Episode: 284 – They’re Coming to Get You Barbara

Episode

Episode: 284 – They’re Coming to Get You Barbara

Description

Duncan Trussell is this weeks guest comptroller, who brings a sense of spirituality that could only be countered by Rob Schrab’s chair noises. Featuring Dan Harmon, Duncan Trussell and Rob Schrab.

Transcript

hello I would like to order a burger please
okay I mean usually you’re just say what you wanted like you pulled out to burger spot but that’s fantastic I would like a cheeseburger and a soda and some fries got it and those are Carolina hot cake fries or do you want the blisters are the blisters hot cake style yeah hundred percent they’re blasting man okay I’ll have those gray can I take your order
welcome to Denny’s
is it is there supposed to be another getting interference hey can I get your prize Ciara parents man we got I mean we’re going to do the order but you’re gonna have to go across the street how come I can hear him why is there two speakers so tell him just bombed so we just bomb Syria right and so the Russians are responding with a massive cyberattack and what’s happened is they’ve created an interference waves it’s essentially all the fast food restaurants have mixed up with each other so they need the number one way to hurt America with the fuck out the fast food distribution chain and it’s working
7 of our customers committed suicide last week we’re going for 8 can I take your order to cross the street I just need to go across the street to get you the same restaurant the border from me you can I will take a order for you but I am in
another restaurant three blocks up
alright we get we get time-and-a-half yes so cool first suicide thank you Putin it’s harmontown time
you got to get off the stage
here we go
okay do I start now
here we go friends welcome to the precinct eulerity pre-World War 3 harmontown presenting your favorite game master Rob
Larry is getting down
yo yo yo rapper rapper rapper the Rap God on top of the show rap with the music in your heart and your feet fuck your mama and Chelsea’s on the street make your voice mail. Take her back home and Shout into her pussy with a paper bag and then I’ll pop it
all right thank you thank you I don’t know what are still at we’re still working at the we open with the with the drive-thru sketch classic classic and updated some added updates of topical news that’s right cuz it’s coming if this is your first your first episode of harmontown use for me you shouldn’t this isn’t the this isn’t like the other episodes is a very special episode our comptroller is Duncan Trussell thank you hear our game master is Arab strap
Master the game master game master
not at all what are you accusing him of gaslighting and there’s no audience
you’re losing the audience and get myself Cokes are sodas do you have Coke Zero do you have Crystal Pepsi do you have cherry 7-Up I don’t know what else we have decided by cuz this is what about look like what will someone please bring
alright guy I just need something sweet
I wouldn’t mind.
What am I getting through this one kind of quick
why do you shorten the show you no shortening it by 10 minutes every week so that no one notices it’s eventually an hour
this is water okay that’s kind of like soda
I got to say you know I haven’t been here in a while man but we’ve been tightening the format you and this is you know I like it’s like perfectly exactly what’s happening just like it’s like this kind of like fantastic collapse to do do do we have no audience last time you were here we had an audience you know Wonderful audience and like and now it’s just this big empty cavernous yes it’s like that it’s like the end of a city like this is something I’ve been thinking about a lot is the apocalypse and how the apocalypse is not going to be the way people think the apocalypse would know big in sex what’s that sorry keep going know what sex no big in sex sex no incest in the Apocalypse
make me a chicken sandwich
no no no massive incest
I think it’ll be filled with giant insects
like giant bees at fuck their cousins practicing massive right I’ve never looked into that I have no idea I suppose every species has its own built-in exogenous safety valve like tries to keep itself from from fucking itself you know starting safety valve
so so when you leave for Minecraft you know Dunkin and I’ll just you know what mind the store while you go play your game that sounds like a flying ant yeah we did we can get a lot of stuff done tonight
after ego yep we’ll probably have it for now we’ll probably have an audience again soon you know we’re going to be moving to out of here and to buy a butthole I am evicting a nice so that the great taika waititi can make his star Burns feature is crazy right now I was doing this damn trying to get it out of the system cuz I know we’re going to be back in front of an audience soon and then we’re not going to be able to do stuff like it’s fake cold opens and things you know it was kind of like this is like a dummy I would dream I would dream I was doing this with no audience or something like truly like after the world ends the few of us have gone mad there’s a few people in an old empty Warehouse in my pocket will just do a ton of beers and we’re eating our legs yeah right I mean there’s something about like if it was like if you walked outside you would die you know like
tell me about still doing the podcast the responsibility of like people are boarded up in their homes but they still this is the only happen if they have oh my God I now I know what this reminds me of cuz I was just watching it you know one thing that just infuriated me that I realize you cannot download the original Dawn of the Dead from the normal meet you have to get it off of you too but slow ride as far as I’m aware you can’t get it from Amazon you can’t get it from iTunes you can’t get it from the normal ways that you were down here you can if you could torn and I’m sure but why don’t you know that the convenience or just downloading it for like 3 bucks it’s for someone who knows what else probably same money going to the same place and said they want they just put out a 4K version of Night of the Living Dead and they’re probably doing a new restoration of that I just bought
Bentley somebody took like all of the cuts of the original Dawn of the Dead because Dario Argento produced it and there was like more different deleted scenes in the Italian version of someone to the Supercut of both of them and then going to get it in the mail this week I’ve never seen The Italian version of the different name wasn’t it was it always Gumby or something I think yeah one of my favorite movies and it starts off and it’s sorry Dan it’s the apocalypse and they’re trying to process it and it’s very similar to this world like more like Loki they’re freaking out but it is like it is like an abandoned like new state like a cameras moving around people are talking you know in the background and it does have this kind of you know dead dead has been show feeling of that release aren’t didn’t we write a
what if we were Dawn of the Dead scratch so I don’t know why you guys are spoiling it so much I mean I said we should segue to this topic still thought of that sketch that we’ve been spending so much time on the show yesterday at when we wrote The Burger sketch right well yeah so let’s let’s let’s let’s let’s start that sketch this is the. Of the Dead sketch
they’re coming to get you Barbara
becoming whole you
they’re coming every time they’re coming to get you Barbara Night of the Living Dead they’re coming to get you but they’re coming for you they’ve been dead a long time Barbara they’re coming for you
they’re coming ticket to Barbara you know man when I was watching my friend it is throat ripped out by a zombie before I ran in here yes Barbara I thought to myself I’d never laugh again I got would go into shock I go nuts but that fucking thing every time yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah when did you how did you first learn how funny that was the first time and and their dad and Barbara left and then you also left Barbara you’re saying that he’s doing it from the movie Night of the Living Dead yes I slipped on intestines on the way in here
sometimes the things like Night of the Living Dead is a movie and we can rent defines the thing Barbara so they’re coming to get you Barbara but here we are and I asked if you could do that all night will I be all right if you are in the Glenbrook area Reseda Riverside we have a new list of shelters for youth Riverside not go to the to the schools do not go to the shelters we we mention to the previous segment those shelters have been
override again my mom lives and you are just tuning in the dead have been returning to life and murdering the living
I left the door open okay it’s okay if we get through this we have a we have a doctor here a physiologist in the studio director
my brother
everything is through I guess he’s not he’s so he’s no longer with us okay
do not leave the body unattended do not attempt to bury it burn it or cut off the head or drive a sharp objects
no don’t know sorry don’t don’t bury the body don’t just hang out with a don’t sit Shiva I think that’s what they call it will you could you could try to make it laugh
did you go then coming to get you Barbara it’s not my mom’s probably dead right now and it’s my fault so I mean the question is like is she really dead if she comes back to life your mom not mortal now it’s not your mom’s like a mortally retarded is a status. Last thing I said to her sleep fucking get you it’s just your mom’s going to live forever you should be happy you know what I’m going to we’re going to take a brief break from the from the broadcast at cuz I left I left my keys in the helicopter on the roof and I’m just going to run up there go in the helicopter grabbed my keys and come back down a sin to hang out here with everybody always funny people and helping people buy it buy it so glad we have that helicopter
did you hear something yeah I heard it what did you hear I heard a bird flapping really fast yeah it sounded like a giant hummingbird or hell, and seen I mean it’s got so. A dead spot coming probably coming out on DVD or something and so we can do that together DVD it’ll come out we have some other sketches come out throughout the show on live try to get your mind off the Trump thing you know we’re not doing a lot of current events catches but we do you know we got to do a couple other ways we going to lose listeners to MSNBC so keep it we try to keep it above the belt or try to keep it we try to keep it above the belt this is wild man last time I was here there are people
