Episode: 318 – MC Non-Binary Chicken

Episode

Episode: 318 – MC Non-Binary Chicken

Description

Open Mike Eagle returns to talk about dog heaven, babies and bird poop with Dan, Jeff and Spencer. Featuring Dan Harmon, Jeff Bryan Davis, Spencer Crittenden and Open Mike Eagle.

Transcript

hello
welcome
give me one moment to settle down here give it up or laying down the jams up there
give it up for church down in front making all the photos happen
anybody go to the women’s March
wow that was disappointing
three people in one of them lied
all right
Ariana
a beautiful downtown Los Angeles near MacArthur Park hepatitis district harmontown is once again inspection
for your delectation and devices bring out the game master and our good friend mr. Crittenden
I’m having to be here from hell that damned Alyssa Pimpernel is welcome
yep yep MLK MLK day don’t go away it’s a great day honoring a man that’s made love to hay while the sun Shone even though it didn’t okay yeah we got a lot
I don’t know if you can see there’s a little soundboard my laptop behind me but we’re probably going to be doing some stuff are sharing please come bearing gifts ohyeah he’s got the alcohol ice bucket
we honor a man today that whose Wikipedia page is probably crippled for 24 hours I know I was all over it in the green room so that I could learn the following really interesting stuff for me I like some some some tidbits that I I didn’t know he invented the typewriter he was suffering from depression when he was a kid their stories about you know that having causes obviously that wasn’t a big deal mental Fitness wasn’t like a it wasn’t like an understood thing back then I do think it was by the FBI fucking crazy if you knew it’s never a good idea for a government to write a letter to a guy saying we have recordings of you fucking all these women you should save your you know that letter that the FBI wrote to him in his adulthood at the peak of him being targeted by Hoover what I didn’t know is and what Hoover Shirley new
when that letter was sent to him is that he tried to jump out of window when he was 12 years old he did jump out of window I didn’t try he tried to kill himself real hard on them physically but his dad was kind of an inspiration to him in terms of like his his Dads Dads his dad personality being very uncompromising what is it’s a funny thing because here’s his dad is like
can a not afraid to take a stick to somebody but at the same time probably part and parcel of that Persona is also why his dad would do these things like you know if somebody called him boy he would you know he wouldn’t wouldn’t lay down for any would confront people are he’d walk out of a store that that then ask him to go in the back and things like that so he’s watching these two things you know from this from the mythical father looks like the Punisher and the music is like the devil and God came at the same time I’ll pick about this guy what are the other tidbits did I learn
is it was I didn’t know that there was that he was born but his dad changed the the names to Martin I think it for him and his son after he went in the thirties to Germany and he was so inspired by the story of Martin Luther King had to change the king I don’t know if it was Martin Luther King jr. was born Michael in the birth certificate was changed later to Martin I Believe Wikipedia
I was realizing like at JFK get assassinated right so he threw the MLK quotes for your Instagram you know you’re going to Steven Seagal you scroll down you see like a fair share of of like real christ-like like go into the spiritual mattress in terms of like if there’s a unless you’re willing to die for something which doesn’t matter kind of stuff lately more more than one quote about that you had you have to know that this guy like more than anybody ever like he kind of like had to make peace with that idea that I am probably going to get very likely to get assassinated the president of the United States died and you know like he watched it happen during the day so like what what am I going to hide behind
and even if they did who died first RFK or or MLK Bobby Kennedy get shot and like civil rights activist to the FBI is trying to make kill yourself I mean you have to be just like there must be almost maybe the only good news is that is that maybe you get to wake up in the morning and be like okay so like get over that or don’t lately I leave the house today it’s because I got a mission cuz if if my objective is safety then I guess I should shut the fuk up and but you know like hide under a rock and I’ll probably still find me this reminds me very much of Gethsemane in and that you Tucson
anybody of any U2 song
fucking hate you too
why isn’t YouTube on my I didn’t download it it’s on my fucking I only have to wash it for the rest of your life going and I got could I do to you to make my own o
it’s a meme that says two Jews one brain know what does that mean maybe the Jews aren’t as smart as a whole person is there isn’t a reference to say that I’m sorry I thought it was now I just promoted them but I’ll do it my tires noting that it’s a comedy podcast podcast to use one brain so now we know are probably okay saying to choose one brand and if they are I’m not willing to get that comfortable yet I’m still on
I got you don’t just picked up I think you should be sorry in advance for a while or something I don’t know I don’t mind if it’s a good podcast but I don’t want I don’t want pizza or people it’s sitting in my seat going like a wooden at what do I got to do to get yellow out and I don’t know I don’t know nice people I don’t know what to tell you I’m sorry
does a podcast that’s good your punishment if we drink a little bit of traffic to them enough to keep them from getting a little job for brains and tagged 324 branch.com I will signal boost a couple of things does just Netflix things this is our next segment that will bring our guests this is Dan Harmon’s life now is sitting in bed watching Netflix
all right what you got to watch the Bravo dirty John a Temptation even if you heard the podcast crazy the brought the Bravo dirty John thing is that what’s that besides what have you chilling like 8 hours I got somewhat more enjoyable because the thing is having what a list of the podcast then you know that the young ladies put their all the actors are killing it but the young ladies were playing the daughters you know from listening to their interviews in the podcast that they’re not doing caricatures is really interesting seeing these daughters I can’t I won’t spoil the story of dirty John but these these daughters are just like so that if you wrote characters like this in your sick time or your movie they would be so you would by default you be like oh and they’re bad people just because of the trappings of them
just like these these these kind of like they they they judge their moms relationships and police them and all these things because the mom’s been divorced four times and it just sort of like that you a chai tea latte oh my God was he here again and it just started like they stayed there fully committed to these characters but their great actors playing these characters plus those daughter’s house which is all I can really say about the story without spoiling it but it’s just interesting as a writer exercise when you are like yeah there’s there’s characters with deps that you’re supposed to like and then there’s characters that are like so fun because their two-dimensional but only in a real life adaptation of something as a writer forced to take people that actually sounded seem to dimensional and and and walk them to the story where they their their their Heroes and it is like it’s Stranger Than Fiction kind of thing
you’re going to like it and we watch it watch it for 30 seconds you watch at 4:40 and me and that’s the Harmon guarantee on dirty John documentary three identical strangers check that out I think that everybody’s talking about that abducted in plain sight
boo doggy
boy at what price Mormonism is it a check that one out just I don’t even know why I listen to the Elizabeth Smart book on tape I was so it’s just weird the double-edged sword because like the only way she survived that ordeal was boys through her face like I mean she’s such a resilient person as a genuinely admire whenever I see it whenever in real life you hear stories about that involve Mormonism it’s like you you come up against this like you guys really you really believe in God has crazy how much you believe in God but I don’t really get some through shit and it makes their make some friendly and like forgive being like the Forgiveness like the weaponized forgiveness that it’s crazy like they’re able to forgive the fuck out of things
