Episode 342: Musk Balloons

Episode

Episode 342: Musk Balloons

Description

Duncan Trussell is back! sporting an increasingly majestic beard. The show dives deep into America’s hot button topics like prolapses, space travel and DNA filled balloons.  Featuring Dan Harmon, Jeff Bryan Davis, Spencer Crittenden and Duncan Trussell.

Transcript

confines of the prisoner Crittenden
and just for good measure the mayor of harmontown Jenn Herman
Nerf regulator is on the wall and there’s no bathroom stall that isn’t filled with
the bathrooms are the grossest it doesn’t matter how many stars your hotel has in San Diego that week every bathroom is the Tijuana no offense to do you want to but upfront the Tijuana I’ve been there I mean I think even the mayor of Tijuana would be like you have a point about our bathroom there not a place for surgery to take place I think if you wash your hands
during Comic-Con they get dirtier than if you just don’t wash them
anyways thank you for that I like that beat nose like a very old western felt like I was on a prairie
but don’t let my my my Forest anxiety-driven Rhymes cast the power on what was really probably one of the most delightful, Khan’s ever which is saying a lot cuz I always have a good time there did you have a good time at Comic-Con oh boy you love crowds and adulation and packed this year I felt like the dawn Thursday was just packed as Friday and on Friday I thought it was just packed is it was on Saturday of the prior year and I didn’t go on Saturday cuz I was terrified
can’t you just think this year I kind of feel like I’m in some kind of limbo where Mike this is a thing to not be taken for granted getting on a golf cart and Bailey don’t like doing this thing or take your it’s a thing that you keep doing you never say no to it you go there you you definitely like it’s a religious experience for you you go there and it’s like mecca for all these people and you’re a part of that you’re a little baby like Priester Cardinal dare I say within the next like Vatican of is it probably bad metaphors to drop out of turbulent times but like like this this year I was kind of like
I was so afraid to either take it for granted or overindulgent like I’m sick of my own face and voice so I’m like I’m not I don’t want to be a rockstar nor do I want to pretend like I don’t love this experience that ended up in like this totally then I was like this is what it is this is what you do can you get to the lobby by 11 a.m. 6 a.m. going to be here talk to this person is that is that and then you and then I like what I didn’t do is go to the Entertainment Weekly party I didn’t I didn’t do these things that I that that that aren’t in the moment because trying to get into the Entertainment Weekly party is like the last that’s the only that that that they do that at the Entertainment Weekly party is a is a pagan ritual at Comic-Con that is specifically designed to remind everyone that they are are they are technically nerds and that that still means being an empowered and gross you can show up for the energy
we could party at 7 p.m. with 40 tickets and 20 wristbands and a signed affidavit from Steven Spielberg saying I approve of these invitations that you sent to this person you you could be you could represent 50% of the guestlist and they would still be like well I don’t know it’s kind of a hot steam can you wait over there for a second and you’re just like come on let me talk to Adam Savage and get out of here I’m tired anyways but I didn’t go I didn’t go and I didn’t really see any of our famous friends I didn’t even see you yeah I know you’re most I mean why would see you
I just see you over in the corner of something in the boat that’s basically one of the only place we saw each other anything on that boat and it’s all because given my age range my trajectory I wouldn’t be surprised to find out this was the year when if you could measure it like the most of my personal friends and acquaintances and things that I care about were there and yet I didn’t really I just got a floating around like a like a do the same boat that we were like Old Skool yacht even better Jeff even better oh yeah this one had water jet pack people hate Justin found out he can’t do fireworks the city or Harbormaster whatever of San Diego fireworks
just just Justin Roiland co-creator Rick and Morty he gets a yacht with his buddies every every year it’s become a tradition and he wanted to do fireworks on it and they said no you can’t do that but what you can do
I don’t know if they provide this this this alternative Adorn themselves in Christmas lights and hover over the ocean
I’m fire hose jet packs
and I I spent most of the night talking to the star of Farscape about whether or not those guys had other jobs
and that was the most fun I was just saying I took an extra 10 mg adderal I was shit-faced I feel bad for the star of Farscape I never met him I I I really him in the onion Knight I just I’ll never see them again that man if I can let Liam Cunningham have it don’t be the last Game of Thrones guy at the Justin Roiland yacht party with Dan Harmon on it and you’re going to get all of that I don’t know exactly like I was scattered the last I was like oh I can do chat with Ramsay Bolton I was just just the onion Knight I was just like you I got no fingers
I lost my fingers
last time I was there there was that boat and then I turned the corner and there was Sam let the of the other the chubby one o ya reading guy talks to my ex
okay let’s let’s let’s talk a little bit more
anyway I got to get out of here
no don’t go on that boat party he was talking to my then girlfriend and we broke up at a point but then like his birthday roller added like she commissioned the picture for him for his birthday I’m like I guess he’s still talking that’s cool. You know he won the Game of Thrones go wait a minute is Eva cause ol thing about all that. I hope so that would be awesome she met him at a boat then we broke up then she drew a painting of them and then it is yep. I would like to work
do three things did happen in that order
and then we worked in the show you was like dude I’m know I’m no bran the broken but I really am the metaphor for the author and the puppet master of everything and nothing bad will ever happen to man I’ll just I just I’m going to get all the the West Westeros puss
and she was pregnant to know know know I was pregnant
well it wasn’t where I got folks on the boat to go no Escape folks lin-manuel Miranda was there my good friend know we were back-to-back for an uncomfortable amount of time
I said every time I when I left that party I identified several errors that I made and that was one of them oh boy there’s about six or seven crucial errors that I made and Lord knows what the fuck you would fit in my like if I did not make those errors collectively although I want to say I had no fucking part of this I don’t know if he how much he did but like somehow we after the boat closed we accidentally spread the idea that there was a party happening at the Hilton and when the reality was the only thing happening at the Hilton was us going to bed and we accidentally wee-wee horribly Piper like a bunch of people that probably lived yeah all the other Hotel
you’re going to be mad walking back but you’ll be mad Washington Hilton ya know they were they were mad Nick Rutherford a new Rick and Morty writer you get at one point he got one of those scooters and that was kind of pp tried to make things better by he was doing he was buzzing us as a with Millennial quotes like he was just it was he kept wiping my ass and then saying it was good geckos you could like Wiz by has come up with 1 and then think about it and do it come back on and it was perfect it was like a great bit I was really excited
yeah I made some new friends and I talked to a lot of fans and I I was like I was really I felt I felt more like mirroring more in the moment if you encountered me and San Diego I don’t know if you had more of a powerful thing than they’ve been in a day when I was less in the moment and worried that you were going to hurt me or something but I felt like I had more intimate conversations with the with the people I talk to and there are a lot of people for instance that you don’t like not a lot of people but the proper like fraction of people going like mentioning my workout on the Instagram and how they’ve been watching it and and and and and routing for it or whatever the whatever you want to say about that people saying I hate going to do another Whiting wands and I have four more people at will do it in a fourth person to ask but it was Jessica down so I ran into her and I was like
avoiding lines when should you like why don’t we just do one-offs like like a little what’s the what’s the harm in getting together and doing like an episode haven’t you why did all the Wongs oh well that’s the thing is that’s why I wanted in circles and there’s a point where it’s actually distracting enough wands have I think yeah yeah yeah well for you I think that Mike’s a bit low operate your microphone stand
with one hand
now that that’s a microphone
how’s that feel for you
why is it the first time in like 8 years that this has been important
you’re almost there
try her out take her for a spin
kick the tires hello it’s so funny now
having so many fights back to the first day I combed my hair in 7th grade I was thinking the same thing you are all their your applause was hurtful than it is it is it is down
look who’s showered we told you you’d love it you
tingling in the vodka
my ice bucket all right what let’s bring out our guest very old friend of the podcast haven’t haven’t been talking to him enough lately needs no introduction really sounds so good right now man
I think your hair’s been combed your shoes are tied
your back was to love bro
for eight years. Just this today today it was too loud
and I mean I just yeah. You look great
all right well please welcome our friend’s cousin Statesman brother Duncan Trussell
oh yeah
Jack and Ropo
hello I know the music sounded like your job was now to throw a knife at a woman and miss
used to that area like that please welcome the the enigmatic Professor blade don’t do no no no
that’s what I’m about to practice me look to you like murder
buckets Magic
I follow you into the light and kill you again I don’t think there’s a more unimpressive way to describe that trick than missing someone with a nice make it I mean I love it it’s amazing it’s like William Tell is just like some ass so I would miss his kid
I guess that’s when they brought the balloons in their press release a balloon that was really close to a lady Frank
so did he miss the lady cuz I’m not coming to see the show if you didn’t miss the lady okay good I was going to say I could miss a lady with a knife doing it for 30 years that’s called marriage
