Episode: 277 – Cheapy Peepy II: I Love You Cheapy Peepy

Episode

Episode: 277 – Cheapy Peepy II: I Love You Cheapy Peepy

Description

Dan has some strong opinions on being chased by bees and what goes on in the mind of dogs. Jeff tells his career defining joke. Schrab isn’t happy with the title of last week’s show, but joins Dan and Steve in another intimate moment on the stage floor…

Transcript

booty shorts
hello ladies and gentlemen children of all ages from the beautiful child is now in session
what up Spencer
animator of having Chan mr. Jan Harmon
rapping North Grafton West rapping on your titties wrap it on your chest rapping on your hat wrap it on your gloves rapping with your mama she’s the woman I love she’s my one ladies for life I love her like a spoon love the knife all the same ass Rhymes when I do my freestyle cuz I’ve been rapping for a long too long a while on my Rhymes are written down I got them in my pocket
okay yeah just to get the pump Prime let’s hit that beat again. The top of the show
all right see you watch nature shows about bees you’ve heard about bees here’s a rule you’ve heard
Killer Bees regular bees that you’ve agitated whatever you know you see the list of things to do and don’t bees are attacking you don’t do this what’s the thing you know you know where I’m going cuz it’s the weird be rule that intrigues we all know this you know it don’t if bees are chasing you don’t jump in water will jump in water don’t do it. Stances if a swarm of killer bees are chasing you happen to be near a nice pool of water to it because I need to go really why I said that’s like that rule like where you’re if you’re dying of thirst in the ocean and like even though you’re surrounded by salt water don’t drink the water which then you did you find out why do it’s salt water you will dehydrate yourself even faster than if you just don’t drink water
well because they could always use this this phrase they could be waiting for you when you come up because they can detect the carbon dioxide coming out of your mouth that’s why they say when you’re running away from bees are trying to kill you do zig zag wrap your head in her shirt cover your head for cover your head cover your mouth in your nose they can track you by the carbon dioxide you’re admitting do not under any circumstances jump in the water because what it magnifies your carbon dioxide emissions know they might be waiting for it when you come back up
worker I’m also covering my whole body with water and and like what the fuc from now on I’m sick of these every bd-33 Public Service announcer article Google every fucking beat Google national be a grammar on notice every bee article anybody anybody that has ever written or is ever go out or should I phrase it about be attacked and how to survive them from now on when you before you copy and paste because I know that’s what you’re doing in the water just just just just a minute to this
if it’s a choice between water and your house go in your house
you’ll be safer there in the house then in the water if you’re in a fucking desert and you’re running from goddamn killer going to be any water and there’s a saltwater jump the fuck you in it
it’s there for you I got you know you want to hear I have some coyote tips you want to hear my be tips what are your be tipped your covering your head with your shirt right cuz you’re supposed to jump in the water keep the shirt over your head poke your head out of water covered by the now wet shirt you got a bubble of are there a million ways to use water to avoid a bee attack and everyone’s so fucking taken with their observation that the bees couldn’t be waiting for you when you come up I don’t care if they could be waiting for us at any time you’re ever escaping anyting the thing you’re escaping could be waiting for you at a time it’s not I’m going to say a lot of times if you jump in the water killer bees are like play the track is carbon dioxide sting is knows every 3 minutes game until he slowly
dies over six months it would be scary to have like one of those cartoon reads that you used to breathe when you’re hiding in a pond and then the bezel pour into that yeah I’m pretty sure that was at like a Tom and Jerry I want to see the article about the guy who was in a killer bee attack and ran and jumped in the water and yeah what is he jumped in the water not in spite of jumping in the water because he jumped in the water he died going to be mostly carbon dioxide they’re going to go this is just got this a carbon dioxide found in right here hey great eyes right here so don’t go into the water if there’s a house closer right now God dammit I’ll look at that house. Let me prove how I see some water up there what a better idea than the house so don’t do that but at the way different rule you’re going to chill
buddy with that rule don’t jump in the water what if that’s all there is you can’t think I mean look I love honey as much as the next person and if I go get them that honeycomb and I had to take the babies and they’re they’re coming after me that’s already a rarefied situation but that’s not unusual in a pond like standing water anywhere a house in a pool but know what time I look at you move a sled and there was a nest in the wall when they start their Africanized so they start going like this fuckers trying to take our honey get them and you’re like what didn’t like like if your pool is closer than your house by 5 ft okay heading for the house take a couple more stings for the team
for your kids live to tell the tale with your like Punch Kick maneuver that you didn’t have house or water resources available to you a bunch of bees are on your ass what would your instinctive Gamemaster technique beat it to thwart them man I don’t know I think that we’re talking about the wrong problem and we really got to be addressing Beyond be crime well you know how you know how they work with Nate with those Queens if the queen dies then they start feeding the regular larvae royal jelly but they don’t just then I’ll just make for one queen that they do a whole selection a whole row and then the first one to hatch she she doesn’t stings all the other queens to death in their cradle
but here’s the thing I stayed at a hotel this week that that boasted an apiary over how many queens are there are really I didn’t know that was such a mathematical thing or like our are beehives have Four Queens in a hundred twenty thousand bees come taste are honey and then I started looking at them like really have that much control of my call that’s the whole science of biology or whatever is it is the seven years but the older ones there on as productive so a beekeeper we think they’re so cool and then just like Gathering honey these fuckers are like the CIA in the 50s there like they’re they’re like dipping and diving in the government like don’t they they just though they’ll reach in or the the wound the queen
because of the queen bee come to wounded then the bezel produce more queens that are my rent but typically what they’ll do Elsa’s they don’t even trust cuz new Queens are just as shity as old queens so they’ll like trade and by Queens and it’s important to kill the queen and then drop a new one in there and be like there’s your new Queen in the bees will be like fine with us cuz we’re fucking morons like SimCity
you know what’s weird about bees is there like flying ants basically who’s Ava positives have been adapted into Stingers but they don’t do that thing
the answer of the pheromones smell well honey bees you know they did come back to the hive if you see the documentary where they do the little dance they do their little Clockwork like they have an elaborate geometric code that like indicates coordinates yeah that’s fun it’s crazy I mean thinking about the ways other animals communicate with each other is always this mind-blowing thing to me because it’s like you know even if it’s very simplistic in basic is very crazy but it’s probably not supposed to get Basics probably just impossible to truly comprehend on a meeting for love it’s pretty crazy to think that yeah they communicate with each other but it doesn’t all it means is like go get some pollen like this they call their language is just for nothing if anybody is looking down at us and be like yeah look at all the shifter bullshitt in the middle of all these means they talk in memes but all they’re all they’re doing is like moving the oil from here and then
yeah they trying to get to Mars but they can’t cars are probably some weird thing like from an outside perspective it’s like they have all this car stuff that’s going all over the place and they get in and out of cars all the time the bees have it then aside from pollinating Over Flowers and getting with walnuts and you know I would like all of the food that we eat they’ve never said the car into space know and by the way I be