and I’m a truly inspirational to admit anybody use a become mainstream just run-of-the-mill Podunk fucking blue pill Christian you had to take that what’s what color pill would be Mormonism you got to take that pill
anyways but but why I just saw this documentary The abducted in plain sight it’s another tale of of of child exploitation in abduction and stuff like that but it is like only in the within a Mormon Community is as it does it seem it’s stuff as possible it’s just that it’s just crazy watch it and then we’ll talk about it I’ll give you a week
but I did like you’re watching a Cody and I were talking about he’s like a little Mormon saying I should have received when they go to their Mormon college and stuff in there like regular biological horny teenagers but they’re Mormon like they have developed these every river any religion if you’re committing to it and you’re a teenager or there’s going to be these things are going to develop this is not us this is not about judging anybody for their for their faith or it were saying like oh those people are crazy anybody anybody know any place where there’s if you got to believe in God and you’re living in America you some shifts going to be nuts as a by-product so this is not this is not about punching down keep he proclaimed
whew it’s like it’s like if you’re like really Catholic you know that I’m still a virgin if we do it in the butt that kind of thing so so now that I’ve said that if you do not judging like where was with soaking where they like the kids get themselves convinced like that you know will if you just put it in and you move it
bike back and forth so if you just marinate it
you’re not. God doesn’t hear that in a quiet place if you if you don’t move the dick
yeah when I was a kid I was soaked into the West I was spoken with the Mormon that I love the best believe this this is the part where I actually I mean I like that can’t be real and then we we looked it up and who knows if you look something up the mother’s real or not but along with soaking comes the concept of jumpers jumpers are friends whose Aid you solicit if the soaking as I imagined it would starts to become unsatisfied and you still have your friends come over and I love you and and and there and they stand on the mattress and kind of jumping
you’re soaking that’s all it is for justice and you’re still getting into heaven you just go all the way with it and like all the the sperm that comes out in the event of a of an over jumps Oak like that just say that that sperm doesn’t count because the tadpoles are Lutheran or something like the baby in like raise it like as a conceived as a jumper baby but so you can do whatever you want and then you can have you can have caffeine you can have caffeine you can watch Raggedy Ann and Andy
special at school
I don’t know if mom is at the is that like Jehovah’s Witnesses like the Jehovah’s Witnesses aren’t had to leave the room when we were in grade school and when we would sing Christmas carols and watch Christmas shows like when we were kids in the Christmas to come around in the Jehovah’s Witnesses who have to go out in the hallway has to use our special
I know that mean they’d raise their hand and and and maybe if the teacher was knew that explain but that you over the years it was like yeah okay yeah get out of here spoilsport go run the Halls yeah we’re going to force people to watch stupid shit go do what you want as Witnesses also in my memory of all of those kids like like four or five of them in my public school credibly friendly like just non-judgmental like it’s weird this double edged sword of like when these religions that, Steve Jobs approach as far as accessibility to their children’s Souls we don’t want any viruses or anything so you know where it will just be Behind These Walls and then we will will will will will kind of curate the American Experience for these folks we’re not going to take part in your general pass pastiche
you can get you get your good results and you get your you get your swarm of of 19 year olds were like on the internet going let’s compare notes about being a Jehovah’s Witness and it starts to get pretty that religions PR Brown from high school the nicest family they throw these great parties and like they’re like puppy look like one of the wealthiest families at our school and the giant parties and my friend Roy was like the coolest dude and got along with everybody and like the family made such a case for being warm and because they were so like awesome they were just like the most generous lovely people ever told you the story about the did the church sign little Billboards put out like little things that they like hey this Sunday or you know Jesus loves you like Packers at in front of the thing
Roy was the nicest straight-A student the most Meek and Mild lovely dude he called like me I think Matt Gourley a few other people and said get up and drive around town and look at these five churches and they had all put up why don’t I forget which denomination it is but they don’t put up the stands as a God cares and lovely meet never heard of fly like straight A student where I went out and changed all of them to dog races
he worships a higher power called workplace
run for 3 hours if you could drive around Whittier California and it was just when he dies he goes to heaven and Gabriel just went over to just like. Tracker you have to spend eternity together like you’re not going to hell but you have to like I hope you have allergies where are these. These are all the dogs these races are going to go on forever yeah we have to race every single one of them by the way they age seven times faster than the person so you’re never getting damn you’re not getting in there I’m going to restart this I got to work.
we can just erase it. Since I got needs to be individually raced but you have to race every dog All Dogs Go to Heaven every one of them
it’s like it’s like Tantalus or sisters that’s what about Cujo do you think he went to heaven she was terrifying we saying
yes it was Jeffrey Dahmer’s phone what what’s the difference between a guy like what it what are we I don’t understand All Dogs Go to Heaven couch I was up and have a look everybody I’m sorry I had a bad run if I kill people probably a mailman I said I’ve never seen the movie but I assume the first two goes our mailman Christian mail man killed by Cujo you go to heaven and you’re like another check in the book and they’re like the mailman’s here it looks like you steamed open a couple of Clearing House Sweepstakes eggs yeah yeah I’m sorry I just wanted to see what they look like on the inside cuz my wife won’t let me open them it’s not like I thought I was going to steal somebody’s winnings that you know you can’t lie
okay we can read your mind I accept that thank you and they’re like her
and he just here like
and you look through the Pearly Gates and fucking cujo’s running around batching a ball for Tom hanks’s Dad when I was just trying to think of someone who’s willing to go if you’re like what is that Cujo and and then again there like in your pointing at the gaping fucking bite wound on your neck right and Gabriel’s like you look all dogs go to heaven I’m sure Cujo
I’m sure Cujo when he went up to the Pearly Gates bit he got his balls busted too I know like who who’s a bad boy
who’s been a bad boy just going to be like fuck you I’ll pee on you cuz all dogs go to heaven I already heard
wake wake you need you need you need to like that’s what I’m saying you either pick a lane heaven
if I go to heaven and I seek a happy Cujo who’s been like who is atone for his akujo sense I’d I’d be this is a good heaven I don’t think All Dogs Go to Heaven I think they picked out as a title for a movie that they want to trick you into watching
I don’t think that’s an official biblical stance I think dogs cannot accept Christ as their savior
if it if it’s hard hard for a rich man to get into heaven through the eye of a needle or whatever it is legally what is it a camel camel can’t get through a needle a camel to get through the eye of a needle faster than a rich man to get into heaven like while the camera was the camel going to happen
