Episode: 272 – Don’t Let Him Wipe or Flush

Episode

Episode: 272 – Don’t Let Him Wipe or Flush

Description

We hear about the drunk driver that hit Dan’s house, plus Jeff’s trip to India. Everyone questions Steve Levy’s doctor’s qualifications, but is glad he’s alive. While roleplaying, the gang stakes out an in-use restroom for a very, very long time. Featu…

Transcript

hello everybody
my name is Jeffrey Davis and I’m back on
Burbank California
harmontown is now in session
oh yeah hello everybody printer
he’s lost a little bit of weight but it doesn’t mean he’s lost his power was here for the mayor of Hermantown
yeah oh yeah
Halo
navigate to yep yep yep my name is beat faster I do the beats and I do it much faster than slower beat people that are too proud to be doing Solo Beats under a drought they got a crowd made a slowness and beats they go look at me I can’t be beat and I say no you’re slow and I’m much faster and that’s why they call me the fast beat Mass that’s what you’re going to ask you how could you rap so much faster than other rappers you just wrap so much do you like a rap Master simple a pop solo rappers like a pimple squeezin from the outside to the center and when I go back
can I find a more better than ever they’re bent in half sideways and they say why did you do that you make you gave me a ride
Listen to Professor Kensington samples at my rap classes best rapper you don’t seem to be rapping particularly fast so far as I are you gearing up to him really fast rap I’m glad you asked that I’m going to answer it right now I’m a slave to the beat them provided I thought your mom was so hard it was her pussy that I ride it on and the beat sometime dropped out but that puts effort into someone I’m about to shower I just got to go with the beat that I know I’m a slave to the beat is how I flow When the Beat comes out that’s what I do
it comes from my head to my mouth and then my shoe and my shoe the beat go to my toe after it goes for my toe it goes I don’t know if that’s no longer my problem after it leaves my foot it goes into a chimney and maybe two guys and stood like Santa Claus coming from the North Pole fuck your mama so hard she’s got an extra hole it’s a USB port it charges my phone I thought your mama but it was consensual and now she’s alone she broke it off with me, then I took a p
this is the bridge fast rapper can I ask you a question fast rapper
famous for his accessibility
your mom is so delicious. Almost yummy is it true that you were at faster when you lift up your shirt to show us his tummy
yes he’s going to be extra yummy got to think about that you treat me like trucks on The Goonies I don’t like it I’m not sure
what was it named after a famous child actor is there a 599 six pack Breakfast at Tiffany’s short round hole boy Asia India California India and I was in India with church and we had a we had a big time sometimes I get excited when we take these one breaks cuz I’m like oh man we’re going to have so much to talk about but then we can go so long that we have nothing to talk about. Oh yeah we got really remember anything by drunk driver
yeah dude Rihanna an Acura into my garage in about 40 miles an hour as far as I could tell more like a in Acura for that first first two seconds you thought I was a fucking genius it depends on what he was trying to do if he was trying to take out my garage but I don’t think so that you can just drive straight into your garage and that guy did it yeah I looked at my security cameras and cuz I’m Batman and they don’t really get down that far that he could actually see what’s going on but you see headlights coming up
what are the cameras there’s a camera on the wall that he took out so it’s like you know what time he hit cuz it just the wall just the camera just changes position and then one of the cameras you can see headlights like ripping up the street and then and then they just disappear one dude the passenger to bond him out he just he just gets out of the car and leaves his friend there too. Passenger driver I don’t know that the cops made it clear that they did not know what is a guy that ran was the driver or the passenger which makes me think which confirms the fact that the cops were chasing these guys are at least least they were not on their tail because
Cody and I heard a boom that sounded to us like somebody was like kicking the back door of the house and I went downstairs and I went out back with my police dog RV and let him run around the backyard as nobody out here I wonder what that big boom was kicking our door and then went to the front of the house and there were cherries flying the good kind of Illuminating the dark living room and down by my garage there were six squad cars in the street with the Silhouettes of police with their guns drawn and shouting what you’ve done you’ve heard a million times and movies but I’ve never heard in real life just like
everybody shouting different shit at the same time get out of the car get on the ground hands in the air don’t move it’s no wonder that a lot of people get shot by the police really yeah there’s a lot of mixed messages
and of course, he was on mushrooms which I thought was a great choice for that particular moment and I wasn’t Adam she was coming back from a from a get-together with some who was some great influences are you commenting the whole night as the police were doing their work that it was really great that Cody had done those mushrooms
it felt like I kept coming up to whom just people in the neighborhood
I don’t I don’t care I don’t know if you’re doing a joke or what yeah I know I am very very subtle subtle effort Eric bit that’s basically my joke yeah my garage took a quarter of a wall of my garage that then was moved into the front of my gate that
lets you ended up to my house
#privilege Nash tag neighborhood do you live in but yeah it’s really actually this is a this is a story about how cool it is to have a little bit of money because my garage is not it’s down by the street and I have insurance and I have I think it’s essential the garage should be on the street I have a letter stating that always to be an advantage of a flight of stairs and so you guys are in the garage if garage is typically in a normal average American Home would probably be like kind of connected to the house at
and so someone smashing into it might kill your daughter or dog or for destroy your you know more than just some of your properties of is what I meant and not because I have a more sprawling estate at the average American family keeps their daughter in the garage until you guys really got what got fucked up was a there was a pipe in the wall of my garage I do find this a little I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by this I guess
water pipes are like veins or arteries they run everywhere if you break it in any point there’s just like there was like when I went down there there was cop lights and there was this huge you know carport that had been my garage cuz they just took out the whole door of the garage and then there was this very cinematic spraying of water like that that’s always a part of every car rack in the movies through it like they even though there was no fire hydrant and father was just like the sound of like I felt like it was like a Die Hard movie or something like is just like there was there was just water everywhere and the cop said you going to call the DWP and have him shut off the water cuz otherwise this is bad and I had to do that and for that reason and the fact that the wall of the garage is blocking my gate and like like this is a this is a thing that would have crippled the life of of of a normal person like I but I had Steve
Levy who eat a fresh back from his vacation was able to get me and Cody into a hotel room a suite and fax in West Hollywood where we were able to spend New Year’s Eve with my friends and it’s actually I I hate to admit it but it’s kind of been a blast having a guy drives into my garage and destroy your daughter is my daughter 8th because it didn’t realize I’m the last person that actually affected but don’t don’t rip this video and use it in his
I don’t know Deering court case I don’t necessarily need to suffer either I need him to have insurance and pay for my garage Construction
so I don’t think I don’t think he can use me saying as kind of fun having you destroy my garage against me in any way cuz it still needs to be rebuilt but hopefully he’s okay
hopefully his friend didn’t do anything desperate in Aimee Mann’s backyard when he ran eastbound up into the hills of Los Feliz was murdered Aimee Mann she was coming down on the corner on a beach cruiser bicycle almost completely around the corner I have like three phone numbers of people that I know live in the direction that the kid ran that I saw him running from the car so I like went through my phone like who lives over there I just got to warn them sky and foot he’s running from the cops he could it actually if he’s desperate he could actually do something
Craven day maybe it’s actually better these cops they see him I’m not going to I don’t want to throw him under the bus they don’t they they are admitting they haven’t found the guy they don’t I don’t know how well they’re doing it fine to go I’m going to I’m just going to I’m going to text a couple warnings to a couple people that I know live in that direction and one of them was Edgar Wright director of baby driver and then halfway through the messages like what am I doing this is his fault I’m sure this guy watch baby driver or live with this guy in your pool shed welcome to your fucked-up version of e t i do you have to befriend this guy and get him back home to England the only real tragedy of this was that we found out that you have a sad Segway in your garage
it was truly and I’m not being ever yeah it’s become a joke but it’s really really like what it really was an NFL part of it is that you only have to mention the Segway to make fun of it like Lakes of the LAPD was like I was like what’s the damage like over there I can’t even get out the gate to see in there like you’re worried bro the Segways okay
