a cold can you have Corey and I are you going to take my side a little bit a little bit
it doesn’t sound like it so I think there’s another side I think a third size occurred since I think there’s only two so I think there’s a side that it doesn’t matter that the investigation trying to pin Trump on a technicality right is what the Democrats wanted you more than anything because then you look at it and you go haha I got them and now he has to resign because I got them and what Trump does is he goes no you didn’t get me and and legally speaking right like no you didn’t get me that does not hold up in court but when the only recourse is like being impeached by the Republicans that control Congress know you didn’t get me kind of winds right if he refuses to acknowledge the technicality is it a technicality to
say hey Russia do you want to have a conference about reading this election and then Russia says here’s some day that you can use to rig the selection we do it all the time okay so then those countries that we do that with was to have every right to engage Us in the court of law what that is is against the law and in theory that’s not a technicality that’s just the lobbying executed what what presidential candidate before this moment in history has ever been caught red-handed actually conspiring with the intelligence of dirt during an election the intelligence from a foreign hostile foreign power in order to beat their domestic enemy in an election of Kissinger and Nixon during the Vietnam war of the two of them Kissinger I believe was working for Johnson at the time and Nixon was a candidate and they look like there was going to be peace in Vietnam they were
sign a piece of cord where would be like if a Vietnam that war is going to be done and then Nixon and Kissinger kind of pulled a little fast one and caused a whoopsie in Vietnam that made the war keep going because Nixon knew that he’d win if his opponent didn’t stop the war so the war was good for his campaign and it came out in papers later and then you know cuz Nixon fucking taped everything they came out papers later because Nixon fucking taped everything that’s the thing we didn’t get away with it because we didn’t get caught because he turn himself in
so when they came to bush with dirt he went to the FBI with voter suppression and that kind of shit taken such a wide scope in order to be like specific if we sit up here and read a book about from Noam Chomsky about how how were the America is the foremost enemy of democracy across as that I have no argument with that but but that this is a politician who is basically openly making a play to change the margins Evermore of of politics and what’s allowed include when you are running for president in our country it’s okay to engage in treasonous Behavior as because the end justifies the means and once you’re in the Oval Office then you
play I don’t give a shit and it’ll it’ll go and you guys be your argument is basically America’s poopy and and it’s kind of happened before with our most horrible president during our most horrible times in history has therefore let’s I feel like once we fucked up we fucked up that’s the situation but that’s that’s that’s all of our election systems if you’ve comes out you were the result isn’t that the the runner-up has been installed results that someone gets a punitive action and then it does courts are those districts or something changes structurally generally that’s what you can do if he has to say no I didn’t do that while we hold up an x-ray of him doing that and then send it still doesn’t get him thrown in jail or replaced with a with an Amazon drone for president
still important unimportant part of the process to go Mikey did you give us a photo of you taking a shit in the living room and let the little piece of shit say no it’s not so that everything goes on the bulletin boards at Emagine black justifying not being invested in in in the in this moment I understand the argument that if you guys were to say this is a circus that’s directing your attention and energy away from something else I think it’s it’s a distraction that is real important outcome would be right like a potential investigation but I know this is an opinion that I don’t think is going to be very popular but I feel like if there’s going to be a Republican president better fucking beat Donald Trump because to me I look at Donald Trump and I see ninety-two 95% of what any Republican would do five to 10%
like rancid been whipped cheese filling or whatever that he brings to the table but fundamentally he’s such a gross ogre that all of the normal Republican things that he does people are like oh this sucks and he’s back is because he’s making an open play for a shift toward to something called autocracy instead of where we’ve been mired in a sort of openly hypocritical illusory form of checks and balances I mean the guys that have occupied his position may be there autocrat in bureaucratic clothing but they’re not actually just standing up in front of Boy Scout rallies and saying I wish there was less people in Congress so I could fuck more girls like like he is a third world leader who is risen through a fascist movement that has been packed has been provoked and made possible through like an Insidious means and I’m not one of these people that goes oh because if
Russian Trump tweets a meme that says Pepe the Frog sings Hillary’s a kind that the end and then we win the election I was at that means they hack the election that means we’re stupid we deserve what we get but this guy knew about it and played ball with it and thought it was funny and thought that it was what he deserved because he’s a sociopath and a 90 IQ fucking horrible monster just like the president’s the people get in the countries where we so successfully suppressed democracy did you end up with a fucking animal Leading the People and it’s hypocritical of me to the point where my voice is changed but I don’t want to live in a country of the kind of which we create all around the planet where you said that there was sort of autocrat in bureaucrats clothing or the plain face autocrat and my question to you is which one is better seeing your enemy for who they really are or letting them hide and get away with it
why is it better where you can see the wolf or the wolf but we’re talking about a coup here we’re talking about we’re talking about people saying would it be okay America now that you’re good and fat and scared and stupid an armed to the teeth and xenophobic and unemployed and fucking confused and have all have iPhones in your pockets would it be okay everyone now that most of you think that New Year’s Eve is is it means that America Two thousand years old this way to find out how fucking stupid we all are would it be okay with you guys as long as I am fearful and sad if we just shift towards the open-faced version of the clothes Bay sandwich we were already is that okay with everybody and you’re saying yes it is because because it’s like you knew the shit sandwich was already shit but that doesn’t mean the guy saying is it cool if I just start calling it rape while I right
like saying yes doesn’t mean you’re protecting people it doesn’t mean that you’re you your value system is better just means that you the cynicism is eating away at you unless there’s like an alternative plan which I know that you guys are I think you guys are street-level think that your act locally kind of lines that are like you’re more right than me I know you are but but because it we should basically if I took the do you know that the collective of what you two are saying I would you know it’s like lift stop even glancing at People magazine when we check out with the grocery store maybe let’s try to grow our own food it’s definitely not going on the internet tell people that when I get in touch with you that they can put a duct tape on your driveway and you’ll come down there and leave a potted plant on a tortoise and I did that one time and you won’t be
thirdly that’s not right characterizing you guys as being luddites and then backwards and main effect on his lovers about like like like like how do you unplug from the fucking system when it’s so pervasive that the solution to unclog from the system and truly look at the world around you and start acting and then and let the example that you live with your life start inspiring people to do the same and there will probably fire will catch you know if it’s if it’s your life happy and effectively until doomsday happened and if it but if it is worth catching it’s a catch by youth signing into a moveon.org on rsvp’ing to a thing that text you when it’s convenient to did drop off the kids and show up for a senate race start a business thing for protest