so the channel doesn’t get into heaven at all you just know that’s on the table for the NFL
needle I think with the Bible was written that was the biggest animals that can think of but it didn’t know about elephants are there likely to be clever about this cuz I got a camel’s like soham P that that even if you made it a big needle it would still be like
it’s still be an arduous process to get it through it be like if that’s what they did a key and a new keychain for USB into any USB for you I’m guessing right but when you plug in the USB let’s let’s let’s let’s discuss it all with our old friend open mike eagle
hello
Carol Carol Carol
what’s up Mike hey how’s it going I think I think all dogs go to dog heaven is. What cuz they don’t have anything to compare to True having fatigue 7 times faster I never heard of Heaven fatigue before I guess that’s most of us assume it’s like an eternity of anything how many Millennia does it take for you to be like I wish I could die
maybe there’s a reset button and you can just forget who you are and can forget yes you can have coming to Heaven all over again anytime you want that starts to remove all meeting from any of it like it’s a go I’ll just I mean cuz I bet you would do that you would like achieved like I mean I guess it gets Great Eastern cuz it’s basically like you achieve this kind of ultimate Perfection need to go well then let me experience said he go back down and be like a termite or something I don’t go back. I just mean to start heading over right now cuz that would be but it’s just having again I haven’t plus if you could Prestige all the time I don’t like this idea of prestiging in video games like like give me a rocket launcher like life new game plus I had a rocket launcher so they’re like all your experience points from your last year
you can now just like water ski without learning
why don’t ask questions when is the rocket launcher why does your baby have to experience life where babies can have skills it’s going to be scary but I think with genetic engineering that sounds like we’re going to have to contend with kill babies they’re going to be like it’s going to be like the Army Reserves were they the parents will have a right. Go like getting pregnant will cost so much money you don’t like some of this fucking are which by the way on the Dow Jones is now like more than diamonds sure I don’t think diamonds are on the Dow Jones but but Rando into this planet where we’re like fighting over molecules what’s in it for society and you’re going to be like you know Julie is there
YouTube painting and I created community
show the weird weird Jungle of real life and then leave you made it you that’s honest about that way it’ll be like if you you can like basically sell the first twenty years of your unborn kid’s life to various corporations there’s like a fusion of the Israeli Army and like internships and like like so that they got like we’re going to give your kid extra Charisma if they work for Apple for 2 years when they from 15 to 17 and then the army goes like we will make him jump high if he does it with a gun on his head
for two more years than that and you got skills come way before that baby scales were not going to find a birth or there’s just random you don’t get to pick I think that’s the wholesale told you get to pick what skills your baby daddy I don’t think they’re Supernatural skills I think I just said their skills you could already have as an adult but you can baby can have it. I can really see happening in the marketplace tonight
but that’s dystopic write you in as soon as we open up that jar we’re in trouble right through the Jaws kind of open do they make goats like every day they make like new goats and a lab everyday they’re doing that already they finally did some human cloning in China I think recently which is a benchmark I’ve always been watching cuz I always wanted to be the first person to do a human clone like I’m not a scientist or anything I just wanted to like accidentally will do on purpose I always wanted to clone myself and just be like hey I did it guys I’m the Clone guy I’m the guy who cloned human successfully haha you know like an instant clone or would you just be like 60 and there would be like a thirty-year-old Spencer probably that of a petri dish I bet you’re wondering how I got here
and your baby’s going to have the unreliable narrator skill I don’t want to I don’t want to I don’t want to I don’t want to pick baby baby skills I don’t want either but somebody will that’s going to happen no matter what it’s inevitable I’m kind of distracted by the thing that you brought up there like the idea of like being in heaven and then there’s this button and you go this idea of like getting to a point where you’re like I’ve done it all for real like there’s nothing I can experience anymore and then there’s this button that says start it over let me let me be let me be honest here this was inspired I just started watching a good place and I just got through the first season so like that kind of happened in there so I can do like thinking about like oh well what if the god that that made the universe is just like kind of like I mean what’s the difference right
will you going to learn everything right it cuz it’s heaven and it’ll be great like you if you’re going to get fatigued having fatigue you taught me that
so yeah that’s the cure to Heaven fatigue as you push the reset button
yeah so you’re not tired anymore because you forgot you were tired and dog heaven you’re saying that dogs is just dogs right let’s just do if they don’t have anybody who’s going to throw the ball gets thrown the ball just they don’t care with rose a dog to be another giant dog throwing the ball they don’t care God throws the ball they don’t they don’t like us because they think we’re dogs yeah they think of you they think we’re like beers I think they’re bears and they think they’re the lucky dog who the Bears think they were buried too but I think they’re like like like like
but most of them like when they’re sniffing each others butts that’s them going like do they think you’re a very of course they do otherwise they’d be eating us know each other’s butts and it’s just a show that looks the most like living there in a dog’s freaking out it is like they were big hairy or like weird things like butt grow legs and their babies will kill you friend and we’re like always like Blake gobbling salmon out of a stream of bears. It barely started feeding dogs for us we wouldn’t even have dogs bears would have dogs wait wait so yeah
give me if we went inside to I miss the top of that if we if we weren’t around bears would have died if Bears started feeding dogs first started sharing the salmon with a dog so you’re walking your dog who sings You’re a bear that didn’t but that didn’t eat you because he thought that you thought that was a bear to listen to walking to Yosemite National Park in the bear goes bye-bye and like with your dog your what year with your dog and yes I would need a bear comes back and you never did. Never protects the person they’re like shit bear War
there’s only one loser here and I’m headed for them I’m grabbing the marshmallows and the commence world’s longest walk for rain and you see a wolf yeah and what is her name I mean you’re poking holes in my theory right behind my my back wall right now they’re just like right there I still haven’t seen one my dog sitter saw one when we were out of town it’s different streets because they ate their surrounding that they do like two sharks in a Jess are going to have a rumble mobile
some of the coyotes are Puerto Ricans and some are just some kind of music. And and they all said they come down this one road and then they all split up and they all just fan-out like the blue angels are they and then and then in ten minutes later you hear the sound of an animal dying and then you hear a bunch of people screaming and then I open my like window and look out and I assumed it was throwing shit and that these coyotes who were running off with her and you can shut you can track it like this every time
I’d like another dog was traumatized by and never got over it because the dog was giant drugs like you can eat the cat
I said it for 11 years
taking this thing shit
