Episode: 283 – Necrophilia Questions

Episode

Episode: 283 – Necrophilia Questions

Description

We have a lot of questions about Necrophilia. Dan answers a lot of questions about his underwear and debates the morality and accuracy of veterinary medicine, while Jeff has a creative solution for man boobs. Featuring Dan Harmon, Jeff Bryan Davis, Spe…

Transcript

Hey Kevin I leave the key under the mat you know this but I got to get the key I’m coming supposed to keep calling free legs so you can go under my mat and open the door you’d like that wouldn’t you then I wouldn’t make your quota god dammit
we even doing here it’s it’s it’s springtime shut the door lock the door
Ike Ike I killed a guy I didn’t know that he was allergic to bees I killed him look truth be told I heard that he might have been allergic to be but he’s been mean to be is for most of his wife and I am going to die cuz I only have like about 4 minutes to live Kevin you.
tell me a God damn why are we designed this way it doesn’t make it any evolutionary since your majesty yeah Hey Kevin stung someone and he died that’s what happens
yes it is it’s hard to be a b
your voice has gotten deeper
no it hasn’t it’s always been like this
we should play be ping pong okay
tank tank tank
Kevin you guys should play a new game that bees play
okay it’s called B & B
yeah it’s hard to improvise the end of us catch right like I mean it’s okay it’s it’s easy to improvising but don’t know how do you end one
wait say that again how do you end the how do you end an improvised sketch New York
umami
tell you this
courage McKennan to Dayton
Tommy Hilfiger party corners and Nugent institutionalized policy
bring up camera bag harmontown is now in session
Frederic Remington I’ve got baby the couch are welcome to take dirty there he was happy and that’s cuz you was talking to me the mayor of her image and Dan Harmon everybody
oh yeah and then should I should have been the format should I do like this
in the format used to be like that come off the stage and then you walk down like you’re you’re Steve Martin we need like sexy music that will actually just juices were working this out she would do and try to do another sketch and then so that we can end it and I’ll run off and I will restart the show okay so how we doing right now what are we doing we’re going to just start the sketch over and because it’s really just an important will just live from New York on Saturday Night Live original okay let’s go back to my iPad
all right for those of you were listening you know it’s no worse
we all know let’s let’s totally down can you throw them up totally full life really fast and then we could blink
somebody in this room is a murderer
it wouldn’t be the guy whose guts are hanging out of his abdomen know that’s that was a murderer e
but when we kill people we we die to our Stingers rip out
why are you
the only be in this room with a stinger clumsily taped to your butthole who
live from New York it’s Saturday night
Sarah Huckabee Sanders on the show tonight
call Jess
The Host
Special K
damn
oh yeah
drop a rap beat harmontown and
you know I’m Bobby Moynihan
I understand that a lot because of the reason why I was asked to host a lot of times Bobby Moynihan door Kenan Thompson will come out and stand next to me and then we’ll go into a musical number
remaining listen guys for the last time I’m not going to do a song a rap song
yo yo yo yo
I’m a special guy going down the riverbed
man making s’mores for me
Alec Baldwin
Alec Baldwin you’re not a hair loss like that word that’s awesome to hear Alex hair loss alopecia hair loss
step to the right time to do it in your undies tonight
I didn’t have a different outfit so I took off my clothes Tina Fey
sexual harassment tonight there’s no commercials cuz you’re at your subscriber there might be a might be funny fake commercials yes I know right into a fake funny commercial right now you guys do the fake funny commercial on my armpits that’s so wet hey it’s me your armpit hairs I’m getting from your armpit hairs whether or not you know this your armpit has it from Brooklyn I am peristalsis
we started a Kickstarter GoFundMe thing for you so you get to work are you getting taken care of if we get sweaty armpit hairs what kind of product you got there and you piss powder oh what’s that it’s a proud of you put in your armpits so I don’t fucking drown to death and your weird disease armpits went and you just find it yourself do I have to go online to start biking start button for the crowdfunding stuff for you guys that must take three or four clicks of a mouse you try being a just a hair and try to click a mouse no
I hope you die you piece of fucking human shit okay I will just kidding Gold Bond powder you don’t need to have that I’ve been his click on a mouse anymore flood
what happened to the no to the police look at the photo I can still photos I can treat like the pose of that. Dan Harmon
I got to watch that is now in session all right but that is mostly based in copyright infringement we’re not going to emulate the losers in the institutionalized, the game we could try that I have a killer Miss Swan does anybody know
I mean I was there a was there a iconic opening to Mad TV
I think they go like why are you mad
like I already scheduled just not that if people were impressed by that cuz they did that for 15 Seasons like he’s always getting mad but that’s what that’s a pretty amateur saying strange teisco kids and improv like they tend to want to fight or dance and where props
you got to you got to encourage him to come out of their shell so the idea that fact that every MADtv sketches of someone getting mad good idea for a theme but but not not a feat one of the sacrifice they are making musically
what did I miss over the last two days I was up in the Northwest I just been sitting sitting sitting outside with is he alive is he good news is recovering is he all right he’s doing good I mean it’s like like
going to deal with all this like shame you know like when you own a dog which I don’t have kids so why do people have kids last I checked like at least four billion of them had them and like Glick Glick got to be worse when it’s a kid but it just sucks cuz like your dog starts acting weird and then you got to choose whether to take them to the vet and then once you take him to the vet just now and it’s like it’s not their fault I’m sure the veterinary industry is not the fucking is not flush with cash and I’m sure the doctors that are funneled into it are wonderful people and I’m sure the technicians that couldn’t be an OB doctors at a veterinarian hospital yet are also great people and I’m sure the people that work at the front desk
that can’t even be technicians that can’t even be doctors that can’t even have human patients I’m sure they’re not five levels beneath normal Humanity there just 5 levels beneath a regular doctor and what is a doctor as we discussed on the show a serial killer with a support system it’s a doctor is a person who’s comfortable cutting things open the people that cut humans open or do I go to look if it’s for the bladder looks like yeah why do they call it Kaiser if it’s pretty you know Kaiser German ya eyes are Kaiser’s from Caesar why are these people doing they’re trying to save our lives they want Eternal empirical rule yeah they want to rule over your health
yeah I mean look there’s no question the doctors know how to help you when you’re sick but you know there’s also no question that doctors are scientists they have to be so they don’t they’re in there not you don’t know what kind of person is drawing to an occupation where you might have to like be next to someone who’s dying all the time or you might as well just sick just just just you know where you are every day you get up and go to work and you’re just going to be nonstop problems and and desperate people like looking for answers that you may or may not have with you always like rolling the dice with the with advice and diagnosis and things that could either make or break your the rest of your life and pay off your student loans like the kind of person that looks at that Minefield and goes like I think I’ll go hang out in there I’m not going to call them a sociopath but I’m also not going to call them probably also coincidentally like the the warmest person in the world like they probably have some pretty heavy fucking emotional armor on them
or as I suspect
they enjoy suffering I love cutting open dogs because the answer is I think that I think that most people follow their I mean like would you go into that field because it didn’t hurt you or would you go to the field because you like that I just think I feel like they like the a little bit here I’m talking about people who are like yes I I see you have a tumor I’m going to cut you open pull it out I’ll look for your lungs as your heart I hope I don’t make it stop beating okay so I’m back up okay by the way my name is Tony see you later I’m going golfing come on serial killer talk about that they have we should have them back like they have jury pouring at the end of each other like looking out gross when I human I don’t like them very much and goodnight like those people are undoubtedly heroics and now you even to know I mean I was willing to show up was it you or your people have like fucking like just falling down on the sidewalk
no one knows what’s wrong with him or hit themselves in the hand with a hammer or a veterinarian in Rick and Morty I can’t remember I think that was a decision that was made during the writing of the pilot and it wasn’t based on your current beef with veterinarians no and I don’t really have a beef with I only have a beef with the species