sure that that that weird Forest donkey lab doesn’t doesn’t doesn’t make your inherent misogyny any any any any any lighter I thought it did and I’m a paying customer let me in let me into your night show
we’re standing at I’m standing on the sidewalk outside the theater with a knife shows happening that’s what you don’t know alright let’s move on
what do you mean thank you
that applies if that’s the ruling applies to people who really respect the Duncan Trussell kind of brand because they’re like should he have a kid like I think I maybe should but should he I don’t know that’s it’s different from my I mean look how that turned out Jesus Christ
I’m getting so insecure up here really I’m still stuck on the brain donkey laugh would you were making fun of my life now you’re comparing me to other people through my ass lining I’m wearing my oh wow yeah we do you know my wife actually asked me today if I had a prolapsed like if my asshole fell out in the bathroom cuz you would I call for help for her this is all hypothetical know if you did okay question was like if you hadn’t approached like if your rectum fell out
would you call for help would you be too embarrassed
and I said I would fucking hang myself with it help to anybody that I would get a plunger and try and just stuff it back in
a blender a plunger of Wonders of Wonders your prolapse Athol back inside your body that’s just that’s just a Fool’s errand I don’t know people starting happens to 32 coming out on elephant Titus like in Breakfast Club like it’s like a thing that’s like technically possible but it’s not like a common it doesn’t just happen to everybody like kidney stones happens every day just falls out of your ass
happens when the full moon literally everybody in the audience look to your left and then look to your right both of those people sick of her prolapsed anuses
is it a thing that just happen randomly or is it associated with age does your vaccine-related an accident that big heart vaxxers
yeah I mean a lot of people think that the pediatrician’s are making money out the vaccines but it’s not the case it’s the pediatrician’s are usually connected to proctologists if you do you’re getting kickbacks from the kickbacks from the Proctologist the vaccine within a month or ass hole falls out you know the whole story classic Washington Post piece about Pro laptop wholesome the man
then nobody will take you seriously though go he wrote this article because he has a prolapsed anus and just trying to make it part of something other than him being a real schmuck I’m just saying I can probably a stigma against people who have that your your very life partner brought up the question like if it happened to you in your own bathroom would you even call my name or would you be so embarrassed that this fate befell you that you would simply try to stuff it back up there like a Kleenex with a plunger I mean so so don’t don’t look at me is the source of the of the of the of the shade over the prolapsed anus re welcome it there’s a lot of stigma
attached to a prolapsed give you weird hypothetical situations like that or is that the first one I gave a day she texted me cuz like I just I like what I’ve been very busy lately so I don’t like a day off she’s like just relax just relaxing like see if you know you could just chill out today and like within 2 seconds the next text was if we get a home Invader you know we have to fight for a while yet no matter what because they’ll just kill us anyway she just hang her anxieties on you like this look like let them hang them out to dry because your job and it’s like he’s after you have a baby there’s all these mommy groups is what they’re called so it’s like moms like sort of like support groups for having children
painful for the man for the woman is not so bad they faked it to different study meet in mommy group that you have like all my mom somewhere and there are some probably they were talking about that your ass Holcomb prolapse when you have a baby they probably triggers I mean it probably every Instinct possible regarding anything dangerous that can ever happen I think that’s safe enough to say that we see that in a bearers of our nation’s children like they Through The Eyes of those of us that are childless late it’s pretty easy to recognize that having a child changes to and not in ways that are fun for the childless because it everything is becomes about like that’s a pretty sharp corner of a electrical outlet electrical outlets
Sprint we had a Costco boy like watch an episode of Preppers and you will see Pikachu out of Doomsday Preppers call Doomsday Preppers Preppers craft we are free V8 it cuz today is coming rappers like what else you prepping for a salad no doomsday is everyone’s first course
you can become a prepper if you have a baby pretty easily and then you could you could see how it goes yeah your father’s prepping what do you do why can’t break that are all in half and put it in my pocket anymore I have to put it back in the bottle
cuz the baby Mary Jane with its little sausage fingers and what I was with drugs just so you can’t you can’t have any either can be no so that you’re you’re doing they’re prepping for your baby is just not having loose drugs hanging about psilocybin out of your beard
it wants to kiss you you can’t do it anymore so that’s a pragmatic approach and then and then
Arc or something I can do I don’t have the discipline to do that kind of stuff going to have to build an ark
but someone told someone a long time ago
Gilbert
name whenever guy that had to build an ark name one other person that had to build an ark you mean besides Knowing damn the Unicorn didn’t know he was wearing beautiful suits and having fun hosting shows and then look what happened to him you know that’s when you’re in grade school in Matteson elephants and porpoises to and everybody didn’t give a fuck about the Unicorn caught me and my Milwaukee Public School was like I was like God this fucking song again like it takes you through the ballad of how the Unicorn once fucking frolicked along with every animal and then then this fucking biblical event happened in the I don’t know if the Unicorn was
and I didn’t get on the boat is it was a very shape and I don’t think that any animal deserves to not be on the ark did they
what would. I mean know the problem was at that time the dinosaurs were there they were I think extinct we are bones planted by the devil Planet fucking Giant

where but the Bible talks about the Leviathan in the Behemoth aren’t those like dinosaurs or sound does a whale’s I thought those were the Bible talking about dinosaurs look like check this out I think it’s just you know it I know it
so you’re going to do the agenda okay there was dinosaurs
the whole planet was covered in the lizards no one cared
play Jerry Jeff yeah that makes sense
did you hear the thing I heard there was a Radiolab saying where they updated the the the the model of what of the extinction event for dinosaurs and whereas we used to think it was like meteor hits and cloud of dust goes up blocks out the sun plants die things that eat the plants guide things that eat the things that eat plants. I know it was a fucking supersonic bullet from from the great unknown that that that that somewhere around the speed of sound or light and freaking like vaporized so much rock as its jetted into the planet that The Rock Vapor fill the atmosphere immediately started cooling turned into a cloud of tiny glass beads that got so hot as they started falling back to the Earth that the entire planet
span of 2 hours got it hot is a pizza oven in every living thing on Earth died from having their blood boiling yeah
and it does hold up because it is the best pizza we ever have way you do your butt and then the little the little marmoset comes out that represent us you know that at least show you the film at the Museum and it’s like that
I think don’t act that thing don’t got no boilable blood player I think they said he knows I learn to live by Under The Radar this isn’t the podcast to learn stuff I think of you get a doomsday prepping though I think of you for other reasons other than this but there is this there is it I don’t know if you if you’ve heard of this guy and now I can’t remember his goddamn name so I can’t ask even heard of them but maybe you’ll remember his name if I described what had he was out he was like a hacker guy that was like a genius and then he he got sentenced to some stuff for hacking early in his life but then he like they let him off cuz he was like it just a bright kid they’re like don’t waste his life let him let him be smart with computers and maybe he’ll now that he’s learned his lesson
it was an early Bitcoin adopter and then he like invested all his Bitcoin money into like the style was just it was just like super rich and super autonomous and super smart and then he got really really paranoid and he he was he he he got a house and he dug tunnels under the house that we’re going in every direction all under that his entire neighborhood under all his neighbors houses which I always I was like this you can just do that I like that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do is Minecraft underneath everybody and just be like I mean I wouldn’t like eavesdrop on you or anything I just feel like under your house and I’d be like happy and you’d be happy cuz you’ll be like I love shower I’m going to be like I love dirt
and every once in a while I’d grab the pipes like Chunk in The Goonies and chunk and what’s his name slap like that and then I hear that Calamity above me that one fucking weird but they find you under someone’s house down there he’s got but the guy was totally prepping for doomsday soap anybody have some plan that involved like app development or something and he hired this kid to work for him and he was so dedicated to and no one knowing about his tunnels cuz what good is a network of tunnels under your house if anybody knows about it except for all the people he hired to dig them and let just leave after they were like things are going to cave in pretty soon bye and he didn’t do anything about them but he just chewed that he hired the right his sauce mysterious doomsday software he put it did this whole thing where you picked him up from an airport equipped like a crazy like Silicon Valley version
blindfold on him driving around for 3 hours took him to the fucking tunnels gave him a bucket and Xbox in a laptop and and said you’re going to work down here why can’t you work at a hotel I don’t know I guess you didn’t want one of them literally know what city he was in maybe I don’t know but you didn’t dig a hotel hotel I mean he tried to fire happened down there any of the guy had no he was a hoarder and he was you know he’s very very very paranoid about the government you know knowing everything it was doing not not that paranoia doesn’t typically apply to like also this is a fire hazard just had stacks of newspapers and magazines and things and had this kid down in his