why can’t I eat the care of the dog but I’m helpless I can I give you if you keep saying this happen where this is dog for session and then some animal gets murdered people and I are pick up like a rock and roll it like like like like what is a dog hearing when they hear a coyote but you see the dogs go crazy when they hear the coyotes hurt like crazy but they’re they’re typical technique is they’ll send one stray coyote like they’re a bit one will start doing this thing like
I like the dogs are like my Jeep do you have sample technology in their interaction was like pretty pretty standard Raptor clever girl technique they purposely like I think that’s the thing is that they basically like the big big they do these little trolling and then I any dog that guy takes the bait and kind of like is like a crazy dog over there that I could talk to you about just being disguised as a bear
and then and then they just they just fucking run up and grab that poor little fucker there’s a there’s a there’s a there’s a dementia addled half-blind like French Bulldog that lives up above my wall where I hit I just really coyotes now and I’m like I got a broomstick and I’m like I’m like to get out of here
I meant I’m going to buy like long flannel underwear with a butt flap just to have a cowboy hat with the brim of Runners that attracts them
self-destruct and then you can also you can sell faulty products to the coyotes magnetic boxing glove
I like once every couple years have a standoff with a family of skunks that just decided that they lived this is a charity thing it says you live
Las Vegas on stage as the worst Vegas stage all so I can make a tiger disappear. The whole family like mama papa and the little babies and they’re adorable this so cute and they’ll just be at my front door and I just feel like late at night just got home and I’m looking at has a bunch of snacks just hanging out then they see you and what they don’t do is run off like other animals by squirrels and can do even if you get clothes and try to shoot them that the adults with their tails up in the air which means they’re like you know I haven’t actually hurts to walk around with this shit I give me a reason
it’s burning my tail I think it’s stinks too
look at me sideways
lake lake lake lake infringe upon my ain’t ate my ancient pact with the with the Druids that founded Los Feliz old Pagan C Spire have a chip on my shoulder I have a chip in my butt that I’ve can’t wait to fucking fire at you did you ever see like in the nature documentary drunk in high speed super slow like a skunk spraying it’s so gross it’s a Fred Flintstone Vapor it’s like Grody nasty fucking Peter North gross
we’re pretty fortunate the only one animal got that as a defense mechanism to protect yourself you could be Birds a projectile shit at you
all right moving on I was walking down the road
walking down the road Trucking midday
downtown Los Angeles
can I go get my car everything was groovy and I see I see a flight of little birds like small little Sparrow swallow sized Birds what is coming at me and they’re going to drop into a tree and I see what bird is this but I’m pretty sure this is Mike from the distance that Spencer is for me but about ten feet higher it came down with the rest of birth Brooke fucking ranks
like feathers over that one and fucking pooped like about 5 feet in the air and they went right in my mouth like on 83 and television games in Eagle like a big giant thing but it was away but because of inertia that the poop leaving the bird is going to carry the same as speed the first few feet right
I said that bird knew exactly what was happening either like turds like hamster turds like little bit little before or just glass of white glue it was weird about the supernatural properties of bird poop it’s like it’s it’s black on white stuff in that white on black stuff that doesn’t even make sense, it’s because my avian knowledge is not where it ought to be in like it is preseason the white part of the ladder, except is the urine
Bert’s you’re gross you’re on notice I can make it by 2 if I had hollow bones and I don’t want them I don’t care I can get on a plane I don’t want to do that either
I hate your offending open mike Eagle right now and I have no emotional connection to it at all at all I just I do want to remind everyone that this whole moment was started with you saying I got pooped in the mouth that mistake my enthusiasm for outraged at the bird intentionally the birds are going off to my left and one broke ranks and fired a poop in my mouth or maybe P I don’t know but I all I know is it’s good luck when it does happen when did this happen with Church Easter

she fucked up it was like 2 weeks ago is this the first you’re telling other people of this
is it fair to blame this on the government shutdown
but that wouldn’t happen if if there was they regulate this stuff
is not important what matters is that I got poop in the mouth like Newport Beach California and we all went out the next morning to have it like a Bloody Mary at the cool old Dive Bar in Balboa and we’re hanging out and my brother is friend Bren as a college buddy he’s the most mellow surfer dude he’s back and he’s like Matthew McConaughey’s again man it’s like everything is cool like he’s just one of those guys just super laid-back and he goes out to have a cigarette and comes back in I’ve never seen him look worried or bummed out and he comes back in and just like walking as fast as you can walk without running into the bathroom
Emily comes back in and he sits down next to many pics of his bloody Mary and he’s always
I’m at Brentwood happening because
I’d ever try to say this without laughing
Bert told to do something I did on my bean that’s the way if you’re a surfer guy you said birdshit on my head I can’t say much to do some my bean mate these are made after it
music Shelly can I say one more birthday it was raining a lot here in a week or so and I was right around my kid and my kid goes
I feel bad for the birds fly around a little little open a falcon eagle is closed right now almost open open Kevin Sparrow
book Heaven turns to me and he says he said he says
he felt bad for the bars and I was like okay
you’re driving like you did but then he asked me why I had no answer say okay should we be concerned it should be sanctuaries well if they weren’t okay wouldn’t have no reason did David Attenborough the life of birds sing like it’s like the like planet Earth kind of stuff it’s called the life of birds and I think there’s like six or eight episodes it’s so good it just is British dating tips talking bird
what is the feathers are like like like Klingon cloaking device for water like I just acknowledge e but I couldn’t back it up almost never see a dead bird in the ground like you may be a few times in your life you’ll see there’s a dead bird it is weird the reason why you don’t is because there is really eaten by other things and because they’re so light because the bones are Hollow and are made of feathers they blow away recently
also also that feather killed Archduke Ferdinand started World War 1 someone was like feather why did you do that think different then we should use that and that chocolate boxes made out of the lunar lander how how old is Kevin Barrow he just turned ten that’s a that’s what I mean that is that’s got to be amazing I don’t want anything else that’s going to go to the medic tomorrow then you’re 2 years from him up on you right now it’s going to happen for sure he’s in any in any way he can he tries to dominate me now he just can’t cuz he’s 10
and but then they love to just like talk about list some shit they did then like the credit cards is your son is just on a Skil baby I don’t think so
I think we taught him everything he knows he’s pretty cool we are pretty sure that was a measured response yeah cuz I think it’s complicated to the zoo the other day like
hello alright I guess what I’m asking is do you do you like him as a person like he is 10 though so he could be a pain in the ass oh my God yes but I’m cute ways most of the time but is it you guys are getting tingly yeah he is he is he he’s the tall skinny version of his toddler self which is weird but he’s not quite like a teenager yet you need a long small child I see pictures of myself around that age of design two adorable eyes who played the day-to-day transition where the gangly. We’re like what you just pick a lane you know what I noticed about him too