they’re there a Segway shaming yeah but then Cody is like how’s my Prius or you know she’s are mushrooms to a more accurate so I could be like that but then and then the cops were like like other than the fact that it’s a hybrid and I was like okay I see your formula and you can take your hybrid shame and you can you can put it in the I’ll take it I’ll put it in the bin with all the cop insults you know you guys just have a formula hair but they were using less gas than the maximum amount to get around really frankly I don’t want to be that creative with their guns and their handcuffs I’d rather they just be like okay you’re stealing that car which is illegal so here’s the your rights to remain silent I don’t want him to be like
hey Mike I’m in my blue. Okay. But very impressively diverse multiracial I’m always impressed with the LAPD shows up at my house and I like I like the diversity it looks it looks like they would you look at the LAPD when they come out in Moss pamphlets it looks like it looks like it’s comforting systems working everything’s fine I’ll just go back to my house and eat crackers and oppress the poor always includes the diversity include there’s always incredibly handsome like the young white dudes like that look like they belong in a boyband very very very sexy white male cops among among the seven is a rainbow of Justice get a room
it’s an old story tacitly almost feels like it’s like it’s like wet graham crackers like telling it but that’s what happened it’s a big guy but you know I wish for this podcast it happened yesterday cuz they’ll be all excited about explaining every detail
I do to get my garage and destroyed a water pipe so I got to stay in a hotel suite it was fun I had a very good time in India with church we had a beautiful little Excursion out there that it’s just like a mind-numbing mind-blowing like overwhelming explosion the kaleidoscopic madness it’s so fucking cool so you guys get any illnesses know I like I felt like crap leaving cuz you take malaria pills but you’re not supposed to drink alcohol with him and I did a person so I felt like a bum when I got to India then I felt amazing the entire time you ate the best food in the world then we came back and then we got sick just because we were traveling along
Church might have malaria malaria are you surviving now
last night you thought you had malaria we’ll see I’m preoccupied by this thing I got to I got to get it done I’ve had people telling me I’ve had a lot of advice
don’t talk about it you don’t have to talk about it it’s done legal advice. Talk about it you open yourself up the most important advice I’ve gotten is from
women that I respect that do what I do that that are respected and it spoke to me privately and said you know if if you’re true to your word and you are sincere about how you want to be part of the solution not part of the problem you know please talk about how you’ve been part of the problem that’s that’s truly the most helpful thing you can do please appreciate if you’re listening to me that the tightrope I have to walk here is I have to
I want to make this a normal part of the process because it should be healthy and easy and graceful
it should be it it it it should be a thing that can be done and doesn’t have to create Civil War and hysteria for they did that doesn’t make people get re victimized and attacked you’re not doing me any favors at all you’re only hurting everybody especially me if this topic causes you to
attack anybody involved you may think it’s in my defense you may think it’s in defense of fairness I asked you to think about what you think fair is
that’s enough just claiming I have I have really really had to think about you know this
and
and decided I need to talk about it I don’t I want you to I want to Target about what 5 to 7 minutes and then and then pulled me out of here. Hopefully I’ve done some good by just talking about this about free life closing down yes for your life recently closed down in in mm whatever whatever I can’t remember 2009 2006-2007 something I had the privilege of running a network sitcom
and I I was attracted to a employee I really want to be careful about that language I think a huge part of the problem is
a culture of feeling things that you think are unique and significant because they’re happening to you and saying things like I had feelings for and I fell for and all those things that mean the most clinical way I can put it in fessing up to my crimes is that I was attracted to a writer that I had power over because I was a showrunner
and
I knew enough to know that these feelings were bad news
that was easy enough to know I knew that they ran the risk of undercutting people’s faith in my judgment
her faith in her talents the other writers respect for me the entire production the audience
I knew that I wasn’t doing anybody any favors by feeling these things
and so I did the Cowardly easiest laziest thing you could do with feelings like that and I didn’t deal with them and in not dealing with them I made everybody else deal with them
especially her
flirty creepy everything other than
over it enough to constitute
betraying your live-in girlfriend to whom you’re going home every night who is actually smart enough and respectful enough to ask you do you have feelings for that young writer that you’re talkin about that you’re paying all this attention to and saying to her know because the trick is if you lie to yourself you can lie to everybody it’s really easy
and so that’s what I continue to do
telling myself and anybody that threatens to confront me with it
that if you saw it when I was doing was creepy or flirty or unprofessional then it’s because you were the sexist you were jealous I was supporting this person I’m a mentor I’m a feminist
it’s your problem not mine it’s yours you’re the one that actually is seeing things through that lens and
and so I let myself keep doing it and
it’s not as if this person didn’t repeatedly communicate to me the idea that what I was doing was divesting her of a recourse to integrity
I just didn’t hear it
and it because it didn’t
Prophet me to hear it and this was after all happening to me right and so
after
a season of playing it that way
I broke up with my girlfriend who had lied to the whole time while lying to myself lied to her about why I was breaking up with her
because I thought that would make having inappropriate feelings for a coworker appropriate if I wasn’t involved I want you to be the one to examine this and every step of the way decide for yourself where I’m making mistakes I don’t want to explain to you what I’ve learned I want you to look at this and I want it to sound relatively unremarkable to you because that’s the danger
I broke up with my girlfriend and I went right. Team into creeping on my employee now is even less appropriate after all now I wasn’t in danger of being a bad person
and then after that season you know
I got overt about my feelings after it was wrapped because and and said I I I I love you and and she said the same thing she been saying the entire time in one language or another please don’t you understand that focusing on me like this liking me like this preferring me like this I can’t say no to it
and when you do it it makes me unable to know whether I’m good at my job
and because I finally got to the point where I said to her
oh and this is why I love you because that’s what I thought it was
when you target somebody for
2 years and it was therefore rejected that way I was humiliated
and so I continued to do the Cowardly thing and continue to do the selfish thing
now I
what is a teacher a lesson I wanted to show her that if she didn’t like being like then that way then oh boy she should get over herself after all if you’re just going to be a writer than this is how just writers get traded
and that was probably the darkest of it all eyes I’m going to assume that when she
tweets about it you know and refers to
trauma that that’s
probably it because
I drank
I took pills
I pressed on her and resented her for not reciprocating it and the entire time I was the one writing your paychecks and in control whether she stayed or went and whether she felt good about herself or not and
said horrible things
just treated her cruelly pointedly things that I would never ever ever have done if she had been mail
and if I had never had those feelings for her and I lied to myself the entire time about it and I lost my job I ruined my show
I betrayed the audience
I destroyed everything
and I damaged her internal compass
and I moved on
and
I never did it before and I will never do it again but I certainly wouldn’t have been able to do it if I had any respect for women
on a fundamental level
I was thinking about them as different creatures I was thinking about the ones that I liked as we’re having some special role in my life
and I I did it all by not thinking about it
so I just want to stay in addition to obviously being sorry
but that’s really not the important thing
I want to say I did it by not thinking about it and I got away with it but not thinking about it
and if she hadn’t mentioned something on Twitter I would have continued to not have to think about it although I did walk around with my stomach in knots about it
but I wouldn’t have had to talk about it and
I did the last and most important thing I can say is just think about it no matter who you are at work no matter where you working no matter what field you’re in no matter what position you have over or under or side by side with somebody just think about it he’s got us because if you don’t think about it you’re going to get away with not thinking about it and you can cause a lot of damage that is technically legal and
hurts everybody and I think that we’re living in a good time right now because we’re not going to get away with it anymore and if we can make it a normal part of our culture that we think about it

and possibly talk about it then maybe we can get to a better place where that stuff doesn’t happen so that’s it please please don’t hurt her please don’t please don’t
please don’t make this worse
anybody but me and I must move on I haven’t batted ending things I’m going to now have a drink that was 7 minutes exactly it was totally rehearsed Jeff tell us about India is certainly the winds to do it was amazing and I was there was there a legal right cows cows are not only illegal but they have their own lame that like the traffic there is insane and when I was told that it goes in order of the size of the car like the bigger car has got the right away and then all the way down to the people on scooters but if you’re a cow everybody gets out of your way that is it called the cowling and of the cow is just cruisin down the street. Kind of like cats bathe like League of a Hangouts to hurry they hang out in the daytime they go they could be gallivanting around town you know whatever they find on the street some time with trash or whatever and then they all seem to be going home in the same direction at the end of the day like there