I dare I challenge you bees to send a car in space and it may show us what you got I can’t wait like if this was a cartoon of our life was a cartoon like the Cutaway gag would be like like Star Trek Enterprise is there and then they’re like having a scene and then to the Tesla comes and just smashes into the Enterprise and kills everybody like that’s going to happen like I can’t wait until our future Society is like taken out by that Tesla because we didn’t think about the ramifications of just shooting something off into space so dumb they say that space junk is going to destroy all chance of exiting the planet Chinese working at Simmons laser to go blow up all the space jam. I hope so there’s so much space junk that we have all these astrophysicist that are like watching the space junk to make sure we can launch stuff into space without hitting space junk cuz if we get hit by space junk it’ll all make a chain reaction and cause an impenetrable web of space junk that renders our sky is unbelievable
maybe he did maybe he did maybe he sent a car into space we could put all that space junk in the trunk night shooting a car into space in a country that with a completely bankrupt space program that it isn’t doing shit in the world that has a shelf life on it of like 20 to 30 years Max the one guy who has a 30-year plan is like I’d like to colonize Mars within the time that it’s going to take for us to eat to the Planet of the space like like like somebody like easy target like fucking things I got my all my friends like like rolling their eyes are like I guess he doesn’t care about starving children what’s up what do you know how many people are going to starve if we don’t get the fuck off this whole planet like the guy is like what what is he wouldn’t go pick on Philip Morris Jesus Christ the guy is just a cool rich guy like flinging shit into space like a shit else has anything going to get done around here
cars out there I don’t know about you know he made those flame throwers and I don’t know that seems kind of what are you trying to pull why you’re making flame for us a joke is that he’s a bond villain and that he like I don’t know what to do if your joke is bad then you start like producing C-4 explosives for Fun and Profit like I mean aren’t you just doing that I don’t think that he’s in the in the sense that maybe we are I don’t think that he’s an out-and-out like a liberal I don’t think that he thinks that everything needs to be regulated and and babysat stuff you might be something closer to a Libertarian we probably have political differences in the in that regard but the same kind of hubris it is it like he gets shit done and he doesn’t get to start a GoFundMe to say like hey if we all put our hands together maybe we can pray and get into space and then I can but it’s like he just does crazyshit as like well I’ll just make baseball hats and I’ll fund an entire fucking piece of space equipment and think people buy it like there is a like he said to me he represents the interesting aspect is like like like when we talked about
evils we’re really talking about unimaginative pieces of shit we’re cheating they’re not actually capitalist they’re thieves because they’re not interested in competing they’re not interested in your actual stirring of the economy they want to like a miser their money and like use it to just like make more money in there like not even actually playing the game right and people who are like you know people are greedy people don’t want to donate stuff people don’t want to pitch in so maybe if I said look at this fucking cool thing would you give me a dollar and then everyone wants to be cool and give me a dollar and it releases of his money that couldn’t otherwise be raised by Sally Struthers crying into a camera and we use it to then try to further the species before it goes extinct like I have some would like Hail Mary or something like the guy does have plans no one else has a fucking plan like like like the closest guy the second-place plan to his is I don’t know some guy we had on our show that wants college to be more affordable and
a third after that is a fucking not see that wants to build a wall I ain’t got no plan Charles Fleischer yeah we’ll have him all but I don’t know his theory is that if you build a wall around Charles Fleischer
he’ll he’ll it’ll amplify his voice all right
where’s the music where’s the dumb dumb dumb dumb
Crab Trap in the stage everybody
yo
Bow Down and Worship the man that you don’t deserve Rob cheap ppap trap
Is it true that somebody changed the Wikipedia page to Rob would you know how to do it I die I mean I could probably photoshopped but I forget you gave me an afternoon but that was either a bit that somebody was doing pretty sure it’s a bit like someone actually thought they were correcting the record of Wikipedia work because my Wikipedia page is hilariously inaccurate so maybe someone could just go on and change your give you a nickname on it I mean I don’t want to rehash the argument but it did it seemed conclusive that Robs a cheap Epp like from from that story like it wasn’t he got out he wanted to try to think about it
it’s a really really the only thing you can conclude from that we be fucking turn your phone I was my phone I was texting Steve
all right way OK Google could I see buddy else would do that he would hit the roof
I run a tight ship that’s a weird thing to order around here so there are
enter the Giga many Latin mix and really did it though
what do you think people are going to do with those flame throwers cleared going to hang up on the wall and say I got one of 20,000 flamethrowers that that ain’t cool historical dude made travel interesting again I mean we used to be so excited about it and those and then we all got bored by it and I have to replace Kanye word for doing something they stick against the Rockets amazing with the Falcon heavy is an amazing piece of equipment do they have washer drain so magnificent
thank God he grew up he saw heavy metal as a kid and whenever I want to do that and it’s like it’s like all the kids going like look at like like I didn’t know you could just fucking do anything at lake lake lake I didn’t I didn’t know for me the space shuttle was like that cuz it didn’t look like a dumbass rock it like I like it all the time that had wings like a little bit of them they would just be like these dumb-ass rockets and yeah remember
USA I think good player hookup from here why you never built that looks like a fucking missile and you know it by that you wanted to suit to come out of the house and I wanted a big bucket of Viagra to pour out of a midlife crisis erectile dysfunction more than sending your your Hotshot convertible I know I know it make people like space more but I got to make it like space remember like to the space
they did not face it would have been better if you did nothing I would have I would have liked to have been in the conversation and throwing a couple of more ideas more Within Reach of getting him on this podcast the daily podcast I could ever named you hear me maren we’re blowing it inside of a concrete block that they used to simulate mask for the further for the payload I would have sent an enormous cufflink because I think that sends the other one because the implication is we’re not ready yet folks if if there is intelligent life snakewater they’re asking us to make contact and we’re going to link up like the world is watching he could have done anything and make it opened up
opened up and it would have been like just a big butt
that would have been what is your butt look like it kind of was but I thought you were with me I can tell you
pictures of Chibi paper that you gave him the heaviest a paper bird saying hey could I do this can I get you’re the one who started vilifying me in the story about you coming to pick it up and be giving you a drink package what what what what country are you from
I’m from the same country you are you know this we’ve known each I’ve known you since you were 19 coracle question okay can I can I shift our Target so that we can for once in our friendship know the same enemy
cuz I met the biggest ass hole in the world tonight ocean far cry from big is bartender at rest again he he he comes over he’s got a big giant Trey covered in like like the shots that look like kind of a reddish like there’s a mixture of something it’s not like I bet there a Washington apple he comes over and get it and he goes shot shot he put one down in front of Waldron one down in front of me and I go what is it and couldn’t wait to be asked that obviously because he stopped
and I was like I was like and what is its and he’s like it’s a fucking dapple chapel chapel crapple nap or whatever the fuck you what it what is a fucking rape culture what is how about Rave culture herpes is free with my drink you’d asshole would have been a fucking allergy what the fuck are you talking about you’re not fucking Prometheus because you’re robbing your employer and pouring friscia Because by the way I kept everyone’s got the Shot the Jukebox and he makes this announcement is weird fucking Millennial thuy story about how his mom car broke down and this is the song that was playing when it’s like I don’t even I couldn’t even my my my Gen-X like fucking anti Tweed Shield filtered it all out I get all I heard was him talking in this Kermit the Frog voice