in general if that witch how can you like I just it’s not really a beef I’m just like come on it’s as plain as the nose on her face like if you’re poor and you are comfortable looking at Gott’s you end up in prison if you’re rich you end up a doctor I don’t know how anyone can argue with that like people go to medical school and then the people that aren’t as comfortable looking at guts as murderers fall down and faint and then they go into research go through like an actual autopsy and watch a cadaver be like you know totally taken apart and the for the for the first time these young students are locked in there and there was two doctors over it and they eat with the students didn’t know that he was a dead human being
and they lined it with tinfoil and filled it with SpaghettiOs and when students walked in there was eating out of the chest cavity and eating SpaghettiOs out of it and half the students ran out bar fainted or whatever and that’s a little joke get get used to not caring about the insides of people you know that’s great that they’re noticing that they’re sociopaths them having free time makes them want to have fun that way but so other thing you could do with your free time if you’re a sociopath is learn empathy like you’re a smart you learned all of the anatomy like you learned how to how to turn your stethoscope into a bong like maybe to give him some give him some seminars about humanity and stuff and like how how people that don’t become doctors think and feel like we’re not good with people
look at you in the way that you sit in the things that you say or the things that are wrong with you you touch something it that’s cold you think it’s hot like we’re looking at your brain are the only want to do is it was zombies we we just want to take the top of your head off and poke around in a big bowl of toothpaste which is your brain like we’re not good with people we just like solving the brain puzzle like if you if you were good with people you probably wouldn’t be good at showing up ahead and poking around in there so I’m saying to him and then you know it’s probably a technician it’s probably not even a doctor I don’t know if the doctor is going to have it yeah it’s like I talked to 3 different doctors have a phone over the 3 days that night it was at the hospital it’s like the bottom line is filled with a lot of toxic shame like I took my dog to the hospital because he wouldn’t stop trembling and vomiting he was vomiting like so much
at the equivalent for his size would be like you know like
did the middle yeah I like like all across the stage except for yours area and Spencers area like that much which is you know like I was like geez I mean what you know it’s time to go to the hospital I just never peeped that much and and and he already had his issue with where he had the you know they had to pull out a clump of grass out of his intestine or did they have to we’ll never know you know I don’t like fans of the podcast will recall that story The punchline of it is we are left to wonder for the rest of our lives should we have let the dog pass this giant clump of grass or would that a perforated his intestines on the way out cuz it was moving so slow it was almost not moving at all do you wait for your dog to try to fit that out his ass hole and possibly cause permanent damage to him or do you cause permanent damage to him by cutting him open and pulling it out that’s what we opted to say this is Nigel second surgery second time he’s been cut open by humans that he trusts and In-N-Out
just it in this time there was nothing in there there was it was it was it was you know he was inflamed his stomach they x-ray his stomach and it got its really big do you think there’s something in there did he eat anything that might be trapped in there cuz it’s like his stomach is gigantic and you said he’s been puking a lot so like we think there’s something in there and I said well he needs a lot of stuff so x-ray show us a thing or not if they know it doesn’t do a lot of things as they condescendingly told me the guys I’ve even literally said I said are you sure it could could is it possible it could be just inflammation that is make his you’re saying his stomach is big and even know why I said that I didn’t go to fucking medical school I was just it’s just like you cuz I don’t want to cut my dog open twice in a year and so I just I was just almost like it was just it was just like you think it could be another reason to stop his because what they said they were using logic at midnight in an animal hospital so I’m thinking I probably don’t have the fucking Sherlock Holmes of animal doctors right or maybe it’s the fox Mulder Maybe
so fucking smart about diagnosing animals that they did that people call him spooky doctor McGillicuddy in like make them work at midnight cuz you’re so fucking good at figuring out what’s going on but they were scratching their head your. Your dog’s stomach is huge and you said he just puked like the size of a pool table and and so his stomach should be small right cuz he puked all that but I’m like this is can I be a doctor and I was like what is it possible that the reason the stomach is large is because it’s irritated is that a thing and the the technician I think it was a technician I don’t think it was a doctor I don’t know the difference like like like like honestly I perceived them looking at me like I was an idiot like yeah well x-rays don’t pick up information so that wasn’t an answer the answer that could have saved my dog a lot of pain was as possible
I didn’t ask if x-rays picked up inflammation it’s like when you when you go to the bank when you used to go to the bank and the people to take yeah the computer says no are you just looking to do with his rage and go like this isn’t the computer interaction this is a human interaction I’m asking a human being a question stop pointing at your computer but you know God damn well if your computer told you to jump out the fucking window you would you would you would Pat it on the side you would go like what’s wrong with it if it just this fits the screen flickered which it might and sometimes does you wouldn’t go a time to kill myself like you’re being lazy and you’re and you’re being kind of sending it to pick up information I didn’t I didn’t ask if they did I asked if his stomach could be enlarged because of inflammation as opposed to a foreign object like we do we think he ate a bowling ball
that’s why I just said I just and I just think just saved my dog save my dog so that the earliest absolute possibility like I’m like a doctor called me on the phone then if you stay there all night and she goes yeah it’s like the X-ray his stomach is he’s getting a little worse stomachs getting I don’t know if there’s something in there it’s not moving so like maybe there’s nothing in there maybe it’s inflammation
Anna Anna Anna Mike but I’m talking to doctors now I don’t like I’m like okay so if there’s something in there is Isis like like like last time there’s a clump of grass I was moving real slow I just like yeah if this is it this is a foreign object so you said he eats a lot of pornography and they give me three choices
endoscopy there’s another choice that was like an Indus copy was like they put something down his nose or something like the both of those choices involved keeping him the way he was in getting more information which now that I know I made the horrible as most fucking awful Choice like I just I want to cry like big but they don’t they don’t recommend anything you ask them do what do you recommend you know and they might as well stay out while ago I don’t want to get sued your dog
yeah yeah they took so this whole system is based on two things total disrespect for the Layman and total Bergen on the Layman with any kind of fucking risk late like like like we think you’re an idiot because we went to two years of of of dogs school or something and and But but so there’s that which is true I’m two years dumber than you or whatever the fucking associate’s degree you have that Mika has you working at midnight at a veterinary hospital and anybody who’s watching who’s going like my cousin works at the veterinary hospital I’m a veterinarian I take your personal story I just shove it all the way up your fucking dumb ass because like the fact that something is connected to your life doesn’t mean that you’re outraged and it doesn’t mean that you have anything to contribute to the conversation otherwise every time people were stupid or had to deal with stupid people I’d I’d lose my fucking mind because I’m a fucking expert in that okay so shut the fuk up I don’t care if your veterinarian in you’re a fan of the show
you’re disappointed in my fucking clothes minded shit it’s closed minded because I fucking upset and shut the fuck up stick your whole life up your ass like stick it all the way up and I hope it hurts going in and then and then don’t like read it through your mouth so that you have a cosmic experience like don’t just then I want you to stumble around your front yard with bandages on your arms where they’re Ivy’s were scaring drug-addled into the fucking Cosmos wondering if the sound of the lawn mower is a threat or not cuz you’re on so many painkillers and you can’t speak English I want you to just like walk around for two weeks like like like wanting to lick a bandage on your stomach that you had everyone keeps telling you not to and then finally just like like like finally have to take a big diamond plated fucking serrated shit out of your of your own head and your own life out of your stupid ass I’m in fucking pain and so is my dog so shut up I fucking hate veterinarians
myself I hate I just filled with hate and I went to my therapist and I’m like I’m filled with hate okay I’m filled with rage and shame
and she’s like well do this and I’m like okay