spider dungeon while he lived upstairs and then the kid texted him like I Smell Smoke and it might be an electrical fire and he was like all right then I’ll turn off all the lights down there and and then and then like so then that guy was down there walking through a maze of hoarded newspapers and burning walls and he probably passed out from smoke inhalation and I had one of those horrible best you could die and the guy made it out onto the lawn and was like I think someone’s in there in the fire department was like holy shit there’s a fucking prairie dog city under your house anyways do you know a guy named Michael Stipe
Derek lunch or something your your your your your your congregation in my congregation that they have a joyful overlap I do I like to think but then there’s like stuff that your congregation probably thinks about more than the my perception of mine and I thought that might be one of them that that if a guy was like who is convinced of the world is ending so much that he dug all these tunnels and then accidentally killed the dude I thought maybe there’s something out there
oh man what I think when I see these fucking Preppers is why do you want like they want to stay alive after everything in like wild things are happening they’re not that into it they want you look at the wife this Subterranean I don’t know why why
because I’m from Wisconsin that’s not why I that’s why I know why because I’m coping with the therapy is Insidious compulsive fear of being a schmuck of being the the the the the mark the rude okay there’s so much emphasis in the midwest on and how those people in California New York they’re crazy they’re pretentious they’re delusional they don’t understand that you’re supposed to have winter for 10 months and that your car doors with the freeze broken they’re not practical people we’re practical people and if you’re ever should you ever be caught off guard by your taxes or your medical payments or anything like that it’s like
there’s a bigger fear of that and I’m only using my I statements no matter if you’re from Milwaukee and you’re like fuck you I’m fucking cool and I skateboard on ice
but but but but I do think it’s like a cultural thing like in the in the more in the last Coastal staying where you’re like I’m more afraid of being anyone’s sucker that I am afraid of not living a fun life 75 in a freezing Tundra summon your chin to Midwestern thing if you do with your nose it might break off the you can die happy going like yeah but at least I didn’t go to California where those people are crazy they talk to their own hair and they’re crazy this guy for the Midwest I’m saying doomsday prepping I totally get it because I when I think about it I get it I’m like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah because my biggest nightmare about about turning on the TV and
and have it have is it going to well it happened and it seems you’ve been thinking might have happened for 40 years because it’s like one of many things that might happen it happened and I don’t have the fucking bag of shit I could have bought 40 years I’m going to be like oh I lost that life yeah when really that’s not how you lose it like you lose it Life by living after the apocalypse Ya by living in a shit ton with a bunch of newspapers and smoke a need to climb out and it seems like the entire phenomena is
really really tragic not just because they Preppers kids like God may you never be born to a family of Preppers it’s the fact that those people should what they say it’s going to happen happens that’s the those are going to be the people who create the the next human race Australia and America like we we often refer to that as if there’s like maybe a oh you know you know why Americans are obsessed with tits and guns is because it’s part of our is like genetic socio-psychological like saying that we were like where we run from things and panic more easily because back in the day when traveling the Atlantic was seventy percent lethal like it actually created a filter of the kind of people that had children that from which people are descended and actually it’s some people will make the argument that like Australians and Americans are like we’re different like in Ark
ecology in our culture because it’s like we’re descended from crazy people like genetic survival weirdness are you back to the country has been at War for what is it 93% of its history now 94% of its history hours yeah I think it’s 93% 94% of our history we’ve been at War now they’re finding out trauma gets encoded in your DNA there’s epigenetic drama so even if you didn’t go to war if like your grandfather went to war yeah great so it gets stuck in you yeah
good job well that’s cool cuz I didn’t really talk to my grandpa’s as much as I should have given that they fly Nazis we go out back and take a photo of me smoking a cigarette on a tank because there’s some of them who do it secretly but like if anyone knows your doomsday prepper that’s the first place I’m going to fucking go to it’s like you probably want it like if someone has like a crazy house full of water it’s like that going to go shoot that place up for trying to eat up a play just thinking about like the dumb asses that are that are looking for people in haven’t I’m going to go straight to the damn place off of the shit I’m going straight to dance place because he has a gun he doesn’t know how to work he’s got all the water has got all the water
he’ll help print a gun that’s the safety on he doesn’t know how that fucking thing happened to movie I live here now and we’re going to have your gun imma show you how to work it and then tell you what a roller coaster ride
yeah I went into a I went when we were shooting this show when I shoot the show Joe Rogan call Joe Rogan questions everything we were like it was a very funny show because he because he never questioned Joe Rogan
admit it.
I know I did we both went into the show at the kind of like I really thought maybe we’re going to fucking find something I think about but developing a thing yeah and it’s like if you want to treat you so that’s it really end up in a perfect way he did in the perfect weight and he died right unfortunately our pal Paso yeah anyway he did he talk about the story he doesn’t know where is why Krogan over the course of the series
began to realize like oh yeah it’s not the course it’s not right it’s not out there with me or meeting with people who are like saying that alien seeds and planted in him and stuff and putting what we ended up in an underground Subterranean Limestone cave I ended up there but if it was a kid it was liking us a limestone cave without the government had used the storage shed and then this guy bought it and he was running out of space where you can park your RV down there and you realize like once the door shut the blast door shut and it locks that guy becomes king I saw I remember you telling me about that it was like all the future of tomorrow
that underground remind me that I’ll be coming here with a child when there’s no law and I’m still who I am and can’t do a sit-up much less stand up to the steps to dig a hole in living in now for frozen pizza I hope nothing untoward has you create a new Society with my mosquito Coast before he was so sleepy like he was still looking forward to stuff I don’t know is before that point where he was like my camera gets mad when I complained about crashed a plane on a golf course and brilliantly it was all doctors were golfing that day
he crashed the plane and it was just a bunch of off-duty doctor’s but Saw 2 on solo that’s fucking bro that was a shoer of like something like it was like the headline was like take a tour of the world’s most expensive bomb shelters are something something caught my attention that was like I don’t think I’m the most expensive or they’re just name the price like for 1 billion dollars you could live here after the apocalypse or something it was like an abandoned military missile silo so makes sense you’re like oh wow cool where do you want to be in the event of something horrible o i r e a decommissioned place where they actually thought people were going to be sitting and pushing the buttons that was nucleating the world like like probably a good place to start with your little Lord of the Flies the best Airbnb
but it was so I was like the whole thing was like the intro of it the description of it was sort of like this is for rich people this is for rich people and it was like it was so depressing it was almost there a beautiful because you were like yeah it it like richness in the apocalypse is going to buy you literally the right maybe kind of
to pull up to the Entertainment Weekly party of having been promised that your billion dollars is still worth anything with the currency of the appointment and where are you I’m as what I what I thought about the day of a book that you own you have because it’s like a timeshare thing or like you’re not X your butt like a condo kind of thing where you own a segment of this vast underground pipes and it was impressive in terms of its like the bility to keep the rich people alive for a hundred years but it was a really open your eyes to like oh my God if your only goal is to live and you spend all of your money on that goal it’s it really looked like hell when you thought about you looking at the picture like we didn’t here’s our Wine Cellar or if it was like yeah but it’s not you can’t by like making an underground saying it feel like Freedom went out while and ended
imagine I get what I was watching the video and I just kept imagining like we can’t have an election without tearing each other’s throats out we can’t we can’t have a 12 12 Angry Men can’t decide on a verdict without a fucking drama happening life every life raft has a movie about how we’re really just animals as subjects like I can’t imagine voluntarily getting in my station wagon because the mushroom clouds are happening or the gas got released and I’m like I got my kids that I’m in charge of protecting my loved one on my let’s drive to the to the place where the doomsday preppers are in charge