people laughing no bad in. You know why they stopped coming yeah I heard I heard it I heard I heard people just aren’t what happened it just slid down I just pulled into like some deep dark existentialism you incurred the Wrath of the Gods is what happened you worried about that did the reason that the fight the fire department game and shut down harmontown and that the chaos is coming from a Vortex of that dark remember that you’re still in it that thing you went in to do you worry that it’s like guava traction stuff like
reflecting that Darkness do you think about you bring about
yeah but I got yeah I don’t see the Merit in I mean I’m trying but I don’t see the Merit in and it’s just it’s just hard to I don’t want it I don’t want to disingenuously be happy you know I don’t want to like force it like you you know those people that say it takes less muscles to smile and we got to think positive stuff is just like to do is be happy I had I had it out with my therapist Friday let her have it because you know like that’s pretty interesting session cuz it was it was pretty sure she made it pretty clear like I do have and I do have my big thing of Shame
and the shame doesn’t really let me you know it just sort of dominate everything like that my just that there’s a lot of pain with esteem you know the I just think Terence McKenna said always think about is that cuz you know the happy idea or supposed to be happy but that was saying this thing about how somebody’s are not sending out the shamanic ecstasy and like ecstatic states are not limited to happiness or joy States but there’s ecstatic
sadness ecstatic shame ecstatic misery and I really like that because it’s not an invitation to like I’ll just be happy it’s more of an invitation to like fully be what you are right now as deep as you can be which is what you do and even if that thing produces a wave of some kind of psychic repulsion that produces dark ripples that make the fire department shut down this beautiful fucking theater and transforms everything in that reflection of the darkness even that’s kind of amazing cuz it’s like holy shit magic is real I was looking at more like the funny thing is is what shame is I haven’t really think to blame myself for the fire marshal I was actually thinking the fire marshal was bailing me out like that that was God like saving me cuz I was really starting to hate the audience
any I mostly hate myself me can’t really hate an audience and audiences always afraid are you afraid you’re going to hate the audience again when we broke up we we we spent all this time apart now I got long hair why do you hate him I hated hated I hated what we were all going through together you know so it’s just brought out the worst in all of us speak for myself just made me I was just really sad and all the stuff so it’s like I’m not going to have
a good relationship with the audience I was just like
there a giant crowd of people that react on certain Hues and like that was exactly yeah that wasn’t in the mood for that you don’t like we are all feeling kind of like really frightened about these concepts of like crowd Dynamics and stuff like how you you know what what what makes people go or what if people go boo boo or yeah or it just kind of there was no good news to any of it was like why would I would come out on stage and I don’t remember think about it that much but it was just like my micro flow chart would be stiff you slowed it down would be something like okay so what am I supposed to do ignore how much Peril is I feel how much sadness and frustration and how much humiliation and shame much rage to ignore those things and then become like a kind of like I don’t know like a Regis Philbin character do I do I become
Shaun King do I do I do I become like the generation that sounds like a lot of work and not my generation that you actually have to realize it’s like an experiment with a signal boosting young activists and stuff like like like okay let’s use this platform because just doesn’t feel right to sit around and talk about how I don’t want to tie my shoes anymore you know I was just thinking is your doing this
like you know the Jones obviously John sounds pretty sad but you know it’s kind of like there’s like at least one little happy part of it which is that Jim Jones killed himself to but think how fucked-up it would have been if they walked in there and he still talking and it’s all those are my fucking dead bodies just surrounding him but he’s giving a sermon to the dead bodies damn that would have been amazing you just did not forgot
you watch this wild wild country yes I did yeah your opinion I wish they’d I thought I was beautiful like the way they edited it and put it as beautiful but I wish they’d focus more on a show for kids at cuz I think they like what I love about a good cult documentary is it they put in enough of the cult leaders philosophy that it makes me want to join right but not to be one of those the people that responds this way to that but I noticed the same thing but felt that that was the point then that was what made it really cool was that they actually just focused entirely on the relationship between the Colts and the end of townspeople to the point where if you were an alien you wouldn’t you wouldn’t know what to call it was a and you spent the whole time but I like well why aren’t they are called these Hillbillies dinner like so smug and like have their they kept talking about how they have their own way of doing things
and I loved I love how you would like love them and hate them like you know like up and down and up and all around like and I think that they just very Tastefully inserted like from the Rednecks perspective like like to read the beginning like that movie that it that comes out of it and everyone gets to see like they’re naked naked Primal scream therapy or whatever an end but it was like
didn’t feel kind of like like like like if they had if they’d stayed focused in on on this guy who didn’t talk for 4 years and stuff like like like what and what what that religion was it that I would invite all of year it would just put you in the shoes of the redneck or or the shoes of the convert like you’re saying I mean I keep thinking like I kind of still maybe they’re showing like the
the thing that happens where the gatekeeper becomes the destination sort of their showing like the gross thing that you know what do everyone focuses on the pope you know it’s like they everyone focuses on the representative of the thing and said the thing itself and maybe they wanted to make a point of doing that without saying that’s what they’re doing I mean it was good and it since it is it a listen to all of these thoughts and under but I’m maybe I’m just looking for a different documentary but I could easily just do their research and Ruidoso stuff yeah a lover of his quotes and stuff cuz he was a fun guy cuz he he he he had that look but he would he would just talk very liberally about about sex and stuff right
pump the brakes and let me get out and smell the roses here these people just started carrying assault rifles and dressing like the Joker and stuff like all these people they’re with their ties to their clean cut beards and like like they they they just like it was like what is this called but I but I think it was good that it was just like I thought I felt in the end I was sleeping at the end cuz I felt like I had been thrust into the position of God made by both these rednecks and these and these cultists and like everybody had just swirled around in this this this tidy bowl of of conflict and chasing each other and that the whole thing was just started crying and I think God for that guy the guy that takes you through the whole thing the lawyer and then he’s just like walking with his Cane I just started like bawling my eyes out I think is that he’s just so it was like he didn’t do anything wrong that entire time he was a reliable near me
and he was neither a Sheila loyalists do you know I trying to abscond with Osho I mean he was just like he represented that kind of like like when you read going clear like those scientologists that are just sort of like look I’m getting something out of this can you stop with the drama and and he was a sort of wife Master he represented the best that that quote unquote Colt could accomplish I think the reason for its existence was that it made you an effective a happy person that Drew people it still goes on you know you didn’t you didn’t have to like leave capitalism behind you didn’t have that you didn’t have to have all these extreme conversations about like the world is supposed to just fucking built a city in the middle of nowhere I guess what made me start crying was that you could do all that you could like you could ride that wave without falling off the surfboard like he did and then
we’ll just ends with you with a gray beard like walking around like you can’t surf forever you can’t it’s takes War I mean historically like if you look at it it’s like 2 to get the big paradigm shift to happen in a serious way you know you know they pulled it off the the Mormons like they were they were there is conflict with that make bought them for a while like that when a thing like that when a theocracy bubbles up or new idea bubbles up quite often it seems like the idea of bubbles up inside of tries did it tries to kill it especially if it’s a contagious idea they try to do if it’s like a threat to the dominant Paradigm and it gets big enough the helicopters show up the cops show up the fire marshal shows up. There’s a fantastic like closing thought at the end of that going clear book
that just yeah it sort of it without
without bothering to categorize Scientology is either a good thing or a bad thing just talking about the history of of of upstart religion in the United States and how yeah it’s we want to look at all of these things and go they either they either need to live or die but we coexist with things like Mormonism are Jehovah’s Witness read whatever you call it then it’s a noun form these these these little things they’re not called Colts anymore you can call Mormonism a cult if you wanted to but we don’t anymore because we we went to like you said when we jumped them in the Pope’s
Pope saying that he’ll doesn’t exist today make a bunch of fucking chair sounds now that you’re talkin so fuck are you doing over here
Home Depot are you making a bookcase what the fuck is going on try to relax here you’re talking forever you not even turning or including me you’re all in love with Duncan again you don’t even look at it when you call me I’m trying to get comfortable with me now in a bookies damn you noticed that I didn’t notice those chairs sounds my word look at you’re just you’re just like a monkey you’re a naughty monkey but they don’t invite me anymore and you’ll be the happiest person in the world I can’t use the good behavior.