I’d like monopolizing everyone’s attention because his giving a free shots with of course tasted like shit of course they did I now have diabetes and whatever the fuck he has on his fingers I drank it out of obligation to his fucking mom lost her car first person worst person I’ve been all day what what was this song
we was afraid we started using in the early thousands to kind of dismiss the emerging kind of got to look up on Urban Dictionary word today including me how many pro I don’t know maybe not you obviously you’re asking which we is it’s a word that that people started using to be kind of like every refer to everything Zooey Deschanel was doing
anything you wanted to be dismissive of because it was adorable or or or like like like songs that that that have toys Isla phones in them instead of the birth of the adult adult children that were starting to release the music but then again she’s also like very like she’s been around for a long time and put you know it doesn’t just fan fan we should get her on the show I’m not going to be on your show me a joke as I pulled up with church today I told Dan that was pretty what is a bad joke that’s your dad was pretty sad about it already just thinking about it I think it’s ready for the big time church almost church was almost beside herself
I’ll answer I happened upon that scene church was sleeping so we’re talking about Steven Tyler from Aerosmith and when we were with the Beatles music theory of evolution of a people like screaming you know like in songs and stuff like that and I said this is not a finished product I don’t know how they usually add value what ingredients does Steven Tyler of Aerosmith use to make his Irish coffee extra special it’s worse than when I was the original Center well it was just what his favorite liquor what is Steven Tyler’s favorite liquor
never heard that again is a fucking perfect that’s a spineless you’ll be telling it to your grandchildren will have the greater the Sun’s gravity a guy who floats tons like that is offended by a roadster data by radiation and all kinds of spacecraft to write the perfect time was just
I got to say I heard you tell that joke outside the outside the the castle and I didn’t actually hear it properly I just heard like the what he called like the way the band like the way you talk and so now I had to fill it in with like just my own brain based on your Cadence’s and stuff and so my what I heard your version of the joke was what Steven Tyler’s favorite vegetable cockett kale and then I was like this seems like a bad shoe
you may have heard my phone I didn’t do it right don’t give me wrong like the Parthenon still stands not in his former glory but that’s eons of time is past this joke will be one of those jugs like that we will all be telling no one’s arguing I have a question what do dogs think music is understand that it’s it’s coming through a speaker or it cuz they they sit and act like it’s fucking nothing but if a dog barks in a movie they lose it well that I’ve got like music I got a playlist that’s like music for dogs I got to play that will I stretch after my ass like that like sometimes when I leave the apartment and I do feel like the dogs fucking like it I guess I mean it’s but it’s weird stuff on the side I can’t get enough of it
relaxes the dog and I would put it on every time Kate and I would leave so I wouldn’t freak out and feel sad cuz my heart goes out to her because all we are all she has is us and we are about to leave and and I would put it on and it would work but then they would get to a point where when she would hear that music it meant we’re leaving and then she she would put on the ACT get ready yet here you look like a little bit of its classical so it’s really not I don’t think Monday is going to be like you can’t find it
Spotify has been paused because your account is being used to the dogs are listening to this right now
sorry that was a lie lie would look at a cape and I at the door like
he’s acting dogs like really sad music this is the dog of music like it’s got puppy dog eyes this music going to like it if I really like it cuz I shower with his fighters to this after a while after I ripped my fucking delts after I fucking blasted them you love blasted blasted my doubts where your delts shoulders
I might be right nice try the last time you got your big on my big when you got your big on b i g my biceps fight I’ve become swollen did you get your big on not trying to Get Swole on the rag
you can send it to this when I do my Vitruvian with my weights and then and then my stretching and I I find it calms me down maybe I’m a dog do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually know when this is that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life is always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema what Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
but anyways how do you say I like when a dog is it a dog is there was a dog at The Rustic Inn you know it’s sitting there and it’s like at its owner’s feet and it distracted cuz I’m like I’m trying to talk to wall run about the movie we’re working on it I like movie what movie
who is like one of its it’s as dumb
I’m still writing shit that dumb yes for hire that which means for getting fired a year from now but I was distracted by the dog going to look into the dog in a bar like I’m always at I know it’s going to step on its tail or something it drives me nuts but I just watching the dog and it just like playing his people talking noises when the dog like how does it stay sane and also if it understands doesn’t understand that the Jukebox is playing like oh that’s like a guy they like to listen to each other bark and then they must be really pissed like cuz we’re like wait when we get mad that they’re barking there like I can’t fucking say one thing around here like like people are always listening to talk about wild dogs react to different sounds differently like Lolly will there be driving all over the place but other people are walking down like that
download the sidewalk she didn’t give a shit skateboard she goes fucking nuts man she does not like skateboard sounds when she hears that I’m going down this goes fucking crazy and crazy here’s the dump truck goes fucking crazy here’s a bus I don’t care a bicycle I don’t give a shit what is that by cardi frequency stuff like like that screens and things like that more and more dogs are paying attention to the screen when it was like standard-def didn’t give a shit but now Lolly will stare and watch TV with me and will go absolutely crazy when any kind of cartoon dog
and it’s not and it’s in his dogs like Brian from Family Guy which is a bipedal he’s like holding drinks and he’s talking like that Lolly will go chase that you recognized as a non quadrupedal ape shitt and cancel he’s talking and and he’s like he has recovered Harvey what is it you don’t like he’s enabling a shity drawing like a just a minimalist fucking legs and Crap Art Lakes Hotel Arts like idea of a dog like piece of art on the wall is like I only got a couple lines you use to make the shape of a dog and he’s like
when I was when I was editing the Portuguese Gremlins trailer for for Community my favorite joke it’s not jokes more of an anecdote but I will continue anyway
while he was sitting there next to me while we’re doing it and there’s the point where the the eyes change where it’s just like the the gremlin looking into the screen with its cat eyes which I went to a taxidermist and I got like real like animal eyes and it’s just the face going like a freeze-frame of it and its eyes change color lightly went fucking crazy just went crazy like Bobcat I was looking through the magic window at her when I was married to McAfee she she she recorded RV and then she airplane it
I thought she recorded him reacting to him being are plaid and then she recorded that and then airplane that and I came into the room because the Sound Harley was making were so fucking insane because it was like he was he was either losing his mind or Worse gaining it he was I think he was Consciousness was getting at least if you keep doing this thing has a jar that can snap our throats in half eats only kept in line it’s ignorance you’re making it self-aware it’s going to be waiting for us in the kitchen one morning with the neighbors head on a plate why don’t you eat out of the bowl the airplane what you doing video of him and then putting it on the big screen
where’s Wiz Harvey like looking at he was looking at the back of himself barking at the TV which had a Harvey on it that was barking the original was you know it was like Enter the Dragon with Bruce Lee. How old is Harvey and Edna I’m the real life Harvey was like Progressive
taken like a like a wind-up like dog toy or any kind of like you know Quadra ped like thing the boxer wind-up robot dog thing and put it in front of Nigel and Harvey
I can’t I don’t remember we have done this with Lolly like maybe three times in my life with her thinking like it’ll be cute like a what does keep toy wait we got like this dog toy that was like offering you turn it on and it walks like so I can
