Episode: 10 – A Tuppence or a Shilling for Your Wainscotting (9.10.12)


Episode: 10 – A Tuppence or a Shilling for Your Wainscotting (9.10.12)


Mayor Harmon and Guest Comptroller Erin McGathy discuss Knight Rider, Alf and anxiety, then play a quick round of Dungeons and Dragons before getting into a huge fight about movies and breaking up.


good evening ladies and gentlemen Geniuses at harmontown
Sears let’s welcome to the stage
Bernard harmontown mr. Hardin
thank you
all right all right it’s cool or Erin mcgathy
do they like you are okay with you acceptable here to explain it before I we run a tight ship just don’t let it get it off on too many tangents cuz we don’t like to do that but like to focus your favorite drinks
the theme of tonight is I guess we decided in the car cuz I was trying to explain Knight Rider to to Aaron
so I thought maybe with me with me to see in the eighties and just we’ll just get some stuff for me guys about the 80s and I’ll try to find out what she knows about them and I realize it’s a sounds like a pretty sloppy show while he was a cop that he got I think he got targeted by the mob so they can then he got he got killed too but they raced him and changed his face and give him a new name of why they do that well I don’t know more crime in the car as a spirit doesn’t have aspirin in it
it’s a it’s just a very sophisticated automobile this was a time and an Indian pop culture when computers were very exciting the people in magical like they get it was enough that it was a computer that’s what made it talk it had a personality that William Daniels from st. elsewhere or something what do you know about Alf
episodes of Alf I didn’t I remember that he was here he was kind of like a she or he was probably that right I was just trying to catch him was there ever a danger cuz I used to watch My Favorite Martian in Mork & Mindy there was always a lost it is usually like an FBI guy or somebody for somebody
if we find out how God.
I stopped everything Adam Goldberg is getting fidgety I just saw him in the audience he’s raising his hand
stop the show when he sees her on the paper will talk about it
Finley menaced by the government
all right here’s everything that Adam just said
according to Adam Alpha was wanted by the government and wanted to eat cats then he said I’m sorry I have Asperger’s because he has Asperger’s it’s like a tick television it was anyone else a child in the next three episodes of Alf
I’m sorry because the soldiers aren’t allowed to watch current things just that because there is a console jarek who is the boss Builders General
I can talk
am I fight they do the same thing in all of China do you have to like keep people from looking at Bloomingdale’s catalogs if you want to fight the
our way of life
I’ll have to talk that’s my impression of elfs dad
Max right now are you trying to get chased by the government and eat cats
I want I want to get serious tonight cuz it’s obviously a quiet either intimidated or board crowd I’m not blaming you guys please don’t ever let me slip into that it will never abused you just because I’m doing a shity show
I’m being well let her good cop it
you can blame me I wouldn’t do that either happening or entertaining there’s nothing there’s no there’s no one coming at me with a knife your your your your your your your heart rate can can be down here by like sleeping you can be relaxed like a person in a in a commercial for a bed
that’s fine cuz ultimately there is no sponsor and there is nothing at stake tent for $10 which is now gone
but I will give you $10 worth of an experience what if I have to slash my wrists up here you won’t react to it you’ll cringe and you’ll make you sad Humanity correct thank you baby
I want to talk about the my new my newly found mental disorder the fact that I’m losing my fucking mind that I’m going to be falling apart I started doing this diet where you eat that the 4-Hour Body diet and hold your applause okay in the 4-Hour Body diet in a nutshell I didn’t read the book Aaron did she imparted it to me you eat beans meat and veggies for 6 days a week then every cheat day Saturday in our case you eat 18000 cupcakes 20 pretzels at cars fire hydrants whatever you want cuz you spiking your blood sugar and then you most certainly not doing the diet by supplementing it with chords of vodka
then for you Avid podcast he’s you know that there was a point where I called an ambulance because I got so light-headed I had no idea what was going on I had it since a shed that I’d never experienced before it was just big white headed missed there was no pain and it wasn’t having my heart wasn’t going fast there was nothing other than it was just like a cloudy but it was so persistent and so odd and I never experienced it before so it’s certain that this is this means I’m dying and I gave it like 45 minutes to an hour to go away thinking won’t let drinking water or maybe it’s you ate a bowl of beans like maybe it’s blood sugar cuz of his diet it just keeps going to lay down I don’t want to lay down cuz that’s what did people do is lay down and call an ambulance ambulance comes over full of all these Jake Gyllenhaal’s and they they they took my they said you’re in fine condition I went to the doctor doctor took my blood blood came back he said