TV shows of creepy will you please please everybody everybody loves you come on please I’m here waiting for you here I’m just going to read the text you sent me please please please please please will you please pretty please please do the job Spencer is it going to be here will you please please please please please please come on come on come on please please everyone loves you please please come on you guys look at them see gun control
what’s this yeah that’s me I’m seeking control of a repeat character
well now you are is the second time you showed up give me a beat
gun control and gun control awareness of awareness
laterally for weapons in the world
AR-15 can kill 30 people per second it’s a very very expensive
military-grade weapons on MC gun control
I Got Talent anyway what the Pope says that he’ll doesn’t exist I think it’s weird cuz like the pope said he’ll doesn’t exist and then I heard right didn’t know what it was like a missed it was like a misquote or so I thought it’s like you try to walk it back on the Drudge Report gets hit and I don’t know if he I think it was either misquote or you’d like it was taken out of context or something but but but the thing is like the eventually eventually they will
say that right because the Drudge Report no because it won’t even look for hundreds of look at me for hundreds of years the they were like holding the line in like whether the sun went around the earth or not important question for us all that I ask is does Hell exist okay let’s break it down okay so I know how do you know I guess I don’t I mean it gets in there I mean that I mean like it’s not exist but one of the creepy things about black holes you know we don’t know what the fuck’s going on in there yeah and like that those things are sucking and galaxies yeah and those galaxies what would they do if there is a soul does your soul leave the Galaxy or does it float around the Galaxy or does it go to multiple galaxies could a soul gets sucked into a black hole my point is like is there some point of like maximum
Soul compression where you would be sentient but eternally in some infinite Blackness because your soul doesn’t have mass it doesn’t it’s not accountable to the laws of the speed of light and time so your soul if there is such a thing if you can if your Consciousness is a field that exist independently of your your organ that kind of representing it corporeally then upon death it’s possible that your soul will experience Infinity because time stops it stops being in time and then it’s possible but that’s not like a fun thing for us all that that’s like being locked in a box cuz that’s why the universe started is cuz God which was all of us and everything was like locked in nothingness yet no time and was like I got to get out of here is what you do when your kid in your brother like you experienced the same panic
the rabbit would just hang out it would just go I guess I’m locked in the cabinet but sentience makes you claustrophobic cuz you go I can’t just be nothing but a freak the fuck out and then he starts thinking about water everything and then and then you’re like get me out of here you throw a tantrum and that’s the your your piece of the Big Bang which means the possibly when you die hell maybe the only thing that happens which is simply you returning to the state of the universe before it existed and that but with that one little thing of you you want to be but you can’t Osho that’s directly quoted from OSHA part of it and then the other part of it is now certainly exist on Planet Earth I mean people become their own black holes and they get so compressed into themselves that every breath is a is it is a living hell so so you end up in a so that happens to so when the post
now doesn’t exist it’s like one of those like a time when I think I kind of disagreed with a pub I mean maybe if you meant if I call you must mean like the fire pit thing probably but certainly like what you would people suffer so deeply on this planet would be cool if he had now he said sorry I meant hell does it exist underneath the earth when you die I meant Hell exist on Earth and I know where it is and we have to go fight them and then he like let us
and if I can learn to the race car started and I was like all right up until the fighting part like it would be fun just walking there right like you were walking private life cuz the worst case scenario is you’d get tired and be left behind big deal I won’t make my War we’re headed to but in the meantime you feel like a you know I always wanted to be like a migrant bird like you just like that together that’s where you guys going all the time and then you just walk in you got your knapsack in your marshmallow that you dare to dream man
I wanted to be a firefighter my current bird what are you going to be when you grow up I mean it’s like yeah I’m not a migrating bird but like a
yeah it’s like that. They make pick up other birds eggs because the economy of a Sunbird country is fucked up started trying to keep Mexican birds out of that’s a always me know when did we bomb people and it’s all so confusing and ultimately said you just take like man I would be so nice if if we had something something real to fight like we got all these great weapon and nothing’s black black and white it’s always so confusing how glorious would it be man just if Trump came out and he’s like we have found the gateway to Hell here’s the video tape of it being on a prostitute mattress
that’s why they screwed up you didn’t get the facts or he’s like there’s no PJ but for the longest time and then he’s like look did you ever say they got the Japanese like listen don’t I’m telling you while I was making those hookers p a gate to hell opened it was part of a ritual that’s why I didn’t want you to see it I’m proud of making people pee on the Obamas bed as most of you suspected that’s not a deal-breaker for me I’m not seeing a rapist I don’t care what you think of me I do care if he’ll ever takes the Earth and on that pee tape is the gateway to Hell and nnn Rachel maddow’s like nice try clown and then she presses play and then it’s like it’s like fun cuz it’s like yeah there’s like this is a bad guys that are just like
made a shit and they got two horns and yeah you know and they’re like and then you can fight them like with your friends you can fight as part of the army like
Street Overlord you can choose if you wanted to be like a guerrilla fighter like street-to-street or just like hang out with your friends and like like it’s like it’s just it’s just reality versus hell so is like not yeah there’s an army version but that’s for people who enjoy that kind of thing that’s that’s one of the satanic aspects of War isn’t is it it’s like it takes exactly what people want to do which is to build stuff together and like and blow things up and set things on fire and have fun together in like 10 and survive together and then it takes that thing and in transforms it into I like a bond nothing is more bonding than being like going out into a stressful situation with your pals people want to have a mission like my camping Lyon I like building things
ask me again do you like camping know you were not a bad camping trip what you just went on a few bad camping trips all of them I don’t know why would how many championships do I don’t remember cuz I try to block him out, I remember that ridiculous how many championships he can’t you got to think back like you do with it was under $10 / 10 under 10 Siege wants a bad trips yeah they were all with your parents and you were ten and you were all right let’s go on a camping trip that would be fun that’s the next version of harmontown deep in the fucking the forest just took Dan and me hunting no hunting I don’t know but yeah I already should we should we should dress the set for like a camping site like in a sitcom and then we hit try to have like a campfire and then the ultimate irony is because the fire marshal shut down this post again stage Goes Up in Flames
did you think that there’d be at least a couple of like happy fireman like they would like there would be like a sense of like I told you as they’re dragging your charred corpse out that we tried to save you I have but they try to be saved us from the audience I’m in the audience didn’t start us on fire I mean really if like you knew that you were in a simulator you’re going to live forever you get to repeat everything wouldn’t in one of those versions the last harmontown be you self emulating
I don’t know I mean I would have to be the least 100 God I mean how late you’re incredible. How about you know that not being me and and also like like couch regardless there’s morphine there’s ways we can prop your body up make it seem like you’re awake true

you some kind of scares crow that you got the running Studio man there’s got to be a way to like it yeah I told you out but I go to animate that get Tycho to animate that
you gave your animate the flames on you with Tycho he can do it
him and Bubbles and Tyke tycho’s animating bubbles you can animate u m m elating yourself emulation like if you think in terms of like fat ass in the podcast or Siri that would be really smart that’ll spread all around the world you know because it’s in the comments section underneath the YouTube video eb-5 comments in before someone commented looks like we need to legislate Fire Control and then the whole thing or just turned into people arguing about it guns under my fucking burning burning death on YouTube like immediately today every YouTube video I was like oh it’s a girl that balance has food in her nose and then 5 5 comments down somebody goes like maybe let’s spoon you should be given to Syria and then
just think what our comments sections for her anyways cuz you’re going to get rid of the comment section under all comments actions are going to be able to comment on the section it’ll just always just be like some kind of chaos running through that dialogue forever
I know man it’s really really interesting I like it I like the experiment you’re doing it’s pretty cool pretty cool that we tried different stuff we try to do it like Howard Stern style in the in the video booths as like you know
I could do any podcasts like that and I was like alright well let’s go back on the stage with just have nobody there it’s got its ups and downs I guess one thing I don’t know that anyone I’m just trying to think of a late night show or show in this format with no audience where it’s just this where it has to go back to the Ellen TV show late night ya basic cable so it was Nick bakay as his Andy Richter it was kind of like quiet and when their audience of one or something like that if it was like I mean like local TV or Joe Bob Briggs like monster Vision where it just it was obvious it was just one guy in a studio like this with maybe three people laughing behind the camera guy tweeted at me and he was like I was like several tweets chained together and he’s like