no cuz he’s constantly growing we’re having to buy shoes and shit all the TV girls out of his pants always get short he’s wearing the same shirt he was wearing when he was five I swear to God it’s like his legs get long would it take me to be same size maybe maybe that’s all I was skiing all the time is walking around like skinny and short blue like big ass feet documentary about puberty is David Attenborough Lake think it was it was really cool and I can’t remember what it’s called I like years ago but it was like it was like they kind of like take you through like a boy and a girl both
going through these changes at like they’ve there but it’s it’s it starts with a live next door to each other in this little town and then like they’re going to go to school together and then it’s like they take a walk you through puberty and they’re including like like the fact that the boy is brain chemistry is starting to change and so like thoughts of like like like like like he starts like scuffling with other boys outside of talking about like all of this like like weird biochemical shit what are the things that they said was both of them and I was they’re going to bed at night like it’s like it at all when when shifts checks in literally overnight these changes are happening and I think they said like if you were able to somehow without being a villain may be at the Eli Roth movies in on like the leg bones of a kid at that age you could see with the naked eye the like gross
it’s how fast like like like bones are lengthening and shit like they wake up in there like a quarter inch taller I wonder if you could hear it does it sound like a tree I’m going to write a book about you
did you send me no matter what does your son like listen to your music you play music with him but he used to like my music he’s a he’s a hippie to the hip hip know he we we program him with all this independent all trapshit and then he liked her Drake for the first time and now he wants we lost we lost him for a while this is his Rebellion he likes it he likes to hear the hi-hats Larry that’s that’s what he’s into you know rattle off a Rhapsody Rhapsody. You wrap some self to sleep every night only freestyles he will not ride around or Roche it was pretty good he used to like not use words so that was bad like you would just bring it down
Fitzgerald had a career I had it is true but the choices he wasn’t making choices that reminds me to he loves to make fun of 80s rap just like that, yeah you’re right that’s it that’s a little fast I was a little fun with you so now he has Fine taste where he knows what to hate on you like produced
Prescott Papa’s talk to you later what do we think Martin Luther King jr. would think he would have been a hip hop fan would have been like a crotchety what do you have been like I have a dream that you’re turning that down play Ella Fitzgerald he would have probably because it’s like I mean it because it’s like oh you should be his definition of like Championship was like you’re going to a school that has music classes and you’re playing an instrument like you’re you’re you’re Conquering the system that his idea of rebellious music will be like blues music with curse words do you know what I mean like right like rap would be just straight-up seen his life like up and Harmon that the jazz clubs and stuff like that that that’s for like like the drain
yeah yeah yeah I mean he thought he was like oh just keep moving forward keep moving forward and he didn’t know like yeah God I mean he would have wept and he knows like the Harlem Renaissance of like the the counter targeting and what it resulted in like I think if you explained it all to him then he would be a hip hop fan cuz it be like wall when you put it that way because it’s basically like oh you can’t have an hour ago I think I just have to try to keep I think it’d be really bummed out that there was like this it was like oh shit there was a counter punch was wasn’t there there was a huge I mean
PM is like like right when I was a kid and I was I was not conscious of it but then then in the two thousands like then we’re learning about it like I think it was really in the seventies I think if you look at cointelpro specifically which was like an official FBI program it was like sent to destroy the black uprisings basically a lot of it was with crack cocaine and with heroin and just stuff that was funneled into communities because they knew that it would like to join people and if nothing else if you can just if you can attach a drug to a population then there’s always a reason to throw him in jail whenever you see him also yeah then you turn around and make the laws that are more specifically putative towards the things you’ve introduced into the community it’s it’s a it’s a lot and any creative generation gap and a lot of that is is part of why the router parts of rap music or like they are cuz like this is a generation of people who lost parents yeah like don’t like when you see a crackhead
somebody’s mom the next one around because crack was more important to yeah when I was in high school is like all the all the white guys were in the locker room we’re like we’re reciting the Eazy-E lyrics it was like this thing was happening slip double irony of 00 hip hop is gone. I’m now at now white people love it so now it’s worth money so now it’s like just fucking what’s all the tonight
Mike when it when you’re writing your music is like your stuff is like Poetic and funny and you know that you just keep like from what I’ve heard like this just like you just keep moving and talking are you talking to yourself are you talking to an audience like like hoot hoot when you’re writing and stuff are you writing just to get stuff out or you are you trying to like like like are you trying to tell a story to somebody else are you just talking about the stuff in your head I think I think I’m I am trying to
entertain but like I’m I’m starting with trying to entertain myself so I think I’m filtering what I want to say through two other people buy what amuses me mostly and I think that’s that’s kind of like the emo rap saying like we probably talk about the last time may be another blackout drunk but like to me it’s like from what I hear I’m like oh that’s kind of cool at least like like the Like Rappers look like grinding their jobs and going like
set a tight like the more they like big.
I don’t know I was good just like it that feels like not that feels like not like I feel like one either Asian less healthy maybe even being like here’s how it is and I’m resigned to like life I don’t know it’s like I statements and like exploring depression the seems like like a cooler sing than being like almost like tricked into celebrating criminalization as of like exploring addiction and end codependence and loneliness and alienation is like oh we’re starting to meet in the middle here because White America is now LOL
he ate it out and like like the nest and we can all just be like your music is a huge business so it was something it might be might have genuine worth for us psychologically or emotionally is quickly co-opted and I land and figured I’d like marketed in a way that it becomes dangerous so like you don’t necessarily just get the benefit but I think that you know like selling art basically you just have to contend with those sorts of things
when you when you’re when you’re writing a like a writing question like when you’re making stuff are you do you just sit down pen and paper and write or type or are you just kind of free telling your head and say oh that’s good I’m going to I’m going to put that alright alright alright I’ll rewrite all of that I hate it but I do it because I’m lazy you can’t keep up with your kid to this true if you if you could use a panties and if I can swallow you up that’s true he does we produce some stuff I like that way cuz we will you and you know it started with a star Burns audio wanted to put out like a the tape of like just the
the the wrapping the rapping from the podcast like just the wrong record just the clips what you can here for free if you just listen to the podcast and stuff in the audio is whatever it is and I think it was it was me he’s going like well can we eat if you’re going to like sell it to people can we do like a b side where we bother to take the wraps and like re-record them and then we had to have this whole conversation where we like is our job to make them good because then you’d change everything or is it like what it’s like we’re restoring a painting from the Renaissance but it ain’t from the Renaissance a horrible show and in Denver but it’s sort of like we we we we we recorded a bunch of stuff yeah it’s a lot of you