8 in clay babe Nationwide within 24-hour rapid response however symbolic to this event that the attempt on the enemies part is to just to let it happen and end your year year year did nothing it’s not invisible it just happens and nothing happens because you can’t do anything and we just we just we’re just boarding our loins because we at least want to say called it we called this like don’t fucking do it they admit it’s important at least just to take that posture just stand over that plate of cookies and look at that little sociopath with a chocolate all over his face in a dog’s leg in his back pocket and go I’m watching you Toby I’m not your parent but of your fucking mom shouldn’t have brought you here I do you watch too much television
I think multiple choices that you you bring up a good point like that desire the intense desire to be like your fucking wrong everybody knows you’re wrong you’re a fucking asshole and and I hate you and everybody deserves to watch you fucking your pants fall down around your ankles and you to trip and fall off a bridge we all want to see that but my thing is like let’s look at Power let’s look at materially how these things affect us if Trump is forced to resign and Mike Pence becomes president materially Our Lives aren’t going to be that much different now we’re not going to be bombarded by psychic hatred and grow test awfulness from the news all the time because my pet sounds really really nice positions that are worse than Trump’s from as far as his actual belief of his own religious zealotry like leads to some really crazy shit and you saw like an AIDS break out in Indiana which makes no sense because nobody fucks there and
they got just how bad of a governor who was what can where can we were only strong when we come together right we’re only starting to come together Collective power like any of us individually can’t do shit that’s like the the net neutrality thing right and I also disagree I don’t think we can do just like boycotts are like economically based we need to look at how power is leveraged and how we coming together I think the women’s March has really good because it a lot of bunch of people to come together and go hey you want to fight for this I want to fight for this let’s like get to know each other and figure this out till the next time there’s a mass movement there are demands that we all agree on that they raised some money that day for like any female charity I might be super impressed
I’m impressed by its all showing up but I’m getting real tired of us trying to buy our way out of the shit by sending somebody to a broken ass Congress or to a broken political system we know God damn well that if we had sent spent five bucks on the motherfuking next to us we wouldn’t be in this situation that is at the end of the day the thing that you can do you get as mad as you want to about court systems in Congress in the political sphere and the president in the fact that third party voted the bit and the Republicans did that where you can actually reach down make sure the motherfuker within Foods right in front of you is eating how we done that in the first place we wouldn’t be victims but now they trying to scare us every week they come out with I’m moving this to Jerusalem I’m doing this shit they don’t have to sit there telling us they going to do when they got too scared you don’t scare me by telling me about to pull cord on my motherfuking internet you scare me when you’re at my front door I think they will be at our front door soon so when I look at all this internet
you are joking that were upset about it FBI Russia motherfuker they kill him or black dudes every fucking month this year you talk to me about Russia llamo Cristina to get one white dude and you killing black people innocently and I’m supposed to be upset about Mueller I know what’s coming I know exactly what the fuck is coming and it’s not going to be internet neutrality shit it’s not going to be FBI shit the fuck up so when I look at the big picture I don’t care who y’all got in the white house if you don’t pull the boot off my neck and my voice just cracked his back plus we’re all wearing ridiculous things
there’s a clip of you with the reader motherfuker tell me what
I don’t I don’t see I’m not going to feel like I diminish what you just said by saying I did it all of it I I I I I get that I don’t get it when you talk like that gets it that there is a bigger picture here from the very beginning like you know the day after the election you know a huge part of the wallpaper in this redecorated room was you know okay white people who have never complained about anything except for maybe the SpongeBob movie was it you had to had that did you know
find out if very very distant power and film has high heels and sequins and she’s everywhere how can you walk in heels like a purpose okay to make your ass look better for me and that’s it you can’t tell me that you’re here by yourself when you’re running around in those heels Let It Go Let It Go girls put on some sensible Uggs that I can really get turned on by maybe sometime the right so so so God damn it what did I do that was it was always about like you know we joked about it and it was like basically the general that you like joking way to put it was like you know what we’re on the bench at this point but you like you speaking on behalf of black people like like your turn like let’s see what year
if you’re really that upset about this and that what you going to do and it’s been a year we don’t do a lot
where is the right word unit we got we got it we got our shorts on and it’s like are you can see the tan lines broke for a while because we’ve never wear shorts and then we’re like we’re like we’re we’re obsessed with things like whistles and like we do we don’t wait wait wait we’re trying to get the referee to the last matches that when we haven’t played in a really long time we’ve been on the bench for a while and that’s true it’s hard to mobile or whatever the version of the benches the Box the fucking box where you run the game yoga is it us stretch and getting ready for the race war and it’s just like constantly were just stretching really we’re going to get we’re going to be in the right of physical stature you know by the drones perhaps we could expand on my unfortunate professional sports metaphor words for ethnic demographics by bringing up our ghost of Christmas piano on the roof I hear strange mysterious
clicking noise and tappings could it be dumor horse bro
what was a Christmas episode he was making the clicking in Tampa
oh yeah I know it’s brown good to see you man I haven’t seen you in a long time so distinguished like that with the red trousers the fish where have you been
I think we tell him what we told him where we went
looking for the fans
I just
a wart on a short film a long time ago was actually just came out and the preparation for it started right before the last time that I did the show and it’s probably about three and a half weeks worth of prep and then shooting the film took about a week two weeks how was it how was shooting yeah but Joey is over and it says it’s a short film it’s just came out this week in short of the week and it’s on nobody to Kentucky Rally’s is no bugs., that kind of stuff so that will check it out then I just wanted to get offended but it was like I mean that starting a run or just removed
you were like well what’s your temperature in your house for 3 weeks you’re like dude I definitely be like that yeah I guess the last guest was somebody who was incredibly important to me and my wife it was a hot Chase Norman Lear it was earlier that was the last gasp
and I wanted desperately to be called up to ask to talk to him even say that or asking questions or something like that and I didn’t and I was at I didn’t get called himself the very end if he is just left who was it was normal or I got to hang out earlier looks like Devastators I was just like you just warmed him and he kind of just deflected it but you wouldn’t Jedi sensibilities and stuff in it was but it was really fun it was great to have had some sort of the high note of that year but you were it was it was it was a wound to you that I didn’t call you up or know it was just it was just disappointed I didn’t get upset but if that’s not up to you that’s not the correct way to write you you after that you were like well know if if in the best-case scenario like I might not even if it’s just weird because
