Episode 356: MC Late

Episode

Episode 356: MC Late

Description

Dan gets stuck in traffic, but the episode is redeemed by meeting a multi-talented audience member UMNIA and her singer/doctor mom! Improv, jazz and rap meet on this week’s Harmontown! Featuring Dan Harmon, Jeff Bryan Davis, Spencer Crittenden and Rob Schrab.

Transcript

typewriter
who wants Rob drop
who was Spencer Crittenden who wants to talk shakers Dan Harmon is late
here we go harmontown is now in session
Dan Hartman I hear that that’s fucking do this let’s find out what life is like without that fucking piece of shit man garbage oh shit Dan Harmon is so late how late is he didn’t harm is so late that we start the show without him working backstage about eating motherfuker I’m going to kick his ass I kind of feel like the show doesn’t even need them we don’t have to do is just as it has to be called harmontown
I say I saved an even here is out of a curtain and says he’s going to be here
the mayor of Dan harmontown is Dan Harmon
this motherfukers Lake
I’m late I’m late MC late not punctuality is my reality I’m going to be as late as I can almost certainly ain’t your mama Jennie’s couldn’t keep up with me if they suffered enough milk how I’m so late that your daddy dick couldn’t stand up to me if he had a hit and I’ll fuck your mama is so long she’s a crocodile how early how early can be put your mama’s so hard in Louisiana eat that much sense what’s your excuse for being late but I was at your mama’s house doing everything I could
predictable
my Uber driver told me I’ll be right there and then he had to dry his hair he’s just took me down to the 101 and then he turned around and said let’s have some fun with the 405 to the 308 Santosh it you going to be late like a sweater
all right
look I can’t people came in from all over the country at 7:25 from fucking Burbank
how late is too late that every clock hand goes around every time I lost your mama’s pussy a Spanish
alright walk at the Hermantown Federal
how many left what’s the shot clock on Hamilton’s how many more shows do we have if I guess this one
doesn’t matter all right let’s look at what are we all right
how does a cat and a bunch of football field
all right.
I’m against the Bangles
turn on cats on the football field
what are syllables sacrifice your duties
wheelchair for what you wish for guy what are the cat dude and what happened to the cat the cat walked
no nothing no reaction to the word walked you guys don’t have a funny reaction to the word walked the cat walked on a walk on it walked on come on react to walk in
the cat walked on the football field
tell us your cast so it’s America
oh great
let’s back it up why were you watching football in the first place you know I don’t think he was like what is in a bar these days except mirrors and TVs like there was a thing in there was a cat on the TV so you are in a bunch of cats like walking across the field and there’s like everyone’s cheering and there’s a black cat and I’m thinking like I don’t think that that cat lives in a football arena
it was very fat they were short like close-ups of the cat is like a double chin
I’m like okay I bet a football fan cuz we not respect the athletes they’re very superstitious people I get that when you push yourself to the physical limits like you’re going to be superstitious I don’t look down on that it if it’s if I honestly it’s you competing with God you’re going to be superstitious like you’re like I’m a linebacker there’s nothing between me there’s no commercial way to measure my ability to do if your socks you know famously like athletes they’re like oh I know I know I only wear these socks to be superstitious people lead singer actor is very sick so I would say like the odds are probably the opposing team I think that they might think that there was a stunt how does a black cat and up running under a football what is it fully black or did it have like no no totally what city was in where was the home stadium for the answer to that question
the Giants versus the Cowboys and the Giants Meadowlands River the fucked up to feel as loved as hell with any football player worth their Salt Lake if the game was worth anything again that if you were an opposing team you’d be like also that you think there be an arms race be like you know how we get these fuckers I heard the so-and-so on the opposing team is like really superstitious like you should step on a crack Stacy’s cat in a bag Let It Go with the quarterback under a ladder
I don’t think any fan gets into an arena with a cat in a bag I don’t think that any cat like lives in a football arena and then ends up in the field I believe that one of those teams Jersey you don’t think they’re used deep their football arena is more prone to have just like I don’t know like it was talking like here’s what I think you said the cat was fat it was fat how fat was he and that like if you’re watching it and you are a cat person or even an animal person your heart went like I heard I heard the fat raccoon cat I heard the cat was so fat that when it stands on a street corner the cops you’ll break it up
the cat the cat house cat
Rob Rob how fat was that cat I didn’t see the thing is they got so many there at like you can see it in the live Mama’s are like so excited cuz the cat was like running in the end zone is the sportscasters are doing their job that goes like double trouble back like you know they think the cats like running from the people that are trying to get it out of the field when I go that cats got a good quick change or whatever like
he came back out dressed as a clown and a sheriff coming back from commercial and they had all these instant replays of good things are going to slow mo footage of the chat Galloping it’s got a little of the saliva coming up in the lives which is not quite enough for you to go over to rabid cat but it’s just enough to take on a cat’s going under a great deal of stress like I just ate if the cat hadn’t been overweight I would have been like a fine it’s like a cat that’s like its Gates got two tone thing going on it would truly a fat cat sounds like you’re catching it had been imported into that Arena somebody got rid of that cat somebody brought that cat in there you looked at that cat Noir like that cat has a name that cat like loves Sarno, Road
it was sad somebody fucked Summit somebody brought that cat in there and let it on your body
that’s all I want to say do you think a fat cat is worse luck than a skinny cat don’t be a sports person
go home and play with your cat you love chat so much was it a delightful there’s a cat out there go home
stop tearing up I heard I heard I heard that cat was so fat
the cat was so fat that it’s cat food was made by Halliburton
Halliburton there’s no guest tonight folks this is
I wrote this down in my
Robin Roberts show the finale was last week and they got picked up for a second season and I’m hoping I can come back for another episode
that’s great
need a second season but I’m hoping I can come back
that is good second season series good
that cat was so fat that was he became like some sort of viral sensation because everyone loved it
do you think in the future as it I was at I was at this bar and it was like God damn he can I charge my phone getting below 20% I mean the red bartender yeah as in an Android no course not
civilized human being I cannot not ready to sling on my friend goes like it’s finally 19% you’re fine and then I was like this is like camping