what kind of coming coming back home their day job is like that are both crazy and they put the little I forgot what were they called church with a little red blessing on your forehead. Palatka and they give you the
Metallica and they they they put the thing in the mango drink and their Christmas decorations everywhere cuz it was we got there like around the 20th right yeah but it’s in the build-up to Christmas they love Christmas decorations and you see here and everywhere like Christmas trees everywhere in the fastest woman need to be kind of hard driver Handler like chaperone
heard you guys you guys love Christmas really celebrate every holiday here every day they have a thousand you know. These are real Christians are supposed to be a good Christmas is the Festival of Lights and gift-giving and they all dress up as Santa Claus have a gift I got to do all of them to Jewish
yeah you should I mean come on
you know what I found weird is that they treated us so well that they gave us a movie and grapefruit or doing comedy shows there and we were surrounded by it like a Phalanx of security when we would do if he shows and I want to go to the bar and they’re just be seven or eight bus Indian dudes and black t-shirts is falling around everywhere and with that they’re under strict orders like don’t let this guy out of your sight like we were like big Hotshot Bollywood stars live now I think you’ll find that nobody really knows who I am here but it was great the people their offending you they called you sahib until after the fact that I was just lucky I found out later on to that that that was that was my my handle
was that a thing that it was it was it a Greg proops gig corporate like shows but usually they’re Houston or Ohio or you know like like corporate gigs around America but he said hey Jeff we got this cushy gig for this alcohol company called Black Dog in India and they just treated like royalty was fantastic it was really like it’s not funny I don’t have I don’t have if I got a hilarious joke about it but like
if you’ve not been the people that are listening that have been to India are from India are they know I hope like how special and really like marvelous like the Des so many people is so crowded this so much noise and color and sights and smells and sounds and things but nobody’s angry like everybody just was chilled out and just relax and if you follow Church on her Instagram and Cassandra church has a picture of the she took when we were at the char-mar palace
cha cha matcha
haha something like that
do do do do do you take a picture of these five women just sitting down on their break and it looks like it’s like this was so captivating I don’t know I’m kind of really like would love to go back and anytime I’m working with a writer that was in Eastern Europe and he you can tell from the way he talks about it that he really wants to just go there and live there forever. Sometimes you can feel that way and be wrong I could go out there and find out you were totally wrong and you just have an infatuation with a place like I felt that way about Portland for a while but I don’t know I wonder if everybody has like a a city somewhere on the planet where they would be extra activated giant like is it going to town continents and every city from what I’ve heard is really different in lots of ways it’s a hundred thousand languages
all all this different like this from neighborhood to neighborhood is so different I would love to go back and explore more of it that’s how I could live in Thailand
I don’t know that I would still need to go live in India but it took me a place like church as a friend is a composer who then they Michael Danna who like he goes there like 4 months right
yeah and the key is he’s in love with India
and you and you can see why it’s like walking down the street old ladies wearing these brilliantly colored sarees are cooties or whatever and just walking on the road Church of dress do not like a black Vivienne Westwood suit the first day and not not getting like a hostile look but just kind of getting side eyes when the ladies and then we got her some local girl you got some clothes there
church church
it’s been a long day. Talking about her like she’s not here
so these women like a walking down the road and then she kind of put like some linen Eli we got some like a local Yokel looking clothes and then we’ll get started smiling at her like the old city Hyderabad were too much more Islamic and the full on head covering stuff and little girls are just coming up to church and just taking photos with her while she was like Lady Gaga I was fucking read it was really good at a lot of westerners coming to hit her bad this it’s not really a tourist spot so we we stood out
yeah I look like Godzilla and she looks like Yolandi from Die Antwoord I mean you hear that you hear that a lot about Thailand and
I didn’t I wasn’t sure if India was was like that but then again India’s gigantic and so probably very from neighborhood to Neighborhood but that that I didn’t know if that was also I think I was still happening in the 80s gear that that if you’re an American or a European in your like when you go to some of these countries that people everybody just wants to the lake house with you and touch your clothes and all the stuff in it it’s the kind of thing that has a white American you you don’t want to read it feels racist like you can feel it also feels Antiquated I actually didn’t expect that that would still be a thing now that like most places are becoming more and more Western I really didn’t expect to really feels so foreign and that was a text or texted these These are sort of not even the places that you see and most of the travel photos
these are the progressive kind of areas if possible that the reason we think that way and then we think that it’s wrong to think that way or whatever is it because we have a perverted relationship with Fame and with selfies and then we how we conflated with social status so that we have this like so if you come up to somebody and say can I take a picture with you that you’re taking something from them / giving them something and there’s an exchange happening whereas they as a more ancient founded culture like are just going you look crazy like advertising phones that take better selfies and it’s just on billboards everywhere specifically advertising phones based on having good selfies he didn’t notice that they were everywhere was telling me about the head Wags
yeah so fascinating that that there’s this that I don’t know how else to describe it like why you were like you saying hey so if we’re going to leave for the airport at and why you staying there
acknowledgement of what you’re saying being processed reading it which I I would imagine during during that crucial phase a lot of us that’s what a lot of a say no to each other because we don’t know what to do and how do you know how do you know if we did have a thing in our culture as like well don’t do that. Just diarrhea some nose at each other don’t feel the need to like barf up information actually if you if you’re on fire it’s like a little peanut oil thing in an operating system if someone’s going like this different things that we weren’t there long enough to totally unlike learn but like it’s just you don’t see that
that little chinwag saying like it’s still like it made sense after about a day it was sort of strange at first and then I kind of got just it’s like when you’re like trying to pick up a new language and you start to learn things based on just like the context of what’s happening. Solutely I can do that like this
you know how people think that I’m Twitter that I wrote Teen Wolf of the MTV show people kept coming up to me in the hotels and it’s two waitresses come out to be at my wedding breakfast and then go the part of mr. Davis we have such big fans of yours I did that for a just a lot of people really know his line which is why they brought us out there I suppose there everyone thinks I’m Jeff the same damn day with her at team up with it for their money there giant Criminal Minds fans and everybody thought I was a Jeff Davis the real Criminal Minds cuz that’s the same Jeff Tate play in his name’s Jeff Davis he must want to talk about this a show in Bangalore
Paparazzi County flim-flam and security and stuff in these these guys that look like straight-up harmontown age harmontown nerdy looking fans think about that I owe you a big fan of your big fancy mean that’s if that’ll live in their world where you’re like yeah it to I’ve created Criminal Minds of Teen Wolf is in the bucket let’s play Let’s Play emotional party at Jokes. Wait let me Kow what’s Criminal Minds again don’t know I told you about the my account and call me I’ve been saying that for $5,000 and limousines last night no I got build it for the other Jeff Davis has limo rides to the Emmys or something like that
when they come up with TV show names are they trying are they is part of it like what we want it to sound like other shows because that’s part of the appeal of TV if it sounds too much like a bus people won’t know they should watch it so let’s call it TV show but we’ll just technically change the title so that you can find it I think especially for procedurals and stuff that’s absolutely there’s always a cheater I don’t know if they’re they’re trying to just cash on these words that are like things you like right television you could call it gadzook amuka colon a crime procedural you know and then people would go a Zuca mocha at least I can remember that
who’s forgetting it whatever if you’re into that answer what was the elevator pitch for a Godzilla kabocha 7 experts from different fields of force to work in a task force in downtown Cincinnati do to a the the the the recent string of abductions and then at the end of the season if you watch it then at the end of it they’re like that they’re like well I guess that’s it they got all the boxes packed up in the Setzer begin all that bulletin boards are emptied and then the and then the guy comes out from office and goes like that so fast jackasses
the homeless guy just got eaten by a Loch Ness monster in Scotland