what we decided to do was a kind of repeat your process from here like you just wrap it right what you do we don’t need to sit and try to craft a bunch of perfect rap songs like the essential Dan Harmon rap experiences him to his fucking wrapping right you guys are we heard it today
I’m so here we got a bunch of songs that we made you would rapping rapping rapping rap and and we would kind of crafty songs based off of what you doing
like one of my like Simon or a from starboard kind of went through initially like pulled out all of the all of the times that goes like rapping like they’re the ones that stick out or like apologies to Denver that’s a good one what is a what’s the one that’s funky horn monkey funky horn I really like the song dedicated to Marc Maron that’s that’s probably why do you know that when I came out here I think those were the funk
funky Horn of a funky horns do you are onstage during the show this is the Studio C this is a world premiere of the world premiere oh yeah but holds the clenched tight enough okay they’re not I can see right this is high-stakes shit that this is like there’s going to be beefs and feuds we’re going to get to that then be some foods there is the man put all this shit together he’s a genius on the couch in the genius on the leather now I’m going to use my privilege to wrap I’m going to waste your time and wrap just like that I’m going to be fat 44 years old and I’m going to
I have to do a microphone cord that if I can wait two times with the fucking big fat I can just talk into a microphone because he can pay himself to do whatever the fuck you want creative curriculum
I’m at ten million dollars are season didn’t earn it because of my crap is gold I don’t do what I’m told I get fired from a job but it doesn’t make me less but I came I saw I fucked Vini vidi vici your mom’s at Shucks what’s your mama with my understanding I thought your mom would like it was not Landing funky horns is the name of the track of doing it provides rap well I’m a big fat blowhard with lots of privilege about your mama so hard there was some privilege of her vulva but it was from pleasure I assure you he wasn’t going out it hurts I was abused you were saying my pussy got adequately use
I got inside the Jets I plumbed it inside and out she needed a rest and she was having a tremendous amount of satisfaction with my actions if you don’t like what you going to do you get back my mama I fucked that up my mom is dead why you bring her up
insensitive prick my mom’s fucking dead breast cancer number one killer of women piece of shit light a candle Dan Harmon everybody
but that drilling open mike Eagle as as hip-hop producer because I did I did a bunch of shit you were like sure you were like a genius about it cuz like it brought you in it wasn’t a job that you were like I have an idea we’re like What if we tried to do this how would you do it and you’re you approached it like oh well if you’re making a statue like get the slab of marble in there I think kind of and you just did this bear amount of like like like like like chiseling it’s that like doesn’t make me a good rapper it’s not like edited to the point of anyting I think you made some
a lot of people don’t have any business rapping make albums but you actually wrap all the time and so like you have this like relationship to the Kraft wrapping is really uniquely interesting and I think that liking everything that we did we can kind of just still like oh this is the this is the painting you were painting and we kind of like this you know if this is to join like like like talking about like what what you got drunk in Maryland and you did this rap but it like turned into like apologies to Denver like I think is interesting because it was it’s just a re-creation of a rap that happened in Denver and it was like all we’re doing is kind of reproducing it
word for word right like it wasn’t like we did more with it we just reduced it but in the moment it was just odd thing as it almost kind of like a weird like more artistic than anything I would do if you if you let me think about it for any amount of time I got drunk and started doing this crap in Denver and it just kept saying you don’t look like you’re like oh it’s about the apology like you keep saying he’s sorry I keep this season Stephen a cute but I’m also like somebody’s mom I like it was Knots Landing that was a show I mean if your if you know Dan Harmon rap Aquino that he likes to spend a lot of time with your mom
but what else you got it give us a give us another track I mean you put your favorites okay I put you on the spot but I was prepared so that’s that’s not a problem for me at all I am really into this Marc Maron is he’s got a diss song to Marc Maron when we came back from the tour and we’re at the Egyptian and Marc Maron was at the show and as he was coming up to the stage I did like a Marc Maron rap kind of used to that I don’t know about any real beef is all Studio
or a departure from Spotify to podcast fifa2019
Armand got beef with Marc Maron
Marc Maron Maron
Marc Maron when you interview, DP
take me to like me
Blackberry why you staring at me is your mama Sharon Stone I gave her soup bone and I finance a house with the loan is the bottom of the market she got robbed. Does that make your weenies Rob probably not unless you’re in such as you wish
Marc Maron that probably crossed the line but I don’t care because this is Pete
but it was still consensual
Marc Maron what is your mama rocking chair
whatever Marc Maron Marc Maron Marc Maron why you staring at me is your mama rocking chair
is there a wine pairing for red wine go with this fish should I put your mama’s titties on a separate dish from each other my brother was got to be my brother we got an errand I want be
you out we
Dean Martin and Harmon got beef with Marc Maron
with Marc Maron
marriage
Cameron Boyce Sharon Marc Maron free wayfaring Mike marriage
Marc Maron Dragon Larenz nerd Marc Maron
remember Karen from
ancient Greek mythology stick is the way to spell Mark not where’s the chain bitch Dan Harmon got me with Marc Maron speak with Martin calling you out Dan Harmon got the beat with Marc Maron Dan Harmon got beat with Marc Maron at Obama on a show so what number are you on iTunes who knows that use an algorithm and everyone’s new podcast is number one for a week try to encourage people to be excited about free labor
Amanda took a dig at capitalism and if it’s dangerous
inspired in Buckhead spine
I think it’s time for some like some freestyling like we did it but I just wanted to mention the session that we did wear cuz I kept talking I want to do more of these like emo things and you’re and you’re like black man are you just trying to yank of Vicki like seeing or do you want to like do it is that there and I was like what now I will do it if it gets so high and like I got really higher than so high I remember is you and the other side of the glass and I was like that is a giant and Ender Murray you pressing the button guide Dean what do you what do you want I want black people to like me
why
I don’t know
I’ll hopefully with auto-tune this will be good I don’t know
airport didn’t make the cut just know that the song is tired I think I have all of them and then come to replenish the well
you probably noticed that since your appearance on the show I didn’t exactly like get better like I had a Britain they lose like it was like it was like a gymnast coach coming out and I know you going to do this and that it was like then I disappeared so you can’t you went back to your old habits
I’m going to play one of my you haven’t heard this one yet it’s called Smooth Jazz I really like the smell of a fucking love this shift so much
it’s all the harmontown tracks that I would like to know if this was when I think this may have been just a straight Studio original I would guess the song over that okay this is the best okay here we go
it’s not about fussing
stop getting to know each other
talking to Mom doesn’t have to go fast it can be real smooth like jazz
no tonight it’s not about that. Getting to know you what’s your name what do you mean I should already know your name okay
your opinion