it’s the new camping in the wilderness like for the 20% to a strip mall and you’ll have 20% battery and you’ll tell your kids like do you know what to do
20% battery and the kids will be like
Port near Lake you’re going to be the gender you were born and you can just do a live and learn to make a flashlight with only 20% of your battery
yeah cuz you got to decide how much candy you can Crush until you get back to the to the to the to the power will change as we evolved as a site hey I went camping the other day meet will it eventually mean I mean back in the day camping was just that’s where you lived
we graduated to like building a house outside our tent and they moved in when did we start calling at homelessness yeah yeah I’m good just your tent have to be before people are like at the house and then get mad at you like a few minutes got a square roof for the gutters in case it rains and then the rain goes up
you anti-jam per piece of shit you got to start building out of different materials like you can’t just build your new house out of straw but what if houses and houses become made out of lasers that just repeal everything then if you make your house out of bricks could will that be kind of doesn’t everybody make a brick with your 3D printer Nao make a house this is where we used to be a nature hoyohoy I don’t fucking but I go don’t forget your screen door then you get your badge for being a Navajo like like like they’ll it’ll it’ll all be downgraded okay thank you same page once in awhile
speaking of housing in tents and what have you got in your giant castle do you have furniture yet are you still sleeping on an air mattress it’s kind of like a air mattress that we get a mattress in a box spring we don’t have a bed frame and Mattress instead of Matt a matador yeah that’s the old days at the Oscar Matrix like shit that’s times up no more matadors you sleeping
oh boy looking good looking good looking real fucking good I plant I planned my estate today
looking really why does he wait to bring the flash why is that a reveal today like what the book told you to do last week should I give Jesse you did what to your estate a planned and I told that a state a motherfuker
show me the fucking plan you then I’m going to take you over to double suplex you you hurt me a state I’m coming to get you I’m Ricky the nature Man Who You Are
hey you stink you stink you can have me I’m going to have you I’m going to bequeath you I’m going to take it from the top rope
this is going to take you I’m going to come up from the break I’m going to bring you in half pay your state I’m going to plan you I’m going to put you in a trust I’m going to deduct exemptions what’s what’s the difference between like planning your estate and just having a well is that it’s the same thing the same using the will of will is kind of governmental like everybody has the right to have a will I’m not sure about wills like trust will they won’t they
I know it in terms of Egyptians like coding thank you trust for more shows left supersede Wills so your will like when you die by a court based thing so there’s there’s no need to fuck with a trust unless somebody like raising a Ruckus and goes like you know you see it being mostly like when what’s your name play me lady you know had a reality show what was your name correct and Nicole Smith like somebody’s like the older than the husband leaves everything to her but then the family will contest the will because it’s like open to be contested but if there’s a strong enough trust like there’s nothing can be contested trust sir like they’re more Ironclad they’re done with people that like fucking stamp the shit and it’s done and like no courts going to like overrule them so as long as
things in order so you know you we are we getting a piece of the action
if
I think one was only if Cody and I died in the same bus and don’t tell Rob that don’t tell Rob he’s going to write you a fucking bus but it is getting Cody and I die together but Rob has to deal with so much
traffic comes a trust the trustee he has to deal with so much prison reform in autism as they like you don’t even want to do it separate too much
thanks have fun with my money you fucken slob
as good as if you’re allowed to refuse to be like like Sylvester Stallone in Rhinestone Cowboy thank you just like that guy and she’s like yeah you can but then he has a right to refuse it but you could just like pick somebody else that’s my cue to be Jeremy Piven
I thought he might not refuse you could just like views your will and you can be like I want Jeremy Piven to like a book of like what you’re supposed to do is okay you can do anything I mean a trust is basically it’s like coding like you can program anything you want and it is it’s you’re not allowed to for instant tell people to do anything illegal you can’t obviously say I leave a million dollars to Rob but only if he kills Spencer
but then again you don’t just get the million dollars likely it is they’ll just say well you don’t get the million dollars but you don’t have to kill Spencer Spencer you go to jail like I can’t supersede the law but I can make you do stuff for money right I can spend 10 million dollars A Penny hours
it’s weird the other thing is weird is like the solving of exemption so there’s this thing called the estate tax and it’s like right now apparently courtesy of trump it’s like double what it was but just comical because what it was was like 6 million or 5 million dollars that’s like that’s the number that if that’s what you’re worth when you die none of your shit is taxed that you’re bequeathing but if now because of trump it’s doubled score one for rich people like what happened but like like so now it’s like a currently it’s like 11.4 million dollars if you die and you’re worth less than that you have to worry about 40% of your money getting taken if you die with 11.39 million dollars it’s all good man give it to whoever you want none of it stacked 11.4 million dollars
I don’t care I’m liberal I gave my money you have my money away when I go live who cares but you think about Cody right if I die I want Cody to be set up I don’t want Cody to find out almost half of all the shit like is gone is that so then they go like oh here’s how that works you put it in this box you put in that box so weird and almost seems like Senators like lawmakers they must like campaign and then get Poor People’s votes by going like then here’s another thing I’m going to make rich people
when they know they’re going to have to give him their money away and then everyone’s like that to me as you think of route for I’m never going to have that much money cuz I suck with people and then it’s cool I get that it makes sense the vote for that person that person gets a share and like the Congress and but the thing is then like it just like this whole system of lawyers and accountants and things underneath they’re like yeah but how are we really going to deal with that and the answer is the definition of this is actually create Revolution through anything good night Fox