Cincinnati is being overrun by Loch Ness Monsters of watching procedurals yeah it seems like everybody has someone that got a Consulting producer that used to work on one of those things that knows all them so that’s why I just as a radio play when I backed it out okay with him as you are only watch them and I’ll do my best to Marty McFly saying to the band watch me for the changes to try to keep up all right so you know the cold open I think we could put a pin in but let’s just say it’s like a paper plate Factory and guys finishing making a paper plates and he goes like I’m all done hearing his voice says are you
but yeah there’s more in here though in here where it’s dark and not surveilled and anyway and you don’t even hear what happens
I got to admit I didn’t expect this guy to be the victim but it’s okay but we don’t see what happened to sound like it goes to silent like it kind of event do we cut to a woman in bed and she’s looking at that she nervously sleeping and reaches over and there’s nobody there and she sees the clock and it’s 2:30 a.m. and she picks up her phone and starts calling somebody because we’re going to need to we’re going to need to punch this is getting like we wanted to wear on a blow to our cold open and it can’t be a guy walking his Darkness I can’t be a lady checking her about disappeared at the paper plate Factory you were supposed to be home hours ago
so she could have cut to her pulling up like a paper plate and she’s back to her at the same set where he was wearing a fur coat and work out because she’s a paper plate money she sends geez why that she she walks into that back room that Spencer described and then she turns on a light and the camera kind of Ghostbusters on her and she goes okay then you can go to your title sequence CSI crime conspiracies International now that’s wrong that’s the name of the company is centered around the Plate Company
kombucha plates you know what is that in the Billboards for the show say you know what now serving murder
what does murder serves three come back for seconds three murders the plates are disposable but the crimes last forever
the kind of saying I don’t want to keep developing this show not because I don’t believe in it because I want to know about this I have a first look with that because I don’t want to waste the kombucha plates
I think this is probably like a 6 episode Netflix you kind of thing right and then yeah like Spotlight 10 hour storage shop in into six parts and go home shots fired I warmed up to mine hunter but it couldn’t use more paper plates there are mine hunters in Criminal Minds I think most of the Golden Globes go off with the without a head. Oh my God I am still recovering after that Oprah speech pictures of Oprah just the most generic things about it too just like you had to have been either very impressive are very not impressive he can go there or did she not go there I think she went there
if everyone a car a big was amazing she literally gave everyone a car not just the people at the Golden Globes everyone all of us and then we go home and we have a car and the end and yeah it’s in your busted garage right now next to the Segway my garage door is busted so ever we took my car is the Segway still down there to do you removed it now like I never existed yeah it was cooler than that opportunity in that photo that you would but you and Cody was supposed to photos of that thing and use the way you get away with you having an embarrassing Segway in your garage if you say that that’s the that’s what the drunk driver was on I know I hate that he drove the Segway through your drive-thru your garage to go the back way I figured that I have reset it and I shall I mean bonus points for actually taking the Segway and placing it at the point of impact
is it going to be too much or that shaped like a Segway in front of the garage I don’t want to get you guys in trouble cuz your personal relationships can I just say I was at a party
there was a birthday party of a famous musician that can we talk about this all I want to say is that this with you and you tell me if I can say it I just want to say that Johnny Depp was at the party and I think he was literally wearing a hat on a hat I can confirm this it was literally he had a lot of all of the costumes in the last 8 pirate movies at the same time he had a lot of shit out of
I couldn’t believe it he was wearing layers game of the heebie-jeebies just in just in the vein of harmless gossip I’m not going to cross the threshold into defamation or anything like that I think she’d be happy to hear this meet gossiping about this but at the same time it’s not it’s it’s totally shallow crap that’s just strfkr e like I was at a party and Courtney Love was there but I was
it was noteworthy to me I was like wow she’s she looks healthy tips great that’s all I wanted to say something it takes on a NuTone now cuz you like you’re not supposed to judge people no object if I had stuff but Courtney let me think it’s a special case cuz it’s like washes Courtney loves you sort of like a tarot card for like she was the American the boys have these like archetypes that we sell it we go like I do she’s crazy she’s doing she’s drunk and she’s up and downs but for somebody who’s who’s who had that that archetype in that I that power she was like yeah she’s she looks very healthy
whatever who cares about my opinion about who looks outside I think that gets a dick hair cuz I didn’t mean to make you happy tonight what’s the deal with that Charles Frazier will definitely never be invited to any parties ever again. It’ll be the only result wait what have a mythical creature what happened with Charles pleasure that is if you have not heard the skull juice episode with Dina salmon tacos and Andy Dick or Charles Fleischer is momentarily again
it was fucking the best episode it’s the only listen to episode you got to listen to it or no Dino or Andy Dick or give a shit about podcast to love this episode because the amount of conflict that happens in the first 4 minutes sounds like it was just kind of hunting the party in and then when the cake came out of just wanted to eat all the cake do you think it’s okay to talk about just the one thing I think that the listeners would be interested in without we have to talk about whose house the party was at but just the interesting fact about how the party kind of went off the rails is that you think that’s too well out of bounds let me tell it then carefully cuz I don’t want anybody to get upset cuz I did do some looking and thankfully it didn’t seem to like explode online or anyting and has been exhausted so I don’t want it to start here
but someone made the mistake as anyone has ever been to a Hollywood party which I’m sure is all of these listeners know you’re not supposed to say where you’re at and it’s pretty tight and you don’t want like anybody just showing up to like a house party or whatever when you have when you have Johnny Depp there or whatever later if you can’t believe that you are you and Cody are going to be that I was blown away that you are so many people who didn’t belong there
this rabble is already like it was a little bit too loose of a guest list like once we came in the owner of the house was not too pleased with just how many people are in his house he wasn’t quite prepared for that but someone had the bright idea to like I don’t know if they deliberately posted it on Instagram or if they like location tags to where they were without thinking or something but somehow the address got out and like like teenagers started showing up like young young man fans was like it was just like they were pounding on the gates and there had been like in the phrase stings house is already funny
it’s really good under the Aurora Borealis powered by the temperature differential between the yurt in the igloo compound connected with hammocks
in Orlando flight from seven hundred years and two orgasms all of the all of the electricity is powered by his own self-interest in him all right you were at his house so we weren’t really at stake and I know you are at Steve’s house. Because of the phrase Dangs house was really entertaining me but we can do you work at the end of the story is that there was property damage because someone leaked the location of this party and these kids broke like the front gate and the back gate were talking about stealing and it it ended up in this everybody out scenario that sent the kids who were trying to break in with the party guests including Courtney Love and anybody else who was like some hot shot out on the street at the exact same moment all trying to get cars at the same time and that’s kind of fun for the kids to know that if you’re at a Hollywood party
it goes sideways enough you will get shoved into the street with famous people like right before things got crazy there was being yelled at and the guys who the party was mad at the the birthday person and but we found it I thought Johnny that got thrown out with us because we all got thrown out we are on our way out the door at the same time apparently there at 3:30 or 9,000 scarves to wipe down the fucking kitchen counter and the birthday boy was being bitched out by the host and being Surly and you know Johnny Depp and fucking wiping down the fucking shit in like he was being like the like the mentioned before I leave
Cubs score
did Courtney sing a song together I got to say hi but you play guitar like the music or am I just some point that the Party guitar Eddie staying is still he still coming yeah well so we’ll find out what Oprah did
and I think she did something encouraging Joe Perry from Aerosmith walking around a bunch and I was very excited about that I wanted to meet him and he looked it was too afraid how is Thoroughly effective I didn’t quite Cody sent me a link so I can try to understand the context but I was preoccupied the all-black thing
what was the that was an Amber Tamblyn spearheaded thing and what what was the definition of it it was if you’re a woman and you’re going to the golden Golden Globes where we’re all black is that it I saw something about this that was about showing solidarity for women in the workplace at the Golden Globes by wearing all black because I say the article I feel very sick I skip Brown flick I barely read it but it was it was because I was preoccupied but but it was rooted in a narrative about the culture of like super slim dresses and worrying about your weight and all that stuff but I didn’t quite understand I didn’t make the connection from from Zoom zooming through the thing why if if that’s where all black really just meant let’s just let’s just wear whatever and not worry about like jamming ourselves into a sequined