thinks he said when you first when you first brought about an interview him that echoed things I said in the first time I’ve ever been on harmontown about like the fact that we don’t teach Civics in the consequences of that are going to take us in the fucking but I’m sure not we got to October and and we got kicked in the butt because people thought that this boat was a rubber room and you know they could go Stick it to you but not voting for you and then from Court yeah but it wasn’t it wasn’t like that was just like it was just afraid of the day that was all I thought it was a highlight of my year really to have been anywhere around that guy just
Norman their stuff called up to be on the show so if in the event of my one of my heroes being on the show if it’s possible for me to be stuck in a Greener of the bed sheets that guy feels too and he and there was so much to say earlier
I like that I echoed some of your thoughts that I take that as a compliment yeah yeah it was it was important that it was an accusation of biting biting your moves you say you’re at your ear at you like that I put in the court will decide all right well nothing crazy that’s supposed to just working my ass off and really where were you what did I do wrong and it’s like the answers never let you know it never satisfies my narcissistic lake map of the universe like it’s some reason of your own but this was an especially long absence so does that supposed to be an actor and to write dress up and imma just like trying to smack feel my year to me you know me I just saw it on my Europe as much as I can with as much stuff as I can. I’ve been working with
a director because I said so I can’t say a whole bunch of it as a director his next film is coming out he won an Oscar and this is his next to him and it was just sort of like work at Ratner a friend singer Susan badia you know what it was but it was just like several times over the course of that you do to try and get his next thing in the shape of the computer but she did and then the next thing was like I had that I ended up working I think of the dress at the dress up games on TBS and that took a big chunk of time and so that’s just really try I’m worn out right now to end of the year like physically worn out this year we refit basically can eat from
the Rudolph of the Hermantown sleigh mr. rob a crazy ride
scrubs 970 first appearance on harmontown
Cummins
you’ll remind him
old man walking old man walking
crazy how are you hello Daniel absence
100 L just been kind of hanging out watching a lot of
Television spend some quality time with my dog been eating eating a lot of carbs white rice chips plain plain white rice
plain white rice and
soda
Mitsubishi that is not crazy how do you make rice Rob is that crazy I order it from Eat24 you should really get it for me that’s what I don’t know or eats 24 gets it from maybe they get it from Asia no you can’t have any and I didn’t want to I just thought maybe Farms factory farm where the rice is forced to self masturbate Humane rice Farms it’s literally human rice Farms saved your shit brother States and cruelty
Robert how do you think the black voters did in Alabama I think I think you know something I think they did a really good job so brave a fantastic job that was a lie we dealing with it but it’s just a lot of voter black voter talk all over all the podcasts and then all of the analysis which is really interesting the bad guys are the conspiracy theories about buses of of people and then they’ve been in the outlands but what was your opinion of any specific like about the coverage that you heard in the after the Alabama elections like in terms of people like I don’t know
the story like was there anything offensive about it or is it all like I was listening to pod save America and listening to their their facts and figures I just such a fascinating election cuz it’s like you you couldn’t have had any prediction about it that wouldn’t if you if you predicted that there was going to be a measurable Victory on either side then you would have been shocked by the fact that it was like sucking ping pong ball on top of the net yeah if you predicted ping pong ball on top of the net how does it feel to be that right I mean look at the person that was sent before that I mean that you had in the first Obama election he steadily gained ground game momentum demonstrated impact control Grace
even in her weird pretentious sort of giving up of the other nomination and then you get you get to this Dismount that the Republicans said they had the election and they did where they had they were they revealed their vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin and gave her a week to completely fuk that up where I can see Russia Tetris Tetris hetrick and then and
the economy fell apart and that can only be blamed on the administration before it and he’s still barely if you look at those numbers barely barely barely won that election and then after four years where they didn’t do anything else really to up and what the Democrats is set in motion he’s still
you know I mean Rami really had to lose that last debate
for the number to kind of switch around the way they did at the end of that that second election but that was all dependent on Rodney fully screwing up so going into this one and they’re Andrew and it’s a home court and you’re just you’re in Alabama so how could that not be a ball on the net through victory will you just standing there when he was actually like that Victory is like a huge like come-from-behind like Landslide like mobilization effort for the for the last I didn’t see it as a come from behind I mean we knew everybody was fighting for one thing in motion but but the establishment they were fighting against was solid with brick solid and was there and there was there’s no way that was going to be a blowout that was going to be as close as it was weird it was all execution of pain and everybody is over-the-moon happy with what happened
we’ve already been familiar with the Moor and the Jones race now for 8 months a year like on all your black female friends over 50 on Facebook in the states that you’re not even in they were like you getting out the conversation conversations been had people were mobilizing you know months ago so you just got to it we already been like we were voting to save what little we have the only set of numbers that meant anything to me where the fee for the actual percentage poles ever taken on key issues as voted by black women which would you look at it was sort of like there’s no way they’re having any of this bullshit there was no equivocating on that that was all 97% 9 7% 947 % no yes no yes or no skank is the middle of nowhere where there’s like one guy is like I want to fuck girls little girls and then like the other side is like bouncing off of his pedophile armor
and I’m just like watching it going I call this is strategic for us this will eventually inconvenience how much I wipe my ass with dollar bills or and then and then there’s like to take the elves in Lord of the Rings black voters come over the hill and like and because of that we won we beat a sex offender by 1% it’s like a scary moment do anything for the Alabama black families I am just going to take some wild guesses he really don’t think your elves their garbage doesn’t get taken out very quickly that there that there’s probably environmental whatever we don’t use the cross section of where we are right now which is to say that
in stasis these numbers are daunting but in actuality if you if you if you can decide this thing we are
moving in the right direction there’s no gradient that’s going to do that that’s not predictive so you kind of have to trust that that’s where it’s going
rednecks
at a rate that is commensurate with the way they were reading them you know true and in the 1970s that a regular they regulated the redneck breeding companies and now they all got to be free range and your pay for all those opiates and you guys know I don’t see your race when I talk to you right I don’t think that your spokesman for of America