put it down
loli hit the fucking roof she’s just like shaped what is what is this what is this thing is a snowstorm what is this why are you doing turn it off get it away from me away while I could not handle it I put it out there to the fans to put that to music it’s okay if I brought in like you top dollar for the robot human person to walk the flags on your door came open and they came out and they looked at us for a second and then they took some measurements with octopus rulers and then they went they went
and they went back inside and then that came to like this it is like watching fucking Polar Express Vale watch shape of water at because he hasn’t she answer one
dogs dogs every morning going to light a rose every goddamn morning 8 I get up I work out cuz I am and get your big on same time every morning – my neighbor’s cat comes over and the same fucking Harvey and Nigel just like these guys like it just like I I just what is it what is it like to be a dog like they just they are meeting that cat for the first time and each other for the first time every 5 minutes it did just so amazed if there’s a cat in the yard or they’re just like like yelling at it like are they yelling get away are they yelling get over here like a cat and they were Relentless they were the Harvey wouldn’t leave the fucking cat alone like I regret it for the rest of my life suggesting I used to that
like Lolly barks at big dogs and any dog that’s tears her down like and I don’t think it’s I didn’t think she’s like I’m afraid of you so my reaction is to make a lot of noise and and jump around and get you to run away because you probably will eat me and I think your Harvey thinks he’s a small dog but I know that if I let him out when the cat was there I know the cat would run away if he came running out cuz he’s a giant dog but I also know maybe this is to your point kind of but he wouldn’t eat it he wouldn’t like nope attack it terrorizes it because he’s at he’s a fucking giant fucking moron but is that like like like the cat would be traumatized but he would like run out he would want to see what the play with the cat why do you bark at something you want to play with what
yeah I think he’s running up and are you a friend of your friend but you look like you don’t what you look you’re not responding to the way you should but friend friend no no not that weird selective ability for dogs to be a part of our world like they understand almost perfectly where your front yard is they they they have like this these weird they they just blend into your world they understand what windows are they know that they can’t get through them so they just stand there and bark at them and they they don’t even ever try to like bang their head against the glass to get through it they don’t forget that glasses is an invisible barrier but they don’t remember what the fucking cat is there just like so goddamn amazed that it’s a cat silver silver man had like a great theory about like a dog’s perspective of an elevator like they’ve got to think it’s a time machine
jumping up and down the furniture is different what’s going on in years in the future I wonder if they do that up I wonder if the customer is called and it’s called pup in an elevator and the soundtrack is by Steven Tyler I wonder if they get there but they keep track of of of pain and elevated like we would if we were if we didn’t have certain advantages we would think it was a time machine but they’re like I’m going up three floors I’m going up like 30 dog units you know like they because they need all the stories about dogs that like big jump out a window and then they find their way home and you know they they they like they are there like always have like a GPS in their head
do they probably like I’m in a box and it’s got no windows I was in the window so I can stick my head out of it what is up with that shit dogs and the cats like god dammit what the fuck is this God damn it get me out of here are you fucking kidding me I need a guy do I didn’t want to be in this small space involuntarily in the first place now is moving are you out of your goddamn mind I’m going to piss on your face if I can like the rare to find a cat that’s like down with a joyride they kind of either go catatonic or they just fucking like a freak at times it just like I can’t believe they stick their head out the window they’re into it further work into that like Lolly will look out the window and just be like
it’s insane. What’s going on here it’s like my legs aren’t moving but I’m running really fast what is going on what is the weather down with that
experiencing something that we just didn’t understand and it just kept happening to us we would be fascinated by it would be first and foremost I agree with the cat and the cat cats are smart to like cats never get used to it they never come around and go the other hand is kind of cool to be really fast cat like and taste the wind like cats love running quickly and cats love the world cats love to look at things like but dogs are just like look man there’s a weird canine relationship is where they’re just like I like the wind in their face like that happening yeah
smells
yeah they’re there they are they’re watching like they did they watching five channels at the same time so that you wouldn’t put a dog on Elon Musk space cuz there’s no wind there’s no smells out there a bunch of radiation which is dated we’re getting right now
would you put data out in space sure sure I would date is already out in space. Any more shows cancelled wow

it would rather drink zzzzz Geppetto of my job Mike tea bag
that’s how they do it in London and London Legacy bags all of your pumpkins for free this evening of course is the rift what a queen would say that would provoke a mic drop which turned out to be you won’t be getting your free pumpkins no world traveler I know Geo politician I don’t know what it what’s going on in England but wow that is a whole cord crisis Winston Churchill movie great performance really interesting is you said it’s kind of like well it’s like like watching an episode of
Doctor Who remember everything but I was like I’m amazed at how actually true it was I don’t know what I expected but like how is like Winston Churchill’s absolute this guy who you’ve there’s a million quotes from quotes that true you’re like wow one guy said all this shit he’s like the fucking Vince Lombardi of world war but then you watch the movie that’s like oh yeah that’s all he did
like he was like he just you just fucking talk like that I mean I don’t know what else I expected to see like a young Winston Churchill a vaulting over a with Wolverine claws that we’re still bone had been infused with titanium yet I’ve been pressing the world that most of the great like actors now have from the adamantium don’t write in
continue to be from like the UK or the antipodes and like we had an American actor playing with some church of that’s kind of a male different characters I did not let go did Winston Churchill in the crown and he is America on his mouth is a circle a circle
can you bust do the same scene but it’s Harvey Keitel
honey I tell you what are you
what are you what are you doing there it is do you think do you think I am do you think I am doing what you think I am doing I don’t know if it was a little harder than I thought I remember now Juliette Lewis
I am a Natural Born Killer I let my favorite my favorite line in Natural Born Killers she’s such a great like in an otherwise it’s it’s pretty uncomfortable I also love X eyes weren’t I also love Quentin Tarantino whatever go find lettuce Sizemore doing the scene in Natural Born Killers where he’s in her cell and he went the babies talking and he says like I want you to I want you to I want you to change my nipple and and put this lipstick on and pinch my nipples get so specific
can I ask what you what are you doing Natural Born Killers I think it’s from one of the deleted scenes when they are like before they go to drug world after they get bit by all the the rattlesnakes you know they have to go in the scene where I’m pretty sure it’s him all in provis like Stone was just like go just come here and get some snake juice kill a killer
biotics I haven’t seen that movie in a while would you could do me a favor and do your your famous Salma Hayek impression
hey I’m Salma Hayek
these Clair Brothers it’s coming in over the wire we’re going to come here there it sounds like they’re not going to make it but I do want to hang out there I do want to do in the service of plugging their buttholes
hell yeah and I see them again but holes have gone because they’ve had their podcast dumb people Town twice now and it’s great fun and I truly love doing it and they’re they’re they’re good friends in as much as you can be good friends with people you’ve done to two pockets with but there were going to come here if they were going to plug is a thing we’re very excited about me and dance a documentary about about something that’s not always talked about in public