talk about a podcast cholesterol perfect livers perfect kidneys are perfect blood sugar is very very low but not in a bad way your triglycerides are high but not in a bad way just a sign of you being honest I out of my got time so is that anything they keep having these light-headed spells and I’m like what the fuck is going on an errand keep trying it’s probably anxiety probably like a van like I said I’m sorry for the retarded people who had just heard them say that like my sister my sister is retarded I get one every podcast because of her and the sacrifices I made growing up with her
the next thing I called retarded will be valuable
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the theme to like to my own life so it’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerves like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
so I finally come to there and then I have to break through during the beach trip with my friends and I got somebody said vitamin D deficiency in the Sun and I’m like I’m like Birdman I got to get power that’s what it is of course I never go out I’ve got I figured it out I figured it out and then I have a root beer. I feel great every time I get on the internet and a Google whatever it is I’m going to go potassium deficiency symptoms and I search for lightheadedness and I go okay there it is I clicked it I got it I don’t like doing all these experiments on myself trying to figure this out and basically all the experiments result in further and further Panic like I I just keep like these things don’t go away so we went to San Diego to the San Diego Zoo I’m walking around she’s in heaven
always wanted to go there it’s a bunch of fucking animals I love it too but I’m preoccupied by the I just I keep having these spells and there it is again okay I’ll drink a Sprite I think I got to think it’s blood sugar her out of that feel better okay half hour after I drink a Sprite my head clears up perfectly but then that starts not being the case and then that science goes out the window now no matter what I do I drink too much Sprite maybe I’m hyperglycemic I don’t know what is probably in the hole San Diego Zoo and dangles you from 5,000 ft that’ll relax you and I’m standing in line and it’s like this is probably not a good idea but I don’t want to be a pussy cuz God knows I’ve I’ve done nothing but show her what a man I am so far to find out now is that complete pussy
not a good idea I’m going to get a bucket dangling over people and we get to the front of the line and it was like still talking about it like a fire hydrant does not the draft is that what what what the fuck is wrong with me what’s happening to me here’s something wrong with you and you don’t know what it is like I’m spoiled rotten like 20% of you in the audience have something like some of your diabetes meter that’s like I survived or he’s at he came here tonight in spite of his symptoms he’s like like you know the doctors are giving him horrible news and he’s I am just going like why am I light headed
I like crying and hotel rooms and then going to the zoo and going I think we need to go home we’re standing in front of the line at the at the bucket and Aaron goes Dan Dan
you’ve eliminated every possibility sooner or later you have to accept the fact that you’re going to be fine it’s anxiety no it’s not no it’s not it’s not anxiety I don’t have anxiety I’m a zoo and everything is going fine for me you’ve gone you even spent the last six months to a year going through in Norman’s changes that no one the only one that hasn’t acknowledged you the only one that hasn’t accepted or acknowledged expressed our felt any of it you acted completely normal while your entire life has completely changed and it doesn’t matter if you’re at a zoo or eating spaghetti or drinking Sprite or dancing or drinking or drinking water or not drinking water like they’re coming and going at random intervals you’re having panic attacks and the way that they go away is when you accept the fact that you’re going to be fine
and I and I was like if I was thinking I might have to keep going on
making me panic and I
and I had experiment of the past like looking in the mirror and going you’re fine that’s stressful that’s what Norman Bates does you’re fine you’re fine you’re a winner you’re going to get out there and take the World by storm get out there Norman but because I was in a line for a bucket that goes over thing and I had to just internalize it really for the first time I set it in my head again I’m having to be fucking fine there is nothing left to do either I’m going to die either have a tumor or like like like like a ghost Twilight Zone episode somebody erased to be in the past or or its new form of pretzel I haven’t narrowed down and I can do nothing about it