baby we don’t work for you I think about that I’m going to agree with a reindeer on my love by 4% to show up that’s pretty that’s pretty damn impressive Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer dude hell yeah I can only run the simulator in my head where if I was part of a group that when I was like yeah so it’s pretty crazy be like a fucking like it’s like I’m voting for more peanuts in my shit because technically that’s nutrition like yeah alright well we can we can drop all that behind us. It’s the Excel and I’m talking about the stuff I just wanted to Mark the the history of it Spencer how are you doing are you I don’t don’t take my queue
are you doing sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt your ear like telling you that I was bored with no no no I accidentally released you for texting during the podcast and I feel properly policed and I’m never going to put you guys doing I’m doing okay to the Apple Store, yeah you had to get my iPad fixed because I went to get a 4-Hour deep clean at the dentist and talk to me about privilege listen to wear our white what’s that look what’s that like a for what’s a 4-Hour deep cleaning I feel like it’s a scam like the more I think the more you know what you need is for hours of Dentistry to they do it in
what are they doing to your teeth for Forza laser they put each of them in a hyperbaric chamber each to the available like one side of down to the other side of town dental tools there so I can try him there in my mouth I asked your teeth hurting with the upper left
4 hours I asked about 1%
I read everything I put I put a Brian Eno song For Those 45 minutes long on my iPad until the point where is that iPad fell down and the plug that it was a little lightning cable snapped off inside the charging hole for the iPad rendering unchargeables dad he really couldn’t we were at a place that has the smallest tools in the world couldn’t listen to your Brian Eno but only for a limited time to talk to me about privilege 404 4 hours Brian Eno motherfuker I asked her what she was doing at 412 like an answer your question because there was a
now there was smoke and a smell the laser El laser piled up in like 15 or filth is part of my teeth so they they had to like sandblasted and like take fishing hooks and scrape all of the fucking Brown why did you do that that there was that there was a there was that species and fucking amoeba in there they they discovered I’d I guess I’m going to make like 50 Grand off of that at MIT or something I dare say they named it after me there was like a horseshoe crab they found there was that they they actually found evidence that the during the Industrial Revolution facts about the distance between
brush my teeth basically let’s be honest yeah how’s it feel ya feel good really Cody said you were going to brush your teeth did they get like McKnight later that night I’m like I just found out I can go 44 years do you do mouthwash or chew gum see your breath doesn’t smell like turd or As Trump would say do you mouthwash for gum do you know I don’t I I brush my teeth in the morning okay
great end of story is it would marry me if I got a shot in the eye with a laser on Friday at his dentist you get Lasik you get some Lasik I went to the physical therapist and they have a laser therapy by where they strap a laser onto a part of your body with lasers and the game we played in the 80s this strap was loose and it came loose and I saw it coming loose and I saw it in the sense that it came loose and shot a laser to my eye I realize I should look away and not look at it and then I fixed it but I was like I was so embarrassed to tell anyone it was like I was like
and like he’s definitely like when you look at the Sun or whatever and you get like a vision splotchy was like I was like no good I was like man this would be amazing if I have to get an eye patch from of this but I think I’ll be okay but it was bad it was like it was hurting for about two days just laser so what are they using talking about coming like a national laser measure the tissue but the thing is a medical laser is a stronger laser than normal lasers and it was in the the medical lasers that they use to affect your tissue are the exact radiator wavelength that’s the worst For Eyes you can have one whole guy yeah it’s going to be it’s going to turn green and see if it has to save its eyes baby what could lift a car
the I just I just don’t understand lasers to get your skin and then they’re like stimuli the tissue underneath it through my friend does cupping nothing but she goes then she shows you shows me her back or whatever and it just the Rings like Bruce if he’s bruised rings at work but I don’t want to be cyberbullied so question with. He’s just trying to leave a paper trail of the his crazy thing you talk to a girl and she got caught up so she had bruises all over
I filled a couple guys I just I don’t I didn’t understand I don’t understand that every day it’s supposed to talk sense to the surface of the skin right then I’ll see your lymphatic system kind of gets rid of them because radiation goes through most objects generally so I think it’s in a wavelength that is thin enough or wide enough to go through you to use and doing so it’s like a low rate with a microwave and so I think it just damages the muscles in the neck stimulate some enough to to regrow or whatever it’s supposed to be. Just with walking does. I think a lot of stuff does that strengthens your muscles
so you don’t need me to do lasers I mean it’s physical therapy I just want to know whether or not I should get lasers on my body or you can buy a laser machine for yourself for a couple thousand dollars to do it and I think you really really doubt hell yeah dude but you might go blind as anyone that the laser guy already so they won’t have that as their identity. Might I might ride out in the end be like in the Marvel Universe show in the real Universe Universal cup know I have seen any, what about those eggs
what about those porgs what about this Star Trek Quentin Tarantino movie everyone’s talking about hope there’s porgs in it, I heard of it did you know what a dog sits and does that thing with his hind legs moving weight when they lay on their belly and their legs together with their back leg up like a chicken nugget chicken and I like it and Corgis I like it corgis do it or is it just called engaging in this flute is it was relating to Blue in the movie
yeah I’m alright what was the last Star Wars movie and they going to keep making this is why I watch people I’m not I’m not in any I don’t judge it anything at all any I’m about to turn 45 and I’m just I find it fascinating with Star Wars has gotten this place where it’s just like this is crazy. Really popular
remember when it was just as cold thing that just a few of us like Star Wars when was the last time this happened
well I didn’t that’s not what I was saying
I was just talking about how it used to be it was just a cultural like seeing that just kind of had a monolithic face to it it was like it’s the Star Wars movies they come out every six years and they they’re kind of unquestionable and you can take and moan about whether you liked Empire Star Wars better at now now it’s just as crazy weird like Lego like Universe where there’s like one off sand and and guest directors and it’s all called Star Wars and it’s like amazing cuz it’s the thing I gave the most shit about ever and and I also have never seen a Transformers movie there’s like nine of those and I I really loved one I haven’t seen any Transformers movie ever you should do honestly is see the last Transformers movie that was the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever seen in my life I can’t wait for the last one
what is your what’s your last one was a mate like make it like every summer I do a thing where I just go see a bad movie a week because it’s Gemma Summers loaded with him and I usually go to the Highland theater just cuz of the families come and they go into the most responsive audience in the world and that last Transformers movie was crazy and then like right when we get to the point where are you talking about the lat what do you mean when you say the last time you think there’s one that just came out and there’s this summer the one that just came out of the time of the last Transformers movie just it just it’s just crazy there’s 9000 elements in it none of which had a full complete circle do like Meredith dealing and then they just kind of Mark these moments by
chaos chaos chaos and then Wahlberg comes in and says hi