feces is it a poop documentary it’s a poop documentary maybe they got their funny friends talking about poop I think they delve into the history of poop what was the first thing that could be considered poop like poop stop me from thinking it I don’t know yeah you made it I think they I mean shouldn’t you say I think I remembered and doing a awesome rest on how the how it might start know I remember that being the actual part of the movie of you saw it as you ripped it but like I thought you were being a movie and it changed my life in the way I look at poop forever is Dan Dan in the movie Dan’s in the movie everyone you want to be in the movies in the typical documentary in the movie and I accomplish the task of making you hate me more than poop as a as a that’s a joke for my fans you know that every documentary and I come off like a fucking douchebag
turn down the I think it’d be a mistake to make a poop documentary and not put Dan Harmon in it I think I was in a bad area where they used over my protests of like please don’t I’m on camera saying please don’t like make me talk about the fact that Back to the Future 2 sucks
don’t make me talk about it but you weren’t the only one in that documentary that said that I will if that’s true I I know they sandwich me saying that between like a father and son with different kinds of cancer whose sole way of coping with it is to celebrate Back to the Future II and like a mayor who brought jobs to his town by building a Back to the Future 2 statue is it in the middle is me going I hate sex anyways that sounds like a good creative work with you ever again there goes my There Goes My pristine PR what is the name of the sklar poop documentary Everybody Poops nope that’s not what it is I’ll find out right after this word from our sponsors
and and you and you do or don’t like poop you will be interested to know that there are they work is it are they releasing it is it or is it like a limited release I guess we got to get up early we got to get this poop. Given a commercial claims let’s just take it again from the top going to be a small release yeah that’s what I’m shocked the sklar brothers have been talking a lot of shit lately literally
Hampton put literally there could have just stopped it. How was you get that they’re joking it’s about who you guys are being very jaded and
don’t you worry about our friends listening to stuff like this is going back to how they don’t seem to support us very much remember when you should not say I love hanging out with him I have a million poop talk questions yeah we really wanted to learn more about the movie and we’re excited to do it and that’s the one thing we can’t do poop talk so like everyone in America that’s listening and also all the other countries we should all have to go right name name the seven countries in European 20 seconds five countries in anywhere in the world you know what you know how to get Rob to jump through a hoop
are not for jumping through okay don’t don’t thank you or
don’t wait too damn eyes I have known you for 57 years to this guy I look at my hands the other day and I went Jesus Christ my hands are fucking looking old man and they were shaking they were all wrinkled and I was like what the fuck happened to my hands what happened in my hand so used to be so soft good dinner of wrinkled old started crying cuz I can’t see very well relax if I don’t know my glasses and they look like you know looking at Cybill Shepherd on Moonlighting closed up but because you’re all like ghetto frosted glass looking and a pretty good I put my glasses my reading glasses my special close up reading glasses for when I want
look at my phone
and read what’s on my phone and I turned my palm of my hand around and I just looked at my hand and it was just like
I actually noticed how old my hands looked and I said it’s it’s it’s coming it’s it’s almost over
it’s almost over it’s like you know when you need when you take ecstasy for the first time and it’s the best feeling in the world you know you’re just like oh my God and you paint can you go like it’s great and then all of a sudden you start coming down and there’s like this heartbreak of like I just got here I just got here and I’m coming down that’s what my life is like right now I just got here and I’m fading out the dimmer switch on tribe is turning
damn cock wife
check out Randy Jason’s coronavirus Tik Tok coming down from that that being the exact chapter of the party wear a million strangers burst in and Point At You and yell privilege
that’s my favorite part of the party job
but when you’re high on ecstasy know when I’m dying, so it’s not a good time to be like we hit it we had our Peak could we we we we we weren’t ready to you know for the whatever the opposite of the the hill downhill I think it is pretty sure it’s not uphill we weren’t ready to be ready to be over the hill I feel like I hit my Peak like maybe
30 minutes ago with my Steven Tyler but I was just saying like politically fashionably like partially probably because of the population Dynamics cuz the the younger kids they’re like part of a huge shadow of the baby boom is like a giant huge section of the population like it became open season on old people like you is kind of like hit the peak and then you start going downhill and then you hear this war cry and it just until I call Manuel at least it’s downhill and it’s like a fuck shit I am an easy target
I thought I could like slide into like retirement like by the old rules and now you’re supposed to like get be a young white man in like become an old white man and then you you forward your privilege and then you have it in your little sack menus tiptoe quietly to a wagon of Coast downhill into it and do a little Chalet I might not make it back they said there’s a price on my scalp
people know that this is the route you take now there’s there’s there’s a I want calling band it’s cuz they might be heroes I might be the villain but there’s there’s people on the highway they know I’m here they’re going to get me
the new Purge movie looks pretty good what’s this one what’s equal prequel prequel prequel are coming up with the purge The Purge the bench
yeah he thought he pitched he thought he peeks Shepherd maybe that’s that’s that explains a lot yeah I know I’ve always had all this looking hands but this is really can’t get paper it looks like like like like like rice paper God do you like what you’re looking at is affected year old but you’re you’re you’re physically fit so you’re your hands this is different because I have a layer of fat now you’re just fine because
I know this this is really bad this is not good I got a lot of paper write you touch paper touch paper are you get home you must dry shrimp you use any moisturizer I try to lower body fat so you’re as you’re going to go as you grow older which is like Steve Aynsley.
Steely Dan 4500 dying person’s hands
sorry they’re wet let’s take his hands-free Jack and you can’t reject that was just on how did this get made
oh I’m calling Pinterest way to go phone are they going to pick up
yes
Man Pinterest still picks up Rob’s calls
scale of 1 to 10 Jeff doesn’t have a mic right that you should never tell another joke 10 being the world’s funniest joke I don’t think it’s going to be above 5 I just want to know what you like what your night can I give you a note that I’ll take it from 4 to 8 I didn’t say this was a complete a joke I thought of this as we pulled up to the starburst Castle is this just a performance cosmetic I just I need you to punch creme
yeah I ate a 8 that’s it that’s the first time when you just said creme de cacao I didn’t that’s the first time I know what he’s talking about oh okay
yeah and even then you get your talking about what I think I had a perfect view all of your word play assaults on the public have you everything would be leaving try to tell the story on the show yet oh yeah yeah yeah but your your your sea anenome joke yeah that’s a great joke can do it again
Warner Robins GA what are what are the scores of some of my jokes robbing
I love shopping shopping as a Timeless Enterprise and people think they can trap you but they can trap you right and then people are doing some Pho shravan am I good enough memory in a matter of getting a friend but I only remember the most recent one was just that Courtney Cox’s now absolutely officially friends with Cody Courtney Tyson Courtney, sorry I’m both right all Courtney’s been publicly Courtney Love
Cody says like thanks thanks for saying that we should hang out and then and then Courtney Love replies like yeah I’d love to do that we should hang out and then it’s just and shrub going like yeah I’m free anytime I don’t know it’s just it’s just really funny that’s what I do be around
that’s the joke that the joke
remember when Sarah became like for a 24-hour news cycle like a famous a famous no one writing any of these articles knew about anything else to travel ever done a redundant question tweets on the air in so long ago he was a bit on how long ago that was like maybe 3 years ago maybe even 4
wow it’s before it’s a lot of years.