weird way they do that every day they getting their fucking cars and they drive to that today it’s we are kind of in a doomsday prepper situations only we’re not underground with the rich people yet we’re above ground with the rich people and were like trusting that everything’s going to get to be fine even though it’s clearly like people can I have a friend she can’t get her insulin anymore like she just can’t get Madison she has to drive to someplace to get the medicine is very expensive and already it’s were that thing where you like what is worth anything it’s like the one that creepy things are many of her many creepy things about the hot super extreme wealthy but one of the creepy things as money doesn’t mean anything to them anymore because they do favors for each other because you fucking needs money when you have billions of dollars all you can do is favors so their currency is the currency of favors and we’re the ones who are like still in the money and stuff like that and we’re the ones who were hanging our coats on their benevolence with his crazy idea that is when everything becomes automated
they’re going to treat its great will be fine the people have all the money they loved us that’s great do us because we’re humans and you know they care about human see how they treat you the money you paid for the right to bring your biological viable family into a rabbit burrow that was dug by a Bitcoin investor when the money that you paid him for the right to a condo in his abandoned missile silo is now officially not worth anything yeah I’m sure he’s going to be real tactful at the next dinner party about your wife’s deck deck deck deck deck I was kind of tacky to say to my girlfriend and I was like what wait a minute do you mean hey you could get beaten up by before that by the pool
that I paid for it with all of my money in a world where if that doesn’t happen everything’s going wrong I like it like that that is just like that idea is like being in an actual situation where it’s nothing but fuck a primate rules I might die before I wake
you see the road the movie the road it’s one of my favorite said they just have like like it’s almost like a DirecTV and cuz I don’t even bothering to try to convince you anything other than it’s just read out the windows and he’s having this conversation with his wife and I like which bullets to use for a film about that terrify how do you make it just about wondering and thinking like a kid gets increasingly barrel and then I would rather be the guy with the shopping cart with his son wandering the desolate like wastelands and Alkali just bullshittin then be the rich people underground I’d rather just take my chances and Be Mad Max
we are both kind of saying is that is that the rich people thinking that being underground is going to make it not the shopping cart experience are so deluded and wasting so much of their energy right now not just because you can grab a shopping cart from Target right now put it in your backyard and be as prepared for what happens if the day Humanity loses accountability has Elon Musk in affection at the core of the earth like anyone around there’s just going to be like he’s not looking he’s got a Snickers in his pocket
I think like maybe the first pages of the Road by Cormac McCarthy it says like it’s a father and a son and I think it’s might be page one each was his other world entire that right there is the whole book is like the idea that if you have somebody that you care for that’s that’s tragedy back story was that the matriarch like she had she had opted out right yeah she just walked the way she killed herself when she just walked out into it and you were just so certain to die that she just walked in some direction to save a bullet know I think she just gave up she was just sort of like what’s the point why are you it’s just so fucking like it’s weird because it used to be a fun thing to think about and it’s like I can’t be scientifically certain whether so it’s not fun to talk about because of our Changing Times I could easily also another thing as changes I get older and older I get the more and more I get more and more in love
hi I’m more and more my he’ll becomes the idea of of Cody being hurt so I am in that other world entire like that idea that if you care for anything in the apocalypse that’s instant tragedy ever been as enthusiastic about my post-election very enthusiastic like what you know you like you do you say I’ve seen these YouTube videos on Facebook I guess their Facebook videos
you put some you put some pipes in the water in the fish go through and then you got plenty of fish D we had a slack of Leonel funny Asian and Spencer at one point kind of like it was like his more capable than any of us Venture you should learn about ham radio and use it as many as like we’re all relying on Spencer and then I was like yeah okay yeah and like I think maybe Cody or somebody probably are you are you not into this you don’t believe in this in this plan or that plan or you don’t agree that they can because you were asked a direct question you answered directly and say I love those you’re like well I just think it when the shit hit the fan my chances of survival are going to be a lot higher by myself
yeah I know I truly think I mean that’s what all the apocalypse stuff is about it’s like you join a group and then politics happens and suddenly your heads on a spike it’s like I want to just be hiding in the wood catching my fish and pipes try to leave the kids out of it if you can but I think it’s funny that we all think the world ends in a way we need that we’re going to be able to go into a Subterranean tunnel we’re going to be either way it’s going to be a new came to LA and we’re going to all just be stuck in traffic I don’t want to leave
I think it’s going to be what’s happening with having right now is it’s going to be a One V one potential wake it in is Progressive layers of absurdity that drive everyone completely insane and it starts off with this like
taking you animated you with an AI and then that AI becomes like a thousand times funnier than you and then it starts making its own YouTube videos but then it has an AI That’s making its own a few videos and the first you becomes completely irrelevant so you have to deal with this kind of like my friend calls it ask it to Apple ocalypse where everything just shatters and we all kind of end up being like lost in this is tiny little sentient particles and so kind of technological Kaleidoscope where we’ve been completely irrelevant Eyes by Ai and then there’s no by the time you get in the town of your like I don’t even know if I’m me or an old version of me that’s in a tunnel and then that’s I think kind of I think that’s what’s happening now why everybody’s fuses are blowing and share right now is because you know their faces are buried in the phone which by the way that’s another thing when you’re a parent you eat they keep saying like screen time is really bad for children and it the age it’s bad for them keeps going
open up an app when you’re like it doesn’t stop being bad for you it’s bad for you
shut off of a screen and tell her 28 years old we’re going to I’ll raise a generation of powders to cancel
I could sit here I believe I’ve been sent here to crush candy table that the phenomenon that you describing can be seen on an atomic level with with just our general stupidity the fact that like and I and I’m included in this I’ll be sitting at a bar and everyone at the bar that arguing about some David Hasselhoff reference or what year this happen or how much money this is everyone all we would rather sit and argue Sometimes some bars have rules they go like you know what the tradition of the bar argument about the Cliff Clavin bullshit is so rich and important that the first person that looks at their phone isn’t is a traitor to the bar crawling race but it also just happens organically and not just in bars where it’s like look at what we look at what we would rather do with our technology
I really don’t mean this like in the snobby sent if anything I’m kind of like let’s really look at the fact that we we we we we miss let ourselves in the fifties and sixties when we started to exploiting the Adam and writing sci-fi the things about our brain getting bigger from vitamin dinners at like like to think that we really believe that that the smarter were able to get the smarter we’re going to want to get the more information available to you like even in high school we were like man if his teacher would just let me use the calculator and then the next year was like oh you can use your calculator now cuz they’re everywhere and that’s part of the test was like alright well now I didn’t take my seat instead of this information is all available to us were walking around with an entire movie studio and Encyclopedia of all of the Earth’s I think of knowledge in our pocket and what we use the device for me and
is weak weak weak go to social media Gatherings and we go hey faget pay homophobe head fuck you face cut and paste stuff every once in awhile would like to bother to Google something to go 20% of it that you’re wrong and it’s weed we don’t want to know we don’t want to be God’s we don’t want to be calm we don’t want to be like a site like we we actively so what you were saying that that we will be line just launched his fucking neuro fiber think whatever the hell is that something that happened was that hypothetical launch for the it’s a it’s called a neuralink it’s like your brain to compute on
great it’s an interface device
anyways but like fucking comfortable life crisis never man in midlife crisis that being rich and putting a fucking tomorrow in thousand of years so I’m like happy little alien societies like hanging out in like the car just smashes through their alien driveway what the fuck is like blasted some music it’s got like a mannequin and died
going to find the car and Zoe Lee is the find the car are going to have listened to their elon’s and they’re going to be like look it’s a car I bet they had a new car now there’s going to be like that there’s going to be like a friend it’ll be like in Aliens came to Earth and don’t be like there’s something inside and it’s like oh that’s just a mannequin but it’ll take like 2 weeks for them to find that out it’ll be like a global internet for these things because he going to be alright because mathematically that the universe is probably infinite there’s going to be a chance that he’ll I must stupid convertible car it’s going to run into another species car I will smash you all the more reason to launch all your garbage cars fixed so that that accident is between two shity cars that no one cares about instead of a black hole in space
do you know that mathematical isn’t exactly three times at least three times I’ve met him that the friendship he loves them it’s a bromance classic romance classic classic Bromance I’m glad you’re happy for the classic romance romance water balloon filled with our clothes