I know you I know you think it’s easier to die and I can’t remember what his presuppositions right but he was like like I urge you to listen to the early episodes I think you’ll find that they’re better like he was like really like breaking it to me that the podcast is worse when there’s no fun
play Rivers by Nano guy what is your point blank what do you think of it I don’t understand if you do a format is generally made for an Audi minus the audience it produces and then you add to it no I think it was I can guarantee you this guy was basically he was like he wanted the audience back
even though he said he just finished listening to all of the episodes so I don’t know how you get through that without the information that this isn’t really a choice like so right till like way in and go I don’t know if it’s kind of like it you’re out in the middle of nowhere and like your your truck is is got one tire in the ditch and people are like trying to get a piece of wood under the tire but then some other people are like well maybe if we sing and dance like me who’s who says who says this wasn’t our destination and like as long as the truck’s not working at all the stuff is just to have have one guy they’re going like you know that I think if you really think about it pound-for-pound what we’re going through right now is actually worse than then what what was that ride yesterday was like thanks miles and his shit right now shit man his name was miles to me
that’s a great name for somebody commenting on a truck that yeah. Miles to go to go back in front of an audience but then I got you do be careful what you wish for everything that you know there’s going to come a point
yeah that that’s that’s going to be like the return threshold and then
you know those are that’s how stories end is it okay we did it we did this and we did that and we did this and then we did it it’s like this yeah and it’s going to be like 45 like what what are we what are we what are we what are we are 45
I think I like beer is there may come a day when when the appropriate thing for me to do for my own happiness and two been to evolve is actually has
not only nothing to do with a public life and also in fact maybe actually be counter to a public life you know what I mean like you think you’re resisting something you feel resistant and you and you realize you don’t want to be in that situation if you could be any snow in general like you think you’re you’re you find yourself feeling like resisting what’s happening
more and more often than not I find myself trying to trying to
find my Bliss in situations that by definition
and that’s very appropriate phrase by definition because everything by definition like kind of excludes it it starts to run counter to Bliss following so so like let’s sit you so you do something fun and then you say let’s do something fun every week yeah and then you can eat you got a strike that balance you just to everybody does like like okay we’re going to have a book club we’re going to get together every Wednesday and yeah he’s a big boy understands that sometimes if you’re getting together every single Wednesday for your book club give me some Wednesdays when you’re not the one who’s so stoked about showing up on Wednesday and your kind of an asshole if you show up there for on Wednesday with this like kill the book club Vibe whenever it because for all you know everybody else on that particular Wednesday is like having a good mood and actually the book club is there to carry them you know and
it’s the disease this is the nature of things you start you schedule them you make them regular you decide to do them and there’s always going to be this like struggle to balance the
let’s let’s always do this with O and by the way let’s always do whatever the fuck with you like doing I mean is it is the regularity of the complexity of it getting getting here even now doing it like this is it since 8 like when I do my podcast I go into my studio hi I got synthesizers and I just putter around in there until something like happens that I like and it’s pry it’s very private like they were telling me that you were you felt good that you were able to do this mine is an audience and I was thinking like holy shit man I mean like doing it with an audience is madness madness it’s such a when I go on tours my podcast that’s like a it’s a heavy for me like that’s a that’s a huge it feels like big and then like anytime I do a live show it feels like
really just very intense and lasts like what it is when I record it which is just a day of just allowing whatever happens happen to happen so it’s I don’t I mean I can understand you feeling starting to really feel weird about what you’ve been doing it makes sense to me I don’t seem like I’m judging the way that you’re feeling cuz I get it man it’s just I get it I think it’s just very hyper pressurized what you’ve been doing a weekly live show in front of a really smart audience some of whom are really fucking mean the challenge is listed it’s a high-pressure thing to decide that you’re going to do something every week and then the and then the fun worthwhile pressure is the fun worthwhile activity is
it was one squeak I moved I can’t move I think that was an accident it was falling asleep and I put it on the floor like somebody’s trying to figure out how to take something that you have used to travel you guys looked at me like I spit in his drink and then also would like continue to be okay well then and on top of that then how is it always the different and challenging and fun or whatever it whatever that word is chaotic or something you know like that’s occurred with this venue
is the death of my idea that it was going to ever grow into a
into any it into something that had more structure you know I thought like maybe that would grow like thank you put up a trellis and then like a crazy chaotic thing that just Grows by Nature uses the trellis so the combination of the of the out of the moment like back-breaking carpentry plus the it’s okay that thing that everything’s just going to go over this app that’s my fantasy you doing things you know that aren’t for money I owe you go like wow that’s cool that we grew that thing in those things into this thing and like it wasn’t
they were it was neither based on us not giving a shit nor was it based on us giving too much of a shed it was just sort of like
just grew
well I think still growing just not growing way you thought it would be exactly I think that’s an important part of its growth is the yeah there was a part of the point channel on one’s history and Robin are alike are we going to keep being the ones with her thumb on the switch cuz it did the thing started this idea of the audience is always in charge then we can tweak the system to allow for us to not even be involved and that was an important thing like this like why’s this this the growth of this show I think this is an interesting chapter cuz it’s like
I was like let’s move it to starboard and then let’s Lake for the subscribers we could have like video segments and we can work really hard on the show I always thought I made the mistake of thinking I will move in and we’ll set up a foundation and then it will grow on top of that like everyone will keep wanting to add to it and it’ll like coronavirus and me and Eden in the fucking election happened and then I and then it just like every nobody nobody nobody we all across the entire country with the music changes for everybody that you deserve it didn’t matter what dance move you were about to do and what plans you had with other people just like all of it was just like fucking everything shifted and then and then the smart creative people are like okay how do we adapt to this
but there’s no question it was just like a like a Canada disrupted everything you feel like this is related to the election yes this is connected to the political climate of the United States I don’t know if it’s connected to the political climate but it’s definitely connected to the event of of like the election and it’s like social repercussions and things yes on Friday night I had of a little envelope party and I was like fuck man like this how selfish I am a fuck god dammit World War 3 is going to start on a night of this party that I’m throwing and I was like a bum cuz it’s like everybody to come and then there’s to be a nuclear war or something and it’s kind of like fuk up to party and I was like I was like God dammit such a selfish. But then I realize Like Whoa man like your I start getting anxious you know beyond that you know it
being scared and worried and nervous about world war three and then
I’m dying and then I kind of realize like oh I have no control over that like there’s nothing I could do there’s no phone calls to be made there’s nothing to be done about this these are massive massive gears that are turning and that you know I don’t know much of what can really be done about it right now but in this single moment do you think that’s naive or like a form of nihilism or you just suddenly just realize like oh actually I don’t really care about the president or political climates or Empires are Governors or principalities nor powers I’m just using my mind is becoming attached to that because there’s a bigger problem I’m trying to avoid
no I don’t I don’t think there’s anything weird or wrong with that I think isn’t it pretty much how you felt the entire time and isn’t everybody just catching up with you I don’t know I don’t know you I go back if everyone’s just exhausted and then tired of caring yeah you never really did care it would you knew it was done before everybody else like it was some of us tried and it will a herniated are fucking embarrassingly putty-like muscles of of like and then revealed that we were Hypocrites and everyone is tired now and then ya know there’s nothing there’s nothing wrong with that mode of thinking I’m I didn’t even know that we were about to be in World War 3 the student has become the master in that regard that I was I was Minecraft in like where there is no war and there is no president and you know I’m waiting waiting to you know
waiting to cash in and and head for the Hills
man this is great man I’m reading this book right now this is perfect it’s it’s his new book by the Zen roshi roshi Joan Halifax think it’s not standing on the edge to really good but it’s about Edge States and it talks about like you know altruism healthy altruism and unhealthy altruism and how like a person use like got a really good heart and you really wants things to be better really wants things to be better in the world can like fall over the edge into absolute Despair and absolute just just broken heartedness and like she was he gives out his example she’s amazing she like you know I’m like planning parties and like act like they’re having a really fun life she’s like does she like flies to you know there’s just that big earthquake that happened recently I think was in Nepal right way it was that big earthquake where was that there’s like a math wasn’t recent recently but