I have no idea if it had
oh oh she didn’t spearheaded okay sorry I thought was Cody do you know a lot about this Fall’s and what kind of video do Oprah and it’s all black stuff and everything I think I’m so jealous all black wearing thing with the timesup movement with just went public recently
yeah so that’s like a coalition of women in the industry that are coming together me to is Rose McGowan and I’ve had it is Alyssa Milano right asked what am I doing that fate of joke
that’s really going to help my contacts out because they all they were those of the Charmed girls and whenever I used to have coasters that had charms charm de Stefano like it had all the girls in the head Charmed and had like weeknights at 7 p.m. on W B Burger King collectible Empire Strikes Back glasses when I was a kid in with all these awesome in the rapper Star Wars toys like memorabilia and then we just gave him all the way at a garage sale did you say Star Wars rapper hit it
if I can just spring it on me what you need just hit it
yeah yeah Star Wars forever
yeah I haven’t seen the reason movie yeah so good Star Wars force
waking up lasts a bird it’s a fourth of a prequel series
Star Wars this one was directed by the director of Bourne Identity and written by 7 people
Shane black
did you let Joe Hanson and description of the last Star Wars movie I saw call the crowd starts by saying it’s a dark time for outer space
and you better believe they make good on that promise go and something lands on it and a robot probes and some other robots are looking at it or worst Star Wars movie ever it’s not unremarkable garbage at all it’s not important either deny you were going to search for a Star Wars movie because God knows you could take a franchise I just franchise it it’s never ever going to spoiler
who is the Star Wars movie what happened
can you believe that scene where Yoda David Morrissey
May the force be with you we might be able or his father might be his mother’s sister
I’m not being sarcastic I love rapping about Star Wars
the best franchise I got a lot of faith in it please keep making things moving about the country is crumbling
well I am not playing about and Hamilton’s with Princess Leia’s face
thank you thank you
Dart Dart Gaga lightsaber that has a handle and of course little tiny lightsaber handguards coming out of the Hill what could be cooler and smarter and sexier than that as a lightsaber with a fucking little baby lightsabers that come out in case someone tries to do that movie where they slice their lightsaber down yours I cut your fingers you’ll be like site
it’s it’s no it’s like yeah it makes sense you do you buy a big book of swords
and you I get out your Sketchbook and you design new lightsabers because that’s that’s where we needed to innovate
is that nothing was really working about the lightsaber really I mean what was it a stick with a laser that stood still coming out of its reboot that people are probably sick of that shift after all really didn’t the person that designed the original lightsaber really working within limitations find my love
imagination happening in the original Star Wars it’s not like
now that you have computer technology you should just go okay that shit is design I was designed and having a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away so why would you upgrade the goddamn fucking why why would you have a lightsaber with two blades I want to eat it
have you considered that it’s actually extremely badass
to be fair you have to have a high IQ to like the new Star Wars technology improved in prequels lightsabers is extremely bad ass can you imagine the ultimate insult me the Star Trek rapper
we should also revisit that franchise a thousand times
oh you know what we should really generally do is only make things that have already been made as make sense everybody knows that
it’s this new sustainability recycling Star Wars and Star Trek rappers ever collaborated together was there ever a feel like why am I trying to get people to hate me
how old is the Blade Runner rapper
I will make fun of you
you’re 25
talk to him
why would I care about your hologram girlfriend she’s not special she’s not happy and I don’t fucking care if it exists it matters nothing matters the whole movie nothing happened but matters the movie that was not her by the way
the robots are making came through walls but if you shoot them they don’t fall down as quickly they’re like zombies that way I can start
what time if you make a movie based on the movie that you were smart Motors I will kill myself
sorry
play Brothers.
No it’s pretty good
it was the movie about a figure skater
but you know that
do you know
eighteen-year-old like Blade Runner 2092 or whatever it is people my age they understand the emotional concept that what you were terrified that they were going to fuck up late anyway they fucked up RoboCop the way they fucked up everything that we’ve gotten so scared that they’re going to fuck everything up that you were relieved that it wasn’t fucked up but not fucked up doesn’t mean good
Liga if you don’t believe that they did call a Lyft and and and have your driver be either fucked up or not fucked up and do you want to drive you home we don’t live with a dog and a few other day little puppy named Phoenix currency and she just jumped in the backseat with doesn’t laid in our laps and want to tempt him rub and it was the best thing in the world help but think you know what if you were allergic and you got into that lift you just did would be a nightmare I walked in and I was already happy because I looked and I didn’t see the dog I saw a nice brand new lint roller in the little mesh you know seat couch be nothing seat back thing as he hasn’t let me know when you find out why cuz it’s a little on the corner Phoenix Phoenix seem to be trained to the seem to be a thing Phoenix new
to wait for the signal that the people in the backseat wanted Phoenix in the backseat and then jumps back there and then knew it was over and help you back into the front seat when they’re going to charge him to stop in the in the the thing that you have arrived at your destination
it was adorable he’s got it
yeah baby he’s got it for Phoenix
what what time I can’t
look at Olivia. Okay but I’m warning you now
yeah haircut leave it to me
what’s up Steve are you in Miami
yeah how was your holidays yeah I went home it was not good you almost you said it was a hard week for me freezing like 3 or 4 days and the first morning I was sick I woke up I couldn’t move my arm couldn’t move it more than this and it was really painful
for $5 a month you can subscribe to harmontown and see how much his arm could move in and I couldn’t sleep because every little movement hurt my arm it was so painful I thought like how this will get better and I was in bed for a couple days I was getting over this cold whatever it was he thought maybe you slept on it I like yeah I like lost circulation or something and I was like you have to go to the doctor and we go to this old Jewish and he’s cracking all these jokes and I was just in a lot of pain is like we got an x-ray this thing that was not a joke that’s I think doctor say do ya say we have we have bad news we have worse news well he he took the X-ray chart putting on the white thing and circle this thing in my shoulder and he was just like
sorry this is your way too young to be getting this is ultra rare for anyone your age to really get this I I don’t know what to tell you but you have a a calcium deposit in your rotator cuff and part of the joke for you well yeah but I don’t think I don’t think it’s related
but he was just like essentially the take you cells and the calcium cells are very very close so your body is like when it was making did you sell it ended up being calcium cell which is essentially like bone it’s like you know how physical we all the windows are tissue cells there’s no there’s no tissue in your body tissue this leg bone they’re interfering with the rotation of your shoulder how are you moving your arm now so sorry about my God lets pinpoint where your pain is and he was like pushing on certain areas is a giant needle

and he goes okay
I like on the count of three I guess this is going to it’s going to be terrible know if it is a needle and always use a deposit and he’s just keep your rotator cuff for like a minute and 30 seconds really hurt and you could feel like hitting stuff in there and he’s like and then he and many are you sure he was a doctor and he’s like all right man I know that really well when did he give you the cortisone it like intermittently while who is this
well as an ice pick to be his diploma is there any way he was when he was Jewish who’s like you would think he was like you would think the worst part is over right and I think it is but it’s only going to get worse before it gets better. I always like the next two days are really going to like it’s good that you probably won’t be able to move it as much and you’ll experience a lot more pain and then hopefully over the next couple days to get some movement back and I’ll give you less tight and you know like it’s still tight but we’re not in the millennial way it’s not tight like if I was better than all that day and then the next day my mom was like will you come out to dinner with us it’s my boyfriend’s 60th birthday
and it to the doctor and his daughter going to come is like it’ll be nice and like okay fine so we go to dinner and I like halfway through the meal or eating I took a bite of this piece of steak is Saturday night we’re like popular restaurant and it’s like it’s not going down right you know I was like this is just not feeling it starts to burn a little bit so I drank a bunch of water and then I couldn’t breathe I can’t breathe at all like it was it was really bad and I was like I had everyone’s looking at me like are you okay is am like struggling and when you’re really choking you can’t even make a sound like what I had was like okay there’s a 50% chance I could clear this on my own and I and I I kind of wanted to but it was like why why are you doing this to take the easy way out there saying are you okay