I and I cried a little like good she’s like well just Yoshi’s is yell at the chair like Clint Eastwood lake lake lake I’ll come sit next to you like she’s like okay to veterinarians in the chair and go ahead and yell and I go I’m not going to yell I might even Sarah Peter stop yelling you fucking nuts lately glycogen and she’s like what I do for you to handle your emotions are like like wool I’m not going to you may think it’s cute or therapeutic to to yell but I’d I don’t I’m not going to I’m not going to yell from you your office is in a fucking apartment building in in Los Feliz there’s a yoga class next door and there’s a I just set up the chair yeah I just farted and it sounded really loud
was it really a fart yeah it was and it was stinky to
then when I want you to do right now I want you to yell at Spencer’s part I don’t know where it is. Really like it is a psychiatrist upstairs or the other guy that used to be in your bigger Office later it is now in your Big Rapids I got a lot of the stuff that I just meant it and then at a certain point yeah I guess if I want to I can go there
and I do that and she’s like okay now now like talk about what’s right underneath that she said how do you feel I said I said I said 1/32 better like like like like like 1:32 with you. Like not even if it’s already filled back up but she’s like what’s underneath that there’s something else cuz it’s if it’s not all ring a gif doing that doesn’t help that means that you got rid of the rage layer what’s underneath there she was right about that I don’t think my therapist has a bad therapist underneath there is a I feel shame because I like I have to take care of this animal like that’s my job to animal can’t express itself I have one fucking job and it’s you. I started explaining why I was ashamed of myself and and I started weeping and and then she’s like now how do you feel and I’m like 2:30 sexy home now a total of 1/16 better
all right and now it’s filled back up cuz she’s like okay what’s let’s go outside she kick your ass
beat the shit out of my sheets but she hit me with it was it was it was it was as they live John Carpenter style fight so it ended up I had to pay extra cuz it was a long yeah I actually paid her extra if you do that put the put the sunglasses on I did it partly because I was like you really think I bet you think I felt like I was a game theory she thinks this is like Good Will Hunting like oh Dan Harmon’s afraid to walk up and down his the sidewalk in his neighborhood in front of Matt braunger and Aimee Mann an Oswald and Edgar Wright Lake getting a coffee and then I am I think I did do whatever she did twice as much as like like wiggling her arms like noodle man and like like walking like they Keep On Truckin drawing of a crime and I like silly Walks Like I just like
okay so you walk silly just like you feel that you feel that you feel that I don’t know man what was you trying to get in your body and there’s like the idea was I cuz I kept saying I don’t know where to put this rage like cuz I have I have a couple holes in my wallet home from 1/5 was sick the cat and cuz it’s like there comes a point where you don’t know how to express like you have rage and shame that you don’t know where to put it it seems like there is no like I’m a very sheltered person like I don’t have a lot of feelings that I don’t know how to get rid of in a proper way but like like intense levels of rage and shame above a certain voltage there’s no I just like I got eyes just like yeah I still don’t you can feel it and feel it in your heart behind your eyeballs in your fists like you feel like you want to beat something
you want to kill what does your Shame about Italy that you let Nigel down Ya by by hiring people to stab him or or or before that are you you you feel responsible for why he got so whatever he got no you found out it was why it wasn’t he didn’t eat something it was like an hour as a condition called IBD but at this point whatever like he’s the things that that that he is sick at home with right now is a fucking stab wound in his stomach it’s not what he went in with what he what he went in with is apparently a condition called IBD I get I don’t know why this order I do I don’t know if that’s what it stands for it’s basically like allergies food allergies like he ate something and it could I think it could build up for a year like so it’s going to walk around with his diet and stuff like it’s that it’s it’s doubtful that he ate it that’s not true at spa
simple that he ate some grass that he ate last time or that that that Arizona some milk thistle or some species of fucking California kumquat that you fucking like found in the backyard and like like it’s possible that he ate one thing that like shocked his system immediately it’s also possible that over a year of having a little bit of chicken or or snail corpse or whatever they get out of that goes this this food got tvd’s and this was got ID kaise and likely I’d be gauged as good as it should be, says he’s drifting from my perspective when your dog eats a bunch of grass that has to have it surgically removed from his from his intestines I think I’ve already heard by now that dogs eat

grass when they’re sick to induce vomiting I’ve also heard that that’s fucking horseshit and that dogs that eat grass and up sick from it please shut up now it doesn’t change anything being told this stuff you’re not really helping anybody because you have a sick dog once I don’t mean you should be ashamed of yourself I just I just just shut up at like like like it’s a fucking dog that starts shaking and vomiting and take him into idiots who are smarter than you and you you’re given a choice between three doors and one has a scalpel on it you choose the scalpel and they cut them open and they got nothing sorry yeah he’s got food allergies so so so now the dogs are you know doggy painkillers and like you can’t touch him without him like crying in like you just you just have to spoon-feed him like little pieces of dog food Little Bear
eat Thursday get like like a little bit little spoonful of a grass
and you have nothing to think about that entire time except what you did wrong are you you can you can run from your mistakes everything else you can you can fix by playing Minecraft you know castle of grass favorite favorite thing in the world 8 grass all day all night and was constantly bummed out and constantly puking like I hate like that I will let you sort this out. You’re an idiot. Dog with little cuz we got the dog in New York
we will be in Central Park and favorite food horseshit the fucking hansom cabs that will go to take married couples down the lane and this dog just love eating just just couldn’t get enough horseshit and I don’t want Harvey duck seem so happy and we didn’t like one stop a dog make me happy but it was really embarrassed because of what is what’s what’s your profit Nigel and Harvey every morning the date they bark at the neighbor’s cat Dash
the cute little cute little black and white cat that I never told my neighbors I accidentally caught in a Humane trap and I was trying to catch a dog food go back and let it go like I was out there was a raccoon and a doggie door you almost murdered their cat by life depending on when it took the bait and that was my prey and it was that guy anyways. Durable outdoor cat named Dash if you can’t get out of a fucking trap
anyways when I’m working out in the morning they bark at – task of making fun of it cuz I’m like whose God saying to the cat will I just realize what they say to the cactus I’m talking to Allison the dog sitter about like with Nicki she’s like she’s like you know that they fucking they love going out in the front yard cuz they do the cat ships out there and I take the race each other to the cat shit like they were barking at the cat to the front window up there like they’re like the only got the Wells Fargo wagon
raisins from Fresno
they’re all up in that ketchup they can run out to the spot where you shift said they fight over it like Raptors what’s what’s in that cat food at sodalicious I think that hot dogs because they smell so intensely you have to think you do the backwards math and that means that if they could smell shit which they surely can’t cuz we can’t they smell the ingredients in there that they have two noses that could smell the concern of a of a poodle an hour away and it was that can smell their way home to 22 if they if there if there is a get trapped in a U-Haul or whatever the stories are they can smell of forest fire in in in Utah and so we can smell turd so sad that guys like while they’re going to go nuts about the turds they’re going to just kill themselves like their nose will explode so then he’s like well I mean I really want these things by their nose
watch is making love it
weather there like let me stick check out that asshole don’t you think I can see it like Barbara Cody’s dog came over by the way. Come over surgery they’re constipated constipated in air quotes because he just doesn’t want us to take a shit he’s going to he’s going to fucking knife wound in his stomach but long story short he’s got a fucking little Diamond tip turd like like you can see it if you look like Barbara comes over and she got hurt come on I don’t like other dogs get another dog shit. Dogs that were raised in puppy mills dogs eat their own shit if they have you sign of abuse because they because they don’t like shitt where they eat so
dogs that are forced to shoot where they eat eat their shit to keep the specially mother dogs to keep the puppy mill cage sanitary it’s really sad if you if you if you get a dog from eating its own shit when you but you know that’s a red flag with like it’s learned that behavior or his personal experience, you a dog that likes to eat and shit the most German Shepherd
100
oh I didn’t oh my God
holyshit he’s been under unchai ppp’s can we can we end this now reasonably price again
what is that iPad says they’re going to description
I love you love Steve
a what