is she like why is the places where people are suffering and sets up camps and gets blankets flown in and like just tries to help and she doesn’t do it in a real flashy show me why I’ve I’ve met her she’s just it’s just when she’s outside. Where this here we are on planet Earth here’s what you do and Sushi encounters people who do who are doing those things with her and she watches some people get just fucking shattered on their altruism just get broken apart and their compassion his music is that cuz what happens is is like Yuki become bitter you get you go out there to help you have an expectation that you’re going to make things better you come into contact with a really a reality which is it really you’re not going to make everything better but the fact things might be getting worse while you’re trying to make things better but in your mind you were like oh no I’m going to do it or it could be done or it might be an inch
but some of your like you’re watching people bring their children to like triage centers where it’s like now that that’s that kids going to die and you’re watching that happened a day after day after day after day that’s kind of what you do with animals rob you know what I mean like if you if you don’t watch what you’re doing and you follow on the other side what ends up happening is the darkness consumes you know what that classic thing you see the thing you’re fighting you become and you don’t even realize it happened to you and then suddenly you’re all broken apart by and then the fucking thing one then that one that you know that’s the crazy thing about it is the scent the way the darkness winds is not by killing people are fighting it it went by getting into their hearts and then and then you know what I mean like sit style sorry to use estar was like that it likes it’s like it’s yet you don’t even know. Yeah it’s a cool book it’s really good I really love it and I think it’s called standing on the edge you mind if I Google it real quick
it’s like it’s about edged and I just finished
snow are there levels in Minecraft or if you don’t know why would you cut me off and you asked me about Minecraft
all right okay well can I answer it can I tell you about Minecraft a little bit
yes yeah there’s that fire behind your eyes you don’t want to hear about Minecraft just finished Gathering all the necessary ingredients for a tier-1 void resource void ore Miner from the environmental tacpack in Minecraft that’s badass yeah it took a great deal of diamonds and other materials that were hard to come by I went to monsterpalooza this afternoon with Kumail and Jonah
and we looked at monster
caluda’s
you ain’t masks
yes masks and bootleg DVDs by therapist told me the name of some guy that like I don’t know I said I guess I said like oh can you you know you taught me to deal with like relationships like explaining rules and stuff is there rules for how to be interested in people cuz it seems like
that’s become that what we’re really talking about for me is like the when I talk about the election I don’t mean oh everything changed because of who became president I mean I mean we all
like our whole mission statement change to end and my there for me is a parasite as a person who’s like just just always wanted to fit in or make you feel like me and I could beat you up or just be funny or whatever like that scrambled my signal so like
is it that’s a good thing because then it then you you finally get to a place where you like Okay so let’s just care about Dan what do you what do you want right and then you go okay well we’ll walk back down at the end okay and then what’s left to sort of like other people like what am I supposed to have a supposed to interact with them and like you know the therapist gave me some materials or something to look at but I kind of like it’s just like a sink full of dishes like I don’t want to learn how to how to how to interact with people she’s like trying to show you I don’t understand I’m not I don’t know either cuz it’s like I haven’t unpacked it you know like like like oh look up this guy read his book watches Ted talk but you know like go you’ll enter this realm of like this guy is like a guy who
like the Erie this thing that you’re talking about this guy would be helpful to know right but I don’t I just wrote it down and I’m like yeah when I go these Ram Dass retreat they always talk about mine versus heart like being up in your head vs. in your heart and all that stuff so heavy it’s all mental it’s all like rubbing your head is like those books will get you up and you right now that bad books are great but like some of those it’s like as opposed to just like I love it cuz it’s so simple cuz it’s like just what you’re in right now it’s perfect it’s fine even if it think you’re in right now is simmering cauldron of whatever it is it’s that I did like yeah that’s where we’re at right now and that thing and then feel that I’m going to change it that’s his thing that
how do I turn a pee my children did another Buddhist teacher she says people say oh we’re going to start meditating
because we want to be a better person and she says that’s an aggression against the you that you are right now the idea is not to meditate to become a better person that is to meditate so that you could feed be yourself more fully feel yourself more fully I love that idea I just so fun to just play around the idea that where you’re at right now this this where you’re at this where you’re at it’s perfect yeah if I myself last comment like that like dark places I’ve been really upset
disconnect my dog getting sick except for these things like you like operas in your head yeah like pockets of magma things like okay now I have an excuse to flush that vein of guava I don’t know what’s going on down there but I do on top it’s like the reality not the illusion is numbness and Stillness and so then I have these conversations with people like my therapist or they’re just anybody who’s like actually interested goes like will what where are you really at and then I found myself going I guess you know she comes out like like what do you mean don’t you think this is the other person like once so much more than Stillness and numbness and they can have it but then that’s that’s that’s fracking like I just looked okay where you’re going to pierce me and you’re going to dig down and it’s not necessarily more true what’s boy
feeling down to Panini’s in the core of the earth like that’s no more of the earth than the crust in the polar ice caps and all the stuff like I I just feel on my Surface right now like I just like num ya dumb yeah it’s like I just reduced to like I bet the end of what I noticed in my behavior is like well you haven’t gotten a Twitter in like 3 days and you didn’t even do it by saying you were going to quit Twitter for 3 days like you forgot to get on Twitter because you’re fucking numb and with numbness comes also you don’t need to self abuse what is the what how would you like if you had two instead of just saying numbness like how would you describe the numbness what it what is it how would you describe it if you couldn’t use the word numb
stasis I don’t know I mean is it is it if it were is it solid is it like malleable is it is it is it changing does it come and go would have a color associated with it is it okay to take like how would you do what is it
I think I feel like it’s like I don’t know if I controlled it or someone else did but I feel like it’s like going around the house it’s a 10 like shutting off like
lately it’s a terror it’s it’s like like like like like there’s like white noise that you get used to it was like oh I’m on a submarine so like I just here all the time background noise sounds like that cuz that’s what it takes to run a submarine and then like
it’s just Silent Running like you just like oh one by one you just turning off equipment
I don’t know if I did that or if that’s like a Russian weapon that or you know what I mean like I’m not going to claim credit for I was just an interesting thing that has happened let’s just shutting down yeah we kind of energy that sort of field Gear with some energy and then that energy is now turning itself off
yeah I like like like like but but for a purpose like waiting it’s about time it’s about like we were being counterproductive with the worrying and and the painting in the periscoping in the states so like OK Google deep and shut everything off and just
do you know like in it because it not because nothing is important because everything is important because we’re hunting the Red October I don’t know lake lake lake 8 it’s the time for for nothing right now it doesn’t feel purposeless right I feel like if I thought that this was my new life I put a bullet in my head cuz I feel like that’s boring but I I feel anticipation I feel like
like okay. Wrapping up
like everything all of my energy creatively has been put into like time not some things going like okay I need to get this off my plate not do I say no to that pitch. Don’t do that don’t start that don’t promise that and then like let everything like like come down to a
to add to add to a point of complete silence and then so that that work is tricking
start and the metaphor mixer.con 10 makes the metaphor of a submarine in the orchestra
monsterpalooza
big is a fuck about that stupid ass fucking Camille did you buy any masks but I bought a bunch of DVDs that I’m going to watch when I get home I bought as a curly album
monster album
zacherle monster album
listen to that of my turntable
and I bought some DVDs
I’m mad because I got that that breathalyzer keychain and I was like really excited about it but
you have to wait 15 minutes
to get an accurate reading
it makes no sense that bad
is it a weight you have to breathe on it and there’s that there’s the directions for the breathalyzer
wait 20 minutes blow into the thing and then you’ll know how drunk your mother fucker if I had the presence of mind I got the things I feel 60 bucks I thought this might be a cool way to like create awareness start putting a number if I let you know if I am an asshole if I’m angry if I yell like start start putting like road flares on a tie you know he doesn’t call me anymore
dude that’s cool that’s like there’s a man I just pulled that out of my ass right now over by the cops and they and they go like are you do you want to blow into this thing like are you actually supposed to say well you want to give me 20 minutes cuz I just