do you have the house like I have to give the universal symbol for first and then my mom is like oh my God and everyone was just like do you need the Heimlich maneuver and I was like yes and so I had to stand up in the middle of this restaurant go all of the air just sucked out of the restaurant everyone stop what they’re doing all the tables were looking at me I was so fucking embarrass all the waiters like oh my God oh my God and then my mom’s boyfriend gave me the Heimlich maneuver which wasn’t painful at all I thought it would be maybe with the adrenaline but like for 15 seconds and then I just started like regurgitating all this water onto my plate on the table in the middle of the restaurant everyone’s looking at me I’m just so fucking embarrassed please tell me it was like an Olive Garden or something
what is what is this is the episode in the least it was a really bad god dammit cortisone in the in the shoulder see how old is a separate Trucking career I got sick for 4 days I will have my arm broke down and then I almost died. Like maybe constrict your throat or something and it was it was it was so weird to not be able to breathe like it happened to probably a lot of people burning here and there was a cool sensation cuz there was water on top and he’s like no just know it’s the moment it where you realize it was you can’t do anything about it that it’s like
actually happening and then the weirdest thing we talked about it on this podcast is like the strangest thing happens that you you get ashamed of it you don’t want it to be happening so yeah wanted you at you kind of have an instinct to get out of their most Diane and Alex has died in the bathroom alone they pick it up pick it up and go to the ladies room or the men’s room and I I woke up I was telling leaving outside cuz he was telling me that he almost died from choking few years ago I went to a Chinese restaurant that I always go to in Chinatown and ordered the same thing I always do the duck and it was bad duck evidently because I woke up at like 4 in the morning
with food poisoning and couldn’t stop vomiting like projectile vomiting to the point where it blocked my nasal cavities so the nasal cavities get blocked with vomit and then I’m continuing to vomit without being able to stop and I couldn’t take a breath and I’m thinking the whole time I’m like isn’t this what they tell you about how you can choke on your own vomit doesn’t this have this must be what it’s like when people died in how many days is it going to be before someone finds me and I’m like thinking all of this before finally like something happens in like one nostril gets just the tiniest bit of air that I’m able to then go like and I’m still vomiting but now that little bit of life-saving error and I like looking at my cat like how many days would it have been before you started eating my face like I just wow like this close like who would have found me how long before someone would have liked suspected something like this at your Facebook and hat in the cat start almost immediately you stop moving in there like stickers
you looking right there Bulldogs dogs take a couple days cuz they’re like I feel like this is a test
just like him with me and this is like I’ve been waiting for the weird thing goes in public and not that they can do anything but as soon as it’s over with ever goes right back to their conversations and eating like nothing ever happened
they must all be going like what’s up with that dude he chokes yeah I know I did it took it took me like 10 minutes to recover I couldn’t I didn’t eat the rest of the night cuz like this is why can’t it just I can’t do it and then the next morning I woke up to text from you going a guy trunk that was my my break I didn’t mean you didn’t text back I almost died and a guy stabbed me with a nice big covered and cortisone cuz you know I would have retired on it and then I was stood up on New Year’s that was fun and then yeah stood up like we were supposed to hang out with somebody and then like they flaked or are they I mean like eating a hot date
she didn’t come there is and I don’t know nothing happened years and then and then we’re like yeah this time and then nope they just didn’t show up yeah
you’re breaking my heart over here Steve
Levy well there’s a hard it was a hard week only up from there I hope so tough first day back at work too
you know lots of stuff going on what are we supposed to get our work at day cares and get into a realm of fantasy and Adventure just wanted to shout out about the about the set design in the ongoing technical efforts of our crew I don’t know it’s beautiful great we had a great a great Christmas I mean that our Christmas episode was like whatever it turns them content but the fucking set was it like it was amazing I was really obvious to not be there for that cuz it looks so like resplendence I loved it
awesome
leaving we got to get you retired I mean if you got bone bone yeah I can’t sign into my mom I’m dying and she’s like stop it but like I feel like I’m falling apart I want yeah we got to get you we got to get you between the psoriasis and stop masturbating what I’m trying to give you a physical thanks Jeff you know what I think Chris may have said these lights are programmed to the way the show it like our voices like as we taught a light off when the show is going well yes
it’s one of those lights is someone on Reddit making a comment as if either positive or negative
is this
bone growth in your in your shoulder going to keep growing he said he said it could come back if it may not know who knows and then I found out this week my mom was going my mom was complaining about my dad’s side like a genetics that you guys are so bad you’re going to end up with all these terrible diseases your grandmother’s tell me you need to get a colonoscopy and I was like your mom said that I thought you said you was a roller coaster you you said mama she said you’ll be fine and then she came back in exactly she plays all the badge in attics of my dad’s side like I have that out of the psoriasis and whatever my dad died early but she was in the throes of being hot for the saved your life
her boyfriend the date her date her son from dying yeah that’s when she was like driving home and going plus your dad’s full of diseases side of the family’s awful she was like two different times I guess those all the time it’s just might be genetic you make it more of them into different advice on how to prevent they know that it’s impossible it just like I have a new thing to fear growth so you know it’s like some people grow skin tags and stuff just like a growth my polish jeans
make it to where I can’t feel something big fall off I I just haven’t erasers that grow on my body skin tags I might might might my hundred year old grandma was covered in them
but I did this guy that’s dating your mom who saved your life had a really save your life on his birthday on his birthday so let’s say things don’t work out between him and your mom and let’s say you’re at baseball practice okay, Club as I usually am he pulls up in his car and he’s like to toot and in your like you look around for your mom and cuz you know you they broke up then it cuts to you getting in the car cuz and then and then and then he’s like hey I just wanted to hang out and how’s your mom doing and you like Michael I don’t know I don’t know if this is appropriate anything listen to We just put in a good word for me you know be a good guy or a hell her tell her tell her I tell her I made some mistakes but she can record TLC
Trading Spaces on a schedule that that that if there’s too many Colbert’s you know it’ll balance out like I’m sorry that’s the fight we got into her broke up and just tell her we can share the DVR space and and you’re like Michael I look my mom’s grown woman you know and he’s like
you owe me saved your life dude
yeah like you weren’t talking about how it’s her own life when you were choking on water and steak
and you’re going to be like
yeah what are you going to do the eye out for him okay I think it’s a good dude but you showed up he wants me to put in a good word for him he did save my life so I have to pass it along he’s one of you said no and he likes that I take this back see yeah he does the ninja thing with the string in the poison accepts a chunk of steak I didn’t bring you into this world the thing called that you would keep you from leaving this world and so I think I might be able to take you out if I if I can convince you to be vulnerable while you’re eating
okay you guys playing these myself from the stage this thank you for taking us to you
chores
charge account of church so do we tell the charge story on the show before and church which way to beat where were you in Columbia
is she was in a Starbucks in Columbia and they asked her what her name was to write on her come pick up and she said church and it kept came back and it was short chortles so I guess what she is called around the house all the time now
all right to Spencer it’s been a good long time since I’ve been here and we haven’t played in a long time that would you catch me up and the audience up maybe and kind of give us a brief recap of what the hell’s going on yeah whatever you want music
so what is happening think about questions that might be relevant to getting you guys personally back on track with understanding what’s going on as I say these things
last time on harmonquest are here or is it just got into door Nestor they got past the guards after a scuffle with Undead outside the city the guards were sleepy it seemed and they got inside and once they were indoor Nestor they were like what are we supposed to do because they were on the Quest for patches Jeff you need to keep shoving that up her ass
that wall and door Nestor they split
to look for Clues and get a lay of the land in the sense of the city Jeff for Chad and diarrhea went to the open-air black market where they purchase clothes and dinner Robux with the Church of the body Temple meanwhile Carlos went to the church where he saw Jeff and was making everyone doing crazy exercises because he said they were on we need and then Carlos talk to one of the people from the church and realized that this city employs a very conspicuous theater as one of its Industries in was the theater involved in any of the entry it might be the case that it was but we’ll find out now on harmontown time Quest