when you order it I bet you can you can fill out an inscription thing in the lake but why did it free why did it become I love you love Steve that at that smacks of some there was a like a little redundancy thing there like I filled out a joke and then then Steve also did right and it’s it’s like if you put by Dan and then it’s like by Dan again cuz it automatically puts that I don’t know why Steve did that I love you he could have done a lot of different things could have done
he could have got a V8 I have a question
am I released from this this fucking weight
can I can I can I have my life back. Something, your dogs in your Instagram commenters can you call them off please now that I’ve given your property Bill allowing the oven to to to try it out and sucks on it no it doesn’t it don’t even start I’m trying to end this this this this cruel it says I actually am at eppp crazy why would you even do that I didn’t do that and we know you are a person owning Spencer you know I don’t like that word stop it
it is one word and and I want it I want it I want it words is one word and I want this to be over with will you please set me free let me can you unshackle me with it can you do that can you answer the ritual of some cleansing that we can go through on shackle me can I get Unshackled because I’m famous for my control over my fans and my fans are famous for loving me and then they do what you tell them to their famous for listening to what you say and agreeing with it I’m kind of a quick sand trap because people shrub you all the time cuz I don’t mind that I actually like that because they always do it wrong and I find it entertaining
it’s hard to Schreiber write a shopping funny tweet something me to Stone before we need something out now in the like you don’t have to actually type it like a tweet Metro like a vocal to eat right now and then we’re going to try to get up a drama is hard to Shrub things right why don’t you just read one of my tweet hey everybody come and watch harmontown perfect oh are you going to be at harmontown
yes there is that him doing it wrong or is this just a show I bet I don’t know maybe and I dropped it a try but it depends Sherlock I just got this new stack of betamax tapes
did you get anybody to Minis
there you go
do you see the difference that’s pretty good but I get it so you need to blah blah blah I think what you’re saying is is it that you people try to people try to be they try to they try to reduce new wants to formula and it didn’t work they just don’t know how to do it right it’s about time it’s about it’s picking the right
tweets I’m watching wait Predator you’re like a jaguar and a limb can’t just do any Straub watch and wait Predator however so I will say to you thank you for bringing the iPad back I wouldn’t I I I I I you you would establish that you weren’t using it anyway so it is I appreciate you you bringing it back otherwise I would feel a little bad cuz I just want you to be happy and I would do anything to ensure that you keep coming back to the show because it’s been very helpful to me going through a transitional phase is my own I like having you here then a good friend of mine for a very long time and if anything were to happen to either of us without me having expressed that
it would be I don’t have to do is Cadence around like Richard Lewis when I’m expressing affection in my red glass but you know he does that like I I ripped the phrase cheap Epp it was insensitive
it it it and it it’s it’s reduct productive East Texas and it’s been it’s been Now co-opted by some of the worst kinds of people people who like to see others others feel pain a basket of deplorables I can’t think of a worse word to apply to another human being.
because it’s so false
I think of you as a very magnanimous sure animus
see you like that you like that Meme birthday and you had people that you like for Forever on your birthday and you showed some stuff that you’re proud of like old shit and you did I do what did I do to mail Harris Sarah and you a dick to Sarah Sarah Silverman here
because Rob’s very sensitive you know joke writers go to negative play so like like roast jokes of the funniest jokes so they but Brian’s very sensitive person so I’m just going to do I was going to try to roast raw butt in a positive way and then he he did a whole set of like just jokes about Rob is so such a good person and blah blah blah and I was like it was really really funny because it is it was it was actually even to me even more abusive because he was calling you a pussy kid gloving you which is actually out great way to get to to hurt someone very deep and true is anybody on the tape of the roast for your birthday then that we did that Armenian restaurant in the valley this ever happened
I’m sure it’s not say I’m sure it’s not, he doesn’t age well but it was funny about it which is the thing that we do remember is that I turned Thirty we had a roast and we specifically one shows up for like wool why do we want anyone to show up all we want to do is is have a dais leg like we don’t care so I was like three like plus ones I like like like like like why my husband’s girlfriend’s like who were it like I had to sit there next to a salad bar in the back of the Serbian restaurant and watch 10 guys like just hit themselves laughing while they will lie for no reason at all into a microphone cuz there was no one to address accept each other and facing an empty room like like just did did did roast jokes about the tradition it was a joke
I do that tape exists to do we know if anybody hasn’t I don’t know I have to imagine that if it existed filled with the homophobia and racism in the donnellys a roast with it’s a roast from 15 years ago and it said it and it wasn’t made for television so I’m sure if we found it but for our own purposes of the general public I’m saying do we have the disease that you’re like I wonder if that tape exists and immediately leaving to the world would hate it I like our friendship can watch it and then burn in a trash can after work or just keep it and wait till it’s funny again in 50 years ago when it’s what you caused me to be called a gay joke
it was a joke was just that everyone was gay and then it turned out to be true I get it you’re joking by Chris Tomlin is Ikea Chris, Jen has a jog Chris Thomas band with the ladies Chris with all of her friends we have a betting pool going on what’s going to last longer your virginity or Saturn
I saw a quiet place you hear about this Quiet Place movie and heard about it but then I forgot about what it’s about what is it has been a quiet place there’s like I’m right there it’s in like like I don’t know I think it’s like 20 is like it’s like in 5 years the world eaten by the first half-hour of it is Sign Language sign language in Whispering it is really effective it’s really I really enjoy the question after question about it at the sci-fi horror fan like a big rules guy you know we talked a lot about zombie movies with Kirkman and like so I’m and I’m not I’m not going to say it if if the answer is yes
do that the movie sucks or whatever but it but I just like I what I will do is throw a parade if the answer’s no are there in consistencies in the rules of these things I eat like a lot of times in movies like that where there’s rules that are so clear-cut it’s like is there a scene where the person is like in the corner and it’s like
India ideas of fully person is like making their breath dramatic but it’s like will come on you did a whole scene earlier about how I would literally a pin dropping could have brought them I thought it was them but you might watch it and go hey tribe I can hear her breathing you know I thought it was very consistent I thought it was a very simple rule to this creature is that the you make any noise I usually spend a long time setting up the world before they ever introduce a other thing is it’s like they’re walking around Barefoot there’s days like these pre-made sand pads stepping on twigs and it is a great is a great monster this new which I really like to get to see him before the white with you
look at him you know how to rob that you’ve been asked to make a sequel to it called don’t make a pee pee
is there a certain crying right now would you feel bad that would be awesome would you laugh I’d laugh. I can’t wait to see it Isle of dogs
stop Wes Anderson yeah I kind of agree with I can’t remember is Lauren Duca like tweeted like while I want to see a movie about animals but then a list of like is there going to be a minute just seems like a setup for a fucking heartbreak like it’s a really good I really liked it a lot I think you is at starburn co-owner might want to check it out cuz it’s I thought it was just beautifully designed and it’s pissing off putting stuff you know with with dog I just am very sensitive to that so but I think it’s done or is it animation stop-motion animation and they do a bunch of stuff up front that that I kind of was like like and I think they’re saying like this if you brought kids to the she should probably take him out
but the voice town is great I just think it is a beautiful well-designed. I mean like The Furs all moving it looks
clunky I mean I get psych I don’t know if you saw the mr. Fox movie that he did admit that I haven’t seen it yet because the guy I would have offended that I would have been working with I think is is that now has to take the movie Tigers doing for us the bubbles movie it’s co-director was the co-director of mr. Fox I haven’t seen mr. fantastic Fox man I’ve never seen it I love I love stop motion animation I just left the model building I think it’s just really great it’s amazing became Segways the reason why I T T world’s most sought-after director you know of course is next movie is for me and well after a quick
pop over the progress he’s going to make his amazing like Hitler movie but the but he’s going to be amazing it’s going to be pretty