I just found it but like I’m just like really like my this person was like cuz I’m panicking knapsack I got to make sure the Mike Mendel was healthier than me and I don’t even know what like I hope his house was in order but like my God if there was ever a sign it’s like you got to get your shit in order like make sure that tomorrow God forbid something happens to you like god dammit make sure everything don’t let your last thought be oh my God Cody’s going to get kicked out of her house and in so like you are just like and then you go in and you’re like learning about this whole Tron scape of like how your money gets divided it’s just creepy and weird I don’t understand your species I think we’re fucking dumb
I think we’re vile people I don’t think we ever do anything in good faith I think we’re kind of like shity animals that have been cursed with sentience
I think you’re around were shity animals that I mean that’s it that’s all that intelligence like there we go like we going hey how come dogs are so dumb. They know they’re going to die dummy like how much smarter are they if they know they’re going to know if we’re going to die maybe writing books
I think they’d certainly be worse at fetch I already brought you the ball but what’s in it for me I guess I’m going to fucking shit on myself
I heard heard about this Hawaii Spencer robbed that I rented a couple people today or over the last couple days if people have flown in from all over the country to tip the minor Prophet Jersey Warehouse
Texas
Jersey taxes Oklahoma
Florida Beowulf Malik Mariner State just yelling at your home
Montana deer having some side. This is electricity don’t be so do me a favor
Bozeman rock well done Australia Australia
get up get up here for the Australian this is Sara Lee
yay yay
alright what’s your name
don’t worry about it. You were very unmemorable welcome to America
there wasn’t this is insane like this podcast has been a part of my life since it started like it’s insane and I can’t hear my phone I’m sure it’s not by the way I heard the podcast last last I think the second one of the mics like the monitors are on their boats on I noticed and listening to it so you’re good and you seem very young so so far since childhood you’ve been following a podcast you like a harmontown baby
Community baby I was a fan of community around about when it started and then I became a sign of the podcast the moment it started and I got to see it when I was at net amount which was huge for me and then it’s kind of weird taking a little bit it’s awesome I go to sleep to this podcast every night like No Cap like Matt years for that dresses
fencing such a classic Carson brother
GetGo on I mean it’s like it’s it’s it’s like you guys if it’s a pair of social thing is like I know you guys even though I don’t know you guys like the fact that I came to the show last week because while we were here I saw it like cuz I came here specifically because I tried to make it so I go up to in just cuz that’s we can undo two weeks so I tried to get it so we came to do so I was there last week or this week and I’m so glad I got to Rob both times this is the best ya can all the way I get it I get it yeah
I asked you from one people like me
I left you all my money if Cody dies with all autistic people is it you’re just somebody on on a on a little holiday here so I had to get my final trip to Mecca and kind of thing but also flew from London button from Cambridge actually that’s fancy
it sounds like as you go to school there I you an operator and I could have gone do I give me a twenty-three-year-old European give me a give me a taste of that life are you a student loans or I just went into being like self-employed and make my own and stuff
but I mean I mean b a r n crisis of confidence right now so comfortable and I’m not quite sure if they are in for more right now the internet it seems like everything is going easier but actually everything especially cuz I didn’t go to UNI it’s gotten much hotter and it’s a twenty-two-year-old I’m right between the Millennials that have been dealt a hard kind of hand and Jen series who basic have no idea what they’re doing so what kind of kind of right right in the middle of that Linda what’s your what is your dream guy got to be a musician to IU singer you’ve to place to go to produce your music right music I do all of that they’re going to call you guys the the aerosol generation you got to be Diversified a mutual fund do you say scattered across
like it because you got to be guarded against the automation replacing anybody who used to joke when I was your age it was like obviously they’re never going to replace writers so we’re safe really not really it’s like that I don’t think so is going to be not well maybe the next next task is coming up behind you is making YouTube videos weather was so shooting the whole thing and they’re also sourcing the location and this was their own kind of outfits and makeup and hair and let the doing the whole production just to get a foot in the door and an outlet but like I maybe it just seems like this way to us you can correct me if if and I will as a European all about you a better wisdom but for us it seems like
you guys it was simple you kind of got your your thing like you did something that got a little bit of Buzz and then maybe go to Nature know you got someone that was going to kind of help you get in a couple more days and then it was just a progression with one thing gets better for us it feels like to get that one viral moment we had that one successful thing and it goes away for ten years again maybe that’s not as an armchair biologist I look at it as like a reversal of how biology develop where you have a capillary tissue arteries and things like you have channels that shoot you from point A to point B so then you have things like the privilege like oh you’re born white and you’re born in this neighborhood you’re born into the in this class has to me like it’s easier for you to shoot up to these Lake branching trees like I do you end up in the writers room you getting Garry Shandling sandwiches and you end up like
writer at things and that and that comparatively today what you have is more of a sponge it’s like so it’s like almost like because the way that that stuff involved was like you start with moss and Moss is like growing in a rock and it didn’t have they were selling sandwiches have no idea
it doesn’t that doesn’t matter that part doesn’t matter biology like if you if you if you fast forward from Moss to trees to human the key element is like this the increasing sophistication of channels by which your like delivering nutrients from the Earth to like these upper part if you go I got a hundred or more shows to go you guys only

if you go back or did you end up with just like the sponge shit on a rock and you’re you’re you’re reliant on just getting splashed with water I think that’s what Millennials and certainly gen Z years and Jen goobers or whatever, toilet
block everyone at everyone’s just like subscribe
and it’s like you can’t you have no recourse to individuality of no recourse to being like subversive like you be fucking checked in a second opinion not even just subversive opinion but like if you do anything that’s not going to get a wide audience does the corporations have succeeded in Reverse evolutionizing at the youth so that they’re in charge of the sea water and all the humanity is now Moss no one’s going to grow up above the skyline no one’s going to fucking make their own biosphere. She gets it right or glass it’s waiting it’s in all of its now kind of it’s not as connected anymore so it’s all just happening randomly and you were waiting for that rain.