I’m probably going to be fine
and then my it is banished my head completely cleared up I got completely normal like I am now and then we got in the bucket and dangled over the zoo and I was fine it was like even more relaxed as like a bucket over the zoo and I started crying because my girlfriend cured me of my insanity and saved me from what I thought was something that was killing me and it wasn’t a funny story but it was it was admitted it made me like you more
I hate I hate inflating her head
but maybe that has something to do with a baby in a relationship or in my car so you know this is it I don’t know maybe that’s it maybe it’s writing a CBS sitcom they might be idea that you’re that you’ll accept maybe you’re so awesome that I’m having anxiety attacks
that I’m not trying to stress you out just trying to understand why would like to add that I was fine and it was fine it was like oh shitt what year did we cured it and then like today I was in the writers room and I and then I started having one of this time I was like I just noticed on my stopwatch I can see how long you think what’s going on the last of the half hour and then it was gone and then right before the show I went out with you when I’m across the street to high key that I had one for like an hour like a general unease they have they live different classes like the ghost ghost in Ghostbusters like there’s there’s the kind that are so small like waves that I can they’re so small that I can just jump over I’m I can feel them coming and then I just go there not happening and then they go away and then there’s ones that are so big that that me saying they’re not
opening of them is not going away makes them bigger and that and that those are basically the two categories that and then they last anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and a half and and so now I’m like and then we had this argument about well I shouldn’t be cataloging them I’m going to I’m going to the doctor tomorrow cuz I probably have a fucking meatball in my brain or so there’s a twin that’s like trying to get out of my brain and it just keeps moving every once in awhile I get kicks and then I have a spell and then it stopped working and I don’t fucking know I tried not drinking of trying to put the beans
psyched about having anxiety disorder like on the level of Tony Soprano like I’m like I have an interesting guy I’m kind of in a blanket I think that makes me pretty interesting
you want it so bad no I want and glasses why is my vision 20/20 sexy glasses are too hot to wear cool leather jacket like Neil Gaiman
dresses like Ford prefect all days from London then I said you know why cuz he grew up with the name Gaiman that’s why you were going to be too sci-fi guy in a Sci-Fi contest a group of the name game and on the playground I was going to ask you I was going to pull another thing
if it’s like milking a cobra like
like a tuning fork it’s a weird feeling so anxious apologies its job is to sit in and observe their with their mood is a nuanced organic thing that no one can predict or control they like a gelatinous mass wait a little people shaped particles that it’s like Play-Doh or goo and I know they can’t I know the only thing that they respond to his total like kind of balance between acknowledging them and ignoring them who spins plates have to like spinning plates nasta if if he if he if he pretended the bounteous wasn’t there either be a shity plate spinner but also if he kept asking them which plate to spend all the plates across the floor and sit there like this and then the performer kind of weeds into the Jews and the air-conditioning in the and then whatever’s happened on the evening news and whatever
end of sandwiches they’ve only eating like they all they all add up to some random number and we just accept it like dark and heavy like gravy so I want to take a nap after Thanksgiving hang out watch a football game Wizard of Oz very anxious that’s what you always say
I don’t know what to do with that that makes me more anxious
anxiety attacks forget that me talking about them gives Aaron anxiety attacks everyone please forget that you affected us forget you’re watching a show get up and in an orderly fashion
go to your cars and forget that you came here doesn’t mean that it’s going to end its have cancer
like the symptoms could still be the same I’m going to go and back into the doctor and I’ll go seriously you can’t just take some blood out of a guy’s arm and tell him he’s fine like I’m something happening to me you have cancer and no you’re not dying
you are in love with a dying man died of cancer
maybe I want that kind of love maybe I’m sick of hearing about this woman that gave you so much you marry her or let go of her and marry me what do you think
