Episode
Episode: 3 – If They Have Cubs, We’re Already Dead (7.23.12)
Description
An unusually quiet night in Harmontown gives way to eruptions of arm wrestling, wolf hunting, dungeon mastering and child abuse.
Transcript
good evening Uptown comics in Hollywood California
hear ye hear ye harmontown is now in session
for your outcome is your light and abject entertain the police log
the mayor of harmontown Mr Dan Harmon
thank you very much
I think you I think you I’d like to take Jeff Davis for comptroller again tonight thank you Jeff
all of you who would hear and listen to it and Darren McGavin
she did all right
she had her moments it was adorable was it different I saw recently on Apple TV
the gray was on with Liam Neeson has seen this movie
take me to 10 people he spends the rest of the movie with like nine guys that slowly get picked off one by one by these wolves that are around being a wolf Hunter and then your thank God or he would have been like I don’t know about wolves
I just ever talking like Liam Neeson about wolves like the last two weeks
the killing machines
how do you say the Cubs are we within a hundred and fifty of them questions I’ve not seen the movie.
We’re surrounded by biological killing machines
but go ahead if you’re a wolf Hunter how come everybody keeps dying
shouldn’t you be the result that the Right Moves of the Hunter’s moon for 5 billion more years than I’ve got a mouth full of weapons they’ve got six legs
the whole movie take place in the Arctic or somewhere cold they are cuz I know from the trailer that he glues glass to his fist and faces off with would probably the last one I didn’t bother to the trailer I just watched like an hour and a half of him telling everyone they’re fucked nothing I say matters in the bay in the First Act
fuck is it that movie more than anything more Scorsese film
there is no fucken salt
we’re in a student at Frozen sea surrounded by Killers
I don’t want to see the movie the movie doesn’t matter
you think these things give a fuck what you watch on the screen they just want to eat your face
we can see you 300% for other than you can see them there eyes are like microscopes and telescopes
their noses are sharper than their teeth
who would win in a fight a bear or a wolf Jones fights of the question
wolf versus bear not wolves
sorry I got I got a jump the gun but I think it’s pretty good at starting
it’s pretty early in the night for the audience to be sarcastic
go to your hair last week I really I bet none of you were here last week cuz I went headlong Inception throat
like an angry wolf and you could steal the the rift between me and the flock that just people I was listening to the podcast version of your hatred
just just just watch you at home that are listening on the podcast you won’t be able to participate in this but just focus on them is a plan that we have to form a colony cuz I think we ought to be Dyer about this we don’t feel like the world is ending
terribly soon it’s not a huge emergency but I it takes a long time to start this city of of of people who can carry Humanity’s torch so what we want to try to do probably on the moon I keep thinking it’s got to be on the moon cuz I just don’t know there’s no place in Texas it’s going to let us do this sir I don’t want to go anywhere with his like mosquitoes
don’t groan it I mean grounds the government we have to talk about religion we have to talk about politics we have to talk about what we would do with our are unseemly citizen people hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss go in a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually I want to do that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through the New Black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker at myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest filmed
I’d like ever you’re always in good hands adventures in Blacksburg, what Desmond Thorne executive produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platform
like you used to do something that nobody likes
he said to talk about
I’m just going to fuck you
don’t ever do anything here that you feel compelled to do that’s bad governing you didn’t like the new Batman I haven’t heard anything
it was silly silly
facility says we should give this kind of what’s your name Max you don’t see it and the ones who did probably blocked it out remember the Tommy Lee Jones Two-Face
I was explaining this to my 27 year old girlfriend today it was like explaining like like like Korea or South is it hanging out laughing directly watching the second Batman is everybody agrees is like it’s a pretty nice it’s like Korea and North and South
38th parallel
the character of Two-Face was actually a trenchant commentary on the Korean conflict
I don’t remember I think it was the Danny DeVito as the penguin one I think was the origin of Two-Face and the form of a newsreel and a jar of acid from his pocket of his double-breasted suit coat pocket and he is a visual thing I’ll do what he did visually first base
and that’s how he became Two-Face
and he has a contentious relationship with Batman as Aaron eckhart’s toothpaste does with Christian Bale’s up and the answer is I was sitting there in the courtroom and I just couldn’t get over the galley the gallery thing
ridiculous you to have to show Batman like taking a shit too