the conference’s that go they summoned me to these things that used to before I got meet you at they be like Jen are going to come
cut you and Russell Simmons and Norman Lear and buckin Jay Leno come sit on this table in Miami and look back and talk about the future of media with the CEO of Heinz ketchup and Howie Mandel and
and I’d be like okay I’ll do that and then like your be this kid that have a cooking show on YouTube when he broke his table for the truth is I could have a million hits before what the reason is because your antenna is built out of ones and zeros my fucking Corporation and they’re going to pull the rug out from under the biggest the most democratic of the platforms is YouTube and it’s also because every 5 minutes something gets pulled over doing everything to this labor-intensive thing they don’t want any individual to have power they reward popularity for the same reason that we did in high school which is that it’s like this human impulse to go actually the least remarkable the most average do you knead the dough and like the most smooth fucking
remote caucasoid fucking average thing like who’s the least expensive don’t let anything shoot up and create a stalagmite don’t let anything actually affect the skyline myself having the same cynicism as people that are much older than me because I’m just kind of guy that sounds like the person that made that single last year but there will different people but they will kind of look the same and that’s probably me just kind of being a bit of a judgmental office but I do feel like it’s becoming homogeneous and you can unless you play that game it’s like you’ve got the people that really stand by and the rest is kind of just the soup I wish I had advice for kids your age I have this urge to see any kids your age like I’m like but I don’t think this is good advice but I have this urge to say to you guys like put your money into infrastructure digitally put your money into servers put your money into
bring your own antenna don’t rely on Google infinitely corporations that present you
well because because the truth is Mickey Mouse was supposed to be public domain a couple years ago and they fuck it don’t change the rules on you quick as can be
mattress I can’t tell you that people make mattresses like you told me to tell me how many matches have been like sorry but I what I want to say to you kids is like defy these don’t let these corporations trick you by virtue of their access they keep selling you kids to keep going like it’s the it’s this app is that app unlikely thing you can do whatever you want you can say whatever you want but you notice the Noose is tightening like Z they always maintain control they own everything that you do I don’t I don’t know what to tell you that because like for you to like invest your money in a fucking server that we have no money at all what if you’re exactly like
can I give you some advice. Plan your estate right now
well that’ll do you have you ever had a perfect you said so to try and catch the algorithm I did covers of other people songs they were fine because I didn’t monetize them but YouTube said you were spamming which I wasn’t it was just regular on like normal posting and they took away on monetization on my original videos as well as all the rest of it yeah anyway I’m like basically Obama I don’t make any money from my online stuff because
thanks Obama
can I change tag pretty quickly because it’s been in my head which should be for the whole of the show this is going to sound rude out-of-the-blue and I may be the only person thinking this might get to say this cuz I’m British and I’m black oh my God
a blood
as I may just be speaking for myself I think so too harsh on yourself when you’re talking about
no it’s fine
sounds like a vise grip of self-esteem like squeezing me right in the center about how moral you are or how like woke you are and I think sometimes you worry too much you are not on that side of the spectrum just cuz just cuz it’s fancy to say that every white guy is on that side of the spectrum like you are surprisingly woke for for your circumstances and we need people like that on the team
yeah I’m not I’m not I’m not I’m not secretly thinking to myself as I go home I’m Joe Rogan again everything productive
I think it’s only fair for me to say that Dan paid on the other come here for the next
to give her money to buy her server
that you think you’ll write a sentence
I think I mean again if you listen to everything that Obama said this week it makes sense in context he was saying like it doesn’t help to keep people out the team that mean well y’all mean well and so you’re part of a team and yeah every now and then we’re going to go okay that wasn’t great but it’s better that then. See you like is if you don’t have to do all of that sidelining all of the time it can be a group effort about the fact that like we need to definitely forgive the ignorant but I think that
I can’t even remember what the specific context was but at the time there was a situation where you were kind of worried that oh maybe I’m missing texture that you were worried that it’s all of these ignorant people are ignorant for the sake of being ignored then not answering because they actually want to learn we forgive all of them it’s there’s a very small line and distinction and I think because maybe I’m online a bit more I see it more that there are there’s a difference between forgiving everybody that’s ignorant as to giving those that are operating in good faith and so when you sympathize with the people operating in good faith and not on the team
I I totally agree with you in like I cuz I feel like that’s that’s the position that I’m in it like whatever I’m like I got sure I wish I wish that we weren’t so hard on each other because eat by each other I include like people who are like they don’t know if someone’s like five years off a Twitter they don’t know that they’re supposed to say this instead of that I find myself saying the same thing that a piece of shit might say however for the better reason which is like we can’t tear each other apart should you probably didn’t cuz you’re just as well here’s some advice you can give me a call I think because I feel as British and black
I guess I’ll wait not as a way to American can feel which is that I feel like
I’m going to be right back this is Blue Apron
Kinder I just feel like I do I am so and I I cop to this room like I do I am so unaccustomed to strife and confusion that I just like I’ve bailed and is that like I think you could speak to where you’re like you’re British and you’re black you’re a woman like I think if you could probably talk some sense into me cuz I’m like I have this is fucking hard when you’re getting it from all sides because I feel like if I advocate for hey everybody should be allowed to say whatever the fuck they want right it’s like I just I always feel caught in the middle of everything I would listen to you if your 46 they suck it up