I like it’s counterintuitive but it might but it but maybe they’re dirty little secret is that they’re like they ask you are you willing to blow a breathalyzer because your instinct as a drunk driver is to say they are they are they maybe they say that I’ve never been pulled over for like an unchecked like that but maybe maybe they say when is the last last time you had a drink and then let and if you say I just had one like 5 minutes before I got my car the irony is you’re allowed to wait 15 more minutes but no one wants to say that cuz it sounds like a confession of drunk driving you have to wait 15 minutes before you blow into it yeah but I don’t I’m I’m hoping that that’s a that’s a function of the cheap Shih Tzu keychain say but I like Dominic isn’t there like they give you a choice you can blow the breathalyzer here or you can go down to the station and blow into
breathalyzer there don’t you don’t they give you a choice I heard that and they say
you know go down to the station Because by the time you get to the station and probably sober up enough to not be dragged into a war if it if it if it is their equipment works the same way as this piece of shit I got from Amazon sober or not your result if you just like you know if it within 20 minutes like is is just off the fucking charts is not accurate it’s not accurate unless you wait a bit but I’m thinking come on it’s got to be just because the the cheap ones I don’t know get it get it get it get a $70 one get a fancy one good money after bad and get a fancy one get one with your name on it I just got a breathalyzer yeah just do it just just do it just let it all hang out with another $10
they had technology that was so like like the the contest is like if you could digitally know immediately how drunk you were like if it was a simple as GPS like you don’t have to put any effort into it and then you could just choose to set your Twitter or your phone and general your text messages but you choose your settings like when you’re sober but like you are Andy Dick right now my leg leg runting and you’re about to text your cell and saw like you could lead to create lists of people if they can hook it up if your Apple watch could connect your iPhone to library underneath each photo it showed your blood alcohol level that would be incredible email settings to be like hey like
when you were sober you make me promise that when you click send on an email I would go okay I sent it and then wait 6 hours and then review all so long ago
like what do you thinks the worst drunk tweet you ever did I don’t know
I don’t know I mean like the drunkest most out of control stuff and yeah it was just like there was an article about it was like some some some like yelled at some kid for for 3 hours or something you’re sober guy Rob huh you ever blast out any drunk tweets
yeah but nothing angry just something stupid
I kind of think of it’s a dumbest thing I’ve ever tweeted it’s hard
to categorize it
probably be easier if I just want to feel drunk at a party once and I said I’m going to go fuck those black girls or something like that I think that’s probably I think I said I think I screamed that to you from across the the the party is probably the worst thing I’ve ever done you muttered it through gritted teeth to me and Jeff are a lonely I was ugly lonely I do not like that time in my life that was a really really dark time
I think we’ve all been there
ugly lonely me a drunk black man only the only thing that makes you graceful lonely is time which is really just saying your taste buds go dead do you know like it’s there’s no there’s no hero or villain in that process it’s like for my experience year if you don’t know loneliness enough yet you over react to it and act like a big fucking tool that is going to embarrass you later when you become mature which becoming mature does not involve you going to a Crossroads and learning the blues because you really wanted to involve yourself becoming mature the laziest least mature people become mature because they get old and tired and they start experiencing the same fucking shit over and over again because they don’t make any effort to change so there’ll only a million times and then they’re like this is

so bad it’s kind of like the last time and I know it’ll end again and that’s not wisdom and it shouldn’t be real I hate that we when we get old like I rode young people when really it’s just like yeah yeah like every game Spider-Man for is the third movie you’ve ever seen. Like really good guy why are we arguing I’ve seen 700 more movies than you do I don’t remember the last 30 because my brain is dying I like we don’t do anything heroic to transform we don’t like game we don’t level up because we’re good people we just like to keep living and tasting shit and we get bored with it well. That’s the one thing I love about Buddhism is a concept of fundamental dissatisfaction which is the idea that your that is actually to be human so it sits in it so. I think the big why is that comes from all the fucking Spider-Man movies and all the movies and lots of stuff
is we tell these people going in and out it gets better way that gnawing empty thing inside of you I’ll go away and if food is like no that’s like a fish staying one day I’m going to be dry when when your dryer dead fish and in the same way for a human to think that that thing goes away is one of the great ways of human torture is itself the idea of looking forward to it like that’s a good thing it’s that would be like saying are the best example I can think of is imagine if he’s like Parkland kids that that that whatever comes of what they did just imagine if they had been cool enough to realize how little there you don’t care in 10 years or had they taken cues from all the people previously they just think they reacted from the from the place that they were in and it was like yeah they didn’t react like 30 year olds and 4 year olds and as a result like they got shit done that
I don’t know like like we will end the end young filmmakers and and everything young we worship you this but we make fun of its naivete I like like wisdom is just it’s just it’s just it’s just dying a little bit it’s just they just going like ants gets a little boring over my dad I was like I was like 25 and he was over all DUIs and I just couldn’t believe how old my dad was and I was like I was a legitimate question to my head and I was like if it was if he was any other human being I wouldn’t I would know that this would be tacky and rude then I could punch tour would be just like your dad said just like fuk it this is the guy I can ask this question because fuck him and I was like so now that you’re this old like you’re scared that you’re going to die and stuff like what you thinking about like what it must be to have to think about.
all the time and I remember my dad being like me
as
and I’ve been alive a long time and
nice nice to get kind of boring depressed well I wasn’t to think that I just don’t think that’s true and I used to think it though I know people think that but when they’re when I’ve been numb down I thought that but I don’t think that’s actually it for me you and I certainly don’t want to I don’t want to make the mistake of going like I figured it out that’s the one law by which the Universe goes I keep going because I know that there’s this other beauty of it is you stumble upon something really beautiful and in your heart you know man I like kind of like came out of the closet with this wrong. Stuff you know I have a guru and I am really I feel really good and I used to feel really bad and I feel really really good and I feel love in my life and I feel really good I know it’s like it feels lame to say that but
but I used to think like what you the way you were talking I used to think it was like an infinite more doors Escape or something and then it just goes on forever kind of never-ending more doors gave him the fact maybe it just gets worse and worse and then what happens is all this fucking shit that hippies are saying you hear it and when you and you from that Mordor scape you shut the fuck up that can’t be real it’s not real but then you kind of that stuff entryway you know and then you start like you’re like what I would do is kind of like I am going to be like this like an anthropologist I’m going to go into this and I’m going to find out where it’s not real by being part of it and then you start realizing it’s real and then that thing that you’re talkin about that afflicts a great many people which is that sense of like oh fuck my brains riding I’m getting old it just gets boring this is terrible LOL might like that thing you realize all my God it doesn’t have to be like that for real and now you’re in a real predicament because you either have to when people
saying things like what you’re saying you have to decide like all my God am I going to be the fucking guy says that thing and or am I going to keep my mouth shut about it where am I going to be like roll it like being cynical or try to tune into like that and now it’s like fuk I have to say it cuz it’s incredibly on advacal if I don’t and if you know what I mean it’s incredibly and have to go to be like no I know you mean you know or did not say it actually it. It doesn’t work like that you know it it can if it can and that’s okay I mean the the lineage I’ve become part of the Paradigm is not one Incarnation it’s like we get many many many of these things and that is not stay to take it for granted but it’s also today in this one you really just might be miserable for the entire Incarnation but what’s the dates they don’t say that would like a you really might be
Super Bowl for this entire Incarnation you don’t do what they say they just might be the same like yeah this one it might be a sad one for you and in in and that’s okay that’s okay not to be like no you could be like you should be better now this is a perfect Universe wish there was more standardized language about
mood and stuff I feel like
I feel like if I answer the question honestly with how are you doing in a bar to someone and like very often people will be like oh you’re so hard on yourself I hope you get better and I’ll stuff and I’ll be like you don’t understand I’m incredibly happy yeah that’s it yeah like I I’m just ashamed of myself by default like I am filled with shame which is like a above a mechanism like it’s like my Plumbing like need to be like like wrenched a little bit in therapy and stuff goes like flooded when I just run on shame I like like you add device could run on water and could run on Steam and could run on oil like I’d like like I just like like you just Shane just like like there’s a lubricant shame is the fucking like another way to put that would be the thing you currently Think You Are