also send the car from the alien species it smashes into him it’s going to be a fucked-up messed up but that’s what’s going to freeze and die instantly unless he knows something we don’t know that he’s going to cry like a space heater can we Circle back to the insulin conversation
the mouse balloon just cuz like cuz insulin cost a million dollars right into it man but it only cost like $2 to make insulin so that’s called like an itching that lets a hole in the market like we could sell $6 insulin and be fucking Rich right yeah and why did why did they do that you can get on the phone and I know we got to look at it there’s must be some sort of what do you call like mob like medicine mob that’s preventing people from doing this right because like they are literally threw charging hundreds of thousands of dollars for something that only cost a couple dollars to do that it reminds me of a cold open of The Golden Girls I just watch where Sophia comes in and she’s carrying like three bottles of plastic bottles of water and she goes
taste this tasteless and they all taste the water and the water is it good cuz I just got out of the holding back
thank you for being a friend. I guess it would have taken too long to run that and if you had a party bag back from me in it’d be bigger than everyone’s box and when you open it up there be a smaller box party cuz I’m Damon Lindelof McDowell do the note would say that now you are perfect strangers
it was outstanding strong Ranger and friends all day long
this friendship doesn’t have an an rain and thunder strangers and rain it’s a new and strange your day it’s my life my dream Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now
I got my wrists to bleed
don’t go there man you guys a little trivia about his kid when we get there late they make no sense well then do something with it what do you want me to do I don’t know I don’t fucking know Robert help your son
future yeah I’ll let him give him a chance he’s Robert Altman son all right look up I’m making this movie about a war
put the theme song on my desk by 8 a.m. and maybe I’ll use it for you song stupid I wish I was good I wouldn’t hurt that much might as well as looking stick your dick in a river and everything bulshit there
this is pretty good
what the fuck is your Emmie Brewster here’s your retirement package might as well might as well stick your dick in a river that sucks up the Korean crisis so well we really peaceful you stick your dick in it videos where the people get pulled into the LA River doing that all the time different trucks
well a man can’t move until he gets a Different Stroke when he comes to you you better take a poke there’s a man that he’s a man of means that a long time to they got nothing but they are you Genesis Alan Thicke
call Alan Thicke would be Genesis. Sorry I didn’t mean to cut you off a little trivia fact about Alan Thicke he’s a eugenicist I’ve heard he’s which is why they’ve got nothing but their jeans well I always I always wish every where the man is born he’s a man of means been a long time to they got nothing but their GM I’m sorry it’s in the late great believe it’s past originally it was they got nothing but perfect bumps on their heads yeah yeah nothing but the capacity for a certain amount of a small lead balls to fill their skull postpartum
Small Wonder go she doesn’t want you to worry about much at all in this life she’s a robot dressed like a weird anachronistic schoolgirl a docks and a high-pitched monotone did we cast her for her Charisma or did we do the I said it was sold in syndications and no one had a chance to realize how disturbing it was to watch before they were 200 episodes Jesus
weird shit you can repeat
that’s what I remember is that she is so small and she’ll make your neck hurt
aren’t much fun
everyone
your frowns on trial how to approach my smile I sentence you to stay awhile
that is a diamond that’s a lot better sorry than a long time do they got nothing but their jeans guess someone had to be home by 3 what the fuck just go back maybe a man of means of a fuking right weird and it isn’t likely to change your lyrics Alan Thicke sorry I know you’re dead
your friends on trial approach my smile I sent it to you in a while while anything to write.
Alan Thicke probably bought a house with a Different Strokes lyrics money and their shity lyrics it’s a catchy song it was blared over loudspeakers into the proletariat brain for 8 years and we can’t really actually know if it’s a good sign or not
if Alan Thicke had to have a Soundcloud account that we know what he’s really made of
scary yeah everybody is at 6 I’m coming at you it’s Dwayne SoundCloud coming at you partly cloudy chance of sound
here’s my latest experiment with the garage band wait
SoundCloud SoundCloud that’s not let me tell you what
the sound comes on the cloud for real

God turns his back on this country
and I’ll tell you what else they tell me they tell me her name is
does Alexandria ocasio-cortez do you mean president
president he had his rally our actual Nazi rally in the middle of the country and was like what about these different places with you would like me I love it and I know that it was fucking insane but it’s like more insanity but do you really understand the threat that we really crossed because previous to this anytime anybody was like trying to like be an apologist for this openly fascist slide we’re taking the way that they would apologize for it would be to go I worked I have a friend who work for the clintons and did you have no idea man they’re no better but I got like hey what was Obama’s thing or any better it’ll be like all these things that I ate was like okay I believe that was the bent of it was like it’s it looks like a little bit like a fascist
what do you mean that last thing wasn’t fascism come on Obama had those drones and this was like an actual Crossing of a threshold where he would like these elected officials in my country is that I won an election in that I have no reason to do anything about unless of course the actual structure of the way things work and then it doesn’t work for me. Good these ladies represent his thing and they were like invalidate the make them not citizens to make them go away and he was like worse than I’m going to say it
Hitler would have been like yeah yeah yeah and he was like I love it like he’s just lazy and cowardly about it and then it was like cowardice is the fucking worst part of it there’s a forgive the Americans in the audience who got caught up in a state look up this podcast has been around long enough that we we can draw the parallels we were in Chicago in a dear friend of mine who remains a friend of mine to this day I like like said the n-word because I asked him not to say the N word so I thought it’d be a funny joke to say the n-word and unresponsive I’m saying it has some fucking does zeitgeist of energy about people being afraid of their freedom of speech mean to her and I don’t think I’m better than them and I don’t think anybody’s worst crowds are allowed to act like fucking animals that’s what they do like it is a fucking horrible an American thing to Insight
that energy and then do nothing nothing at all it would be more Americans if I can own it and go like yeah you heard me cuz then at least you could be like oh yeah he he was caught up in it too he was a little bit American he’s a fucking lazy napping child having a dream about eating his own shit and like the only thing more dangerous than anything is anything with a loaded gun that doesn’t know it’s loaded like he’s so fucking dumb and cowardly in lazy that he’s going to destroy us all anyways so it’s something that really creeped me out is I watch Nick one of Nancy Pelosi’s gets put out this awesome documentary about going on the Press tour with George W bush it is really good and it’s like all these jaded reporters and they’re cool though and they’re just like he’s full of shit is bullshit and then like they’re filming George W bush and you see man he is
so Chris Matic like he is so incredibly weirdly grizmatik stacked in the in a weird way he’s like it’s like I’m watching like holy shit man that is some crazy magic he’s doing he’s like you know he’s like just winning everyone over everyone’s getting one over by this like incredible weird taxes Illuminati Charisma thing that’s like radiating out of them you don’t want to like him you know is he I don’t know how many people ended up killing or being part of killing but why don’t know the civilian casualties 100,000 interactive puppy but he’s like you know who just he’s like yeah yeah I see that you know because snake bites that are pretty bad I’m going to kill him
I’m going to kill a hundred thousand people and it’s like you know it’s like but at the end of this press tour he says this thing to the reporters he’s like you know I don’t appreciate a lot of what you said about me in the Press but I respect all of his people and I was like come our dads maybe because now I can’t tell the difference between like like old people get old and then they go you know what you used to call boring stodgy stuff I need to start to sign across the line but I don’t think that’s the case I believe we’re in a constitutional crisis because I believe the previous to this V the fucking left and right margins contained things like the right for a fucking free press and an actual need for them like there is this
and it was actually part of what disillusioned us I think it’s because it felt rhetorical because well if you really believe that then why are you why are you acting the way you act why are you bombing this country and then sitting at the correspondents dinner and sank to quote JFK of the the Press is Right tube to defy me as more than about you night so it was also rhetorical feeling and it was like oh this all means nothing in it for the excitement when someone goes you know what he’s eating me or is this just a bunch of poopy doopy poopy doopy and then everyone’s eyes poop and it’s a fucking crisis because ain’t no reason it ain’t pooping doobies or and there ain’t nothing to make anyone go to detention and it was actually we were we were actually being held together with the fucking weird compulsion for rule of law
well you know that creepy thing in the home and get out there’s that great movie funny games where you know what I’m talking about the original or the American either Night Rod no no no I thought you were like my parents show up and they’re weird and they’re they’re surely never leave it you don’t want to believe that you’re getting home invaded Siri