I mean Festival anything that you’re feeling is valid cuz it’s 2019 anything or feeling is that
say is like
it’s down to kind of you have to start from a place of listen life how how will we even here and you don’t answer the phone for the circle thing is we’re on this planet and we’re only here for a certain amount of time so how we going to make this is good for everyone as we can how we going to make this present for a phone this weekend and how we can be so once you think of everything in that microsense this micros stuff contextualizes it like it’s happening and it’s coming from both sides it’s like really really intense take a step back and think of like the overall movement was trying to make sure you’re advocating for a thing that looks like long ago as podcast when I was going on to her I was like we need a code we need we need a simple algorithm that we can fall back on in any situation of conflict we go we will wait a minute alright I’m getting my tempers up my politics are getting in the way of my car stuff but like let me fall back
go for instance is there a human being hurt right now yeah that kind of thing that you need a code
the best set of policies have been put together for climate change is that it takes into account historical ways of taking care of the planet peoples that have been wronged like all of that stuff needs to be part of the conversation while we move forward like everything has to take in history everything has to take in people that hurt now people hurt in the past people hurt maybe even buy things in the future and I know what to do if you are doing things but I just feel like if you come from a place of like love for one another and also just kind of just acknowledging everybody and I think it’s tough to do when people are refusing to do the same thing it’s tough to say very kind of open heart and stuff to people but as long as you’re freezing from that on a macro scale when the Nazis come out you know that they are the Nazis
can we move together right and I and I mean I’m not sure how helpful. I know who you are you love your name being mentioned I know that’s very helpful you said you don’t know how awful it is it’s it’s incredibly helpful look you don’t know how lost I feel sometimes I struggle to is like Dan your 46 you don’t have to suck your thumb and act like I’m not allowed to be a baby anymore the seven spiring like Garrison Keillor 85 years old that go like I like I like I said I don’t know who Garrison Keillor is geology ask your parents
hopefully one of your parents is American I don’t know and then he got me to anyway it was like
historical wrongs like there is no I just don’t want to be that guy I don’t I I started this podcast from the standpoint of like the joy of going I’m the baby I’m crying out and the world has shifted under my feet like it’s not it’s not right and it’s not charismatic to be the baby that I was five years and that is a credit to the world that we live in an absolute credit do you think that that’s part of the reason why this is going away when you when you said I want to go trying to be me I don’t find that doesn’t matter whether it’s right or wrong objectively I don’t feel right doing it anymore I don’t like it it doesn’t doesn’t come out of my throat with the same beautiful Hershey’s syrupy sweetness
so aside from going while away a kind of is this truck going down the aisle in my mind right on Boulders assortlist over there
I I I I I
I think there’s a million versions I just you know I need to hit the bench and think about it. The show is going to go longer than a couple weeks the fact that I just wouldn’t die and went on for what happened how many years is now seven here but nothing has to last forever and it’s like cuz I got it that way whenever it becomes afterwards with his cousins
the population of printers do everything I also already have no one listens to it but I have not you I just review like movie stuff and TV stuff and I’m about to cover I went to London film festival and what’s a bunch of movies in advance and I want to put that you got your little music thing over there and we got beats up there can you can you do some of your music and maybe Dan like as into it look at it and then we’ll put that shit on if I can get it too but I know if I can boost that shit like crazy the brake like a YouTube channel that you want to do it’s just my name um and I am near
yeah um and Isaiah
okay that’s my mom
her mom mom mom mom mom mom
right now I am in living right now.
happening this is why everyone trip Pro Football Hall of Fame by American and shakers like Mom shut up and it’s like a goddamn with my mom was James Bond
I like playing with it my mommy I would have none
she doesn’t need to be my voice carry
that what doesn’t work it does now.
Listen to this on Spotify and it’s going to be me and my mom on it on Spotify 2018 British Spotify into it by with a u
yeah it does it just go Pub in the UK so I can
someone did
yeah people call her Monday and that’s crazy I amazingly gifted
pretty sure it feels like you just came from three different shows
how can you tell Don I’m blessed with two amazing girls only as my eldest she’s a musician and actress and she’s insanely talented and the song that I showed you that she has a few that are amazing but that that particular one is really good so no I said that mean
the most amazing jazz singer and it’s where I get it from this is complicated I thought I’d love to say it’s a gift I would just say it’s a thing and it’s always been nothing but you’ve never been so busy that you just
my day job.
they said she has to like chisel it open and it’s like so I could have been a jazz musician but I had to be a doctor in the space jacket
did your musical like a chip off her block what was the music that Amir grew up around like what did you play
Let me like three letters can you imagine if they needed to like nobody was going to go to sleep on your side he was six would be in the car with the babies in there and there’s two receipts and would be blaring print coming down the highway
that got it. Really frisky stuff you don’t understand when you’re four months old windows would be down sunroof down or we just fly on instead of the little country roads in Cambridge trying to get a baby to sleep with Prince on it when I got cigarettes. Thank you thank you I just I just
anytime we have a date but I love him yes I asked if you is or is you ain’t my baby and relax Max.