how do you spell read like he started he just decided that you were telling me that they all knew who Dan was telling me how cool it was all the
their names are bread and butter
and I have known them for my entire 20-year career and I am Peking right now I knew that your high school class would have like five guys in it who played tuba or track team to like a couple guys would like slip up to me at the urinal and go hey man good job
I got a job going to high school with my girlfriend
and I spent like an hour there
cuz of my prostate
and my desperation through all of the Friday the 13th movies for the first time in my life having to explain them and it realizing how dumb they are I like how confusing guys trying to like like go from Friday the 13th Part 1 all the way to to the end even though they stopped numbering them and started rebooting and and all the stuff in it it kept very convoluted same with Knight Rider team was Phil Collins in the eyes of my 27 year old girlfriend
wow you you like dumb shit to Neutral Milk Hotel why is there why is there Hotel neutral since can we talk about the fact that you don’t know how Smurfs talk which I found out I called Aaron is Smurf for who I can’t remember the reason we were in a hotel room but I wrote this down here why I called her a Smurf as like she was brushing your teeth and he said well stop being Smurf lazy and Smurf brush your teeth
that’s not
I can’t believe you don’t know how Smurfs talk
okay so it’s the only answer. I’m going to go park the car in Smurf Smurf
amazing you’re wrong I’m going to go Smurf my Smurf
yeah well they’re Smurfs they’re fucking idiots and they’re all dead now they make no Smurf when they talk
they they they they leaned that they they ask the question how strong is context and they go over the line into the point really what are you talking about
the boss gave me a Smurf to fuck you or let’s get married
depending on what I find out later a Smurf is yes exactly that’s the whole thing it’s kind of brush your teeth so adorable I can’t believe that’s the extent of my power that’s what 12 years buys me I’m learning I don’t you think I’d have bigger arms or something and some just some trivial knowledge about Smurfs
driving xiety attacks okay let’s change that
alright Spencer you you want to take your position at the dungeon master table so for those of you have never been here before and never listen before couple weeks ago we started playing Dungeons and Dragons on this podcast since then learned that there are several podcast that played Dungeons & Dragons
Brian Posehn just launched go anywhere that’s all he’s going to do and I’m not gonna let that stop me give us some very nice for Spencer that really wonderful
thank you
and also can you give it up for yourself or going to a live show
that’s that counts as an accomplishment these days that’s the new thing we were at the San Diego Zoo and we came up with an idea that I thought was pretty cool because I heard a baby crying and you’re walking around you so used to looking at animals and you seeing the signs with animals on them and then I heard a baby crying and I couldn’t tell her I was coming from and I was like I’ll be weird if you walked around the corner and there was a cage and it has a baby I was just a baby in there and then I realized babies do like like an ingenious because I know overhead cuz we’re overpopulated so and they’re everywhere but people like them they like looking at them women love them like and the cages are cheap because they can’t go anywhere and then and then and then when they when they get old enough that they’re not fun to look at for women you send them to an idiot Zoo

cuz I haven’t learned to do anything cuz they just been babies in a zoo
and guys would love that
money cuz it’s like three stooges is go through magic going through cage after change of a guys that were raised in captivity with no exposure to any alphabet or math
play eating bricks I like guys would be like high-fiving each other
you know people call me crazy but
how to save the economy baby zoo who look crazy
different positions sauce faces
and then you do you slice it into different sections
I need to ship it off to a different place would like to eat
if I’m Eli Roth
I’m talking about a beautiful baby rolling around in some grass or whatever babies like it through the field but you use
Aaron anastasi McGaughey how dare you baby do look it up
that was another thing I thought I wanted to talk about
do you go to your liking a Bengal tiger or a marmoset paper like a raccoon how are you supposed to feel bad for it or good for it like at the San Diego Zoo in there was a spider on top of the urinal and I would say I came out and I said hey Aaron there’s a spider in the urinal at night I bet he was trying to say to me like Hey how do I get in on this and Aaron laughed but ironically and said that is such a dad joke
not to throw her to the bus but she said maybe I should maybe there should be a bad girl friends too