laughing by the time you’re like tied up with your husband whose money is being broken and it’s in the evening you know you were like oh fuck I got home invaded like this is really happening for the rest of your short life is you’re being dumped into a pond with a cement block tied to your neck is supposed to sit there and wonder you’re dying. His clubbed random child in the head as soon as you showed up on my porch I guess I should have been really very hateful and distrustful that was my big mistake was trusting people all gosh darn me I guess that’s why I’m dying a horrible death that’s the horrible thing about it is the way it spreads is like it’s like I’m not touching you I’m not touching you yell at anybody looks like been in a car with kids know who slick with that antagonism has its own sentience is that you are you getting mad or you getting mad cuz there’s no wrong answer that question you’re either going to let me keep fucking with you or you’re going to blow your stack and prove that I should have been fucking with you
some people think confuse their their their their cowardice of benevolence and if it’s not you’re not you’re just afraid and usually the situations when you’re afraid to just to cause of her confrontation like they’re saying now people watch Epstein flying all the underage kids do his Island way after he got convicted there’s a room you know news or the people we kept seeing these kids and it seemed really bad nothing happened there something I think in a in a person in general gets feel so little sometimes or so insignificant that you don’t want to fight back and so that’s we know what Foster’s all of the horrible shit that’s happening is like in these clothes systems where your jobs at stake you keep a secret and then your there’s blasphemy that can happen in the sense that if you say the thing about the person who supposed to be okay it could destroy
oh my God I could destroy the business of family of a religion or whatever a person does nothing sensible person does less than a less reasonable person turning your back on a thing even though it’s clearly happening right in front of you it has its own Spirit to and when and when you realize that there’s people who literally
thrive on that reality and not exploit it I mean this is like a con Artistry is find a person you know they want to be nice that’s the first Mark against them is like oh shit they’re just afraid to make think they’re good people so I’m going to come to them I’m going to like hypnotize them get them invested and whatever my bullshit is and then I’m just going to let you know turn them into my slave humiliate them take everything from them and then by the time I’m done they’re going to pretend it didn’t happen because they are there from the Midwest or whatever you said if they didn’t want to be rude. So they’re going to ignore that they even got fucked with and then that’s what produces the situation I think we are able to take over a cool party by doing a bunch of crazy fucking shit they have nothing to lose they were not the cool person at the party so kicking over an ashtray jumping off the roof in your underwear in the mail like a 8 in the cops to get called like it didn’t those people they don’t take
they only enter win-win situations they they flow to the lowest point of of of human back like where they’re like actually shitbag was was was running he was constantly blowing that horn cuz he would go I don’t think I’m going to win because probably everyone else is cheating but if I do win it’s because I’m awesome
any website like are you sure you don’t want to cover a couple more bases you fucking three-year-old like really you don’t want to stick your neck out a little bit like as much as you did when you tried the sentence 5 watch it it’s kind of like it whatever man I am done I’m done I’m done I’m done we all know that he’s going to win the second time there’s no fucking reason to doubt that there’s no fucking reason to doubt that valuable to us in as much as it causes us to have conversations that you know and I obviously you guys have more than enough people talking to you about everything that’s going on and I like I am not the person is. That’s why I’ve been more and more quiet about politics with every passing episode because it’s like I’m not helping by talking about it and then I have a driver in Canada in Canada Saskatchewan which is like like the Oklahoma
of Canada it’s it’s very Royal it’s very red Reds stadium like if you know that’s the comparison to like they hate Justin Trudeau our driver Nice Guy funny guy is it at I want to shoot him
should extra do you sound like you’re from Texas because you haven’t texted that they would let you have guns
like they hate Justin Trudeau because he is the he’s a liberal smart guy that speaks three languages going to Charming it’s fucking nasty everywhere you go and the idea that you don’t think that Trump will win again is crazy you know I think you’re probably right and I’m sorry we about to make a note on trumpet get a fucking second term because there’s no reason to assume otherwise we we all get to vote our conscience this time around like we don’t have to like sucked into the game of like may possibly like yelling at our friends about like well you know if you don’t vote for fucking generic Johnson then we have no chance of winning it’s like it might be an invitation to for people to explore new ways of thinking about
Herman’s dad a lot of people don’t here we go to the conversations like this really amazing Buddhist scholar named Robert Thurman and he’s like best friends with the Dalai Lama and he’s written a lot of great books on Buddhism and politics and Buddhism and activism cuz people don’t realize that the date that the two go hand in hand but I was so I love that he named his kid because he’s so good as his kids named him Robert he became an actor
this is his he was saying that we can’t get cynical like a it’s right now is the perfect time to get super cynical and if you get super cynical you’re going to get shut down if you get shut down that’s exactly where they want you cuz they want Senegal pessimistic shut down people who get so groom a fight by the current political system no one votes you just give up and not just vote in the in the big elections but just vote in local elections and get really involved in in your community to the Lincoln pass stuff at the state level the create at least mini force field up in some way or another out if not more important than the if I can get them reality show at the top then we wouldn’t be alive right now and the guy at the top wouldn’t be focusing his fucking nuclear option is on local representatives of fucking neighborhoods where they were unduly elected by their own constituency who probably look and think like that
play it like lately is because the whole stick of thinking locally acting locally is so is is the huge threat you can’t you can’t stand it one of those rallies and make everyone in Portland stop making their own cheese I ran out of ways to look at the inverse relationship they have they represent something there’s no pun intended likes and and it is drawing a thing from that part of the gun here is our strategy because we have no opposition on the left in terms of like a Mechagodzilla 2 are Godzilla which is actually a problem for them because if people get fatigued as they very well might of a fucking autocrat they might just actually find it more appealing for a Jimmy Carter could just step up and be like hey I like the taste of fucking graham crackers and milk I don’t need any
more of the shit I’m fucking tired goddamn you wore out my racist bone I didn’t tell my mom that I I pretended we voted for Jimmy Carter because I’m tired of being racist I got so right and it hurt like that is why because they his Instinct everyone’s like it’s a distraction for the Epstein thing that Nick I’ve never done delayed gratification in his life like he does he’s not like oh I think I’ll think ones they cannot say it he’s doing is very organic and natural he’s like I only understand fighting Joe Biden’s not worth fighting if he fights Joe Biden he looks like a fucking dummy he’s going to be like this is only going to inflate isn’t so he’s like these women of color like he want that their whole camp like is going
these faces this identity politics is powerful it can displace us and so that’s a blessing uplifting thought they’re scared of it they believe that one guy Walker can blow up the Death Star they are very worried about it yeah for sure yeah I went through a real shity like dark cynical. And then realized I’m like this is one of the great things you know you’re a hundred percent wrong about all your political predictions cuz I’ve been like just like making I realize that
I understand geopolitics I don’t understand geopolitics it’s not I just don’t know that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t interact with it but the thing I at least have been trying to do is I get my own home try to not bring that shit in there and then this guy took him Trump remember Shay says that if you want to like change the side either way you’re going to have to do it is maybe the isms of work like maybe we can make find a socialism fitworks of Communism that works the capitals in the work a little Elon Musk just them then maybe it’s just always works baby always work does Mike balloun you don’t want to come Cloud around the Earth
dispersed in a spherical pattern in there that little block little block. You’re one of those that wants to keep it in the balloon I’m saying what’s this person must you are a party man but we’re thinking about the end of the world you got to get those dishes balloons down in your bunker wave no special occasion up those just balloons right now
but that I think there’s a that’s the
you guys deflected you guys want to keep that’s your problem. You want it you want to keep it just inside the balloon sure it’s big enough
I would like I would pop that balloons
take your life
you’re going to pop a balloon you’re one of those people that wants their horrid just balloons of geniuses and you want it horrid genius GZA and balloon I would like the woolly mammoth to come back but you wouldn’t you pop that kept the whole point of putting you on messages in a balloon and launching into space is not so that it surrounds the Earth align can surround the Earth with jizz from home
we need to get his juice out of orbit where it can pop around Venus for it or the balloon I hope will pop up but you want to be on one side and it starts raining Masjid as I want it to rain genius Jazz all over my face
Cuban Cuban living in your own Paradise this whole time
you’re soaking wet baby