nice all right yeah so are we all together are we still separated me and diarrhea met back up to kind of discuss some of your findings but yeah you came to the town you came with pageants to help with the Quest for pageants Jam because he was going to get the gym back because it was important to him so you snuck into the town will you got into the town I wasn’t really sneaking his kind of with you he’s not like at your beckon call like he kind of shows up and leaves and stuff but yeah we feel
recalcitrant
let’s go to the theater let’s go to the theater when we get there let patches do all the talking
we just watch Spencer play DND by himself ugly so good
alright you make your way to the door Nestor Theater Company it’s one of the biggest buildings in town it’s a modern looking Building made out of us stained planks they’re stained almost like a black color and then. The theater itself has a nice sign that’s immaculately and intricately painted this is door Nestor theater now playing what’s playing it has it it says the spam it looks like it says the stamps but it looks like a bunch of letters are missing so it probably said something else at one point we buy tickets to the show the box office isn’t open
why did why what was the point of going to the theater when Dan was at the church he talked to Peach who was one of the people who had been working at the church and stuff and he asked if there is any Industries in each said that the only industries were farming Milling flour baking bread in the theater
and so I try to open the door it’s locked it’s a heavy double door like an audience facing door
I try to open the door if it’s locked can you pick the lock is not what hours a day is it tomorrow let’s say it’s 1 p.m. okay if I put my ear to the door is there a production going on within their art you hear voices and you hear the sounds of movement like like you know loud steps and stops I knock on the door or knock on the door light individual Quince because I have my ear to the door when he knocked on it so there’s like a little yeah you find room for comedy and the door slowly opened it doesn’t slowly open after a Time the door opens and there’s a big fat guy he’s wearing all black he’s wearing black tights and he’s kind of like just poking through the door a little bit and it’s like you guys aren’t
you guys are with us what does that mean you’re not with the theater I came to audition why not we’re not having I just we don’t just have auditions well I think I’d be perfect for the sands
what
in the new plan that I’ve written which is guaranteed to double your audience size and the funding for your theaters about horses
well that all sounds very great you want to talk to shrove he’s kind of the master of the theater yeah let’s talk to that guy thank you he’s not here where do we find them small town he’s probably around what is usually out and about who knows what grabs his attention most what grabs his attention most I’d say a Snappy Lube tune in the center of town and start doing are you guys doing a performance soon yeah we’re kind of behind schedule right now but we’re trying to it we’re trying to get some of the understudies up and go on with the Saints of virtue my cell when we’re at 9 but would love to come see a performance yeah well it’s going to be this Saturday which isn’t for a while but you know we got a lot of work till then what happened to your main cast that you need to get the understudies
what you heard him know I didn’t what he said what happened to your main cast that they had such a great at such a demand for understudy the guy was playing say Aurora in the guys that were playing the cunning nests and the Jet dashing Fredo both fell absent both all three of them kind of like sometimes you think go out on a little troops to do traveling shows and stuff but it’s not it’s not normal that a bunch of people go missing as a result how many days are there in missing for
7647 there a lot of Bandidos in the show you’re putting on what do you mean bendy do characters traveling brigands Highway robbers this whole city is such a mean in your show in the character
what’s the what’s the elevator pitch for that when we have been a police has dementia and Aurora was the famous saint of virtue along with his is kind of what he caught swordsman his his his Vanguard they were they were known as the same it’s a virtue and they stood for the various Goods of the world and prevented them from falling into corruption in the purple costumes and they had that like in the stories they always had the big capes in the crazy purple hats I don’t I don’t remember them being purple how did the Saints of virtue dress and play yeah they dress kind of has like Paladin’s or royal royal Church Lee nights
are you guys at home I pulled diarrhea and Carlos aside and look at them like are you guys thinking what I’m thinking Pizza
all right we’ll take what was your name again Gretel Gretel Gretel don’t tell him that down between you and shoes to do that and you know what I’m not going to say to what we had to do this negotiation cuz he might take offense
yeah yeah it’s an expression that means good luck doing your performance right good luck it so if you say break a leg although some people think the etymology of us more about just the traditional breaking of a leg meaning upal gray what do you think we should do but let’s go find shrove I mean in town Spencer the center of town is kind of the market that you were at you guys want to get on the same page real quick just because yeah we’re thinking at this point and you know it it’s a long shot but
that this mysterious theater troupe because this town is so not it’s not New York I mean they’re not there’s not like fucking you know these Guild everywhere that maybe this theater Gilbert is a little active for the small a town
and now we’re finding out have these actors that it was appear disappeared in the time frame that we got mugged
yeah
can I go back in my head and imagine you know just because we were in that combat like how many dudes we killed and does that correspond with the number of actors the bandito wow I want to say you killed more than three people like maybe 5 or maybe he might have killed the actress that is what he’s saying I’m just saying like this is the thin fucking high road and Hardware this is the thing we’re following its is a lead that we got is that is the idea that in this town when you hire people to do crazy shit you hire these actors that it’s like kind of like Patrick Swayze’s troop in point-blank like they’re Surfers you don’t expect him to the bank robbers
yeah
jeez all right will let’s just go find shrove
and we can crash the stick out of the ground you know the Siri not to make you you take the lead on this one will let me let me let me just verbally while we have this chance cuz I don’t want to do this in front of the non-player characters
is this will help all of us this is my working Theory but it’s not I don’t believe in it really half a wit
is that we were on the road we were waylaid by Bandits they fucked us up they took a patch in the gym then we came to this town we’re looking around for people that you might hire to do such tasks because the only thing we had to go on was a letter that we can’t really read because it’s written in this kind of Guild script The Guild script just means that they’re professionals that were hired there is no guilt in this town you can just go to a place such as like here’s the place where people go do you hire people that robbed people there’s just people that churn butter cut hair and are in this theater troupe the theater troupe is the is the is the crazy people say you would expect a theater troupe to be smaller in a town this size should be like three people doing improv like in Green Bay or something and it would just be like kind of the two of them to be Bowlers and one of them a heads up the Flyers and the other two are tolerating cuz they secretly fantasize about kicking me out of the true but they don’t want to then when I do the heavy work and instead we got like a bunch of people you know entertaining a small town
and so where that’s at that’s that’s it that’s all we got to admit like I’ve been fucking this up forever become a bad leader this is why they had me locked away already fucked it up I took the lead on this I’m the reason we’re here I’m the reason we took pageants gem quest instead of the one that was being dangled in front of us I feel bad about all of this is patches here patching shows patches I just want to say to you I’m sorry you know for what for
Princess Tiana helping you when in fact we’re the ones that are where the reason why you needed help the last people you had it right the whole time man thanks man that means a lot it happens though
so I just wanted to say that clearly I don’t feel like I’ve been doing this right I think you’re beating yourself up for no reason I think we’re all we’ve all made mistakes I think I got to tell you something beating myself up is all I know how to do the only thing I know that I’m going to do that I can do and finish doing everything else I stop beating myself up I try something and I just fuck it up
and I’m sorry alright the table talk. Then you got the fucking I’ve been away for so long I don’t remember what the hell’s so I can happen if you think that the actors might be related to the bandits that we got waylaid Theory but it’s like it’s I say we just like let’s just dive into it let’s go find shrove throw me up against a wall not literally I don’t mean it that way I got you a road we go back into the marketplace all right and we I asked like a local shopkeeper that looks like some of that mean I know she knows her way around town you talk to the fabricator is Gil Noam that gave you those clothes they put a pep in your step they did
yeah shrove is like he’s a big guy around here like everyone knows drop have you seen him around they were trying to trying to track him down I don’t think I’ve seen him since last evening or so I don’t know how does he have a local like a hunch that he hangs out at sometimes it’s at the tavern I guess most people are sometimes of it ever nice to see you again I like to come with us to the tavern I’m busy I don’t need to be sober and what it what what what what a Tavern is something the Leaky grieve all right this tavern is labeled leaky grieve as you enter you instantly feel kind of bleaky you don’t even necessarily notice but as of getting into this town maybe even earlier you just had a sense of dread and foreboding and sadness and anger