is right after the Polar Bear exhibit as soon as this beautiful thing called the Polar Bear Plunge and you’re seeing them under water and light on the ice and there’s nothing different fuck you guys I’m Cool Hand Luke Inglis I will be inside if you need me
speaking of like people there than Star Spencer have you ever have you ever worked at a haunted house
are you talking to me I thought you said I’m sorry Spencer have you ever worked at a hundred creepy being paid to scare people right now for the March of Dimes
Ontario works at a haunted house clap your hands station and jump out of a coffin be afraid by the hangar or exhibit but there’s no 40 year olds that would laugh at it the God damn it I got my little my little file and then one last thing this is the last thing after this we’re off road and Ruby on Rails
I was just having drinks with Aaron before the show and across the street
who spilled a little burger patty cuz they’re stupid diet and they really brought the check and they put two little meringues on it which we can’t eat Herring took them and put them in her purse and said I’m hiding these because I don’t want to hurt her feelings
I said I wrote it down like the waitress has a relationship with the meringues to dinner with my mom and put it on the table and I took a bite of my friends
my mom in her purse
I’m pulling a chair like Bill Cosby because of the so fucking low-key tonight to the dentist for 45 minutes I don’t care transition a little surprise for you
okay did you just sit tight and let me play Dungeons & Dragons by myself
surprise hahaha I need my character sheet Spencer how are you tonight I’m doing pretty good how are you I’m good this is engaging podcast.
Thank you sarcasmos
the first time that I’ve ever been said to me in bed
Felix Pryor cheeks are rosy as possible I am sure big butts a lot I am a first-level wizard I have recently become friends with my previous rival cork play by Jeff Davis and we fought a giant piggy bank and beat it
and let me get some treasure and now I refuse just because Jeff not here to not play the game so Spencer tell me where I am and what’s going on well you’re still in the cave and after putting most of your treasure a way you notice a strange wooden box
for the podcast listeners I have this physical Box come and take it please
this wooden box is stained purple with engraved stars and celestial bodies on its surface
oh my God
you know damn it’s been great on this podcast in the past 3 weeks
I hope this campaign never ends I know we took it to the next level and our relationship last week with that hug it and it meant a lot to me
will you please level up with me forever and become immortal so if I open it in real life Spencer handed me a real box is a little weird who’s Shar-Pei but slots found in his treasure so if I open it in real life I’m opening it in the game right now you’re going to die, I got someone to come on tape all right well I I’m I’m not I’m not going to open it cuz I don’t know if you know this about my character but I’m a pussy
I have a lot of anxiety what happens if I cast detect Magic on it you detect a small trace of unearthly magic coming from inside the Box itself does not seem magical right eye exam it as much as I can for any kind of mechanisms like you no strings that lead to guns that are pointing at my face
over thoroughly and find that it doesn’t appear to be trapped or mechanized in any way
I very carefully open the box opening the box very carefully you see a small Stone inside I do in real life I do too
that’s the beauty of it
oh I I touched the stone in real life but I’m not doing that in the game you can I mean it won’t kill you
what what was inside last small iridescent Stone its surface shines in many colors and shape is confusing full of squared Spirals and Tiny ridges license. This is an integrated marketing campaign for Spencer’s girlfriend who owns a surf shop where she
find Pacific Avenue
it’s called a quiggle it’s supposed to bring you luck in finance
sorry grasping the stone in your hand you feel its surface warm up in your surroundings Fade to White and you lose Consciousness the next thing you know you’re outside the Trove again the stone glows brightly than Fades the dimness this must be the fragment of great bits greatness that Darabont sent you sent me and my friend of court to the said that there was a frog with a break this I found the so I did I read did you say I teleported lost Consciousness and when you came to you are outside the troll and it wasn’t anxiety it might have been all right but I teleported so that are we at with demons alright well then I’m done with that Trove so I’m I’m going back to town I’ll write the road back to Thorndale is wrong is long but you are confident after finding the fragment of greatness you see the familiar green Rose of field surrounding Thorndale and it fills you with a sense of comfort and calm the true on your left