to ruin the mythology more for nerds like we just I just sat there in the theater and looked at a job and travel Academy and me we just started making out somewhere in our heart we want a guy out there that’s like Rich which represents the fact that America is it does work it’s okay to be capitalist but you know we need a hero on YouTube from Meet the S who uses his god-like powers to you know who uphold our value system where we were very happy
taken seriously enough
okay
you know what Liam Neeson would say about Batman
doesn’t matter
I’m determined that Liam Neeson pays off at some point tonight I probably will there’s no payoff
you’re not going to get the car tonight I’m going to blame them
I buy blame them I don’t know what they did wrong I don’t know what you guys date kind of feel like I’m leaving town for one week in the continuity on the ship with a couple pictures of each other
they bring other couples up and ruin this movie Smurfs and the great Greek having Greek food in there fighting about the nonprofit We have 40 minutes penetrable place to be sitting across the table from them and then I’m justifying exit and I have a new Zone with a guy named Niko’s and I come back and they’re still talking about the improv group Home Depot’s that person say is this better or worse than being alone
and then they pause for 8 and 1/2 seconds as I leave and have it at a 2-0 with me, so that I come back at you guys look so happy, to have the worst sex of your lives if your qualification for that
Cass cuz there was like there was a thermal needed to be very self-revelatory and then what happened
it was a really revelatory that she’s dating me myself with with with red hair I’m just like we don’t balance each other out we just sink every boat that we step onto
his way we just go straight to the ass whole section of it which is only one seat there we sit on each other we are just as good as we Stern you don’t call the stern of the boat the assholes
meet me at the finish line
when I’m alone I’m not a lot I don’t know that I exist when I’m alone of black CGI insect eating my 10 from under my skin I feel like something wrong is happening like I don’t that’s what I’m feeling anything I just don’t feel like I exist with a brain on it and like two little legs to walking around and then make people listen to my bullshit I I can’t if I’m just walking around an empty house talk to yourself earlier. I haven’t had enough experience with it but no something like
bathtub is not working and I just shoot up my ass off I don’t know where did I put that
can’t find it freaking freaking freaking
I don’t get it I don’t get it either but I know what I like I like a good woman
now we we love each other now we’re going to get a big fight about everything I say when I
for those of you listening in podcast land she’s in a row two seat s River in our waste everyone’s time possibly think to say to make you not get mad at me and threw a rock at me so is scrambling to get rocks not thrown at me I sometimes will say something that in the drive home like Aaron about you like raspberries huh
it just seemed like a fun of your word to use I was a lot of raspberries
ever so far
what you talked about that energy has to answer your questions I can answer questions that you raise your hand and Shout out for one of you to show sucks tonight since that’s in the air
we have a core of arm wrestling arm wrestling
all right
what is your name sir BJ glad you can take time out of your busy swashbuckling career
are we going to heckle
it doesn’t deserve that because I’m listening to podcast form
a guy came up to arm wrestle that is already a better show it just
what he woke up this morning than anything that I guess I have to do the first kind of kind of like a Louis Vuitton kind of thing is going to gold chain
he has a shirt that says a wicked Lotto last night which I guess you’re from Boston Comedy Festival I would imagine from the rocks and I’m not fucking joking podcast
I’m really going to throw a fucking wretched mistake he’s put his left hand up on the stool
taking time out of this by yet to describe is turquoise a pit stop for a worthy cause. When I take my hand off I want you to begin the first person to put somebody over the edge okay let’s make it for fifty bucks
he’s going to stay on his purpose that he’s thinking I can’t win because
is it going to fucking Violet Violet Violet he looks like finishing BJ
they’re cheering over nothing there still Lots right of the top
Jeffrey
Victorian England
we were together I propose we work together
very Noble of you BJ
very Noble of you
I guess on the mood I’m in town just gave me a bunch of pussies
we can attack my mares was going to go fucking do you guys want whatever you want
Jimmy John’s
Jen Titus he was never here
imagine that
grounded
That’s How we’ll settle just be easier on the moon cuz it’s one 6 the gravity have been like anybody that ever arm wrestled I was always like everyone in a harmontown town meeting is all of the people who couldn’t do
thanks and nnn Bruise that you don’t need to like it should say in Latin on the flag is our gym teacher was wrong
people die of heart attacks every day some of them were good at football some of them weren’t like that it has no bearing on lifespan and tax bracket we were doing back then did just make everyone uncomfortable and kill time they should have they should have they should have let us play Dungeons & Dragons more I don’t need to bait you guys that’s a little winded by that experience
most embarrassing thing in the world