I said that his description of the movie like to me like maybe crushed really jealous for the first time in a long time of a of another guy my age it’s like like I was just like I said you’re just fucking doing what you want like I really like made me spiritually jealous as opposed to like oh he has a Tesla you know I was like like a fucking creatively jealous of someone like like you just finished your Thor movie and now you’re going to go make this fucking thanks I think people are going to be blown away by Michael Jackson monkey movie over here I know I know the chimpanzees or Apes not monkeys put your fucking life up your ass man
write Us in until a shity veterinarian has to cut it out and see how you feel right Us in if chimpanzees aren’t monkeys in the election of it look like they look exactly like my mean yeah let’s just call all my money’s for chrissake didn’t know what I meant why is language so living exactly what the week we’re going to evict it by this piece of shit Studio starburns I don’t know who’s running this fucking place but we’re leaving starburns castle and we mentioned it last week and if you can’t hear the Silent Cries of the audience were not allowed to have in here believe me they’re they’re happening in The Ether with that goes to be from our sex, what’s the next step for us was excited about it we tour to place I don’t know I don’t want to speak out of school so I’ll let you know we went over there and looked at it it’s kind of down
yeah it’s kind of down but honestly I’ve met with an agent and he’s like if you guys going to space does its place and it’s the same place okay yeah I mean I always popping though I don’t know why it would be secret but I just in case I don’t want it rhymes with no it does it right we’re going to the same as lying it’s not that we haven’t locked it down yet and don’t say Staples Center will be excited what would be excited to be able to come see us even if it was in a shithole this place is not a shithole it’s it’s really nice and it’s it seems like it’s for its you know it’s bits run my good people and our next home very likely will be like like you know a rebirth of this show as a as a as a not what it was at meltdown like a new is like we were something at meltdown and then we came here and we’ll take kind of building to god-knows-what and then collapsed into this cocoon phase where we found out we don’t care if anyone
is in the audience which is a cool thing to find out but the reason it’s cool is because it allows you to miss the audience and then maybe we can now go in front of an audience again in like not be I won’t be as fucking maybe I can be a little more Spalding Gray a little less pain while I remember this. We have to talk about we’re doing a show in Boston OSHA it Friday June 22nd will be through Wilbur Theater it’s going to be a wicked pissah it’s going to be probably going to be his calling at the most retarded show coming to that publication they use that phrase and they mean good on 125
is it has five retarded people on this is my town and show it’s going to be Wicked to probably some pizza and see you there before it’s really really fun when you have we been we’ve been at the Wilbur with the show and Adam Weaver Brothers in Somerville Boston proper proper proper we were we were not Wicked or a pizza or achieve independence or or racism
don’t doubt my sister is retarded with a hard-r so also we’re going to be in Long Island somewhere going to be in when they are going to be in Long Island and is Google harmontown Long Island online and do it like a regular garbage mean like red or maybe I shouldn’t it’s a charity event for what
stem cell research science technology education in medicine
which it would do it we’re doing the show we’re pretty sure it’s about women and that’s how we like it so I kind of like you can’t go too wrong so we can talk about going to the Moon by Pink Floyd look at the ceiling and we’re going to bring pot
brownies with the lighting crew and see what the week and we’re going to get there early and work with the Lighting Group. See what we can do and also if you’re naked Rob tribe has some T-shirts
oh yeah
teepublic Rob schrab Home Video new t-shirt design came out last week what does that say Chinese Mervyn
really burning up the charts the proceeds go to purchase a Chinese murder van to get rid of the Mean Streets of Burbank all proceeds go to benefiting two people in Boston who are truly Wicked retarded right it’s actually it’s kind of like that that charity where they they go to the rescue dogs from like countries that where they where they eat them but like we’re going to China where we want to buy a van one of these Chinese murder Vans good it’s going to be it’s going to be a new show on The Learning Channel called Pimp My Chinese murder everybody knows there’s a constitutional right to own a Chinese Murder band because in America it’s called an ambulance right I reckon it’s called a veterinarian by Rick Astley Rick Ashley
I mean I was wondering like White Rabbit I would joke weird in our twenties I like all we do every once while we delude two as friends do the image of us on a on a porch and rocking chairs drinking lemonade
I’m I’m fine with living this long what’s a creature that beard Robbie are you going to just do something I got my first I don’t know probably the death of it I mean I’m I’m fine mom said mom said you look handsome person of your wife sounds like Howard Stern’s impression of a black person real girly man groovy man I love your at your wife on Starsky and Hutch
I’ve been tripping over your socks every morning Miss happening with my with Cody like she the older I get the longer my hair gets longer my beard gets like the you know she’s she’s just like I like it I headed out of the guy she got bummed out when you cut your beard I was trying to do a little trimming thing and I did one of those things where I shaved too much on why then I try to even it out and you can even hear about all of it on our friend Rob Tantrums upcoming album get engraved graduate with church wants you want me to be an old man but you
Jessie GPS if she goes out of her way to stress me out so I just vibrating alarm so that she can wake up in time to be at the foot of your bed at 3:30 in the morning holding a butcher knife it’s just it’s like watering a plant when you want your man to get white hair she’s just going to gradually like Stephen King you know you explained it to me yes.
have you seen the 9/11 what question do you have what does it time to drink
Coors Light and pop some head crack open a glass of me undies I was talking to a Broadway composer Manuel annihilation
I won’t say Yes I want to know
is Wario Lin Manuel’s Warrior Manuel live in about how the Constitution is bad and he’s telling a story about a guy whatever it doesn’t matter a lot because the history of Broadway was heavily fact that I did the Joker before you go onstage instead of saying good luck no. It’s in the timeline of Broadway Broadway’s ups and downs obviously 911 is a marker in that timeline so I’ve already done it
and coincidentally a Broadway stopped is no Broadway anymore I’m trying to figure that bring something up and I’m like God I wish they’d just let me finish and then something to bring something up then I’m like what’s going to be conspicuous that I don’t finish but I’m glad they didn’t let me finish which one was this ladder the ladder
so let’s do the sketch let’s do the sketch was robbed the post office catch us and then we can go at the live show so it may look part of it but you sometimes people break up they start laughing but those people get fired or or or or stay on the show for 20 Seasons it depends on the weather that what whether they’re popping
come in it’s a post office
excuse me is that the studio I do whatever you want sir okay well we need to weigh it it is it a mock chair a bok choy are you going to look I don’t need to know what it is
sounds like you got a Meteor Man
that’s my best my boss’s office chair it’s a lot of people think that it’s him farting but
no no let’s take that Meteor Man but he would share and it looks like that weighs about five pounds and depending depending on where your mailing that will help you fill out an address form I don’t know why
long long casual but also loud laugh
alright sounded like some of them didn’t like it 30 in there did I didn’t you tell us a pencil
just put your at the address you want to send it to on one side and the address that you’re that you are sending it from on the other side
wow you really right you’re right so magically
cert
this is a this is a series of hash marks
I’m sorry Your call cannot be completed as dialed the wrong with your you have standards for yourself
what do you mean it’s been over here
I’m sorry I was out of here like this you can’t work like this
come in it’s a post office
honey I thought you were going to be home after you mailed your box Cheryl Teague he’s got crazy character it’s crazy that he’s married to a model lady to get you high quality Read sample from sound, like an audio files 12 Cape kbps is Skyping in the sound effects
I want to give you that laugh like a piece together again
okay drop say something funny and then hit the button
when do you know when you’re finished come on press the button. Sorry sorry sorry

I mean
Pimpin me know I’ll take a cream cheese in the middle of a meeting an experiment of some kind of takeover button on this one OK Google Ocean somewhere in New York but people think it might have been a Sam Samsung Galaxy S8 again I mean the the president tweeted today that he wants the country to stop doing bad things when reached for comment he was it Stormy Daniels house
go to the phase one guy isn’t as he slowly realizing that he
the making of a murderer is there a bird sound effects like they’re like look we can’t it’s the same as I can get cheap tune it is going to be some dolphin in it like you