How long have you been doing harmontown at least 5 years
it’s good because we got your transformation because it’s not really the same podcast I listen to the chief Epp episode really hurted a really insulting a really really really good. Sad said that you feel comfortable enough to talk to people like that I’m sure because I was running the whole time is it it’s like gold it’s called G PPP it’s like top 10 top 10 episode because I’m in High Spirits are there might be something maybe I need to be an Abbot you know maybe that’s my thing I’m complaining the whole time my God you guys are picking on me I hate you I’m annoyed with you I wish I wish my podcast with better you know like maybe might want no life is just to be miserable I don’t know maybe when I’m asking what I think or am I serapis says dan when you’re certain you’re in trouble Dan Harmon
you’re better off not being certain that’s when you Excel when you don’t know things when you’re confused people need you to be uncertain you not everybody you tan when you’re certain like every time you think you know something for sure just stop just go soak your head in a bucket and you were like I think it’s $2 I thought it was great advice although it’s not really follow cuz I don’t need to follow that advice of this situation I’m certain of it I can’t really follow all right well that’s why she’s telling you but I always do realize that she’s fucking right like I look back and I got yet there you were definitely thought you knew what the fuck you were doing it’s like you’re going to speed that like the Mobius strip of your dry erase board vice-chair high self
you can’t listen to hide than being high then knows what he’s talking about
that’s a deep cut reference what
number to Dan’s office back in the Commonwealth apartment and had a note in my white board and it said deer hide an burnout deer non hide your not hide an don’t get high it makes you feel like you’re having a heart attack signed hi Dan and then Jeff saw it while we were getting high and he’s like what’s this well I A N to remind myself anything but we’re getting high as like well I’m not going to listen to this guy’s High
yeah he’s acting all Sarah have the heart palpitations when you smoke the fucken ganj the Advent of vape pens vapelife the paper that was freaking hard right I think it’s just in general like a grown weed is that rolled into a thing in the Earth supposed to do a cartridge you buy from a fucking 7-Eleven that’s like it’s all the same oil like I just think I’ve learned I still liked it too high for 20 minutes always check my pulse cuz that way if my pulse stops I’ll go go you’ll be the first to know first to know
India have you ever read anywhere
online in a book
milk carton what have you of somebody having a heart attack because of of gunga no I mean it’s like that’s the running joke with Weider not running joke the fact that we joke about no no one dies from fucking weed you’d have to you have to you have to suffocate in it you have to be dropped into a silo full of weed I didn’t know it doesn’t it it it it it it is hot I think it’s what people it took me a long time to realize that that’s what older guys when I was younger and they would say I can’t smoke weed as much anymore it makes me paranoid right and I always thought he meant I was feeling really sore coming I can’t ya know the police are coming or know that the police aren’t coming because I thought paranoia meant like hallucinations but paranoia is just a phrase that means something’s wrong for me it doesn’t mean the police are coming like when I’m super high and I’m like driving around anytime I see anyone on the phone I think they’re talking to everyone
call sexy on the phone and I think they’re all talking to me about me and talk to you the government and stuff from the end of the show schedule at the Lewisville or whatever with it was the 2nd of the HR Puff-N-Stuff sketch of a little boy going like I said he’s like oh no they don’t know everybody hates awesome that’s a that’s a completely random in my head and
well this is no place for that okay and I want to stay this I want to start this off because saying I’m not racist I’m getting a huge like Nightmare on Elm Street fan and I love like the screen franchise as a quest Craven is brilliant I think he’s very very funny and we miss him rest in peace West Craven but do you remember the time like it was it was like early days like early. Or whatever I met with Wes Craven Depot I got to call UTA calls and go hey Wes Craven once you do an animated series
an animated series and I like what that sounds amazing you want to do that guy like a horse yet he want to do it like a whore animated series fucking great what it’s got to be like something like Creepshow or some kind of you know like kind of easy, cuz animated will be violent it’ll be cool I’ll just drive this is exactly what I want to be doing this will be super fucking cool I got to do this and I go there and Wes Craven’s not there I’m meeting with some guy there
who’s the delightful person but he goes okay here’s the pitch West Craven when he’s not making
horror movies is going out in fighting monsters in Buffy the Vampire Slayer asked adventures and I was and it’s called the West Craven Chronicles
he played animated series about it West Craven himself going out in West craving Buffy director animated killing them killing vampires and they had
art like that if I knew how to draw I could cuz I can picture it so clearly and there’s like this kind of Batman the Animated Series version of Wes Craven fighting a Yeti and he’s got like that the salt and pepper beard and hair slicked back and just kind of would like intelligent look on his face when he’s fighting like a mummy and a spider like it and I’m like and I’m in my brain is going
what’s this alligator person is this is it this is this is a girl this is got you got this so so and he’s he’s he wants to do this oh yeah oh yeah like West is totally into it with the idea could I
it just would help me put together like you no pets or whatever can I can I take these visual can I take me directly to Dan Harmon Department of the framing place you can go already yeah I got some ideas I got to just got to go and take care of it. Open up the door and close it and it just like fat Charlie Chaplin fast forward me run to the car Dan opens up he’s got a bathrobe and a coffee mug that says kiss me on Monday and Ferris Bueller
why are what are you talking about I got to sit the fuck down you got to hear this and look at it I’m not going to live this alone and it was like insane and I was so broke as fuck I was so broke that I went I I said I’m in let’s do this and I you know and I know what Wes Craven likes crossword puzzle so we got into it and he’s also a birdwatcher so if you can get that in there too and I’m just like
and I like reading and writing and wrinkles out to details up or is that for real for real crossword puzzle but it’s a bird watching
and then and then I want this is Wes Craven’s idea or their pitching an issue with their idea cuz I never once in this whole thing never got to meet West Craven and which is sad because I I’m a huge fan I think he’s brilliant I got the impression towards the end of this guy was that executive he was like an up-and-comer whatever had an idea said let’s put two and two together let’s just do this and and West was like yeah sure whatever you say know why is a no-go for him why is Hollywood so plastic has happened why say no why would you ever say no it cost nothing to say yes it caught
anyway you could ruin your career by saying no to the wrong thing you can’t ruin your career by saying yes to the wrong thing so until it comes to the point where it’s because everything dies anyway so if you’re was craving and your assistance assistance assistance vice-president of assistant is saying like oh yeah and also a thing I want to do is like I do in a crossword puzzle I was fighting a mummy you just you just you just say the fastest route to the end of the phone call you don’t pull over your car and go now hold on a second
if you’re going to be interested in me and keep making projects about me for no money while I drive my car around you just go yeah bye bye I’m busy doing great I love it and everyone in it every conference call that trickles down from there they love it love it love it love it definitely has his underlings sucking up to that someone being like I am nailing this and Theron Aileen now post Netflix post mindhunter post post post just everything Golden Age post Golden Age books like I don’t really Mike Tyson mystery why not West Street at the scene into who’s Rick and Morty bucket to lean into it where they would be constantly people like guy
Wes Craven how do I know that got a director I think he’s like when he’s like Stephen King or whatever it wouldn’t matter if you like Wes Craven you like I know those words like Kleenex or something I don’t know I don’t have to be the average person doesn’t know what he looks like a caricature of him
Wes Craven no no no you don’t need to visit carrot fucks a caricature know the name that’s it that’s all you start with and then it’s that’s why you don’t have the gas or the caricature wouldn’t you do a receding hairline a Gray beard and you you you you lean into it he’s like Doctor Who like doctor who doesn’t have to fucking like be sexy and cool as like it was like like that’s the thing is like okay crossword puzzle bird watching the doctor is a cool name and it’s like kind of sells itself but the butt but back then it was fucking Ludacris because I still think it’s pretty fucking law so you know that if tomorrow is what was alive and because I know this because I’ve done these fucking project for you go like somebody goes like Oh my God