Are you acting lately makes me to listen might my memories roasting pan is a creature that has always been strange just spaniel short of one you’ll find he’s going to make a change my baby
don’t want girl babies coming out
everybody’s baby only three shows left everybody a confidence problem this year near you you do not strike me as and I’m confident person is I will see you look like Elsa to you
identical looking from where I’m sitting is so beautiful the same like mother is not as beautiful if you have like a vehicle.
And I Grew Older and replace the mic with a drink.
All right it’s not going to be okay but the Acoustics are in the other thing
yeah yeah yeah yeah
yes I don’t even use the water I just sang in them together like dude I’m at the house because we broke our trust is a family so we tend to finish off each other’s sentences and we checked it
I don’t, so somebody will come to the room
sing a phrase and we’ll just pick it up and available or what your favorite what’s your favorite Prince song well it depends was I want to see it or whether I want to hear thunder is one of my favorite I love Diamonds and Pearls you know that then don’t go trying to make the show Great by you singing
slicing summer time for you then
I’m sorry we’re just out of time
is there
Allah hoo hoo I went which version
Pearl Bailey
Terrebonne Indiana
I don’t know what you’re doing at all are you
Anna and I don’t want to get choked out
summertime and the Livin is easy Jim fishes jumping
and incontinence
your daddy he’s rich and your mama is good looking so hot little baby don’t you
cry one of these mornings
and you’re going to spread your weight and your kind of crazy
pill that morning
I’m so sorry for my audience I’m sorry
set up the white people, no one in three of their trucks the whole thing
one of these mornings
wake up smiling and guide you in the sky at morning
nothing can harm you with Mommy and Daddy
how happy does it make you
does Mom like like I kind of like I don’t I don’t have this kind of relationship with the guy don’t get this is Mom. Mom do you think you kind of berry your I mean your what are you are you a PhD hear you I’m an MD eye doctor in Connecticut
Sarah said it first
when do you become an MD you become a doctor which is like a clinician doctor and then if you want to do some extra research whether you are already an MD or whether you’re anyone else who does to have extra super research then you become a PhD don’t deduct it if you do a PhD and an MD then you’re a double doctor that you what’s the relationship between you and your daughter and singing and how does that singing doctor though she has a big doctor bag and she had this hat that used to come out soon as I should like Ruffin married. Are you is your mom like a person that went through a lot of hardship and you’re like a man if singing was a thing that could support a family that God damn it I do it but actually I think I’ll use use my brain and I got a raise my daughter up and then your jaw
water has a proclivity for that and you’re like go girl go and but she’s looking at you and going why didn’t you go girl go and you’re like I couldn’t go girl go
in a way you kind of read me but but but not a hundred percent so so my family my father was also a doctor but very traditional so this idea of doing anything but medicine was like oh no and I’m so even though my mother was Musical and I was musical there was no way that was going to happen what it did because you know when you’re a teenager you don’t listen to anybody and so so it did and I even did after I graduated but they want ever part of that part of me and so when this little one at the age of three months was literally making my saying so I’d be vacuuming around her cut and she’d be singing she’d be singing what should be humming what I was singing on my husband would say you’re just an indulgent mom and I do know the child is singing her and so that happened from the age of kind of three months on woods and so when she
said that was what I want to do I said you go girl how old was Aaliyah when you guys can harmonize together like it was something that she had to learn or is that literally turned out one day so I’d be singing and suddenly I had this incredible how I’m going to come on it said of response and she’s been like that ever since and I think I developed it later so as I said Jazz it was when I said of hit my mid-forties that I could rip or I could improvise this child has been doing it since she was pretty much vocal harmonizer jail
Jeff I give me a note all harmonize with it
and this is

she’s got it I mean it’s really no big deal either way from your relationship but honestly Harmony Define innate challenge
I’ve never understood Harmony for real though I’ve never gotten that late like the idea of harmonizing I don’t get that there’s 8135 I got one
hi Sarah and let me know I’ll do it note Sarah add a note normally I don’t know in advance for me yes I’d be honored
Tim Tim Tim Turner that that made it seem like you used to
yeah
Stratford Spencer and go all the way through the whole state or from station
I’m sorry I can do it for real that but we’re going to harmonize
then it’ll be easier to hold the note if you don’t if you seen your name it’s easier to hold the note
I’m doing a bad job
shit that’s it and it’s not some kind of nebulous thing it’s like oh I know that oh my God how many are they
he said everybody can sing but people have been talked out of singing at a young age that you should not sing or your grandma’s birthday everybody can whistle happy birthday everybody can do it and you’ve been talked out of singing and talked out of the fact that we can all share it to noon and I think that’s so cool family like my mother thought she couldn’t sing my dad was just too stomach and didn’t really sing but like they put me in the theater and stuff like that so that was always around like musical people but when they would leave the house I would put on Duke Ellington records and Sinatra and Gershwin and Nat King Cole and I would just like to know all that stuff and
hi Jeff because it’s important to answer
it’s important that we open in three nights
hey hey hey night I did I did to rubbed right now but I’m interrupting
put the microphone going down
it’s 45�� Spencer sure that’s not an easy one vowel sounds a little difficult or dance but no one could do both
and I think that’s true I think that bears out
which one she could sing dancing Ballroom Ballroom experiment this might be a total disaster I want to start Hugo Hugo okay
okay Sarah every sarah sarah sarah sarah Sarah