it’s like it’s like how and told her I say use real skeletons yeah yeah yeah that the skeletons for a while they were like I know they got away with it until they were caught selling arms to China
183 episodes do that joke I mean I really would like the outfit you with fry sketch segno I’ve said that you don’t own a terrible idea also I want to say it’s awful but we’re at we’re going to be here for a couple more weeks and running at the shawnees but this is a rare opportunity we’re doing is we’re doing a single-camera podcast and we could we could we could have some fun with this and we’re at the fuck out before I do video bits like like just I’m just saying like audio bits like with that was doing like fake sketches like Arby’s catch like we could have somebody doing like a little soundboard yeah that it with the laughter I like that I did that fine
atom atom bomb of an ideal Dan well
come back
you guys were talking about like cutting open people and cadavers and stuff like that earlier before I remember in the Return of the Living Dead like special features the production designer has goes like Oh I wonder if I can tell this so we went you know Dan O’Bannon and I we went to several funeral homes in Southern California where we were shooting at we for research to see what they look like on the inside of the morgues in the end the end the funeral homes and every single time as we were leaving somebody would run out to the parking lot and go there fucking ever fucking them they’re fucking the bodies every night every night they’re fucking them
so when you die you go to the funeral home and somebody’s probably fucking you
I have I have necrophilia questions and they are not based on shaming anyone because although it’s your head up high deadbeat necrophilia is a tricky area because the rule is a safe easy rule is don’t fuck don’t think shame people but if your King has no victim so tough area necrophilia a dead person has not consented they have loved ones I don’t know like it will also like though if you do if your if your if your fucking a corpse in a funeral home I would you know that’s unprofessional if nothing else we don’t have to go into unethical we can just call it unprofessional it’s like if I fucked up the director’s cut of community in the end of the day it’s like well I don’t know if he’s doing anything bad I just know that he should be working on the show
yeah that’s that’s a good so I’m not judging if you did a few of your listening and you have necrophiliacs necrophiliacs ask look I got I got mannequin legs in my in my home I go sir as we listen to the podcast I’m up. I’m up I could I have Paris sexual Tendencies so you know what it sounds like like click click click like I said I got you like apparent manicure and so it is not normal. You’re a boob Under the Umbrella of pair of paraphilic when you start to like the end of Revenge of the Nerds everyone who’s a nerd come down here if you’re a nerd for any tiny reason and your aunt are 1/10 and everyone is we all
what is normal sexuality that’s what the Kinsey studies words that you know the most useful as well kink like hair so anyways my question to people who aren’t necrophiles or rather not my question to them my question about necrophilia is how does that work is it because they’re cold in there are putting their penis in a vagina which then we go or logistically that doesn’t make any sense to me right but doesn’t make any sense should you masturbate with a mannequin leg is what I’m saying I guess acrophilia is it necrophilia if you like working in a mortuary and you’re like well this person died very attractive now there
blood is pooling on the underside butt and their joints are kind of stiff but you know of what’s afoot and I’m going to rub my dick on the sole of Foot Locker filled here’s a question ask a question to you all right so I like right there free but he’s a winner Master priest somebody is somebody brings in you when they bringing the dead dead body and I’ve decided I’m going to fuck this one today okay perfect pointing is great
do I am but my job is really not to talk to dead people the job is to can you make this
presentable for us to make this look more sleeping than Dead Alive but we need a loved one look beautiful can you do that so my question is do they fuck it before or after do they like you and I do because I like if it’s all the blood pooling is what made me go great I say you did both and that way like you like you like you clean up nice and then user ID that you act like you have an important question questions with when were talking about mortuaries where there’s like an influx of corpses are but but exactly at the same time the whole point of that point of sale is to cheat death in a way to restore lividity to always think so
if if your if it’s if there’s a problem as there is in forgive me Catholics you know like where there be a priest there be problems we found if there’s like Nexus points of is is that properly necrophilia do do necrophiliacs like if you think it’s cool, just telling an anecdote about how they went to a bunch of Funeral Home funeral homes in Southern California and he would made it a point that it was like every single one some intern some personal blower lately I I’m not I’m not forgiving that behavior and call again I’m professional deposit like like at lake lake but I’m wondering though if they’re if I caught him in the act
understand what genuine necrophilia is and if there’s a distinction between that and someone who for instance if I walked by Jeffrey Dahmer like he like he was he was he was drilling holes in guys heads and experimenting with a pouring water and acid and stuff into the hole because he said to the police that his dream was to create what he called a zombie and what I think he really meant by that I’m not a psychologist but and it’s like everybody gets the pilot on this but I think the the popular theory is that what he really means by that is a man that won’t judge him for being gay which he was but he didn’t have a healthy relationship with his gayness and he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t realize that it’s okay to go out and get a drink and tell another dude that what you really want to do is this Earth that like he had a lot of Shame and all the stuff in like he was did he
really want to fuck corpses is that what a necrophiliac really is or is it is it that late cuz I always wondered if there’s an actual genuine necrophiliac of someone’s like like I love Rotting Flesh Isle of dead people I’m turned on by the idea of a dead person is that person offended by all these other yahoos who are basically just like I’m insecure I just don’t want people judging me so I’m going to head out in a mannequin in a store so he could abscond with a mannequin once like he he was he was taking these steps I’m over to my apartment in Hollywood once it was like when I was like starting to become aware of my life fetishes of stuff and he’s like
allowed in your bedroom because that you said I can do stuff and I don’t want you to see a jury stuff that had a lot to do with the intersections between my self-awareness my shame and all the stuff like I came out of the other side a guy who can stay in a podcast you know what I really want is for a woman wearing pantyhose Roberto on my nipple and I got eyes at like Lake and Cody can be like yeah I like doing that to it they did it strengthens my car and then we do other stuff in it nothing to do with you so much like like
the all of it that’s my necrophilia question it’s like people is there such a thing as a person who’s like I want the corpse to be like stinky and bruised your there is that there’s somebody who’s into anything you know they’d be in to roll around in Blood and Guts did your cough too because of that sleep all something to eat people some people want to eat poop a lot of True Crime podcast with Cody we go to sleep on him and there’s a side that that Sunset Strip Killers I think that’s what they’re called I like there’s a couple that were the guy indulging himself in the woman was raised
but she according to her testimony like he would he love to talk like
pay people for sex and then kill them while they were
performing sex on him because he would easily like a sex workers were a big Target for him but then he would according to her he would do shit like he would he would like he took a check a person’s head into the shower with him and he fucked the head and the cop said that they found semen in the the decapitated heads throat and but then the guy
who is like they have them recorded in like giving is like deposition and stuff and he’s like he’s going like so what do you think I did I put a head in a freezer and I and II took a frozen head have you ever heard of rigor mortis sounds like a completely rational person going like yeah what it what do you mean I fucked a decapitated head that doesn’t make any sense but he probably did but he has another lobe of his brain going like that’s crazy why would I give you a hard-on why would you be able to it’s another thing to be able to achieve orgasm to buy the idea that the head is dead not the idea that the heads are going to do whatever you want because it’s no longer judging you I feel like that’s a different shape our things
for a large amount of people under a larger umbrella we would like it’s a more quote on quote mainstream thing to have fantasies about loss of control and about controlling others because we carry a lot of shame in two sacks and so we naturally grow our sexual fantasies over across lines wear for outside circumstances in our taboo imagination I have permission to do this or I have to do that and that’s where you know BDSM kind of like it’s almost at this point post-internet like we can acknowledge that like you know there’s like there’s mainstream which is almost a theoretical construct which is a man and woman getting into their pajamas at night and laying next to each other and then a baby bring brought by a stork and then there’s everything kinky which which which involves people thinking about things that they know they’re not supposed to think about so that they can