and then do I cut it open while very long ago several years ago opens with it it opens With Merlin Merlin is riding a horse Merlin is riding a horse and he’s flaking hammered the horse and the Texas where do you stop the horse and he looks into the camera and says I’m settled and then he pulled a bottle out and drinks from it and then rides up in Evergreen Cliff to a cave in Ireland somewhere where there is an original Transformer crashed and injured me to break the fourth wall what you doing
riding down with a horse with no reason stops a horse and then you’re like why would you stop at Horace and that’s when he looks and goes I’m so old and then he pulled the trigger goes on but this goes on for the whole length of the movie and then there’s a there’s like a I mean is a cold open on the term but I guess I got clothes I got them at the end
need to go you can go to the podcast sick
is cry a little frazzled
why can sit next to me all right so note to self for Christian socialists Santa has brought some games yes some some some game plus Rob doesn’t like games that’s why it’s not that he doesn’t like Santa or socialism
you can come back whenever
they sell good when I was thinking of when I came up with these games is that we’re all going to be with our families and talk about politics and that’s going to suck and Lita bunch of arguments and so why don’t we turn it into a game okay people love games Jimmy Fallon loves games so let’s all be a little more like Jimmy Fallon this holiday season yeah and so I could get a jump on my New Year’s resolution I cook and drink a lot so that’s like well-known right anyway first game we’re going to play it is called pot strain or horrifying government operation code-named and the way this game is the way this game works is I’m going to name a good thing and it is either a pot strain or a possible War crime and you have to tell me the difference okay and so you can get bonus points if you’ve actually smoke to the weed in question
starter system or if you guess what the operation was about okay and here we go starting with number one Asian fantasy Asian fantasy how do we Buzz Inn or whatever I think you just did government incorrect it is a pot strain let’s do another one All American tiger
government operation that is correct it was to capture Saddam Hussein look alikes which that damn all American tiger totally makes sense because it was on the cover Tiger Beat drop them on Iraq and confuse everybody know it was to round up all his look-alikes in a rock to make sure that they weren’t him then that operation that we gave a fancy name to was just really operation his operation is working
crunch the contest with him another one let’s grab them and spend time on this I imagine that that that mission involves like a CIA guy going like with two to Saddam to the sounds like camping me I can’t be there real soon. I don’t know this is like a Washington Post reporter has two of them cornered in a hotel lobby and it’s like a mole on the inside of your place okay next one I don’t want any emails about my are rocky accent I think it was tasteful White Rhino definitely a weed of Smoketown bonus points that is only way we do it all even at 100%
are you try it but it’s only a charging at you to get a closer look
alright next one for Viking snatch and what do you think it was a bunch of Vikings must have been off the coast of an Island Navy Navy boats would go around the coast of Cuba and look for people trying to get away pick them up hypnotize them into thinking they were happy Cubans and drop them back off and activate them with a code phrase to assassinate Castro that is actually 100% correct. I think it was a white supremacist infiltration gear the closest it was it was wrapped up in smuggling by white supremacy because white supremacist think they’re fucking Vicodin love Vikings it’s absurd how many like guys that are look like a lowercase letter B to think that there a Viking
oh yeah I got all the same traits next one here we go with the last one Rolling Thunder that was a that was a government up right now and I think I remember smoking the government what was the rolling what was the government operation was both bitch and all capillaries so I have no idea what that yeah I have another game if you like to play fast and fun here we go all right this game is called secret Republican Rafe apologist or animal Topia here’s how this game works now that a reality TV host is President the politics of our nation’s most valuable resource
celebs is more important than ever because which one of them might run for president you know any one of them could run for president to wear wedding we are now wedding because if you are a secret Republican and did you run for Democratic office you’re going to get caught if your apologist you’re going to get taken down and if you are afraid of one specific animal you all are going to get roasted so we’re just trying to like clear the herd for 2020 shout out to Matt Damon Matt Damon all right so here we go again you have to tell me if they hide the fact that they’re in the GOP have publicly defended a rapist or have a deep-seated fear of a specific animal celebrity can I get like a little bit of like like guessing music maybe
this one’s going to be tough cuz I think we’ve also got defended Roco kind of stuff you know
man I used to have the soundtrack for The Price is Right it was so great driving around playing that Price is Right music if you like did something wrong and you heard right here we go
just when you thought it was safe to guess just when you thought it was safe to like a celebrity number one Adam Sandler
Adam Sandler a republican not sure if a circle is raped so I don’t think you’re right and I’d also like to guess the last one what is it the last one republican from the last he’s in the next Kristen Stewart
she’s got to have an animal phobia because everyone likes her that’s correct she’s afraid of horses Kristen Stewart’s afraid of Horses Don’t They could do whatever they want to anybody I mean I don’t know I was thinking Kristen Wiig and she shut down my show babe Island my old comedy show case to buy I had your back accidentally your next Whoopi Goldberg gay defensive back has be like way after and on The View like maybe the view isn’t the right place to talk about Bill Cosby I don’t think it was right that isn’t available to use a peek of using the place to apologize for a Bill Cosby was
I like to have that lined up I got two more let’s do it Katie Holmes apologist speaker Republic and we haven’t had a rape apologist yet so I’ll take Whoopi Goldberg
the correct answer is she’s afraid of raccoons it’s because they’ve got some he right they’ve got the little hands they look just like ours the rest of them don’t look like us to Koons in people with a distinct raccoon wound and wear on their face
those little suckers are like monkeys yet no conscience their monsters there is a monkey smoke cigarettes when you when you discover a raccoon when you come upon one they they they stare you down but I have things I can do to avoid the conflict raccoons are like for boys and then the two types of accounting records
Peter looks me and let me weapon because if you Google raccoon dog would like like like that it’s a situation I need a lockable doggie door because my dogs are prime to get a fucking face calling and I feel bad about that yeah I think the coyotes ate those raccoon so we scare him off of coyote Pee-Wee hunt coyote pee from the from the from the chimney with care this like you were freaked you’re like one of the only piss I don’t want to hang out.
all the time but this is gross we try to set up a Humane trap we got a Humane trap that like has like a weird door that like you go in and then it closes behind you put some food in that next morning the neighbor’s cat is in their fat fucker last question last one Ivanka Trump a Republican or a freight well she she’s a rape apologist she’s technically yes it is she don’t has she ever actually say see all three
yeah she’s a rape apologist and she’s afraid of Pokemon that’s all I know right so she’s only two
I got a game called the ham radio license exam practice test and he’s been ever since the day that we went in to it to the place next door to where it definitely did not take a lot of time to buy my gun and we’ve been trying to get Spencer a ham radio license. It’s really really hard and he may never get it because it’s not a gun if it was a gun this would be over with her for 2 months and Spencer is almost done maybe getting his ham radio to have a ham radio, children whose Minds you could work with you know the kids that are on a ham radio to play music right