I like a splinter out of a sexy pics on top of that I think I think it is positive we all can move to a beat no matter how militant efficiently maybe I think we can all sing together that’s being on a sack everybody music
yo
yeah yeah Spencer and I’m here to say I’d like to wrap all day and also all day
like to wrap all day and then stay until the beat expires then I’ll defeat the wrap itself and then I’ll put the wrap up on a shelf it’s predicted Rhymes but these are predictable times these times are predictable fuck your mama cuz your pussy’s feel like to but I want to eat it though I put it in a bowl to Pina time I take a spoon and scoop it in my mouth can I do it in the North in the east in the shop at your mama’s pussy with my lips ticket from Europe to the US put it up to my mama’s breast
rub it on my mom has to rub it on the hundred cities New York to London Town everybody’s going to fucking Pennywise clown down here motherfuker my name is Zachary
my name is
PJ masks
let me tell you a little story about me my name is Professor Alexander P I live in the bottom of a urinal
go down where are you now
that’s good that’s good that’s enough of that song that’s how we needed as a jacket God damn I know I love you and the Apollo missions to the Moon
so you noticed me huh good
my mom is a kind of person she goes out with a regular cold and comes back to the sound at the shop like this it was just like this great kind of cording to me and I’m like to know she has posed like this and like that you have a like a geometric dress that has like corn is in it and it’s just like you just come back to the craziest thing you know what she said to me and that you waiting to come in
you look like a Barbie girl
oh no that would have been so cool next to his mom you look just like a jacket potato all wrapped up in foil
and I was like you look lovely. I look like a potato I don’t like the fact that I like I’d wrapped wrong and they didn’t get a chance to leave me no other route that free only one of your like one of your own songs on top of the beat or is it have to be specific to their like watching my name of my rap which will be purely to set you guys up and I’m going to take a quick look like I’m playing this magnificent I’m going to spit less fire than I usually would show that it frames you guys I’m going to lay in a relatively unremarkable rap framework around you guys are scaffolding
yeah yeah my name is crappy rap I like to be in your lap but like to lay my head down of both of your thighs I like to put my ears up into the skies there are two Skies into clouds do the wraps too loud I’m going to turn it down and let the people take over fuck your mama roller over in the Clover
oh no
call Helen
that sounds pretty good. My name is Mister pants I like to sing and dance I went to your house and I shrunk down to the size of a mouse I looked through your underwear drawer I saw your privacy and more I look through your post card so I your dad or the daddy used to have
3 * 10
knock knock on the door I’m a lawyer and I’m looking for is there a faster pants here
Spencer deliver you a subpoena I heard that you called my mama and you took out your weiner I want to find out if you’re bad I want to take you to court making face up with my dad I have to go down but now you’re going to have to harmonize
I guess I missed a pair of scissors representation
as amazing
you see I don’t care providers I don’t ever let his very well and she was like no spring in my ear that time in my life where I step back let the young ones shine and I’m 67 I’m older pediatrician I’m also an adolescent position so I see kids from like busted like 23 and that’s cowardly and won’t come into this rap hit it
oh shit cuz you don’t give a shit
no, my name is candy wrapper this world may never set a trap
I’ll come and get you and I don’t think that you’re singing can even Hackett you can deal with my rapping skills affect your mama so hard in the Hills
turn down Harmon how dare you speak to me that way.
The Raptor Raptor
birds that you can sing as I’m going to do it instead it’s another thing
I was going to say
I was going to say that I’m going to give up and then I heard myself that’s crap
whether you want to or not you got to go to talk back cuz I don’t know how to write or I don’t know I mean I mean what does it take to get you to say oh no
play a time my lonely days are over
and my love is like a song My Love is Like a song
or something
how about you
then just got junk
well then that’s not jealous
and it still isn’t your mama may have and she does
alright leap years to perfect harmontown amount of free the musician and you thank you thank you can I can I just say it’s a shame I didn’t mean like an enormous shame that this is ending I’m
hoping that you do lots of other things because when we first really got to know about you. It was with Community actually my kids came and said he’s going to come and watch this Mom because it’s so better it’s got all these different levels of psychic thinking and and this man is insanely brilliant and its layers upon layers and it’s the most intelligent thing and they were right and then and then we watch this crazy episodes and then you did one with stop motion and then you did one with different timelines and you just go whose brain is this
stupid but I think what I think I think zero Emmys has more about them than you because right right he wasn’t even on the show I’m protest I was at season and my girls out of an ounce of protest that you really did they refuse to watch it and so I think I think the day I think that it’s it’s if people like you exist and the way that you write exist you’ve got to be out there doing a lot more
yeah you got to
alright I would tell her you might not be familiar with his morning workout so I say what does the somebody I know quite a bit about about what else is going on but you have no he she needs to be doing more in California that’s true yes I think so
play Jeff I didn’t know that when my bucket this was hearing you sing with my mom like Anyway this is going to wake up in 5 minutes and then singing with strangers are people I just met likes to sing along more than anything or I don’t know no no no no no no thank you thank you but no thanks
Andalusia the news they see that will be nice to you know the melody to that I don’t know if you know the time and the Livin is easy when you making me jelly playing is really falling apart Jeff
I was I was supposed to work this Spencer ice cream
oh man what a nice time