reach and scratch itches that they they they grow up thinking are denied them when the truth is with a consenting adult you could actually just say Let’s Pretend This or let’s have you do that my safe word is Apple’s but so it gets my my Fascination and my question is but then that means I think the people who feel free to like meet someone and say let’s kill a hooker Together Like These people aren’t ashamed they’re not later that they’re not living with like all this shame so then when it’s reported that they faxed the head or they they really think they they always killed the person and then sodomized the corpse these are people who actually can’t wait for the Dead part to happen so the answer would be to go back to my original question is that person would do those people who keeps a gunshot wound
LOL I’m going to clean it off anyway I mean that’s the thing is like you’re cleaning up twice if you’re but that’s a different kind of person and I’m sorry if this I don’t know what apologizing to be like I didn’t think about the two you could do a sitcom in the mortuary as I feel like there’s the guy who’s like I could barely contain myself before we make them look alive again and then the other person is like now that we had it all that Rouge I’m like I know now yeah okay
you watch the door the door last time I don’t know how long do their wives and go like I think Ted’s a pervert I think I think it is okay so there’s a yeah you know go for it no, no stop man go for it you know what are you talkin about I see you I see you look checking him out if we lived alone for an idealized Society there would be like I’ve got a good classic like Karate Kid kind of movie where is like is that like but it would be I think it would be like a student-teacher thing where the new guy comes in and he’s like yeah, come on let’s put some let’s put some embalming fluid in these things in like let’s get them dressed up and and and and looking alive because
you know the truth is I got to tell you that we’re having a drink in the back room and I want to I want to fucking corpse and that meant our guys like you want to fuck a corpse know you don’t listen to yourself you can’t wait until it’s pretty you can’t wait until his eyes are closed instead of popped open staring into the dead are you you hate the bruising if you are a real necrophile brother you’d be at the indoor with your hard-on out it’s a little way that you use it and it’s like he learns to be a purist
okay
write it
yeah I was necrophiliacs eBay Reebok will be really given any thought I think there’s probably people that that death is a turn on because of their shame and because of the feeling of like lack of judgment and then there’s other people I think they’re just so fucked up and like I said something about it so naughty so fucking crazy that like I’m I’m the Johnny Rotten and the sex like I’m a pick like because it’s like when you get to the point where it’s no longer a person like that that’s why it turns you on is that it’s Rotting Flesh that person is so fucked up
not that I mean whatever but like is it like that person has gone past so far past the threats are there like they hate Humanity itself and their to the point where they love deaf there a necrophile
I want to fuck a corpse because it’s dead so if you were from like I say a small town
and you were a mortician it would be a good chance that you would know a lot of the people that would come through right
that’s the ticket ticket ticket
sweet but you don’t want to put you want he sold it well yeah because the Johnny rotten’s band Alyssa feel like all I’m just I remember Gladys from the diner and now she’s dead and that makes my dick if you were into that maybe there’s a different Trail and maybe there’s a motivation to work in a small town I don’t know
Dahmer went to was at the Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design
didn’t wait no he didn’t know what you wanted but I had when I went back for my talked that I did there one of my old sculptured teacher Bruce says
like a week before he was busted he was at the my ad
like a gift shop but like supply store looking at the there is none of you remember this but back in the early 90s there was this thing called Spray fix or whatever or stone Fleck it was like a can of spray paint but it wasn’t paint it would just like make it look like your block of wood is made out of marble or or stone or concrete or whatever and it was looking for flesh like the joke was in sculpture class that
they would be like like out of 10 people there would be 9 stone Fleck like shoes like that it was just like instant Hearts whatever but that’s where he bought the stone Fleck if you look into it I think he sprayed like some skulls of my teacher like talk to him first cuz I guess you kind of a weirdo why is this guy here and then like a week later he got busted every every podcast is going to eventually touch on Dahmer and I thought I was a bit of a dollar expert compared to the rest of the country cuz we were from Milwaukee when he was doing it and boiled boy it’s just you missed out well it’s just weren’t paying attention to the police Scandal thing is just fucking like
I know the fact that that the cops brought
victim number I’m going to make up a number like 14 of 17 or something like that like was brought back to his apartment because he escaped and it was just like this
like a Dahmer showed up with his bag of liquor that he went to go by while he changed this guy to a bed who is Skate that is like the cops brought him back to Dahmer apartment and because Dahmer said we’re just look we’re lovers and yeah I know he looks under age and he’s bleeding and he’s delirious and he has handcuffs on his wrists but we’re just gay like that and the cops like handed him over and any kill them immediately of course he did. Then also he killed more people after that and and end like I knew about all that and I was like okay shame of a city and blah blah blah but what I didn’t know is that those cops were
something like even lighter than suspended without pay was like they still got paid today and they end and one of them ended up like Captain of it is that you think you hear the shit then you got like well I’m sure you know it’s important to be shameful and all the stuff with it it’s like for real like it’s just like it just the like that there was no punishment there was no
nothing happened to those two cops at exactly cuz he doesn’t your instinct your human empathic Instagram like why I hate to be those two cops because they didn’t know they were thrust into the midst of this thing and who knows what it’s like to be a cop and all the stuff in the extent of his empathy and then you and then you realize that there’s that you’re dealing with a system that does not extend even the slightest bit of that empathy by saying like well maybe you should fucking even if for symbolic purposes never be a fucking cop again ever like ever a right within the hundred mile radius of the people whose families were eaten by the Sky by Blake Blake Blake Blake go to Detroit I don’t know what was figure something out of the Vatican can come up with a system we can but not they were there just like it was like I can’t believe can you imagine being like like living in that neighborhood which was on Marquette campus where I went to school
anyways it’s fucking insane whatever
what we talking about horses
and I only have over your quest what’s Annihilation about is it I think I answered all I know he had a nice it’s a pretty heavy movie so heading yeah I mean I mean like you looking and I watch the movie and it’s very like I can’t even have been a better movie if it was made like saying the 70s or maybe even the 90s but it’s like it because it was about like the meteor that crashed on Earth or something like that has a weird Zone Zone Zone appeared on Earth where it is things a little different and then and then like the prism
effect Natalie reflected reflected lighter refracted light but it also refracted feelings feelings and DNA and stuff like that in it and it got kind of weird as a weird pacing thing but yeah I don’t know if you haven’t seen it I can’t we can’t really talk about it check it out doesn’t it there’s an course but there’s a bit of surprise with it is but one of its really right
and a bit more than we do some D’s in shambles and mountains or not your time it’s quarter don’t do that enough time I mean I’m so high still
where can I get high and then we’ll do it no sarcastic are you allowed to get high like on camera right now we can’t we’ll get arrested true now I can say it’s tobacco what if we say it’s fake pot that we bought and he can take me man I would say you don’t even know I can’t tell you how loud your point never is but you just dry and dry and dry and dry opposite of what do you know about getting high on camera on podcast etcetera to say the truth it’s some
I don’t know I don’t know getting Doug with high as it did that everybody gets high at the show but they don’t live stream it ran over we were on like we were there wasn’t enough we smoke pot on video I get high just making eye contact with Doug Benson and that’s illegal
it’s hard to make eye contact with one of the sides it just looking at weed do you think like Dan Spencer and I look like Spencer is slowly turning into me like an evolutionary chart if I if I take off my hat like cuz the glasses are good I went to the doctor and I and I was like looking forward to it for 2 months because I’ve been fucking heavily working out and seven pounds is like