I want to do it pretends he named that’s like equivalent because I don’t want to get in trouble by naming names but like Garth Brooks loves you is community Rick and Morty whenever you go like and he want to eat and he also loves animation cuz his kids animation you got fucking all right like look I have an innovation Studio look tell you what Garth Brooks is an agent for the government he is at like when the government has something that needs done that no one else will do if he calls Garth they called Garth Brooks it’s it’s fucking self itself it’s hilarious as a person’s recognize what does it matter it’s like Mike nice if it is it is it like they did then it’s all execution dependent is either shows good or it’s not like like fucking who cares and that but then the crazy thing that always happens if you go here’s your one year she hears your free labor here’s your fucking drawings I hired talented people to draw Garth Brooks this is a fake example but it’s like the real the real one is like fucking mind boggling Toby Keith
Drew your fucking irrelevant country western ass lake lake lake as an action figure looking awesome and I had people write all of this is Free Labor fucking handed to you on a silver platter phone call for you I guess Brooks has assistants and Garth Brooks his lawyer and Garth Brooks his agent Garth Brooks his family and his Garth Brooks his foundation and Garth Brooks his taxidermist would like to talk to you as Garth Brooks on the line know he is. But he
Richard Lewis I don’t know I don’t get this don’t get distracted. I’m a little drunk a little
Brook fight the Loch Ness monster distance not to Garth Brooks style I don’t know if you’re from this is Garth Brooks Tyler stalking I’m Sheila and it said Scott Brooks doesn’t fight the Loch Ness monster young man and you’re like this is unbelievable I’m 40 and you should be so grateful that I have what I gave to you because I could cut the head off and replace it with a pop singer and attend I’m going to and I did and then they sucks too but it’s like it like what it is really crossword puzzles and get a fucking I hate yet he’s going to go hunting who cares just let me make a show just let me make it what are you waiting for a good idea for a show in your mind you’re why do you think that he needs to sound like a good idea before you let it get made you suck you don’t make TV
what are you in charge
money I’ll make a good TV show
you two are going to rip that out of contact I asked her fans to add that to the original music thing that Rob your fucking like oh you know what I’m a manager or so and so and I got to figure the BMI to put you in touch with Death Metal Head and the Johnson and took him if I come into the room if you got me in a conversation you’re going to get a good show about your fucking goddamn musician you don’t care about this shit anyway otherwise you’d be making about it making a you care about fucking fruit infused Waters and shit and we aren’t talking about that so let’s get out of here and we’re not talking about that we’re not talking about fruit that’s what they’re for
yeah I don’t think so it will be withdrawn at a towhead would do I don’t think God Ticonderoga man would a would be that sharp Storyteller Potato Head would do to ask the question who am I my face keeps changing and half of it’s in my ass what’s the what’s a meeting with a goddess and the mr. Potato Head move and he finds out he can be mrs. Potato Head like like like there is no fucking difference
it’s a god-damned American anthems are non-binary identity like it’s fucking like like that’s it no Kaliko whoever jumps that plastic shiting you are chilly surprises as is going to be on the phone tomorrow and spend the night and we love it we love it and we’re going to run out of ways a joke about it because we’re just going to do all the joking references series actual potatoes right there was things that you could do they were little dad on TV just take a picture though they made the potatoe plastic mustache in a highball and a half in the real potato potato

I don’t give a fuk I’d applaud the the step up to a fake potato what’s the step up the selling you a fake cuz they’re not getting any of that actual potato money
they would like go to like a Swank parties or that there’s a guy singing at a time when you don’t know what to do with the third from Kaliko price I look who’s there so if it isn’t all right of the potato magnates looks like he’s got murdered his own could it be because half of the money from mr. Potato Head sale goes
adorable potato make all this money off of our thing in the biopic DiCaprio’s play the Fisher-Price guy he’s like look at that smug fuck over there by the punch bowl
when are you guys over there I made that fucking shit girlfriend Samantha Hasbro who has just started dating why don’t you just make the potato plastic to fake he’s so plastic trailer that’s in the trailer he falls down the stairs and then while she’s in the hospital the doctor explains that they’ll have to do surgery to reconstruct her he’s like I have an idea and it’s some of your butt and put it on your face in order to fix it the only way to fix it to put her lips on her ear and put a hat on her chin we’re going to have to take medicines going to have four noses on the side of your face
head which is it we can do it in a human head you’re basically like your potato product it all comes out of the butt
trailers I’ll be right back
isn’t that taking the gym all right well it’ll be interesting to find out if this is a worse or better podcast than the TPP I’m a big fan I have that podcast this is been a long day I don’t know I don’t know we’ll see I don’t know I think it’s going to turn out that my happiness is linked to the show’s failure that’s just my cynical Theory could be with Steven Tyler joke might have made the joke Less Fun it will see what happens what time is it is I’m glad I showed up I wasn’t supposed to be here but what you have until you have to come in because you’re Gary shambling and let’s bring up Steve
oh yeah you got to love it or leave it
EJ the face
looking guy weather
Robin Hood sweater Robin Hood sweater
any changes face why you moving that is very close to you I mean I’m fine with it a bad one of the segments that I loved most of all was the snuggling remember that that things went to an emotional level made me want to go like oh we have a regular segment like if if if somebody comes on you got like you got to snuggle with Steve Levy and he asked you what’s your biggest fear why don’t you snuggle with you right now then why don’t you meet you at why don’t you know he doesn’t have any emotions
oh I love that as a friend is a friend I’m telling you my friend that sounds exactly like a friend as a friend then
give me a moniker like that that Wikipedia is sucking all month man fuck off PP assholes satisfyer your fucking beards full of dicks you is that the show title sticks in his beard is bigger better bigger better kiss me on Monday to full of dicks. Not beard full of dicks already given me know.
what are the arrow Twilight to bed I’m not a cheap Epp and said you you made it cheap Epp who me and you look at me I don’t know who makes the title the title fix it Chris I didn’t meet up word spelled right wasn’t there something on this exact same issue what was it what was the word there’s a made-up word that Dan was insisting was spelled wrong and Rob was getting mad about it friend could have been emotions might as well been a motionless person
no you you are and the friend I just went by that one in your grades are as a non-friend you’re just lying just didn’t attend and see how this works. They’re going to cuddle
play play the play the
I can play at 8 how are you going to answer how you doing you know it’s your birthday this week no no sorry give me the dog music and play it to your phone then we want dog dog sign language dog songs
State Levy and Dan and I’m assuming
cuddle positions
how you doing then
haven’t seen you all week and it’s nice to see you so just see you too did you have a nice time away
yeah it was good but
you miss Cody I did but
I guess not enough like we kind of like she felt like I wasn’t connected enough while she was gone I’m sorry to hear that I was proud of you working out though thank you you in up in your in your in your weight lifting
I was good I’m worried that none of this is
flying in the face of Rob’s allegations of my emotionally ask him ask him what he’s he’s right of
Dan what’s your biggest fear spiders Arachnophobia spiders I wouldn’t be afraid of arachnophobia
what’s what what kind of spiders
fast ones
what are you afraid they’re going to do to you run up my arm and Clairol in my ear and lay eggs or cover my face bite me all over my face
yikes
what are you afraid of spiders I don’t know that I am afraid of spiders really I kind of invite them to jump on me in the off-chance the Radioactive
you got to be honest seriously feels like a big fucking game do you do you know how I want to be snuggled by a goddamn performer theme how did not even look at a little little little little town I’m accused of being emotionless but really what I am is a fucking stud finder for human emotion like I detected your artifice leveled with you and you just found another stud Steve Levy in the butt what’s your greatest fear Steve
oh my God so beautiful
if you’re listening to the podcast let us know how this translates
Robin thrust angle
Jesus Jesus Jesus
hey ya damn you suck is this didn’t work I didn’t do it I think I was there to 2nd and Back Again
I think Dan pretty emotional before I tell him about it
what’s the different times I mean what time what is necessarily where is emotions on his sleeve so where does he wear them
in my work where they benefit people you know I express them I wear them on the page or more intimate things to do for someone than to build an Empire as convenient
you know
hi I have the ability to unplug
my heart from dangerous situations and
I’ve encountered a lot and I’ve survived and
I think that my instincts are always right about who to open up to and who not to how important Dan is your friendship to shroud how much does that mean do you like no not just in the past but like present and forward
well like I like 125 xr8 like dollar value describe the importance of it
50 g o u didn’t want