I don’t think I can hold on and this was Ground Zero okay for the birthday Mike saying yeah we’re already lining up rich conservatives who are going to rig the internet oh boy doing for some time that hasn’t studied anything since high school but here’s here’s my bird’s eye view based on that the last thing I remember learning is the fascism Playbook they have like a like a list of shit that they need to do in order to take control of it and one of the top items on the list which is been the Eternal frustration to these Pricks is that because of the internet you can’t do what the first step is which is just fucking take over the media
you have to be able to block it out and just like control that you got you can’t have a free press and a fascist who they don’t work together so quickly in in times when you can just go and firebomb a newspaper office and they haven’t been able to do that now they’re fucking doing it it concerns me I don’t want to have to find out what I’m made of you won’t you you got it I’m safe you’re saying it’s going to take so long I’m saying I have my first coronary you’re from good fucking stock thank you you know this that’s what I’m saying. Are you seeing it when they come
the fight you’re going to win bro that’s what I’m trying to tell you we’re all going to die from climate change before they have a chance you need good stock like I have a gyro in here somewhere like I’m like a good person like you being my magical black person was are you at my mentor or like like like it’s bullshit for do Hardy as people who don’t take shit what you guys do
your Governor I don’t know how about some stuff and had like a mayor or something but we keep saying that over and over again but we’re a bunch of trumpy pompeys but used to be blue when you got red and I bet you when we look at the big picture you can be read for a little while
Google me majority time blue so weird
it’s your home
all right how many times can you fit what is a part 15 device a an unlicensed device that may admit low-powered radio signals on frequencies used by a license service be a type of test set to use to return a type of test that used to determine whether a transmitter has come in compliance with FCC regulation 91.15 c a device for long-distance communication using special code sanctioned by the i a r u & D a type of amateur radio that can legally be used in the Citizens Band I’m going to Stacy I’m going to Sadie because it had the phrase citizens band or we go I’m going to DDD to 4:15 cuz I’m taking the test it was a because yeah an unlicensed device that may admit low-power radio signals on frequencies used by a licensed service based on my research this includes walkie talkies
is that like kids walkie talkies those those operate on amateur radio bands but they have those privileges even though their commercial products how easy it is to hack I think they’re built with a I mean it’s easy to make your own radio I think I think that’s easy enough but I don’t care about them. Big is a lot of Bitcoin in radio dude has a lot of money I think I missed the boat safe for long enough to make money off of it I don’t know it’s hard to sell you missed is like buying a big chunk on the ground floor that would make you like like a wealthy 5 years from now 10 years from now I think one of your writers did something like that
really I think so. Ground floor but you can hang on. Yeah I mean the game is Bitcoin only becomes value of everybody just decided to start using it and you can’t do that overnight so it’s like yeah you’re you’re you’re guessing that it’s the cryptocurrency that would Prevail got a big issue there it’s was still a lot of challenges that’s why I thought I had a kind of lightbulb in Wilson yeah I had a guy on my podcast I don’t see him that way but I think I heard he was black and he told him it was black he didn’t see it he he he he he had that he was he said the same thing you said he’s in cryptocurrency is inherently it’s just like wait are we supposed to be reset we’re just we’re just going to restart this quality thing because black people aren’t thinking about fucking Bitcoin like this isn’t she
to to to change something and I can’t remember cuz I’m like this isn’t for me I like I like to be special in the things I used to do you like 30 years ago bubble ever was the price of tulips people got really into tulips in Holland tulips like threatened to become a currency yeah but it was crazy cuz it was inflation just overnight people were like paying tons of money for tulip bulb to what happened that it was seasonal somebody was like tulip bulbs ain’t shitt I didn’t stay with me I have something to say
like flowers as money I think the Bulls last go out well I revealed my lack of flour. What are superior to all existing currencies in that they actually are even though we look at them is based on nothing there more based on something than our current currency is Right Vape that has actual you can trace it to an actual Source like a Federal Reserve Bank which then would go straight to either gold or silver they say that they’re no longer on the gold or silver the truth of the matter is you can still take a dollar and buy gold and silver and you can do that legally but you could buy do you mean go take a dollar and buy gold and silver like you can buy a Pokemon you can buy a I mean so that that’s just that doesn’t count is the dollar being backed by something you just saying that the dollars back by the fact that everyone’s using its impact on
all Financial leads to Gold if that is the case then that means the Bitcoin from The Limited understanding I can I can accomplish of it I think Bitcoin is mathematically guaranteed scarcity right so that you can you can actually control algorithms that are meant to hopefully control for its expansion nobody can find out by digging into the center of the earth and said core of the earth is made of Bitcoin on the market collapses so that’s something that has is like a disadvantage over money because I mean is easy to steal money to give a wrong but it’s like easier to get away with stealing money from Bitcoin is a few different my throat was getting another chocolate chip cookie is delicious
definitely got a vice from Santa has a flu I can’t keep it closed get get get get get high don’t drink so much you’re going to erode your if I can esophageal flap it’s just I can’t eat popcorn while I’m talking or I’ll choke to death and orange juice everything everything that I put into my body is at war with it and something for it’s either the new the new kid in prison and the whole body is going to like what who’s this or it’s like something someone that’s something that’s trying to break into my body isn’t bringing you some wire thanks wicked wicked wicked retarded
how’s your mother sell tomu
all right let’s let’s do we have another time for one more ham question to go ham and how many times has Ted Cruz made his wife come is the answer a yeah right be trick question she works for Goldman Sachs the only way that she can come is by signing a predatory loan to a person of color or is the answer C on the third hottest night of the year they kneel before the statue of ancient undersea God Blocked and their eyes become Hollow as they turn into Bleak darkness which technically isn’t orgasm if you went to Yale I have to recuse myself from this question
I support everyone’s religion so i a
ace correct yeah thank you thank you
I’m stumped us with a ham question the rate at which an electrical energy voltage be current C resistance or D power
the rate at which it’s used is the answer currently one of the choices the rate at which it’s used and then it starts resistance voltage voltage current resistance or power
all right well it’s it’s it’s not it’s not resistance is not well current is amperage is it isn’t that isn’t that the that’s the that’s that would that would be like the the level that it sat across this the system if it’s so the rate at which it’s used I’m going voltage as well just cuz it’s a measurement an index that your guess my guess is the right answer lie well yeah we need to be really convincing ourselves effectively when I was five had this bright idea to get become a kid I need a train set went out and bought a Tycho.