what was my face look like the one that I play it is your favorite what is Jim night blade and I was always partial to the throwing knife type the Theif for the Assassin does you describe to me your dungeon Master’s you have a good one yes Graham was the name of the greatest edgemaster that ever lived here because he was just insanely like smart and an unlucky Graham Graham had hair down to his shoulders he never washed it and this was before Weezer so it mattered
they had these big steak Brown frame glasses and in his keys from different state parks Adventure nature fix a shower I think he’s like his dad maybe just like flew the coop Glenda and like I can get pictured him out there like climbing mountains and sandals or something and he kind of like he had this will find them I would say Montana or or the end of the next one would be a lie would just say Alaska and there’d be two owls and a branch that’s where all his t-shirts but they are all had permanent sweat stains in the armpit and the kids in school with just their four-year High School experience was just created with his mind and and how to add an a whole a whole birth is a human being courtesy of Grandpa for the rest of the ways to trick someone into raising their arms so they could laugh at his
where are the where are the lights
when is that going to get tired but he he carried a woman’s briefcase everywhere he went because it didn’t
specialized Spock from Star Trek like he really is as a lot of like super nerds do like they latch on to Spa core data their younger cuz it’s like logic instead of like all these trappings like all the shit that makes no sense so I can you dribble a basketball and why are you this idea that you’re just pure brain and that’s what it that’s a gram was an end of head he could have gotten a man’s briefcase if he had wanted to
logical why would he buy a man’s briefcase to appease like some kind of weird to just walk around so it was in the briefcase Dungeons & Dragons equipment
and all of his perfect homework assignments that he probably did on the bus with his with his mind and Laser pencil them in the back of a pickup truck
add a garbage bag and we just maybe he was a dentist we just we just we just all night
out of a big giant plastic bag and talked about science and then he left again he was like I don’t have that beard but strangely arrogant about it you have to like you to be so proud of of of like how like a smart and logical you are a terrible terrible but not not not arrogant enough just I don’t know maybe I smoke too much pot in my life or something I don’t know what it is I’m not good at it I think about me that’s what it is you can’t be a good dungeon master if you’re worried about doing a good job
anybody else have another question so that when you walk out of here. I was at the shity harmontown I was at the one where it’s like a pedophile tried to attack Dan
nnnnn they wrestled each other to the ground and then is he took out the pedophiles Mast and it was Jesus
Paramount and shoot up over the BJ waving okay
anybody on underage child
the racing thing you’ve done as a kid has a constantly shifting my pants is constantly on a medical condition if I just I would I would I just I didn’t like to go to the bathroom
I don’t know I’m not going to try to put this off on you guys.
But you’re also learning to read
reading a book on the floor I get up I’m not going to go if I want to finish reading iRobot it’s amazing when you read didn’t get that part I didn’t understand that I just would ship my pants you’re saying you were that into that book or your dad that lazy or when you’re acting like a acting like they never heard of anyone
old people
little people do you remember that we have Adam come up and read that email for my brother remember that you referred to the story that my mom told me that closet when I was a kid and she was with books as a reference to when I was in kindergarten today in the seventies I didn’t it was a politically incorrect like track kids and stuff everywhere they wanted to know who’s smarter who’s dumb how smart are you about how how how smart can you be in all the stuff we later realized it’s kind of a thing to do but back then in the seventies it was the Wild West everyone was looking for Meteor Man
this lady Miss Kiana would come and she would chew to get me all the kids and start playing with blocks and stuff and then this beautiful woman I’d ever seen and I was to be tossed out as you would take me to this class it was like a storage closet filled with all these books in like overhead projectors and stuff about resources to that they would just sit in front of me and she go read this chapter than answer the questions at the end of it give me a piece of paper from the rest of the kids the count Count of Monte Cristo in there it was great cuz I would come back to recess maybe like
it’s it’s our hero it’s the please please do we were just learning football as catch you up on things I know it was complaining to read a lot of dumb shit about that nothing I can remember
because I had to pee really bad but I was in kindergarten I’ve never gone pee without somebody helping me go pee before you go to lunch and for some reason I knew what that meant that I would be able to get up out of the chair and go to lunch but she never came back and I had to pee really bad and I couldn’t tell time so I just need to get up and go to lunch and then maybe I could get someone to help me pee I just stared at the clock and you little you little bladder another funny dragons yet you know
parties are at 8
I just stared at this mysterious circular dial and pissed myself