all right what are you what do you what do you mean describe you distress this is only just starting me the importance of this is Tommy really awkward told me pretendo no soliciting if I can drive us there we weren’t broadcasting this what is the value of shrub in your life
I don’t think you have to answer that
Schreiber is a is a metric of a video
of how what’s I don’t know if it’s a it’s a it’s a heartwarming moment that I have saved in my phone of you guys we were editing community and I don’t remember how it came up but yes I didn’t like actually hung out in a while and you missed each other and you and you guys just had a very loving long embrace you hugged and that it may have an eye camera we don’t have very often say some of your about to you about to say something. Something like that with everybody laughs at like tribes of metric of of my life like he’s he’s been there the whole time that doesn’t sound like friendship because I guess he’s been there the whole time that sounds like that sounds like a handicap talking about his wife or something
not too far off and disappeared when a wave moves away like this was hired this is so close that happening in a real old papery hands took over and he just he just he just turned into dust and evaporated what would be what would you feel if missing from your life of shrub just cease to be here your friend
Schreiber would be missing for you then there was that mean what what what what would that vacancy be
PGA be the guy that you know it’s like
it’s like your brother you know that guy’s he’s been there the whole time like so it’s like yeah yeah I’d be a bummer for sure be a bad thing
please stop talking everyone just stop out of your mind gives eplin lost its drums you know the Milwaukee like Midwest withholding people that you guys
were raised as but let’s see. I know the feelings run deeper than just that things that run deep don’t yeah they don’t also run shallow I think they should be expression like maybe and I Still Waters or something what are you going to have a parade every day every day Disneyland how how how how how deep do those Roots Run has a fucking craft fair with a fucking do not see Mouse being sold as of earrings do you know friendship is a you know somebody’s there all the time like what goes away or if I were you you know like what you know what what it would have bacon didn’t exist I’d be happy if I Disappeared but you know if you love bacon
I don’t
how do you feel about bacon Rob I don’t like you don’t like it makes me sad
well anyways what you guys are everybody’s looking at me like I’ve been wanting to end this little play D&D we’re at Henrico but do it I I just thought maybe you guys would tell each other you love each other I don’t even tell my mom I text my mom Happy Mother’s Day maybe sometimes
you know I don’t need anything but I love you mean I love you is for four girlfriends
I love everybody
I hope Richie B B B B B B B I like it or if I don’t like it I love you t p p p l equal how many pints equal I vote for I love you g PPP there I said it I love you g PPP that would be the title is do you know so little of you not being able to tell Rob that you love them I love you I love what I like why why am I always tired of me being emotional and less like what where did I think you started it
free reign to be mean to people but that’s crazy I don’t I don’t I don’t do anything to Rob do not argue not good at good at anything alright well congratulations
drink anything just adding a fart sound to every movement is it’s like it’s it’s a great laughter or just the latter being me for twenty years this fucking guy like like just every fucking meal every goddamn lights we don’t eat it like well that’s why the fly to is underrated and I take a bite and it just feel like he’s just that I’m like stop okay I get it it’s a fart sound when I eat like I guess you think I’m fat or whatever like I don’t know I’m saying whatever you’re eating is making fart noises while but I figure it out it was all in good fun really didn’t have anything
do with the fly to it just you know I just I thought it was funny as I thought it was really funny how upset you got yeah I get it I’ll get you guys so upset about like racism and end in people dying all over the world end
that’s that’s interesting I find it if I find I find it amusing and it’s like a salacious crumb dude what is what you just sent out I got the free iPads and I and I owe you so mean to me like like like look at it look like do that rashomon like fucking imagine me like I didn’t listen I came to I was like
$5 where do I are coming in my house so you want something to drink or you talkin to me
take care of you and I hope you don’t believe this I’m the villain he came over he got the idea who invited me and you and you on the plane I just got done playing on the plane he goes well why don’t you buy a house that would be really nice that’s a good way for me to decide whether or not I want to pump down to my neck and I like the small egg is when I hold it is it’s not heavy but the bigger one it’s it’s heavy looks it’s heavy but maybe maybe for you it won’t be as heavy I’ve got two of them so it’s really not that bad just want to go then and then and then I text him I go hey did you can I can I try out that
that is a dead iPad Pro yeah we’re at the rest again come on down okay cool I’ll go down there everybody at the table goes by Rob by Rob by Rob hi Rob how you been
it was a great day and then it’s 11:30 I don’t feel like drinking right now I don’t have my iPad so I guess I’ll be on my way to work on my fucking Green Goblin glider already got my iPad and I said before you left I said do you have the right charger for it and you’re like what what are you talkin about and I’m like the charger I don’t know like a Cuban you’re like the thing that goes with thing and I’m like yeah but it’s like I just want to make sure cuz it’s an iPad Pro and it won’t like if you if you just use a regular thing as use for a phone it’ll charge slower than it that it uses the charge so I’ve come to learn that you definitely need this thing like you know what let me just go get one of us a
I go upstairs to go find one if she comes up yeah I know and I didn’t have a problem with it I didn’t have a fucking problem with it but I found the thing to you and you’re like oh I got a million of those I’m like okay cool and enemies sat down and then you’re hanging out yeah I didn’t have a fucking problem with that either when it’s standing there in my underwear and then you sat there and then I was like do you want me to get you a drink and you’re like what am I a piece of shit piece of shit I don’t like no I’m offering you get your drink what you want to hang out I’m in my fucking underwear but I’ll fucking get you a drink and we’ll hang out cuz you’re my friend you know like that like like cuz I’m down to clown
and Anna and I fucking like I got to go get the fucking ice in the drain of fucking like this is I’m like fucking bilboa like it once you’re in the Shire your fucking you’re my guests like course let’s sit let’s talk tell me about the world tell me about tell me about the memo what’s going on with the memo I’m like I don’t know what the memo was thinking then Cody comes in and then you saw Cody and you’re like what the fuc why don’t you tell me Tony was your NyQuil because it doesn’t matter it’s like cool like whatever I roll with the flow I like I fucking love my friend I chill you sure you do you want to charge you right now from my perspective like all I’m doing is like serving and protecting and fucking and then Cody fucking gets too tired to talk about the memo and goes to bed and then after a while ago I said I said you characterize as me like giving you some brush off I was like it was like I was like like man I really wish I could help you right now
quicksand but I don’t want to get my hands dirty and say that I’m going to back away could you show me a branch no I didn’t I didn’t your right yeah I really must be nice to be and it wasn’t it was okay if you’d said man this isn’t the first time I you come to the door in your underwear and let me in and have a drink at 9:38 sounds like a good friendship is having a fine time until until I realized that you were like the whole time going to stay here that’s it would be here when did you realize that you said
when I say I’m going to post make bread fucking food over I ate the whole sandwiches while I ate the sandwich it’s been hours of my time going to go I’m going to go back and be with my girlfriend now it sounds like you but but you’re my friend and I want to be able to help you I wish that you know why white but want and then and then also will you do the show tonight you know like I just fucking like Gollum with his fucking iPad is I guess I’ll do a show at all that was a terrible guy that’s going sometimes people take me to shoot seriously you know it’s like the guy is like a guy she’s a sweetheart I don’t know about that don’t even sound like
and you’re like yeah you know like what I can’t have a relationship with my mom like you have me put on ours then I would be and then I would be doing just great but I’m just seeing you you’re you’re a poet you’re an artist you guys should go and Mom’s Whopper
makes it sound like it call me cheap Epp and that was your fault your fault who ass whole read it doesn’t like me what’s your nickname
DNR but your nickname and I’m chasing paper you fucking cock
Cliffhanger thank everybody for coming to Hermantown fishing with lady that is
fancy my truck here for $5 a month you can find out what this looks like her Flex Sig with you everybody. Begley the rabbit Rob I’m just able to comptroller play secret menu game at home and church we love each other clown your marriage he said he would it do you to hold him to that will send us some juggling balls at clown nose is
pictures of rainbow wigs check out this collaborative put movie clip attack
why would you
guy who played on Jeff Davis I love you I’ll drive fast Monday

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