yeah I didn’t have to drag it back to the last fun thing and I’m not I’m not I’m not going to I’m not doing that entirely I want to actually just get the one fruit bowl thing out of that because what you said when she does that one thing which is it if we can it’s like it’s that it’s the whole wearing this thing and it’s this idea of like oh I’m wrong I’m wrong about everything like like it’s and it’s okay to be wrong with just like that’s why I was like those people Jaden is going to Rally like freaking who cares they’re a crowd that changed something to Rally the customer’s always right there Americans day of freedom of speech is there allowed to have a fucking weird dumb joke get out of control we are not weak they don’t need to be rounded up and investigated there’s a fucking dude right up there in a system that we designed for that purpose who has a chance to react to it and shoes is the worst fucking possible path that interaction and Enzo our way of fighting it in Big Air quotes is like is actually just being like Oh
learn from all of this shit last couple years I am for me using my eyes statements like I learned that I had a huge intolerance for being out of control for like like I like I like it just like boy was I like fucking addicted to like controlling the fucking world it was crazy how unable I was to handle the concept that that that shit wasn’t going to go my way tomorrow and like I ate it like I only got a teaspoon of it and I reacted in a way that made all of the women in my life all of the people of my life frankly was at like Blake there like welcome to the party and it was like okay that’s good because when that line is said and die hard marks the beginning of it
and sometimes it has to start with a dead body to breaking a windshield of a guy that just wanted to have twinkies and I know it’s confusing because I’m actually the black guy in that metaphor
I don’t know man like you know I wanted to be great you know I love the idea of like yeah we can all I love that but I’m going to stay optimistic all the way until I’m getting my head chopped off and thank you very much put on a pike I mean I just want to point out that the smattering of Applause you get when you praise optimism it’s from a bunch of optimist
very easy clappers
3D copiers easy clappers optimism does it mean having to be all like flowery and full of shit or whatever it’s like you can you can optimistically you know that’s that great book Man’s Search for meaning by Viktor Frankl where he’s like a notch with sand like with in that situation he still finds a way to maintain a belief in like your humanity is being a positive plus beautiful thing on the planet even in the midst of all that so if he could do it I’m certain the that we can do it in this insane revolting and when turbulent weird time right now it’s just if I could do it for me it just means like I can’t do anything about those fucking rallies like I can’t do anything about that I can’t do anything about a hope you dry I mean that they will hold
biological physics like that’s what is a Lenny membrane is but this by a by a lipid what’s by a fuck I forgot the goddamn thing that is it likes water on one side and an 8 on the other naturally forms of membrane around a thing it’s like they need to have their rally that’s so sorry to interrupt but I just like like like like that you know if I was sorry I interrupted then why did I interrupt
nice cap on the ship when it’s like
I don’t know man this stuff happened Superfast look what happened in Iran it can happen just like that and all of a sudden everyone’s getting arrested in the next thing you know she it’s on fire and you didn’t do anything is what were you going to do anyway and you’re fuck I mean really if you look at Taiwan as an example of what you’re supposed to do and then look at us you seem like the difference like they understand it enough to know or going to get out there and we’re not going to sweep and we’re going to get shot in the face and we’re going to like get beaten by thugs because we so don’t want to have our freedom encroached upon any more than it already is and we’re kind of like well as long as no one is racist yeah we had kind of I mean yeah because we haven’t but we haven’t yet hit that point you know Terence McKenna said that thing where the apocalypse is already happening it just hadn’t gotten to the United States yet there is like when it’s when it finally comes didn’t didn’t you know people tend to act his eye that I do have this fantasy like shit if we all just did go a yellow vests
or whatever and we really did it and we went into the streets and we’re like yeah we don’t want anymore we really started like set and shit on fire and really like doing what you’re supposed to do when things are really bad I think it would change really it would change pretty fast you mean like the all of us as a whole are the lion then you want to keep the line entertaining I guess you want to keep it active but you don’t want it to remember what it is it’s a lion and we went to the moment that happens when people remember I do if we organize and take to the streets should change it fast it’s all over for them usually it’s like a bad thing but if you can keep the line just you know pissed off give it a couple of swipes let it go out here and there but mostly keep it kind of sedated and busy typing and looking at his fucking Instagram or whatever then you can just do it
he wanted a lion you can fuck the lion you can milk the lion for its sweet Jays and add it to your weird grow Steven balloon collection and then I’ll come over. Everybody likes everybody lights up when I get back on that track I like come on get back to let thing and the cynicism is like what caused all the problems the first place this hopeless sense of cynicism which is like nothing I do is going to matter it’s all the same if everyone instead of doing that we’re like I’m going to do the best possible thing for the situation and none of it would have devolved but it had. People thought that for like hundreds of years and it created this untenable situation I wanted to hear your aunt after the day I learned that I didn’t control the world and then I had backed the wrong horse and then it was just it was so fucking sick of the fucking think pieces about you know
got the Rust Belt but we what we did forget was we forgot we forgot that every single person was like yeah we did we did enter a world where were like actually like you know what there’s such a thing as this miserable people and we that was working for a second on mclee up to a certain point and then and then and then it became a thing that you could want a platform off of some fucking dude was like fucking human Flotsam you can actually turn them all into one big mac anyways I’m mixing metaphors or maybe not I don’t know much about Big Macs but see I do think that cynicism doesn’t need them you don’t need to choose between being cynical which is the the fucking belief that things are going to tend to go from high to low hot to cold ya like like like cynicism is reality tragedy is the thing that happened
wait we we you edit it it that the people that the people that are trying to trick us into thinking you have to choose between Pollyanna and nihilism are you they don’t have our best interests at heart because we’ve been living this long by finding a way to split the difference we know God damn well that life doesn’t mean shit and but we are here because but people that had Bleaker lives than we did grab their fucking bayonets blenders particle accelerators with their weapon of choice in the war against chaos and they found order the Yazoo there’s a lot of delusion to being a human still like we’re fucking monkeys that talk it’s not worth much if you really think about it which were the only animal that can and so we shouldn’t and it’s like it’s a fucking bummer and so we make up stories and and sound clouds and stuff to cope with it that it is it is
crucial to find that middle ground that chit chit chit to refuse the temptation to someone telling you know at the end of the day you’re either this or you’re that that’s the sign of somebody that probably trying to trying to box you in and you can have joyful cynicism like a fun like when you hit an ice center at Seneca senior really just fucking just slashing the throat of the world and as long as you just can really enjoy it and recognized like this isn’t all that I am but God damn if I don’t have a nice throbbing vein of cynicism pumping through me at all times you get to have your cynicism and you’re right when Sunset when a son of a bitch in some fucking yoga studio or should I still get you to overcome your cynicism like it’s bad or something fuck that that’s the devil like you started telling yourself
don’t listen to him you react to this is the most uplifting think about you it’s just that you react to that with Fury yeah if you’re feeling like self-loathing you say in front of a yogurt guy such a piece of shit I ate a Philly cheesesteak last night it should have done that and it like the kind of people
everything it is the good part of every American that’s like no stop stop the fucking flow like lava make a mountain and change the landscape like what let it be over if you truly believe it’s like fruit looks like I’m not suggesting we go into the streets and take care of my fatness with the final solution momentarily running out this fucking lobe in my brain that’s like I’m a piece of shit I fucking fail and there are ways to like grab the person next to you when are
you know Cody’s in that space right now our dog is fucking terribly ill and she’s she’s she’s she’s she’s she’s she’s in an awful place that’s like it’s almost like a drug trip coaching kind of thing or am I probably he probably isn’t working but I like I I’m always saying to her like
you can feel that feeling just don’t you just don’t act on it it’s it like I said it just like yeah it’s like like don’t argue with people that they’re not feeling shity because then they’re like fuck you definitely know I am your horseshit your people don’t want like you want to one of those liberating things I figured out we’ll figure out so I think it’s a Buddhist idea something to talk about a little bit I think this is a safe place for you to just take credit for it to get caught up in court for 5,000 years
it’s this idea of like sometimes things just suck and that’s it so instead of trying to put lipstick on the stock or trying to like put a little wig on the stock and you like you do like I learned so much from getting one of my balls chopped off it was really a great it brought me all that stuff it’s like which is okay to do it’s not to say that you don’t learn from your trauma or whatever but a lot of times you’ll get around these like trauma cops who when you’re probably getting to the point of overcoming the guilt you’re feeling about being angry at whoever the the thing was or whatever it was and you’re finally feeling is pure anger someone will come to you and be like but maybe you should you know