Staples in just pass it the Local Tavern now I I didn’t come up with the tavern name I thought the audience might want to name the tavern may be alright what’s your name sir David. Do you want to name a Tavern take your time I’m going to make a drink and we can add it out the pots and just take your time you’re not you’re not under any pressure to be as magnificently witty and nnn quick as I have been tonight even if you could take his listen to this music and think of a Tavern name
panty hose are times when you feel like your legs are a little too pale or if or when you are dating someone who says that he like pantyhose
for ladies who want to feel like Sigourney Weaver in the morning and a burglary at night
tights and pantyhose
this is an awkward at all
what do you think I like to
I love you I love you too thank you for taking my anxiety attack away at the San Diego Zoo
what was your name again
David David what’s the tavern name
Cha Cha’s Tavern Tavern Tavern The Tavern is a welcoming play it has a large lounge with tables and a puffy chairs and a Long Bar several humans gnomes elves and halflings are mingling and I know Miss standing on the counter pouring Steins of beer from a large keg I assumed that quark and I kind of a kind of busy with me yeah he’s just hanging out
what are we going to what are we going to I’m going to go I’m going to talk to the tavern keep about getting a room and do they have rooms to let at this tavern yeah this tavern has an upper floor with some rooms right all right see you head up to the to the tavern keeper he’s standing on the counter his name is Chacha and The Keeper of the tavern he’s a white-haired gnome with thin beard and he says he sees you coming up and he’s like I’ll be three copper All rights what a bargain at twice the price he thinks what say you for two rooms at up into my Shilling for a Wainscott
I could box with two rooms phone Lee three Silvers I’m so sorry
play Hey gold
iPad app
hi that’s all right keep the change you want Adventure I’ve never been in the adventurer and I’d like to I’d like to make sure our rooms are particularly safe so keep the change in exchange for your constant vigilance emotions to a poster on the wall it’s a wanted poster it says wanted the Amber Muller there’s a picture that looks like a lion with a flaming Main in
two tails made with pastel crayons there you go that’s good that’s dogs and most recently a Thorndale Mayer have been found and reports of a black burnt crops have been made in the fields Thirty silver pieces for any information on this Beast or fourteen hundred gold pieces for its head interesting thanks for the tip as you read the sign you notice someone seems to be staring at you and want to seeing you look at the sign and my noticing them peripherally you just feel the sense of being watched I look at them
you see a tall thin is it an elf no it’s a half-elf loved by all loved by all standing with a bow and a sword in the corner of the room he seems to be interested in your looking at the poster
all right so for the podcast listeners this is Aaron’s character
thank you thank you thank you have a seat thank you fart a lot
you know my name I heard of you
and you have me at a disadvantage mister
to you
I can’t stop you
regard me.
I’m also a ranger
well I have put on my loud robes today
tell me what you know of this lion I know that I just started looking at it on a sign
and that then you started staring at me and that now you say you know me and are fouling loudly that you and I are on the same page now across-the-board we’re all caught up I could sense your energy across the room I feel like you and I shall be friends forever
it’s so playing and invasive
like its owner join your team
I just want to stop you there he’s a very good friend of mine we met in the howling mines
that’s what you’re bringing to the table should we go to the adventure together of my special abilities
I am immune to sleep

yeah I like I like the cut of your jib thank you sir I just have to make sure that you’re not going to murder us in our sleep course not sir
I’m taking my hands I’m crossing it across my chest sir
all of the
Sedano’s have been onerous since the beginning
and the fungi and the rocks and the storms
we have always been here bringing goodness the world and no harm has been inflicted
I’m part I’m part we haven’t done anything wrong
I accept your house I grew up in a family without honor and I appreciate people who have it I’ve always dreamed of being part of a family that had some kind of Heather to the realm of of of of of of good things never didn’t enjoy Adventure while my gnome friend sleeps if you would like to be alone about that
like I barely knows a guy but go in adventures together okay and I’m not staying there be anything wrong with it if we were Partners in that sense I’m just saying it’s not the way it is you got the wrong idea man as the Earth is unashamed of his Rivers
honesty is like water let your water flow and be happy alright well I feel like it would take too long at this point I’ve come a long way and we need to sleep