scrubs he’s a child, and then so Christmas day comes I open this thing here it is I wanted to help me set it up and he tells me no we can’t do it I didn’t help me set it up said we can’t do it in this house because the voltage the week if we plug this into these walls the paint will peel and unfortunately son this train can’t he doesn’t want to set it up the next train I got to set up myself I just ran into her something when something to eat I literally cried and said the paint would feel if we try to cheat on with my dad so do you what do you love more now him or trains
Akamai management that’s a no-brainer train sing train sets and sheets twist shed across the street from me I could not wait for his father to set up the track so we pulled the train at the box and I broke it by playing with it on the carpet all day long like a dumbass my mom threw my 10th birthday cake at my father Hot Wheels tracks which is a darkish it in the world to be the kids went with hot glue sticks to plastic thing when she had the to contact wounds on her body and they they they
deduced that it was
her brother must have poked her already dead body with a railroad track piece of railroad track from the other room don’t get your kids trainees for this appointment or death were saved by Neil Young who bought the entire company and resurrected it so I think Lionel to find company right now his son Kenneth son bonded through two things one was the dispute sensitizer that he had there was a course while I think and then also through trains and so now he’s got on his on his Camp he’s got the same the kids come and they ride the big scale tailscale or something like that Lionel train and they just ride him around and they and they helped maintain him and then they also like look at the big short of smaller
HO scale display is that he has and they and they and he house-trained that’s the Cubs suck you Neil Young
the war between those guys about Alabama only about the state of Alabama about the politics involved in about that because they’re there if you listen to the Skynyrd lyrics they’re referring to some racist shit some hot top button push it and they’re just saying hey man you don’t understand us from the south you don’t get it so shut up you say that about a steel I know I can I can never let you guys do jokes
at what time is it in Kansas city named named The Rock’s character in Jumanji 2 after me what dr. Spencer Smulders that are and you don’t know if you’re kidding because I’m like assuming I forgot like you forget something like maybe Jumanji characters can you guys read that clock from here. See that’s a Blue Blur to me is that you can have contacts or hit in the eye with a laser that’s pretty crazy right now
I’m going to let you know this is actually the last timer listeners and viewers old be in contact with me before I’m 45 likely is the big day which is exactly half of my life cuz I’m definitely the kind of guy that lives in 97 Cobalt fan AC clocks you should just eat a bullet know you got glasses you going to love glasses I have glasses they’re dumb I just like it’s just I’m just saying like God has a plan You Know Glee as like here’s your eyes and you like okay how long do these last 45 years is how is the answer play clayco what can’t you see will when the answer is like how many fingers is your fellow caveman holding up like from fifty yards big deal what’s your caveman
dancers a clock what time is it what’s your what’s your flight number you know the airport if I got you. I don’t know why can’t I got to pull out these fucking telescopes and put them on my face what does a tiger eat you at the magnification so we have to deal with what you would like one big one minute looking at your phone like this forcing his right arm is kind of like contractions look like that crazy if we hadn’t had a huge about technology and Screen culture didn’t have it wasn’t fucking with her it is the newest one that we should all have our laptops that sounds like the white is fucking bullshit like my screen give me a new screen Janice it’s too bright
tell Brandon brought it up make that like their main cuz it’s got to be a person who’s like it’s I’m going to be the screen brightness person I’m going to be the Christmas and a birthday back-to-back plans no I don’t I don’t have any plans this year usually for Christmas and or for new years ago I usually like I’ve been last couple years been organizing something like we’re maybe we all go to New York for New Years is amazing. I haven’t made any plans this year not going out of town for Christmas and in general no birthday plans ever because I grew up with the with the hangover birthday I kind of I don’t I don’t that’s one thing I’m actually
I like about being a baby New Year like I I don’t have time I don’t have a birthday specialness yeah and it makes me feel Superior makes me feel a wolverine like people are like what do you like to do for your birthday and I’m like I don’t want to do anything in there that come on if you want to do something I’m like no I really don’t X totally socialize from birth to not give a fuck about my birthday do something you know what I like to do for my birthday to take down the tree the president that you know somewhere video link from my mommy and like what job is to say that that’s the thing I would have been I used to be like that it’s reset them and April 25th
being towards is like having a birthday after Christmas though the look like they just I used to be like this week no no no no no no no no no no I’m not going to do anything after that to you but my friend would be the one that would kind of be like look dumb dumb
I have a surprise like in Virginia in small things happen one day we went to Papa Gino’s at the start at the start of it but it’s different every restaurant maybe I’ll go turn in 45 meet me at the Roost I’ll be there from 8 to 3 is great and you buy a buyout like good luck only songs January 3rd you know it’s like a crazy time that I remember the one that was one of the best times I had post-christmas was when you and Merle had a joint birthday party at the Griffin which I hate but like
just a community people sitting around standing around talking and but being able to bounce from one conversation to the next it was such a good group of people seems fantastic it was it was a lovely lovely love that way to be there for New Year’s Eve and then you just gay
asking a lot of people to drive up to it but but what you’re there for it that’s that that means go there for New Year’s and maybe the lead group and then they can come and go cuz you’ll be there for a while you do it for 5 days to do with you if you could if you want unlimited resources show us how to celebrate that’s a great question
like to watch Xanadu perfect perfect love it I did that last time and it’s okay I don’t have to have to watch it watch it cuz it’s your birthday and then they kind of like that would be like what’s the thing that you brings you Joy that you would love to share that Joy with your friends don’t say AIDS
yes it’s his birthday when I come home and have you guys go surprise and there’s like inflatable blocks that I can pick with a balloon and when you love her
trust me when I say I’m the one you bought the gun for
if I if you come home I’m in your house
you can come in my house anytime you want. I promise I won’t as long as you dress the same I won’t be like what the fuck is where the antlers by Minecraft Minecraft themed birthday party at Gerald’s that’s like night I like it I enjoy playing Minecraft because I don’t want to be around people and I want to have a sense of order in my life. This is your life sort of thing my 30th birthday we did a roast I was real and I was just recalling that the other day with the Jeff and I was really funny cuz it was like literally like the dais for the roast was more than twice as much as the people in the audience the point wasn’t to do it as a performance we just wanted to do a roast kind of thing and we just all kind of roasted each other in the back over this restaurant and it was just
us at a long table laughing as if there was an audience there they really wasn’t that was pretty fun it was all so mean but whatever we called each other drunken old and Dan whatever but but yeah so what what what did you say they reminded me of that like I said this is all right thanks Erin mcgathy just like the probably the cooler I stay saying where cuz she said it was just like you can’t really type that she took all of it she published a book and then had a book like reading with all of my friends and like
Yvette Nicole Brown reading passages from my book and then like other via every everyone that I’d worked with a coming up in Reading like that was pretty narcissistic Philly cheesesteak it was right I was sick of myself 2 hours later and is like an amazing feeling I got to know I could be get that full of myself and like and fall asleep I was there that that was pretty special is such a kind of don’t need that I don’t really I don’t really fantasize about that anymore like I think I don’t think it’s sort of like I want I really want one like a fantasy be to be left completely alone on your birthday cuz that the whole world celebrate it rocket choose where I can choose the next want to come down and I I am
Kohl’s in the stairs or the dog ate all the shit and it’s a dog ate the curtains and so it’s like that I would love to have my house be functional and have people come over and if the whole house filled with people and I’d love to walk around and say it could I get you another drink and then then then behave like a proper party at my house but it’s adults only do one of those some kids that’s what I’ve been up for a while but we got a pedophile and girls and that makes him a worse person cuz he’s putting his own lack of impulse control Above the Law I don’t we don’t like pedophiles because they have uncontrollable compulsion is usually brought on by child abuse that the victims are the most innocent people in the world ends of the crimes are the worst that you could imagine what would you