I got the same for women but once you start you can’t you can’t just it’s not like I went to pop overalls with a little iron on D on the front of them for real which I called I called my Jeep and my mom said I could leave so I just getting up I just looking back at this chair in the middle of a storage closet with a big puddle of piss around it
clean up your mess
because it was in my pants
I thought that the semantics of pee in your pants somehow applied to the to the privacy and the containment I didn’t understand yet that he is and it looks like I just rode a horse made of spray paint do you know my little red denim pants and I just have a black Saddle Brook whatever you call that brother was down there my brother’s like my I came down to that lunch slider my brother let him be like Jesus Christ did you piss your fucking pants
and all the 6th graders are like holy city did they are actually more embarrassed for me than my brother my brother wanted to just talk it out a little more
theater at the price is right when the woman Peter Pan in the show before have we not damn it was so good I went to go see Drew is a good drink and it’s pretty exciting if it was ever been to the taping of it it’s really delightful God damn it I love that fucker got $25
you have the same key
goodnight ladies mom jeans and a blouse and she comes up and she left there from the very beginning and from the get-go she is losing her mind but she’s also holding her crotch in the pee pee dance for passion
her pussy looks like a like a like a like a little baby when you try to think that that can stop the flow and it can’t but you do your mind over matter she’s on the washer and dryer on the pool table and I got a commercial she still there and front and back so one around the front and the back she’s worried that it’s like that it’s
the best game in in in The Price is Right universe is of course Panko and when you comes out it’s like when people go mad and she and she comes up on stage with curtains and at that moment when she
I could see the little saddle of the spray paint horse TV staying on the things she had wet herself and she was still holding on to her so she could let a little go and the whole Racing 2 Marines and the crew can’t see it the whole audience can see that you’ve pissed yourself a little bit then the curtain goes up
she’s now she’s been she’s like she’s just doesn’t care that you’re jumping about like you’re like like you’re on camera and your family and she becomes everybody’s hero
and
five little chips right you going to get one for free and then you can forbid prices and things like that and she gets them all she has nails and only at that moment cuz she Drew Carey has to follow her up the staircase
go to ascend the heights of the plank of some other free song in the air
Kristen and clear-headed and she doesn’t have anything left to care about
beginning prices right they all realize what’s going on and run off the stage and we just don’t want to see something terrible happen so she gets up on stage and she be playing cuz dick all around the fucking around 10,000 10,000 to the second most money in history going on
he was absolutely eye level with her pants
and if it was just a new pair of pants walking showcase showdown and the entire building was chanting her name
and I wish I
Matthew for peeing your pants and not caring that’s none of us would do it what is your advice rights of an audience member for screenwriters looking to get into writing for TV obviously I’m the last person you should be asking that’s not true because you have the shows how do you get an answer it’s not it’s not a thing I don’t have an idea like like like like like that much lately clicked out Community wasn’t as it’s just it’s just cheers it’s just acted TV is not we’re not going to a sitcom till I have our minds blown by the concept of the sitcom that’s my best advice for TV excited to be too many people make that mistake science fiction sci-fi drama then
can people and I haven’t read never written that stuff or pitch that stuff to anybody so you have ideas are you going to no absolutely not and I would if I had any ideas it’s got its own momentum and what is the tough thing for TV writers to to learn is that you want to yeah it’s really important to beat be super talented that’s fantastic if you can but if you can manage that but what you need to do is like I understand that everyone wants to help and they’re all getting paid a lot of money to help so just work less and think last year you’re going to be just as talented as a writer whether you sync a long time about what you want to ride or not what you’re being paid to do is be smart on paper
they want to say
just say yes
we’re going to pickle star
an alien can still invade the pickle store in episode 5 it doesn’t matter if you want it if you would want to get fired later you can figure out how to do it my boss stops all over my soul furiously and regular lights at Max again how do I get paid for enduring that
I got to put on Airport
is that a guy that team the Lions wrote a book for CEOs or something but it was all for a while I was kind of talking about how to make assholes think that doing what you want is their idea because that’s what a lion tamer does obviously Lions can rip your head off if they want to but what would lion Tamers are doing is convincing the lion that like Fritz is what I stand on those stupid little pedestal sinks that it’s defending the pedestal it stinks that that a pedestal and then the lion tamer really wish I could be at the end of lions going