all right no I don’t have to know that
I’ll check back with you later
damn girl you got a lot of hats
were you in the theater in high school
damn what do you pay for rent here goddamn
are these real hardwood floors
what do I mean real hardwood floors want to take it easy smooth jazz nothing creepy it’s a pretty nice place
where’s your roommate
at school can I grab one of these lecroy’s
Jennifer grabs
object all you got is coconut nobody likes them curl up in front of the window she really get a fireplace
nobody curls up in front of a window may be a cat actually colder here less cozy just get them get it at least has the space heater God damn bitch get a job but I’m not going to go over there
sweet vermouth gin Campari slice of orange but I don’t have that it’s a good day x rank the ended up doing cocaine by the end of the day
where’s the bathroom thank you
step step step fully door sound closed in her medicine cabinet antipsychotic
blue
I don’t care everybody crazy crazy for you what the fuck did I want the same person to come home with me in the first night
if China is fine with me
and I don’t hold it to a standard
that encourages vaginoplasty
girl I don’t care if your pussy looks like

gnarled scrambled eggs looks like chewing gum so what because I’m not here to stay but you should look like this look at me I look like fucking Jim Belushi I wish
look like a bag of dead fish I’m a big fat hairy gross piece of shit covered in pimples and zits and there is a difference and you don’t want to know what it is
that’s what I look like naked so girl you don’t need to fake it for me but you’re my anyway
wow
this is me realizing I should have let you hear that
that was a real toboggan ride in this at the house this is my favorite one for 10%
do you have the the technology to make a new one right now can we can we got beats so we can we can wrap I think we have to clearly
I got the fire this may be the most fired up I’ve ever seen you
I’m ready to cross the River Styx on a boat made of dicks
the user are in luck
play some sexy happen over here
what am I doing this is Minecraft T-shirt power
what is my friend so yeah
less
purple
I need your
okay I’m not going to fuck any Mama’s yeah right
have an objective or okay
objectives are good
what do we want to do want to solve racism we said earlier
then why you have me here today is it
my crib and is coming off your face shit
Band-Aid on your face yes here with open mike going to solve race is a race and needs to be solved racism also needs to be stopped if you saw Trace you solve racism if you just mix everyone’s jism there won’t be race so we can’t be racist but you can’t have a band without a bassist you can’t have grapes without raisins you can’t have cranberry without Craisins and then races like two separate people by the colors of their faces they be mad if one person had straight to it than there was another person wearing braces they be like this is not amazing because I hate this cuz I might I say things that are hateful every hateful person wants to be better everybody wishes they were born in a sweater that then they would never be cold they wouldn’t
pants every racist as a hypocritical dance dance and a stance that they wear but I’m happy because I also like Cancer sweaters yes that’s what I was born in if I what did wear a sweater I’d be like transforming into something warm then it goes bad would feel left alone like a fucking orphan if I didn’t have more skin but that’s like a penis with the foreign scared or something with a decision but everything else comes from derision I don’t know what that means but when you let your mind go you start to wrap jelly beans send in little kids start to scream because circumcision is the terrible scene but that’s just our parents decision usually informed by some judeo Christian religion
so instead he wins the race you got to you got to take it slow you don’t have to be the top of the Heap right you know that you don’t have to be there like it’s me against you that it could be us together and we can be too right not white right doesn’t make white and white doesn’t make Mike and Mike might just be shit and the English comment shine
If I Ruled the World hahaha hahaha ladies I don’t fuk with you maybe yeah I told Joe had rabies foam at the mouth said he didn’t have Levi he had a dog penis job lipstick in a sheet of paper that was like a wolf or a dog pretending to be a bear to a female dog he was deceiving her shit and then it will be a blur In My Memory I’m cold this December be intricately I wrap it
arrived all the time Rallis Brown it’s never over cook the Overlook. I forgot the fucking symptoms or the direction that we were going in so I’m flowing like oceans there that’s wet on the ground and it down like this dude to do the full box of nails took your cuticles to take the medicine that shit is chill with them throat for commission split just like the sessions of his prey stash it is never written yet it’s like them to Skype with drippings but that’s in Stevie Wonder but that’s the one song and I can come strong I never been saying Dragon punch just like I’m staying long the penguin in the rain long update my chest like can’t call Big and then go back and forth with mice like it was paying for August 7th 1 p.m. long
no Mama’s got fucked in that sun
Mama Vero Mama’s holy fucking shit
damn it all right go with the flow Gus fucking Incredible strength of a fucking mother’s that’s the most I heard him preach. A lot a lot of mom’s got fucked like this whole project has to be about him being somebody stepfather because that way
talking to you about how he’s fucking your mother makes sense
great Friday and I mean it’s literally Friday in his I guess
I would like to hear just like a very you know like just a Spencer freestyle look at this doesn’t have to be like that. So yeah yeah sounds awesome you know it
like picking a beat now
reading Eggs in the morning in the morning scrambled or fried eggs in the mornings people in line behind you God damn it
just stomach that people are coming from a check and they taste delicious licking my name is MC chicken I got a beach and I’ve never liked it cuz I don’t have a tongue and even if I did I don’t think I’d know what I did in an auction and I’m owned by the farming industry so my poop is part of my pee because a chicken butt is also a penis don’t have a penis cuz I’m a hen
sorry to get heteronormative
none
I’m neither rooster Noir hand and I’m going to tell it to you like I told you again I don’t throw in the morning and I don’t lay eggs and I make my own decision and I walk on my own legs I am Thomas I am neither of anything I do what I do and I have a song to sing but now I’m a butcher and I want to sell chicken wings and all that means there’s things that we have to do with it before I wasn’t mentioning that means that there are things that are brought about your my chicken of growing you would have time for The Slaughterhouse so here we go and I’m sorry to be a punk and to take a dump on your dreams but there is this stump over there and that’s how I have to do I’ve LED you to this spot here to grab this night for them behead you cuz I have to sell these people shit that they’re loving and turn your entire body until like 9:00 nugget to message all we have and you had dream stuff but now your body and flesh to turn it in the pink stuff that I’m going to deep fry because they seem wise is going to sell you with the big buck
a box of these fries and you like those too because that’s what her because farming is gross but that’s how we make it sound the most worst yo chicken response
you’re not
set your time to find the things that make me surprise but that’s my impression of you. My name is non-binary chicken I didn’t even I didn’t even need your opinion I already know you owe me and you’re going to kill me I’m trying to explain what happens to fulfill me before the sun comes up on the end of my life you’re telling me about particulars that have to do with your knife I know you have needs you have labels and you have things but I’m just telling you what makes me sing out and I’m going to tell you about these wings okay. Make cuz you’re delicious and and that’s how it goes you have to follow me here because you are the key to my personal economy I’m sorry it’s pretty weird I don’t want to have to beg but I need your meat and your body and your eggs
you push me so far
your dog coming in
take me to my parents.