we keep calling this guy pedophile but I just I just every time I want I want to go like a pedophile pedophile hit that she’s she can’t defend herself in her life is going to be ruined I’m making that decision I could I guess we all have to take shitz and we do it in the toilet like we have laws it’s going to be 18 because then at least have a little bit of a chance and I’ll be permanently scarred if you drive by them on the street and go like I can get away with it I could get away with it it’s like an alternate universe where we found out that a politician was a pedophile it might might be an opportunity to be like okay you probably shouldn’t run for office but let’s help you thank you for that legislation that you did that so great before we found out you’re a pedophile and now you now you can think of a reason pedophile where is go in this place in the treatment program for pedophile
you know it’s like a criminal is a person who’s just like looking Arch criminal that is there’s an important distinction there is any of you like end up in this conversation where they like go on tell us about how pedophiles are really important there’s not a lot of products exclusively for them did you see it did you see that documentary pervert park because I understandably our culture’s Bedrock it’s you can’t you can’t get worse than that but it’s a condition and it when you watch this documentary pervert park it it’ll make you understand not in a preachy way but by testimony of all these people that live in this trailer park of all the sex offenders that they can’t live anywhere else and it’s run by a sex offender in
it’s like every single one of their stories their they’re not Heroes every single other stores are getting abused in this Society where to go it’s like you got abused so you’re probably going to use somebody or you abuse somebody you probably got abused and that’s a definitely a capitalism thing like we don’t put money you can’t get votes by saying little on campaign money by saying I would like to pump some
I’m at 6 to file cycle this person molested this child which means there’s an opportunity to break a cycle here either with their child or with them is like if you if you will let me hear Congress but I’ll make sure that money goes to the right place like and as a result that’s what you like so then you have this brought down John Kerry’s campaign it did it. It does not work it is not good in the debates and running the other way when he saw those Vietnamese bullets yes but they have a great point about that that that Roy Moore is I think it’s as if I calling Roy Moore a pedophile you’re giving him stolen victim Valor we’re like he didn’t earn any like to be a bad person he’s just a bully and an asshole your neighbor might be a pedophile and
not running for the he wasn’t DEA and he wasn’t is not running Friday so much you live right next to the Roy Moore in which case you don’t listen to this part anyway it’s all over now but if I was the easy word to use but it just didn’t really apply at it’s like weird cuz it’s like isn’t there like a little bit of residue there where you go found out that guy was a pedophile is almost like a sort of residual like Badness there where it’s like so if you can find evil in someone you call it I was like what are you going to say to merge also as well and it just sort of like
given all that and everything
and jackass rides up on a horse
let me know when you get to the point where it’s sort of like I mean yes what you’re saying is true but also the Betrayal doesn’t need to go away it has to just be reshaped and directed and I guess in the right shape at him again because it’s never you likes my calls made an asshole and it’s making me out of town and going and it’s like dick head in all of his whatever it to either either made that directive or her that director of it. No this is a good idea I’m going to ride up on a horse after all of this with the numbers aren’t good or the numbers are good right up in a forest why don’t you ride up on a horse in tilted 14 year old girls in Alabama that they have stuff in common like they all like horse looks like I told the horse by Little Pony says I could do it this way you cross the Threshold at the threshold of his threshold the people that we’re up against in this culture War
if you imagine being one of them are as you and I can meet you rotated we have that option we can drift into cynicism we can start hearing less and less we can realize we never cared at all I’m not trying to say that I’m Han Solo and wear it it’s a bit I’m saying like we have the position that we’re in allows for slow transformation from what we are to what they are they have the luxury are quotes for our listeners of being on the side of a threshold where it’s it’s over man to lay on macduff you you cannot now change your mind and it’s weirder than Nixon’s time because now there’s an internet everyone has a Facebook timeline everyone used to be the joke about your Mondale bumper sticker that was like you know you had to scrape your bumper it’ll I hear Ace your paper trail
except I took six years for your Uncle Tony to realize Nixon was a piece of shit and he could spend three years three thanksgivings he could just shut his mouth during the conversation slowly get to you know what I don’t like that guy is tricky dick we have now this like up-to-the-minute like you have to double down or release everyday and if you have been doubling down for a year you are 23% of the nation right depending on what polls you go by and how you can pound is information we have gotten to this cool cuz you have this fucking thing where you now need to go to that rally and you need to ride up on a horse and you need to do to give speeches about you know we were in Vietnam and there was some shit we could have talked a million 11 year olds and we didn’t do that in like a lawyer’s a Jew is a Jew and everyone’s like waving her half of the air there’s a subtext to it which is like we’re too far gone stop us save us we cannot stop ourselves
won’t stop streaming us if we do we cannot we have we have adopted a philosophy that says we’re tired of being ashamed so every morning when they get up and they think about what if this is the day when I changed my mind the answer is no and so I began a lifetime of fucking having to think about that year I spent I’m just going to like be the most awkward person at the office party of no I have to fucking DoubleDown Starbucks cups and like these crazy you know like this all of their rage gets like funnel at the weirdest things like an ESPN reporter said that the president like farted or something and then they’re like
turn off the TV like that’s big. It’s their lives are such a contradiction that it waits going to be incredible just to watch how they like their brains explode over the next few were how the government buildings that they blow up explode I mean we are going to continue to mass shoot and fertilize bomb and and and the best we can hope for at this point my definition of of Utopia which is basically get me back to my white fragile mollusk shell like I in that universe is there just back in their mom’s basement like polishing their jackboots and with with their swastika posters like covered with like Dukes Dukes of Hazzard posters company comes over it’s just back to the Shadows back to the shame and then what are they do down there like I don’t know they fucking faster and metastasize obviously like butt all over the place
but we won’t see everybody until 2018 cannot wait to fucking see what we all do it would be nice to have a New Year’s show where we could talk about the year but what have we ever done to talk about the year yeah let’s let’s have epiphanies good stuff out there is there is so much that is positive that it’s leaking right here there’s just so much crap to have an early on and we’ve been talkin talkin talkin talkin talkin talkin talkin talkin all year long about this but it’s it’s it’s right man over Christmas break which I was alluding to bring a fan over Christmas break is is itself a form of weird passive shit hitting a decent fan and so there’s for sure 2018 is going to be a weird time to start together yeah like like please if you’re listening at home like like like really reinvent yourself like it’s the time like don’t don’t just like joke about it like like its it gets a great time
to change your mind about a lot of shit without having to feel like you lost something or that you would you’re admitting that you were ever a dick or a bad person like it’s everyone gets to just go I’m going to try this new thing I’m going to be a cowboy a cowboy hat cowboy hat, Texas listen to your power Curve Your podcast in a cowboy hat in the pocket of a pair of antlers I think they really Amplified Brandon’s points tonight as they were wiggling thank you sir for your Christmas decorating the trimming of the of the stage
I really I kind of just want to keep it this way for for January like most decorated for Christmas in January I feel like having like Christmas decorations 24/7 is just like really broadcasting that you outlived your son Keever Nolan has arrived from the spectral one of those with the correct way much respect counting Joe Steve Levy Steve Levy what can you say
we brought those things onstage thank you Steve Levy for another year Meg Ryan and Meg Ryan and Meg Ryan and it works and sneak attacks as a really good thank you to whoever made those hell yeah we were made legally and over for the rest of my evening and we’ll see it will see you in 2018 and yeah it’s going to be fine. Don’t listen to me motivate activate register and also start together is my favorite sleater-kinney song
Jeff Davis a right now today hope it don’t take chances
make a little acid
also it’s all about the booty booty