zoom out a little bit from the anger and just understand that there’s a way to really love that whatever the fuck is name is
that it sucked. That’s it you know what I mean we’re going to lose everyone everyone’s going to fucking die and for real going to die and they’re going to die before you expect them to you’re going to get a phone call in the person’s dead before you expected it it’s not when you thinking you’re going to die before you expect with the way you die is not the way you thought it would be like in the movies where you look like you look like you just got back from the gym or some shit and you fall asleep know you’re going to become a drooling daughter bring thing spinning Through Time sweating profusely confused like I think I’m awake what’s the where is Danny should we go to the car leasing station or whatever it is it is going to fucking Crow and that sucks. Just accepted that sucks for me that’s been the most liberating thing to be like oh yeah it does just get to suck and then within that somewhere
there’s a sense of what I think I can fucking do this optimism shit but I can’t do it without the suck for exam hungry for it now I think there may not be a god like you can’t just force feed people lately like over it supposed to be like if I put on an outfit like I graduated from college I graduated from college but first you have to go through this like just a real swamp of like not good and not not good not like movie not good or not not good where there’s like going to be a thing at the end of the not-good where is I go see now we did we did it and now the puzzle pieces fit know it just isn’t good and that’s it and it doesn’t get better it’s actually called the hopelessness and it’s really one of the most beautiful things ever to finally become absolutely hopeless because that means that you’re not
torturing yourself anymore with a fantasy of the way things could be that’s pretty great and I advise it for anyone to become absolutely completely hopeless
Barbie kitchen
optimism grows from the soil of hopelessness in the most beautiful way Universe exists and it was created by a any kind of sentient deity can you imagine a hopeless that mother fucker must have been in order to create bother to create a plague that must have been a sad piece of shit it’s genuinely absolutely one hundred percent positive that there’s no meaning to life at all cuz here I am and there’s nothing if I don’t do it and then like I think I’ll fuck with that because I want to create the idea of immortality that that’s that’s not your hopelessness serial killer has your atonement with the with the cosmic entity like whether you if you’re an atheist and that means nothing that’s your hopelessness is you aligning as raccoons and rap. No matter what they tell you
your stations allows you to align with the unliving in personal Cosmic bulldozer that was so selfish and shity and scared and then it made the universe you’ll use it they at those moments when you’re when you got that that gun in your mouth and you don’t know who to talk to and stuff it’s like
if you could just scrape that bottom of the pool and just come back up and do time just don’t do the permanent thing don’t don’t do the saying that that email you talk about suicide don’t kill yourself yeah that’s an easy stance to take his meds for me like that I think suicide is man it’s a gamble because you are a spy, you just had the easy point of view on this side you know I would be surprising things happening and wants to find exits as the first thing that pops in your head so I thought about it a lot and
my conclusions oh well it’s uncertain about what happened upon Extinction like for example if we knew that if we somehow had some way to really show sentience is based on neurobiology when you kill yourself there is a pure extinguishment of all identity a kind of like what Dawkins cause of death is the anesthesia that saves us from the pain of Eternity stuff like we get fully put under a load coming back he’s not the band. I got to I got to revisit my Warriors
do yourself and the momentum of the pain that you were experiencing that drove you to do self violence continues into some liminal Bardot State and that momentum brings you into another Incarnation and then you’re just in this never-ending cycle it was a failed attempt it didn’t work so it doesn’t it didn’t solve the problem and so to me that’s a good. That definitely is kept me from I guess that’s an interesting what kept you from
and you’re like fantasizing that maybe when I jump out the pavement turns into like a lake or something and I dive into nothingness how do you know you don’t just suddenly come to and you’re driving like a Metro Bus having a Deja Vu London time in Consciousness is so variable that it’s the moment that your skull impact with the pavement that actually gets protracted into a subjective attorney yeah like exactly some Ikea infant Academy in like Agony moment that goes on and on and on the point is we just don’t know and and because of that it seems like or what I could say I’ve been taught as it’s better to work on extinguishing the illusion of the identity rather than the physical body because the physical body is actually a secondary consideration I wish we had started here instead of almost ending here because this is such an interesting thing maybe maybe we both just got to drive but the clever to come up with a logical reason
not to do it but I see as the big problem is the search for logic and then when people feel like they lose their logic they feel then tempted this the pain of of directional asnis and like just an emptiness where it where you’re like why it hurts and I think that’s a really interesting about humans is that our neutral Guilty Gear Gill holy shit like it was good we’re almost done gauge we are actually feeling wrong or feeling eaten alive by like these weird cyber Christ Nano and sex from my lawnmower man and like Oprah Oprah list
never know
it’s also like it’s more important to me to be like yeah you never know so don’t kill yourself but I know that sounds like the same thing but like I just like it’s a feeling it’s it’s always a feeling that’s the weird thing about humanity is there is no logical reason to stay alive there is only just just hanging out and eat it it’s that it’s that belief that if something doesn’t make sense it shouldn’t exist that can be fatal for kids who have who don’t have an experience yet with like oh shit sometimes she is super dark and confusing and then and then all of a sudden it’s not and they don’t know that when they’re sixteen and then they do the they do things that any human can do they have the power to do things that you never do when you were 40 just because you’ve experienced more 16 by then you believe this too shall pass this wisdom even though it sounds kind of provincial
battery guidance counselor but it’s it’s just like don’t act on anything that you’re only feeling it doesn’t junk and feelings are valid it is is that thing that you think about or is that some of those is coming up once in awhile the idea of a like a like a thing yourself like I used to get like is severely depressed and part of that is like intrusive Suicidal Thoughts but he’ll be thinking about it next Wednesday night in a cage with
for real-life friends keep killing themselves like are funny friends keep dying so your brain I love I really love being alive and I wouldn’t I like iced tea I used to have depression I do now but I thought about it to you I have an important for people to go like it’s at 5. How did you go somewhere and to not being depressed but what was the translation for you there fiber journey is my fiber Journey you should read my book it’s on Amazon ever block my depression fiber in quinoa yeah but the combo of quinoa fiber and just like a basic like rub fiber in my prolapse in the morning that’s just like makes me
just so you know and thank you for asking. And how is that not a cry for help it it wasn’t theirs not secret thing underneath there like that I really like to be alive I don’t have any desire at all didn’t do no longer cuz it is beautiful sign and a wonderful wife I love to exist I like it so much but I do think that the Press people they ate the even what is a psychologically documented thing which is intrusive suicidal thoughts become shameful you know this horrific way of doing things and then you feel embarrassed about it cuz you like you do want to talk about it and I meant yeah okay but then you’re like our might but you’re thinking like shit man I must be so crazy that I would want to do that when I and I really do mean this is not that I’m saying the instinct to kill yourself is actually more of an instinct to move Beyond who you think you are you’re just desperately trying to solve the problem of this microbe is hard core compression and your identity and so
this is which is why I wanted to think I’ve heard it before you reject yourself you need to know yourself how can you reject yourself if you don’t know who you are and so the idea is to First prior to any kind of horrific solution like that see if you can figure out what you actually are and in that exploration it’s really cool because like literally everything in the material Universe if you zoom in on it far enough disappears similarly the identity itself if you’ve spent any time analyzing and deeply looking into it you will begin to notice the most beautiful terrifying and ultimately liberating thing happens which is you as you thought you were cease to exist and you didn’t have to jump out of a building for that happen and somewhere in there I think it’s something quite beautiful and a far less destructive solution for your community and I think there’s some compassion there to there’s something really sweet about being an all that fucking pain that you get in
do when you’re depressed be on paying you wish you were in pain you wish you were sad anything to not just feel that numb dead entropic miasmic paralysis you would give anything just to feel a moment of sadness and somewhere in that there is something so sweet and beautiful about still finding the strength to stay alive because you know the people around you would be so devastating to me that is a really beautiful thing and that is a reason to stay alive in a logical reason to stay alive aside from the fact that when you kill yourself a hundred percent of the time you wake up and you’re having a Deja Vu with a medical City by the primary
Duncan Trussell
thank you. Going
thanks for spending your Monday night with us Spencer Crittenden at home and make it back and tell them to church
all y’all drive fast take chances on Tuesday
Jackie got it
sure. Thanks for coming
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