kind of sitting in and settling over your body and you barely even noticed it until I you set your set into the tavern it actually feels couldn’t go right and it’s great there’s yelling and singing and its raucous and wild and it really has the vibe of what you think door Nestor seems like it should be the town of Ruffians that are going hog-wild you know it’s the tavern that yelling and singing and people are throwing shit yeah there’s a there’s a there’s a big big bearded guy who’s he looks like he’s like over a hundred even though he’s a human which is weird what usually implies like some magic there’s a there’s an old dude and he’s he’s behind the bar and he’s he’s wiping wiping down the bar and then there’s just a bunch of you know random break-in types they just all kind of look dirty in and wild in their kind of scattered around the bar mister barkeep
yeah hey how’s it going you guys are new huh yeah the name is cool Dennis thanks call Dennis this is it cools your first name no hardly know the price is here but I’d be happy to give you a whole gold piece for a drink and a little bit of information around town yeah man that’s why people come around here sure all just looking for a fella named Trove trove
I think he’s here he’s he’s he’s looking around
maybe he left I think he’s here I don’t see him he’s like he’s looking around and maybe he’s in the bathroom he might be in the bathroom trying to read your face cool Dennis can’t tell if you’re shaking me down for an extra gold piece
he’s not okay nevermind nevermind I was thinking out loud here’s your gold piece though thanks man I appreciate it if Evert dragons snap here’s that beverage I checked the bathroom
it’s locked what I walk up to the old hundred year old man that’s the bartender so I just stay right where I was yeah I was in the bathroom so bathroom call Dennis why is a bathroom locked because it’s like a one-person bathroom so I don’t need a key it’s just someone’s in there yeah you think they’re pooping I hate to speculate I stake out the bathroom
call Dennis why do they call you cool
that’s a great question I don’t really know you seem pretty cool I guess that’s why I’m all right well I’d like a drink to have a specialty cocktail or a special kind of Brew here I have a stout Dragon Stout Dragon hey cool Dennis are there any rumors in town about ancillary Treasures that I could hyper-focus on turn into our new Quest and totally frustrated we buddy I hear there’s a bag of holding full of beef jerky in town how much how much beef jerky is in the back of her hand by 10 by 10 ft of beef jerky that’s a lot of people people just hear a bag like that in town I don’t I thought that was exactly what you were asking I’m telling you it is I know for a fact what’s happening in the bathroom it’s bathroom stuff it’s yeah you hear pooping
call dares art objects in a locker somewhere
give me another one some say the plants outside of Miss marple’s Kitchen Aid Travelers
for more on the rocks on the left side of the tree line outside of the Wester known for their ability to skip better than most others
I kind of want to see what that plant about the miserable with no so we’re we’re on the Quest for patching Hey listen man we can get on the SATs
yeah let’s think about the time when you guys tried to make your own beef jerky
who’s the jerky speaking of beef jerky I wonder how long that guy’s going to keep pooping in their reception on the bathroom that’s how you heard the pooping sound okay if you get smashed in the face by a bottle what the fuck what the hell what the fuc
should you only does want him examine my surroundings you see there’s an old dirty there’s an old dirty hobo he looks even older than cool Dennis although he just looks like shit and he’s wrapped in he’s wrapped in a it’s like a dirty filthy robe that’s covered in dried crusted blood in it seems like it has a bunch of stab wounds on it on closer inspection it seems like the cloak that got stolen off of what he caught conscience when he got robbed oh wait I don’t know if you remember but when patches got robbed they took all his clothes yeah I left naked why are you listening to people poop man my name is diarrhea
that’s a great reason
I don’t know who else now I feel foolish why are you wearing our friends cloak this is mine man this is given to me by whom guy that’s pooping in that their bathroom whoa what is he what’s his name what’s his name the pooping guy I don’t know I’m just some asshole
what why do you say that about yourself I’ll tell you my name what’s your name Maurice Maurice yeah and I’m an asshole and I feel bad why why are you an asshole who’s looking me I’m a piece of shit he’s like all he’s all staggering around your great dude it was given to me I’m a hobo by the pooper yeah by the pooper high kick that I kicked the bathroom door down to kick it and I try to help
10 yeah you don’t kick it I just knock knock knock yeah okay what’s going on no just no other people got to poop you know yeah I believe it needs some Pepto diarrhea or around go around outside and see if there’s a window yes and don’t let anybody get out of it I go around the things are in the window there’s a window out how much is that robe worth to you
a gold here I’ll give you one I’d like it please thanks man
now tell me more details about the sale of it many a man who has just given to me if that’s all you have any don’t get another goal Pace but the most things you can remember ever going to get you all the way up to another gold piece over there I was in the Leaky greve completely nude as his normal we have an arrangement around here cuz I’m kind of a known quantity you see but then in comes this guy clutching his gut and holding holding a filthy disgusting Road full of crested blood and stab wounds
cuz that’s who preserved I was just able to talk he looks at me
it looks me up and down and he tosses this thing at me you might need this certainly more than me I wouldn’t even wear this do you know the guys name is he’s just a stranger to you he’s a stranger to me a drunken ass hole he’s just holding a gold piece he’s got nowhere to put it. We got the evidence of a position of one side of the door when I get another gold piece yes you do I give it to him I give him two one for the road and one for his information I gave one to cool Dennis I am I am like to this bar have caused no trouble I got my eyes on the bathroom and I’m going to go over my my load out because I’m going to fucking it’s time to kick ass in the name of the Lord all right Morris screws out with the money and naked
the weight we stake out this we got we got DJ outside garden the window of the of the privy and we got me and Carlos guarding the shipment both sides and I know you guys can’t hear me but I feel like we should catch him on the shiter unless you want to have a civil conversation but I mean like
he’s stuck with his pants down talking about that might be the title don’t let him wipe and flush that Unforgiven it’s the cowboy code don’t let him wait flush him out Spencer wait we wait for this guy to get off the pot before we fast forward to that I want to I want to can we just because we have nothing to do but wait till the stock strategy okay cuz we’re waiting for a perp to come out of the bathroom cuz we could really do this right for what I do I’m going to use the flayer to Dazzle him I got can you advise me on my load out what do you mean
well I just don’t know I don’t remind me keep track of like what what I think I was probably by default going offensively no doubt they’ll probably assume that’s what I’ve been doing it I don’t remember what I don’t think we’ve used any spells since the last time we’ve already fresh spell so you should be good for whatever alright so so my best bet At Close Quarters is inflict light wounds it’s a what types of deals on one diet damage + 1 + 3 right
so that means so I could inflict moderate wounds am I right about that right oh okay I see but yeah I mean do I have to touch somebody to inflict wounds yeah all right so I’m going to drop on them but how do we eat are the best thing would be if we were Pros would fucking do that and then restrain them you know you’re like oh do we have an ability to like instead of killing them like getting them calling him into the church and being like I have changed so wait wait wait a minute what am I talking about The Quest Gym we can haul him into the church
we can haul them into the theater we going to haul him into an alley and well no I feel good let’s keep going what
you’re outside the no I mean put this is this is serious stuff like I mean I’m I’m okay Landing here will give me time to think but for real I didn’t know we were going to be this successful don’t get cocky cuz we always took patches gym or at least knows who did is in that bathroom I mean he’s a good liar that does crazy Labyrinthian did you know tricks on people that guy that’s pooping in there is our man I’ve been locked up in the like this and I can prove myself here okay so what time is it in the history of the chewy chewy push through or should we just fucking pinch it I think it’s funny to leave it as a cliffhanger whatever you want this week
as it stands were very excited that we got a guy pooping that we’re pretty sure he knows like like we’re on the right track here last time we kind of thought we knew what we were doing the burning of families house down and kind of destroying a town but I would love it if we could like nail this outdoor Nestor I feel like we got the energy to do it right now
call Dennis is like you got it look like you’re gearing up to start a bunch of shit in my bar man cool Dennis if you want to keep your name fucking pipe doing terrible I will have you my son pack is what is that I want to unpack anything your next week I can let me give us like this do we hear a flash are we like it we can still just waiting outside what are the noises that we hear you here like really ominous music and then yeah you hear a flush
thank you so much
Spencer Crittenden the Gamemaster everybody
give it up for now on Sarah and Chris and Zach and everybody here only for the wonderful
we love you all just giving up your marriage for Dan Herman
Zach you got Beats
you and your show with a guy taking poop
2018 2018
201 and then two zeros on top of each other
how do you make New Year’s glasses out of those numbers he the one on the bridge of your nose
who created by a team
know what all my brothers me
2018 waffles and toast