are you staying here in the tavern I am not leaving you and I should go up the courtroom and ask him if he’s willing to have a salamander
quite alright Moraine sadhana room you open the door cork is trying to get to sleep but he hasn’t quite got to sleep he seems kind of bothered him gently
this is
Lana Gomez just want to get the quick verification that she will be involved permanently and all our adventures forever
how does she have a bow do I have a bow his ears have dirt
what are you guys let me sleep yes I know that your metaphorical you out of town by being in bed
that’s that’s not true I don’t know where you got that impression there’s a giant in the mythical Planet full of people traveling and all kinds of combinations this isn’t the first time two dudes in a hung out together why do you keep the guide your fixation is making me think that there’s shit up with you
all right well then we all go to sleep for the night do you have a roof since Saddam Hussein
my room my room is the forest at 6 in the lobby
all right yes okay Spencer everybody go to the Dragon
all right so it comes to this point in the show this is happened before we trying to figure out how this isn’t the worst harmontown ever going to do something so we have to close up the show we have to go to a weird personal revelatory exciting interesting place
okay help me out alright
weird personal for you and I
you’re sure
let’s get deep like a shirt Halloween everybody dresses jareth is Halloween jareth from the lab did we announce that Jeff has hired a costumer for his costume
share this shit is on we were we were having a conversation about about Halloween and Jeff we’re hanging out with Jared Spurgeon because it’s a lot to me as a kid I’m big deal
yeah I’m at the lot to me is RoboCop if I ever get the nuts up thank you gentlemen ladies
forget the Nets have it looking like a really good Robocop costume and I heard they’re remaking RoboCop they’re remaking everything I’m not going to I feel like I’m being baited to go to make it I don’t care what’s Barry made
marry me and your remake peat moss what you’re doing you’re telling me that you don’t care if I come to the movies anymore I get it it’s not my money that your answer is 18 year old people recall is I don’t know what RoboCop is
I feel. I think that makes me feel Hollywood
RoboCop’s a perfect movie interview first of all
gems found in that is RoboCop on the poster is a dude that’s too fucking looks like the Tin Man he just that it he just looks like the modern version of the Tin Man modern Circa 1986 whenever it was 87 88 I think was 88 what was it you know you’re not in your head to sell you okay and I was like that new my kid was here to fucking Guy Peter Weller and Jason so I can plastic was a fucking dumb robot suit and then the poster said part man and part machine all, I need a Robocop dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb but here’s the crazy thing grey two movie amazing movie was into revisitation of anything so now you’re revisiting it why why can’t how hard can it be to make another RoboCop without calling it RoboCop
beakerhead I’m looking across the room speaker speaker head part speaker part head
crossing guard
I’m proving the theory wrong aren’t you guys
fucking unicorn octopus shoe hamburger a giant ice monster meatballs 9 right now don’t give me a second baby I’m talking to friends
I’ll be better in a second, that guy puts the Mason jar up his ass you know it breaks in his ass and then he pulls the broken glass of his has the modern-day Frankenstein last I don’t know class but yeah it’s a hyphen between the Dell in the air
insects insects are at war with the hole in the ozone becomes a mouth how do you run from the only thing you’ve ever been under chicken huge maybe it’s good maybe it’s bad it may take 10 of them one of them is going to be good on accident die hard was it made by genius is it was just fucking stop it knock it off. Stop trying to figure out the system of a guarantee your movies going to make money based on the variables of while you take Matt Damon and you put a minute and then you take this thing that is Where the Wild Things Are that was a hit book and then you shoot it in 3D and if it can guarantee that oversees come on man I like it a little bit
because he hates the idea of people cheating on people and he’s convinced that every romantic comedy is about people cheating on people and recently Dan and I got in a very very big fight because I never asked Dan to watch romantic, but I wait till he’s asleep and then I put on it, and I was watching the ship and then they broke up for two years and then they got back together first of all I was enough of it in the middle
I realize I want to be with you cuz I keep this person is a fucking seasoning it’s not a plot point an atom you’re killing me you’re killing me