thinks it runs on shame you know but that’s not you know that the ideas like really the thing that you are is much bigger than a thing that thinks it runs on same part of another way to put a be there is shame here or there is shame another way to put it’s called noting and Buddhism you just watch it shame you still like and then what you’re doing is like something that Sharon salzberg call Dad on so shame happens you feel shame that’s it there is shame but then the mind starts attaching all this shit to the same rights and now it becomes like this sort of recurrent it just goes on and on and on with the Mind thing I do cuz of their shame this must be this and that must mean that much to me. Not so that’s called in Buddhism The Poisoned Arrow you get hit by the arrow
that’s the first pain shame usually it’s a triggering thing it’s not even shame it’s like something happens and the event is the arrow and then that than shame and then all the add-ons but really it’s a shame there is shame here in this field of matter, human body and then that’s it you just did with it and then when the add-ons come all the stuff other stuff too it’s like okay that’s there to do you say I’m a machine that runs on chin
I’ve is true now you know what I mean yeah I didn’t mean to Proclaim it as like a whole thing of like
like I am changing and I’m going to change like I’m not resigned to the way that I run shit but I like
yeah I just kind of like I said I just feel like I feel like it’s just like people go like they listen to me talk and then they go like always so depressed and he’s so sad are you so you know what I’d like to know if you talk like the way I’m talking then that might be indicative that would lose these might be words that you would only say if you were about to put a gun in your mouth Yes but like because of how fucked-up I am like this is like like you know these are my metaphors and this is my language and this is this is my Baseline it it does need to be improved and late but that’s the same as like somebody who’s middle class saying I need to be rich like The middle-class person is I think my my middle line is just
there’s a lugubriousness to the to the language because it’s based on shame because the other guy I died went into my therapist office and it was like
is she she’s like how did how’d it go how’d it go with Nigel and all the stuff and it was like he’s good he’s better since I saw him in a much better mood I’m feeling very good now Nigel’s feeling better at Bigfoot cuz they’re our last session Nigel is very sick and I was very very upset and I was like I was saying like I have this like I don’t know where to put this rage and shame I can’t get rid of it and she we spent the entire hour doing all these exercises of like going underneath this lahren that learn all this stuff so that way we were on the sidewalk and walk like a fucking python sketch and whatever the fuck and like all of it had different effects and things but and it wasn’t about it working or not working but the bottom line is it came back to the office and I was like just like how is that and I’m like it’s it’s on fire
like thanks for blowing on it or putting a blanket over it for a second but the blanket is flammable and it’s like there’s a fire I can’t I just want to beat something to death I want to kill I want to hurt I want to finish something I want to hurt something and I and I and I know I’m not supposed to want that and I can’t Bubba blah and you know we got to that session so then a week later I come I come back in now during that week Nigel gets better
so then I sit in the chair and she goes like how are you how is it going with Nigel’s better so I feel fucking great I walked into that room on a rainbow I was like one of those days with Mike wall this is two hundred bucks wasted because I feel great but and then she’s like wool so see making progress right and I’m like and then the whole session is based on the fact that my response to that was like no no progress made whatsoever absolutely none yeah the only thing that happened is my dog got better
I didn’t learn how to handle anyting but you when your cat got sick you punched a wall yes this time did you punch no I did not so we would call that progress for the wall Masons Union like like like if Jack the Ripper chokes a hooker to death on Monday and then on Wednesday like he just sits in a pub and 5th and draws pictures in his notebook about dead hookers great day for hookers great amount of progress from Monday to Wednesday great day for his victims not for him
not in my opinion and so we fought and fought a baby I thought she was like she basically was like the whole time is like making me realize how hard you’re fighting you don’t want to say that you are better but I mean maybe or not and then he’s like when she didn’t want it she was like she was like asking me like this your God believe in incremental change your God willing to does your God to think that a little bit of progress is is is good enough
as likely honest answer is no no I do not worship God that gives out medals for for doing better than yesterday by Scosche I don’t either that’s because I created that God and the center I created the god I sure did motherfuker I am proud of you create a God I pray that’s how you do it is prayer dear God make a God for Duncan what God did you play based God man you got to start listening to will be that’s you know not to give you a person doing great but the answer is to say thank you based God and Hope For His blessings and then you know who knows not that you need anyone’s blessings or anything like that but have you heard little be squeaky chair
we hurt his feelings. I keep thinking is like man what is your definition of I mean forget the whole God thing what’s your definition of I like what do you think you are definition of what you love you what do you think you are I love me answer that thank you
he’s great
you’re great what else like what do you think you are what are you
I’m up for a fragment of an explosion of a of a thing that that
only knew that being was better than not being and yeah my shard
with like different amounts of this and that in it then other shards cuz it’s not uniform how big are you
shark sized what size like your human size foot to your size your bike or are you getting it do I see myself on a kind of map is like somehow more important than other people know not that at all I’m saying like you know when you’re when you start self-referencing in any situation you already know this I know what you started self-referencing you immediately or stuck with IQ talk about it when I say this. It’s going to sound like I’m saying here you talk about yourself like we all do you talk about yourself a lot I’m this thing I’m that thing this is what I am this is our field is who I am is what I am and then you start playing this game where you write okay okay who’s talking about me like what’s that the thing was saying what Dan is what’s that
you know the Watcher is what they call it or the witness
yeah I don’t know that things interesting huh it’s like what is that it’s this thing watching you and it’s making this, you’re making a comment or it’s watching the commentary in fact but there was a grievous thing with my therapist put it out cuz I was I was saying like look I think the thing is the problem is like because you said just your guy to have standards or just or does he have compassion does you just have standards did you have compassion I said I’d honestly honest answer you cuz I’m going to fucking yelled at for it I could lie and say you have compassion and then I’d look like with no I’ll tell you the truth my God has just standards why why does he have compassion because compassion is the idea that the Godlike was holding rooting for you and that’s an insane thing to do and a den den den Zoe’s it was like like like those those those AI those robots that on the YouTube videos that guy from MIT that created them you know how to express his love for that thing is pride in that thing in his desire that it be the best robotic can be his
what comes in the frame and he tries to kick it to fuck over as hard as he can because he created it for the purpose of proving that it can overcome that and that can walk like a god no matter what comes in and goes like no fuck you you thought you knew everything about walking now fuck you right and then end of the road that goes like this and then it starts walking and that’s when you’re watching Youtube too gauche it we’re going to we’re going to be hunted to extinction because you’re recognizing superiority not you’re not going to go look at it stumble you’re like oh shit that mother fucker knows I don’t walk right when it gets kicked anyways the the that I was trying to explain that to her and then she was like how did you not meet God standards because I already learned this shit and I said I said you know I recognized and I was doing the script I got to finish this script because like you said I’m sitting on the script because it’s my last chance to make myself miserable and then
I finished the script like now I can do what I’m afraid of doing is moving on I like dealing with life you know instead of just like sucking my thumb and going to go like it’s just like you just did a little hole
where you control one of your miserable or you control the cause of your misery you think and then I was like okay finish the script because you know what it’s time to move on because Cody might get sick anyone might get sick of Syria might explode on my block like I might find a ball in my nuts and my balls in like to join that Fred called life and I had made up my mind that I was ready to do that and then God gave me the littlest tiniest little nibble of of life’s caviar called your dog is like trembling us if it has she stopped me and said all right stop right there stop
the characterization of your dog trembling and vomiting and needing to be taken to the hospital as a little nibble of caviar
is called a distortion
like you’re you you have chosen to believe in a God that has bigger fish to fry than your dog
and the things that make you upset
so that’s what I want you to think about is like like like why the god that you chose isn’t the actual one true one you know it’s a model why would you choose your model to be so fucking like distorted I don’t need to do this but I could be who is choosing who is this I said that that’s kind of like chicken egg thing where you go if you’re a miserable person you create a miserable guy to the God create you know you can do it or not a God you’re still dealing with this like interesting thing happened to the human which is there is this field of awareness right miserable person give a miserable map of the University of the miserable person to miserable person is within a field of awareness there’s a field about feel like in the bar do I get it they say there is the field and then or of the field so what happens to humans as we get caught up in the in the field so and then that’s when all the