I have number in my head a little higher than that yeah I was a little disappointed I never thought I’d hear you lost 7 pounds would be like bummed out that’s that’s what I don’t know when I started weighing myself that was the thing I had to break the most is just because it’s like every time you get on you have something in your head and you’re going to be disappointed every time that’s happened it’ll be the worst so I’m never getting on the scale and now that’s going to do the opposite you got to only get on the scale until your nerves go dumb I mean um
you said you said yeah you can you only take the lowest and highest or whatever and I did when I think of my weight I think it’s the last time I weighed myself but when I think about how far I’ve come from the fact that I used to be 270 pounds I go with the lowest because it’s like holy shit I lost 57 pound how do you get rid of the fat in your tits went why does it sit there forever what would you come over to my place and I’ll show you
show me how to get rid of it or when it sits there for you to suck on as a guy I know you said Jeffrey Davis titty-fuck work at where I I just fucking man titties and it really is you lose service for fashion around the skin if it’s a it’s called a dick and balls hitting massage yeah they work in the same principle is that the new releases to imagine that was in the adipose tissue which is why I am here to tell everybody about The Jeffy Davis lose you lose your man titties in three nights
you lose your voice but you got to really relax as a person whom you have to really really just let it wash over you and I really mean that as a person who loves as I assume you do fucking now I’m a medical I mean I’m a healthcare provider I want I want people to like like if you come to me and say I can’t get rid of these two stops terroni soy boy fucking I have the cure for you but this is not going to be the most masculine and that’s that’s what I that’s what I bring to the table is results
results results always be results abr3 night take your shirt off right now let’s do it before but we’re going to come back we’re going to cut my body the way it is right now I just don’t like this if you cuz if you were to draw me like I don’t mind if I have like a belly as long as it’s a smooth talker I don’t like this like you know I don’t like like you know that you would have to like to an extra pen stroke lateral flange that that’s dead of night to the lateral plans with me tonight to you’re going to find your lateral flange gone by tonight and then the third night
just simply Tony Toni it’s all about shape Channel we’re going to get a rocket man do you do when he’s like you try everything cuz you see at the movies I like okay that’s after a while I got you can’t I think I do a lot of different approaches I take it on a teddy bear teddy basis
but first I’d change technique in the second necklace cuz he wanted individually alternator just individual titties I don’t do just so you don’t put it in between City Park man
take me to try pushing together closely guarded trade secret
we’re going to see different results as the new character
he’s so irritated or mad at the world for not I like to call it a titty flange remove rest but I think the way that the world eyes into my special technique is that the people are going to associate me putting my dick on your tits at the haters
do I do I see that’s a great but if you go to org VIII FAQ first question do I finish right no the finishing is do I finish giving you the results that you want to come all over your neck Street of commitment
mmi’s Ellis yesterday it is there is there a vigorous 3-day process
Aetna it happens at night it happens at my place and we have the before photo and it and if you if you don’t see results on Dan’s titty as of next Sunday
Vans money back
or know where I didn’t go or I didn’t go well if you don’t go that we’re not supposed to be after photos
haha Davis removal technique system is how many people checking out they say when you go skydiving in the scariest part of skydiving is making the reservation to go skydiving to a 3-day sister to get the results that you want I paid 500 bucks for this I don’t jump out of this plane or let my friend come on my chest I’m going to give you the first night free that’s a $200 discount $400 for a three-day system normally $600 as a $200 discount. I’m going to give you yours for free because I want to get this I want to get this system out there all right well we don’t know what the state laws are or when they become Federal when we go with the podcast
apparently I can’t get high off promise you that he’ll rub his cock on your tits or your money back that was $400 it’s normally $600 I’m giving subscribers to Hermantown or $200 discount the first night is free if you use code code code again bring it back is it childish of course it is but like let us go in front of the critics also my dick is made of micro modal fiber consists of three times softer than cotton
do you think that’s what Nigel ate or do you think I just cut them open every six weeks out of your underwear and no man I was just a bunch of little swatches and me undies micro modal fiber just came out of your dog but have you ever hear people go like well if I could if I could like you know if I could take a guy I would Green Mile my dog’s stomach wound cuz I’d be like you know what that one’s on me for sure I would I would do it too I would Green Mile that shit I would take would be like okay put a slit in my stomach and I’ll lay in bed and like feel bad cuz it’s not even that Noble sacrifice cuz I could have the capability of saying Cody can you give me a LaCroix
Nigel can’t be he’s like he’s like he can’t he doesn’t he doesn’t know why we do anything we do you scoop them up like cuz you love them and he’s shivering and he’s like why am I hurting and then you take him to a place it’s like when you leave them
the worst and their brain is the size of a fucking like four sided die I know what that is because it’s like a thing that I relate to
all right well apparently we got 2 minutes play the Indie now is Spencer’s the only one who’s allowed to be Stark raving high on stage I’m not what he’s afraid that if we all get high will he’ll be out of a job like this job is to be this high
check out this week to Atlanta now I haven’t you guys are the envelopes there’s a Slender Man Slender Man Slender Man Slender Man episode there was just let me not watching Atlanta almost starting to enjoy this Atlanta in my head there’s a Slender Man Slender Man gives them a sandwich it’s a fucking great episode you should watch you got to watch me do you want to have to watch from the beginning of the places had like this is like the best director, he wrote it but it’s he works with the dry I think you should check it out
it’s fine it’s just you know it’s not the kind of Television you would have that has existed in the past you know it’s just interesting to see what the medium can be you know I could be a cartoon and I could be Atlanta at school
did Emma get out of the photo that church took of you at the protest of you with the word in the Rick and Morty thing bringing a flask just I posted it on my Instagram she’s already sold a couple friends of people want that print she’s making a limited 10 print run of those and people are snapping them up a t-shirt but it’s it just says help me
we did an addition to play this one back and understand like what what what line did I cross and asking my necrophilia questions that made everybody see you cross the line where you chose to not offend necrophiles yeah because I don’t like that but like I’ve gone to bat for pedophiles on the show I fucking hate like I hate victimization so people that victimized other people for their own pleasure like okay they’re doing something that is criminally wrong there and they’re going to be like like like so isn’t that enough kit are we going to solve the problem by just being so happy that we found monsters I find it really fucking weird but not weird the totally understandable that what we do we go like oh what gives you a hard-on what ladybugs you’re fucking crazy and it’s like we we are all that person like in some kind of big way ladybugs we’re all that person and and then and then we just like are we really like this exactly what they do in prison as they’re all in there for fuckedupshit and then
get so fucking excited when they hear a fucking pedophiles in prison if they were run down to fuck the person to death or whatever lake is it it’s like it’s bullshit come on like like criminality is criminality like some people are sick some people are experiencing cycles of abuse like people that are abused in their childhood they grow up to abuse people guess how you solve this problem you know it’s not it’s not through being so excited to find someone a lien and monster that you like Point your finger at him and throw mud of them is not going to change anything singer didn’t even come you just watching or listening to it
play so much everybody for coming down here for Rob schrab everybody
find out what ever file I am
remember how I went to bat for you and I we’re sorry all that necrophiles if anyone was offended sorry we didn’t get to bring Church up or leave it tonight but they will be back of course but I’ll take care of it Chris back there are you sign Spencer Crittenden the part of the result I’m I’m your car
can you make it down here going to fuck a dead person but what if we open with the key next to the DMV right after Dan Herman shows you his newly sculpted titties to Jeffrey Davis pretty plant removal 3-day system go online and buy your tickets to Boston Boston January 22nd The Wilbur Theater is going to be Wicked retarded and possibly a professor and not for the 23rd Long Island somewhere at the aviation flim-flam and rib joints and end
fish fry I love you everybody

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