the line is really proud of itself so I could trick your dipshit boss into thinking that that she would be even dumber for not paying you more I don’t know how to do that otherwise I would have picked a better job than I pick so I don’t have any bosses in the soon as I do I got three years before they’re all over my ass of Spider-Man I don’t want to sound like a broken record but I got fired
what do you think I mean what do you think their justification is not their press release answer but why why do you think they fired you cost-benefit ratio of the show to Friday night 8:30 which an NSAID almost canceled we’re just about to cancel you shot clock they’re not going to give the ball to Psycho pants like
we had you on Thursday is the best motivation is is like to get to know you definitely it’s not a dumb decision to bid me adieu I’m just an asshole but I don’t take notes very well I don’t like you could give me five notes that if one of them was what I was going to do already I’ll say that’s a good idea and the fit it doesn’t fit Only Fools and 436 3 Seasons
are will drugs be allowed in harmontown
yes of course you know that you would not allow country right now with Lake momentum like we are all freaked out cuz we go oh shit if you legalize this tomorrow whether it’s a certain kind of gun and we are all the stuff make perfect sense but it’s only given the situation that we have that’s why we have to start over cuz it’s the truth is we should have self control tomorrow just invent the laser wand that if you touch people with it they just their body just disappears to be the most successful person in the world because he invented because he can’t be prosecuted for a crime he can’t be
is this get to be president or is it wrong to hurt people and make them dad remember that that’s really the star were pursuing here not how to make it again because we record it and I’d like to put it on the website but it’s an old classic it’s my origin story the story of how my dad beat the living fuck out of me and my brother for playing with matches it’s really my spider because it explains almost everything I can think of about my about my as I am and I got caught playing with matches my brother love sending stuff on fire is fascinated with fire and he was five years older than me so we went out in the back bushes and we gather some dry leaves me in a book of matches and we’re lighting will file the quizzes
bonfire at my mom came looking for us and she caught us play with matches so for this offense as with all major ones the misdemeanor was always at The Wooden Spoon my mom could handle that fit a big bag of Wooden Spoons cuz he would break on your ass just hit you in a lie wooden spoon people in the audience. I can steal you for the for the for the felony offenses like playing with matches big deals it was wait till your father gets home and my dad didn’t get home until like 9 p.m. usually it was very hard worker and a lot of his job seemed to involve some Southern Comfort and wait till your dad gets home you got caught playing with matches I’m telling you there’s going to be really bad says mom
my brother’s freaked out he didn’t usually freaked out very easily this is a guy who once crawled out the bedroom window and it’s Spider-Man pajamas just to go fight crime
I admired his Moxie he did he didn’t seem to be afraid of much we were in for it my mom took me aside and said Daniel you know those little stories you like to write cuz I did like to write the little things again
in the fabulous time tunnel by Dan Harmon I just write on typing paper and Staple in the Gathering
Once Upon a Time
my mom cuz I want you to write one of your stories for me while you wait for your dad to get home I want you to write me a story about a little boy that gets caught playing with matches and regret it to go honors you I feel like a part of her was going let’s not lose the lesson but I think most of her was going like I want to fuk with you basically the bad guy from Tango & Cash right now I I want to I want to just spend a psychologically I don’t know
as a special request as a story continue this whenever she says anything can you say it as Jack Palance I want you to write it about a little boy gets caught playing with matches and learn to regret it so I think in my head if I tackle this
quickly
so I do I sit down and I write once upon a time is a little air in the bathtub
you know play with matches and a blazing fire and I thought it was a good idea but I know that it wasn’t in the end of my story the dad comes home and he the story that’s a little boy Road seeing this year this is how I got fired
did you remove your Meta Even back then zero research my dick at the end of the story the dad comes home read the story and realizes that the kid felt so bad for playing with matches that he didn’t need a spanking and I V and I gave it to my mom and
this is really good
I don’t buy the ending
for real
so I am sorry I don’t handle notes well sometimes it means I’m going to die if she’s right you should have said and then my father came in and he kicked the shit out of me and I call the police 15 to 20 years in a minimum-security prison and the neighbors came over is that what the fuck is going on is doing this you’re insane this is like a horror movie yeah my parents always said like later when they do you know everyone’s parents if there’s anyone in this room that Sarah had like Hands-On parents you know the story like they always go they turn into little raisins on the field use their they’re fine you play pinochle with them and they’re like does that you can never