sorry Dad I don’t be upset she was asleep I talk in my sleep he was asleep and I was asleep that’s not the guy you’re making everyone think I’m a weird Scarface like sleep will you tell him nothing I said it but it was the thing the
Janet Jackson sleep all the time and sometimes I can understand
and I can’t remember if it’s the 70s girl shooting has danced and bullets are let you use your toes
don’t make them angry
Millville Bill Dance all over you with their poop
here’s the thing about movies
you can just make them up as you go
can we get a suggestion of what to do if you want to close the show with more improv movie things we talked about it and there’s no one else around it’s seriously I swear to God it sounds like a bit we’ve never fought about anything more severely it’s like I just I don’t get mad at me for watching them and then tell me that it’s not a big deal that I watch them watch them but then I go like will I go to the Syfy Santa Ana C-section and you kind of like come on you roll your eyes a little bit after a very big fight we had were you in the wrong I made I made a bathroom and I started picking out a movie and I came back in just a few looked at the section I was looking in
which is what I would like to call movies about things
I don’t make you do anything you don’t know I like watching Syfy like watching all those things perfect movies that are about like time travel in spaceships lasers of anyway well I guess you weren’t in that story like as if I owed you because I was I had a fight and then we made up now I got to watch fucking Jason Segel and James Franco travel across the country together like that like as if that’s the only movies I like I like
Motor City
bathroom God damn it you’re a bitch you’re a human bit I’m telling you man I’m just saying movies about people that fall in love and then fall out 11 I could fall in love again it’s like eating ketchup
looking for you on a movie about an octopus monster you can have a guy invent an octopus monster while he’s falling in love with someone and you can have the octopus much be the reason they fall out of love and then they can fall back in love because they beat the octopus monster it’s catch up the movies that are popular that you can’t it’s just fucking the mushrooms on top of the steak I am not arguing I’m arguing all of his movies with you I can’t hear you because I have a bigger point to make it there is what we’ve been telling stories first Three Sixty Thousand Years pulled out of my ass
it doesn’t matter you can you can play as many eggs as you want and telling stories for
thousand years if you if you if you drew that line on a piece of paper and you Illustrated the the portion of it that represented us telling stories about monsters eating people and then people beating them and people like like like with weird shit in them
90% of it was only we only just now invented like the idea that you can make a whole movie about a dude being mad into somebody
who cares if you’re not into her the movie be not into her and have a
I’m angry
I don’t think you’re wrong guy he liked the girl in he she died then he turned her into a robot that’s pretty cool
yeah cuz it’s become about a man in a woman’s relationship so they hate it you know it came up on stage right now maybe like I’m in this for three more hours let me let me see six more of them when is that there’s no such thing as a series of romantic comedies that goes to Lakes 12 Movies Jason Voorhees has been slashing people apart forever he’s a crazy fucking guy that kills people it doesn’t space doesn’t in the 18 hundreds
give me a read Daniel and I also like the movies real life
perhaps we should not be together you made it very clear
perhaps we should part ways you should be better suited for you
I’ll listen to I have this problem we just like listened to your I’m really interesting thing is really smart and stupid if he if you want me to listen to talk to you for a while and blow you and love you and care about you then I’m available I’m crazy like a dysfunctional your laboratory and mourn the loss of a relationship
computer yes mr. Harmon
continue research project Omega
Omega Amadeus online pretty fucking interested
I’m on the edge of my seat and seek out all female life-forms and annihilate them I’ll be your mother I’ll be there for you
eliminate all women
cars exploding yes I have one of those weird squeezing vagina is unlike any other vagina hard or rips off your body lift you into the air and Omega Amadeus looks at you with his gleaming red eye and says primary function
little tiny robot dick
emerging from Tiny hatch
just put it right here
it’ll be okay acceptable
I’m in town a short bus special
I’d like to thank them people Katie Levy
McKeever and my garden produces a live show Danielle Kramer I got the Marshall podcast producer director and Jenny
thank you guys so much for coming have a great night.
Thank you Erin mcgathy for controlling
thank you guys you’re a wonderful child
see you next week


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