so let’s make a record I thought would be awesome but let’s say that we leave on Saturday so I can polish it together no no no no no no no Sunday School
no no no no no no no no no let down by him as a British perspective on Kanye Kanye is basically the black perspective we love you during Katrina
how can you not when you get the power to build your own geodesic domes myself become a Ralph bakshi cartoon yeah yeah I’m That Kind of your good friends I thought that was like he came to the Rick and Morty made an episode together is that a secret
I know I do do do do two and a half hours I found him to be truly like I keep putting in the garbage
we didn’t talk about that play Kanye, cuz it kind of has like I had this hoodie and he’s like the hoodies the most important article of clothing in the history of America or whatever by a hoodie rich people want a hoodie whatever that was his thing and then he was like he had this big thick hoodie on and then he gets robbed and he’s like what’s the deal is not the city like the sweatshirt that he and Kanye put it on and was like see what the fuck is H&M and he was like an hour later
it was in the garbage
Kanye West Through Rob hoodie in the fucking play I’ll be the first to tell you like Kanye West has a is an intelligent guy with a huge like like what he’s capable of having a sense of humor about himself a bunch about the only reason I don’t feel happy but curious cuz I haven’t talked to, what the hell’s going on and I never will cuz I’m a plus super charismatic and like there’s absolutely nobody that’s good at like any everything you’ve seen about him is curated and if you were the wrong hoodie that’s in the fucking trash can
Robin Hood he’s in the trash can and Kanye was like
he didn’t he didn’t own it like have somebody else or he actually didn’t even closing to me Hootie in the garbage and he was like man I look I look built in this Lake Pickett straps when he was smaller but then it disappeared after a while and it was just gone and then we were like when it’s in the garbage other like Kanye did you throw Rob’s hoodie in the garbage
if he had done it as a joke he would have been like haha he was like huh play on top of the world where he was like he actually what he was realizing my mom was like yeah I probably did actually I I shouldn’t have what do you mind him being on the phone while you ask them that receipt was he ordering schrauben new Kanye West no Contrition no acknowledgment of the crime he was kind of like like we’re like Kanye did you throw Rob traps hoodie in the garbage can with all of the garbage and he was like putting all his Entourage these cool dudes with him like I will also say that like Kanye’s got like fucking cool dudes around him like how cool
yeah you really cool dude you like hate have been hanging out with him forever like super cool dudes like and then like one dude one dude who’s scared the shit out of me that’s the security like this crazy white dude in fucking can like like like a pair of military gear like I didn’t notice until I went to the bathroom at the Raiders room and then I was like and the guy was like, just to make sure I meant to say he has two jobs one is Kanye hands off a hoodie his job is shut the perimeter of the writers room like his head duct in and he was like looking around he’s like what what’s going on what’s this room that Kanye is going into and then he fucking stupid post outside the writers room
and he was out there I went to pee and I made the huge mistake of like I was like I came back from peeing and I was like I made some joke or something like thanks for letting me pee like a stupid and he just appeared Ruby like a terminator and I was like it he will kill me like if I make the slightest wrong move his job is to keep anyone from getting in this room and killing kind of bosses a motherfuking Monster, song
can I can I poke holes in his logic is his idea is that a hoodie is good for everybody and that even the people who can afford very good I truly think we would be in his mind he said he was throwing a nice taper can I can I see Kanye’s some meaningless benefits of meaningless hoodie with a little too small for him you felt a little flexed up and he goes you know what
I didn’t take a shower today or I put on too much cologne today I can’t give this back to him he’s going to like like he like the back of my love describe like Kanye was fixing Ventra
Aggie love trap and it was like I was better than the other one I sent you money when I won’t let people talk shit about him either The Aviator and like me to me to show me all the blueprints
I want to have security cameras at the Rick and Morty writers room I want to know exactly what happened to Rob’s honey I want to know who the picture
mystery mystery like a Game Kanye would be here any good yeah it’s Rob’s hoodie in the garbage because it was it was because he didn’t want anymore that was his whole point is that he had a privileged to be able to just work on your impulses this is going to marry at the gym Kardashian ages Indian Point like the US press is like been totally that they never like like they never said like Kanye my fucking billionaire like they never fell celebrate a Kardashian before him like it is you know some people didn’t like I think this bent towards like republicanism is a bit weird because he was like George Bush doesn’t care about black people
all the black people
what kind of home is going to the point where I just don’t pay attention to what he does because I’m confused but you don’t want it you don’t put your eggs in that basket and you shouldn’t I’ve got a friend who knows what he is like cookie and does weird stuff but he loves his music and he’s like the new records really good for you go like whatever you say is Bucking and do whatever you say no matter how many platinum albums
let that rock that are white people that have done really great things you’ve done stuff that I don’t agree with that I still doing kind of support
well, if you’re going to make it this music industry you going to have to drop some of that sucking integrity
can we please give it a try maybe my favorite guest of all time
a company on
does the pet safe travels back across the pond
Robert Rob everybody
and you can check it out you can find on YouTube I’m going to be quiet
Zach McKeever of the music Church on the photos no one on the everything’s anybody here at the night of the typewriter IMA are not $900 maybe one day I will be call me call me 7 p.m.
one more time
but y’all
that girl should be some dress pants is that cancerous yo
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