Mary Lou Retton doing it but I never got my spanking actually cuz my brother’s was so bad that there was a medical dad but I feel so bad my parents listen to list cuz they’re they’re good people everybody should understand that now that we’re podcasting and I feel like he can’t the statute of limitations on their emotions like I thought it would be like hitting my parents with a belt
to talk about
it would hurt them at a very vulnerable time in their lives when they can’t do anything about it
why don’t why don’t you why don’t you tell the story we’re Google record it but before we are at and we have the option to Mom and Dad write a letter r story
about a son who grows up to be a famous writer has a podcast I can stuck in limbo in those packs if it says we end up in these rules or sealed off from each other and not understanding exactly what I have to do cuz my dad dad did it and his dad did it and never mind if I can all these people are insane my dad took off his belt and say this is going to hurt me a lot more than it’s going to hurt you so drugged you get it mixed up half the time and it said just stay the scariest thing in the world
it’s late and that’s not the way it’s supposed to work in your arm out of your body but just think of think of puppies burning when do you think you would make if you had kids so what kind of father do you think you’re prepared to be a girlfriend to the audience but I was telling a story last week and how is working in shelving units in like Aaron was there and I cut the shelves wrong at Home Depot and they didn’t fit for like the third time back and forth tonight and I just threw shit you know the cat like before I figure out what the cat was doing
give me the toy
the cat was giving you notes they give you something to know I’m aware of this I’ve met my friends children and I’ve read all about it and it’s only 13 years before they’re adults that can really like to say names of people who are legally allowed to defend themselves used to just like I remember when she she likes you love Bananas Foster it was a dessert that Dina would make for and so I would do a little character called Bananas Foster. I do a little dance she giggled I was like a rockstar texting and like
there’s that kids like you only got 12 years before they’re actually like now they’re rolling their eyes at you and actually have eyes to rule and I’m using sarcasm and stuff like that’s only 12 years after it was adorable for one year and propose I do
but I just terrified I’m not going on the handle it with the Wind
I I I really do and I definitely the solution isn’t to be one of these these horrible pussy dads that are all over the walking around Target in the kids just screaming her head off of that to the people are just going like no one conversation with me she didn’t need a wooden spoon was that n word
it seemed like that was coming. There was only one logical remember the logic see the movie theater and everyone was talking right now shut up I was at a friend’s house and I said something kind of rude in front of the kids that went to school and cocky or you know that suspend your disbelief I was a little like a little high and two months probably in the kitchen and just went across my face
can I talk to you and I was like 12 and she was just told me across the face and you’re not better than my son
methinks he protest too much
I’m fucking her
and I mean fucking her dad really likes 12 year olds
should we do if I remember because I suddenly realize this cycle of abuse it was really happening I thought she told me to feed the cat open the closet door and I bent over to grab a can of cat food and I expected sharp kick in my tailbone like a really hard like Charlie Brown going for the football hard like like like she just put everything into it but she wasn’t Charlie Brown and my tailbone was there in the tailbone and also just any kind of food in my hand and and was 12 years old time like cusping you know I have testosterone like starting to kind of go through my blood a little bit I probably had a little whiskey you like Hitler
Dasher something I got a little little prepubescent like big little with my my upper lip I wheel around hefting this object in my hands can a cat food cat food how to make portion them yet and I turned around with this thing and my mom
like she wilted like
and I said it was like oh I get it I just like white trash like larvae becoming a b you know I’m supposed to do this now
she was doing she knew what I was supposed to do and she was okay with it and I literally broke that cycle they’re in the pantry that day for my sake and I was like I was like Jesus Christ no I’m not going to bludgeon you to death like Crispin at the end of short kids of my own and and and and and find a nice closet to store our cat food and I’m not going to keep doing it all of my answers will be five words okay
3 Word answers I like her attitude
Dan and honor of Erin mcgathy soundboard last last week I don’t have the I want you to do a lightning rounds if you can yell it
if you can have sex with any mythical creature which would you pick, more mouths
is written I’m going to read it as written would ever write a play what play
are you a conspiracy theorist if so do you have one in particular you firmly believe
call shoes
The Jug and mine’s getting shot in the head
a friend is a soul
it’s not like Michael Bay is sitting in the back I’ve been really wants to know that for me
should I wear
how do I raise 200,000 Plus on Kickstarter without an established brands
how many hand jobs
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