things start happening like you caught up in the field so you like when I get caught up in my field myself my life might become selfish literally selfish because I’m deeply caught in my own self like deep we got my eye on South that selfishness and so but then when you start playing around this concept was like wait a minute wait a minute there is awareness here it seems to be watching this thing happen right that is where it is where it gets interesting because when you start like playing around with that field of awareness like you can you look in the mirror you can’t look back at you can’t you have to look in a mirror to see yourself you can’t see yourself right now you have to get two similar problem this is this this field of awareness what is it is it is it Consciousness what is it but would in that field all the drama is happening right the drama is happening within the field of awareness in the field of awareness is watching so
the practice or one of the practice of mindfulness is not to change anything not to change anything except to watch now we’re watching another words we are trying to shift ourselves from being the field to identifying with an order of the field and to the concept is moving from
Individual identity to salt to the soul Identity or they like the universal Consciousness that’s the practice cuz you fucking fart I think it was a fart not the chair has a smell like sulfur when I could be because you talking all this talk of awareness like like identification with the awareness that’s it if there’s a cameras there to make you feel ashamed if you look fat from a certain angle stop reacting to that but like like people walked by a camera and a department store when do we get all confused and we start waving our arms itself become the camera for a second like that’s what you’re trying to do anyway wondering it How fat you are or what you’re doing wrong all the stuff like oh that the invitation is to become a more objective point of view because other people will enter that frame yeah you’ll become a character
and you’ll become a Shard along with her as I’d like like you put your money where your mouth is instead of like reacting to seeing yourself on the scoreboard by getting more obsessed with your bald spot you go holyshit I’m a I’m looking at myself from the perspective of the stadium interesting interesting it’s interesting and ended only thing is it’s like they wouldn’t say you were you were you become that they say you are that and that thing has become entangled in this thing so it’s not that you become it’s actually that’s what you want. It’s what you were in the first place otherwise you wouldn’t we wouldn’t talk to him we do we don’t like cuz I’m such a piece of shit like talking about a character like so you’re already David milch like you’re not you’ve never been Al swearengen lately like that you you were always David milch now what you have to do is remember that you’re not like I
but there is no Deadwood in the area is a fucking sat at your self remembering yeah I remember your true identity you know
the baby and David milks man alright well right now I sure wish I’m going to throw them forever but I’m going through a David milch situation
I feel like Dave do you feel David milch I’m sorry I don’t know if I can imagine him to feel name where is Mel’s yeah that I feel like this is David Mills to you
I will be like David welcome David melt feeling David
David Bowie
David beltz will depart
that’s white noise man you guys fuck that would you be scared David Milky Way he’s here he’s always here watching in my heart remember remember him remember remember remember did you guys see Coco
it’s about remembering people the sign language gorilla now I taught jippy Robin Williams tickling Coco Coco was laughing and and doing like this and and Robin was going to Mindy and it was beautiful
I just said Jeff instead of gift and I know I noticed that did you did you guys think I was smart I thought maybe it was sharing a hotel with
WW2. HTML
do you wear listening I heard the GIF pronunciation yeah I’m in my super loser
yeah I heard that
you you went to a fucking convention and you know what I’m not it’s not my job to be jealous I don’t care about me at all ya know you will get paid for caring I wasn’t getting out of that hotel you what you were put here for our man is really bumming my nuts he’s being mean he’s beat you know. But that even your friend Dan Harmon I’m written yes you are written and not well you are a placeholder character lineup drops awesome that’s really funny
what are you in response to a network note Jesus Christ
I was being sarcastic
I’m like
did he thought of yours I wanted to teach them a lesson or asking the writer to add him feel like David milk at all I think David melts needs to get melt that’s a problem no character David milch
I miss you
David yes you see juicy dread
dead did Judge Dredd movie
did you like it I wrote it you wrote it I wrote the people that wrote it did you like them I don’t like any of my characters who wrote hahaha that’s totally on the page for those off the page no there is no answer
there definitely isn’t an answer that’s not an answer that’s a shitt answer melt on the margins in between my Brad’s and Ponder your fate and your monologues you don’t understand how it works off the page no one asked those questions off the page there is only milch
so you just have always been forever
there was a time before milch
b m
BM BM was literally the time before you but you’re the result of b m it’s a paradoxical movement that the Universe shout out and started writing character got no milk she came out on Mill G I feel unwelcome here I will fade out now Mac
Bechamel Mac Milk real milk yeah Shumway walking around our way milt’s what happened to David after you put his dick in the beans did he put his dick in beans beans beans is this woman that was like a set decorator or David Meltzer lake at the at the scrap service Table leg right are at a party or something like he don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about maybe it was and I was like probably egg from I don’t know it was like
now that dreg you you were hanging out with Chris McKenna but there are a bunch of people that saw it at that Dave David David must put his dick in some beans and then I got there because there was a bunch of cuz he’s like it basically like he took some beans from the crap service table and then he like he like he had his dick and beans and then like
and everybody’s like waiting in line to get their food and then he’s just like doing that and everybody’s like you mine the way I was introducing the concept was that they were right here isn’t like they amongst each other like they use the Expression like oh man I really put the put my dick in the bees like to mean like what I mean is no he wasn’t doing it to feel good he was doing a bit about like I know I know you have more questions about why he did it but I don’t know because like their perspective is that he did it and then and then I was like there was a weird silence and because of the guy and tried to put his dick and beans and then and then and then said that they are after it it it was an expression among these writers have like over my over by over reached that was feeling my oats or I I got kind of like my face or but but but I did it because I was
that makes me feel like the scenario is like milt’s was like trying to be funny website his dad puts it in the beans and everybody kind of went oh oh too far all right I guess we’re not going to laugh at me putting my dick in the beans okay what did you bring to the table bananas
how to get weighed I mean not that it’s it’s it’s doesn’t matter cuz it’s really missing the point that I do think that like it would probably feel good to put your dick in warm or cold don’t even think about it warmer coat a great point it’s not even if you ever do food sex stuff like I tried that my twenties cuz if I see it in like Playboy videos or whatever they’re like oh let’s get out the honey in the whipped cream and I was like yeah that was a sticky like who wants him about to come so why would you think that your fakery is your girlfriend would suddenly become sexy if she had whipped cream-like like now like like a whipped cream is usually experience in a contained
are minutes on top of Frozen ice cream at it and now there’s that you get to see what is made of and like soda on your like linoleum and then you don’t get to it right away and then you walk across it with your socks and it’s got like dog hair on it now add come out well it should have started there but that’s enough another episode of harmontown I don’t know the list of names that Jeff knows thank you for thank you thank you church for taking photos thank you thank you exactly are you a maniac for being an audio person thank you Christopher off Thank you Sara Hill for for for making sure everybody can see everything thank you Kevin Day wherever you are for being the Alfred off off site for Marco Island and making sure that it gets
disseminated
what’s that
oh we’re going to be in Boston Long Island on a date that I
22nd 22nd 23rd I don’t understand how time works I tell time by seasons of television shows and ex wives like I know what will next week is work out of it at some point we’re going to be in Boston in Long Island I don’t June 22nd June 23rd really June yeah the million gift for coming don’t be dismayed by this webinar next time you get invited to do the show I loved it might be an audience but even if there’s not you would love it anyway and I mean yeah let’s do it more of these thank you Robert Robert give you my iPad back to say thank you faced guy make you based God for the helping me win the Inn
play playoffs pretty gay
you can you get cursed by him if you not in the NBA the base. It doesn’t throw that those curses out it’s not it’s not even my place to talk about it’s good you said that it’s sick
Chantel milty that’s it and Drake and turn your lives I’ll see you when I’m working out tomorrow and Instagram I just realized how dumb you are
he didn’t mean love how dumb you are loved it but like 11 enough that you don’t make it my problem that’s what I did and I know I’m going to sit here and do 6 minutes and fucking commercials for City fucking
horrible piece of shit
no no we’re going to we’re going to do it together. Glad you offered
goodnight goodnight everybody
love you all let me know if you guys

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