meat chicken thighs coming in for a surprise if you want
I’m at breakfast just neighbor would you guys keep it down I’m trying to I work in the morning
I was fine now it’s gone
check that poultry farming industry and there was a transphobic work done doing have you left in this is a militant nobody is not a fucking idiot okay baby if the feeling that you don’t have to like block like everything down to like a b a b like it like these things you can just let a rhyme happen over time liquor store at the sentence that you have the freedom to and now Dan’s got the freedom to you can find it
God himself couldn’t stop you from being a better freestyle on this next one called
I’m not ready clear you had don’t think so don’t throw mama
I want to know
what are you doing sweet come get a candy a little treat I don’t like where this rap is going
I have a lollipop lollipop lollipop have a literal lollipop I don’t want a metaphorical lollipop speed internet has created a situation where where all the CC ated with nightmares about predation we don’t want my land to a sterical nation every time you think of sweets and kids you think of predators wearing bibs with little pictures of you little boys in you
I got a lot of anxiety I’m the only sugar shop in this whole damn City. You just take a free lollipop I’m getting accused of things by a car so you can also have some nerds so you can also have a licorice
the doors locked from inside with a button that I press on the underside of my Matt Lauer counter and I won’t can’t let you leave until you pay your bill and that’s just standard sorry but you got to make sure you pay I’ll take a credit card a cash it’s the usual way and just
I gave them to you but exchanging of goods and services behoove you
I jammed your cell signal with my secret cell signal with my puter computer
and you’re going to have what you’re going to do
yeah
no heroes in that story
I mean I thought I was a guy I didn’t hear the guy in the beginning he wanted out
do you want it out of the narrative but then he got killed by witches on the forest come to dunsinane TVs like
I’m really saying that the whole night is so catchy
music is a little boy knows this one suck a dick
I want a lollipop
everyone’s a winner and that story tonight for Chandler winner
let’s make up for that
what’s the opposite of what is the opposite of that that was a hit
Home Depot
I want if I called people. They’ll let that China specials
you need to check out this dick
close just more split coming to your house to watch the stories
Dylan and that will curl up under the quilt you made people people I’m stroking his eyes open your eyes, you can’t see me you got back home are you going to be on top of me the best in bed you can’t tell if they’re about to be dead because you fucking over it and you don’t know because sometimes their food and sometimes they go they have to pee all the time
yeah I watch TV
tell baby I want to I want to kiss him your head your shoulder to your shoes I want to fuck you from behind while you’re watching Fox News I want to I want to get up all night shift I want to I don’t even know where I’m going to find your tits it might be, but you need to find you a crack in everything is a crack when you got somebody wrinkles
the depression While I suck on your balls out of balls of yarn and pork why you’re coming down to me I want to ask you where were you going down at World War II where you going down in the French Rebellion I love you but that’s okay I’m cool with you look I’m going to fuck you from the floor to the rafter. I just going to give you a hand bath after
call people OK Google I become you more everyday everyday everyday closer to you and everyone.
Yo girl I like it with Dan dead don’t talk to me unless you got grandkids yeah about to nut busting nuts but a lot of them blank about to turn the crank on your oxygen tank and I’m not too so low they tell me when it’s time to mow the grass like I fucking balls are getting sweetie and low know you can I control them over my shoulder and make a time like I look like my nutsack Tire show me more plates that you ordered from the internet
show me more plates that we can eat off of
Davy Crockett
jeronta file to file it something I said you love hold of attracted to the elderly do we therefore it do we worship them as gods and in a world where we all agree you know where we’re like wow pedophiles are that’s the that’s the worst thing you could be like to be there for then are these Toronto file was more of a standard deviation kind of thing I think if you’re on either extreme it’s probably frowned upon
I think it’s like you know how it’s like vultures were it’s like but I mean it’s got to happen right like they’re doing a surface
I’m not going to do it it looks horrible
they make a living off of it though they are paid vultures they stick they loved it they can’t get enough they Circle their friends come
my friend’s Got a Hold yours bolters House of vultures vultures solve a lot of crimes and missing bodies because the police are over there that’s probably where the body is right
but I thought that was in reference to something like 80s vulture detective cartoon that I forgot about I was trying to remember it right now we wish I can cope with the bald spot and like in even deaths like I can’t wait I can wait I love waiting as what I love playing Minecraft and waiting to die but I my aunt are you really so does your kids that’s why I can’t play Minecraft for like one year and my back’s you tell him to get those who tried to do much I’ve had it on Xbox where you couldn’t do to my address
he was seven at the time so he was a jump I will be hard on a PC a real whip ass Dell Inspiron okay
and then you loaded up with a hundred and eighty mod packs and so you can make like computers and systems and it’s just give me chaos and let me turn it in to order and then die like a cyber Christ is put everything in order as slowly like create the system are you just playing Minecraft Minecraft Monday
but you won’t you you know me just 4 hours you want to watch well I’ll bring my laptop next week maybe Matt Lori bookham
what’s at Steve’s back there
well if you’re available next week I’ll I’ll play Minecraft you can watch to tell you cry Uncle okay I don’t want you to do it in front of the people if you don’t want to like I’ll show you my current base like I have an elevator it’s kind of quick but I want to see it yeah we could we can decorate my make I make bases that are hidden from nobody is it yet there’s no one’s there’s literally nobody in the universe but me but I still bother to disguise my basis for no reason I fly up to it and then a Mountainside turns into a doorway and then you go into it and it’s still a few didn’t know they have to walk up to the wall and they’re fucking like I spent days making a piston powered like singing
and it and it popped out there’s a button and you press it in the elevator goes down it’s so satisfying Batman
if I could just go down to the Center of the Earth and there would be like three giant things with lasers going into nothingness and spewing out into a like an electrical Matrix like tons of ore that I that wasn’t coming from anywhere that was being hurt but I was my job to categorize it and funnel it into systems that allowed my base to slowly expand
I just did before I came here today I made a room that makes concrete and I’m like that’s the day that you make a room that makes concrete I’ve a concrete Factory to this is amazing so exhausted and gravel come out of this thing and then I took a limit of this thing and it is I make concrete powder and then it goes into this like fluid transposer and it makes the concrete now I have concrete get what I don’t even like Minecraft but I’ve been so turned on in my life
I looked I saw saying it was like what is that that God there’s like a guru guy whose like has like a to-do Guru or something we have a system that’s like get things done or something like that it sent it there’s like a Larry the Cable Guy but I thought I saw I was thinking that’s me playing Minecraft it was like a stingray’s like he sells this kind of principle or he’s like you take chaos and you you go see this process where are you you just take everything it’s all about actually license in yourself to live life unless you’re like me where you but but but like if you felt like you could walk around in anything that happened to you was therefore valuable like I think that’s what hoarders are thinking where they’re like they’re actually like when I watch hoarders I’m like I’m so close to like
see that because it’s like it just like imagine where you were so free that every piece of garbage you saw was valuable and then you’d be like let me grab that and then like I’ll save it for later but there’s like a kink in the system where they’re not able to just put it into a thing where there could be boxes within boxes and you could just like go like oh this is my whole life every every moment that I’m experiencing I’m in charge of it so that anyone that comes up to and goes like can I have a dollar you’re like I don’t know can you instead of like who I’m going to go back to my laptop
sorry I hit a back so I don’t know what you think about that my hand down on my iPad and it made it an amazing thing happened so he like throws these weird they’re probably unconscious but it’s like he is there a space between delivery but not jealous just put my hand down on the thing again
open my Google
wide open Open Mic open Mike is the guest I like he comes on with all his equipment written and everybody your gaping at the MoMA open mic to the t-virus here, tell her dad how many years mayor open mic on a bike open mic when I like Open Mic psych I got drunk open mike talked about birds and skunks open Mike it’s time to go open mic old people
take out for Kevin drive fast to take chances we love you
what is that

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